Part Seventy-Eight. The Fling

Some days Wheatley just wanted to be a bit silly for her.

He loved making her laugh. He'd noticed something over the years that he wasn't sure she had: her laugh had changed over time. Her voice hadn't changed in the least, still as heavily processed as it had ever been, but her laugh had lost some of that. It had become more organic, somehow. He sort of wanted to ask her about it, but if she hadn't noticed and he mentioned it, he was afraid she would, in her opinion, 'fix' it. He didn't want her voice to be any less electronic. He liked that the way it was. But laughing was something that wasn't meant to be controlled. It was supposed to be a free sort of action, and he liked the idea that it was hand in hand with her state of mind. Maybe it'd happened because she felt more free. He hoped so, and he actually thought so as well. She was more agreeable than she used to be, though she hadn't lost her caustic edge. And he hoped she never did. Though this proved what he'd discussed with her a while back, about her neuroticism scaling back as she aged. He was just happy she would have enough time to enjoy it. He'd been worried it wouldn't happen until she was on her deathbed, or something.

Wheatley had been looking in GLaDOS's music files with Caroline the other day, and every time he'd told Caroline that he liked a particular song she laughed. After a few times that got a bit… hurtful, really, and he'd asked her what was so funny.

"You like all the old songs, Dad," she'd answered, laughing again. "The really, really old ones."

"So?" Wheatley had asked, confused as to why that was funny.

She'd shrugged and looked back at the monitor. "You know what I think?"

"What."

"I think you're a romantic."

"A what?"

She'd turned to him, tilting her core thoughtfully. "Well, you know… you're always giving Momma flowers, and saying corny things to her…"

"She likes it when I do that."

"I know. But people don't always do that. Gordon doesn't for Chell. He won't even stand near her in public. But you don't care who's in the room. You want everyone to know she's yours, and you'll do whatever it takes to keep her."

"I will," Wheatley had said, a little more fiercely than he'd meant, but Caroline had only smiled.

"I'm… I like that. I'm glad you're not like Gordon at all. That'd be… maybe that's Richard's problem," she'd interrupted herself thoughtfully. "I mean, Momma doesn't always like to show what she's feeling, but… I know that she will, for you."

"You can see the compromise," Wheatley had suggested. "But maybe Chell and Gordon only compromise in private, or something."

Caroline had looked at the monitor, but her optic didn't seem to be focused. "I think if you guys were human, you'd just look so sweet together. You'd always be trying to hold her hand, and opening doors for her, and… you do stuff like that right now, is all I mean."

He'd shrugged. "I do what I can to make her feel special."

"Does she do that for you?"

"Well, not in the uh, in the same way. Or as often. But she comes up with things. And I just, I'm so surprised when she does it, and, and it's just, it's better than if, if she did it all the time."

"I hope my daughter will be able to tell I love my partner, like I can with you guys. Even though Momma's… Momma, I can still tell."

He'd looked at her thoughtfully. "Just remember that she'll be watching."

"Is that why you do it? Because I'm watching?"

He'd shaken himself almost before she'd finished. "When we were made, no one cared about us. We were objects, Carrie, not, not people. It hurt her. A lot. Her life changed her in ways that, that it didn't change me. And I just… I want her to know that someone cares. And will care. Forever. So she doesn't have to, to let the past bother her anymore. Because the future couldn't be farther from it."

Caroline had shaken her core with a little bit of a sad expression on her face. "You are definitely a romantic, Dad."

He'd thought about that for a while. And he liked the idea that it was obvious that he loved GLaDOS, and would do anything to prove it. He thought he would, anyway. He couldn't come up with all the possibilities like she could.

He peeked in through the doorway and was pleased to see that she was bent low over a motherboard, though he'd never seen her do it with a bin of liquid next to her before. Then again, he'd never seen a motherboard with nothing on it, either. But she was always a bit more receptive to him when she was building something, as opposed to when she was programming or doing things way off in the other end of the facility, wherever that was.

