Part Sixty-Four. The Agreement
It was something, being alive again.
Wheatley'd been dead before, obviously. It wasn't a time he liked thinking about, because it'd been extraordinarily painful, and had involved some sort of automatic restart, the details of which he was still pretty fuzzy on. GLaDOS and Carrie were always happy to see him, but to be honest, he didn't really like it. He felt as though some part of them were absent. His ladies were fiery and fierce, but not so much right now. He didn't mean to be ungrateful, but he hoped that changed soon.
It did for GLaDOS a day or so after his return, when the scientists at Black Mesa mentioned they were going to reconnect her to the facility. She didn't wait a single second to get back into her systems, and both her relief and her satisfaction were palpable, at least to him. Even he didn't know the full scope of what went on in her head as the Central Core, but it seemed that lacking control and tasks to complete really had been driving her stir-crazy.
"There was… something we wanted to discuss with you, my dear, if we may," one of the scientists said, a shortish, nervous scientist with only a ring of white and grey fuzz wrapped around the back of his head for hair. He had a habit of pushing up his glasses that must have been quite severe, for Wheatley to have noticed it, and he had a sort of… reverential respect for GLaDOS. Wheatley had yet to discover why. He'd never before met a scientist in awe of her before, though of course they all should have been, so it was a bit weird. But reasonable.
"And what would that be," GLaDOS said, her voice flat. Wheatley tried to stay still. It seemed the scientist had no idea that GLaDOS disliked being asked to do things by… well, anyone, really.
"The Combine," said the lady who'd come in with the scientist. He'd only seen her a few times, but he liked her brash forcefulness, though honestly she was a bit frightening. She was much darker-skinned than the scientist and wrapped in shades of brown. She also had quite a bit more hair. "We all know they're on their way."
"And?"
"Combining our efforts would be the best strategy from here on in," the scientist said. Before he could continue, GLaDOS laughed.
"And what would you have to contribute? Look. I can handle myself. I have re-evaluated my stratagems and will require no aid from a bunch of mangy humans that only learned to fire their weapons yesterday."
"Mangy," the lady started to say, but the scientist held out his arm sideways in front of her, his fingers spread out.
"Alyx. Allow me." He looked up at GLaDOS, and Wheatley honestly thought he might get through to her. For whatever it was he wanted. This man did hold a respect for her, for some reason, and he knew GLaDOS would appreciate that and probably be flattered. He hoped the man didn't realise it, but she was pretty easy to convince when she was flattered.
"We know you are perfectly capable of handling things on your own. There's no doubt about that," the scientist continued. "However… this fight is not your responsibility. It is ours, and you have been forced into… shouldering it, as it were. I admit I'm not fully informed on the activities surrounding your inception and operations, but I'm not certain your distrust of us is founded. I will admit that the circumstances that brought this situation about were, in part, due to things under our control, but… from what Alyx has told us, there may be something at work here we do not understand. And it is something you have more knowledge of than us. In the end, I suppose what I'm trying to say is… we are only attempting to clean up our own mess. I don't deny that you have the capability to deal with anything that comes your way. We only ask that you help us to help you."
"You have yet to mention how you would be of any help to me." To Wheatley, she sounded as though she were considering it. To them, it probably sounded as though she'd never agree. She was so nuanced, sometimes, he thought fondly. He'd almost managed to forget how complex she could be, what with her subdued behaviour lately.
"As we understand it," the scientist answered, folding his fingers together, "it was sheer numbers that overwhelmed you."
"That will not happen again."
"Yeah, if you'll just work with us," Alyx said, frowning. "What's your problem, anyway? We all want the same thing, right? What's going on here?"
"I don't want to discuss it," GLaDOS said flatly. "In any case, I will consider it."
Alyx threw up her hands and turned around, shaking her head. "We don't have time for you to consider it. They're coming here right now!"
