Part Sixty-Six. The Observations
"Momma, please!"
"I said no."
There was another meeting scheduled for that afternoon, but Chell had decided to arrive a little early so she could talk to GLaDOS first. It seemed Caroline had beat her to it.
"I just want to help!"
"And I just don't want you to."
Chell tried not to laugh. Caroline must have had a lot of guts, especially knowing exactly how a typical conversation with GLaDOS went. She had no doubt a good chunk of their conversations were exactly like this.
"Momma, you… you don't know what it was like. You have to let me help. Something. It doesn't have to be on the front lines or whatever. But something, Momma. Please."
"I don't know what what was like?" GLaDOS asked, in a surprisingly gentle voice.
"Oh, I… nothing. I didn't mean to say that."
"And yet you did."
"It's not a big deal."
"The more you attempt to keep it from me, the more its severity grows."
"Look… when you got here, and… you were all busted up, and you were even older, somehow, and… it was because you were there, doing all that stuff by yourself, and I was afraid I was gonna lose you too."
"That's not going to happen again," GLaDOS said, again in that gentle voice. "I'm newer than I've ever been, and the humans will be helping me this time. You don't need to worry."
"That's not going to make me feel any better when all you guys are fighting and I'm doing nothing!"
Chell folded her arms and looked pensively at the floor. Now it was even more obvious that Caroline wanted to be her mother, but in addition Chell could see she was also afraid she would never get the chance to learn everything she needed to learn.
"Surely at least one of Chell's sons feels similarly. Go talk to Richard. You could both complain about your mothers together."
"I don't like him," Caroline answered in disgust. "He's a snob."
"Are you sure he's not just quiet like his parents?"
"No. He's a snob. Thinks he's a big shot because his dad did a couple things. Then I try to tell him stuff you did and he says you only did them because you're a computer."
"I've changed my mind," GLaDOS said, in a colder voice. "Don't go anywhere near him."
Chell made a mental note to talk to him about that.
"Come on! You said you'd think about giving me a job, and then you never got back to me! Let me help, at least!"
"I told you to take after Wheatley, you insolent child," GLaDOS said tiredly. "Let's hope you do as you're told in this circumstance. Which I doubt. Because you never do."
"You're going to let me?" Caroline asked excitedly.
"I'll think of something. But don't expect it to change the tide of battle. It will be something small and insignificant that keeps you far away from everything."
"Oh," Caroline said, sounding like she'd just realised something, "you don't want to give me one because you don't want me to get hurt."
"Of course not," GLaDOS said, very quietly. "I would send Wheatley away with you, but in the event of another assault on the facility I'll need someone to keep me sharp. So that I don't get trapped in routine. Chell served that purpose last time, but no doubt she's in better use on the outside. Where she can wreak the most havoc, like a useful little lunatic," she said fondly, and Chell had to try very hard not to burst out laughing.
"You wouldn't be able to send Dad away," Caroline protested. "He'd refuse to take no for an answer. We just want to help you, Momma. We want to keep you safe just as much as you want to keep us safe."
"Caroline, there's a difference," GLaDOS said softly. "Nothing depends on you if you fail. If one of you were to fall, I would… it would be over. And I would be the one who lost the war. I don't want to live with that, and I don't want to take the risk. You may want to keep an eye on me, and you may want to do all you can to keep me safe. But in the end, you can't. There's nothing you can do."
Neither of them spoke for a long moment, and despite herself Chell found a crack in the panels where she could watch them. Neither of them was looking at the other.
"But you would try," GLaDOS went on, "and that's important too."
With that Caroline pressed her core desperately into GLaDOS, who nudged her a little bit and then went still. "I lost you both already," Caroline said, and Chell winced to hear the tears in her voice. "I don't want it to happen again! I don't want to sit off to the side and watch it happen again! I want to know I did something about it!"
"Nobody's going anywhere," GLaDOS said, her voice still soft and gentle. "I just can't keep an eye on both of you and win a war at the same time. Wheatley takes up far too much of my concentration."