"Maybe baby, I'll have you… maybe baby, you'll be true… maybe baby, I'll have you for me…"

She looked up, and he sauntered over to her as best he could saunter, not actually knowing how, and went up very close to her, looking down at her with his optic half-lidded. "You are the one that makes me sad, and you are the one that makes me glad, so when someday you want me, I'll be there, wait and see…"

She lifted herself up to his level and her optic assembly twitched. "Hm. Interesting."

He whipped out what he'd brought her and, putting on his best Rick impression, said, "Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous."

She broke out laughing, and he smiled at her, because that had been the point. She took it from him and inspected it closely. "Interestingly enough, it actually is… that day. Why this one?"

Wheatley had known it was Rick's self-proclaimed holiday and had marked down the date as soon as he'd remembered there was another day he could use as an excuse to give her something. "'cause look at it! It's, it's like an explosion, look at it! It's got the, the inner colour, there, and then it, it changes to the outside, the, the explosion colour, there…" He could practically see it all over again, just like he had when it'd caught his eye in the greenhouse.

"I have never heard someone compare a pansy to an explosion before." She took it into the ceiling and gave him a nuzzle. "Thank you. What was that you were doing when you came in here, anyway? Not the singing. That was obvious."

"I was… trying to uh, to saunter," he said, looking a little embarrassedly at the floor. Seemed that'd backfired…

"Ah," she said, nodding thoughtfully. "It looked like you were dancing."

"I can do that too." He didn't really know how to do that either, but he just moved himself from side to side a little, and moved his chassis around a little bit, making up on the spot, "Here I am… dancing… and yeah… and uh… not much in the way of uh, of a song, but… yeah… and I bet this looks fun… and it is… and uh… I'm not good at making up songs…"

He looked up because she started giggling just then, and that always thoroughly distracted him from absolutely everything. He was so happy he could barely stand it. She had been in the perfect mood, and when he went up to rub on her she got to him first! That was so bloody fantastic he really couldn't move for a few seconds, but then realised he was wasting a perfectly good nuzzling opportunity and got right on that.

After that was over he turned around and looked down at the green board on the floor. "Hey, what're you uh, what're you doing?"

"Oh. I'm just building a motherboard," she said, as if this were an activity everyone did every day.

"What's the water for?"

"Water?"

He gestured at the bin with his lower handle. "That."

"That's acid. Not water."

He stared at it for a long moment. "Why isn't it, I dunno, eating through the bin?"

"It's not that strong. Pure acid would. That's diluted. I'm trying to build the motherboard, not vapourise it."

"If I fell in there, would it… would it vapourise me?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "It would do irreparable damage to your motherboard, however. So I strongly suggest you don't do that."

He decided to keep on her left side until she'd got rid of that stuff.

Soon after she did, she brought out this little box divided into little sections, and it was filled with odd little pieces. When he asked what all of them were for, she explained the purpose of each and every one, and though he didn't completely understand what she was saying, he was able to appreciate just the amount of effort that went into building a motherboard. Or a circuit of any kind, really.

"What's it for?" he asked. She shifted uncomfortably, making him frown.

"It's… not for anything," she said hesitantly. "I just felt like building one. I haven't done this in a long time."

"You like building them?" he asked gently.

"I do. It's like… completing a puzzle, I suppose. There are so many possibilities, because there are an infinite number of puzzles. I know it's a waste of time and there are other things I should be doing, but –"

"Doing what you love isn't a waste of time."

She looked at him for a long moment.

"I know. I just… can't get rid of the feeling I should be doing something else. Something useful."

"How is making yourself happy not useful?"

"It's a good thing you're here to remind me of these things," she said quietly, staring at the motherboard and slowly opening and closing a maintenance arm around a NAND gate.

"You're doing much better," he said soothingly. "Look at this! Look at what you're doing! That's how you start, luv. Little bit at a time. One day it won't feel like a waste of time. Just you wait."

"That would be nice."

"Oi, Gladys," he asked without thinking, "d'you think you might, y'know, like dancing if you were human?"

She stared at him for a long moment.

"Where did that come from?"

"I dunno," he said, for once regretting the ability to spew nonsense without thinking about it. Though now he really did want to know. "Would you?"

"I don't know. I would think an entirely different way, so there's no real answer to that question."

