Disclaimer: I just sewed a hole in one of my shoes closed, because I don't want to go out a buy another pair…what makes you think I could possibly own the Naruto franchise?
Kakashi leaped gracefully over the rooftops to the Hokage tower after finally returning after a weeklong mission. Normally, he'd head over to the memorial stone and wait for a couple of hours. Normally, it wasn't the day after graduation and normally he didn't want a team of genin.
However, today wasn't normal. He actually wanted a specific team and he was hoping the Hokage would grant him his request. So, to make a good impression, he was trying to be on time. Which, ironically enough, was rather difficult after years of being chronically late. He clutched his mission report tightly as he leaped up to the window of the Hokage's office, wondering briefly whether he should actually use the door for once before deciding against it and slipping into the room quietly. He didn't want to give the Hokage a heart attack, after all.
The Hokage smiled tiredly at him and waved off a frantic looking Hayato.
"But, Hokage-sama, I can't! I'm not…"
"You'll be fine, Hayate. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful Sensei." The Hokage smiled benignly his eyes dancing with amusement.
Kakashi felt a small grin tug at his lips at the utter exasperation the tokubetsu jounin managed to put into one long sigh. Apparently, this argument had been going on for a long time. His heart went out to the other man. He had received a similar lecture every time the Hokage tried to give him a team in the past.
Understanding that the conversation was done and there was nothing he could do to change the Hokage's mind, Hayate gave a stiff bow and stalked out of the room.
Kakashi watched him go before setting his report down on the desk and waited silently as the Hokage went over the details, asking questions where clarification was needed. He glanced briefly around the room, noting the three extra anbu, before turning his gaze back to the Hokage as the man sighed heavily.
"Is there something wrong with my report, Hokage-sama?"
"No, no." The Hokage pulled out his pipe and took a deep breath before releasing slowly. "Your report is perfect as usual and I'm glad your mission was successful. Unfortunately, we've had some issue here."
Kakashi tensed slightly, his mind flashing to the large amount of patrols he saw while rushing to the Hokage tower.
"I had fully planned on give you team seven with both the Uzumaki twins. It was only right to continue the tradition and I knew that you wanted to make amends..." He straightened as the Hokage's eyes landed on him gleaming with power. "Kakashi, I have to know that you are capable of handling traumatized children."
He froze.
"H-Hokage-sama?" Kakashi hesitated for a moment not sure how to answer this question.
"Last night, Natsuki was kidnapped by Mizuki a teacher at the academy. From what we've gathered he was planning on using the boy as a hostage in order to flee with the Scroll of Seals. Luckily, Iruka Umino and Genma Shiranui managed to find him with Naruto's help. However, things went south when they tried to confront him…" The man sighed. "Kakashi, in order to protect his brother, Naruto was forced to kill Mizuki."
Kakashi didn't say anything nor show any outward sign of shock or disgust. He simply lowered his head and sighed. He knew better than most about the sacrifices and sorrows that came with being a shinobi. Killing was inevitable and death was an occupational hazard. He ran his hand through his hair trying to think of the right response as the Hokage waited silently for his answer. He wasn't the best person to teach these kids. He knew it. The Hokage knew it. The only chance he had at teaching the twins was because their father was his teacher and Konoha believed strongly in not breaking what works. He was sure that the Hokage had numerous doubts about letting him teach them, but he was willing to overlook it with the Uchiha boy graduating and his connection to the twin's father. Kakashi himself was sure there was someone else who'd be a better fit for the job.
But…
They were Sensei's kids.
He promised Sensei he'd look out for them.
He straightened his shoulders and looked the Hokage in the eye…
Kurama stared at the ceiling silently.
He flexed his hands slowly as he tried to even his breathing. It was suffocating with the negative emotions in the air was nearly physical, but he didn't want to leave his brother alone. Said brother was curled on the bed as Kurama hovered worriedly on the edge. He turned and looked at the lump under the covers. Naruto had shivered and shook though-out the night, but he was now still. Almost eerily so.
He opened his mouth to say something, before closing it again when he realized he didn't know what to say.
The concept of death wasn't one he dwelled on as an immortal being composed of chakra.
The only death that had affected him was Hagoromo's.
He had never put much thought into humans, much less their deaths. He knew he had killed many humans over the years, not to mention the numerous deaths that occurred when he was forced to attack the village twelve years ago. It was only after he became human that he started to realize the impact death had on humans.
He touched his chest, feeling the rhythmic beat of his heart.
Humans felt so much.
