Thank you as always for your kind reviews!

I've been tempted to turn up the tension in this chapter, and what better way than to drag Eddie back in. However, please don't hate me by the end of this… ha!

I recently watched Waterloo Road Reunited and there's so many gaps in there to fill in. Philip makes an interesting comment about losing his job and being totally lost in life. He then ends up in a flat that Rachel and Adam left him. Yup… all these perfect deets to build a story around. It got me thinking…

Anyway, hope you enjoy. Please review!

X

/

6: Child of Yours

September 2010.

"I'm sorry, Rach."

This poor lad was flustered, aware of the situation he found himself in. Crashing on the doorstep of his aunt's home in the early evening wasn't ideal.

"Don't be, it's not your fault."

The reply was flat; monotone and met with a muted sigh. Philip handed over a grizzly Sophie, clutching to a blanket. A tear stained cheek marked her porcelain face; her wispy mousy brown hair dishevelled. She was merely 10 months old, ratty and teething. Pleasant for nobody. Philip fussed over his sister in Rachel's arms, fixing her muslin. He was an adult in a teenager's body; a weird hybrid of clumsy adolescent lumbered with grown-up responsibility. A mule for this small child, ferrying her between two unaccountable adults.

"Phil, just go, it's fine. You'll be even later at this rate."

He knew it was out of care, but she sounded short and full of defeat. He was on his final warning at this bar job and he couldn't sacrifice himself again. Fifteen calls he had made to his mother, with no end in sight. She was MIA. Sophie's father, on the other hand, was attempting to balance a headship while co-parenting with a useless mother. His phone also rang out.

"I'll pick her up later," Phil interjected, quickly grabbing his pockets to account for his phone and keys. A stray dummy came out for Sophie, which soon followed over the threshold.

"No you won't," Rachel interjected.

Short again. He dare not argue back. But Philip knew his aunt well enough to know that her frustration wasn't directed at him, but rather the circumstances. Rachel on the other hand knew damn well her nephew was not going to be lumbered with this small child again - not on her account. If only she had sight of the two adults responsible; smacking their heads together seemed like an ideal release. Philip was at a loose end for what to say next.

"I'll call them," she added.

Her final line was his cue to leave as Sophie began to wriggle in Rachel's arms. This young child was another one desperate to escape. All that met Rachel was a final thank you from Philip. He didn't deserve this burden at 18.

As she closed the door, Adam surfaced from the kitchen. Taken off the hook, a coat slipped over his shoulders; preoccupied.

"Everything ok?" he quizzed, fussing with the coat collar. He noted the small child on his wife's hip. It was written all over her face.

"I feel for him, you know," she scoffed; restrained. She took a deep breath out, venting. The air would go blue if she let herself reel it off. Rachel's finger gently brushed the hair off Sophie's forehead, refocusing her attention. The little girl was exhausted from crying and had quickly quietened down. Her eyes were heavy; muslin scrunched in her little fists that carelessly rubbed her face.

"Where's Melissa?"

"God knows."

He scalded himself - it was a stupid question to ask. Adam glanced up to the clock in the hallway. Keys in his hand, he felt guilty that he was needed elsewhere. All he could do was give Rachel a glance of sympathy; she looked tired. He was concerned that this was not what she needed right now. Her plans for a relaxing evening and early night were clearly scuppered.

"Let me call Nick and cancel."

"No no, don't do that."

Rachel took a minute - and a deep breath - to pull herself together. She didn't need to crack in front of Adam - not right now. Likewise she didn't need the guilt of ruining his evening.

"I'll be fine, honestly."

He came forward to embrace her, careful not to knock Sophie; a reassuring, longing kiss met her forehead. Truthfully she didn't want him to go; somewhat clingy and dependent, it hadn't gone unnoticed. Rachel had been all-consumed, burdened with a heavy head - all of which had been unintentionally compounded by Kim taking respite at their home for the last three days. She didn't begrudge her friend in need, but it drew worries closer to home. With Kim having only departed for her mum's house two hours prior, Adam hadn't yet had the chance to properly unearth what was going on. Both stood here cuddled, clouded by identical thoughts. The moment was broken by a frustrated grizzle.

"As cranky as her mother," Rachel quietly quipped, pulling back with a small smile. She had been sufficiently steadied and reassured by a hug. Lighter. Her eyes met his. "You best get a move on."

/

The doorbell went.

"Rachel, I am so, so sorry."

This was the second set of 'sorrys' she had received on the doorstep this evening, except this time, two hours later, she wasn't so sympathetic.

