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When Eskel and Geralt were out the door to hunt some hares, Kain beat them to it strolling in with his griffin in tow, a bundle of four hares in his hand.
"Gods, you're quick," Eskel sneered, taking the bundle.
Kain let on a smile, short as a ray of sunshine peeking through a thick cloud. "It's no big deal. We hunt every day, anyway."
Eskel elbowed Geralt: "We have to consider fishing later."
He nodded and waited for Eskel to disappear in the keep. He studied Kain; the boy was going to go back.
"You all right?" Geralt asked.
He nodded. "Sure."
"Staying for breakfast?"
"Already had it. I planned to take a swim now."
"All right," the Witcher stepped back as if showing he wasn't stopping him. Kain turned and walked away. The griffin seized Geralt up with his sharp eagle eyes, then followed his friend.
"Have you seen Zireael?"
The Witcher frowned, turning to Avallac'h. That Elf could sneak.
"No. Maybe you overwork her and she hides from you."
He scowled. "Rather she skips away to be with the boy."
"The boy might be my age - and he's just been here. Alone. Look into your methods better, Sage. Excuse me."
Geralt turned and walked away into the keep.
Ciri woke the next morning when the sun was already up. That in itself was shocking. She hadn't slept in for… well, as long as she could remember.
She got dressed and reluctantly headed downstairs. She did not want to participate in this day. A prerogative she might have had were she still a princess. Though her grandmother had never let her sleep in late or hide away. Maybe some other princesses.
Downstairs Ciri ran into Eskel who was carrying a bundle of dead rabbits. Kain. Somehow, she just knew. "Let me help skin them," she offered. Eskel gladly accepted and handed them to her so she could put her knife to them.
Zoltan was still outside and Eskel was about to go, too - Ciri was at the table skinning the hares when Geralt came in.
As soon as the two were alone, he joined her with a knife.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes," she said, working her knife before taking a firm hold of the rabbit pelt and yanking it down the carcass. "Bit tired, though. Don't much feel like training today."
"Avallac'h is already antsy like a werewolf with fleas. Searching for you."
"He'll find me soon enough, I am sure."
He pulled the skin off the hare and peered at Ciri, trying to read her. "Did you talk to Kain? He looked gloomy. Or tired - like you."
She hung one of the rabbits up to dry and started on the next. "We talked. And came to the conclusion it is best to keep our distance. He'll join us for Velen, but… I think he will leave after that."
Geralt regarded her intently. "It's his conclusion, not yours, isn't it?"
"At first, but… the more I think about it, the more sense he makes. Being in my life, he is going to get hurt. In one way or another. And that is what he is trying to avoid. Got to respect that."
She yanked the rest of the pelt off with a slight groan, flinging to aside to a small side table.
"Is that what you want? To let him go? And if the Hunt gets him, you won't let the guilt cripple you?"
"Guilt cripples me no matter who they kill," she said coldly. "They're here for me."
Geralt sliced under the hare's skin and studied her with sharp eyes.
"You haven't answered my question," he said in a soft tone. "Is letting him go what you want?"
"It's what's safest for him."
That was a no-explanation in disguise of one.
He sighed and decided not to press her on it. It was not his place to bend her decisions.
They hung the rabbits up in the kitchen where Zoltan could get to them later, though there was probably a lot of the venison left over from the previous night. "Any word from Yennefer? Triss?"
"No. It wasn't the easiest task that they took upon themselves. It might take more time.
"Avallac'h also hinted on more time for training, so for now you're stuck with it. We all have our jobs, it seems."
"I've been thinking of what you said." Ciri lowered her voice because it was quite likely the Elf in question was lurking somewhere close by. "I am not sure how well Avallac'h can train me in battle magic."
Geralt peered at her with a glint of surprise. "What do you suggest we do? Not even Yennefer is here to help anything. What can you do without Avallac'h?"
"There is another talented mage close by. If he is coming with us to Velen anyway, he may not mind helping me out."
It did not mean things had to get highly personal. She could control herself. Maybe.
Geralt frowned, squinting subtly as if to glimpse any hidden sublines he wasn't seeing. "I thought you wanted to stay away from him. Or it's what he wanted - I'm confused as of who wants what between you two."
So was Ciri. "I can keep an emotional distance even if we are standing next to each other. Like… a professional. Surely you had to act like that as well with girls of the other Witcher schools?"
That made him sneer, even though he tried to stop himself. "Well..." He scratched the back of his head, searching himself. "Felines managed to stay professional while doing everything in their power to make us fail it. And mostly they won."
Ciri looked up at him a furrowed brow, uncertain if she should be disturbed or not. "Is that your way of saying you shagged them all?"
Geralt squinted as if expecting a blow and made a so-so gesture. "Maybe a couple were left out..."
"Gross," she muttered, though a part of it was in jest.
He grinned. "Good times."
"I haven't seen you smile like that in ages. It's disturbing." She wiped her hands on a rag and threw it aside. "So what do you think? Kain versus Avallac'h?"
His smile dimmed quickly to be replaced by a contemplative frown. "I have no idea what kind of magic he uses and how. So I don't know which option is better.
"I know, however, that Avallac'h will not take kindly to being replaced. You will bring even more of the elf's attention to your friend. To play it smart, you'll need to engage both."
"So, stop eating and sleeping?" she suggested, then sighed. "Alright. I shall start with The Fox. I am sure his reprimanding lecture about last night will take a good hour alone."
Geralt chuckled softly and patted her arm in encouragement. "Good luck."
She smiled and headed out into the main hall where she found Avallac'h immediately. As expected, he was not pleased, and he practically hauled her outside by her arm as if he was scared she'd disappear on the way. It was rare for him to get physical.
He spent some time imparting on her the importance of their training and reminding her they were not just preparing for The Hunt, but what came after. He still had not told her in detail what she was supposed to do to stop The White Frost, but somehow she doubted throwing air and fire at a fatal storm would help much.
Still, she did not complain, allowing him to teach her to use the elements as best she could, attacking and defending herself until she was out of breath and her head was aching as though a group of trolls had set up camp in her skull.
"You are paler than usual," Avallac'h said once they took their first break of the day. "Something troubling you, me luned?"
"Just tired," she lied, when in truth she was filled with strange nervous butterflies at the prospect of going to see Kain later. Excited to see him again, yes, but nervous she would not be able to hold her tongue or keep her distance in the way that she had promised herself.
Avallac'h regarded her a moment longer, but did not question her further.
Kain spent more time in the lake than usual - using magic this time to redirect the flow into his hands under water to warm it around him.
He didn't succeed from the go, because the water was freezing, and Griffin's croaking from the shore was distracting. But eventually he managed to succeed and keep it warm around him for a longer washing session.
When Kain came out, however, the air bit him with cold much harder than it would otherwise. He dressed quickly and fed more wood to the campfire he had made beforehand on the shore.