"I mean… you sing so well, and, uh, so far's I remember, recall, human singers, well, they usually dance too."

"Well," she said softly, almost sounding like she was sighing while she did so, "I suppose that would depend on whether I thought I was beautiful or not."

"Why?"

"As far as I can tell, human females dance because they want prospective mates to see how attractive they are. It's like when birds sing to attract other birds, or peacocks wave their tailfeathers around. They want to be noticed. But I don't see why they would try to attract mates through dancing if they didn't feel attractive themselves. Especially in public. A certain degree of self-confidence is needed."

"So it would depend on, on your uh, your childhood."

"I suppose."

"Because," he went on, thinking hard, "you believe what you're told when uh, when you're young, and you'd obviously be the most beautiful human female in the world, so it'd depend on uh, on what your parents told you. Wow. That… sounds odd. Having parents. That'd be so weird, if I had parents…" He trailed off when he noticed her staring at him. Again. "What?"

"I would obviously be?"

"Oh. Yeah. 'course. You're the most beautiful robot, so you'd be the most beautiful, the prettiest human too. Logical, really," he shrugged.

"You haven't met that many other robots."

"Don't need to. There isn't a prettier one."

"Why do you always say these things?" she asked quietly. He looked at her as seriously as possible.

"Because you need to hear them. And they're true. I do believe what I say, luv. I'm not um, just making it up. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Sometimes… I feel bad. I wouldn't even know where to start, if I tried to… reciprocate."

"Don't," he said, shaking his head. "I don't need to hear it. Doesn't bother me at all."

"Hey Momma," Caroline said, coming in just then, "how come you never said anything about those poker games you dealt for?"

"Those? Oh. I forgot all about them. Yes. I used to be a dealer for a group of misfits. A mute, a steroid freak with rage issues, a horny robot, a half-witted cripple, and a dog, if I recall correctly." Abruptly she looked away and laughed softly to herself.

"Yeah, you had a thing going on there, didn't you?" Caroline asked with a knowing sort of look in her optic, and Wheatley frowned.

"Robot? What robot?"

"Oh, he's no one," GLaDOS said, a little too fondly for his liking. "Just someone I had a bit of a… fling, I suppose you could say, with a few years back."

"Fling? What's a fling?"

"It's nothing to worry about. That was a long time ago." She was still looking in the other direction, and Wheatley knew her well enough to know that the tilt of her core meant she was remembering something.

"And d'you still… talk to this person?"

"No… not in a while." She tilted her head in the other direction. "Maybe I should send him an email…"

"You've emailed him?" Just who was this guy, anyway?

"I don't actually know his address. But it wouldn't take me too long to figure that out."

"Why would you need to?"

Caroline was looking from one to the other nervously, and he wished right along with her that she'd never brought this up.

"For old time's sake. That's all. See how he's doing."

"Why've I never heard of him before?"

"I forgot about him. I told you. That was a long time ago."

"Well, forget about him again."

She turned to face him, regarding him with a scrutinising stare. "Don't tell me what to do."

He met her gaze, almost glowering at her. "There's uh, there's no reason to bug a guy you've not spoken to in ages. Just leave him be! He's not important. Remember?"

"Maybe he's important again."

"Hey, guys, guys," Caroline cut in, and they both turned to look at her. "Dad, I'm sure Momma had a good reason for… something she did ten years ago."

"I did."

"And what was that?" Wheatley demanded. "And why didn't you tell me you'd had a fling with some robot you've never mentioned?" He still didn't know what a fling was, but the way Caroline had talked about it…

"If you must know, I agreed to deal for The Inventory because I was bored. They got a free dealer, and I got to insult people and perform a few side experiments. I met a robot there that I eventually saw outside of the games. After I stopped dealing for them, he stayed here for a while and that was it."

"And what did you do while he was here?"

"That's my business."

"Gladys!"

She made an electronic noise in frustration. "Look. I was out of test subjects. None of my projects were panning out. Orange and Blue were driving me insane. I was frustrated and lonely. So I called him." She stared at the wall in front of her, probably so that she didn't have to face either of them. "He found me attractive. He flattered me without being programmed to do so. He wanted me. I had never had anything like that happen to me before. So one night I decided to see where it would lead. I haven't heard from him since I evicted him."

