Before the sun rose the next day, Geralt and Ciri snuck out of the keep, found their horses and left.
Ciri had placed the letter for Zoltan and Eskel on the kitchen table where they would usually meet up for breakfast in the mornings. Avallac'h's note she had left on the floor outside of his room. Luckily, none of them had woken early.
After Ciri had saddled Kelpie, she did the same to Coen's horse – Onyx – a black stallion that now was ownerless and would be offered to Kain. She knew he wasn't fond of saddles but thought it best to bring one anyway, just in case. He could toss it off if he did not want it.
Just as the horizon started to lighten, Geralt and Ciri rode down the road from the keep with Onyx in tow. It was not long before they reached our agreed-upon meeting place.
An hour before dawn, Kain strapped on his sword and left the cave. They drank some water from the lake, Kain took a dip to wake up, then the griffin carried him toward the area where they agreed to meet with Ciri.
The two were there ahead of time, but the wait wasn't too long. The griffin was alerted first, his ears pricking up; he began croaking softly watching the riders approach.
Ciri greeted Kain and his griffin with a smile, stalling Kelpie from her trot. "Morning. Will you be travelling by air or do you wish to ride with us?" she asked, gesturing to Onyx behind her.
Kain surveyed the horse. "I don't like saddles. But if I fly, I'm going to be way ahead of you."
Griffin croaked from behind him, attempting to look threatening while he scanned Geralt who he didn't trust. He saw the swords behind the Witcher's back – it never meant good.
"We can lose the saddle, if you prefer? It is up to you." Ciri looked back at Geralt who had yet to say anything and seemed to be in a staring competition with the griffin.
"We can sell the saddle in the next village we get to," Geralt said. "A few coins won't do us harm."
Kain approached the horse so the stallion could see him, held out a hand with his palm turned to him. The animal snorted, bobbing his head, his ears pricking up. The griffin croaked again, curious, spooking the stallion slightly; the horse snorted, shifting on his legs.
Kain held the hand, and eventually Onyx approached, stretched his neck to sniff, then put his nose to the Cat's palm. Kain stroked up Onyx's nose to his forehead, brushing the bangs away. The horse relaxed. Kain closed his eyes, seeking that feeling, the familiar sensation of a connection. The horse's head bobbed up and down again, pulling Kain from the short meditation, and the connection was there.
The Cat reached behind the horse's ears, pulling the bridle off; Onyx readily helped, his teeth gritting when it was out of his mouth. Kain folded it and stuffed into the saddlebag, then hopped on, his fingers resting loosely in the black mane.
"It'll have to do for now," he said, moving him with a touch of his heels.
Griffin screeched and made three leaps before taking off.
The griffin took off before them, but they were not far behind, travelling at a gallop down the road from Kaer Morhen and through the lands of Kaedwen. The first few hours of their journey was spent in silence. When they eventually slowed to a walk to allow the horses a break, Ciri sidled up next to Geralt. "Did you talk to him last night? Avallac'h?"
"I didn't say much, but I hope he understood what I meant to say."
Ciri assumed that meant he had talked with his body parts more than anything. She wasn't any better.
She patted his hand and put some more distance between their horses. "There's a river up ahead. We should let the horses drink."
"We might want to stop for an hour," Kain said from ahead of them where he had been trotting.
Kelpie ran up to Kain's side as if she knew that was what Ciri wanted. "Everything alright?"
He gave her a confused glance. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"You want to stop for an hour. Just making sure it was for the horses' sake and that something was not wrong."
She shrugged and urged Kelpie on. She took off at a gallop, her default speed, and they headed for the riverbank.
Once there, Ciri got out of the saddle and loosened her bridle. She'd never needed a bit for Kelpie; she'd never been hard to steer. But Ciri did like having reins to hold onto.
She approached the river and drank deeply. Ciri took advantage of this moment to stretch her legs.
Kain dismounted and went to the river with the horses. While his stallion drank, he pulled the saddle off and carried it back to where they were about to make a camp.
Geralt went to gather wood, and Griffin landed and waited a bit away to hunt. There was a forest nearby.
Ciri stayed with Kelpie a while, stroking her while she drank and watching the mildly bubbling river. She mourned the temporary loss of her powers now they were on the move again, the simple fact that she knew she could not use them for a while to come made her feel sad.
But she had Kelpie. And Geralt. And Kain. She was going to be all right.
Ciri seemed to be engulfed in her thoughts and Kelpie's company, so Kain refrained from disturbing her and went for a hunt.
Griffin ran ahead and headed for the woods while he picked a place a bit higher by the river shore. There were hares, indeed.
When Geralt returned with firewood, Ciri helped him stack and light it. It took longer than usual, the wood damp from the forest ground. But they managed.
She settled down and warmed her hands over the rising fire, smiling a little at Geralt. "This is what I imagined it would be like when I was little. Coming with you on a contract."
Geralt smiled. "We've traveled together before. A long time ago. Not a contract, but still you found yourself adventures."
"I know," she laughed softly. "But this is what I dreamed we'd do when I was grown up. Some sort of father-daughter-witcher-team."
"Maybe one day it will become reality," he mused, peering at her with an affectionate smile. "If you would still want what that little girl dreamed of. Because we all know things change."
"Of course I do," she said without hesitation. "My goal has always been to make it back to you and Yennefer. To be at your sides wherever you go. And if I can put my training to good use while doing so… what more could I want?"
"Your own life," he suggested in a gentle voice. "Your own family. Your own place in the world."
"Can't I have a life of my own and still be close to you?" she asked with a small smile.
"I hope your dreams come true, Ciri," he leaned to her and taking her chin in his hand. "I hope they do. You deserve the best life you could have."
"I hope all our dreams come true," she admitted, leaning into his hand. It was so easy to forget at times that there might not be a 'later' for her. Or for them all if she failed to stop The Frost. But like Kain had told her, it did no good to dwell on something that had not yet happened.