Caroline giggled, and GLaDOS laughed softly. "When this is over, I'll start teaching you what you want to know," she said, and Caroline jumped backward and stared at GLaDOS, optic very wide.
"Really?" she asked, obviously having waited for this day her entire life, and GLaDOS nodded.
"After I win this war I have a plan for Aperture's future, but if I'm planning that I need to get you ready. It will take a long time and you'll find it wasn't what you thought it was. But after I set that up, I will begin to show you."
"Thank you, Momma," Caroline said, plastering herself into GLaDOS's core again, and GLaDOS sighed.
"And here ends your childhood."
"Momma?"
"Mm."
"I'll always be your baby," Caroline whispered, "and I'll always love you."
GLaDOS was silent for a long time.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
Chell had to look away then. She shouldn't have been there in the first place, that was true, but she didn't think she'd ever seen such love and tenderness between two people in her life. And it honestly hurt to think that GLaDOS, who had been denied love all her life, now had a family that she loved with far more intensity than Chell had ever seen. They filled that hole inside her, the one that made her bitter and angry. All it really took was the devotion of one person to change someone else's life for the better, and GLaDOS had almost gone forgotten. But Wheatley had saved her.
"Oh," GLaDOS said suddenly, "before I forget. Did you want to attend the meetings?"
"Yes," Caroline said, as if that should have been blatantly obvious.
"Well," GLaDOS continued, moving back and shifting her chassis, "you obviously can't attend physically. However. If you ask nicely, Surveillance just might stream them for you."
"Ooh," Caroline said, shivering in anticipation. "Sounds sneaky."
"Not at all," GLaDOS answered serenely. "It's watching anyway."
"But the humans don't know that."
"They should. As if I would seriously construct my facility of mindless drones." She shook her head.
"Like me, right?"
"You're just fishing for compliments now. Well, I won't bite."
"I'm doing what?"
"You're saying things designed to either make me refute them or compliment you in some way."
"No," Caroline said, shaking her head, "I was making a joke!"
"Tell jokes to Wheatley. I am a far less receptive audience."
"Hey, Momma?"
"What, tiresome child?"
"Promise you'll give me something to do?"
"I promise. Now get out of here. I have to entertain the humans for a while. Please let Magnusson be ill…"
"What if Surveillance won't let me see the meeting?"
"Then I'll do it personally. Hurry up."
Caroline rubbed herself against GLaDOS for a few seconds, which GLaDOS returned, and then she sped out of the room, calling out, "Bye Momma!"
"Don't talk to that human boy!" GLaDOS told her.
"I won't!"
Chell waited a few beats, then entered GLaDOS's chamber. "You wouldn't mean my son, would you?"
"Oh," GLaDOS said in surprise, turning to face her. "Well… yes. He has no respect for AI. She shouldn't go near people like that. She exists. I don't need ignorant people making her doubt herself. Seriously. You should have raised him better than that."
"You have to understand," Chell said, even though she privately agreed with GLaDOS, "the Combine forces are a combination of organics and technology. Many people distrust it these days."
"And while I did impress upon Caroline the need to exercise extreme caution around humans, she also knows enough to change her mind when the situation warrants. She grew up knowing I hated and distrusted humans, and later on why, but she doesn't let that stop her from assessing them individually."
"Maybe she's just smarter than he is," Chell said, smiling, and GLaDOS made a sort of 'hmph' noise.
"Of course she is. She's mine, after all."
"What if she'd taken after Wheatley?"
"Wheatley's not stupid. Wheatley doesn't think. There's a difference."
"I thought you said he was the dumbest moron who ever lived," Chell pressed.
"I said he was the product of the greatest minds of a generation, working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. They obviously botched that job like they did everything else."
Chell smiled, folding her arms. "I suppose it was your sparkling self that changed his life."
"Obviously."