Griffin was lying next to it, busy with combing his fur and feathers with his beak as usual. Kain leaned against him, letting the beast's body warmth seep through the jacket and make him stop shivering. There were no clouds, and the sun shining at them helped, too. Kain felt almost serene, and let his eyes close.
After another few grueling hours of training, they were called to lunch, and to Ciri's absolute horror Avallac'h had decided to eat with them today. Had he overheard what she'd told Geralt? Did he suspect?
She sat down close to said witcher, smiling blandly as they were served their meal, leftover meat from the night before.
This was one of those times she wished she had a telepathic talent, so she could escape the awkwardness of Avallac'h's watchful eyes and indulge in conversation with Geralt.
Everybody was watching the Elf like he grew a few horns from his high and smooth forehead. He did his best to ignore their gaping and began to eat, fork and knife. When Zoltan started distributing mugs with mead, he held up his hand and asked for water in a quiet voice. His wish was met, and then they all sat down to eat.
In awkward silence.
After a few minutes of it, Zoltan snapped his cunning eyes to Eskel and went to where they both liked to dwell: on what was happening between Lambert and Keira before they left together.
Avallac'h didn't enjoy the shift in atmosphere but seemed to intend to sit through it.
"So, how is that training?" Geralt asked both him and Ciri, given they sat in close proximity and wouldn't disturb Zoltan and Eskel.
"Good," she said, her voice blending with Avallac'h's who had responded at the same time.
"Satisfactory. Zireael learns quickly when she applies herself and keeps distractions at bay."
She chewed her meat and swallowed. That was high praise coming from Avallac'h. Even with the subtle snide remark about Kain.
The Witcher chewed his meat, contemplating while watching them both with cunning eyes.
"Excuse me for my curiosity," he began, looking mostly at Avallac'h, "but how come you haven't practiced all those things before in those years you've been hiding together? Surely there were moments when you could use magic just like you do it now."
"We practiced plenty in the World of Metal," Avallac'h said calmly. "It was a place where Eredin could not follow. But when Zireael insisted we return to this world—" he looked at Geralt as if blaming him entirely for this, "—we no longer had the luxury."
Ciri added, "I have used my powers only when absolutely necessary since then. It feels strange to be training again."
Geralt felt the prick he dealt, and looked at Ciri with a hurt concern. "You returned because of me? You shouldn't have, Ciri. You should've known I'd want you to stay hidden, even if it was where I could never find you, either."
She smiled a little. "I am tired of running, Geralt. Tired of only existing. I want to fight and to be with the people I love."
Avallac'h made a face of slight distaste, hidden behind his cup of water as he drank.
"Besides, that world had a terrible buzzing to it. Hurt my head."
The frown did not disappear from Geralt's brow, but he did understand her desire. It was wrong to demand she ran when she could no longer be alone and broken. They needed each other and could only go so far without it.
"Well then," he sighed and took a sip of his mead. "You're resting for the remaining day? You could go fishing with us."
"We still have work to do," Avallac'h said curtly, eyeing Geralt like he was a distinct threat now.
Ciri shook her head at the Elf. "I am done for today. Any more and my head will explode."
He started at her for a long time as if expecting she would cave under his glare. She didn't.
"No elf left in you at all," he said eventually, getting to his feet and gliding away. She knew that had been meant as an insult but tried to pay it no mind.
"I would love to go fishing with you," she told Geralt with a smile, grateful he had provided her with a reason to get away from the keep without raising Avallac'h's suspicions.
Geralt smiled and nodded. "It's settled, then."
Later that day as the men headed out for their fishing trip, Ciri made her way to the lake where Kain had left her the night before. She could sense he was there. It was a good day for swimming, if one enjoyed the cold water, and she expected he had washed sometime before she arrived.
Even she felt tempted to go for a dip, but this did not feel like the right moment.
"What do you know about battle magic?" she asked, settling beside him and the Griffin next to their fire.
Kain snapped his eyes open, peering with a mild surprise. "I wasn't taught battle magic. Except for how they taught the other witchers how to do the signs, which didn't work for me."
"Hm." That was a shame. "But you use magic when fighting, yes?"
"My use of magic is intuitive. Some coming from druid training, some I just feel how to do."
"So there is nothing you can teach me that would prove useful in battle, and I just snuck away from Avallac'h for nothing?" She found that somewhat amusing. "Ah, universe, you have failed me."
He watched her, balancing between amusement and curiosity. "What did you think I would teach you? Spells and incantations that snap your enemies' necks and make their heads explode?"
"That would have been nice," she smiled, looking to her hands. "Avallac'h is well versed in magic, but he is not really a warrior. He is a scholar. And since you have had magical training since you were a small child, from a different group of mages, I thought maybe you might have something I could learn from.
"The people down at the keep seem to be under the opinion I should use my power to protect my allies from harm during battle. But other than slicing at our enemies with my sword, I am not quite sure how I am supposed to do that."
"You seem to have a grand amount of energy - of that magical power within you," he said, eyeballing her pensively. "The only problem seems to be that it comes out either to make you cross into another world or to kill everything around you when you can't control your grief and fear.
"You can heal yourself, but that requires training, as we've seen. I'd say you could do anything if you knew how to summon and direct that power.
"First thing to learn is to feel that power as a part of you. When you roll out of control - it takes over you as if it's an enraged bull you're trying to ride and fail. You should be able to direct it as your own hand that would never betray you."
"That is a fair point," she conceded. "Back at the keep when it all happened, it was as though I was no longer present at all. It got dark." She turned to him. "I have spent a lot of time being afraid of it, the power. Because I used it wrong or lost control. How can I change that? How can I… embrace it?" Was that even the right word?
"You should stop being afraid of it. The opposite of fear is knowledge. You have to get to know it. You have to learn how to wield it, like someone trying to make use of one's legs after a disabling wound.
"First of all, you have to realize that it is a part of you, and it's not going away. You can cut your hand off if you want. But you can't cut off something that you can't see or touch. You have no choice but embrace and learn it."
"Can that be done is such a short amount of time, you think?" she asked, a little concerned. "The moment we leave here, I'll have to keep it all inside again, deny myself even the parts of my magic that feels most natural to me."
A subtle sardonic smirk ran across his lips as he averted his eyes to the lake.
"See, that's the problem. Time. Your power knows no time. To become the power, you have to forget about the time. You have to be beyond the time."
He was starting to sound like Avallac'h now. "I don't understand. How can I connect with my power if I am not allowed to use it. If I am barely allowed to feel it?"
He gave her a serious look. "You can't walk if you're not allowed to use your legs. And you will never learn to walk without the use of your legs."
"So until The Hunt is no longer an issue, I cannot connect with that part of myself?"