"What would you want to do?" she asked Geralt. "When The Hunt is defeated and you no longer have to search for me. What do you want?"
Geralt laughed softly. "I thought about it a lot when you and I reunited and you were ten. We were heading for Kaer Morhen and you had all your life ahead of you. So excited - both of us were.
"And then I found out the hard way that no plans or dreams you think out for yourself matter in the face of what happens. Your new friend has a good point, Ciri. Living in the now - is that what he told you? It's probably the only right way."
"Probably. But also the most difficult for someone used to expecting the worst." She moved closer to him to lean against his side.
He wrapped an arm around her, drawing her closer. "Perhaps expecting the worst gets us in trouble sometimes."
"And expecting the best leaves us disappointed. So perhaps we should stick to something in the middle."
"No expectations?"
She smiled a little. "Is that even possible?"
"I tried it many times. And it can be achieved - for a while, for a bit… And it is in a way liberating. But expectations always try to fight their way back."
"Yes. That is what they do."
She turned her head to look at him, curious. "Were you doing witcher work when you were my age?"
He nodded. "After the tournament massacre, there was not much left of our schools. So all of us who survived had to do what we were made to do."
"Did you ever get lonely?"
"Of course. But it was something we had to live with. I had it better than some - with Dandelion and other friends I met on the way."
"And women?" she grinned, teasing him with a finger to the side. "I hated that about you when I was little. That women find you so attractive. I thought that meant I would have to battle them all for your attention."
He grinned, watching the fire. "That was impossible. And still is."
"I know that now. As a child it is harder to understand the nuances of different relationships." She turned her head, resting her chin on his shoulder. "How many rabbits do you reckon he will come back with?"
Geralt gave her a surprised look. "I thought you knew him better. So what's your assessment?"
"You think I know how many rabbits he will hunt?" She grinned. "I don't know him that well yet. But if I had to guess I'd say three. If the forest is that generous today."
"Why three? Why not two or five?"
"Three of us. Three rabbits. Not counting the ones the griffin will devour, of course."
He squinted. "What if one is not enough for you?"
"How many rabbits do you think I can eat in one sitting?" she asked, playfully scowling at him.
"From what I remember of your Kaer Morhen days - at least two."
"Lies!" she squealed, feigning outrage. "I just had to eat quickly or else Lambert would scoff it all down."
"Oh, is that so?" he laughed. "It's not Lambert's view of events. Nor Eskel's."
"They're old. Their memory is failing them," she smirked.
Geralt raised his eyebrows, "Am I too old for you, too, now?"
"Mhmm." She gave an affectionate tug on a lock of his hair. "Thinking of trading you in for a younger model."
"Seems like you already have. Not that he should be any younger, given his history, but still."
"He's not a replacement. He's an… addition. Nuances, remember?"
"Since when do I need additions?"
"He's not your addition. He's an addition to my life. At least for now."
"For now..." The Witcher regarded her meditatively. "You don't think he'd want to stay in your life?"
"No," she said honestly. "I think once this is over, this thing with The Hunt, he will go off on his own. Maybe even sooner. He does not owe me anything."
"No one can predict a change of heart. It happens even to the most certain ones."
"Perhaps. But I am trying to keep those expectations low. It will hurt either way but… maybe a little less if I am prepared for him leaving."
"If you want him to stay, you should tell him that. Otherwise he doesn't know what he's losing."
"But he keeps telling me he wants to be alone. If I ask him to stay, is that not selfish?"
Geralt sighed, contemplating it a moment. "He must be scared of loss. Like we all are. Ultimately we're all just scared to lose somebody we grew to need."
"And I can't promise him I won't die. So wouldn't it be cruel of me to ask him to be open to that kind of pain?"
The pain implied in her statement rippled through his chest, casting a shadow on his face. He looked into the fire. "Sadly, we don't always know how to keep ourselves from getting attached."
"I think it is worth the risk. Life: it's pain, it's pleasure. Leave no path untaken. I believe I read that in a book once."
She leaned against him. "But not everyone feels the same."
He hugged her to him. "Time will tell. All that matters is that you always know what you want. The rest will clear out on its own."
"What does it feel like to be with Yennefer now?" she asked softly. "I know you don't remember but...does it feel different than from other women?"
Geralt swallowed, uncomfortable. "She is, indeed, different. I can't really put a finger on how, but there is something special about her. And her commitment to you certainly helps that. But… I still remember nothing of what you all seem to, and I don't know how I can accomplish that. Every time she looks at me, she expects something... something I can't quite give."
"Love?" It was so strange seeing them like this. Him. It saddened her a little. For her own sake, but mostly for his and Yennefer's.
"She expects me to be the one she knows. The one who remembers her - us. And every disappointment hurts her anew. I can see that but can't do anything about it."
"I can't blame her. Don't know what I would have done had some magic spell made you forget me."
"I don't blame her, either. I just..." He heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I guess I just hate feeling helpless like that - when there is no way I can help her with it. I didn't choose to forget her, and yet when I look at her, there is some sort of guilt looming. Misplaced, but real."
She squeezed his arm gently. "If I know Yennefer, and I do, she will find a way reverse the effects sooner or later."
He smiled for her sake, but didn't really know how he felt about that. It seemed there had been too many spells and curses and jinxes interfering with his life. It wasn't the right way to live when you had to doubt whether what you saw and felt and knew was real or not.
His smile didn't reach his eyes, Ciri noticed. "Don't you want all the information there is before you make a choice?"
"It's not that I don't want to... I guess I'm just a bit done with magic. It's more of harm than help when it comes to my life."
"I can understand that reluctance," she admitted. "We will work it out either way, magic or no magic."
He placed a kiss on her temple. "I'm just happy no one made me forget you. That wouldn't be a way to live at all."