They sat in silence for a few moments, when GLaDOS suddenly said, "You heard that entire conversation."
Chell jolted. "How did you know?"
"The panels just told me."
"Oh," Chell said, not having realised they were that sentient. "Yeah."
"Why does everyone feel the need to spy on me?" GLaDOS asked tiredly.
"GLaDOS, listen. That was… one of the most touching things I've ever seen," Chell tried to explain. "Think about where you were and compare it to where you are. You've come a long way. And it probably doesn't mean much, but… I'm proud of you."
"It does," GLaDOS said quietly.
"She's a special girl," Chell told her. "She's wanted to be you her whole life, hasn't she."
"Unfortunately," GLaDOS intoned dryly. "A considerable percentage of our conversations started with 'Momma, can I have a job?' She was barely able to navigate the facility when she first started asking me this."
"Why?" Chell asked curiously. GLaDOS was silent for a few moments, shifting her chassis uneasily.
"She wanted to help me so I didn't have to work as much."
"When she was that young," Chell said, a little impressed.
"Well. If I was working I couldn't play with her. So that had a lot to do with it, I suspect."
"When all this is over, you have to tell me about raising her," Chell said, her tone leaving no room for argument. "We'll trade mom stories."
"You make it sound like that's a thing."
"It was, once." Chell rubbed her forehead.
"And can be again," GLaDOS said firmly. "They tried to kill me, and you know how I get when people try to kill me."
Chell laughed, clasping her arms around herself. "You also know what happens when you attempt retribution."
"I'll have you know I killed a good number of them before I was overwhelmed."
"So they'll win if they send one or two?"
"Only if one of them's an idiot and the other a lunatic. It's a lot harder to find those two kinds of people in an army than it seems."
"'allo, luv!" Wheatley said cheerfully, wheeling into the room and stopping just in front of her.
"Speaking of idiots, here's my resident one," GLaDOS remarked dryly. "You decided not to be late this time, I see."
"Have to prove that Magnet guy wrong, right?" he answered, a little nervously.
"Yes, but you should probably start by knowing his name. It's Magnusson. Not Magnet."
"Stupid name anyway," Wheatley muttered. "Oh. 'allo, Chell. How're you getting on?"
"Pretty good, thanks," Chell answered, nodding at him. "Just waiting for everyone to show up, I guess."
"Yep. We need to plan out… things. Of a… certain nature," Wheatley said, trying to sound wise but coming off as more comical.
"We do. You need to shut up. You're here to listen, not talk."
"Ahhh." Wheatley nodded. "Try'n do that, but uh, not sure if um, it'll go over."
"You're such an idiot," GLaDOS told him, but Chell could hear no negativity in her voice.
"That's the way you like me, though. So I'll uh, I'll stick to that, if I can."
"I don't like you."
"That's right! You love me! Even better!" Wheatley wiggled his handles in a mischievous sort of way, his plates positioned in a smile, and Chell actually jumped when GLaDOS giggled and gave him a shove.
"Isn't she cute, Chell?" Wheatley asked, looking down at her. "I love it when she does that. Bloody adorable."
"I am not adorable."
"Are too."
"I am not."
"Are too."
"I am –"
"You've had this discussion before, I'm guessing," Chell interrupted, and Wheatley laughed.
"All the time. Change her mind one day, I will." He nuzzled her lovingly, and she sighed.
"If 'one day' really means 'never'."
Wheatley continued to lean on GLaDOS, looking very contented, until GLaDOS abruptly stiffened and shoved him away. "He already knows," Wheatley protested.
"I don't care."
"Who knows what?" Chell asked, but her question was answered when a pale man with scruffy black hair stepped into the room, his eyes immediately locked on GLaDOS.
"GLaDOS," he said, nodding once, his voice rough with disuse.
"Dr Rattmann," GLaDOS returned, nodding once as well. "To what do I owe this honour."
"Heard there's a war on," he answered, shrugging and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Bet there aren't too many of you on Team Aperture, either."
