Author's Note: I apologize for the delay, my dears. I was on vacation for a bit and I always think I'll have lots of time for writing on vacations but it never happens. But at least part of my trip included a visit to Hershey Park, perhaps the closest thing one can get to the Chocolate Factory!
Charlie did not think the interviews were going well.
He had pulled up a chair outside of Mr. Wonka's office, trying hard to ignore the curious looks of the women. After each interview, Mr. Wonka handed him a single sheet of paper with his notes on it.
Jeannie Lauper, the first candidate, had an impressive resume...perhaps too impressive for the kind of menial work that was being offered. Mr. Wonka wrote that she was aggressive, bossy, and would not get along well with the Oompa Loompas, but she had found her ticket while buying candy for her nieces, so perhaps she had a gentler side once you got to know her. As Mr. Wonka showed her out of his office, Charlie saw that his mentor was wearing the false smile that he used so often around people he did not care for.
Selda Aranack, the second candidate, was even worse. Ms. Aranack was petite like Ms. Lauper and had her dark hair cut short like a man's, but it was feathered around her face to give her a delicate, youthful appearance. She smiled kindly at Charlie as she passed him, but at the end of the interview Mr. Wonka was frowning. Charlie quickly scanned the notes and saw the problem immediately. Ms. Aranack's two favorite things in the world were vegetables and exercise. She refused to answer any of Mr. Wonka's questions and instead launched into a passionate speech about how terribly unhealthy chocolate was and what Mr. Wonka could do to make it more nutritional. Charlie doubted she was really even interested in the job.
Things improved a bit with the third interview. Belinda Stolp was a burly, curly-haired Frenchwoman who boasted about her cooking skills and her prowess in the bakery. She tried different chocolates each week and decided that Mr. Wonka's were the finest. She wasn't at all surprised that one of her regular trips to the candy store had resulted in a golden ticket and believed she'd make a fine addition to the factory. She seemed to think she'd be concocting new recipes, not filing receipts. Mr. Wonka thought some of her ideas actually had merit, but the goal was to find a secretary, not someone to share his laboratory.
Charlie mulled the idea over silently. It was very unusual for Mr. Wonka to consider allowing anyone other than Charlie and the Oompa Loompas more than a brief glimpse of his Inventing Room. Charlie was not sure he liked the idea. It was one thing to hire someone to handle tedious paperwork; a person with access to the Inventing Room could easily ruin Wonka Industries. He resolved to keep a close eye on Ms. Stolp while she was inside the factory.
A muffled crash from behind the closed door of Mr. Wonka's office interrupted his thoughts.
Willy thought the whole interview concept was useless. What a terrible process of getting to know someone! He should never have let Charlie talk him into it. He contemplated whether avoiding the pile of unfinished papers on his desk was really worth all this fuss. Deciding glumly that even Vermicious Knids were more appealing than paperwork, he pasted a smile on his face and turned lady sitting across from him.
"So, Ms. Weston..."
Ms. Weston was no longer where he had left her. She was much, much closer.
She had drawn her chair up next to him, her knees almost brushing his as she crossed one leg elegantly over the other. The hem of her silky dress slid a few inches upward at her movement. She leaned towards him in a way that made her low-cut neckline seem to plunge even further and watched him from under lowered lashes.
Willy slid his chair back an inch and cleared his throat, his eyes darting for a safe place to focus on. Everything about her fluttered and teased him. He found himself staring at her hair. It was long and blonde and smooth like honey, falling in thick waves and curls around her shoulders.
Honey went well with chocolate.
"So, Ms. Weston," he began again, valiantly ignoring the way his voice had jumped in pitch.
"Mary Sue," she purred, sliding forward in her seat until their knees bumped again.
"Ah, y-yes," he murmured. "How did you-" She reached out and put her hand on his leg!"-find your ticket?" he finished in a rush.
"Oh," she said absently, her other hand reaching toward him. "My daddy got it for me." She leaned forward to touch his hair, tousling the curls as she ran her fingers through them. Willy sat frozen in astonishment bordering on panic. "I'm sorry," she said coyly. "I just couldn't resist."
Aware that she was now practically sitting in his lap, Willy fumbled for the next question. "What-" She was still leaning closer. "What do you-" Her gaze, brilliantly blue, met his from inches away. "What..." Was she actually going to...
