Hey there. I know it has been a great while that I las wrote anything. So thank you for staying around for so long. This chapter is a little shorter than I wanted it to be but I decided to make the cut here and put the events of Sarn Gebirn into the next chapter which will be longer again. Hopefully this won't take that long this time but with getting pregnant and now a 6 months old toddler at home, things never work out the way I planned it seems.
Quickly days of rest turned into weeks and with each passing day I grew more and more restless. I knew that we would be followed. After all, it wasn't that hard to figure out that at some point the enemy would try to gain ground on us, so I didn't understand why we stayed for so long. Each day we wasted was another day we lost on our head start.
"Calm down, lass. You're making me nervous.", Gimli grumbled next to me while pulling the whetstone over his axe's blade and giving me a short sideways glance.
"I can't help it. We should be on our way instead of wasting any more precious time. I don't understand what is keeping us here!" Frustrated, I kicked away a stone and looked up when it didn't hit the ground again.
"Such violence, my lady." Haldir watched me pacing around, holding the stone in his hand. "Aragorn asked me to tell you to prepare. You will be leaving at first light tomorrow." He turned around without another word. I quickly looked at Gimli for confirmation that I heard the marchwarden right.
"Means you can finally stop wearing a path into the ground…" I smirked at the dwarf and then quickly took off after the elf. He had stopped when he heard my footsteps and turned back towards me.
"What happened?" I was curious as to why Aragorn suddenly decided to continue our journey.
"I may not say. He spoke to the Lady Galadriel earlier. Upon returning he asked me to find you since you seemed rather stuck on the idea of leaving sooner than later." I looked up at the seasoned warrior and didn't miss the small smile playing along his lips.
"You know why. Don't you?" He looked at me in silence for a while and I doubted he'd answer at all.
"I have a feeling why you didn't want to stay. I hope for your sake that you succeed in saving your friend. Still, forgive me that I highly doubt you will. Not because of the lack of skill but because it isn't meant to be." I let out a heavy sigh. I feared Haldir was right, that I would fail to save Boromir.
"At least I tried…"
"You haven't told him, I assume." The elf was looking off between the giant like young trees, his face not giving away much to someone who didn't know him. But over the last weeks I had noticed some cracks in the almost perfect mask of indifference.
"How could I? How do you tell someone you saw their death and there is only a one in a billion chance to prevent the inevitable and spare them? I cannot tell him if it will never happen and I cannot not tell him if it might save him."
"Yes, the future is a burden that weighs heavy on those uncertain of it. But knowing sometimes is the greater curse. Maybe it is better to just let it play out the way it is supposed to, in the end fate will always find a way. Even if you manage to save him now, who is there to say what will come of that?", Haldir mused with a somewhat distant look in his blue eyes.
"Who did you lose to fate?" The marchwarden's eyes returned to find mine with a sad smile.
"The woman whose necklace you were gifted." My heart felt heavy at his words and I had reached down to pull the gift off and give it back to the elf.
"No, it was a gift to you. I can see why Glorfindel decided to part from the only thing that is left of his sister. She was much like you. Gentle at heart but fierce in battle. She died the only way she would have chosen for herself, sparing her beloved brother's life." After a moment the elf seemed to regain control over his emotions and his face returned to the usual expressionless mask all elves seemed to wear so well around strangers. Before I could ask him some more questions another elf from his guard came down the path we were on, signaling he needed to speak to his commander and so I excused myself to make my way back to my sleeping place.
Morning came far too soon after I had finally fallen asleep at the foot of the huge tree. Thoughts of what would await us once we left the safety of the forest plagued me together with the uncertainty of what to do with Boromir. As soon as the light started to seep through the leaves above our heads Aragorn urged us to collect our already packed belongings. We followed him and Haldir down to the stream, which was called Celebrant or Silverlode in the common tongue as Legolas explained to me, and it would lead us to the great river Anduin.
Down by the shore our party was awaited by the Lord and Lady of Lorién and a handful of highborn elves. They had provided us with three boats, the likes of which I had never seen before. They seemed almost too elegant to withstand the forces of the flowing water in the way they were built and decorated but Aragorn assured me that there was no safer way to travel these waters. We were provided with enough food and supplies to last us quite some time even when Merry and Pippin weren't so convinced of the nurturing effect of the Lembas bread.
"Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes.", Lord Celeborn stated as we were each given a new cloak, secured with a broach made to look like a leaf. I was touched by the gesture, understanding what this seemingly so small gift meant. It was a promise that this endeavour was not only of importance to all of Middle Earth but that we had allies here in Lothlorién.
"So this is farewell for now, Lady Kayleigh." I looked up at the marchwarden as he approached me to help secure the gifted cloak around my shoulders. In silence I nodded, feeling the loss of yet another that I had grown very fond of.
"I will be missing sparring with you, my lord marchwarden.", I replied with a hint of bitterness in my voice. I hated that ever since I came to this world all I seemed to do was leave behind those I came to care about.
"We will be seeing each other again, I am sure of this. Stay strong and don't let the lurking shadow of death corrupt your heart." His voice was soft as he spoke to me in Sindarin, something that had become a habit for him and which I had come to understand as the highest form of appreciation one could expect from the mostly stoic warrior.
"I hope you are right. I would hate for this to be the last words we share.", I replied.
"You live as long as I have and you stop counting the goodbyes but instead cherish the time given, my friend." Haldir took a hold of my forearm and pulled me into a short but firm embrace.
"You will conquer that darkness rising inside and I will be seeing you again before the end of this war." Without any more words he let go of me and turned towards Aragorn and Legolas, pulling them into the same tight embrace.
Due to the short conversation with the marchwarden, it had completely escaped me that lord Celeborn and lady Galadriel took the time to talk to every single member of the fellowship and that all of my companions had been granted yet another gift in addition to the green cloaks.
"Lady Kayleigh, I will be missing your company greatly. Thank you for leaving some knowledge of your own world here in Lothlorién.", the lord of Lorién spoke first and took my hands in his in an affectionate gesture. "It troubles me that I wasn't able to set your mind completely at ease and I hope you will find some peace."
"Your words helped to at least give me some hope that there still is a way." I gave him an honest smile as he let go of my hands and slightly bowed his head towards me.
"Your journey is still far from over, child. Gandalf helped to give you a path through this new life but you might still wonder what your purpose is. Your fate is yet to be determined, I only caught glimpses of what lies ahead of you. One thing I could see clearly though, whatever path you take it leads to one thing. You will soon find your place in this world, a home." Her stern gaze softened the tiniest bit before she continued. "And what is there that we could give to you?"
I thought about the question for a moment because in all honesty, I hadn't expected to get anything besides the new cloak.
"There is nothing I could ask for, my lady. The greatest gift I already received. I got a whole new life where I only expected a cold and dark grave." I cast a glance to the side when I caught Boromir looking my way in my peripheral vision. "And in a way I found the family I always seemed to lack after my father left us…"
"I may not tell you about the Gondorian's fate but know that you brought a peace to his heart that he wouldn't have found any other way. Even if he is to die, you will have saved a part of him that he thought lost long ago." Her eyes held a deep sadness and I felt like I already lost the warrior no matter what I decided to do. But learning that I had at least a small impact on him made me feel more at peace with the uncertainty of his fate.
"Then I need no further gift from you but your words of wisdom, my lady." I bowed my head in gratitude to the elven sorceress and I really meant it. Her words brought me more comfort and safety than any weapon or shield she could have given to me.
"Kayleigh. It is time." Aragorn held out his hand to me in order to help me climb into the boat which I would be sharing with Gimli and Legolas.
"Stay strong, Kayleigh. You will soon have to play your part…" I looked back one last time at the procession of elves along the shore before they one by one were swallowed up by the thin morning mist wafting around the shoreline. Seeing them disappear into the white mass felt weird, like a distant dream fading and transforming them more back into beings sprung out of a fairy tale from our modern world.
"What did you get from her, lass?", Gimli's gruff voice cut through my musings.
"Huh?" I shook my head and looked at the grinning dwarf.
"What did the lady of the elves give to you, girl? Get out of your head before you lose it." He clapped his hand down on my shoulder with enough force to have my teeth clattering together. I had gotten used to those gestures and knew he only treated me like this because he cared a lot more than he would ever express with words.
"Words of wisdom were what she gave to me. And I wouldn't have asked for more. I already have everything else I need." Legolas gave me an understanding smile over the dwarf's head while Gimli let out a content snort.
