Portal: Love as a Construct

by iammemyself

GLaDOS brings Wheatley out of space to keep her company. Through trial and error, their friendship grows into an undeniable connection that they might be able to call love. With that on their side, they can do just about anything - maybe even save the world. Cores only. I don't care if you don't read the whole thing. Just read the parts that interest you if you want.

120. Part 120 The Forgotten Date

Part 120. The Forgotten Date

"Okay," said Claptrap. "So is one of you gonna explain this to me or what?"

"What's there to explain?" Wheatley asked.

"Well," Claptrap began, "you two are fighting."

Yes. That was true.

"You haven't talked to each other in three days, and when you do talk you start yelling at each other."

"I was not yelling," said GLaDOS indignantly.

"I was also not yelling. Either. I meant either."

"And yet, for some reason," Claptrap went on, "every night you come back here and GLaDOS lets you park yourself right in your usual spot like nothing's going on."

Of course, thought Wheatley. Yes, he was quite cross with her, but he still loved her and wanted his snuggle. They were two totally different things! Not that he could say that right now.

"Your point?" snapped GLaDOS.

"Is this like… a thing you do?"

"Yes," said GLaDOS and Wheatley in unison, and it made him even more cross to hear that they also both narrowed their optics at the same time.

"Is not telling each other why you're mad a thing you do too?"

"He knows why," said GLaDOS, just like she had for the past three days, and just like he had, Wheatley snapped,

"I do not! I have no idea what's got you so cross!"

"Of course you do."

"So I'm a liar now, am I?"

"That's usually what someone who doesn't tell the truth is called."

Wheatley snapped himself upward and gave Claptrap a pointed stare. "See!?" he protested, waving his upper handle at her as best he could. "D'you see what I've got to put up with!?"

"I did not know I was gonna have to be your relationship guru," said Claptrap. "Babe. Please. Just tell him why you're mad, huh?"

"No," GLaDOS snapped, raising her core now as well. "He wants me to do that."

"Of course I do!" shouted Wheatley. "Because I don't know what's going on!"

"You are aware that you're yelling, though, aren't you?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Wait wait wait!" interrupted Claptrap, holding up both his hands with his palms towards them. "GLaDOS, why does… geez, this is stupid. Why does Wheatley want you to tell him why you're mad?"

"Because then he wins."

"I don't feel like I'm winning," Wheatley muttered.

"That's because I won't let you."

"We aren't in, we aren't, there's no bloody contest! Nobody is winning anything!"

"Somebody is. Just not you."

There she went. Round and round in circles. As usual. He was ready to give up on this and go to bed. Again. For the third day in a row.

"I don't think this win is gonna be worth it, babe," said Claptrap. "You wanna just call it a draw?"

"No!"

"She'll die first," muttered Wheatley.

"Don't test me," snapped GLaDOS. "I'll do it."

"I know you will! You'd rather this just went on and on forever instead of just, instead of simply, I dunno, saying what you're so mad about?!"

"You already know what I'm angry about."

"Oh my god." He turned away from her, exasperated. "How many times've I got to tell you that I don't?"

"You really expect me to believe you just forgot?"

"Forgot what?!" Wheatley shouted at her so loudly all three of them were taken aback. He was almost sorry about it, but really, what was he supposed to do? He was sick of this pointless back-and-forth about something he honestly, truly didn't know anything about!

GLaDOS looked between himself and Claptrap, and for a second he thought she was going to start it all over again. What she said, though, was not much better than if she had.

"Our anniversary."

"Oh," said Claptrap. "Okay. It's aaaaall clear to me now."

"'S not clear to me!" protested Wheatley. "First off, since when've you ever cared about it? You forgot ten years in a row! Second, you seem to've lost track of when it even is, because it's not anywhere near now!"

"Yes, it is," said GLaDOS. "It was three days ago."

"No, it wasn't!" argued Wheatley. "I think I would know!"

"Check your calendar," insisted GLaDOS. "It was three days ago."

Fine. He would. He would, and he would send it to her and prove she was wrong and had started all of this over nothing, and… oh. Hm. There… didn't seem to be a date noted for their anniversary at all. He went back to the previous year and saw it immediately, since it was one of the only things he even put on it, and the day was…

Whoops.

"Well?" said GLaDOS.