"It's a part if you," he reasoned patiently. "You have to connect with it and be whole. Before you're whole, you cannot defeat the Hunt or anything at all. You cannot defeat even yourself - because you're at war with a part of yourself."
Frustration flared. Ciri rubbed her hands over her face. "I don't understand. I don't understand how to do this without alerting The Hunt to my location?"
"They know where you are, don't they? So what does it change if you don't use your power? You were using it while training with your Elf, were you not?"
"Yes. But we will only be here for a few more days. And when we leave, we hardly want to alert Eredin to our new location."
Kain was silent for a long time, watching her with a shrewd squint as if there was a particularly profound message writing itself all over her face.
"You came here wanting something," he said eventually. "What it is that you want? Name it."
Ciri pondered that a moment. How to put her needs into words. "I want help. Your help. To control my power better. To understand it more."
"When do you want it?"
She blinked. "Now, please."
"When is now?"
She watched him. This was getting awfully philosophical. "… Now?"
His lips twitched in the smallest of amused smiles. "And when is Velen?"
She narrowed her eyes, feeling as if he was regarding her as though she was a dimwitted child. Not that he was entirely wrong to. "Later."
"What is later to you?"
"A time that is after now."
He composed a surprised mien. "How do you know what comes after now? Has it happened? Is it happening?"
"I don't know what will come. Only that it will." She leaned in a little, whispering. "Has the training begun? Is this it?"
He ignored the question. "If you don't know what will come - does it exist?"
"Not yet."
"Then why does it matter to you now?"
She could argue. She could bring up all her anxieties and her need to be prepared for whatever was to come. But she knew that was not what he was looking for. "It doesn't. It only does if I allow it to."
"Why do you allow it to? How does it help you in the now?"
"I suppose… it is a bad habit I have acquired over the years. In an attempt to stay prepared. But it has not necessarily helped."
"If you choose a goal to be prepared for something you don't know about, something that doesn't exist, can you even do that?"
"No?" she guessed, her head starting to hurt at all these riddles.
Kain spread his arms in a mute invitation for her to see how it's all clear now.
"Then why do you do something you cannot do when it helps absolutely nothing in your actual life?"
"Because I am a ball of neurosis and bad memories?" She sighed. "Alright. I understand your point. No use obsessing about something that has not, and may never, happen."
He nodded slowly. "In order to do something - anything - successfully, you have to know how to do it. To live, you need to know what life is.
"What you are having issues with is time. What is time? You can't see it, you can't touch it - much like air that is around you despite your inability to see it. But time is the course of things, the sun's progress across the sky and then the moon's.
"You're neither the moon nor the sun, you're Ciri. And the only thing you need to know and see about time is that time for you doesn't exist.
"What is past? Something that happened to you that you can no longer change. It happened and is gone, untouchable. All you can do about it is draw lessons from it - clues for how to do things better. Future is something that doesn't exist at all. It's merely an illusion, no more real than a story you hear at a tavern.
"So tell me, Ciri, is it wise to spend your precious life making yourself crazy over a story that has nothing to do with you? Over an illusion that has never been real, nor yours?"
"No. Though I never claimed to be wise," she said, smiling slightly, a slight shiver rippling down her spine every time she heard her name mentioned in his voice.
He continued: "Your power is your life force, your energy, a part of you as solid and rightful as your body. But you see your body and are used to perceive it as yourself, whereas your power you cannot see as a part of yourself. And so you fear it as if it's some invader, an enemy inside your body that attacks you when it will.
"To learn your power, you need to compare it what you know. Like your body. When you hurt it - you recognize that you are hurting. And then you address that part of your body, connect to it, communicate with it so it would do what you want - heal. Understand?"
"In theory." She shifted beside him. "If my body is not hurting, how do I connect then? How do I begin?"
"Do you only remember about your body when it hurts? Does it cease to be when it doesn't hurt?"
"A lot of the time, yes – I pay more attention when there is pain. Though even then I have learned to ignore it, to withdraw deep into myself until I am nothing but an empty puppet. Self-preservation.
"I am not saying that is right or healthy, but… it has been what helped me survive."
"When you retreat within and become empty - it means you give up control. This is what you taught yourself - and your power - about what you are. This is why your power takes control: because if you refuse, someone has to."
She nodded slowly. "Makes sense. I shall have to try and change that. Might be easier now I am not a child. And not alone."
"You start by reconnecting to your body. Something you know.
"One of the druids told me that our bodies always hurt. That each instant there are thousands of small pains all over our bodies and this is how we sense things with it. The difference is in how intense the pains are. Even the greatest pleasure your body can experience is a series of nervous shocks and explosions in your body that you perceive as pleasant. There is a very fine line between pleasure and pain, and it's all about how your body translates it for you."
She stared, eyes empty for a moment because her thoughts had wandered to the pleasure he spoke of, unveiling flashes of memories that brought not only shame but some kind of anger and fear.
Mistle.
Auberon.
Eredin.
Cheeks flushed with color, she averted her gaze and nodded once more. "Right. That, too, makes sense."
He said, "There are things your body is doing constantly and you don't have to worry or think about it - until something hurts. What I mean is breathing, looking, hearing, smelling. You don't have to control them as fully as some other tasks because your body does it for you.
"If you want to reconnect to your body, you need to let it show you how it does things for you. You have to play with it, watch how it's done and try to make a difference even in those things you never controlled."
"Almost like a form of meditation," she suggested, subtly pressing her cold hands to her cheek to cool down. "I can do that."
"It is a form of meditation," he agreed. "Sit comfortably, close your eyes and let yourself feel the way you breathe, how it happens, how the rest of your body responds; how your heart accelerates whenever you take a deeper breath and how it slows down on shallow ones. Watch how close to stillness you can come the quieter you breathe.
"And while doing all that, you're becoming aware of your body. You connect. You become. And then you are."
She decided to start right then. Might as well while the teacher himself was close by.
She shifted where she sat again, getting more comfortable, crossing her legs, and closing her eyes. She listened to the sound of the wind, to the ripples in the water whenever a fish popped to the surface, to the birds twittering in the trees around them. And then, she turned that attention inside.
She sat for a long while, lips slightly parted, brow furrowing every now and then when she had to adjust her concentration. She listened. To the sound of her body. Her breath. How her neck squeaked slightly every time she moved her head just a little bit…
The world around her fell away.
Kain observed her for a while, the subtle emotions running through her features like a ripple across the surface of a lake; how the energy around her flowed and shifted, how her breath changed.
Then he closed his eyes again and let her be with herself for as long as it took her.
When she came to, she looked at Kain. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be doing what she had just finished. She decided not to disturb him.
Unsure if she was supposed to feel any different after that little session, she searched herself and found that at the very least she was calm. Soothed.
Quietly, Ciri moved down to the water's edge and splashed her face, submerging her hands as well while taking some time to examine that particular sensation. Not quite pain yet. But definitely not pleasure.