"Of course not," GLaDOS answered. "I can deal with it myself, however."
"That's not the point," he said, grinning at her, and GLaDOS shook her core.
"Why did I not just get rid of you?"
"Must be that pesky conscience acting up again."
"Who is this, GLaDOS?" Chell asked, and GLaDOS gave her a glance.
"My resident graffiti artist, Dr Douglas Rattmann. Also the man who sicced you on me in the first place."
"You're the one who drew all over the walls?" Chell asked. He didn't look like he knew how to draw.
"That was me."
"On a more useful note, he also saved your life. After you heartlessly caused me to be thrown in pieces into my own parking lot, the Party Escort retrieved you to be put back into testing. Unfortunately for you, it put you into one of the Extended Relaxation Vaults, and when I went offline, so did the main power grid. The main Relaxation Vaults have their own individual oxygen supplies, but that was not where I was keeping most of the test subjects. Dr Rattmann patched your Vault into the reserve power grid, which I was luckily still holding together for you, and you lived to test another day."
Chell stepped forward, extending a hand, and Rattmann grinned and took it. "I never thought I'd actually meet you," he said, sounding a little awestruck. "I knew she'd let you go, but I never expected you would come back…"
Chell's eyebrows quirked. "Haven't you heard? We're best friends."
"I wouldn't say best," GLaDOS spoke up quickly. "Somewhere slightly above 'acquaintances', I'd say."
Chell grinned and waved her hand behind her. "She's a little tetchy right now. Wheatley keeps telling her she's adorable."
Rattmann started laughing, taking his hand back and using it to cover his eyes, and GLaDOS made an angry electronic noise. "Chell!"
"If you weren't so adorable I'd have nothing to tell Dr Rattmann about," Chell said teasingly, and Wheatley made a sound in triumph. She turned around in time to see him press himself into her, overjoyed, and GLaDOS groaned.
"Get off me. She doesn't agree with you, she's making fun of me."
"I'll take it how I want to!" he said cheerfully.
"Hello, Wheatley," Rattmann said, holding his left hand up in greeting, and Wheatley nodded to him.
"'allo. Come to help us out, have you?"
"When you wake up one day and find out you're not even in the same state, well, you kind of decide you should figure out what's going on."
"Such a lazy man," GLaDOS remarked to Wheatley. "I should have kicked him out a long time ago."
"Now who is this?" Magnusson declared, stepping into the room and throwing up his hands. "Let me guess. Some other essential personnel of yours!"
"That's correct," GLaDOS answered. "This is my handyman. Though he thinks he's an artist. Bennett. Though everything he draws is remarkably unflattering."
"You clearly have no idea how hard you are to draw," Rattmann snorted.
"Oh, you need your handyman at these meetings now," Magnusson sneered. "Your artist handyman who can't draw."
"He can draw conclusions, and that's all he needs to do. If he's volunteering his aid, I shall accept. Are you volunteering, Dr Rattmann?"
"Indeed I am," Rattmann said, moving to stand next to Chell.
"We need fewer people at these proceedings, not more!" Magnusson declared hotly, clenching his fists.
"Then you can leave. As I've mentioned previously. There will be no loss if you do, I assure you. I have more than enough consenting allies to win this war myself."
Their arguing was interrupted by the arrivals of Dr Kleiner and Gordon, as well as Alyx. Unfortunately for Team Aperture, Chell stopped paying attention after that because she was far too engrossed in watching Wheatley make faces at everything Dr Kleiner said and wondering how long GLaDOS was going to be able to put up with Dr Magnusson before she flipped him right out of the room. She was going to catch it from GlaDOS for that, she knew, but Chell had no interest at all in battle plans or militia training. She wasn't even going to be taking part in the exercises, as far as she knew. GLaDOS seemed content with letting Chell do whatever she wanted, as long as she did something. That spoke volumes about the
"Chell," GLaDOS said somewhat tiredly, and Chell realised she hadn't at all been paying attention for the last little bit. She glanced up, re-evaluating her surroundings to find that everyone had left. She tried not to cringe, biting on the inside of her lip a little. Chell was not afraid of GLaDOS, of course, but she did respect her quite a lot. Not paying attention when you were supposed to be helping your friend plan a war was a terrible way of demonstrating that respect. "You can go."