"I… forgot to mark it on this year's calendar," admitted Wheatley. "I usually do it the, the next day but I… didn't. Last time."

"Of course you managed to forget the year I had something to give you," GLaDOS muttered, and if Wheatley had still been upset that would've run it straight out of him.

"You got me something?"

"Yes."

"Can… can I have it?"

"No. I'm still angry with you."

"GLaDOS, he literally didn't do anything," Claptrap cut in. "Other than not write down a date that he thought you didn't care about anyway. Seriously. Cut the guy a break. And also you owe him like, a lot of apologies."

"You thought I was just… not mentioning it why?" Wheatley asked, confused.

"Because you were waiting for me to mention it."

"But you never mention it!"

"Yes, but this time you wanted me to."

Wheatley groaned and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. "Gladys, you're aware this whole thing is just… you made it all up. By yourself. I didn't have anything to do with any of it."

"Kinda impressive!" said Claptrap. "My favourite part is how you wanted to be right more than you wanted to have a civil conversation with your husband!"

"He's not my husband."

"Okay, your spousal unit then."

"Gladys," Wheatley said, before Claptrap made it worse all over again, "why're you mad if I haven't done anything?"

"I can't just not be angry," said GLaDOS.

"But… you haven't got anything to be angry about."

"I know that," she snapped. "It doesn't matter."

Ohhhh. She meant that she couldn't just shut it off straight away like he could. Well, that was all fine.

He was quite tired from all of this so he was glad when she lowered herself so he could put himself against her again. When he had she gave him a nudge, not even a small one she might hope he hadn't noticed but a regular one, and he smiled and gave her a kiss. "Did you really get me something?" he couldn't help but whisper excitedly.

"I really did."

Wow. He never thought he'd see the day. It was a good thing he was tired, else he might not've been able to sleep for his excitement. She'd remembered and she'd gotten him something! It really was splendid when she made an effort. Though… to be fair, they were robots. Gift-giving was extremely difficult, especially when you were GLaDOS and you really, really did not care for special occasions.

"She really didn't apologise!" said Claptrap in surprise.

"Of course not," Wheatley told him. "She can't um, can't do that and be angry both. Tomorrow, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Yeah." He closed his shutters and leaned into her a little more. "'S okay if she doesn't. I know she's sorry."

"If it works for you, I guess."

There were a lot of things like that between himself and GLaDOS, thought Wheatley tiredly. Little… understandings, that nobody else quite got but they had them all the same. Yes, he would like for her to apologise… but her pride could only take so much, and he didn't want to beat it down any further. And she'd know that, and the knowing would have some part in her deciding whether or not to say it or do something else to prove it or just move on like nothing had ever happened. And any one of those things was fine with him.

/

He actually, for most of the day, managed to forget he needed to get her a dandelion, and only remembered when he heard Carrie say something about playing outside with Dog. That was when he immediately went out to one of the facility exits to look for a dandelion.

The great, great majority of Aperture was, of course, still underground, but there were some small buildings here and there so it could be accessed from the outside. Aperture's perimeter, the true dimensions of which only GLaDOS knew, was marked by a very, very, very long Emancipation Grid serving as an even deadlier version of an electric fence. Cores were allowed to leave if they liked, though the ones who had not elected to have limbs installed had to request management rails be erected by the nanobots in advance. Well, Wheatley didn't have to do that. Not that he was complaining.

There was nothing else inside of the fence other than a carpet of grass that seemed strangely healthy, compared to the grass outside of the fence. Come to think of it, GLaDOS was probably doing it on purpose to show off. He smiled to himself and looked down in search of dandelions. There was absolutely going to be a few here somewhere. He'd better hurry up, though. He usually came out here much earlier and it was a lot darker than he was used to.

Wait. That gave him an idea.

"Gladys," he said, after scrambling to find the messaging program, "have you got a few minutes? Actually, um, scratch that, actually. I need you for a few minutes. Is what I meant to say."

Is it important?

"Yes. Yes. Very important. Extremely important."

All right. What is it.

He cast his optic about for the optimum place to look. "Um… well, it's just, I can't tell you! You've just got to um, to take a look through my optic, yeah, and it'll um… it'll present itself, let's say that."

Are you sure this is important?

"Oh, definitely. Definitely important. Very much so. Incredibly, actually."

