Waking up was a hard work, like pulling a heavy cart behind him while climbing a mountain.
Don't move... Don't move...
It's not her who Kain saw when he finally surfaced to weary bones and exhausted muscles of his body.
Ciri was sleeping sitting up in the foot of his cot.
It had to be going on for a long time - he felt numb from lying in the same position.
"I hope it won't become a habit," he said when she stirred, as well. "You keeping watch at my dying bed. The tendency is becoming alarming."
Ciri felt elated at hearing the sound of his voice but she wasn't sure her sleepy expression quite managed to convey that. "Stop dying and I'll stop watching you in bed."
She sat up and rubbed her neck, gently moving out from under his legs. "How are you feeling?"
"I never tried to die, princess. Nor am I going to start any time soon."
He took a deep breath, wincing subtly at some distant inner reminders where he had been stabbed. He assumed Mousesack took care of the most damage, if Kain was still alive.
"I feel like I've been building this keep stone by stone all night by myself. I have to get outside."
"Want to take the quick route?" she offered, extending him her hand. "The one where you won't bump into people and their questions? You should probably put your shirt back on though. It's not exactly warm out."
"I don't mind people," he said, sitting up cautiously. His head swam, vision darkened for a long moment before it came right. "Got some to thank."
He glanced at the Cat School jerkin, dark with blood, and reached for the Skelligan jacket, putting it on without the shirt.
"I'll be needing a new shirt, it seems," he said, fastening the jacket's straps.
"I'd offer to make you one, but I'm afraid that is not where my talents lie. Yennefer might be willing, though. Or Triss." Ciri got to her feet and picked up the empty mug, bracing herself for the world beyond this room now she no longer had an excuse to hide here.
"There might be some in the chests with new armor sets in the armory. I'll stop by there." Kain looked at her inquiringly. "You're coming, too? You should get more sleep. Actually lying down this time. Is your neck all right?"
Ciri hesitated a moment. "Yes, you are probably right. I should go sleep."
It would give her yet another hour of avoidance, of which she was becoming an expert. She headed for the door, paused as she reached it.
"The funerals will be tonight after dark," she said, just so he was aware.
She headed across the hall to her own room.
"Ah, our youth has recovered," Zoltan announced as Kain strolled through the kitchen where most of their troops had settled for a snack and rest. "How ye feelin, kitten-lad?"
"Planning on getting better than just walking without tripping," he said, his eyes flicked to the Druid. He understood without a word and went for the door. Kain made to follow.
"And Ciri? You seen her?" Geralt asked.
"She agreed to take a nap," he said from the doorway. "She looked like she needed it."
The Witcher nodded, and Kain followed Mousesack outside. The yard was empty, except for Hjalmar and Roche dragging the fallen hunters' bodies out, one by one. Each was too heavy for one.
"Thank you for patching me up," Kain told the Druid.
"Don't mention it. I only did a little. The rest you did yourself. How you feeling now?"
"I need to heal, but out there," he jerked his chin toward the woods. "Lying in bed never does it for me."
"I know, I know," he nodded, stroking his beard. "Druid way. It runs deep in you. Other witchers are in the woods, collecting wood for pyres. It shall be a sad goodbye."
Kain looked under his feet, feeling a pang of guilt. He still remembered in all the highlighted detail how Vesemir died. And then…
He looked up to Mousesack, frowning. "What happened in the end? We lost the battle. We should all be dead."
He sighed, his face expressing a brief struggle to formulate the answer. "The girl, Cirilla. Her power took over when she reached the depth of despair. Like her late mother, she has the ability to destroy everything around her in a sort of trance. It comes at the peak of emotion, dark emotion. She couldn't stop herself and we'd all be dead, indeed, had her elvish mentor not stepped in to calm her. It's why she needs him close. No one else can do it for her."
Kain nodded pensively, mulling it over, thinking of the horrid shriek he recalled last. It was her, all along. "No one can be given a power they cannot control," he reasoned. "She should know how to do it."
"Of course she has to know, but she does not, for no training reached success before. See, my boy, one cannot train another to use a power one never knew or possessed. It takes inner knowledge of the said power to teach another one to wield it.
"Now, go ahead, take your healing time. We shall all be ready for the nightfall."
He went back to the keep, and Kain strolled for the stables to borrow a horse.
In a couple more hours, they had managed to clean out all the Hunt bodies from the keep – they piled them up outside in three of the pits Roche and Ves had prepared and the sorceresses set them on fire that reduced them to ashes that they had buried there beneath the dirt.
Lambert and Eskel had finished with the wood – Hjalmar had helped – and they were left with the sad task of preparing the bodies for the pyres. The sun had begun to recline already.
Kain returned looking a bit fresher, his hair damp from what Geralt assumed a lake's water. He brought some fish, and Zoltan made a stew someone in Novigrad taught him a while back. Geralt himself had taken a lazy old man's way instead of the cold lake, and taken Yennefer up on her offer for a warm bath while Yennefer herself had enjoyed a short nap.
Despite having a break, the inner strain didn't let go just yet. They all were bracing for the goodbye moment.
Ciri managed to get some sleep on and off, but mostly the tension was just too great.
When the sun finally started to shift in the sky, she plucked up her courage and made her way up to Avallac'h's tower. She knocked on the door.
"Come in, Zireael," he called from within, and she obeyed, closing the door behind her again and rested her back against it.
The Sage had been standing near the window, watching the preparations down below. He turned to her, looking a little more tired than usual. For a long moment, they just stared at one another. Then, he opened his arms wide.
She went to him, wrapped her arms around his waist and let him embrace her in return, his fingers playing with her hair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"You may have disobeyed my orders, but what happened out there was not your fault. You know this, yes?"
She had expected something entirely different from him. She had expected sternness and to be chided, to have him rub her failure in her face. The softness of his voice broke her. She pressed her face to his chest.
"Come now," he soothed, one hand cradling the back of her head. "Do not cry, me elaine luned."
"Don't call me that," she sniffled into the front of his robes. "That's what he calls me."
Avallac'h was silent a moment. "Do not cry, me beag beann'shie."
She snorted with mild amusement. "Banshee? Really?"
"You scream like a whole pack of them," he replied and she could tell his voice was laced with good-natured ribbing.
She pulled back to look at him and smiled ever so slightly. A smile he returned. He wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb, then gestured for the door. "Let us go downstairs together. I believe the ceremony for our fallen allies will begin shortly."
She nodded, swallowing thickly as they started walking.
"Have courage, Zireael. You are not alone."
Kain helped Geralt and Eskel carry the bodies to the pyre wood piles outside the keep. It was a beautiful spot they chose, on a cliff under a tree.
Vesemir was sharing his last bed with Coen. Both looked peacefully asleep. The pyre next to them was for the fallen Skelligans. Hjalmar stood next to it, head lowered, muttering something akin to prayer.
"I'll go see where Ciri is," Geralt said.
Kain nodded, and stayed by Vesemir and Coen's side. He peered from their bodies to the scenery below. The sky was beginning to turn purple.
Geralt found Ciri in the main hall, strolling toward the door with Avallac'h beside her, both looking solemn.
He spared the Sage a nod and focused on Ciri.
"How do you feel? Have you slept? Kain said you were going to."