Now that he was a human himself he had noticed that, even though he knew it wasn't his fault, he still felt a twinge of guilt knowing the death and destruction he caused. It was difficult some days to meet Iruka's eyes knowing he was the one who killed his parents. It was difficult to meet Naruto's eyes on some days, knowing what he did about their parentage.
"Is, that is…did the demon kill our parents, do you think? The Hokage always said our parents died that night…do you think…"
He took a deep breath trying to calm his frazzled nerves.
The realization he came to in his mental world had shaken him to the core. He felt unbalanced and suddenly very, very small. It didn't help that as soon as he woke up they had to flee for their lives from an insane teacher that he failed to realize was a threat. With his nerves frazzled and a head wound that was still healing, he could do very little when Mizuki lunged at them that final time.
Now Naruto was suffering.
He looked back down at his brother.
One part of him wanted to tell him, that it was alright. He wanted to tell Naruto that he did the right thing. Mizuki was an enemy and needed to be stopped by any means necessary. He wanted to say that his death didn't matter. Mizuki threatened them and Naruto took care of him. That part was the bijuu speaking. Practical as ever and less inclined to feel sympathy or any of those weak human emotions.
Another part of him, the human part, mourned his brother's sudden loss of innocence. He understood the misplaced guilt and the fear. He watched as the blond scrubbed his hands raw when they got home, only stopping when Kurama forced him too. He knew Naruto has repeated that night over and over again in his mind right now. This part of him was tongue-tied and uncertain.
How could he tell his brother that he understood?
How could he explain that he understood this because he was the one who killed their parents along with a good portion of Konoha?
How could he say that he felt nothing when he did it, but now that he had spent twelve years as a human he felt guilty and upset over his actions?
"…you're saying that we have a…a monster inside of us? A-A demon that almost d-destroyed the village?"
He flinched and took another breath.
He needed to pull himself together.
Kurama looked at his brother, who still hadn't moved. He didn't want to leave him, but he needed to get away from the negative energy the boy was admitting. It wasn't helping his mental state. It was already fragile and Naruto's emotions were just making it worse.
A knock on the door broke the silence in the apartment. He heard Iruka, who had been hovering around the apartment all morning, answer the door and talk softly to whoever was there. Then three sets of footstep marched into their main room.
He sighed and reached over to tap what he assumed was Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, we have company."
"Mnffm" Was all the response he got before Naruto jerked into a sitting position.
Kurama helped his brother disentangle himself from the blanket. Once the boy was free he gave him a once over and winced. Pale face, with red-rimmed eyes and deep shadows.
"The bags under your eyes are nearly as deep as mine." He muttered without thinking.
It startled a short laugh out of the other boy. "No one can beat your raccoon eyes, Natsu."
Kurama huffed and rolled his eyes, as he tried to hide his relief. The boy looked like hell, but if he was still able to joke Kurama knew that he'd be fine.
Iruka cracked open the door and sent them a gentle smile. "Boys, you have some guest that need to talk with you."
"Yes, Iruka-sensei," Kurama replied as he pulled Naruto to a standing position. "Naruto needs to get dressed first, though."
"Of course, take your time." The man closed the door softly.
Naruto shuffled his feet and rubbed his arm nervously. "I don't wanna talk to anyone."
"I know, but we have too," Kurama replied.
Maybe it was completely selfish, but Kurama was drowning in all of Naruto's negative emotions. He hoped that interacting with other people will help his brother get back to normal. He could only hope that the people in their living room weren't going to antagonize them more. Judging from Iruka's relaxed expression when he peeked his head in, Kurama didn't think they meant harm. He corralled his reluctant brother into becoming presentable before shuffling him out of their bedroom door.
There were two new people in the living room. He didn't recognize either of them immediately, though the one with the senbon needle sticking out of his mouth did look familiar. It took him a moment to realize that he was the other shinobi from last night that apparently helped Naruto search for him and tried to fight off Mizuki. He tried reaching out to test his emotions, but they alluded him.
The other was someone he didn't know, but it judging by his pale blue eyes and long blond hair he was one of those mind reading clan members. He eyed the man warily. With the Uchiha now dead and gone the Yamanaka clan was the most threatening in his current situation. He dreaded the thought of one of their members messing with his head and learning his secret. He felt Naruto grab his sleeve and could feel the waves of nearly physical anxiety coming off of the other boy. He narrowed his eyes at the two, silently demanding for them to explain their presence.
Of course, neither of the two shinobi seemed very threatened by his suspicious glare. He barely held himself back from growling like an animal.
(They should fear him)
(They should tremble at his very presence)
He bit down on his tongue trying to reign his temper. This was neither the time nor place to get angry over his current form.