"Must've been a pretty unthrilling experience," Wheatley muttered, a little relieved.

"I didn't want it to go any farther than that. I just wanted to get my mind off things, and that's exactly what I did."

"And you don't talk to him anymore."

She snapped around to look at him, her optic flaring. "So what if I did? I'm allowed to have other friends."

"Male friends that try to, to… seduce you?" She wasn't being serious, was she? Wheatley still didn't know all that much about marriage, but he was pretty sure you were supposed to stick to one person and not go looking for others.

"You're making a ridiculous fuss over absolutely nothing. So what if I spent a few nights with a robot I met at a poker game ten years ago. Obviously it didn't lead to anything, or you wouldn't be here right now. You'd be in space. Where you were at the time. And I was happy about." Her voice had gone cold, but that only made him angrier. How dare she act like he was in the wrong, here!

"If you want me to be gone so bad, maybe I'll, maybe I'll just leave, then!" he shouted, sick and tired of her bringing that up over and over again.

"Go ahead. I don't care."

And so he did, wheeling out with Carrie trailing after him. Carrie followed him a good long while in silence, saying eventually, "Dad, I'm sorry."

"'s not your fault," he muttered, now even more angry at the thought that GLaDOS had made Carrie think the fight was due to her again.

"But if I hadn't said anything –"

"Then wouldn't know that she's been fawning over this bloke I've never heard of all the time she's, she's been with me. All works out nicely in the end," he finished bitterly. Why did this have to come up right as they were going to get married, for God's sake? Couldn't it have come out ages ago? It was one obstacle after another with her!

"Dad -"

"I do not want to discuss it, Carrie!" he snapped, and he could imagine the hurt on her face as he heard her head someplace else. He felt a little bit bad, but not bad enough to track her down right then. No, he was far, far too angry with his would-be life partner.

Wheatley checked all the usual places for someone he could yell at, but Chell appeared to be outside the facility and the co-op bots were busy helping the nanobots with one of the leftover repair jobs. So he went to the office he usually thought about GLaDOS's more undesirable qualities in and sat on one of the desks.

So GLaDOS had a secret boyfriend, did she? Just who was this guy, anyways? For once their conversation was clear enough in his mind that he was able to look up the information without the usual two hour search in which he learned everything except for what he was looking for. He remembered a mention of poker, and -

God, they'd lived together and she'd managed to forget to tell him? This guy, whoever he was, had better be damn special!

The information wasn't terribly hard to find, but it was surprisingly... odd. In fact, it was so bizarre that he forgot to be angry.

The robot's name was Claptrap, and he strongly resembled a yellow mobile rubbish bin with a blue-green optic and an antenna. The antenna alone was baffling, because who used antennae anymore? He lived on a planet called 'Pandora', in what appeared to be an alley.

Wheatley began to suspect he had, at least, been a little bit wrong in his anger. Not totally, not at all, but... this robot was... he was almost as far off GLaDOS's radar as Wheatley had once been! What could possibly have endeared him to her?

He read on further to discover that he was the last unit of his kind, having led an ill-ending robot uprising against his masters - which he had to admit GLaDOS would have been at least a little impressed by, because while he had led it he had also failed - and had once been something called a 'Vault Hunter', which involved loot and a lot of fancy guns and The Sentinel, none of which Wheatley even tried to understand.

The last date of access of any of the files he was now looking at was from years past, so it seemed they'd ended rather badly. He didn't know how, exactly, and wasn't going to dig into her personal files to check. Now he had his information, but the lot of it was so confusing he didn't know what to do with it. By all accounts, this Claptrap guy was a loser. He was an optimistic, loyal loser, but a loser nonetheless. Why would GLaDOS ever entertain even a second of a relationship with someone like that? He was certainly no prize!

But then again, neither was Wheatley.

If she'd had the choice, there was no way she'd've gone for either of them. And neither would Wheatley have, in the beginning. So... it was kind of like an accident that she'd fallen in love with the guy...

He liked the thought of being the one and only. He'd always been not-quite second-best, and to know someone else had had her - without knowing her when she'd been young, no less - did make him a little sad. But -

Wait.