"A little," she replied. "Not sure I'll be able to fully until after…" Ciri gestured towards the doors and outside. "You? Got some rest?"
He nodded. "We all did what we could." He regarded her. "Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be." Meaning it was likely she never would. But that did not matter. The world did not come to a halt just because she wished it to.
She headed for the door with Geralt, pausing when she noticed Avallac'h was not following. "Coming?"
"In a bit," he said "These were your people. These are your customs, not mine. I shall honor their sacrifice in my own way."
She had no idea what that meant, so she simply nodded and proceeded out to the courtyard.
Geralt accompanied her to the cliff, then halted. "Are you going to be fine? I'll get the others. Kain is there." He waved a hand toward the pyres.
"Of course I will be," she assured him, patting him once on the shoulder before setting off towards the ominous pyres that loomed like threatening shadows.
She inhaled sharply when she got a good look at Vesemir and Coen's faces, so pale and lifeless they almost looked unrecognizable.
Kain turned to her footfalls shuffling against the fallen leaves. He stepped back from the wooden pedestal toward her.
"I'm sorry it came to this. Wish I could've done more."
"More than saving most of my friends' lives?" she asked with a small smile. "Now who is being hard on himself?"
She tentatively reached out to straighten the medallion around Vesemir's neck, eyes prickling with tears.
"It doesn't feel real."
"It won't for a while."
It did look real - there was no life in the bodies, no light left. But it felt painful to look at them. Especially for someone who grew up under their care.
"I've seen a lot of people die. But never anyone I was this close to. My mother died when I was a baby, so I don't remember. And I never got to see my grandmother's body. This is… different."
"Everything is different when you care. But nothing disappears for good. What they taught you will live in you and all of us for as long as we remember. A weak solace for you right now, but it's there, nonetheless."
"Yes," Ciri agreed, on both counts. She took the time to stroke Vesemir's hand, then turned to Coen, gently pushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead.
Kain studied her back for a moment. "You can't blame yourself for this, you know. They chose to fight for you. Because they cared."
"I know. And I am very grateful for what they've done, what they continue to do." Ciri looked to him over her shoulder. "That includes you, by the way. But you can't deny they would not have to fight this battle had it not been for me in the first place. I can't help but feel responsible. Just by existing."
"You exist for a reason, Ciri. You wouldn't, otherwise. Nor would you have your power. This world needs you the way you are. And they understood it. So should you."
She nodded. "I would just like for that reason to be something other than being used for breeding."
A jolt of cold recognition thrust through his spine. "What… Is that their goal? To claim your child? What can a child do for them?"
She sighed. "Well, the Aen Elle claims my human forefather stole the Elder Blood from them. They wanted me to give them a child, so they could reclaim it. The Lodge of Sorceresses wanted to whore me out to a prince, become his mistress and have his child, to secure their position at court. And Vilgefortz, the mage, wanted to impregnate me so he could draw blood from the fetus and inject himself with it." She paused, eyeing the darkening skyline. "As for Eredin… I think he simply wants to use my power to allow him and his riders to travel the worlds again."
That was sickening. And a tiny bit of familiarity made it sicker for him.
"These three sorceress helping you. Aren't they from the Lodge? If the Lodge is helping anyone, there is a price good enough for them to bother."
"The Lodge does not really exist anymore as far as I understand. Most of the previous members have been executed. Yennefer lost their favor long ago, and I suppose she has not been a member since I was a child. As for Triss and Keira… I trust the former, not so much the latter."
"The Lodge will exist for as long as at least two or three of them breathe. They will always try to get their power back. Be careful with them. They're watching you and assess their advantages at all times."
"I am aware." Though Ciri doubted at least Triss would ever try to use her to gain more power. And Yennefer… out of the question. She had never had any such motives. "Have you any experience with them?"
"My mother made it very clear when I was a child. I never forgot."
Geralt appeared with the raven-haired sorceress in tow.
"We shall begin," he said.
The rest of the people were slowly gathering around the pyres.
Yennefer moved to stand beside Geralt, taking an immediate hold of his hand as she joined the gathering circle of friends preparing to say their final goodbyes to their fallen comrades. Happy at least that Ciri appeared to have found someone to comfort her, as well, and that he was on his feet. The next few minutes was going to be hard on everyone.
"Made what very–" Ciri fell silent when Geralt and Yennefer joined them, pushing down her curiosity to focus on the moment.
People gathered around the two pyres. Mousesack was carrying a lit torch which he offered to Geralt before he turned to the rest. "Does anyone wish to say a few words?"
Ciri didn't. Couldn't. Had no idea what she would even say.
"There is no Kaer Morhen without Vesemir," Eskel said. "And Coen..." He sighed and shook his head slowly.
Lambert merely pressed his lips together, looking at the fallen witchers. Keira stood next to him, also looking sad.
"Vesemir was one of the best of us," Letho drawled from behind the main row. "I didn't know Coen, but he seemed an all right guy."
"Cryin shame about all those we lost, aye..." Zoltan said. "Brave witchers along with valiant Skelligan brothers. Rest easy now, lads... Rest easy."
"We never mourn a valiant death in battle where I'm from," Hjalmar said. "It's the greatest honor of all. They all share it. They all shall honor the gods tonight. Hail great warriors."
"Vesemir was a great teacher," Kain said. "One that made me wish at times I were a Wolf. Coen's bravery and will to fight till the end no matter the wounds is admirable. A true Wolf from under Vesemir's wing."
"A true man of honor whose strength and knowledge will be missed tremendously," Triss interjected quietly, tears in her green eyes as she stepped up beside Geralt on his other side. Her hand came to rest on his elbow, as though she wanted to touch him, to hug him, perhaps, but didn't know how to do that within the situation, settling for his closeness. "He'll be forever within our hearts and minds."
With this she looked at Geralt, a silent 'I'm here for you if you need it', a sentiment Yennefer echoed by squeezing his hand gently and then releasing him so that he could get on with it, so that he could take the step forward without his mentor and take over as he now would have to. He was the next in line for that position and Vesemir had been molding him for it for some time now, even going so far as to let him take the lead on most things.
Ciri wrapped her arms around herself, gaze fixed on Vesemir's face as the others said their goodbyes and honored the fallen with their words. She wondered if Vesemir would be disappointed in her for not speaking. But then she decided, no, he would not have been. He knew what was in her heart. He knew how much she loved him.
She moved a little closer to Kain, shoulder to shoulder, taking comfort in his presence and proximity. And for once she was not ashamed of the tears that silently ran down her cheeks, only wiping them away once they collected underneath her chin.
The torch weighed a ton in his hand when Geralt approached the pyre along with Hjalmar who went to his people's one.
The Witcher couldn't believe it was Vesemir lying before him with no life left in his body, still so strong and trained. He couldn't believe Coen didn't make it, either. And yet, his eyes saw it for what it was.
Geralt let out a long exhale, searching himself for strength to raise the hand and do what was needed.
"I'll remember everything you taught me and the sacrifice you made," he murmured. "I'll carry it with me always. Goodbye, my friends. Thank you."
He took another breath and put the fire to the wood. It crackled, grew brighter as he slowly backed away. He saw Ciri's face, wet with tears, her shoulder pressing into Kain as if she would fall without him.