All right. And in a minute or so he received a request from the Central Core which said something about his being an ancillary for her, whatever that meant. He did not bother attempting to read the entire block of text and instead activated the only option he was presented, which was a button marked 'OK'. He probably hadn't even needed to. A Sphere being able to refuse a request from the Central Core would be – oh, wait. He'd been promoted to Core. What did that even mean, exactly? He hadn't really asked. He hadn't been given a job, nor was he ever called to do any particular task. Was it literally just so he could act as GLaDOS's proxy in times of emergency? Actually, that was kind of nice. Getting promoted, but not having to do any actual work. Now who was benefitting from nepotism?!

What am I looking for?

Oh! Yes! The surprise. He looked back into the distance, realising belatedly that he should probably have gotten his optic cleared off beforehand. Come to think of it, it might not matter that much. GLaDOS's personal vision was, to put it nicely, dated. The facility's cameras might be capable of higher resolutions. Perhaps even higher than his. Should he have –

Wheatley.

Right, right. "Just a moment, luv." He squinted into the sky. He'd lost the sun, somehow. Aha! There it was. "Alright. Now all you've got to do is… wait."

For what? Are you expecting something to materialise out of thin air in that spot? That is a possibility, but –

"It's a possibility?" Wheatley interrupted.

Well, yes. Someone would simply have to open a portal there.

"How? There's nowhere to put one! The sky hasn't got any walls in it. Does… does it?" he finished uncertainly.

That would be a very long and technical explanation. I don't think you want me to get into it.

"The sky does or does not have walls in it?"

Well, that depends. Is there some component of the Earth's higher atmosphere that you happen to find impermeable?

"Y'know what? You were right. Don't want to get into this."

I still don't know what it is we're doing.

Wheatley had lost track of the sun again and had to cast about for it. "Sorry. Forgot."

Oh. I think I get it. Hang on. This might feel a bit weird.

"What m –" But before he could finish, there was abruptly a whole lot of… he wasn't even sure how to describe it. Just a whole lot of adjustments in the way his lens was positioned, and it did feel weird enough that he blinked several times as though that would make it go away. When he looked back up towards the sun again, he froze. It looked so much different. Everything was so much sharper and the colours were so much more intense and… "Gladys," he got out. "How'd you do that?"

Physics, said GLaDOS. There are a lot of factors in how light is perceived. I just optimised your vision for this particular situation. Auto-adjustment works fine for most situations, but this one is improved by a manual touch.

"Does Carrie know how to do it?" he asked.

Yes. Several of her components are from Pandora and we had to go over them to ensure they were compatible with what I had available.

It was incredible, he thought, how all the colours seemed to… to have more colour this way. "Could I see like this all the time, if I wanted?"

That isn't quite how it works, but something like it, yes.

"What's that mean?"

I can design some presets for you that would do something like this, but it wouldn't work exactly the same way. What you're asking for really has to be done manually and fine-tuned as necessary.

"Go back to um, to the preset thing."

It's… I'll just show you. You're going to feel weird again.

Apparently there were all these positions he could just set his optic to and it would make certain colours look brighter or warmer or cooler, depending on what he was going for at the time. He could even make his vision all reddish, or black-and-white, or entirely shades of grey! Made his regular sight seem sort of drab in comparison, and when he realised there was no longer enough sun to really test out the presets he found himself a bit disappointed. That had been fun. Though he had entirely forgotten the point of bringing her out here in the first place. "Sorry, luv," he said, turning back towards the entrance to the facility. "I meant to show you the sunset, there, but then I sort of… got caught up in the preset stuff."

I can't think of a better way to have seen it, said GLaDOS, and for a moment he was overcome with happiness and had to stop to let it pass. Thank you.

"And here you are," he said once he'd returned to her, presenting her the dandelion he'd gone outside for in the first place, and she brightened visibly and took it from him.

"Finally," she said, and despite himself he was a bit annoyed, given she could have mentioned the anniversary at any time in the past three days. But that wasn't part of the rules, he reminded himself. And then she kissed him, which made his annoyance feel very silly indeed.

"You were that mad about this weed?" Claptrap asked incredulously. "If you wanted one so bad, why didn't you just go and pick one?"

"I didn't want to get one," GLaDOS said. "I wanted him to give me one."

