Chapter 13

The next day, Jack fell asleep on the couch after having a busy day of taking Jack Jr. to the park, the toy store, and for a run around the block in his push car. The techniques Trost had suggested did seem to be helping him fall asleep, but staying asleep was still an issue since the nightmares of China were still prevalent. Audrey let him nap while she made dinner for them. Audrey put their dinner in the oven and then went to Jack Jr.'s room to play with him, until she heard screaming from the living room.

Audrey ran out of Jack Jr.'s bedroom at the commotion. Jack was screaming and thrashing around on the couch, only partially awake, but definitely dazed.

"It's okay, Jack," Audrey said as she ran in, trying to wake him. She could hear Jack Jr. crying because of the disturbance. Audrey stepped closer, trying to get him to hear her. As she moved within arms length, Jack was defensive in his panicked state and shoved Audrey away from him causing her to fall backwards onto the glass coffee table which collapsed beneath her. Jack jolted fully awake from the sound of the coffee table breaking and saw Audrey lying on the floor.

"Oh shit," he muttered, realizing that he must have done that when he was fighting off the guard in his nightmare. He kneeled down next to her. "Audrey."

"I'm okay," Audrey grimaced, trying to get up. Her back and shoulders hurt. Her forearms were bleeding from the glass that had cut her as she tried to break her fall. She sat up, just trying to get her bearings. She was shaking. She knew Jack hadn't meant to hurt her. But, she still felt shocked.

"I'm so sorry," Jack apologized. He felt disgusted with himself. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Audrey stood up and Jack tried to help her but was afraid to touch her. She brushed off the pieces of glass. She could hear Jack Jr. still crying.

"Can you go get him please?" Audrey asked Jack, as she assessed her forearm.

"You need a doctor," Jack said, feeling horrified.

"They're just scratches," Audrey tried to assure him. "Can you go get the baby?"

"I don't-" Jack started. "I don't think I should."

"I'm covered in glass," Audrey said, calmly. "I can't. Please go get him while I get some bandages."

Jack went into the baby's room. Jack Jr. was sitting in his crib, crying and reaching out for his dad.

"Dada," the boy cried, reaching for Jack. Jack touched his hands but was afraid to pick him up to comfort him.

"It's okay," Jack said, trying to comfort him. But, Jack Jr. continued to cry.

In the bathroom, Audrey cleaned up her scratches and put bandages on them. She hurried, hearing that Jack Jr. was still crying. She hoped Jack would quiet him down so she could clean up the glass in the living room and get herself some ice for her back and shoulders. But, the baby cried, and Audrey went to his room. She saw Jack standing over the baby, offering very little comfort.

"It's okay, buddy," Audrey comforted, picking him up out of his crib. "Everything's okay."

Jack Jr. cuddled into her shoulder and stopped crying. Audrey looked at Jack who was avoiding looking at her.

"Hey," Audrey said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jack recoiled at her touch. "Jack, I'm okay. It's fine."

Jack didn't respond.

"Why don't you go get some air? Take a walk?" Audrey suggested, understanding that Jack needed some space.

Jack sighed and went to leave. "I'm really sorry."

"I know, but you have nothing to be sorry about," Audrey said, trying to convince him. Jack just continued walking. She heard the front door shut behind him and sighed, knowing he would have a hard time forgiving himself for this.

Jack walked as far as he could away from the house. He didn't want to be near Audrey or his son. He was afraid of hurting them again. He wasn't in control of himself during his nightmares and he refused to put them through it again. Audrey was too blinded by love to realize that he was dangerous. He decided it was best if he just left.

As he walked further and further away, he realized he didn't have anywhere to go. It would take him some time to find an apartment. Not to mention he hadn't been in his job for too long. He had some money, but not enough to fund an apartment, a motel in the meantime, and transportation to work. He sighed, not knowing what to do.

Then it hit him. Marilyn! She had always offered to let him stay with her and Josh. He was sure that she would let him stay for a few days while he figured out an apartment. He took out his phone and dialed her number.

Soon, Marilyn arrived on the street he had told her and Jack got into her car. She drove away.

"What's going on, Jack?" Marilyn asked.

"You're sure it's alright if I stay with you for a few days?"

Marilyn put her hand on Jack's shoulder. "Of course. But, did something happen? Between you and Audrey?"

"We got in a fight," Jack lied, not wanting to admit that he had lost control and threw her viciously into a glass table.

"Are you sure you don't want to go back?" Marilyn probed.

Jack nodded. Marilyn drove Jack back to her house the rest of the way in silence.

Audrey called Jack for what felt like the hundredth time. After consoling Jack Jr., she had cleaned up the glass in the living room and waited for Jack to return so that she could once again try to assure him that she understood it was an accident. But, after a while she started wondering whether or not Jack was coming back. She called Kim who went out looking for him but had no luck. Audrey also drove around to find him, even driving to CTU to see if he had gone there, but again turning up nothing.

"Jack, please call me back," Audrey begged on his voicemail. "If you need more time alone, that's fine. But, I'm worried about you. Please just let me know you're okay. I love you."

Audrey hung up and cried.