"Don't blame yourself," he reminded her in a soft voice.
"I won't," she breathed, though it was easier said than done. "I blame Eredin Bréacc Glas." And she couldn't wait to get the opportunity to drive her sword through his heart.
The fire roared to life atop the pyres, making those of them who stood closest squint against the brightness and heat it exuded. She reluctantly tore her gaze away to search the small crowd at her side. Avallac'h was nowhere in sight. She wondered what he was doing.
Yennefer wanted nothing more than to go up behind Geralt, to slide her arms around his waist, and yet, she knew he needed this solitude for himself, that he needed to grieve the loss of his mentor and not have to figure out what comfort she was trying to provide when he hardly understood it.
Only Triss had no such issue.
She immediately took the opportunity to press herself to his side once the fire had been lit, to grapple hold onto his arm as if he were the only living human alive to anchor her.
"I can't believe he's gone," she murmured, her voice cracking with the first signs of tears. Yennefer stepped out of the way of where they were, watching as the fire steadily consumed the fallen, feeling a bane of something within herself that was akin to grief.
She'd never been particularly close to anyone that died, but seeing how broken her family was, how distressed they were was enough to hit her in places that usually stayed untouched.
She was just happy that they had someone to give them what was needed in this time.
Ciri especially. Yennefer had never seen her connect with anyone as well as she appeared to be with Kain. Not on an emotional or even dependent level outside of their circle.
Ciri forced her eyes off Vesemir's face, didn't want to see it charred and burned, and focused on the medallion on his chest instead. Something came over her all of a sudden, a need to not let him go, to not let him disappear from her life completely. Memories and lessons learned were not enough.
She rushed forward and reached for the medallion, yanking it off and out of the fire. The metal was hot and burned her hand, but it didn't matter. She squeezed the Wolf tightly in her fist. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to the old witcher, then walked away, unable to watch as the flames devoured him whole.
Geralt's heart contracted in pained sympathy, going out to Ciri as she clutched the medallion in her hand; her fist shook a little. He reckoned she burned it badly. He didn't move to stop her as she walked away. She needed a moment.
Kain was watching her go, too.
"Va faill," Avallac'h's calm voice came from behind Geralt's shoulder as if he grew out of thin air. "For those who remain death can never take precedence over life. Pay your last respects to your fallen comrades, and then we should hold council."
This time Geralt heard him walk away. He didn't care for it. The orange brightness of the pyre glistened and swelled as his eyes welled up with tears.
Triss squeezed his arm gently, then began to walk away, as well. Probably following the Sage and Yennefer with Ciri.
Yennefer's gaze fixated on Ciri, on her display of emotion, and followed her as she ran away. Yennefer waited a beat, giving her space, and then went after her.
Ciri let her fist fall to her side as she headed down the slope towards the keep, still clutching the burning hot amulet that made her feel like she had just been branded.
She didn't enter the keep but came to a halt on a grassy patch atop a cliff overlooking the valley below Kaer Morhen, eyes set on the mountains in the distance.
She could hear footsteps following behind her but didn't turn to look.
As soon as Yennefer saw her stop, she watched her girl for a while, leaving her to her thoughts for about a minute, letting her come to terms with what none of them could change.
Yennefer wished she could, though, that she could go back in time and fix this for Ciri, do this fight smarter and, perhaps, with more force.
But it was what it was.
No matter how many times they changed it up, it wasn't going to get any easier. The outcome could even be worse.
After the brief moment had passed, Yennefer walked up behind her, circled her arms around Ciri's shoulders from behind, and drew her back against her, just standing, enjoying the peace provided by the breeze and trying to shower her with the only comfort that the sorceress could. Herself.
Ciri tensed slightly when a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, until she recognized Yen. She didn't speak and Ciri was glad for it. She didn't know what to say, anyway.
Ciri leaned back against her, letting the sorceress support her.
More people were coming. Ciri supposed not everyone wanted to stay and watch until the end. It would take a long time.
Yennefer buried her face against ashen hair when Ciri relaxed against her, standing like that for a long time, feeling as though it was just them on the edge of the world.
And for right now, with what was to be expected to come, it made a lot more sense.
Their battle wasn't over.
Triss came after Avallac'h, and while the Sage picked a spot to stand like a statue, she settled on a huge boulder rock.
"Does any of you remember what happened after Eredin and his knights breached into the inner courtyard?" Avallac'h folded his arms, observing them all in turn.
"I'm… not so sure," Triss ventured shyly. "It's like a strange dream… all's in bits and pieces."
Avallac'h looked to Yennefer, then back to Triss, and nearly rolled his eyes.
"Zireael can harness incredible amounts of the Power. Why has no one taught her to control it?"
"Avallac'h…" Ciri sighed, briefly closing her eyes. "This is not the time for this."
"Now is not the time to be discussing this," Yennefer repeated, tightening her hold on Ciri to let her know that she was here for her girl and would back up any decision. "We're grieving, Elf. I know your kind doesn't take lightly to said emotion but some of us need it to be able to function." And it wasn't herself she was referring to. "You can give us a few more minutes."
"I'm afraid there are not much minutes," Avallac'h said in his calm, unperturbed voice. "If you think this is over and Eredin shall rethink his ambitions – you're deadly wrong."
Geralt sighed, clearly annoyed, as he and Kain walked toward them.
"We thought you have been teaching Ciri," Triss said.
"I could only do so much on the constant run," he said. "But those of you who have been with her from the child years – whatever you tried to teach her was to no avail."
"Avallac'h," Geralt called, drawing the Elf's attention from the riled up sorceresses. "I never had a chance to talk to you after the battle. I thank you for your help and for looking after Ciri."
The Elf's face didn't express any shift of emotion. "You can thank me later. Now we must take Zireael from here and hide her. And then gather a greater force."
Ciri stood by herself to the side, enveloped in her grief, the chain of the medallion still hanging between her fingers. Kain stopped a few feet short, giving her space while he listened to their council.
"But how can we?" Triss spread her arms, baffled. "Anyone, everyone we could ever count on, came here to Kaer Morhen. There is no one else we could ask. Nowhere else to go."
And they were back to not paying attention to what Ciri said.
She opened her burned hand and peered down at the mark the medallion had left behind, trying to let the pain steady her emotions, to ground her.
It did not have much of an effect.
Yennefer knew that Eredin was going to come back for them, and that time was limited, but despite what she thought, and even if she agreed with him, Ciri needed this time for peace.
Unfortunately, it didn't last long, and everyone else had appeared, as well.
"Philippa Eilhart, Margarita Laux-Antille and Francesca Findabair." Just a few names.
"The lodge?" Triss asked, recognition dawning on her features as she looked at Yennefer.
"We need magic. A lot of magic and the best way to do that is to unite with our enemies."
That was a grave suggestion. From the corner of his eyes, Geralt noticed even Kain turn to cast a dumbfounded eye at them.
"I don't trust the Lodge one bit," Geralt said, and shook his head. "But it seems like we truly have no choice."
Kain stepped closer to Ciri, held out his hand in the direction of her hurt one. "Let me help with that?"