"By my estimate they will not be here for two weeks," GLaDOS told her calmly. "As I have only just been given permission to access my systems, I have very recently received information from my observation satellites, which indicates they are still regrouping. Some of them have begun their approach, but are moving quite slowly. They require a lot of equipment to even think about planning an assault on my facility. The trains they normally use for transport are, for the most part, inoperable. I have plenty of time."
"Very well," the scientist said, nodding. "We'll leave you to consider it. In any case, thank you for your time."
GLaDOS only responded with a nod, and turned to Wheatley when the two of them had gone. "Well?"
"Well… well what," he asked confusedly.
"Any thoughts?"
"Well I… I was thinking about… pencils," he stuttered, not really sure why she was interested in such a thing. "They've this, this stuff in them to let you write, right? And… and how d'you get it out of the ground without marking ev'rything up? And – " He stopped when he saw her incredulous stare. "That… wasn't really what you were asking after, was it."
"The humans," GLaDOS said emphatically. "What did you think of what they said."
"Ah," Wheatley answered to give himself a minute to think. "Well… um… d'you really want to save the world for the humans, luv? 'cause that's what you're going to um, to end up doing, you know. You'll be uh, be saving it for them, be doing all the work, and uh, and they'll just… um…"
"Rewrite history to claim they did it all on their own, no doubt," she interrupted bitterly. "I suppose I do have to put up with them, then."
"You don't have to uh, to let them hang 'round in here," he told her.
"If we are to have any hopes of succeeding, I think I do." She narrowed her optic, but she also seemed to be looking at something he couldn't see. "They're going to need instruction. In the past, they have relied on luck and one man's capacity for destruction. I'm not going to be doing that. They're going to need… help."
"Ah," Wheatley said, hoping he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you."
Bollocks. "Uh… not really."
She shook her core and didn't say anything further. This went on for so long that Wheatley decided to track down Carrie for a bit. Seemed GLaDOS had some stewing to do and he wasn't going to be of much help with that.
Carrie was busy, though, playing some sort of game with that giant robot thing called Dog. That confused Wheatley. It wasn't a dog, and it didn't look like one, so why did they call it that? Then he remembered he had nothing to do with wheat whatsoever and put it out of his mind.
He returned to GLaDOS's chamber, but froze before entering, because there in front of her was… the lady. Not the lady with the fuzzy hair, either. The lady. Wheatley didn't even want to think her name, because he was worried she'd read his mind and know he was there if he did, though of course that made him think of it. But for all her brain-damaged skill, she didn't seem able to do that, so if he just stayed quiet things would be fine and he'd go unnoticed.
"Can we have some? Please, GLaDOS. There's none of that stuff left here anymore."
"I'm not understanding why that has anything to do with me."
"You don't even need it!" Alyx declared, folding her arms. GLaDOS's optic sharpened for a moment.
"No. I don't. But I have it regardless, and if I didn't we would not be having this conversation."
"You're already going to give it to us," the lady said. "You're just drawing this out to watch us squirm. Aren't you."
GLaDOS laughed. "Maybe."
"You're kidding." Alyx groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Is this… a thing you do?"
"Yes," the lady and GLaDOS said simultaneously.
"In any case," GLaDOS continued, "I must do everything in my power to ensure things go well. If that includes depleting the Depository for now, well… as much as I dislike the thought, that is what we will do."
"Have you… modified the stuff at all?" the lady asked. GLaDOS looked away from her in consideration.
"Not really. It's more of a hobby for me than anything. But it's hard to add onto a collection when the space you culled your collection from no longer exists."
"So you have real food here," Alyx said, stepping forward. "Like… stuff that's not… dusty."
GLaDOS narrowed her optic, insulted. "Dusty? What sort of facility do you think this is? … Black Mesa?"
Wheatley, although admittedly he'd not been around them long for quite a few years, did not think he'd ever seen a human's face lose its expression so quickly.
"That was an accident," Alyx told her coldly. GLaDOS regarded her as sideways as was possible.
"We don't have accidents here."
"You're about to," the human muttered, clenching her fists, and if Wheatley hadn't been hiding he'd've advised her not to threaten a recently upgraded omnipotent supercomputer. But GLaDOS only looked at her coolly.