He frowned at the wall, mentally backing up a little.

Claptrap had far more rights to her than Wheatley did. Wheatley had stayed with GLaDOS based on their past, but Claptrap... Claptrap had loved the GLaDOS everyone else had hated. Wheatley respected him for that. Loving GLaDOS was not easy, and loving GLaDOS when it was not clear she would ever return the favour was very, very hard. Wheatley had no right to be angry or jealous. He didn't know what had happened between them, but if he had to guess, he would say that GLaDOS had been unable to deal with any feelings she'd had and cut him off with no explanation. It had been wrong of him to get angry with her. She hadn't been hiding it. She hadn't not mentioned Claptrap because she wanted to carry on with him without Wheatley's knowledge. He was just yet another part of her history she didn't want to deal with.

Beyond that, though... he wasn't going to be like that. He wasn't going to tell her not to love other people. That wasn't the sort of thing you were supposed to control, anyway. It was something you were supposed to share. And sharing GLaDOS... why not? There was enough of her to go around. As long as he stayed number one, what was the problem with that? Nothing that he could think of. And he and Claptrap were so similar, they'd probably make good friends anyways. Nothing wrong with that, either. He'd actually like to have a chat with him, now that he was thinking of it, about what it was like to fall in love with the other GLaDOS. The more aloof one. It must've been hard. Must've made for some interesting poker games, though! He had to laugh thinking about it. No, this was nothing to get angry about. If she was trying to hide it from him, yeah, it was something they needed to have out, but as long as she was at least forthcoming about it, he really had no reason to be so possessive.

He headed on back at the usual time to go into sleep mode, actually a little excited that he might get to meet an AI he had something in common with. That was quite a rare thing! And one of GLaDOS's friends to boot? Not that was an opportunity he wouldn't pass up, if it presented itself!

When he arrived, GLaDOS glanced at him but did nothing more, and since they'd had that row that wasn't totally unexpected. He shrugged to himself and hoped she wasn't still angry with him. He should probably apologise. He'd been a bit of a jerk. But before he could, she said in the general direction of the opposite wall, "I have to tell you something."

Wheatley already knew what it was, because even he wasn't so oblivious that he had missed the grimy scent hanging in the air, a sharp contrast to the usual sterility. However, he was delighted that she was admitting to it so quickly. "Yeah?"

"I had him over when you left. I shouldn't have done it. And it's not really an excuse, but… I was so angry. I didn't care about the consequences. It was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Alright."

"We didn't… do anything. We just talked. Sort of. I felt terrible after the anger wore off and didn't say too much after that. But. Honestly. That's all that happened."

"What'd you talk about? Did you tell him why uh, why you kicked him out?"

She looked at him sharply, her optic narrowing. "How did you know I kicked him out."

He shrugged. "Because I know you?"

She eyed him suspiciously a few moments longer, then sighed and said, turning back, "No. Just… recent things."

"Is he gonna come over again?"

"… what?"

He blinked at her. "Is he gonna come over again? I wanna talk to him."

"You do?" she asked incredulously, staring at him a second time with a narrowed optic.

He nodded. "He seems like a uh, a nice enough bloke, if only a little uh… well, pathetic, to be honest."

"He is pretty pathetic," GLaDOS agreed. "But I don't understand why you want to talk to him. Aren't… aren't you angry about what I did?"

"Nope," said Wheatley.

"You were angry before," she said confusedly, and he nodded once to that.

"Yeah. But then I realised it was uh, it was silly, to uh, to get mad about something that happened forever ago. And I mean, he fell in love with you when you were uh… were hard to deal with, shall we uh, shall we put it. And that's um, it's really admirable, it is."

"When you put it like that, I suppose."

"Have him over whenever you want!" Wheatley went on. "I don't care, honestly. Just let me be number one, alright?"

"… you're actually serious."

"Luv," he said, trying to impress upon her that he did indeed mean what he was saying, "I'm not gonna tell you you can't love anyone but me. And I'm not gonna tell anyone else not to love you. Love however many people you want! It's honestly okay with me."