She fastened Vesemir's medallion to her belt, looking up when Kain approached. She smiled ever so slightly and hid her hand behind her back, as if it would make him forget it. "Later. For right now, it's helping me."
He didn't argue, though doubted it helped anything.
"You do realize, however, that if the Lodge even considers helping us with this, they would demand a price," Geralt reasoned, looking between Yennefer and Triss. "What would you think this price can be? It has been very obvious for quite some time what they want."
"I don't trust them either, but sometimes we have to open the doors to our enemies in order to succeed. If this battle and what we've lost had taught us anything, then it's that we need magic, a lot of it – and they have it."
"I'll go with you," Triss volunteered.
Yennefer turned to address her, surprised she didn't have any more to add.
"I even had a few more names we can add to that list."
Yennefer nodded, taking a closer step to the circle. "We should go as soon as."
"What they want, they can't have," Ciri reminded them all over her shoulder, in case they had forgotten. "Don't make them promises I don't intend to keep."
"No one will promise anything of sorts," Geralt said, turning to Ciri. "Whatever they want from you is out of the question." He turned to Yennefer and Triss. "Are we clear about this?"
"Never," Yennefer said. They'd be coming at their own accord for negotiations that had very little to do with Ciri herself. "I'll make sure that it's clear."
"Gods, Geralt, of course we know," Triss said. "And of course we will always protect her. You know that. Ciri," she turned to Ciri. "You know this, right, my dear girl?"
"I know," she said, turning back to Kain again. "It's them I don't trust."
Yennefer glanced at Triss, gauging her past decisions, and then walked over to Geralt. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, murmuring that she wouldn't be far off and would send for him as soon as she had news, and then moved to do the same with Ciri.
As much as the sorceress wanted to be here for them, there wasn't much time to waste.
Kain felt very much out of place while they discussed their further strategies. A part of him kept wondering why he was still there.
"This is a fair suggestion," Avallac'h said eventually. "We do need a lot of magical help. Sole violence and swords don't do much to the kind of threat we are facing. Aen Elle are the people of magic as much as sword."
"All right," Geralt said. "But we have to be careful with them. We can't let our guard down, no matter what they would say. We cannot trust them. We should know better."
Ciri trusted Yennefer with the negotiations much more than she did Triss. It was not that Ciri thought Triss didn't have her best interests at heart, but the chestnut-haired sorceress had never been able to stand up to the Lodge the same way Yennefer had.
Ciri hugged Yen when she came to her, and whispered into her hair. "Be careful. And take care of yourself."
"We should start training as soon as possible," Avallac'h said. "Zireael has to learn how to control her abilities. We cannot afford something like that… incident to happen again."
Geralt scowled, casting a quick glance at Ciri. "That training really that necessary?"
"You might have not seen what happened," Avallac'h said. "An outburst of Power that mighty could be a greater threat than the Hunt itself can present."
The Witcher hated it, but couldn't disagree. "Fine. Then we should stay here a while longer. Yennefer, you and Triss go to Novigrad, and then we'll join you and meet at Dandelion's inn."
"We'll meet you there," Yennefer confirmed, stepping back from the group, heading into the keep to gather what meagre belongings she wanted for this trip, and then made quick work of getting to Novigrad.
Ciri's ire rose the more she heard Avallac'h talking and suddenly she was before him in a flash of green, bumping into him just enough to make him stumble ever so slightly, forcing him to acknowledge her. "Stop talking about me as though I am not here," she demanded through gritted teeth. "And if you think you can prepare me to feel nothing next time someone I love dies, you are wasting your time."
Avallac'h raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't what I said, Zireael. Nor what I implied. All I suggest is to train you and teach you control. You do need it. Everybody around you needs it – it's their safety I implore you to remember of. Do you disagree?"
"Then what are you going to do, hm? How are you going to help me when you have no idea what it feels like?" She stared him down, looking at him so intently she suddenly felt a pang of guilt. She took a step back to not invade his space anymore, trying to calm that temper of hers. "I'm sorry, I… You have a great deal of knowledge, Avallac'h, I will grant you that. And I know you were made for Lara. The perfect match of powers and knowledge. With her I am sure things would have been different. Easier. But I am not her. And there is no teaching me control, when I cannot use my powers to practice. We will have, what? Two days? Three before it becomes a real concern The Hunt will try again? There is not enough time."
"If you will waste your time thinking there is no time left – then there is no point in anything, is there?" Avallac'h said. "Instead of lamenting over what you cannot change, get yourself together and try to do what you can. For your friends if not for yourself."
"I have been trying!" she all but shouted at the elf. "For two whole years that is all we have been doing! And the only time we saw the tiniest of improvement was when we were in a world where Eredin could not follow. So what, pray tell, has changed now?"
Avallac'h stared at her for a long time, either contemplating or merely waiting to see whether her temper would cool down on its own. There was nothing on his face to suggest his true intentions for the pause.
"Very well, then," he said finally with a pensive nod. "That means hiding and running is the only option you support. We can do that. For as long as it takes. But we must leave immediately."
"Are you serious?" Geralt demanded, glancing wildly between them. "Our friends just died. Let her mourn in peace."
"We have no luxury of time, Gwynbleidd," Avallac'h said. "Zireael has just pointed that out."
Lost in this state of anger and grief, Ciri did not particularly care how much sense the Elf made. Oh, how pragmatic he was being. "If it comes to that, I shall go on my own. Without you. For as you just pointed out, I am a danger to everyone."
She turned on her heel and strode back for the keep, Vesemir's medallion swinging at her hip.
"Ciri! Dammit." Geralt looked from Ciri's retreating back to Avallac'h impassive face, his own darkening in anger. "Why would you do this now? I asked you to let her be for just a bit."
"And I have explained that no one shall wait for her or any bits," he responded serenely. "It is not me who is the problem here, Gwynbleidd. It is those who do not care about your grief. Those who shall strike while you're at your weakest. Believe me when I tell you that Eredin knows perfectly how unprepared you all are right now after the battle and losses. He shall not be kind."
Geralt made to go past him, but he caught the Witcher's arm.
"Not now," he said. "There is no use to speak to her now. She will not think clearly. Let her be alone. We will talk later." He turned and began to walk away.
"Don't worry about her," Triss said, slipping off the rock she had been sitting on quietly like a mouse, and came to him, snuggling up to his side in support. "You know our Ciri, she has a temper. She will be fine in an hour. Avallac'h might be right on this." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "I shall go get my things. Yen and I are departing."
"Good luck," he said, squeezing a small smile out for her sake. "Thank you for everything."
She beamed. "I'll always help you. You know that, Geralt. See you soon." With a parting smile, she left.
"You know it's all horseshit what he said," Kain spoke. Geralt almost forgot he was still there, arms folded. It was already dark, and if not for his hair, he could be nearly invisible. "He can't tell you what to do or not to do for Ciri when you know it in your gut. Whose gut will you trust, Geralt? When would you ever trust anyone else with someone you love?"
Geralt watched him stroll away, speechless.
Then he went to Ciri's room, hoping to find her there or on his way.
Ciri heard Geralt call out for her but did not stop. She couldn't stay there any longer with all of them watching her. It was too much.