"Go ahead. Do that. See how far you get. Even if you succeed – which you will not – you're here in the first place because you cannot win the war without my help. Aren't you."
"We have to take this from her?" Alyx hissed into the lady's ear, but the lady only glanced at her and didn't answer.
"I know it's been a while, GLaDOS," the lady said in a quiet voice, "but do you really have to do that right now?"
"Does she really have to make demands of me as if I bow to commands?" GLaDOS returned coldly. "In my facility?"
"Alyx. Let me talk to her for a minute," the lady said. "This might go a little faster."
Alyx narrowed her eyes at GLaDOS but responded to the implied question, leaving the room briskly with her fists still tight. The lady then looked back up at GLaDOS, impassive.
"What's the plan."
"They're going to need training."
"They've fought the Combine before. They know what they're doing."
"Chell." GLaDOS's voice had taken a serious note. "They do not. A maniac hacking away at the enemy with a rusty piece of bent metal is not someone who knows what they're doing. It's someone doing their best with what they have. I already know that the best weapon to use against them is the High Energy Pellets – which, incidentally, were stolen from Black Mesa after being stolen from me. Luckily for all of us, I happen to have the apparatus which was intended to be used alongside the Pellets, not one that is retrofitted and unstable, as the Combine has now. I don't want to allow the humans access to my technology. I am not trying to argue in favour of my superiority, as outrageous as that sounds even to myself. But I cannot take any risks this time. Everyone you have must be informed of every piece of information you have gathered, no matter how seemingly insignificant. They must all know exactly what they're doing and they must all know to the extent that they do not have to think about it."
"I'm not saying I don't believe you," the lady said. "But how do they know you're not just going to close all the doors and… do your thing?"
GLaDOS looked in Wheatley's direction, and though he glanced quickly 'round to check if any of the panels could see him, he wasn't sure she knew he was there.
"I won't."
"That's not going to sway anybody."
The fatigue of yesterday seemed to weigh on her a moment, and then she said:
"If I weren't reasonably certain the stress would destroy the facility, I would already have moved it. I don't want to have to depend on any human, let alone an entire horde of lunatics who think they're soldiers. I do not want this. But neither what I nor what the humans want is important. We can't have what we want until this is dealt with."
"And what do you want."
"I want humans to get the hell away from me."
"So you have no desire to… test anyone, for example."
"Desire? No. Need? Yes. But I am not so weak-willed as that. I just told you. I don't want anything to do with any of you anymore. If that means I never test again, fine. I just want you all far away from me."
The lady grinned. "You're the one who moved in."
"By no intention of mine, believe me," GLaDOS sighed. "No matter where I go, even though my going anywhere is extremely rare, you humans are always underfoot, as it were."
"But anyway," the lady went on, "don't tell me you never considered disguising whatever little training exercises you've cooked up as tests."
"I may have done something like that."
Wheatley was mildly surprised she hadn't already started, if that was her plan, but then remembered she'd only been fully online for about twelve hours. She was fast, but her caution in this case obviously took precedence.
"So why are you saying you're not going to test?"
"I can't."
Now those were words Wheatley rarely heard from he
The lady looked as surprised as he must've. "You can't?"
GLaDOS shook her core. "In order to meet testing criteria, all the protocols must be observed."
"And that means…"
"To shorten a long explanation… portals will not be required for any reason whatsoever."
"I see." The lady folded her arms and frowned. "You certainly go to quite the lengths to kick people out of your house."
"I wouldn't have to if they'd be polite enough to locate the exit themselves. I've already had to… guide several curious visitors in the right direction."
"I'll make you a deal," the lady said. GLaDOS moved back a little.
"What sort of deal."
"Be nice and I'll test for you."
"I may need a more detailed definition of 'nice'," GLaDOS returned, doing her best to sound disinterested but not quite succeeding.
"Civil? How about civil."
"I might be able to do that. I'll consider it."
"And only if you turn the… rewards thing off."
They looked away from each other.