"Sorry," Chell shrugged, wondering a little offhandedly where Doug had gone. She'd meant to catch him before he disappeared again. "That wasn't very… exciting."
"I'm sorry. I'll try to spice it up for you next time. Tell a few jokes, perhaps."
Chell had to stare, very hard, straight at the wall in front of her to abstain from rolling her eyes. "Nobody wants to hear your jokes, GLaDOS."
"I do!" Wheatley volunteered, and Chell felt a jolt of adrenalin in response to his voice. Of course he hadn't left. She decided against mentioning she hadn't been able to see him and looked up.
"Let's not upset everybody more, Wheatley," she told him.
"I don't care if they're upset," GLaDOS said. "I'm upset having to put up with their idiocy whenever they think it's reasonable. Which is never. But they seem to have convinced themselves of the opposite."
"Mm," shrugged Wheatley. "Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. 's gonna be you that fixes ev'rything in the end. Let them feel like they're contributing 'n all that so they think you're equals, right?"
GLaDOS actually laughed at that. "That's right," she agreed. "Compliance rhymes with Science, after all, and I can't get them to commit to the Science if I can't get them to comply."
"Did you guys just… agree on something?" Chell asked, trying to be as serious as possible, but not quite able to contain the smile on her face.
"What a clever little lunatic you are," GLaDOS answered sardonically. "Observations like that are certain to be of value in the future. Or they would be. If you made observations when I actually needed them to be made."
"I was paying attention, luv!" Wheatley declared in excitement, moving around in front of her. "I remember all of it, I do! Or um… at least… well, a good part of. Some. You know. A bit."
"You will be contributing later," she told him. "I don't care what you retain from these meetings. Your job is to be a visual representation of my authority."
"A what?"
"You're her sidekick," Chell answered.
"Ooh," he murmured to himself, looking at the floor and no doubt imagining what little he knew of superheroes. GLaDOS shook her core.
"That had better never happen, or we're all doomed."
"Momma!" Carrie yelled, barrelling into the room and surprising Chell a second time. Neither GLaDOS nor Wheatley reacted at all to her rather boisterous entrance, so it seemed they were long used to such a thing.
"What."
Carrie started to babble on about some aspect of the meeting that Chell had missed entirely, and when she was finished GLaDOS looked down at Chell, staring in as pointed a way as she could.
"Why is it that the only person who was paying attention was the one who is to have no part in this?"
Chell shrugged. "You're her mom, so… that's your fault."
"I was paying attention!" Wheatley insisted.
"That's debateable. Anyway. All of you are going to have to find some other means of entertainment. I need to think."
Wheatley was visibly displeased about this, but he only nodded and told Carrie to come along with him. Chell hung back.
"I said all of you. That includes you."
"Let me know what you need me to do," Chell said firmly. GLaDOS nodded once.
"I have a lot of planning to do before I decide on that."
Chell echoed her nod and left the room, hoping she would be able to track down Doug before she needed to head back home.
Guest reviews:
ThePuppet: Thank you. I'm trying to build a healthy and realistic relationship, and part of doing that is explaining how to get there.
Hydride Urukderp: No, Chell didn't volunteer when the moon was full because she wanted to see Wheatley. She did it because she really wants no part of the life she's living. She doesn't want to fight the Combine, doesn't want to be part of the resistance, and so for her to take watch when the moon is full means, to her, that life changes and to not give up on making things better in the future. During one full moon, she was heading out into space; the next, she was somewhere else. She doesn't want to be on night watch at all, so she's going to do it during the days when she can be reminded that where she is is not where she will always be.