She moved to the inner courtyard of the keep, but instead of going inside the castle itself, she veered to the right. Last night this place had been riddled with portals and enemies, but now it was empty once more. If not for the trampled grass, you could not have told something had happened here.
She jumped up on the beams where she used to train as a child, pushing her whole body against the heavy wooden pendulum whose purpose it was to knock her off her stance.
She drew her sword and closed her eyes, going over the routines the Witchers had taught her as a child, one by one, incorporating her powers of speed and movement to fight her imaginary enemies. It had a more calming effect than she could have hoped for.
Geralt found her practicing with the pendulum. It was an almost unreal sight, and yet deeply, gut-wrenchingly familiar. He didn't want to disturb her at once, and leaned against the wall to watch, to give her a chance to calm down and sense his presence.
She took full advantage of her power, practically no more than a green blur with a glint of steel. Who knew how long it would be until she could truly be herself again once they left here?
She didn't know how long she stayed up there, but when she finished, her sword-wielding arm had started to feel sore. She sheathed her weapon and opened her eyes, catching sight of Geralt watching her from a short distance away.
She leapt off the beams in a backflip like they had always demanded, and landed nimbly on her feet. "You angry?" she asked eventually, keeping her back to him under the pretense of adjusting her armor.
He pondered this. "No, anger doesn't quite describe it. What it is close to is an utter devastation at having to lose you again, and this time – who knows. Might be forever. Vesemir, Coen and all of us have been fighting to prevent it from happening again."
He heaved a sigh, and detached from the wall. He felt a bit numb, as if his heart was already falling to be shattered in a few moments. Geralt couldn't believe it even more than Vesemir's death hours ago. It was all a nightmare, one of those to torture him so many nights.
"It's not about me or any of us, though," he heard himself say. "It's your choice. No one can stop you. Have you decided?"
She pursed her lips because she could feel them trembling. Like she was about to cry. Ciri had been doing that a lot today. "If I was brave I would go. I would leave this world and go to another. Make the jump every other day to sufficiently scramble The Hunt's signals. They would chase me through the universe — but away from here. This world would be safe. From them at least.
"But I am not brave, Geralt. I am frightened. I don't want to be alone again."
"Ciri," he said quietly, unable to put every bit of heart-wrenching love he had for her into the sound of her name coming off his tongue, but wishing, nonetheless. "You don't ever need to be alone. Ever. Not while I live."
He came up behind her, locking his arms gently around her, nuzzling into the side of her head, his eyes closing. He wished to never let her go and forever keep her in his embrace safe from harm.
"You don't have to be alone. You always have me. Always."
Ciri exhaled a sigh of relief the moment his arms wrapped around her and she leaned back into him, knowing he would be able to support her weight with ease. "I don't want to run anymore. I don't want to hide. It's killing me. I need to fight."
"We'll fight," he said into her hair. "We'll do whatever it takes to free you from them. But to do that, we have to work on some defenses. This battle has taught us some things. We have to regroup and do it smarter next time. We know now what we lack. We shall do our best to take Eredin down once and for all. I promise. You don't have to run. But practicing would not be amiss. Avallac'h is harsh due to his… character. But he's not entirely wrong about training. If the Hunt already knows where to find you, then you might as well learn how to use your gifts. In whatever time we have left while they regroup."
"Yes," she breathed, suddenly very tired. "It would be immensely satisfying to kill Eredin with what he most desires."
"Before we kill, you must rest. Actually rest, Ciri. Have a good sleep. Some of our guests are leaving as soon as the dawn breaks, so you must take your chance and ask Mousesack for the herbs to aid your sleep."
She nodded, a little reluctant to open up to the Druid, wishing she could have recruited Yennefer's help with this instead. But she supposed Mousesack would not need to know all the dirty little details in order to help her sleep. "Alright. Sleep first, kill later."
"Yes, in that order," he smiled and let her go reluctantly, turned her around in his arms and kissed her forehead. "As for Kain," he added, remembering. "He might leave with Mousesack. If you want to talk to him, better do it before it's morning."
That realization made her sad, too. And it was a purely selfish sadness. "I will."
She slowly led them back to the keep and inside. A few people were still in the main hall, sharing drinks and stories about those who had fallen in the battle. Mousesack was amongst them.
She moved over to him, attempting to be discreet and not disturb Hjalmar's tale of one of his friends. "Mousesack?"
The Druid turned to her and smiled kindly. "What can I do for you, child?"
"May we speak in private?"
Lambert, who was sitting between Mousesack and Keira, looked over with mild curiosity, a teasing smile making his lips curl. "In private? So many secrets now, O'Swallow."
She liked his playfulness. Always had. Even when she had been the butts of his jokes. Only now that she was older, she could hold her own.
Ciri leaned in a little towards him and murmured. "Yes. Womanly ails. You know, my female bits. Want to be of assistance?"
Lambert blanched, looking as though he had just walked in on his little sister naked. Which she supposed was close to what he imagined in his head. He immediately turned away and downed his cup of mead, making her smirk as she led Mousesack away to the kitchens to talk.
"Now, what do you need my help with, child?" the Druid asked when they were alone.
"I was wondering if you could make me something to aid my sleep," she said, feeling oddly vulnerable at the request. "Something that will keep dreams at bay and, um, not allow others to invade my mind while I sleep?"
Mousesack frowned, contemplating. "Yes, of course, I can. It's not too difficult. I'll make some potions and an amulet to keep you protected. I shall leave it with Geralt before I leave."
"Thank you," she said, genuinely grateful. She wrapped her arms around the old man's deceptively frail body and hugged him, something they had not often done.
"You're always welcome, my dear child," he said, hugging her. "You know that. I'll always help any way I can."
Ciri flashed the Druid a smile as they parted and made for the stairs, slowly climbing them to the floor where her room lay. Inside, she removed her sword and begun to do the same with her armor. At least the more restrictive pieces that weren't all that comfortable over a long period of time.
She located some rags and took a seat on her bed, cleaning blood off her sword and clothing, the activity as soothing as her training session outside had been.
After taking care of her armor and weapon, Ciri decided a little self-care might be in order. She ventured up to the room Yennefer had made use of while she was here, filling the wooden tub with warm water she was heating in the fireplace, and once it was sufficiently full, undressed and climbed in.
It was a strange contrast – the warm water and the cold, empty room. Ciri suspected it was always like that when Yennefer took her belongings and left. Geralt must have felt it many times.
She leaned back after having scrubbed her skin and washed her hair thoroughly, being very careful not to fall asleep. Her burned hand helped with that. It felt even worse in the warm water but that was fine. It kept her from dozing off.
"We're going back to Novigrad," Roche said. "To fight the next fight. You know where to find us."
"Don't be a stranger," Ves added, slapping Geralt's shoulder.
They left before the night was over.
Hjalmar was drinking in the kitchen with Zoltan, waiting for Mousesack who would send them back to the isles. Zoltan decided to return to Novigrad on his own later.
Keira and Lambert chose to depart in the morning. Keira needed a witcher's help and Lambert wanted to repay her for saving his life.
Kain was nowhere to be found. Probably taking a walk.
Geralt listened to Hjalmar and Zoltan's talk for a bit, then decided to retire for a few hours of sleep.