Kain opened his eyes to observe her lazily when she scooped the lake water to wash her face. The griffin was watching, too, ears pricked up.
She felt his eyes on her but didn't mind, touching the gravelly ground beneath the water with her fingertips, trying to be mindful of the sensation and even the pain that soon set in. When she could stand it no more, she removed her hands and sat back on her heels, observing the lake before her for a moment longer before returning to Kain.
She settled down at his side this time, careful not to touch Griffin with her back in case he would not approve, and held her cold fingers out over the fire, urging the flames to grow a little more powerful so she could warm herself. They did.
Watching the flame leap higher, crackling, he still said nothing.
Her mind had begun to process the strategy, and she was merely following it. Kain had nothing to say until her mind hit a bump on its road.
The fire did not burn her skin, which was strange but welcome. And when that revelation ceased to be important, Ciri sat back again, absentmindedly leaning into Kain's side while watching the dancing flames with a quiet fascination.
He briefly took notice of the sun's position, then closed his eyes again, listening to the crackling of fire.
Griffin croaked softly and lowered his head on his folded paws to nap.
The more the boy beside her relaxed, the more his beast did, so did Ciri. Her eyes eventually fell shut, her consciousness slipping to some faraway place while she relished in the warmth of Kain's body, the sun up above, and the fire blazing a few feet away. She was content.
Griffin's croak and his body stirring beneath Kain's back pulled Kain from a sort of a slumber. He sat up, allowing the beast to stand. The griffin did a cat-like stretch, the front legs and then the hinder ones, and trotted toward the woods.
Ciri looked as if she were sleeping and then yanked from it.
She sat up abruptly when the steady weight she'd been leaning against shifted, blinking awake and observing her surroundings before following the retreating griffin with her gaze. "I think I fell asleep. Sorry."
"I don't know why you're sorry." He shrugged, and got up, stretching. "You probably don't, either."
"Because I'm fairly certain I fell asleep on you," she muttered, pushing the hair out of her face and slowly getting to her feet. Her backside hurt, but she decided not to share that.
"I'm not sorry," he responded nonchalantly, and fed more twigs to the fire.
She watched him, hesitating a moment. "Well… good." She'd gotten the impression he wasn't all that fond of being touched, or being in close proximity to someone other than his griffin in general. It was nice to know that something like this would not send him running.
"I summoned Kelpie."
Kain peered at her, mutely acknowledging it and as though waiting for any elaboration if it would follow.
"Nothing yet. I wait. And hope."
"Your chances here are better than on Skellige Isles."
"Yes," she agreed. "I have seen her do some amazing things, but commandeering ships were not one of them."
Griffin came back, strolling leisurely as if showing off the hare dangling in his beak. He passed them and settled a bit further to have his snack.
Ciri brushed herself off. "I should go. Avallac'h thinks I am out fishing."
"That's too bad you have no fish to show him." A barely-there smile stroked over his mouth.
She shrugged, smiling a little. "Never claimed to be a skilled fisherman."
"Especially without a fishing rod." The smile widened ever so slightly for an instant before hiding away.
"Lambert taught me how to fish using bombs." She paused, remembering. "It never went very well."
Kain grimaces briefly. "Bombs are not for fishing."
"Yes, that was made clear when the fish came to the surface in bits," she said, eyeing him curiously. "My people said you were extraordinary on the battlefield. That you used some kind of magic? How?"
"Same way I move my limbs - or, rather, a bit more complicated at times. Depends on what exactly I need to do."
She laughed. "Can you be more vague?" Sobering, she regarded him again. "Did you see Caranthir? The ice mage?"
"If his name wasn't floating above his head in shining signs, I have no idea who you're talking about."
"He is one of the generals. Wields a steel staff tipped with a sphere emanating an aura of magic," she said, searching his face to see if recognition dawned. "Favors ice magic. Avallac'h told me he is a navigator. A product of experiments and breeding between very powerful elves which has given him the ability to travel to certain worlds beyond his own. He is the one who opened the portals. The one who froze everyone.
"I faced him in battle and though he can definitely hold his own in a swordfight, he relies heavily on magic. Do you think the Aen Elle of The Hunt are more vulnerable to magical attacks than physical weapons? Is there any way we could do what he does? What the sorceresses of the Lodge can do?"
Kain faintly recalled that staff – he might have seem that mage among the attackers, but not as distinctly as Eredin and Imlerith. Those were the ones imprinted in his memory.
"I don't know what the Lodge can do, nor can I travel between the worlds - unlike you. But you, given the amount of power you have to pull off crossing between worlds - you can do anything you put your mind to."
He pondered a moment over her other question, throwing a few more twigs into fire.
"I can't say whether they're more vulnerable to magic than swords: obviously they can be hurt by both. Which way is better - I don't know. They're skilled warriors, and it would be much harder for me to defeat them in a human sword battle. With magic I managed to kill many. That was what drained me in the end so I... couldn't save Vesemir, nor you."
Ciri reached out to touch his shoulder. "Many more would have died had you not aided them early on." He should feel no guilt for that.
She contemplated his words, nodding slowly.
"I would like to explore fire, then," she said eventually. "So that if I lose my sword, blinking away will not necessarily be my only option. If I have the capability of harboring more than one weapon, I should use it, no?"
Kain squinted at her in a pensive doubt. "I don't think you fully understand how it works. Fire, or air, or whatever else - they're just elements. They're a way to express a power. But you cannot express something you haven't mastered.
"Say, you have a sword. You know it has a cutting blade that can defend you and kill your enemies. But you won't be able to fight with it until you learn how to pull it out of its sheath."
"Teach me how to unsheathe it then," she said softly.
"It takes a bit of time." Kain peered up at her from the campfire. "Think your Elf will survive if you're not back from your fishing trip as soon as he hopes?"
Her lips cracked in a huge grin. "No. But I am alright with that."
He faked a small apologetic smile, "It took me three years. I hope you're more talented than I was."
"Doubt it," she admitted. "But I am not expecting miracles. Just a start would be nice. A nudge in the right direction."
Griffin returned to twirl in his habitual cat-like circle behind Kain's back before settling down to clean his claws and fur after the meal. Kain leaned back against him once again.
"A lot of witcher training teaches some things of how to use your power," he said. "But it barely teaches the bases of what power is and how to tap into it. So, a huge part of becoming one of the best Cats was for me my druid training before it. I came prepared. I knew how to do their pendulums and see with my eyes closed. Others needed potions and even then they needed actual eyes. One who knows how to use the power doesn't need to see with one's eyes to see."
She tilted her head. "So how did the druids teach you how to do that?"
"First of all they teach you what the power is: a part of you as rightful as your dense body; only it's shaped differently. It can be seen only by those who are capable of tapping into their own powers to see it.