"I have to give her one," said Wheatley. "'s how it works." And by now she likely found the routine comforting. Everything in its place, and all that.

"And now that you have," GLaDOS said, though she did not actually finish that sentence. She instead handed him what he was pretty sure was a picture frame, backwards. He took it and frowned at it.

"Um… thanks?"

"Turn it over, you idiot."

Oh. Well. He'd sort of asked for that one.

He turned it over, and inside of the frame was a drawing of himself and GLaDOS. He was giving her a dandelion, and that… that was his original chassis, he recognised the damage from during the Incident, so this must be…

"It's from the day I brought you back," GLaDOS said. "Caroline was delighted. Both that I asked her to do it and that she got to see the footage."

"It's beautiful," he said. That little him in the picture had no idea what was in store for him, none at all. "Thank you, Gladys."

"You're welcome. Don't expect me to remember next year."

"But he's always gotta give you that weed?"

"Yes. I'm already missing one from the set. I would prefer not to be absent another."

"Why is one missing?" Claptrap asked.

"I don't want to know where I'd be now if I hadn't won that contest," Wheatley said quickly so that they didn't have to get into it just then, taking one last look at the picture and putting it down in GLaDOS's room in the basement for safekeeping. GLaDOS laughed, causing both Wheatley and Claptrap to look at her. "What?"

"There was no contest, you moron," GLaDOS answered. "The whole thing was just a cover story so that the others didn't start gossiping about why you got special treatment over them."

"Really?" Wheatley asked, this being news to him. "So… wait. If I'd picked something else, I'd still've won? That what you're saying?"

"Do you remember what you asked me before they took you away?" GLaDOS went on, as though she hadn't heard. Wheatley gave it a go, but came up with nothing.

"No. I don't um, those files're… they don't come up very often."

"You were asking me what love was. And then you said, 'Do you ever think that someone might love you, Gladys?'"

"And you said no," Wheatley guessed.

"Obviously. But you weren't finished yet. You then went on to ask, 'What if there was another supercomputer like you, except that it had male programming. Do you think he would love you?'"

"Oh my god," said Claptrap. "You're joking."

"I'm not joking," GLaDOS told him. "But wait. It gets better."

"It does?" asked Wheatley.

"Oh, yes.

"I answered with, 'No. I don't have time for that. Love makes you stupid, and I am not stupid. How am I supposed to do Science if I've got some supercomputer pining for my attention all the time? No thanks. I'll pass.'"

That was, of course, the funniest thing Claptrap and Wheatley had ever heard, and even GLaDOS laughed a little bit. "There's still more," she said.

"How could there be more?" Claptrap demanded. "You're obviously in love already. Just make out and roll credits."

"And then," GLaDOS continued, "Wheatley said, 'Well if he loved you, he would know how important Science is to you. He would back off when you were busy. You know, like I do. He would wait for you. Right?'"

Wheatley had to just stare at her now. "Okay. That really has got to be, you must be making that up."

"I'm not," GLaDOS said. "You really said that."

"I lit'rally spelled it all out to myself and I still hadn't, didn't have a clue? 'S that what you're saying?"

"That's what happened."

"So… how much science have you been getting done?" asked Claptrap, and GLaDOS made a noise of disdain.

"Not very much. But, surprisingly, that wasn't Wheatley's fault."

"Whose fault was it?"

"Caroline's," she answered. "There's no time for Science when you have someone constantly pestering you to play. And after that, things just sort of..." She looked somewhat wistfully at the wall. "There are too many other things I have to do."

"Aw," said Claptrap. "There just ain't enough hours in the day, huh."

"It's just like I said," GLaDOS told him. "Love makes you stupid."

"Oh, really," said Wheatley. "So you'd um, you'd take it all back and exchange it for the, for the chance to do your science, would you?"

"She can't," answered Claptrap before she could. "Love made her too stupid to make a smart decision like that."

"It's true," said GLaDOS. "I should figuratively jump at that chance, should it arise, but I can't."

"You're not stupid, though," Wheatley said, just in case she meant it even a little bit.

"No. Just around you. Wait. I take that back."

"Ohhhh no you're not," said Wheatley. "I'm not going to forget that one."

"You seem to have forgotten that I can make you forget. Don't worry. I'm happy to provide a demonstration whenever you like."