Kain strolled around the keep for a while, trying to clear his head and decide what to do next. The night was nice. Peaceful. Even the northern wind had calmed for one night to envelop the keep with quiet.
When he came back, everything was quiet. Some had left, some went to catch some shuteye. Zoltan and Hjalmar were still in the kitchen talking and drinking, and Mousesack was boiling something over the fire.
He noticed Kain and led him out to talk.
"Are you returning with me?" he asked. "You know you're welcome to stay with us in Skellige."
"I suppose I will," Kain said. "This place felt like home, but I don't really belong here. Not on long term."
He nodded. "Very well, then. Go get some sleep. We leave at dawn."
Ciri wrapped herself in a towel after climbing out of the tub and squeezing excess water out of her hair some time later, slowly padding back in the direction of her room with her clothes over her arm.
Kain was coming up the stairs just as she reached the door, and Ciri paused, watching him a moment. "Are you leaving?"
Kain measured her towel-wrapped figure with his eyes, pondering her question.
"Not right this very moment."
"But you are leaving?" She pushed the door to her room open and tossed her armful of clothes onto the nearest chair before fixing him with her gaze again. "Back to the griffin? Skellige?"
He shrugged and glanced at the old wall with its uneven stones. "Yes, Skellige first, and then - who knows."
Ciri nodded, pursing her lips to try and keep herself from saying anything. But it came out, anyway. "I hate that you're leaving." She swallowed. "I mean, I understand completely. But I still hate it."
He considered her. "Aren't you leaving, too? Back to the life on the run with the Elf? At least it's what you said back there."
"I only said that to piss him off," she admitted. "I have some, um, anger issues. And men who try to tell me what to do, who try to control me, they bring out the worst in me. I'm not running anymore. You said it yourself; it is no life."
He smirked, gave a nod. "I hope you told Geralt that. Your announcement near broke him."
"He should know better than to believe the things I say in anger," she said with a small smile. "When I was little I used to threaten to bite him whenever we argued. I don't think I ever actually did."
"He looked like he believed it this time. Probably because he fears it."
"Perhaps," she nodded. "He knows. We talked. All is good. As good as this horrible situation could be."
"It's all good while you're still alive. Even if it doesn't feel like that at times."
She wasn't so sure about that, but didn't argue. "When do you leave?"
"At dawn, with Mousesack. So he says."
"Is it wise to go off on your own? With Eredin's new interest in you?" She frowned. "You know, you are more than welcome to stay with us. To… be with us."
Kain studied her for a long moment. "When I stayed somewhere, it never ended well."
"For you? Or for everyone else?"
"I would say both. I'm used to being alone. I don't really know how to be around people, anymore. I told you before, I'm out of habit."
She nodded. "I know. I won't try to force you. I just want you to know you are welcomed here. And appreciated."
"If Eredin really wants to get us both, it might be better to be apart. When you have two precious stones that might be stolen, you don't keep them in the same box. Or so they say."
"And yet the precious stone without protection will probably be the first one stolen," she pointed out, going with his metaphor.
He chuckled. "I've managed to stay hidden for all my life. Without much protection above what I had on my own. What should change now? You're his main target. You're the one in need of protection. I'm a nameless no-one to him."
"You've never been hunted by him before. That's the change," she said, brow creased in concern. "And even with the protection of a master elven sage, he always manages to find me in the end."
"Your powers make him find you, do they not? You're jumping between worlds. And he's somehow able to track it. I do no such thing. I usually don't even have to use magic much. What I did here... I have done just once before."
"Don't underestimate him, Kain. He has resources and allies we don't even know of yet. If he wants you, he will find you."
Kain sighed. "If he does, there's not much anyone can do. If he finds me, it's best that you're not around to get in the same trap. Then you still have a chance."
She looked to her feet, silently frustrated because as much as he tried to make her understand her own importance, he did not seem to recognize his own. "Or he might not need me at all any longer. Who knows?"
He shrugged. "All the better, then. You've had enough of nightmares for one life. You deserve to be free from it. You all do."
Ciri breathed a laugh. "This has nothing to do with what people deserve. It's about what happens should Eredin get what he wants. Our world, this world we are in right now, will be overrun by The Hunt. They will slaughter most of the population and keep the rest as slaves. Just like they did in Tir ná Lia.
"That is why I am fighting so hard to keep him from getting me. Not because I simply fear what will happen to me when he does."
He peered at her calmly. "I understand why you fight him. But I'm not you. He gets near nothing if he finds me. I can't give him this world. All he can do to me is kill me."
"No!" she argued. "He gets more! He gets…" She didn't know what, exactly.
She closed the space between them and put her hands on the sides of his neck. "You don't see how special you are, do you?" she asked, in awe of his lack of ability to do so. It was so obvious to her. Even if she couldn't describe it in words.
A shiver ran through his nerves at her sudden touch. Her eyes gleamed, searching his so intensely he was lost for words.
"I... don't know what you mean. You probably don't, either."
"What you did out there," she gestured in the direction of the courtyard. "The way you fight. The way you are able to use your magic. You think that is normal? It's not. It's rare. You are… rare. You make me feel. You make me feel… something."
He felt an electric thrill stroke through his spine. He didn't know whether it shocked or plain scared him.
He drew in an urgent breath and took her face in his hands as if to make her focus.
"You've been through a lot, Ciri. Much more than any other human can take. You're grieving, you're scared and a bit discouraged. Tired of your constant run and danger. What you feel is just yearning for security you haven't known for a long time."
She frowned, a tad annoyed. "Don't tell me what I feel. I know that better than anyone, for they are in fact my feelings. I'm not yearning for security. I'm yearning for you. Your presence, your company. Whatever that may mean or bring."
He swallowed, uncertain of what he could possibly say to that.
"You want me to stay?" he murmured.
Maybe she needed more time to see this weird fixation for what it was - her mind's attempt to replace fear and grief with something good.
"Of course I do. I don't fight this hard for just anyone." Especially when it was humiliating and at times seemed highly futile.
"All right," he surrendered, letting her go. "My departure can wait a bit longer."
It was as though she could suddenly breathe again. Tension visibly drained from her shoulders. "Thank you."
He nodded. "One condition: you try to get some sleep."
She pressed her lips together in a slight smile. "I was headed that way right now. Goodnight, Kain."
He nodded again. "Wise decision. I'll have to warn Mousesack."
"Good. See you in the morning." She doubted Mousesack would be finished with the concoctions and amulets by now, so she headed on through to her room, disrobing and climbing in under the covers.
It took a long time before she finally drifted off to sleep and when she did, it was not all that pleasant. There were no invasions but the dreams were foul and heartbreaking, showing her Vesemir's death on repeat.
Kain got up at dawn to see Mousesack off.
"It's unwise to stay here," the Druid told him, shaking his head with a concerned scowl. "It's best for you to return with me. And your beast needs supervision."
"He knows how to avoid people by now. He can take care of himself."
"I do not approve of this whim, my boy. Nor would your mother. She wanted to keep you safe."
"It's just some extra few days. It will be fine."
"We shall hope," he sighed.
The Druid left some potions for Geralt, instructed him, then took Hjalmar back to Skellige.
Kain went to catch a few hares, then came to the lake to take a quick swim.