He turned to see what movement the corner of his eye caught; Kain was strolling to them, two hares in one hand and one in another.
"Would have saved you a lot of trouble," she teased, craning her neck to follow his line of sight to Kain. "Ha! I was right. Should have put some money on it."
She got to her feet, greeting Kain with a smile. "Forest provided as always?"
"It does." Kain held the hares out to her. "There is a village or a small town ahead, down along the river. And after that a long patch of wilderness. Are we avoiding the town or stopping there?"
Ciri took the hares and lowered to the ground next to the fire, preparing to skin and gut them. "I suppose we could try and sell your saddle there? Though we should make it quick. Just in case a certain elf has decided to follow." She looked to the sun. "He would have noticed our absence by now."
"He won't find you unless you let him," Kain said, taking one of the hares, and went for the river, pulling the hunting knife out.
Ciri shrugged. She had not exactly left detailed descriptions of where they were going and the route they would take to get there, but it still would not have surprised her if Avallac'h managed to find them. Sometimes he simply knew things.
She cut open her first hare and removed its innards, hurling them a few feet away where a gathering of birds immediately pecked and ate.
While Kain was working on his hare at the river, throwing the innards to a pack of holes leading into the rats' nests, Geralt joined him with the third hare.
"Thanks for this," he said, indicating the rabbit. "And for your help. I understand it's not an easy change to be around people you barely know."
"I might not know everything about you," Kain said, "but I do sense things, and that doesn't usually fail me."
Geralt gauged him with mild interest. "And what do you sense?"
"That I'm being put where I'm needed, and I have to trust it. Because it's how my life has always been."
Geralt reflected on it, pulling the skin off the hare's carcass. "I guess it's not a bad way to live."
They rinsed the cleaned meat in the river and came back to the campfire together. Geralt picked three branches to use as skewers, and they set them up over the fire.
"Do you think the Crones will be there?" Ciri asked Geralt once they were roasting the meat. "It is a Sabbath in their honor, after all."
"I don't see why not. They feast on people's worship and sacrifices. They would be there to enjoy the full of it."
"In Velen there are three witches," she told Kain, turning her spear. "Old, haggard looking things. But very powerful. They are in league with The Hunt. Last I was there they found me in the swamp, wounded and unconscious. They brought me back to their hut and prepared to eat parts of me before they eventually called Imlerith. I barely managed to escape.
"They will know as soon as we set foot on Bald Mountain. The element of surprise will not be in our favor."
"I know about the Crones," Kain said, turning the skewers. "They help the Hunt because it benefits them. They would help you if it served them better. But Elder Blood can only serve then when you put your power to their service. Or if they consume it to fuel their own."
"They don't have the resources to hunt her down on their own," said Geralt. "So they would use the alliance with the Hunt in hope to snatch their own prize along the way."
"I am sure they would find me as disappointing as Avallac'h does," Ciri murmured. "Though to his credit, Avallac'h never expressed any wish to eat my feet."
Geralt and Kain shot equally disturbed looks her way.
To his credit, Avallac'h expressed a lot of other wishes, Geralt thought to himself.
Ciri pulled her rabbit out of the fire to inspect it, deciding it could do with another few minutes, oblivious to the horrified looks on her companions' faces. "Once when I was jumping between worlds I ran into an old man who tried to eat me too," she said casually. "His cellar was practically a slaughterhouse. Lots of cannibals out there, it seems. More than I would have thought."
"It's not as uncommon as people like to think," Geralt commented. "Even in our world."
"Have you come across any?"
"I have. A few."
"Did you kill them?"
"I had to," Geralt said. "They attacked me."
Kain smirked to himself.
"What?" she asked, seeing Kain's reaction.
Kain shook his head a nothing and took his skewer off the fire.
Ciri didn't believe him but didn't push it.
They ate, wrapped up the leftovers, and stuffed it into their saddlebags. "So? Village?"
"Vespaden," Geralt said. "And then we go south along the mountain ridge. Until we reach Daevon."
"Lead the way." She got Kelpie ready and climbed into the saddle again, following Geralt's lead towards Vespaden.
They reached the center before long and bargained with a blacksmith who could make use of the materials they offered through Kain's saddle. The payment was not much, but it would be enough should they need to stop by an inn sometime during the journey.
And then they were off again.
The nightfall caught them a few miles short of Daevon, and they decided to spend the night in the woods, away from any traveled roads. It was for the safety measures.
"Daevon is a city too close to the formal capital," Geralt said. "We will have to be careful, and perhaps to split up to not alert any unwanted attention."
"Hoods will be our friends," Ciri said, dismounting Kelpie once they'd found a place appropriate to set up camp. "We all have rather… conspicuous hair."
"Nothing can be done about Geralt and his witcher eyes and swords," Kain said, starting the fire, "but we can dye our hair if it helps anything."
Both her hands came to her hair, almost in a protective manner. "Dye our hair?"
"Yes." Her reaction amused him slightly. Geralt was eyeballing him inquisitively. "It's a short-time solution - doesn't hold too long. You wash your hair, and it leaves significantly less color. But for a visit into town it should do. I did it many times while venturing from Brokilon to towns and cities."
"What do you use for a dye?" she asked, somewhat skeptical. Though if it was temporary…
"Certain bark, berries, charcoals. But the bark should be boiled, so I'd need a bowl and water for that."
"So berries then?" She smiled a little, amused by that thought. "Red? Blue? Might be even more conspicuous."
"Of course not. Black-berried honeysuckle, black chokeberry mostly. Just to fixate the color for longer. It won't be red or blue, it will be dark brown, maybe with a reddish shade to it - like that sorceress Merigold."
Ciri smirked at Geralt because the thought of him sporting red hair was simply hilarious. "Alright. I mean… if it will save us trouble it might be worth it."