It was time to tread carefully. Rachel was the master of expressing everything without saying anything - one glance said it all. Eddie knew that. She opened the door and he followed her to the kitchen, and running commentary ensued.

"I was stuck in an LEA meeting and it hugely over ran. My phone was going but I couldn't get to it."

He was almost pleading as she remained quiet, pottering about the kitchen in distraction. Eddie took the place in - it was unfamiliar to what he knew. It was homely, glossy yet understated. Clearly an investment. Uneasy, he felt like he was intruding on her new life.

He lost his next words as he noticed her lack of response. Silence ensued.

"I can't keep doing this," she began, quiet but firm. "And neither can Phil."

"I know."

"Do you?" It was a little quick. All Eddie could do was sigh in agreement - he knew she was right. Always. "Where the hell is Melissa?"

Eddie couldn't answer other than with a look of despair. Melissa was a bloody liability and he couldn't defend her. Quiet ensued again.

"It's not fair that Philip is being dragged into this," she began. It wasn't fair that Rachel and Adam were either, but that didn't need declaring. Her tone wasn't accusatory, but it grew in frustration.

Eddie knew what was about to happen. She needed to rant - at him - for placing her in this situation. She became increasingly busy in the kitchen, fussing. She only looked at him on occasion, when she had words to stab with. He knew she was biting her tongue, trying her best to remain neutral and diplomatic. The only apology he could offer her was the space to vent, knowing he fully deserved the lashing for burdening her with this.

Rachel, on the other hand, could never be angry with him - just sad. Disappointed that this decent, caring guy was attached to an erratic and frankly useless woman - her sister - for the next 18 years.

"You need to find a solution with Melissa," she began, firm but sympathetic. He winced a little at the use of you, rather than we. They used to be a team. The two of them, picking up the pieces left by Melissa. "I can't be the back-up."

She moved position in the kitchen, in a spot to face him from across the island counter. Rachel had found something else to occupy herself with.

"I thought it would help Phil moving back in with his mum but obviously that's not working out for him."

Eddie felt he had to brace himself. He stood there, like a scorned child. Reluctantly listening to the truth.

"He's 18 and is trying to work things out. His job's on the line. And now he's worrying about a child that isn't his responsibility."

Pause.

"And do you know what? I didn't plan to leave a life of stress behind to take on a different type of stress either."

He knew she was referring to the big changes she had made this year. Eddie was surprised to not only hear of her marriage, but also her spontaneous decision to sack in a job she loved. He did observe that she looked better for it. The worry had disappeared - for the most part - from her being. Her hair slightly longer, below her shoulders; a golden bleachy blonde. She was radiant, accompanied with sun kissed skin. In his eyes, forever beautiful, but no longer his place to comment. Those rings glistened on her finger.

"We're leaving the country in a week…" she trailed off. It was another sad reminder that she was referring to herself and somebody that wasn't him. She needn't said any more - Eddie knew what she was getting at. His security net - Sophie's saviour - wasn't going to be there anymore to pick up the pieces. It also struck him in this moment that the conversation was veering on the edge of personal - a tiny glimpse into this new life of hers.

"I know this needs to be sorted out," Eddie began.

"Yes, and quickly," she jabbed, much to his surprise. It hit a minor nerve with him, but he restrained. Eddie was firmly in the wrong, lumbering his ex with his child.

"All I can say is that I'm sorry you're caught up in this," Eddie added, in gentle honesty.

Rachel felt bad for snapping at him. This wasn't entirely his fault and she knew Eddie was trying his best with the circumstances. She pulled herself in, mildly scolding herself for being so sharp, but comfortable having declared what needed to be said. As the tone shifted, it felt vulnerable. Quiet fell on the both of them. Before Rachel knew what she was saying, she had said it.

"Don't you think this is hard for me?" It was barely a whisper. "Still stuck in this limbo with the two of you?"

Eddie was hit by her statement; the vulnerability. The fact she even went there, given life had significantly moved on, knocked the air out of him. He couldn't bring himself to verbalise anything. He remained mute in disbelief, uncertain of what to say, if anything. He didn't expect her to ever touch on feelings, ever again.

"Seeing Sophie…" she added, "Reminds me of how hurt I was."

Words failed to leave him in response. She had quietly poured out something that had been buried deep, and it now drowned him. To his surprise, irritation mildly grew within him. Rachel's reference to her hurt was clearly some sort of concealed jab; an emotional ploy - he was certain. Eddie knew he was in the wrong, and he restrained. She clearly said what needed to be said.

"I never did this deliberately," was all he could utter in response. It was gentle and understanding.