"That's not something I want to be thinking about when – "
"It won't happen."
"It reset for – "
"It didn't reset. It merely came into effect to subdue the new core. It will never happen to me again."
"You're sure."
"Chell," GLaDOS said, bordering on exasperated, "I already tested ten thousand humans after the Incident. Yes. I am sure, after ten thousand test subjects, that it will never happen again."
"Ten thousand…" the lady whispered.
"They were mostly brain-dead," GLaDOS said disdainfully, shaking her core. "The rest idiots and cowards. Not much better than brain-dead, honestly. In any case, we will never see eye-to-eye on that subject, so I suggest we move on."
The lady didn't look quite certain she'd be able to do such a thing, but she decided against arguing. "So you're going to let us join forces?"
"If I must," GLaDOS answered. "And it seems I must. I would ask that you advise them against treating me like an inanimate object. … something… might happen if that is something that occurs with any regularity."
"GLaDOS," the lady said, rubbing her forehead, "if you kill them they can't kill the Combine, and nobody will trust you. And – "
"Nobody trusts me and I doubt anyone will in the future. So. Don't think I'll be too concerned with what – "
"I do," the lady said. GLaDOS looked at her sharply.
"You don't have to say that," she said after a pause, turning a little, probably trying to keep her optic off of the lady without it being too obvious.
"We both know that."
Wheatley was quite unnerved by the way the lady kept bringing GLaDOS to a standstill. He had never seen someone out-argue her quite like this, but… that wasn't all of it. Part of it was something the lady sort of… commanded from GLaDOS. Not that anyone would ever command GLaDOS and live to tell about it, but it was as though GLaDOS were doing it to herself…
It was respect, Wheatley realised, a little jealously. It was subtle but that was definitely what it was. He had to wonder why she didn't talk to him like that. She had to respect him, right? That came with being in love with someone, didn't it?
He missed what they said next, but when he went back to paying attention GLaDOS was putting something in the lady's hand. She looked down at whatever it was and started laughing.
"What?" GLaDOS said, in her best innocent voice – which was not really that innocent at all. "You asked for something from the Depository, didn't you?"
"Of all the things you must have in there, you had to give me an apple?"
Wheatley froze. GLaDOS really did pay attention to everything.
"I have a lot of them. It won't be missed. All right. It will be missed, but not as much as… say… "
"Don't! Don't say it." The lady held up her empty hand and took a step back. "I know where you're going with that."
GLaDOS snickered. "If you insist. Now take your prize and go. Hide it or wave it in Miss Vance's face, if you prefer. Get someone to make up a list of what you need. And I mean that literally. Nothing frivolous. And no, I do not have chocolate."
"GLaDOS!" the lady gasped. "I thought you had everything!"
"Chocolate does not grow on trees, little human," GLaDOS told her serenely. "I have no interest in producing something I have no intention of using."
"All right then," the lady nodded. "See you later."
Wheatley tracked her for a minute or two, then finally entered GLaDOS's chamber. As soon as he did so she asked, without looking at him, "Why did you wait out there for so long?"
"I uh… thought it… was a private conversation," he stammered, realising almost immediately that it was a stupid excuse, since he'd just eavesdropped on the whole thing. She looked at him now, core tilted and the top half of her lens raised.
"Mm. You were entirely focused on privacy. Out there. In the hallway. Where you were listening."
"Um… yeah… ?" was all he could come up with. She laughed, which was when he knew he wasn't in trouble.
"Well, I did as you advised. I agreed to help the humans. Happy?"
"W… what does that have to do with anything?" he asked, honestly confused. "Why're you asking me that?"
She shrugged. "You're the one who suggested it. I thought that news might be something you wanted to hear."
"'s not like I decided on it, really," he said, moving closer. "It… it was really the only, the, the only thing you could've done."
She nodded. "Unfortunately."
"But when you were um, when you were talking to her, you… you let her… talk over you."
"And?"