"It might be worth it for you two," the Witcher agreed. "For me - not so much. Like Kain said, my eyes sell me out, as well as my swords. And many know me as it is. It would be smarter to split up for the towns and cities."
"We can do that as well. Less amusing but we'll manage," she said, removing Kelpie's saddle and bridle for the night.
"If you mean it about the hair, we have to do it now," Kain warned, eyeing her expectantly. "And I'll need you to get us a bowl from Kaer Morhen. It's a safer and quicker bet than having to borrow it from the city ahead."
Ciri watched him as though he had forgotten something important. "I can't do that. They will know we are on the move. Vulnerable."
"Weren't we already vulnerable right after they left? They knew that, too. They would attack when they're ready, and it doesn't matter where you are at that moment."
Geralt frowned thinking, glancing from one to another. "What if you take it from the city – borrow, as you said? How would you do that? They close the gate for the night. They all still do it, no matter what king sits on the throne."
"I'd sneak in, it's not that hard," Kain shrugged. "All right. I guess it's that, then."
"I will come with. Just in case trouble finds you," Ciri said, getting to her feet.
"You better not," Geralt said. "If you go, you might get tempted to use your power. Let him do it alone, if he knows how." He gave Kain a questioning glance as if to make sure he could confirm it.
Kain nodded. "You can help otherwise. Collect the berries – if you know how they look – and the oak bark. Can you do that?"
"We'll manage," Geralt said.
Ciri pursed her lips. "If you're not back in an hour, I will come for you." It was not a suggestion.
"I can't make that promise," Kain said and gave a subtle sneer. "I might need a bit more time."
Ciri shrugged. "You have an hour." She wasn't going to be away from him any longer than she had to. Especially when he could get in trouble.
She turned and headed into the forest to find those damned berries.
They watched her go, then Kain reached for Geralt's shoulder.
"Don't let her do stupid things, I'll be fine."
"Then you better be back in an hour, because Ciri listens to no one. Not even me, anymore." He patted the Cat's shoulder and headed after her.
Griffin croaked glancing after them, then at Kain. Kain gave a soft croak in return, and the beast trotted to him. He knew there was a flight to make.
"Well, this is pointless," Ciri told Geralt in a low voice as they trudged through the forest. "I can barely make out anything in the dark. You pick, I will carry." She grabbed the hem of her shirt and held it out, creating a makeshift bowl for the berries and bark should he find any.
It was rather dark already, so he helped himself to the Cat potion, which illuminated the forest floor for him. The bark was the easiest part. Berries were a higher rank prize, they took the two for a few spins around until they finally found a bush with black chokeberries.
"I hope these will do," Geralt murmured, picking them in bunches into her makeshift basket.
"They will have to," she said, carefully cradling the berries to keep from squashing them. "We don't exactly have a grand selection."
Kain must have made it within an hour because he found Ciri with Geralt at the campfire when he came back.
He gave her the bowl to free her shirt from the berries and checked the bark.
"It will do," he concluded, and looked at Geralt. "We'll need to find a spring in the woods and do it there. We'll be back soon."
"You better," he said.
Ciri silently breathed a sigh of relief when Kain returned unscathed and got to her feet, pouring the berries and bark into the bowl he'd acquired. She gave Geralt a small smile before following Kain into the woods. "Are we walking blind or can you feel a spring nearby?" she asked, as always fascinated by his powers.
"I can sense the direction. Can't you?"
"No," she said. "I only sense you."
He peered at her, intrigued. "How's that work?"
"It feels like there is a… tether," she attempted, not sure that was the right word. Though it definitely was not wrong. "A cord that stretches the further I move away from you. It allows me to, but it is straining. And so when I want to return it pulls, urgently, trying to get to the state where the cord can be slack and relaxed. Like now."
"That is... alarming," he commented. "To be bound to someone like that. How did it even happen? You didn't know me two weeks ago."
Ciri thought back, silent for a bit as they walked. "I think it came with my second dream," she said eventually. "I dreamed of you before we met and it felt… nice. But I did not sense you then. Otherwise I would have felt you nearby when I ran into your griffin. And I did not know you were going to be at the tailor's that following evening. But then when I dreamt of you in the tower… I got on that boat without truly knowing how to navigate. But I made it there anyway because, well, something pulled me there."
"It was the tower you wanted to see. You said it was the one connected to the White Frost."
"It was. But you were there. And I worried…" She paused for a moment, a little embarrassed. "I worried about your motives for being there."
"What do you mean?"
He slowed down for a moment to catch the direction again, then continued walking, keeping his pace quiet.
"Avallac'h told me that tower holds the power to open a portal directly to the Frost's core. I was worried you were trying to open it." She shrugged. "I did not know you then. I was partially curious of you, who you were, and what you were doing there, and partially felt the need to visit the tower myself. To see it. Feel it."
Kain made no reply, finding his way through the forest. Soon enough they found a small clearing with a bubbling brook.
He collected a bunch of branches around for a small fire and cleared out a patch of the ground next to the water for it.
He poured the berries out of the bowl for now and cut the bark into small pieces on a rock with his hunting knife, then ground them with a rock into something close enough to a powder. It all took a few minutes, which Ciri used to start the fire.
He added a little water to the bark, stirred it with a stick, and suspended it over the fire with magic.
"I'll make it boil faster since we don't have all night."
"So what do we do? Just slather it all over our hair?" she asked, letting hers down from its ties to spill over her shoulders and back. She had considerably more hair than he did.
"Don't worry about the details," he said, letting on a brief amused smile. "It's not my first time."
"But it is mine, so I do worry a little. This better not be some ploy to make me go bald," she teased, the corners of her mouth twitching. "I have enough problems."
"It might make you a bit more inconspicuous," he jibed with an utterly serious mien. "It wouldn't hurt your beauty, either, so think about it." A corner of my mouth twitched in a hint of a smile.