"Your power, your life force – it's like air, unseen, untouchable, imperceptible. But we feel air when the wind blows in our faces. You can feel your power if you work on it. In a sense, you make the wind blow to let your power touch you and others."
"Can you see my power?" she asked curiously. "What does it look like?"
"It changes colors depending on your moods. Everything reflects in your colors, and you can't hide anything from those who see. So, you're lucky not everybody can see your power."
Just the boy she liked.
Lucky.
"I feel my power the most when I have not been able to use it for a long time. It is like… a buzzing. Rippling under my skin." She looked to him. "What else do they teach you?"
"It's like a… shining around you. A colorful shining that can expand when you feel most relaxed and rejuvenated and shrink when you feel fear and weariness. The more expanded your power is, the more you can sense, perceive, know, feel from the world around you. Like whiskers of a cat, your power collects information from your surroundings. It can reach further than your eyes or nose or ears can. If there's danger, you feel unease, fear, anxiety you can't explain. Your power alerts you before your body catches up.
"To be most alert and effective – and prepared – you have to work with your power and learn to use it like you use your habitual body – your eyes, your nose, your ears. Your power sees, smells, feels and hears further."
"And are there exercises for doing that?" She recalled her witcher training and the various routines she had to memorize and work through until they were perfect. She was good at that. She understood it.
The invisible, imperceptible things, however… that was harder.
"How do you train with the Elf?" he asked. "What does he have you do and how do you do it?"
"Well, the blinking thing just came on its own. Did not really have to practice that. It was mostly instinct.
"When we were in the World of Metal, Avallac'h started to teach me how to move things without touching them. He said something about imagining an expansion of my hands reaching out to touch and lift and push. It took me a few tries to actually manage," she admitted. "We were there for six months, so we trained when we could. Though we had to stay out of sight of the people there. They had their own kind of magic, with their flying ships and tiny megascopes they could hold in one hand. But Avallac'h wanted us to be cautious.
"Each time I tried I managed to move something heavier. Until finally, when we were set upon by bandits, instinct kicked in again and I hurled a man twice my size off the roof of a very tall, strange building.
"While we have been here we have worked on the equivalent of witcher signs. Igni and Aard. He says it is all about visualization and intent. But it is easier when I know what to imagine."
Kain nodded, "He's not wrong about the visualization and intent. He's not wrong about the extensions – the power is you, and whatever you want to do it can do for you. When you know how to tap into that power – as well as you can raise your hand.
"Find those senses in you – those eyes and ears and skin that you can't see but what can make you see and feel. You know where to seek it inside you when you need to move something with your will. Use that familiarity to connect with it better. Try to feel it in your body, and then outside your body.
"Close your eyes, listen to yourself, feel it, feel the power flowing in you, and when you feel it – direct it to your hands, hold them as though there is a ball in them. Feel it form between your palms, getting denser. You can make it hot or colder. Just feel it between your palms."
She closed her eyes and listened. First to Kain's words and then to the sound of her own breathing, going deeper, deeper, seeking something else.
There was that faint buzz again. No louder than a mosquito, but much more pleasant. It made her tingle all over.
She focused on it, following it with her mind, lifting her hands to palm an invisible ball. At first there was only air. Quiet and unmoving as always. So she dug deeper, tugged and coaxed until she felt something shift inside her.
There was a weight between her hands now, only… it was not heavy, still light as air. She could feel her palms rest against something that felt on the verge of being dense. Fragile, like ice that had not yet finished freezing and could pop if you applied too much pressure. So, she treated it carefully, cradling it in a protective manner until it had grown strong.
Ciri was smiling, but did not know it, all her attention on what was happening between her hands. There was a light crackling and the space around her felt very much like the air before a lightning storm. Hot and humid and filled with that strange magic that made the skies roar and crack with flashes of light.
Only this was smaller. Contained. A storm between her fingertips.
Kain's words came to mind and she attempted to make it colder. Slow, but determined. It took some time until she felt the ripple and crackle die, subdued to something calmer but no less powerful. Her palms felt as though she had submerged them in the water again, but the pain was not there. This cold was hers. Belonged to her. It could not harm her.
Once more, she smiled.
"That's good," he praised with a smile. "Now take it back inside, absorb it and feel it join the flow within you and become one with you again."
Kain's voice was far away and yet she heard him perfectly. She inhaled as if bracing herself and refocused her attentions. She imagined the power between her hands was parting and dispersing, slowly breaking apart and re-entering her palms from where it had emerged, like clusters of fireflies going their separate ways.
Her eyelids fluttered faintly at the various sensations, her hands moving closer and closer together until they were finally touching. She kept her eyes closed, in no hurry to leave this moment, for it was as pleasant as falling asleep next to Kain had been earlier.
"What did it look like?" she whispered after a while.
"Can't tell you," he responded quietly to not spook her with any loud sounds. "It's going to be your next mission: make another and try to see with your inner eyes what it looks like."
Ciri kept her eyes closed and started the process anew, following the same paths she had taken before that had worked so well. When her hands were once again cradling energy like it was something precious, she tried to look, really look, rather than just lose herself to the sensations.
"Green…" she said softly as a start, examining deeper. "A bright green. Like the leaves of a tree during spring. And there is silver. Tiny glimmering shards of silver… Swirling calmly… Like snow falling."
"Change the color," he said, watching the energy glow between her hands. "To whichever you feel like."
Blue. She wanted blue. A light blue, like the clearest part of the ocean when the sun shone down on it. That was one of the more calming, soothing images she could conjure.
But then… a different color entirely. A pale brown that turned to honey. No… Hazel. A golden hazel that for some reason made her heart beat faster and her skin flush with warmth.
She didn't describe it to him this time. She did not have the courage.
He smiled unwittingly, observing her experiments. She couldn't pick just one, and it was fine. It was nice to see she did things with more ease than Kain had back in his day. There wasn't a druid to smack her upside the head when she did it wrong.
Not that he needed to.
Red. Red like her flushed skin. Or at least that is what it felt like. That was the next color, eventually diffusing into a pale pink before she brought it back to green again.
"What now?" Ciri whispered, not daring to open her eyes, worried the magic would disappear.
He looked at her with a glint of cunning in his eye. "And now you will fill that thing with love and send it to your Kelpie. You'll keep your eyes closed to see where it ends up - so you'll know where she is."
Ciri swallowed, feeling oddly nervous. What if she was far away? What if she was hurt? Captured? Worse...What if she did not want to come?
No. No such thoughts.
She inhaled and refocused, thinking of her sweet, black mare. Her savior. Her friend. How much she missed her. How much she loved her. How she would tear down the world to find her.
The energy within her palms expanded with all the emotion she put into it and when it felt like it was about to burst, she let it go.
Find her. Find Kelpie.
Her arms fell to her sides but her eyes remained shut, brow slightly furrowed in concentration.