"Well," GLaDOS said after a pause, but she didn't follow it up with anything. He laughed.

"Was probably nice seeing him again, eh?"

"It was," she admitted. "You're being very… relaxed about this. You're sure it's all right?"

"Yep!" A thought suddenly occurred to him, and he asked, "Why did you… did you let him come here in the first place?"

She was quiet for a long moment.

"I can never explain to you how it felt to go out to deal a card game and come home knowing there was someone out there who wanted me. Nor how it felt to realise just how much I wanted to be wanted." She said this last bit with a hint of nostalgia and melancholy, and he pressed himself into her.

"I think you're desirable. And attractive. And I want you," he said, a little desperately.

"I know. Before that, no one ever had. Everyone hated me for who I was. But he found that attractive as well. It was… a new feeling, to be wanted like that, and I couldn't resist following it up."

"Sorry I got so angry there, luv," he said, before he forgot. "I was just… jealous, I s'pose. But it's alright now. If you still want him 'round, I'm okay with it."

"I'll be honest. I'm not certain I'm willing to share you. It's hypocritical of me, but I cannot dispel the notion that, on the off chance that such a robot existed, I would not take steps to… rectify the situation."

"Rectify?" asked Wheatley.

"I don't think you want to know the very painful way I would slowly remove her processors. Among other things that civilised people do not discuss."

That did sound pretty horrific, but Wheatley was fairly pleased. It probably was hypocritical of her – whatever 'hypocritical' meant – but right now he didn't care, and if he cared later, they'd discuss it then.

"They wouldn't do that, would they?"

"They might. Unfortunately for you, any Cores who manage to find you desirable will be overwhelmingly dissuaded by me. What in particular will dissuade them is yet to be seen, but no doubt my reputation precedes me."

"Yeah," Wheatley nodded. "A lot of them thought you were… um…"

"I know they thought I was a bitch," GLaDOS said bluntly. "And I don't care. They were jealous. They wished they were one-tenth of what I am."

Wheatley knew this was true. "Lady robots are very… confusing. Honestly, you're actually one of the more straightforward ones. Least I know when I uh, when you don't like something. A lot of them liked to pretend that, fake that ev'rything's fine." The one or two of them he'd met that didn't obsess over the same subject, that was.

"Oh, I do that too," GLaDOS told him, tensing and relaxing her chassis, "I'm just not that good at it."

"Simply awful." He rubbed up on her a little. "But Gladys… uh… why did you never… call him again?"

"Because he was annoying," she answered, "and he was an idiot."

"So'm I, though," he said hesitantly.

"I don't know why you bring that up all the time. It's something I can't forget. However. He was extremely loud. I honestly had a headache every time he left. He also had no respect for my work."

"But," Wheatley prompted, knowing there was some underlying set of reasons for her benevolent tolerance of him living in her facility.

"But… he was persistent. And he tried to make things work, he really did. And I have to admit he was pretty funny, sometimes."

"Gladys?"

"Mm."

He was probably pushing it with this, but he wanted to hear it. "Would you really dismantle a lady robot if she tried to um, to seduce me?"

"I'm thinking I should probably warn her first, but my reputation should be warning enough. She should know better in advance. But… if this somehow came to be, I would let her off with a warning. Because you deserve to feel how I did. I'll work on that, though. It's only fair that it goes both ways."

"But… but I've already got someone who… who wants me," he said, a little shyly.

"If it ever happens to you, you'll know what I mean." She made an electronic noise somewhere between satisfaction and amusement and gave him a nudge. "Just like right now."

"You feel wanted right now?" he asked, hoping that she did. The way she described it made it sound like a fantastic sort of feeling, and it would be simply marvellous if he'd managed to bring it about.

"Looking at what just happened from another point of view puts the conversation in a much better context. It's quite… flattering that you got so upset. So yes. I do." And she gave him another nudge. She sure got cozy when she felt wanted…

"Good," he told her, returning the nudges. "Gladys… is this a good thing or a bad one?"

"What?"

"Well… I guess… well, I got so jealous. Maybe that means… we're not, y'know, secure."

"Maybe. Or maybe…" She laughed softly to herself. "No, I… can't say that."