"Oh, really?" she laughed, though secretly pleased and lowering her gaze to conceal the flush of pink to her cheeks. "Fairly certain it would."
The bark was ready; Kain put the bowl down and added berries, then took the rock he used for grinding again. With a bit more water and some charcoal from their little campfire it was coming together nicely.
"Want me to go first, I assume?" he regarded her cunningly. "Or you got braver?"
"I'm not scared," she said, pushing her sleeves up. "Just tell me how."
Instead of telling, he dipped his fingers into the bowl, scooping some of the mass, and began to smooth and rub it into his hair.
She inhaled as if to brace herself and followed his example, bending over at the waist slightly to keep the mixture from dripping onto her clothing. It took some time considering the length of her hair. "Did I get it all?" she asked eventually.
"Not quite, but it's fine. You have me."
He scooped the remaining paste and covered the few places she had missed, then made a makeshift wet bun on top of her head so she could sit straight.
"Have to keep it for a bit. For better effect."
He rinsed his hands in the brook, but they came out stained anyhow.
"Alright." Ciri followed his example again and leaned over to rinse her hands. Even in the semi-darkness her skin looked like it was stained in blood. Luckily, most of it washed away.
"Are the Cats still hunting you?" she asked after a moment. "Do they have a warrant on your head?"
"The few Cats that might be left out there probably have some more important things on their minds, like survival or political matters. Most of them are assassins for hire. They have their hands full."
"Does that mean you are technically no longer on the run?"
"There might be people who remember Brokilon. But it's rather a habit that drives him to live alone and in the woods. It's easier that way."
"But you will no longer have to disguise yourself," she said, gesturing to his hair. "After this, anyway."
"Never say never - one of the first lessons life gives you." He shrugged. "White hair catch attention - unless you're a witcher. Which catches attention all on its own, anyway. I don't like catching attention. It makes people remember you. I was taught to be a shadow."
"Unless you settle down somewhere snowy," she suggested, trying to catch her reflection in the spring under the pale light of the moon. "Then you will blend right in. Like a hare."
"I blend in well when I have to. It takes a bit of skill."
Her attempts to see herself in the water made him smile.
"Not too long now."
He scooped some water with the rinsed bowl and held it over the fire to warm a bit.
"I used to envy Triss' hair. But now I am not so sure I will be able to carry the color like she does," she admitted with a small laugh, eyeing his darkening hair.
"It's just for a day or two," he said, and gestured for her to get closer. "I'll pour water, and you wash it. Ready?"
Ciri shuffled close and leaned her head forward, running her fingers through her hair while he poured the water to get the concoction out. At least to the point it was no longer a greasy mess.
She squeezed the excess water from the lengths of her hair and flipped it back so it could dry and she could help Kain with his own hair. If he needed it.
Kain did better on his own as his habit had it, so he shifted closer to the brook, scooped water with the bowl and poured over his head, rinsing the paste out. When he finished, his hair was dark. It was going to be dark brown in the light of day.
Ciri tilted her head, watching him once he had finished rinsing. "I think I prefer your light hair," she said, reaching out to gently sweep those newly dark locks away from his forehead, smiling a little. "This color suits your eyes, though. Beautiful."
He smirked. "It's dark now, you'll see it as it is after the sun rises."
He bent over the fire, ruffling his hair over the hot air coming off the flames to dry it a little, then rinsed the bowl again and looked a question at her.
"We're going back?"
"I suppose so," she said, purely because she could not think of a good reason to prolong their alone-time. Not beyond I want to.
She allowed herself a few more seconds to detangle her wet hair, then wiped her hands on the thighs of her trousers, getting to her feet.
"Oh wait. Almost forgot."
He produced a lemon from his pocket and cut it in two with his knife, giving her a half.
"Squeeze the juice on your hand - it'll wash off the stains. No one needs to know it's not our color."
She stared at the fruit he handed her, bemused. "Where did you get this? Did you rob some poor innkeeper?" she teased, doing as told and coating her hands in the lemon juice.
"A tavern," he said, taking care of his own stained fingers. "They had enough, one less won't matter much."
"No, I don't imagine it will." She rinsed her hands again and stood.
They burned the squeezed lemon halves in the fire, rinsed their hands, and Kain doused the flames before they left.
Geralt was still awake when they came; he was gazing into the fire thinking about something so deeply he barely saw them coming until they were a few feet away. Surprise and keen interest reflected on his face as he assessed their looks.
"That's… unusual," he said. "And if even I hardly recognized you, it should work just fine for the people who don't know it's you. No ballad ever said Cirilla the Cintra Lion Cub had dark hair. None ever will."
She snorted. "And nobody calls me that anymore, thank the Gods."
She went to check on Kelpie, then settled down near the fire.
Griffin came up to the campfire as soon as Kain was back, and the duo settled down in their habitual matter: Kain leaned into his side and closed his eyes to sleep. Soon enough, he did.
Ciri watched Kain drift off with a small smile on her face, eventually pulling Mousesack's sleeping draught from her saddle bags to have a sip. There was not much left. She would have to come up with something else. "Want me to take the first guard-shift?" she asked Geralt.
"No, you need to sleep," he said, and smiled a little gesturing for her saddle. "Get some, and then we'll see. I'm fine to take the first one."
Ciri looked up at the sky, then back at Geralt. "Wake me soon. You need your sleep too."
She drank and put the bottle back in her saddle bags, using them as a pillow as she lay down next to the fire.
Geralt didn't have to wake her because in three hours Kain was up – he relieved the Witcher off duty, and he caught some shuteye.
He slept until the dawn.
Ciri woke when she noticed someone shifting beside her. The sky was already lightening. "Geralt," she groaned, pushing her hair from her face. "You never do what I ask."
Geralt shrugged, rubbing his neck. "Do you always do what you're asked? I thought it was for the best that you slept longer. You haven't had much luck with it."