As her eyes fluttered shut and he felt her warm breath across his face, Willy finally snapped free of his stupor. He tried to shove the woman away but she had tangled herself up in him so much that his efforts only made her rock and jiggle against him in entirely inappropriate ways.
"Oh, Willy!" she giggled and grabbed his head, kissing him forcefully.
"Mmmph!" he protested, flailing wildly. The world spun into a haze of unpleasant warmth and expensive perfume and then Willy found himself lying flat on his back.
The door to his office flew open and Charlie gaped at him from the doorway. Ms. Weston was straddling his hips and managing to look both beguilingly embarrassed and supremely pleased with herself at the same time. The chair they had spilled out of was lying abandoned on its side.
"Charlie!" Willy gasped pleadingly and the boy immediately strode forward to pull the woman away off of him. She tittered as he helped her to her feet, making a rather obvious attempt to stumble and draping herself across his apprentice in the process. Charlie turned beet red and Willy saw red. Charlie was just a boy!
"OUT!" he roared, causing both Charlie and Ms. Weston to jump. The silly girl detached herself with a pout and slunk out of his office. Willy followed Charlie to the door and glared balefully at the women who were watching him with astonished expressions. He could see them assessing his disheveled appearance and was suddenly disgusted with the whole operation. "All of you," he said firmly. "Out."
Nodding at Charlie he turned away, straightening his clothes and leaving the group to be escorted out by his very capable apprentice.
"Ah...thank you all for coming today," Charlie began tentatively. "If you'll just come this way, we'll have a brief tour of the factory before you leave."
His very capable overachieving apprentice, Willy grumbled to himself. The tour had also been Charlie's idea and though Willy was looking forward to getting a better impression of each of the candidates, now he was glad that he had let Charlie do all the planning. He wanted nothing more to do with such a ridiculous group of women.
Charlie led the way down the hall into the factory, trying to collect himself. The interviews were a very, very bad idea, he decided. If only he hadn't let those newspapers draw their own conclusions about exactly what kind of 'assistant' Mr. Wonka was interested in! Glancing over his shoulder, he was pleased to see that Ms. Weston was at the back of the group and very clearly not interested in pursuing him as she'd pursued - no, attacked - Mr. Wonka.
He also noticed that there were only four people behind him.
Showing the ladies quickly into the Beverage Room, he instructed them to help themselves to the refreshments and hurried back the way he'd come. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the missing woman still inside the Cloak Room. About to call out to her, he hesitated in the doorway. This was the only woman who had not had a chance to be interviewed.
She was dressed more casually than the other women, in a simple blouse and vest with tennis shoes peeking traitorously from under her serviceable tan pants. She was nibbling at her bottom lip as she stepped slowly but determinedly towards the open door to Mr. Wonka's office.
"Mr. Wonka?" she asked uneasily from the doorway. Charlie edged into the room a bit so he could see what was happening. Inside his office, Mr. Wonka had slumped over his desk, his hands buried in his hair.
Without moving, he replied, "I thought I told you to get out." Charlie flinched at the mild tone which he knew barely masked an explosion.
"I...I would like my interview, sir," she said, politely but firmly. She sounded humble, something he would not have called any of the other applicants.
"I'm so sorry," came the completely unapologetic retort. "I don't care for the way interview is defined these days."
She stiffened. "Maybe you shouldn't print the instructions shiny golden paper if you don't want people to be blinded by it," she said curtly, spinning on her heel.
While Charlie was still trying to understand that cryptic reply, Mr. Wonka lifted his head from his hands and half-turned. "Ms. McCaine?" he called. "How did you find your 'shiny golden paper'?"
Ms. McCaine froze and her face flushed unexpectedly. After a moment of frantic silence, she squeaked something quickly and then stalked out of the office, past Charlie and into the hallway without pausing.
"What did she say?" Charlie asked, poking his head into the office curiously. Mr. Wonka had the most unusual expression on his face, a strange mix of puzzled bemusement and uncertain laughter.
He tilted his head to one side, looking a bit like a small child who had been given a nonsensical riddle to solve.
"She said...I think she said she took it from a gorilla."
Author's Note: If you have any suggestions or requests for things they might see in the factory, send them my way! It's hard to find the right combination of whimsical, unusual and a bit scary that is Wonka's factory.