Jack sat in the guest room of Marilyn's house with the lights on, thinking about his current predicament. Jack already missed Audrey and Jack Jr. but refused to ever put them in harm's way again. He would never fall asleep near them again.

Except he knew what would really happen. He would go to work on Monday morning and Audrey would be there waiting to talk to him. She would beg him to come home and convince him that she wasn't afraid of him, that he wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't be able to break up with her like he knew he had to. She would stare at him with her watery green eyes, asking him if that was really what he wanted, and he would relent, kissing her to tell her that he never wanted to leave her.

But, right now, as he sat here without her, his head was clear. He knew he had to end things with Audrey. Never see her, or their son, or Kim ever again. He was too dangerous. Too damaged.

He just didn't see how he could ever go through with breaking up with her, knowing how she would convince him against it. He sighed. He wished she could see it. How he was no good for her. He was dangerous and Audrey deserved so much better. He wished that there was a way to convince her to end things with him so that he didn't fail to break up with her.

There was a soft knock on the door, making Jack jump as he was torn from his thoughts. Marilyn popped her head in.

"Hey," she greeted. "I saw your light was still on and figured you must be awake. Is everything okay? Did you need anything?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I'm okay. Thanks."

Marilyn recognized that Jack looked distraught and sat next to him on the bed. "Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Audrey?"

Jack shook his head but got a sudden idea. "No, I don't really want to talk."

He leaned forward and kissed Marilyn, knowing that this was it. This would for sure cause Audrey to break up with him. Exactly what he needed.

Marilyn kissed him back passionately, feeling her heart soar with excitement. The kiss heated up and Marilyn was hopeful that this kiss would lead to more, but then Jack pulled away, looking even more sad than before.

"I-I'm sorry, Marilyn," Jack told her. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Please don't be sorry," Marilyn insisted. "That was nice."

Jack shook his head, feeling bad. He felt bad for leading her on as a way to get Audrey to end things, knowing full well that Marilyn had feelings for him. "No, I should be clear. I love Audrey. I'm sorry."

Marilyn felt a pang in her chest. "I know. But, maybe after you heal from whatever happened between you two we can try again."

Jack didn't have time to respond and tell her that he would never be with her because Marilyn had slipped out of the room.

Sunday morning, Jack decided to bite the bullet. He went back home and knocked on the door.

"Jack!" Audrey cried in relief, hugging him. Jack didn't hug her back. She ushered him inside, but Jack stayed rooted to the door frame. "I was so worried about you. How about I make something to eat and then you can get some rest. Jack Jr. is at Kim's."

"Audrey," Jack whispered. "I can't stay."

"Don't be ridiculous. I know you blame yourself for what happened yesterday, but it was an accident. Now I know not to get too close during a nightmare-"

"It's hard not to get close during a nightmare when I sleep right next to you," Jack reminded her.

Audrey stepped forward and held Jack by the shoulders. "Jack, I need you to forgive yourself. We need to move past it. It was an accident. I love you so much and I'm going to help you through this. I promise."

"Audrey, we can't be together," Jack told her, hoping she would agree so he didn't have to tell her about kissing Marilyn. If he could save her from that pain, he would.

Audrey looked up at him with her watery green eyes, just like Jack knew she would.

"You don't really want that, Jack. Do you?" Audrey asked.

This was the point where Jack would have given in and told her that no, he really didn't want that.

"I kissed Marilyn," Jack said, sealing the argument. He watched as Audrey's face dropped and her eyes left his. He watched her purse her lips together in an attempt not to cry. He wanted to apologize but couldn't take the risk that she might actually forgive him.

"Why?" Audrey whispered, in a voice so low that Jack barely heard her.

"It doesn't matter," Jack told her. The fact was that he had kissed Marilyn, effectively cheating on Audrey and she needed to end things with him.

"It matters to me," Audrey insisted, wiping away a tear.

Jack shrugged, knowing he had to lie. She was looking for a reason to forgive him. "I guess there's still something there. You were right."

"You should go."

Jack nodded and turned to walk down the driveway.

"What about Jack Jr.?" Audrey asked suddenly, tears already starting to fall down her cheek. Jack turned back to face her.

"I think it's best if I don't see him again either," Jack told her.

"No," Audrey cried. "You can't do that to him. Come into his life and just leave like that. He loves you."

"He's better off with just you," Jack insisted. He saw the way she was crying and wanted to console her. He hated making her feel this way. He walked away before he could change his mind.

When Audrey slammed the door, she fell into racking sobs. She couldn't believe Jack had kissed Marilyn. At first, she thought she might forgive him. He had been in a panic and she could get around something he had done in a panicked state. But, he said that he actually had feelings for her, which was unacceptable to Audrey. She cried hysterically.

She was still crying several hours later when Kim brought Jack Jr. home.

"Audrey?" Kim asked, surprised to see her like this. "What happened? Is everything okay? Is my dad okay?"

Audrey nodded. "He's safe. We broke up."

Kim took Jack Jr. to his crib so that she could console Audrey. Kim sat with Audrey and rubbed her back as she cried. She asked what happened but Audrey gave vague answers, not wanting to vilify Jack in any way to his daughter.

"You two will make up," Kim told her. "I know you will. You two are meant to be together."

Audrey shook her head. "It's over, Kim. It's really over."