He got up, stretching, and looked at the forest. There was nowhere else the griffin and Kain could be.
"Does Ermion's potion help? No nightmares?"
"Yes. There's nothing now. Good or bad." She got to her feet and stretched. "I'm gonna go wash," she gestured for the river she and Kain had visited last night and headed that way.
Geralt took a gulp of water from his flask, then saddled Roach and Kelpie to save some time once they returned.
The campfire was crackling anew; he fed more twigs to it and looked up. The clouds were beginning to get heavier. It might rain later.
Ciri headed for the brook and stopped a little further down. She removed her shirt and trousers, cupping water in her hands and splashing it onto herself, washing as thoroughly as possible in the shallow spring.
When Kain came back to the campfire, Geralt was alone.
"I hope she didn't go searching for me," Kain said. "Because I haven't seen her."
"No, you weren't the target this time." Geralt regarded him closely, then nodded. "That color's not bad at all on you. Ciri's a bit lighter, though."
"Yes, a tad on the dark chestnut side. Her own color isn't fully white, so it had that effect."
"It's a good job, though," Geralt approved. "I like it. It's strange, but not bad at all."
The water was cold and the air chill, so Ciri washed quickly. She still enjoyed the ritual of it. In the past she had gone so long without access to water at all, she'd promised herself to always make use of it once it was near.
She jumped around for a bit to shake the water off and then dressed, her pace brisk as she made her way back to camp to get some warmth in her.
Kain had joined Geralt, she saw, and his dark hair a stark contrast to its usual hue. "There's bread and meat in the saddlebags," she said in case either of them were hungry.
"You've been a slowpoke enough for us to have managed that already," Geralt said. "I better get going. There's two miles to Daevon. We split up here."
"Where are we to meet up again?"
"A storm is coming," Geralt pointed at the sky. "We shall meet after it a mile from the city. I trust you'll find me."
Ciri nodded. "I will." Destiny would always lead her to Geralt.
I shrugged back into my jacket and moved to Kelpie's side. "Be safe."
Geralt nodded and went to Roach. They watched him ride off, then put out the campfire and went in the same direction but following a different route. The storm was coming soon, they had to get ahead of it.
Ciri pulled her hood on in case the rain would come sooner than expected. She did not want the color in her hair to run. "Have you been to Velen before?" she asked conversationally as they rode towards Daevon.
"I have, many times."
"What for? What did you do there?"
"Contracts at first, and later I served as a Brokilon spy and went to many places."
"Brokilon has spies?" she asked, surprised. "What for? To make certain no one is going to invade?"
"Yes. They needed to know when and who was preparing a campaign or invasion. That required being among people in the big cities where the rulers sat."
"I don't think I could ever be covert enough to be a spy," she admitted.
Kain simpered. "Once you color your hair, you get a chance."
"Not sure the hair is enough," she grinned, nudging Kelpie onto the dirt road up ahead. One of several that led to town.
"It's not enough, of course. There's also listening, sneaking into places you shouldn't be, talking to useful people."
"You're very well suited for the first two. The latter, however…" she squinted at him, teasing. "You talked to people? Voluntarily?"
Kain scoffed. "I had to."
"Can't imagine you being happy about it."
He cast a gauging gander at her. "You deem me a caveman?"
"No. I deem you a loner. Like you have told me yourself time and time again."
"I am a loner. Doesn't mean I couldn't pretend to be different when I had such task. I didn't enjoy it, but I did it, anyway."
"My point," she said, eyeing the town up ahead.
They barely managed to get through the gate before the clouds overhead got darker and heavier. The first drops were landing under their feet when they enrolled into a tavern for a meal. When they settled at the free table - not too many of such at this hour - it started pouring outside, lightnings flashing, thunder cracking the sky apart.
Ciri was reluctant to lower her hood, but when she noticed it attracted a certain bit of attention, she did anyway. No one's gaze lingered too long.
A serving woman approached their table with a smile and asked if she could bring them something to drink. They ordered water and whatever meal was on the menu that night. She promised to return quickly.
Kain was watching Ciri curiously; she looked almost defensive for a moment until the woman left. He wondered whether it was her hair she briefly forgot having dyed or her scar she could never forget about.
Ciri caught him staring and instantly wiped at her face with a sleeve, assuming she had a spot of dirt on her skin or something of the like. "What?"
He smiled the slightest bit, amused. "Nothing."
"You lie," she reprimanded without any real heat, combing her fingers through her hair, the color so new and unusual.
He squinted curiously. "When you see someone you've never seen before, like that woman who asked you about your order - do you ever forget about the scar?"
Her expression hardened a little and she lowered her gaze. "Never. Nor should I ever."
"But why? Why does it hold such power over your mind while so little over your face?"
"It was a lesson," Ciri said solemnly. "A lesson to teach me never be arrogant. Never underestimate my opponents. It sticks with me always, as it should.
"It used to be all I saw when looking at my reflection. It was a lot worse than it is now. It no longer looks so… horrific. But the feeling remains."
"The scar could go away, but you still will hold it there. The scar is in your mind - that's where you should heal it."
"That's where I need it most. I got it because I was stupid. Because I acted rashly. I was cocky. I don't want to make that mistake again."
His expression softening, he leaned forward a bit as if to confide. "You don't need to carry a scar in your mind to remember where you did wrong to not repeat it again."
She watched him, her brow faintly creased as if in distress. "Perhaps not. There are still plenty of other reminders." Her hand absentmindedly reached for her throat. Sometimes she could still feel the collar that used to chafe there. "But I don't know how to let it go."
"Because it's not in your now and thus it serves nothing to keep clutching at it with your memory. It robs you of your strength.