The man with the senbon in his mouthed grin and waved at them in a lazy manner. "Yo. In case you squirts forgot, my name's Genma Shiranui. The Hokage order me to give you your reward for last night's mission."
"Mission?" Kurama tilted his head to the side and glanced at Naruto, who was looking at his feet.
"Yup. Rescue, retrieval of the Scroll of Seals, and elimination of a traitor. Hokage has ranked it an A-class mission, so you'll be receiving an award equal to the rank." He wiggled his eyebrows at them. "You kiddos are lucky, A rank missions pay very well. Not to mention this will go on your official records. You can brag to your friends about it. Most shinobi don't get A ranks until they are at least jounin level, outside of wartime."
"But, before that." The Yamanaka cut in quickly. "My name is Yamanaka Itsuki and I'm here for a psychological examination."
Kurama glared at him again. "You're not rooting in mine nor Naruto's head."
"Natsuki!" Iruka looked scandalized. Kurama didn't really blame him. He knew he was acting out of character.
Genma, on the other hand, burst out laughing as the blonde blinked in surprise. The Yamanaka smiled warmly after seemingly getting over his surprise.
"Don't worry, I won't be 'rooting around' in either of your heads. I'll just be performing a simple examination that all shinobi have to go through after their first bloody mission or first kill. I'll just be asking questions, not performing mind jutsu." He chuckled. "If it makes you feel any better I've always been terrible at them despite it being my clan's signature jutsus. That's why I'm a medic and not an active duty shinobi."
Kurama eyes him for a minute as he tried to find any trace of negative emotions or intentions in his aura. The man stood there calmly as Kurama analyzed him. After finding nothing incriminating he glanced back at Naruto. The boy gave him a shaky smile. Kurama sighed.
"Ok, I guess."
The Yamanaka inclined his head. "Thank you, Natsuki. Now, Naruto? Would you mind coming with me to talk privately?"
Kurama watched silently as Naruto was shuffled back into their room.
"Sit down and calm down, kid. Itsuki is practically a saint. He would never hurt your brother." The other shinobi flopped down on the couch and grinned at him.
Kurama eyes him a moment before sitting down at the table. Iruka sat down with him giving him a soft smile.
"He's right, Natsuki. Naruto will be alright. It's just a mandatory exam shinobi have to go through after their first kill. It will help him."
There was a bout of awkward silence. Kurama could her the soft mutter of Naruto's voice in the other room. If he stained he could probably-
"This couch sucks ass."
"Genma! Language!"
The man ignored Iruka and looked at Kurama with a grin. "I propose that you buy a new couch with the money from this mission. It's a nice sum, you'll have money left over even if do get a more expensive couch."
Kurama eyed him for a moment. He seemed genuinely friendly, but it was difficult to get a read on his emotions. Every time he tried to grasp at them they floated away like smoke on the breeze. He wanted to growl, but refrained and instead eyed the man suspiciously. Iruka sighed.
"Honestly, you never treated me this way, Natsuki, even when we first met. Genma's only here to help and you're being very rude."
Kurama twitched slightly at the reprimand and turned his gaze to the wall instead. Iruka sighed heavily.
"Don't worry 'bout it Iruka." There was a hint of laughter in Genma's voice. "It's my fault really. I've been making it difficult for him to sense my emotions."
Kurama glanced at him sharply. The man was grinning at him, but his eyes were sharp. Kurama stilled as he felt the man's emotions finally become solid enough for him to reach. They were a tangled mess, but none of them were threatening. He could sense sadness, mixed in with regret and guilt.
"I had wondered if you had your mother's ability. Sorry if I put you on edge, Natsuki." There was pain in his eyes, Kurama realized. That's what made them sharp. "I noticed Naruto had a bit of it last night, but you seem to have more control. Probably even more than your mother had when she was alive."
"What are you talking about?" Iruka questioned as he glanced between them.
"Empathy. The ability to sense emotions. Kushina once told me that negative emotions or intentions were the easiest to sense, but if she concentrated hard enough she could sense others. She said it was a 'gift' from the Fox."
Kurama tried not to grimace at the mention of his…mother. The subject of his…parents was still a complicated one for him.
"So, you knew our mother?"
The question slipped out before his brain had time to process what he was asking. Genma grinned lazily, but Kurama caught the sharp stab of grief that his expression didn't betray.
"I knew you, father, better."
Kurama nearly scowled at the non-answer. He opened his mouth to comment, but the irritating shinobi just waved his hand in a dismissive manner.
"Sorry kid, can't tell you anything more."