Griffin landed behind him when he was hastily dressing, teeth clattering.
The beast croaked excitedly and pounced around Kain, then bumped his head into the Cat's chest, nudging the human to hug and stroke him. It was a bit surreal that he had eventually decided to follow Kain all the way to this distant place from Skellige, but now it felt more like home.
Kain lay on a grassy hill under the sun that was pleasantly warm, while Griffin hunted. When the beast ate, he accompanied Kain to the keep. Lambert and Keira were gone earlier, and Kain could only worry about Eskel and Zoltan. And maybe Geralt, too. If they were against a griffin, Kain would just depart with him for Skellige. Now that he had the means to travel.
Someone had baked bread and collected eggs from the nests in the forest, something Ciri immediately took advantage of. She tentatively boiled the eggs (the only thing she knew how to do with one) and sliced the bread with a nearby knife. The keep seemed oddly quiet. Eerily so. Which made sense considering its keeper had–...
No, don't think about that.
She settled down atop a crate in the kitchen to eat her meal, assuming everyone else had already fed themselves considering the hour.
"Dear gods and little fishes," Zoltan exclaimed, eyeballing the griffin. "One thing to hear 'bout it, but seeing's another."
Geralt was silent and frowning. Griffin stared back at them but didn't feel shy and proceeded past the stables looking around with curiosity. He croaked, wings spreading, and flew up onto the side wall where he settled down like a cat on a tree branch observing everything from up high.
"He won't attack unless you do," Kain said, and passed the three dead hares fastened with a rope to Zoltan.
The dwarf whistled, laughing. "Now, that I can make somethin really good with." He went up the stairs for the keep. "Gonna skin 'em."
Eskel and Geralt were still eyeballing the griffin; they exchanged glances, and Eskel said: "I wouldn't believe unless I saw. Life's full of wonders."
Griffin was cleaning his feathers and claws, unperturbed.
Zoltan came into the kitchen just as Ciri was tidying up after herself; the dwarf was carrying a set of dead rabbits on one hand.
"Kain got you those?" she asked, wiping her hands on her thighs.
"Aye, him and his griffin just came wanderin' in from the woods."
She smiled and hurried outside, following the line of Geralt and Eskel's gazes once they came into view. The griffin was camped out atop one of the walls, looking quite at home. She shielded her eyes from the sun with one hand to get a better look at him, then joined the three men down below. Kain was taking a detour along the other wall, heading for the stairs to get to the kitchen after stopping by to wash his hands at a rainwater barrel. The two witchers remaining in the yard looked torn between leaving the thing alone and reaching for their swords, just in case.
"Beautiful, isn't he?"
Geralt answered with a hem, unsure what kind of description he would have chosen. It was hard to kill the habit of viewing such creatures as possible enemies.
"It is... mighty," Eskel tried. "If he really won't do anything funny... Which is impossible to predict. I've never been so close to one without the intention of killing it."
"I'd put that intention away if I were you," she told Eskel with a slight smile. "He's special. Like his friend." Owner seemed the wrong word to use. "I slept next to him two nights in a row."
Eskel and Geralt stared at her with almost identical expressions - that of a concerned father.
"Next to his friend?" Eskel asked, perking an eyebrow up.
Ciri stared back, not quite understanding the way they were now looking at her. "I meant the griffin."
"It let you sleep next to it? And what if it decided to crack your head like a nut with its beak while you slept? It knows Kain. But not anyone else. It's an unpredictable wild creature, Ciri."
She shrugged. "Then I would have been at peace."
That statement surprised even herself and she regretted it the moment she said it. She flashed them both an apologetic look. "Kain would never have let me sleep there if he thought that was a possibility. And I trust Kain."
"Ciri…" Eskel murmured reprimandingly; Geralt merely set his jaw to not say anything. She had the right to be angry and tired. There was nothing he could do about that mood at the moment.
"That is another mystery," he said, folding his arms. "You see him for the second time and trust him for no reason. Just because you're so desperate to be with someone your age?"
"We don't even know that for sure," Eskel added delicately. "If he was here fifty-five years ago, he's the same as Geralt, plus-minus a year or two."
"It wasn't the second – it was the fourth," Ciri corrected. "That griffin helped me when I was in trouble. And so did Kain." She turned to Eskel, her turn to be sporting the reprimanding expression now. "Could you try not to jinx my new friendship? I love spending time with you both, but you're very, very old. It'd be nice to know someone who could see things from my perspective."
Eskel couldn't help a laugh. "From what I've gathered, he's as old school as we all are."
Geralt smirked, amused, nodding at Eskel's opinion and watching her. "We've all been trained and brought up by the same principles and even the same people, if we count our joined trainings."
Ciri groaned and threw her hands in the air, feigning dramatics. "Dash my dreams, why don't you?"
Geralt laughed quietly, trying to restrain it.
Eskel raised his hands up in mock defeat. "You know me, Ciri, I say what I think. It's just what it is."
"He might be pushing seventies like me," Geralt added some fuel, then spread his arms. "But sure, it's flattering to me that you consider us old witchers your peers. The best compliment we could ever get."
"Well, he looks young compared to you lot," she smirked, adding some fuel of her own. "And he has already learned there's no telling me what to do, so… he no longer tries."
Geralt exchanged looks with Eskel, and the latter peered at her with an ironic sneer.
"Such a wise approach requires decades of gathering wisdom. Even Geralt hasn't reached that stage, so hey, maybe your friend is even older than that."
Ciri squinted mischievously. "Or maybe he simply learns from his experiences?"
The men exchanged another look as if considering it for a moment, then shook their heads.
"Impossible. It's the wisdom of ages."
"Agree to disagree," she grinned, though still fairly confident she was in the right. Kain had an old soul – but that was entirely different.
"There might have a way to find it out."
They turned to see Avallac'h approaching. He barely spared the griffin a glance.
"I assume you still know where that dream-seer lives - the one you went to see in Novigrad. She might help find out how old the boy really is and what he can do."
Ciri frowned, looking between Avallac'h and Geralt. "What dream-seer?"
"When I was looking for you, I found a woman in Novigrad - Corinne Tilly, an oneiromancer," Geralt explained. "She made me see a dream, like a vision, that was supposed to give me a clue."
"She can also make one see the memory one might have forgotten," Avallac'h said. "I have an idea of my own that requires her assistance. It's possible to resolve the boy's riddle, as well."
"You'll have to ask Kain about that. For all we know, he might not want to know," Ciri said, wondering why Avallac'h had taken such a sudden interest in Kain. Was it because Eredin had?
Avallac'h peered at her listlessly. "If one cannot understand something about themselves, that mystery doesn't let one live until one finds the truth. I believe he will want to know."
Ciri shrugged. "As I said, it's his decision. He just went inside if you want to talk to him."
She doubted that. He rarely wanted to talk to anyone.
"That is unnecessary at the moment, Zireael," he responded and peered at her expectantly. "Are you ready for your training? We better lose no more time."
She inhaled and nodded reluctantly. "Mhmm. Just tell me where you want me."
"Outside will be fine. Less chance of damage then," he said casually and began to walk towards the area where she had done most of her training as a child. She followed, casting a glance at Eskel and Geralt over her shoulder, before turning and picking up her pace.