"Whatever happened to you in the past taught you something about yourself, about what you could or couldn't do, what you could or couldn't bear and why. And then it ended. Now it's not happening, anymore. All that's left is your experience, your lessons. Keep the lessons and what you've learned, but let go of what happened. It has no more power over you."
"Logic seems to have little influence on my emotions," she admitted, sitting back when the woman returned with their water. When she left again, Ciri reached for his hand on the table, watching it as though it would show her the answers she sought. "Have you scars you need to heal?"
He drank some water and peered at her with a confused frown. "The scars I had from battles healed when I did."
"I meant emotionally. Those you cannot see."
"Everybody has those."
That was a relief. Not that he had pain, but that she was not alone in being unable to heal herself overnight. That even those as skilled as Kain still had their struggles.
She released her hold on his hand and had some water.
He added, "Things of the past you can no longer change - therefore you need to find your peace with them."
He nodded a thanks to the woman who brought their meals. She smiled a little and left, enormous hips swaying in her skirts.
"Maybe I will someday," Ciri said. "When I can focus on other things than those who pursue me."
"If you can't find a way to not shut down your life and thoughts in favor of that grim expectancy of a battle, then you're not living. What are you fighting for, then? For life? For peace? You can never give others what you yourself don't have, Ciri."
He took the fork and began to eat.
"I am fighting to prevent mass murder," she said, unenthusiastically prodding at her meal with her own fork. "That is the best I can do for now."
"If it's all you ever think about - you don't live." He shrugged, swallowing the baked potato. "If you don't live - you're already dead. And a dead one cannot fight for anything or anyone."
"Shall I sit back then and let everyone else fight these battles?"
"You need more than other people's interests to fight for. I used to fight for what others believed in and it never made me feel alive. It's easy to lose yourself in it. You have to know what you fight for. If you fight for life and freedom - then find all those in you. Find them inside yourself, because right now you are alive and free."
"I fight to keep people from dying, including those I love and are dear to me. How is that not in my interest?" she asked, still poking at her meal, a wry smile making her mouth twitch. "You say these things as if it comes so easy. Like one can change with a snap of one's fingers. I envy you your inner strength."
"My inner strength as you call it didn't come with a snap, either. Nor am I as strong as you imply. But when it comes to some trouble or bad times, it can make you lose yourself very easily amidst the chaos and fear and emotions that don't help you but rather pull you down under. The deeper you go, the harder it is to get back up. So I try to never let anything pull me down until I'm dead. It's not a snap of my fingers - it's a choice."
"Did the druids teach you that?" she asked curiously.
"Some," he reached for the cup to take a gulp of water. "Not everything can be taught. Some things you discover on your own."
She finally started eating, silently contemplating as she chewed. He made sense. It was just achieving the things he talked about that seemed… daunting. Where to even start? How could she, when the last ten years of her life had been one horror after another, rarely with anything in between? It was stacking up so high and heavy she wondered if she could even shift any of those metaphorical bricks.
He studied her preoccupied expression while finishing his meal, then sipped his water, and added, "The first part of allowing yourself to live is to live in the now, Ciri. If you will try to leave in the now and leave everything else that is not in this now with you out of it, it will get better. You'll learn to think of things other than the Hunt. You need to."
She looked up to meet his gaze. "And if someone I love dies because I let my guard down? Will it be worth it?"
He donned a subtle knowing smile. "You can never prevent a death that has to happen. No matter what you do. And if you can save someone you love - powers that be will give you that chance. You don't have to be obsessing over it to have it happen. You need to let go."
She did not understand how he could have so much faith in a power he could not see or feel. Much like people and their Gods.
But had not Freyja proved herself to her on several occasions just less than a week ago?
Ciri hummed in acknowledgement as if to let him know she took his words to heart. And she did. No matter how overwhelming it all felt.
"You keep postponing life with that Hunt and its upcoming battle. But your life is right now and only now. That after-Hunt hasn't happened. And it might never happen. It doesn't exist. So when will you live?"
"Now," she said around a mouthful of potato, smiling a little because this seemed oddly familiar to a conversation they had had before.
He nodded, "Don't forget that."
The storm outside had only been gaining force, and now thunder roared almost every minute.
"We might need to buy a room and use that storm time to get some sleep," he suggested, casting a glance at the window all misty with rain. "So we could relieve your Wolf of his watch duty next time."
She eyed the storm outside. It was likely Geralt had found a tavern or inn of his own to hole up in until the bad weather passed.
She knew it was a good idea to leave Kaer Morhen early in case of trouble on the way.
She nodded, trying to shovel the rest of her food into her mouth at a rapid rate. "Got enough gold?"
"Yes, I'll take care of it."
He finished his water, got up from the table, and went to arrange it with the keeper. It wasn't costly at all, and they had a room available.
The woman, who was probably the keeper's wife, led him to the second floor.
"We don' give keys anymore," she said. "Some folk steals. Dunno what the chort they need our key for, but we take no chances. Makin keys costs ye, too, and they ain't payin'. Here ye go." She pushed the door and waved a hand inside. "Bed's clean if ye wonderin'."
He nodded and she went back for the stairs. He closed the door and followed.
Ciri was almost done with her meal when he returned.
"Done," he said.
She stood, downing the rest of her water before following Kain upstairs. The room was not big but it was comfortable enough with a big bed and what appeared to be a very old dresser.
She took a seat on the edge of the bed, shrugged off her jacket and flopped down on her back.
"Not too bad as beds go."
"I'm not a judge of beds," Kain said, casting a gander at it on his way to the murky window. The storm was raging, and the sky was still firmly dark. They had at least two or three hours.
"The ones at my grandmother's castle were so soft you could drown in them," she murmured, throwing an arm over her head. "Never felt anything like it since."
He considered her thoughtfully. "You miss it? That life you had back then with your grandmother?"