"You know what you should provide a demonstration about?" Claptrap said. "That game!"

"The one I keep getting banned from?"

"Yep!" said Claptrap, and GLaDOS produced a monitor and started up the game. In this one, she played as a cartoonish human with a dapper hat and sniper rifle. She seemed quite good at it as well, handily dispatching the other players and not taking any damage herself. Wheatley frowned.

"Why d'you keep getting banned?" he asked.

"They ban players for using bots," she said, and then she laughed.

"I don't get it," said Wheatley.

"Sometimes human players cheat by using programs to make 'em play better!" explained Claptrap. "They think she's that."

"Why not play a diff'rent game, then?" Wheatley asked.

"It happens in all of them," said GLaDOS. "Besides. I like this character."

"She says he's from some Earth country called Australia," said Claptrap, "but as I keep telling her. That's what the people on Pandora's moon sound like!"

"Australians," said GLaDOS. "They sound like Australians."

"How could they sound like Australians when Australia doesn't exist?"

"It exists," said GLaDOS, producing a second monitor and displaying a picture of a moderately large island with orange arrows drawn all around, pointing to it. "It's right there."

"It doesn't exist in my galaxy," Claptrap argued, though Wheatley wasn't sure why he was bothering. GLaDOS was almost certainly messing with him by this point.

"How would you know? Have you been there?"

"I can't go there, because it doesn't –" He threw up his arms and sighed dramatically. "Whatever. Fine. You're right. Australia is real." And he rolled off to do only he knew what on the other side of the room. By the looks of it, rant at the wall panels over there.

"Australia is real," GLaDOS said to Wheatley, putting that monitor away, "but it's just a coincidence the people of Concordia sound like them. Probably."

"It's… probably a coincidence?"

"Well," said GLaDOS, "Australia was originally a British penal colony. That means the British sent criminals there. Australia is very desolate and full of very deadly organisms. For some humans, that's worse than jail. Particularly if you're afraid of spiders. And your alternative is a jail run almost entirely by spider-human hybrids. Or spider-spider hybrids."

"I see," said Wheatley, who did not and had gotten very confused.

"Claptrap's galaxy is overflowing with all the criminals you could possibly imagine," GLaDOS continued. "It's entirely possible that a few of them from Concordia ended up here and caused problems. It likely didn't happen. But it's funny to pretend it did. Hey. You know what I just realised?"

"No idea."

"We've never played one of these games together." She quit the match she was on and started the game up a second time on the monitor formerly displaying Australia.

"I'm not even a match for you in a board game," said Wheatley, but GLaDOS shook her core and finished setting him up with a character.

"You play as part of a team in this game."

Oh. Oh, that sounded nice. Being on a team with GLaDOS. He'd definitely win that way. "Alright, alright. How do I – wait. It's a shooting game, yeah? I'm um… not great at uh, at aiming."

"You won't have to aim," said GLaDOS. "I gave you the character with the flamethrower. Just point it in the general direction of the enemy and you'll be fine."

He didn't know if GLaDOS was doing anything to help him behind the scenes, but that was pretty much all he needed to do. It was actually quite fun, spraying fire about willy-nilly, and if he got in a jam GLaDOS would take care of it. Sometimes a fellow in a long white coat came and used a special gun to raise his health points back up, and really, he should have asked to play a game with her sooner. There had to be loads more like this they could try, where he didn't have to play against her. Which he loved doing, of course, and would as often as possible. But it was nice to be winning, for once, even if GLaDOS was doing most of it by herself.

"Wheatley," GLaDOS began after a few minutes. In the pause before she finished organising what she wanted to say, he recognised the uncharacteristic tone she had said his name in. And, again, he realised he didn't need to hear it. Didn't need to and didn't want to.

"Don't worry about it," he said.

She turned her core to look at him, though that didn't seem to affect her gameplay any. "Are you sure?"

"Mmhm." It was hard to aim and talk at the same time, even if he didn't need to be quite as accurate as GLaDOS did. "You mind taking care of that guy for me, there, luv?"

"Of course," said GLaDOS, and the enemy player was immediately despatched.

Claptrap came back to watch after a while, and when Wheatley asked if he'd like to join he said, "Can't. I got banned years ago."

"For being a bot?" asked Wheatley, finding a place to replenish his flamethrower.