"Just don't," she interjected, cutting him off from the narrative she was sure he was about to reel off. At that moment, something inside Eddie began to boil; a fire lit. He was not the bad guy here, despite Rachel's quip. The emotional upset she had gone through was not entirely his fault. In sharp retaliation, he shot back. Mask off.

"It does hurt, doesn't it?"

Rachel stopped in her tracks, empty wine glass in hand. During the last scalding conversation they had this very wine glass sat in the same place, cradled in hand. Deja vu. Almost a symbolic weapon. It was a fraction of a second; she waited with baited breath to hear what he had to declare.

"Almost as hurtful to find out that so quickly after we broke up, you had married someone else."

The air drew cold. Eddie immediately regretted it - and for good reason. He'd ripped open a wound - one somewhat unrelated. It was the perfect emotional shot to place them on an even field. 1-1.

"My personal life is nothing to do with you", she stung back. A hard reminder.

Her quick, firm rebuttal shut him down immediately - he kicked himself for the insensitivity and danger of his statement, despite its truth. It did hurt him. But now Rachel was now partly a distant stranger, and they weren't here for petty games.

Now quiet fell upon them both, uncertain on where to go from this point. They both stood there reeling from the lash of one another's statements. It was ridiculous they were having this conversation - all was dead and buried. Rachel was married to another man. Eddie was stuck dealing with Melissa; reaping what he had sown.

Rachel was already emotionally drained and she let out a sigh - this needed to be over. This was stupid. Yet something within her stirred. She owed him nothing, but the temptation was strong to explain herself to him. This urge told her to stick the knife in. He had brought it on himself, having tempted danger by coming to her house - her and Adam's home - and bringing emotional turmoil. In a sick sense the power now felt good on the other foot. Maybe she wanted him to know how it felt. She was so happy in her marriage and she could make him sick with it. Torture beyond his control.

The temptation took over her, and she gave him what he asked for. An answer to her actions.

"We had history… and our relationship is uncomplicated," she stated, truthfully. It was the clarity he clearly wanted.

"Convenient, then?" He quipped.

"No." She snapped; defensive. Now they were grappling for power. His jab took her off guard.

"Don't spare me from the details, Rach," Eddie scoffed, sarcastically.

His response lit the fury within her. Protecting him was the decent thing but if we wanted the deeper truth he deserved it. What was to lose.

"Ok then," she began, nonchalant. She looked him straight in the eyes. "I knew very quickly that I was in love with him, more than I loved you."

Fuck.

Out of the spears shot it was the statement that dug in the deepest. It stung. She dropped a bomb and the truth was destruction. Eddie had played with fire and had been scorned as a consequence. He smirked, in sad disbelief; defeated. There was nothing he could fire back.

Rachel didn't recoil at her words, but she observed how it hit him. Her sympathy had waned, being replaced by the need to put Eddie back in his place. This was her and Adam's home and he had dared to unearth old feelings. He stood and fired bullets on dangerous ground.

She was, however, a little surprised at her own directness, but too much deep within her at this time had placed her on an emotional cliff. Rachel was only going to make one attempt to soften the blow as Eddie sat there, attempting to hide his hurt. She began to speak, truthfully, while also ignoring the gravity of the second statement she had dropped.

"I did love you though… in another life," she laid down her words; forgiving and gentle. He looked up, eyes meeting hers. She had firmly set the boundary but offered a lifeline - a peace offering that told him not to go there again. "Though look where we all are now," she continued. She was gesturing to how significantly life had moved on - a child, a marriage, and new circumstances.

A small smile met both of their features. For a fraction of a second, the old 'them' - a connection of understanding - momentarily appeared. Their lives now couldn't be any more different. Soon enough, as that moment of connection waned, reality began to bite.

"Eddie… this whole situation… you know I can't do it anymore," she began - it was time for final closure. He knew that too. Her words fell; lost. A final sting that he had to hear from her. All he could do was give a defeated nod in agreement.

As the voices fell, a cry came from the small child resting in the living room.

"I'll get her," Rachel said, right before Eddie had the chance. He was strictly confined to the kitchen, not allowed to move any further into the home. Even after all this time, Rachel still managed to place him exactly where she wanted him. She was the master at it, doing so with such subtlety. However, secretly he was thankful. As emotions still churned, he truthfully didn't want to know any more about her or Adam's life, or see the pictures on the mantlepiece. Their home. It quietly haunted him, and for the first time in a while the hurt panged.

She returned to the room, carrying this child. A strange ethereal image. In another life, it would've been his and Rachel's child she'd be soothing. It was all a cruel torment.

Eddie knew - once again, as he did before - that, really, this was it.