"She's close," Ciri whispered eventually. "A day's ride away. She is coming."
He nodded with a faint smile.
"Are you tired?"
"No," she decided after a moment's contemplation. "I'm excited."
"Someday you will be tired," he reasoned. "And then it will be useful to know that there is an endless flow of energy everywhere around you where you could borrow some and restore yours.
"There is a flow of force in you, parallel to your spine. It goes down into the ground from your feet and into high up from the top of your head. By just concentrating on it and on all the energy around you that is like air, you can refill your strength and your magic.
"It's not always successful during a battle. But when you can do it - it can save your life. It takes a few moments - or a bit longer if you're drained, but focus should be strong."
"Is that what you did?" she asked, opening her eyes to look at him. "During the battle?"
"I had no time for that. And later... it was close to impossible to concentrate when I had no strength left for anything."
She nodded solemnly before her face cracked in a grin, taking hold of Kain's arms. "She's coming, Kain! She is alive and she is coming here!"
He peered at her with an amused confusion. "It's what we already knew, though."
"Yes, but she's closer than I thought!" she cried, smiling and twirling in her excitement, feeling almost childlike again at the thought of reuniting with her beautiful Kelpie. "It has been so long..."
Griffin watched her outburst with a mix of curiosity and alarm, croaking softly.
"Not much longer now," Kain said.
"Sorry," she told the griffin when she noticed his distress, wincing a smile. "She was with me through everything you know: Bonhart, Tir Na Lia, Stygga Castle, Avalon, and all the other worlds. My loyal travel-companion, stuck to my side through it all. I have never seen a creature like her. Except maybe your griffin."
Kain shrugged. "If your mare is magical in some way, Griffin's not. All griffins are smart - witchers and people merely don't care about that fact."
"I don't think all griffins would bond with someone who saved their lives. Not all would understand that fact."
"I'm not sure why that happened," he admitted. "But it can't be the only such story. All animals understand much more than people give them credit for."
"That we can agree on," she said, watching the tree line with longing as if expecting her horse would come running through at any moment.
"Your Elf is going to be looking for you. Better get some fish and go home."
"He's always looking for me unless we are in the same room," she sighed. "But yes, I suppose it is time. Thank you for today. For teaching me."
"You did everything yourself. I didn't help with anything, so thank your own ability to learn fast."
"You did," she said, regarding him carefully. "I would not have known how to approach this without you. And you are much less sour than Avallac'h, so that is an added bonus."
"Much less sour," he smirked. "He's probably as preoccupied with future as you are. Fear makes people snap and snarl."
"Indeed. He said that is what drove Eredin to the brink of insanity, knowing The White Frost is coming to eradicate his world."
"Thinking of things that don't exist truly can make one mad," he smiled subtly.
"Well, in Eredin's case it is not so strange. The Frost has already reached his world, steadily spreading and coming closer to where his people live. I suppose that is why he is so desperate now."
"They say you're of their blood," Kain squinted pensively. "That means their blood can stop it somehow. They should combine their efforts and find a way instead of demanding you give your life for them. This is exactly why their world is dying - because of how they treat others."
"Apparently the Elder Blood was only bred into a few bloodlines and more often than not the gene has failed to activate. But you may be right about the rest. They have been brutal, cruel creatures. No less than man, of course. Which I suppose, is why The Frost will likely make its way here too in the end."
"If they looked more carefully through their ranks, they'd probably come up with at least a few with an activated gene. They would be the chosen ones to save their world.
"As for this one... This world is rightfully yours. Not that I would suggest you save it. Maybe it's time for it to perish, too."
"I wouldn't be able to live with that on my conscience," she admitted. "If there truly is anything to be done, I can't not try."
"How do you even know what to do about it? Who's even seen that Frost to live and tell about it?"
"Avallac'h has a plan. He is just not very interested in sharing said plan," she said. "Though he will have to at some point if he wants my help. I have not seen The Frost itself. Only worlds that it has already ravaged."
"Whatever it is, talking about it now is utterly useless. There's nothing you can do about it now, and now is the only time that you ever have. Just now. There's nothing else. There's going to be nothing else. Only now. Don't forget it."
"I will be sure to remember it." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "Mind if I come back tomorrow? Do some more training under your guidance?"
"It's probably what I'm here for. I don't mind being of assistance."
Not all. That was the kind of thoughts she shouldn't have. The kind of thoughts Avallac'h would surely beat out of her if he knew.
Ciri swallowed. "I appreciate it."
He gave a faint nod of acknowledgement.
She turned, then abruptly paused. "Oh, I know this probably goes without saying but if you come by the keep, don't mention us doing this to Avallac'h. I doubt he'll be any more understanding than he was at Skellige."
"We don't even look at each other. He doesn't deem me worth of talking to any more than one of the stones the keep was build with."
"He is like that with everyone. Unless you are a full blood Aen Elle, he does not find you worthy."
"I don't think I'll lament my unworthiness."
She grinned. "Good. If it is at all a tiny consolation I find you very worthy."
She swooped in for a very quick embrace, then pulled away.
"Be safe, Kain."
And then, she vanished.
"I can't use my powers," he mimicked, addressing the griffin, and waved a have-you-seen-this hand at where she disappeared.
The griffin croaked.
Ciri appeared just outside the gates of the keep and walked inside, assuming Geralt, Eskel and Zoltan would be back by now.
She was right. She found them inside cooking up the fish they'd caught.
"Nice haul!" she praised, jumping up to sit on the table.
"Where's yers?" Zoltan teased. "Who ain't workin ain't eatin, lassie."
"Better mood?" Geralt perked up an eyebrow.
"Got robbed on the way. Lost all my little fishes." She held up her hands to show just how empty they were before she looked to Geralt. "Yes. Some time at the lake does a girl good.'
He wondered if they made up or revised their agreement. Whatever it was, Ciri didn't look as broken, anymore. And he was fine with it.
"Need help with the cooking?" Ciri asked.
"When do I ever need help with cookin!" Zoltan roared, shoving more fire wood in the stove. "But get some mead flowin', will ye."
"Will do." She jumped off the table and headed for the nearest barrel. Tapping and receiving a hollow sound, she looked back at the men over her shoulder. "This one's almost empty. Got more in the cellar?"
"We gotta have some!" Zoltan said.
"Wine is also an option," Eskel said, getting up. "Come on, kid, let's see that cellar."
"Last man there's a drowner!" she called, maneuvering her way past Eskel and out of the kitchen, dashing for the stairs with childlike glee.
He followed, though seemingly not in as big a hurry as she was.
She made it down into the dark before him, his footsteps echoing against the stone steps as realization dawned.
She should have brought a lantern.
Eskel smirked when he reached her. "Problems, little one?"
She grumbled. "No. Wine's just not my forte, is all."
He snickered and went in search of what they needed.