"Begin."
Avallac'h's tone was calm but brooked no argument and she instinctively obeyed, closing her eyes where she stood and inhaled. Exhaled. This was how most of their sessions started. Or rather, what most of their sessions contained, period. Meditation and visualization. It was a long time since they'd had the privilege to train using her actual powers. She supposed today would be different. Half an hour passed this way, with her honing her mind and emotions, sensing Avallac'h as he circled her, feeling his eyes on her like a hawk's. If her mind wandered, he would know. If she embraced negative thoughts, he would know. He seemed to be able to tell just by looking at her. That had been unnerving in the beginning but she didn't mind so much now.
"Let us see if you remember what I taught you in the World of Metal," he said once he'd deemed her efforts sufficient.
He pointed towards a collection of bricks on the ground near one of the keep walls that had started to crumble. Then he turned to her, arms behind his back and shot her an expectant look. She wet her lips with her tongue and set her sights on those bricks.
In the World of Metal, as he'd called it, the place where they had stayed for close to six months before Eredin finally caught up, Avallac'h had attempted to teach her how to use her powers to move various objects. They had started with a feather and then progressed to heavier and more complicated items, like boulders and, well, people. The latter had only been successful once and seemed to her to have mostly occurred from some deep-seated instinct of self-preservation when they'd been attacked by bandits. But Avallac'h had still counted it. Now, she supposed they had moved back to the basics.
Ciri called for her power, like she did whenever she travelled. She could feel her whole body ache to jump, like it had become a necessity for wellbeing. Perhaps that was why this was so hard? She struggled to focus her energy into a different direction. But she tried, nonetheless. She brought her hand up to help her with the visualization and cast her magic out like a net over the pile of bricks.
At least, that is what she had intended.
Instead, part of the keep wall exploded, dust and gravel raining down on them both. She winced and looked to Avallac'h who patiently picked pieces of debris out of his long hair. He fixed her with a deadpan expression and commanded: "Again. Better this time."
When Kain emerged from the kitchen, leaving Zoltan to his cooking, Ciri and Avallac'h were training in the inner yard (under Griffin's curious scrutiny) while Geralt sat across from them at another wall polishing his swords and keeping an eye on them. As if trying to decide which one he trusted more - the Elf or the griffin on the wall.
He stood up when he saw Kain, and beckoned.
"A few horses haven't returned from the battle night," he said. "Wanna help me find them?"
"All right."
He put the sword down and led the way, casting another gander Ciri's way.
"Better," Avallac'h said half an hour later, in a tone that was very similar to the one he always used to chide her with.
She didn't think he was able to show the difference at times. The collection of bricks had risen into the air, enveloped in a faint green glow. She had her arms outstretched, her face a mask of concentration. One little stone was easy. Several large ones at the same time… harder.
"You are improving," the Elf said.
She tried to snort but it appeared more like a flinch of her face. "Yes. Soon I will be able to levitate Eredin into the air. You know, if he stands still for twenty minutes first."
Avallac'h ignored her sarcasm. "It is a start, Zireael. And when you apply yourself, you learn quickly. That is good. You have potential. You may be ready when it is time to face The White Frost."
She cast a glance at where she had seen Geralt sit earlier. He was no longer there. "I still don't understand how I am supposed to save everyone. These powers," she said, straining. "They don't save. They destroy."
She clapped her hands together in a sudden motion and the bricks exploded to dust. Her eyes widened slightly. She wasn't sure if she had intended to do that.
"What makes you think such a thing?" Avallac'h asked, unperturbed by the small explosion.
She shrugged, brushing her hair back from her face. "Experience. Other than travelling from world to world, what good have I done for other people? I almost killed you all two days ago. I used to predict deaths, give details people really did not want to hear about themselves. When I was a prisoner before I met you, there was this girl. One of my captors, in a sense. She was a mindreader. And one day she tried to gain access to my thoughts. I could feel her nudging at my mind. So I pushed her out like Yennefer taught me. And the girl, she started to bleed. From her eyes and her nose. And then the guards began to bleed as well, as though it was contagious."
"And did you free yourself?" Avallac'h asked, though she guessed he already knew the answer.
"Yes."
He nodded. "Self-defense. That is not an evil thing, Zireael."
She shrugged, still not certain about that. He watched her, then pointed to the nearest wall, permitting her to lean against it to recover some.
"Ihuarraquax," he said.
Ciri stared. "How do you kn–" She shook her head. It didn't matter. Avallac'h always knew. "What about him?"
"You were thrown into the Korath desert, where nothing that has not been created for heat and drought survives. You were a child. And you found a young unicorn named Ihuarraquax. You, unable to know his true name at the time, called him Little Horse. He had been poisoned by a Sand Monster and you healed him using the Force. Even though your raven-haired sorceress had strictly forbidden it. Because it nearly killed you. But you chose that creature's life over your own. You healed him with your gifts. Was that not an act of kindness? Were your powers not used for good?"
She considered that a second. "Do you think I can learn to heal others? Without, um, dying in the process?"
Avallac'h flashed a rare smile, but he seemed frustrated. As if she still had missed an important lesson he kept trying to impart on her. "Zireael, you are The Elder Blood. You can do whatever you set your mind to."
"How long have you lived in Brokilon?" Geralt asked. They were riding side by side with three recovered horses; one trotted behind them. They were relieved to be going home, they had merely been afraid to come on their own.
"About five years, in all."
"You liked it there?"
Kain considered him. "Why?"
He shrugged. "Five years is a long time. Especially given the constant war they live in."
"I couldn't change how they lived. I merely needed a place to hide. Everything else… came as a price."
"You fought their war for five years. And witchers are taught to be neutral."
"I wasn't a witcher, anymore. And I never killed those who didn't come to the forest to kill. I couldn't stop the dryads or change their minds. But I could pick my shots. So I did."
Geralt studied him for a moment, his fingers playing with the horse's mane. "You got close with any of them?"
Kain squinted subtly, uncomfortable. "They accepted me, tolerated me, but that's about it."
He didn't say a word, but his eyes were still on the Cat, expectantly. Kain looked a question to him.
"You called a name when unconscious," he said. "I don't think Ciri heard. I did."
"Well," Kain sighed, conceding. "She's been good to me, as well as her mother."
"You love her?"
Kain studied the mane of his mount. "I… grew attached. She was the only one who made it feel more like a home environment." He paused, glancing around at the scenery meditatively. "She told me once she knew a witcher before me. The White Wolf."
"She wanted children," Geralt said. "I couldn't give her what she wanted. All I could give was explain the benefits of physical connection for pure pleasure as purpose."
"She told me that, too."
"And she still wanted children." He regarded Kain; Kain saw from the corner of his eye.
"They all do."
They rode in silence for a bit, stopped at the river to let the horses drink.
"Why did you leave Brokilon?" he asked.
Kain didn't want to remember, but hoped he wouldn't pry. "It stopped being what it was for me. I couldn't stay there any longer."
"Why?"
"That battle happened; we were attacked by a human army and had to defend the border. Morénn died protecting her home."
A shadow passed across his features, some kind of a melancholic sadness and knowing. "I see."
He asked no more questions all the rest of the way back. Kain was grateful for it.