This time Kurama did scowl. He didn't know why he even bothered asking in the first place. He had figured out a while ago that their parentage was a secret along with their jinchuuriki status. He had come to care for the Hokage during the last twelve years, however, that didn't stop him from questioning the man's decision to keep his brother and him in the dark about their parentage.
"Why did you even bother mentioning them in the first place?" Iruka murmured tiredly.
Kurama wondered whether the man got any sleep last night. He had brought them home, but stayed out in the living room to give them some space. He looked down at the table, suddenly feeling exhausted himself.
"Hm, I suppose you're right." Genma's voice sounded faintly amused. "I guess I'll have to make it up to you then, Natsuki-kun. How about I teach you and your brother a new jutsu? I bet you'll both love it. I'll tell the Hokage that it's part of the reward for the mission."
Kurama glanced at him. If he wasn't so irritated with the man he'd be impressed with that backwards, sort-of bribery. Not that he planned on informing the Hokage that the man had mostly broken a law by mentioning his…parents to him. It didn't look like the shinobi was really worried about that though. If he had he'd be bribing Iruka as well.
Maybe references were fine, but outright telling them who they were was against the law.
"What jutsu?"
Kurama didn't know a human could grin so wide. He wondered how the senbon stayed in his mouth.
"It's called the shadow-clone jutsu."
That fact that Iruka's immediate response was to shout "Absolutely not!" made Kurama twice as interested.
As it turns out he should have been more wary about learning this jutsu. As soon as Naruto and the Yamanaka stepped out of the bedroom, Genma had the twins under each of his arms and was racing across the village to the training grounds with a complaining Iruka right behind him.
They were dropped as soon as Genma landed in the field. Iruka was on Genma in a second dragging him a few feet away to lecture him. Kurama heard something about kidnapping children who had just been kidnapped and something about not teaching them this jutsu. He distinctly heard what sounded like 'can't it be something else?'.
Naruto got a mouth full of grass and had to spend a minute picking it out of his teeth instead of question what was going on. Kurama took pity on him and explained.
"Genma said he was going to teach us a jutsu, as part of the payment for the mission."
Might as well not mention the fact that the man knew their parents. Naruto would never let that sort of information slide away, even if he had to stalk the man.
"Huh." Naruto spat out the last piece of grace with a grimace. "He isn't taking our money is he?"
Kurama smiled. "No, this is just extra."
"Well cool!"
Kurama analyzed the grin on the blonds face with a critical eye. His eyes were still red, which made Kurama wonder if he had been crying during the evaluation with the Yamanaka, but he looked a lot better than before. Naruto saw his concern and his smiled softened.
"Sorry for makin' ya worry. I…" He looked down at his hands for a moment.
"You don't have to be here if you don't want too," Kurama replied softly. "We can go back home if you want."
"Nah, I'll be okay." His grin was a bit shaky, but he seemed determined enough to pretend everything was fine that Kurama decided to go along with it for now.
"So, what jutsu is Genma-san teaching us?"
"It's called the Shadow-clone jutsu!"
They both jumped as the shinobi in question appeared before them. Iruka was looking utterly defeated behind him.
"Naruto! Don't use this for your pranks." The brunet teacher snapped irritably.
Kurama raised his eyebrow, as a bubble of worry welled up within him. What exactly was this jutsu?
"Uh, o-okay Iruka-sensei." Naruto stuttered, looing taken back.
Iruka nodded firmly before gesturing for Genma to continue. The other shinobi grinned widely.
"Ok, this jutsu is basically a higher version of the basic clone technique."
Kurama held back a groan. Genma winked at him, making Kurama wonder if the man knew how bad he was at the basic technique or was just reading his facial expressions.
"Watch closing my temporary students!" His hands went through the proper hand movements slowly.
There was a poof of white smoke and suddenly there were two Genma's on either side of the original. All three of them were grinning.
"Now, the difference between the jutsu you guys were taught and this one is number one, the amount of chakra needed and, number two, the fact that these clones are solid. Watch."
His clone's move away from them and began a sparring match. Their fists and feet collided with one another in a deadly dance as they watched.
"Cool!" Naruto exclaimed
"Isn't it!" Genma replied. "Now it's your turn, my temporary students!"
It took twelve tries for Naruto to get his first clone, but from there he went wild and created twenty more. Genma looked surprised and faintly worried while Iruka just looked like he had resigned himself to a miserable fate.
Kurama, himself, was torn between being happy that his brother was enjoying himself despite what happened last night and horrified over the fact that his brother could now multiply himself. He felt a headache forming.
