A/N: Thank you to anyone still reading and to my Guest for reviewing the last chapter. It means a lot to me. In case you missed it, Chapter 9 was posted yesterday. Also, I just posted a one-shot called Target Practice that would be under the M rating filter if you're interested!

Chapter 10

"Things have been a little strange with Audrey," Jack told Dr. Trost. "We were supposed to go out on a date on Friday. But, I had to work so we didn't get to go."

"Was she mad?" Trost asked.

"She was mad because I didn't even remember that we were supposed to have a date that night."

"You forgot that you had a date with the woman you love?" Trost asked.

"It was a busy week," Jack offered as an explanation. "I mean, we rescheduled for this Friday but she seems indifferent about the whole thing now. I keep asking her what's wrong but she insists that she's fine."

"Were you excited for the date?" Trost questioned.

"Yes," Jack assured him. Dr. Trost raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, maybe I wasn't as excited about it as I should have been."

"Why not?"

"I don't know," Jack said, running his hand through his hair.

"You love her?"

"Yes," Jack insisted.

"And, you enjoy spending time with her?"

"Yes."

"And, you two are living together and are essentially acting like a couple," Trost pointed out. "So, what makes a date any different from what you two do on a regular basis?"

"Well, our son wouldn't be there," Jack stated. "And, I guess it feels more official. Like I have to impress her."

"Are you afraid that you won't?"

Jack shrugged. "Maybe."

Trost didn't ask a follow-up question to see how Jack continued.

"I feel like we won't have anything to connect over anymore," Jack admitted. "Besides our son. I feel like the only things I have to talk about are too dark for her. I'm afraid that I won't be able to give her the normal, happy relationship that she's looking for. I think she's looking for a bigger commitment than what I feel like I can give her right now."

"Okay. And, when you say she's looking for a bigger commitment, do you mean that she's looking to get married?" Trost asked.

"Maybe. I don't really know," Jack said.

"Well, has she hinted about that?" Trost questioned.

"No," Jack answered. "But, I know her. She's pretty traditional. She wouldn't want to have a baby with someone and not marry them."

"Have you ever considered marrying her before?"

Jack thought back for a moment. He supposed he had considered it back when they were dating before he had to fake his death, but never felt rushed to think about it, as she was already married at the time. He had never really thought he would marry someone else after Teri died but Audrey at least made him think about the prospect of marriage again. What he had determined, especially as he felt himself losing her that day, was that he did want to spend the rest of his life with her. Jack explained this to Trost.

"Do you still think about spending the rest of your life with her?"

"She's all I thought about in China. Dreaming of being with her again was the only thing that got me through it. A future with her is exactly what I wanted."

"Okay. But, that was a couple months ago," Trost reminded him. "I'm asking if, right now, you still think about spending the rest of your life with her."

Jack sighed. "I guess I hadn't thought about it. I feel like I'm just trying to get through each day. I haven't really thought much about the future."

Trost nodded. "And, that's okay. I don't think you should be putting all this pressure on yourself to think about the future just because she wants to have one real date with you."

Jack nodded. Trost could tell something else was on his mind. "What else is there to be nervous about?"

"I think she might want to have sex," Jack said, quietly.

"And, you're not comfortable with that?" Trost asked.

"I won't even get changed in front of her," Jack explained. "I don't want her to see the scars."

"Scars from China?" Trost questioned.

Jack nodded.

"Why don't you want her to see those?" Trost asked. "She does know about your time there. Right?"

Jack nodded. "Still. It's worse than I think she's expecting."

"What do you think her reaction would be?" Trost continued.

"She would be horrified. Disgusted, probably," Jack admitted.

"Horrified, maybe," Trost agreed. "You went through some horrific things. And, seeing that someone we love has gone through something terrible is definitely horrifying. But, disgusted? Why would she be disgusted?"

Jack shrugged. "I guess because she's seen me before. And, there's no way she will still find me attractive with these scars."

Trost seemed to think about that for a moment. "Audrey had a baby for the first time since the last time you slept together, right?"

"Well, yeah," Jack nodded, unsure of where this was going.

"Do you think she feels self-conscious of her body?" Trost questioned. "It's probably changed quite a bit since you last saw her."

"I don't know. No. Audrey is confident and she's still incredibly beautiful, if not more," Jack explained.

"You see her that way. Do you think she sees herself that way?" Trost asked.

Jack shrugged. "I guess not. She sometimes says stuff about her weight. She never used to before."

"Exactly," Trost said. "Just like Audrey is self-conscious, but you still find her to be attractive, why do you assume that she won't still find you attractive?"

"Because it's different. The scars are terrible," Jack protested. "Audrey is actually still perfect despite having our baby."