"Lassie perked up," Zoltan remarked when the two were out of the room.
"A few hours away from Avallac'h do wonders to one's mood," Geralt sneered.
"Aye, aye. Sounds 'bout right. Ye think we're stuck 'ere for much longer?"
"I'm scared to ask."
They returned from the cellar carrying two bottles each. According to Eskel it had been Vesemir's stash, though he rarely drank the stuff when he was alone. He'd want it to be enjoyed by his family, he said.
Ciri blew some dust off one bottle and uncorked it, pouring the four of them a helping each. Esksl took Zoltan his mug, while she handed one to Geralt, hugging him from behind and attempting to rest her chin on his shoulder. "Kelpie is coming back," she whispered.
That was surprising news. He half turned to glimpse her face, his eyebrows rising. "You sure? How do you know?"
"Kain fixed my bracelet," she whispered, just in case Avallac'h was lurking. "I summoned her, and he taught me how to sense for her location. She is coming. Maybe even as soon as tomorrow."
She kissed his cheek and grinned, unable to tamper down her excitement. Today had been a very good day.
Smiling, he watched her all but dance to her chair. "That is great. I'm happy that you're getting her back."
He saluted her with his mug and drank.
"And now what ye've been waitin for all yer lives: our fish stew!" Zoltan announced, brandishing the first bowl he intended to finish. "Come, lassie, help me get 'em to the table fast."
Ciri threw one last smile at Geralt and obeyed Zoltan's request, gathering the bowls he had ladled out and placing them around the table for the four of them. She doubted Avallac'h would join. Lunch seemed to have been a fluke.
As soon as they were all seated and finished toasting Zoltan's fish stew, the dwarf's sharp eyes went to Ciri.
"Say, lassie, how yer tranin's goin? Think it lasts long?"
Eskel rolled his eyes furtively.
Ciri smiled a little, reading between the lines. "As much as I adore having you here, you know you do not have stay, right? If you miss Novigrad…"
Zoltan roared with laughter. "Oh, lassie dear, no Novigrad compares to this splendor of having ye with us boys. All I was wonderin about was what he's gettin at with all that trainin. He asked three times about ye today before lockin himself up in the damn tower."
Ciri averted her gaze to her food. "He is just trying to prepare me for what is to come. It is not a bad thing to have magic on my side. Especially when facing other mages."
"Don' get me wrong, Ciri," Zoltan said. "But when ye says magic, I think Yennefer or even Merigold lass. They would teach ye plenty."
"So basically, get rid of Avallac'h?" she asked.
"Didn't say that!" Zoltan noted, raising a finger. "But he's not exactly shinin with enthusiasm to be here and see us peasants run around ye taking up yet time, if ye know what I'm sayin."
"He is like that with everyone. And I don't think enthusiasm is part of his, um, repertoire. But he knows a lot about The Hunt. He lived and worked with them for centuries. Even raised one of the generals. Despite our many disagreements, I feel safer to have him with me."
"Did he share all he knows about the Hunt with you, though?" Eskel asked carefully.
"Doubt it." She shrugged. "He answers all my questions, but how much he knows compared to what I do now is hard to tell."
"Yer barely scratchin the surface, I'd say," Zoltan scoffed, drinking.
Eskel ate in silence.
"Perhaps you need to bring him some stew when you're finished," Geralt suggested with a small smirk. "No one wants a representative of high and noble race to perish in a Witcher keep from malnutrition."
That dimmed her mood immediately. She did not want another confrontation. "He's several centuries old. I am sure he can fend for himself."
"Doesn't mean we shouldn't show our normal human hospitality and consideration for his... ehm... quirks," Geralt reasoned. "You need him, and that makes us grateful for his aid. I shall do it myself if you don't want to. No problem."
She eyed Geralt suspiciously. "Really?"
He smiled innocently, "Really what?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Are you planning to be cruel? Because he will take his sour mood out on me during our next training session."
Geralt faked a hurt frown. "Cruel? When was ever cruel to this... noble Sage? How could you even imply that, Ciri? It's like you don't know me."
Zoltan and Eskel were hiding their sneers behind their mugs of mead, gulping vigorously.
"We're the defenders of humanity, Ciri," Eskel added when he was ready to look as serious as he could muster. "Being cruel is against our nature."
"Ye betcha," Zoltan nodded, slipping off his chair to refill his and Eskel's bowls.
"Well, he's not human," she pointed out with a smirk of her own. "And this kind nature you speak of is certainly not the reputation your lot has gained."
She stabbed her fork into one of Geralt's leftover potatoes and cheekily ate it, seeing as her own bowl was empty.
"C'mere for more, Cirilla," Zoltan called when Eskel went back to the table to put the two bowls down. He took Geralt's and went back to the dwarf.
She squeaked at the indignity of Eskel serving Geralt and not her, rising to her feet to go get her seconds. "It's good. You used rods this time, seeing as Lambert is not here?"
"Of course we did," Geralt said, nodding a thanks to Eskel when he put his refill before him sitting down. "The only right way to do it."
"The only right and pleasant way to do it," Eskel echoed, grabbing his spoon.
"Have you not been with them to see for yourself, Zireael?"
Everybody snapped their heads to see Avallac'h stroll in, his eyes trained on his ward only.
"Great timing," Eskel muttered under his breath.
Ciri felt a brief flush of heat to her skin as she turned to face the Elf, inwardly cursing her own carelessness and Avallac'h's sneakiness. "I went off on my own for a bit," she said. "Alone time is not exactly a luxury I get to allow myself a lot these days. Hungry?"
Avallac'h didn't seem to believe her. Not that it reflected on his face.
"Have you caught anything?" he asked, settling at the table as if expecting slaves to serve him.
"The boys did," she said, serving him his bowl while taking her own back to her seat next to Geralt.
"Now that we have ye here who knows things," Zoltan said, shooting a look at the Sage, "tell us when ye think yer Hunt attacks again?"
"They would have retreated to Tir Na Lia to regroup," Avallac'h said, eyeing his stew with obvious distaste. "Their navigator used a lot of magic to bring them all here in such a huge number. He would need some time to recover, and Erdin will have to rearrange his army to compensate for his fallen soldiers. I say, if we remain here still in a week's time, they will return here."
"All right," Zoltan said, nodded with satisfaction. "That's somethin more or less specific I can appreciate."
"And if they come here and find no one," Eskel raised his head from the bowl to look at the Sage, "will they need some more time to recuperate and travel someplace again?"
"To another world, certainly. Here they will ride until they feel Zireael's power. No rest needed then."
"Is there a way to send them back?" Geralt asked. "Some kind of magic to push them back out of our world?"
"One or two of them? Perhaps. If you were given time before they cut you down," Avallac'h said, poking at his fish stew. "All of them? Hardly. This was our world before it was yours. We belong here. We cannot be banished."