It didn't help when thirty copies of his brother started trying to instruct him on how to do the jutsu. He almost started liking Genma for taking potshots at his brother's clones to get rid of them with the added bonus of distracting them from himself.
He managed the jutsu in the end and sighed in relief once he did. The proud smile Iruka sent him, nearly made up for Genma ruffling his hair roughly.
"Good job, Natsu!" Naruto was bouncing in place grinning like a loon.
Kurama let a smile of his own slip onto his face as his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.
At least Naruto was happy.
"Well, now that you guys have mastered this jutsu, I'll be on my way." Genma pulled a thick envelope out of one of his vest pockets. "Here's your mission reward, by the way, I'll be expecting a new couch when I visit again."
"Who says we'll let you in the door?" Kurama murmured, but without any real heat. He supposed the shinobi was alright, even if he was irritating.
"Who said I'd use the door?"
He laughed at the scowl Kurama sent him. "See you kids around and good luck with your team placements tomorrow!"
With that said, the man disappeared in a swirl of leaves that had Naruto shouting in surprise. Kurama shook his head and looked up at the sky, noting how late it had gotten. Had they really spend most of the day learning that jutsu?
"Hey, Natsu?" Naruto tugged on his sleeve. "Can we go talk?"
Kurama paused and glanced at Iruka.
The man merely smiled and waved them off. "Go talk, I'll head back home and make dinner for you guys. Don't stay out too late, alright?"
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei!"
After leaving Iruka, they found themselves sitting on top of the Hokage monument, or more specifically the Yondiame's head. Kurama still wasn't certain how he felt about that fact that this was Naruto's favorite spot to think.
Kurama stared up at the sky quietly. There were a few pebbled digging into his back, but he was too exhausted to sit up at the moment. Besides, he was waiting quietly for his brother to find his words.
"Natsu?" Naruto fidgeted for a moment before seemingly finding the resolve to say what he wanted. "Yamanaka-san said that killing was part of the shinobi's job."
"Yeah," Kurama answered quietly. "Iruka taught that to us in school, you know."
"Yeah, but…" Naruto frowned. "It didn't seem as real back then, you know? I thought, well, I guess I thought that I wouldn't have to. I thought we could just do good things and save people…I-I really wanted to save people. So, when I-I stabbed Mizuki-sen…When I killed him, I thought that I had already failed. But, Yamanaka-san…he told me that sometimes, in order to protect the people you care about, you have to make a choice."
The blond was silent for a long moment.
"So, I've decided. I've made my choice." Naruto grinned at him widely. "I've decided that I'll always protect the people I care about, no matter what. That's my nindō, my ninja way."
Despite the grin, there was steel in his eyes.
I want to protect you too.
He wanted to say those words. They were on the tip of his tongue, but he knew they would sound cheap. After all, what has he truly done for this boy?
Getting himself kidnapped and beaten by a teacher? His weakness is what put Naruto in the position where he had to kill another human being.
Lie to him about being his true brother? He could pretend that he was protecting the boy from the truth, but he knew deep down he was actually protecting himself.
"…you're saying that we have a…a monster inside of us? A-A demon that almost d-destroyed the village?"
He closed his eyes.
"I'm sure you will Naruto. You're going to be Hokage someday, after all."
"That true! I'll protect everyone in the village!"
"Yeah."
"Oooh, I can't wait! We're getting our teams tomorrow! I wonder who our teammate will be!? I hope it's Sakura, she's so pretty!"
"She's a bit violent, though."
"Yeah, a bit, but she's super smart too. Do you think our sensei will be cool? I hope so! Can't wait! We're going to be awesome ninjas! I just know it!"
"Yeah."
Uh, hi…? Yeah, I know it has been a long time since I last updated. I'm really sorry about that. I think I mentioned this before, but I'm in college right now. In fact, I'm close to the end with only three semesters left. So, basically, I've been super busy. I tried to write a little bit throughout this semester, but I could never actually finish this chapter until today. I have a five-week break right now, so I'll try to write as much as I can until the next semester (which will probably worse than this last one). I'm planning on having the next chapter up by Wednesday.
Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing! I cannot believe I managed to break a hundred reviews with only nine chapters. That's is truly amazing and I absolutely love reading your responses! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story!
Btw, I was listening to BriCie's song Kisetsu wa Tsugitsugi Shindeiku (it's another Tokyo ghoul song, lol) while finishing this and I couldn't help but make connections between this story and some of the lines in the song. Especially this one 'Be careful, I'll protect you. Even if I'm just this lonely monster'. You guys should check it out if you haven't already heard it. It's a good song, whether you watched Toyko Ghoul or not.