"Despite having your son?" Trost asked. "Or because she had your son?"

"What's the difference?" Jack asked, getting tired of this conversation.

"Do you think Audrey is more beautiful now despite having a baby? Or are you more attracted to her because she had a baby? Your baby."

Jack thought about the question for a while. "Because she had our baby. I think she is stronger than she ever has been and I find that attractive."

"So, don't you think that Audrey might see your scars and realize that they are a part of you? The man she loves. And, will find you attractive because of the strength the scars represent rather than in spite of the scars?"

Jack sighed and nodded. He sat for a while just thinking about it. "I still think she's going to cry."

Trost shrugged. "Maybe. I'm not saying it won't be emotional for her. And, for you. I'm just saying that she will still love you."

Jack left, feeling like he might want to show her on Friday.

On Thursday night, Jack and Audrey cuddled on the couch with their laptops after putting Jack Jr. to bed. They both were catching up on work.

"Are you going to be able to finish all those briefs by tomorrow?" Audrey asked, trying to get a sense if Jack was going to end up canceling on her again.

"Yep," Jack said, kissing her head. "That's why I'm working on them tonight."

Audrey smiled slightly. They both went silent again, allowing each other to get their work done, until finally, they both closed their laptops.

"Done?" Audrey asked.

"Yeah, you?"

Audrey nodded and they laid down together on the couch. Audrey rested her head on his chest.

"So, where do you think you want to eat tomorrow?" Audrey asked. "I can make a reservation."

Jack smiled. "Don't worry about any of it. I have everything worked out."

Audrey sat up slightly and looked at him questioningly. "You do?"

Jack nodded.

Audrey grinned, happy that he was excited enough about their date to plan everything. "Oh, nevermind then."

"You seem surprised," Jack commented.

Audrey shrugged. "To be honest, I didn't think you were that excited for our date."

"Of course I am," he assured her.

"Last week you didn't even remember," Audrey reminded him, trying not to sound hurt.

Jack sighed. "I'm sorry. I had a lot on my mind."

"Not anymore?" Audrey asked, rubbing his shoulder.

Jack shook his head but not incredibly convincingly. Audrey looked at him questioningly. Jack stroked her hair so that she'd go back to lying on his chest, where she couldn't look him in the eyes. Jack draped his arm around her so that it wouldn't be easy for her to simply turn and look at him again.

"I think I should explain tonight so that tomorrow isn't ruined," Jack suggested. Audrey didn't dare move and ruin this. She simply nodded and let him continue. "I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to talk about the things that happened in China but eventually you're going to see what they did to me. And, I've been afraid that you won't be able to handle it. That I'm not good enough for you anymore."

Audrey wanted to turn and look at him to tell him he was insane for thinking that, but thought better of it. She buried her face into him and hugged him. "Jack, how could you think that? You mean everything to me. I love you so much and nothing is ever going to change that."

Jack swallowed hard. He sat up, making Audrey sit up too. She was confused for a moment until she saw Jack stand, turn away from her, and start pulling off his shirt.

Jack could hardly breathe as he took off his shirt. He figured if she looked at the scars on his back first, he wouldn't have to see her reaction. Once the shirt was off, he listened for a response. Any kind of response. But, Audrey was so silent that he couldn't even hear her breathing.

Audrey covered her mouth when she saw the scars, not wanting him to hear her gasp. But, this was shocking. She knew he had been tortured in China but had no idea to what extent. Her heart broke thinking of them hurting him.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. She rested her head against his back. Jack could feel a tear drip from her face to his back.

"Pretty bad, huh?" Jack asked.

Audrey nodded and stepped back slightly, still speechless. She tapped Jack's side, urging him to turn around and face her. He did so reluctantly.

She didn't even take a moment to look at the scars across his chest and immediately hugged him. Jack hugged her back tightly.

"Are you okay?" Jack questioned, running his hand through her hair.

"Am I okay?" Audrey repeated. "This isn't about me, Jack. Are you okay?"

Jack nodded. Audrey traced one of the scars on his chest.

"I'm a little confused why you were afraid to show me," Audrey admitted. "You know I love you, right?"

Jack nodded. "I love you too. I just thought you'd be disgusted."

Audrey let out a humorless laugh and shook her head. "I'm not disgusted. I'm angry. I hate that you had to go through this. I hate that I couldn't help you. That anyone who could help you refused. You didn't deserve any of this."

"That's in the past now," Jack reminded her, sensing that she was beyond angry. "It's time to let it go."

Audrey looked back down at his chest and sighed. She knew he was right. They had to move forward. Audrey nodded in agreement.