Our boat brought up the rear behind Boromir, Merry and Pippin in the middle and Aragorn with Frodo and Sam up front. Even after I told Legolas that he should tell me if he needed someone to take over the paddle, he insisted that he wouldn't tire any time soon.
"It is more important that you save your strength for when we encounter the enemy. I can feel them following us. They are still far from catching up but the trees are already weary of them…" I gave the elf a solemn look. In a way I envied him for his heightened senses but at the same time I knew it must have been a burden to be so connected to the world around you. I wonder if he can actually feel every being around him as much as he makes it seem. Or if he only picks up on the whispers of the trees… Did we as humans at one point lose that connection to the world around us or did we never have it to begin with?
Up ahead I studied Boromir's form. I was worried for him. Not only because of what I had seen but more so because he had grown restless. Even in the safety of the elven city he had not been able to find some much needed sleep. I understood that he was fearing for his people as they were so close to Mordor. Still there was something else in his eyes. A looming shadow that seemed to cloud his mind. Even when I still felt safe sleeping next to him, something was changing in him, I could almost feel it. It was as if a darkness had taken root in him and more than once did I catch him looking at Frodo in a way that had my insides churning with concern.
The first days passed all much the same as the day before. We would stay on the river for most of the day, making camp on shore once daylight began to fade and breaking camp with the first rays of sunlight. It took us about two days to reach the Great River, the Silverlode widening and leaving me awestruck at the sight before us. The other shore seemed a lifetime away at this moment, hugged by a cascade of green and yellow with sand as white as I had ever seen it before.
"Anduin. The Great River.", I heard Legolas whisper and his eyes shone with affection when I turned to briefly look at him.
"It's so beautiful. I have never seen anything like it.", I whispered, leaning over the railing and touched my fingertips into the cool water below.
"Oy, careful lass! Wouldn't want you to go overboard and drown in these waters…" Gimli jerked me back with just a little too much force and for a second I was afraid the boat would just keel over.
"That was uncalled for, master dwarf. I am quite capable of swimming." I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted at the dwarf. I had only been able to enjoy the smoothness of the water for a mere second before he put an end to my delight. He mumbled something into his beard that I didn't quite catch and turned his back on me. Legolas gave me an apologetic look and with a sigh I let my eyes travel over the scenery unfolding around us.
Our journey proved to be rather uneventful for some days, which in a way ade me more uneasy. I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach when we made camp on the riverbanks that night.
"What troubles you?" I looked up at Legolas. He had come up next to me without making a sound and stared out over the now dark waters.
"Something doesn't feel right. It feels like walking into a trap that you can't see…" I voiced my concern to the elf. He was about to answer when some heated words broke into our conversation.
"You are afraid! All your life, you have hidden in the shadows. Scared of who you are, of what you are." Aragorn yanked his arm free off Boromir's hold on him and walked away, not answering what the Gondorian had just thrown at his head. I let out a deep sigh.
"He isn't well. Something has changed in him." I mumbled more to myself than my companion.
"I noticed. Since we left Lothlórien it has become clearer every day.", the elf replied.
"No. It already started when we were still there. Something happened." Without another word I made my way over to the now brooding man.
"What was that about?", I asked him up front.
"Don't know what you mean, little girl." He avoided making eye contact with me and I felt him pull away from me for the first time. Something wasn't right here.
"Boromir…"
"Just let me rest, will you? I am exhausted from all that stupid paddling around in a boat where I am the only one moving a muscle!" He pulled his hand from me with more force than necessary.
"What has gotten into you? Can you hear yourself?" I felt like he had lashed out physically at me. I had never heard him talk like this. He had a soft spot for the hobbits and talking like this wasn't like him at all.
"I've got two ears, don't I? And you are one to talk. Chewing my ear off for weeks and suddenly keeping secrets from me?!" I made a hesitant step back when he suddenly got into my face. A dark shadow had passed through his eyes for barely a second. The moment I stepped back he seemed to come to a realization.
"Kayleigh… I didn't mean to…"
"Yes, you did. Sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow." The Gondorian tried to keep me from walking away but I didn't listen. For the first time I wasn't so sure anymore if he wouldn't lay a hand on me. I wanted to help him, to talk to him and be there. But not when he acted like this.
It took me an awful long time to finally fall asleep, thoughts of Boromir keeping my mind busy for a long time. And even after I managed to drift off, the Gondorian haunted my dreams.