She thought about that a moment, then turned her head to look at him. "I don't know. I suppose I miss how easy life was. When I did not have lessons I would spend my time playing with the other children at court. We did not really have many worries. And I miss her… Calanthe. Even though my parents were gone she made me feel very loved."
He understood what she felt very well.
"You're still loved," he reminded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You have Geralt and Yennefer who try very hard to make you feel it. Calanthe might not be with you any longer, but her love never left."
"I know," she smiled. "I am very lucky."
She patted the side of the bed next to her when he sat. "Lay down, Archer. Let us get some rest while the storm still rages."
He looked at the floor, then back to the bed, pondering shortly. Then lay down next to her. It was softer than he was used to. But maybe it wasn't all that bad.
The rain and thunder outside were somewhat lulling. He liked storms.
She closed her eyes when he settled down next to her, as always comforted and warmed by his proximity. It took her no time at all before she drifted off.
He closed his eyes and thought of Griffin. Griffin found himself a cave.
Good.
He missed the campfire, too - he grew to like warmth. The thought made Kain smile a little, and then his mind got a bit jumbled as he fell asleep.
When Ciri next woke, it looked as though the rain had calmed a little.
Kain was still asleep. She watched him serenely for a few minutes before finally getting out of the bed, quietly moving over to the window to have a look at the street below. Not many of the villagers were out. Most of them had probably sought refuge from the storm. Like them.
Her weight shifting pulled him from his slumber, reluctantly. He realized he could go with more. It was still raining outside.
"Want to move out?" he asked without opening his eyes.
"We need to meet up with Geralt," she said softly before looking his way. "It is not all that tempting to leave the comfort and warmth of this room for what is out there but… we cannot dawdle either."
"We still have time, and traveling in the rain is not very productive. At least on horses."
She smiled a little, moving to reclaim her spot on the bed, lying on her side to face him. "Are you tired?"
"Not really. Riding horses in the rain is not my favorite pastime."
"I think that applies to most people," she said, yawning. "Alright. Let us stay for a little while longer."
"While it rains," he murmured.
"And should it rain all afternoon?"
Kain cracked his eyes open to give her a simultaneously cunning and inquiring look.
He didn't answer, so she raised her gaze to him again, catching the look there. "Live in the now?"
He smiled and closed his eyes again.
"Not much room for plans in that life…" she mused.
"You need plans to feel secure?"
"Very much depends on the situation, I'd say. Though most plans tend not to come to fruition anyway."
"Then what's the point of planning further than five minutes? An illusion of control and security? Is that so important?"
"It feels comforting in the moment."
He reflected on it, then creased his lips shortly in a gesture of uncertainty. "Planning never really worked for me in any sense. Not for the future, nor in the moment. I didn't gain that habit."
"My plans of vengeance seem to always work. The rest… not so much."
She turned to look at him again, affectionately brushing his dark locks from his forehead again.
"So strange… You almost look like a completely different person."
His lips twitched in mild amusement. "That was the goal, wasn't it."
"Yes."
She ran her fingers through his hair one last time. It was so soft. She had never really imagined a man's hair being soft. Maybe it was the elf in him.
"Do you know how to use magic to change your appearance?"
Kain grimaced, "It's not easy and breeds problems, for it requires constant self-control to maintain the effect. I know the theory, but never tried to practice."
"How do you think the sorceresses do it? It is rumored most of them has changed their appearance with magic."
"Magic saturates them when they're settled in it. And then magic gradually changes them. It's different than a deliberate spell to change for a limited amount of time."
"So they have no say in the change? Even the physical one?"
"I don't think any of them mind given the changes are beneficial. Look at Yennefer, at Merigold. However, I heard some can't have children, which is an unfortunate change they have no say in, either."
"It is true. Most of them cannot. I think that is Yennefer's biggest regret."
"She has you. It helps somewhat, I imagine."
"She did not have me for long. A year and some change before we got separated. Then another few months some years after that. But yes, I'd like to think she considers me her daughter. I think of her as my mother."
"Having you in her life is a solace to her. It's pretty much obvious."
Ciri smiled at him. "You picked up on that in the short time you and Yen spent together?"
"It's not that hard to notice how she looks at you and Geralt and how she changes when around you two."
She pushed herself onto an elbow, intrigued. "How does she change?"
"She becomes tamer, softer, loving. She's utterly different with others - on guard and cold and calculating. And even more so around Merigold sorceress."
Ciri cleared her throat. "Well, there is some bad history there. A few years back Geralt lost his memory due to some, um, unforeseen magical consequences. And Triss, well aware of his relationship with Yennefer, used his memory loss to her advantage so Geralt would become romantically attached to her instead. It was a whole big mess, I hear."
"Her affection is showing, too. What surprises me is that he forgave it."
"What makes you think he did?"
"When people are in a close proximity of someone who they think wronged them, they emit certain vibes. He didn't."
Ciri thought about that for a moment. "I believe Geralt does not put much weight in the actions of people who have betrayed him. I suppose that is why he forgives easier.
"Those who harm anyone he loves, however, that is a different thing."
"It's honorable to forgive. But it's stupid to disregard certain things that cross certain lines - because those lines can be crossed again."
"I agree. But I think that is something everyone has to learn on their own. Your past experiences plays a huge impact on how easily you trust currently."
"I don't trust easily, and I barely ever have. But yes, there always are a few lessons to teach that."
"If you have hardly had any personal relationships, that makes sense."
"The lessons I'd had didn't inspire for seeking any."
"Exactly. Poor experiences calls for little trust."
With his eyes closed, Kain tried to avoid the thoughts of Brokilon and the Felines that were looming over his mind ready to swoop in.
He did not speak any further and his eyes were closed, so Ciri assumed he was attempting to get some more sleep. She was silent, too, rolling over onto her back and holding her hand up, idly examining the lines and grooves of her palm.
It was silly to worry about Geralt. But still, he was out there all alone. She could not help it.