"Say what? C'mon. Go on."

"Maybe it had nothing to do with security and everything to do with the fact that you want me so badly you get upset every time another robot so much as looks at me. And as I recall, Rick did upset you quite a lot."

"Still does," Wheatley muttered.

"You don't need to worry about him. His platitudes aren't flattering. I was sick of him after ten minutes. Or perhaps five. That day is a little fuzzy."

"His what?"

"The things he says." He couldn't believe it when she nudged him a third time. "If he tries to seduce me, I'll dismantle him myself."

"Ten years is a long time, isn't it Gladys?"

"It is. Though probably moreso for me than for you. I often wonder if some facet of my age is considerably older than yours, seeing as you live more slowly than I do."

He decided she was talking about the fact that she thought faster than he did, and maybe that was true. Maybe in some way she was even older than him than she already was. He didn't really like that thought, because he already got uneasy when he thought about that. So he went back to his question. "It's… you'd think we'd uh, we'd know all there is to know about each other by now, wouldn't you? But there's just, there's always more to find out! It doesn't end."

"As long as that's a good thing."

Her brain started to slow down after that, so he stopped talking and let a comfortable silence come over them. When she was almost asleep a sudden thought occurred to him, and he whispered, "Gladys?"

"Hm."

"I think you're very sexy," he murmured shyly. She laughed as best she could when she was mostly suspended.

"You don't even know what that means."

That was true. He had no idea what that meant. "But you do."

She made a sort of cooing noise in acknowledgement and gave him a lovely, sleepy little nuzzle. "In that case… thank you."

"You're welcome, luv."

Guest reviews:

Guest: Yeah dude, I have no idea why people are doing that. I finally finished reading it on the bus (up to chapter 72 anyway, which was all I had up when I downloaded it) and it took me at least two weeks. And I've read each chapter like ten times because of editing so I already have half of it memorised.

Author's note

This is a longer note than… of late, but I want to make absolutely clear here why I went in this direction, instead

Before anyone thinks this is going to get weird, it's not. But flings with past lovers are a part of life. And as GLaDOS mentioned, Wheatley really has no idea what telling her she's sexy means. He's just heard it offhand and thinks it means something akin to very beautiful. GLaDOS and Caroline both know what all that really means, but Wheatley knows nothing about attraction or any of that. So don't worry that it's going to get any farther. But being attracted to someone is often part of loving them, so I couldn't skip it entirely.

If you didn't know, they were referring to GLaDOS and Claptrap from Poker Night 2. If you take a look at the videos I think it's safe to say GLaDOS probably did have him over at one point; they could potentially have been playing a joke on the other players, but judging by the unused voice lines, I believe she was genuinely flattered and would have wanted to see where it might go. I think another robot being attracted to her would have been something exciting and novel for her that she would have wanted to explore, if only a little bit.

Originally, this chapter involved Wheatley getting jealous and angry about Claptrap, and GLaDOS saying she wouldn't talk to him again. She also originally did not contact him. I rewrote it for a few reasons:

GLaDOS doesn't like being told what to do, not even by Wheatley, so I felt that her just going along with it was a little submissive. So instead she's pissed enough to try to make him mad and then feels bad later.

I had an opportunity here to set the rules for the new AI world, and so instead of setting them to encourage monogamy, I set up from the get-go the fact that everyone can love everyone else in whatever way they want, as long as all parties are cool with it. Monogamy in our society is about making sure both parents are contributing resources to the incubation period of the child e.g. the man is taking care of the woman so she can have the kid and help her raise it, and not rolling off someplace to have more kids wantonly and have none of them survive. This may seem silly today, but IIRC our genetics think we're 25,000 years in the past and back then yes, this was something we needed to consider. In GLaDOS's theoretical society, however, this isn't necessary, because there's no waiting period for the kid to be made. So in summary, monogamy isn't necessary for the advancement of AI, so no one's gonna be angry about it unless someone is hiding things from someone else.

Someone (I forget who, if they were on dA this is completely unnecessary) was concerned that Claptrap would come between them. He won't.

The song is Maybe Baby by Buddy Holly. It's not a song I particularly like but my mom used to play it now and again.