"You never let anyone do that. Not… even when, when I do it, you get angry. But…" He was starting to regret bringing it up. What did he mean by this, anyway? For her to admit that she didn't respect him? As if she'd even admit such a thing. "You respect her, don't you."
"What difference does it make."
"You let her do it, and… and not me."
"I didn't realise you wanted to talk over me so badly," GLaDOS remarked dryly. "So you think that just because I allow her to interrupt me that I respect her over you. Is that it?"
When she put it like that, he felt even sillier. "Um… kind of."
"No," GLaDOS said bluntly. "I don't. Arguing with her is useless. That's all it is. And it's not a contest, Wheatley."
He frowned. "Yes it is. I know you've, you've lists of these things in your head, someplace. I'd just like to be at the top 's all."
"Of course you are," GLaDOS answered. "You're at the top of lots of them."
"Really?" Wheatley said, moving forward eagerly, and she nodded.
"Of course. Most Annoying, Most Moronic, Talks Too Much, Most Useless, Most Likely to Make Me Forget What I Was Doing, Most Likely to Say Something Stupid, Least – "
"Wait! Hang on, hang on," Wheatley said, realising with a bit of a thrill that she actually stopped talking. "Go back to um, to that, that one about forgetting things."
"That… was not one of the ones I meant to list."
"I know," Wheatley grinned. "That's why I want to hear it again!"
"What was I doing, before all of this," she muttered to herself, and Wheatley knew he had to make a move before it was too late.
"How about you um, you forget about it, and uh, and do something. Else. With me."
"I really should at least figure out what it was…"
"It can wait!" Wheatley pressed. "'course it can. Best to um, to relax before you've got to do things for the war, eh? Play checkers with me instead. C'mon. It'll be much better than uh, than whatever you're thinking of doing."
"Undoubtedly," GLaDOS agreed. "That's not very responsible, however."
"Ah, rebellion! Even better. Here, I'll fetch it," Wheatley said, doing just that. She didn't react as he set it up and settled next to her, but when he was all done that she did take out a maintenance arm for herself.
"All right," she said resignedly, though Wheatley was confident she didn't really mind. "I suppose I have a little time."
She seemed to have a lot more than a little time, but he didn't notice until three hours had gone by and Carrie was coming in to say goodnight. He'd been having far too much fun. He didn't think he could lose games repeatedly against anyone else and not get upset.
When Carrie had gone, GLaDOS had lost all interest in the game – which he had expected, because that happened when she lost focus on something – he turned to her and asked, "Which list am I on that made you do that?"
For a minute, she looked as though she wasn't going to answer, but then she said:
"Most Likely to Remind me of What I Truly Need to do."
Perfect.
Guest reviews:
theSDC: Actually, no. If that many years had passed, the facility would no longer exist. It would have been swallowed into the earth. The reactor probably would have exploded, leaving the place a nuclear wasteland. GLaDOS would never, ever be able to hold up to twenty-seven thousand years of abuse, and neither would the labs. In addition, the math has been done. According to the wear on Chell's mattress at the beginning of Portal 2, between five and eight years passed between the two games, with eight being the maximum. There are other theories that also use science to explain how long it was, but the one above is the one I use. The computer was not actually stating the true number of hours that had passed; if it had been, it would have returned the maximum value it can reach, not repeat the number nine repeatedly. When computers return numbers over their limit, they return a random arbitrary number, in C++ that being… negative three million something, I think. TL;DR: no, I do not believe twenty seven thousand years passed by any stretch of the imagination.
For the purposes of LaaC, as I believe I have previously stated, five years have passed between the two games.
Anon: Not for a very, very, very long time e.g. the very end of the story. The rainbows are basically connected to Wheatley's level of sentience, which he will not achieve the highest level of until then.
Macmine411: Thank you! I have read this myself many times and I would not wish a re-read on anyone, though.
Hydride Urukderp: There is a meeting coming up, but I'm not really sure if it's awkward.
The fic kinda went on a hiatus because I watched a few different shows and got distracted, but this will be finished (though there's still a lot left to go). This chapter was just not very fun for me.