"Think they'll send another army as big?" Zoltan wanted to know. "Or just a unit?"
"Scouting units," Ciri said, earning a nod from Avallac'h. "They always do. A dozen of them perhaps. They seem to save the army for battles."
"Then they could be defeated," Geralt said. "With sword and magic. Yennefer and I shall be with Ciri at all times, and if they catch up, we will send them to their maker. By units."
Zoltan laughed and saluted him with mead. "That's what I like to hear! Enough runnin and hidin. Attack is the best defense."
"Don't underestimate them," Ciri murmured into her mug. "It never ends well when you underestimate your enemies."
"We faced them," Eskel said. "And though it's hard to kill them when there are so many - it's still possible to. They're mortal, and when there is a limited number, I would gladly bet on Geralt, Yennefer and Kain. You have a very good chance, Ciri. You shouldn't underestimate your family and friends, either."
"I'm not. I just want them all to come out of it whole and alive. Besides, the soldiers we fought here… they are nothing compared to Eredin and his generals." Ciri lowered her gaze, murmuring. "No more losses of those I love. I'd rather slit my own wrists."
"Ciri!" Zoltan reprimanded and snorted. "That is unacceptable how low ye think of all of us and ar skills. Ye alone fight like a lioness, I saw ye on the battlefield and I'm impressed as all frozen hells. We won't let em have ye. Don't fret, lassie. We'll show them our northern hospitality. They'll remember where their true home is and where they should out their skinny arses."
Avallac'h looked around the table, seeming to enjoy the sudden bloodlust and all around cheerful atmosphere. Ciri knew he wanted The Hunt dead as much as she did, but she also knew his enthusiasm was much like an adult watching children doing something adorable.
You lost some of the belief an enemy could be defeated once you had been fighting and running for years without change.
"They're better than me. Eredin and his generals," she said softly. "They are stronger, taller, more skilled. When I defeated Eredin in combat, it was pure luck. Please… don't underestimate them."
"But yer still learnin to do yer magic, Ciri," Zoltan said. "They're huntin ye 'cause yer magic is greater than theirs. When ye learn, they'll fly back to their home with their arses still burnin from yer boot."
She smiled; a smile filled with sadness and immense affection for the man cheering her on. "I hope so."
"Ye show them, lassie," the dwarf said with passion, saluting with his drink. "Ye'll show em all."
She did not believe in herself as much as he did. She would have loved to be the one to finally plunge a sword into Eredin's cold heart. But she doubted that was how it would go. It would be someone stronger. Geralt. Or Kain.
And that was good, as well. As long as they came away unharmed.
She stood and gathered the empty bowls around the table. "Thank you for dinner, Zoltan."
"It's nothin, lassie," the dwarf said, waving a hand. But he cracked a huge grin, nevertheless.
Triss was spread out on top of the covers when Yennefer returned to the Inn, her legs covered with the bottom half of the blanket, her hands tucked beneath her head. She was still awake.
"You didn't sleep, did you?"
She shook her head, sat up and pushed the blankets from her legs. "I couldn't."
"Clearly."
"Did you find out when she's scheduled to perish?"
Yennefer hated to say it.
There was no way.
None of her contacts had panned out and those that she'd tried to use her mind trickery on had been useless. Yennefer had worked her way up a few ranks and it was going to take time – but she had to be sly about it – not too noticeable or it would alert the wrong people and bring them down on her head like acid rain.
She couldn't have that happen, not while things were still so fresh after their failure, and Ciri needed her.
She explained as much to Triss and saw her face fall.
"We can't give up. We can't let her die."
"I'm not planning to do either of those things but if I push too hard."
"You just don't care because she's standing in your way."
Yen's eyes blazed and her hands balled at fists at her side.
"It's no secret that you want to take over the lodge, that it's always been your motivation."
"Triss," she began, trying to be polite, knowing that, like herself, Triss was simply worried for someone she deemed really close. "I don't want Margarita to die."
"But you also don't want her to live, do you? Or you'd be out there doing everything in your pow—"
Yennefer's hand had come up, connected with her cheek and set her green eyes reeling until Yen could see a stain of red splash her face. Triss turned back to her, blinking furiously, a hand lifting to soothe the ache in her face, as if she couldn't believe that Yennefer had assaulted her like or if it had happened.
Yennefer felt nothing, in fact, the entire ordeal was satisfying as she couldn't take Triss's assumptions, her false apologies and beliefs that only what Triss wanted served their people.
"There's nothing to do."
"Of course there is!"
Yennefer closed her eyes. "What I meant is that there is nothing to do right now unless we plan to bring Radovid down on our heads!"
"He's coming anyway!"
And she was right. However, Yennefer had Ciri to think about. She was the important factor and if they went and got themselves caught while The Wild Hunt circled around, what then?
"I need to talk to Geralt. To Ciri."
Triss's eyes grew a darker shade of green and her hand fell away from her face, revealing finger marks that would probably be there for a while. She headed for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"To find Ida and Francesca and tell them what is happening."
"They're not going to care."
"Yes, they are."
"They'll want to save themselves. We're too weak to go up against Radovid on our own! We're outnumbered! That's not even to mention the fact that The Wild Hunt is breathing down our necks!"
"I can persuade them."
An image of Kain jumped into Triss's mind and made Yen roll her eyes.
"I told you, we're not using him, Triss!"
"We need the help!"
They did need the help. But how would making a promise like that achieve anything?
"It's out of the question."
Triss thumped her head against the back of the door, turning to face Yennefer once more, her head reeling with renewed ideas and a lot of words that Yennefer supposed were meant to shame her.
They didn't.
"Fine. I'll go to Dijkstra."
"Didn't you and Geralt just deal with him?"
Yennefer could tell she was a bit surprised that the black-haired sorceress knew that, a renewed blush touching her cheeks, as if she'd expected that to be something in her secret arsenal. Yennefer smiled.
"You sent Keira, remember?"
She nodded and swept a curl behind her ear.
"She has a big mouth."
"Amongst other things," Triss commented.
Yennefer hardly smiled. "Is it dangerous?"
She nodded. "Of course. I'll be fine though – he, he still has feelings for Philippa."
As they all knew that he did.
"I'm sure he'll be able to source some information."
"And if we can't?"
They said nothing but met one another's gazes knowingly.
Geralt.
"How long do you think you'll be?"
"A couple hours."
Yennefer knew she probably shouldn't let Triss go alone, that they should both go and see Dijkstra, but the man and Yennefer never got on, and like with Ida and Francesca, her presence would only make it worse.
She nodded and then watched as Triss headed out the door, feeling a small sense of foreboding. There was something the redhead hadn't shared with her and had guarded against her mental charge.
But what?
Yennefer waited until the door closed behind her, and then recalled a portal for herself, stepping through it an instant later to get back to Kaer Morhen.