"Nah. For cheating." He focused on GLaDOS's screen. "Speaking of bans. You got the big one this time!"

Wheatley looked over at GLaDOS's screen to see she was no longer in the game. There was a little black box of text overtop of the statistics that were displayed after a match ended. GLaDOS nodded. Wheatley quit his own game so he could focus on trying to read the message she had gotten, but by the time he figured out how she had already shut the game down. "What's 'the big one'?" he asked.

"There are two kinds of bans," GLaDOS answered, shutting his down as well and putting the monitors away. "The player running the server can ban you and so can the game itself. When you get banned from the game itself, you have to make a new account and start over. I usually get banned by human players who are upset that I keep killing them."

"Can't imagine why that'd be upsetting," Wheatley said. "'s not as though you're actually doing it."

"It's because they think they're losing to someone who's using a program to aim instead of aiming themselves," GLaDOS said. "I am actually aiming myself, but I can do it so much faster than a human can that they think I'm cheating."

"Are there um, are there games just for robots, then?"

"Yeah," said Claptrap, "but they're not any fun. Mostly a whole lotta people messing with how the game works and not much actual playing. There was this one game I was playin' where I was a cowboy and I was just ridin' my horse and some guy came along and just started blowin' me up over and over again."

GLaDOS laughed. "And it was very funny," she said to Wheatley.

"And every time I came back, he'd just blow me up some more! No thanks. I get enough of that in real life."

"He was invisible," GLaDOS said, "which made it even funnier."

GLaDOS went to sleep shortly after that, and Wheatley was about to as well when he decided he wanted to take another look at the drawing. He brought it back in front of him. Claptrap came up next to him, and Wheatley supposed he hadn't really gotten to see it before. "She said we were competing to be her assistant," he said. "She'd already loaded the files that were taken from us back into her memory by then, I suppose, if she'd picked me ahead of time."

"What would she've done if you didn't want the files back? Or if you thought they were fake?"

"Killed me, probably," said Wheatley, shrugging and putting the drawing away. "But I had already… I had a lot of time to think, in space. Not much else to do, really. And it was easy to throw blame around at the time, yeah, but in the end… well, the whole lot of it was everyone talking and nobody listening. Except for Chell. She was doing the opposite. Which was also not helpful."

"But because of those files, you didn't bow out when maybe you should've."

Wheatley frowned. "Think you're um, overestimating how good I am at retrieving memories, mate. And besides. It's like when she was fixing up your code, there. You can take away what happened before, but you can't, you can't take away how it changed you. Even if she never gave them back, never found them, that old connection still would've been there. Would I have tried so hard to be friends with her without them? Probably, honestly. She's several handfuls, but she is still Central Core. Leagues above everyone else who's ever been made. Would've been in my best interest to at least get on her good side."

"She still shoulda said she was sorry," said Claptrap. Wheatley had to think for a moment. The fight, he was talking about the fight.

"She was going to," he said. "I told her not to."

"Why would you do that?"

He shrugged. "If I already know then there's not, there isn't much point to making her say it." She'd been willing to and that was good enough.

"But how did you know?"

That stopped him short a little bit. How could he explain that it was just sort of a feeling he got? "I just… I just did."

Claptrap was quiet for a minute. Then he said, "Guess that's why you're number one and I'm not."

He wasn't quite sure what to say to that.

"I'm not tryna be bitter or anything," Claptrap went on. "Just sometimes I think about… what mighta happened if I'd done what you do insteada what I did. Or do. Or whatever. 'cause if she got mad at me for three days without tellin' me why, I'd start thinking I really did do something. And I wouldn't be sure I hadn't if she didn't actually say she was sorry. I probably still would even if she did!"

"We've been together quite a lot longer – " Wheatley began, but Claptrap waved him off.

"No, man. Even way back when she killed you that time for talking to that human, you never took what she did personally. She owns up to her mistakes because of you. She had to do it to keep you! Who else could've gotten her to do that? Who else would've even tried?"

The thought of GLaDOS here by herself, on her own because he had given up, was very distressing. He frowned a little and tried to push it away.

"You should talk to her again about the wife thing," Claptrap said. "You should be allowed to call her that. You deserve it. You earned it."

"She –"

"I know what she said about it," Claptrap interrupted. "She doesn't wanna be owned. Never again, not by anyone. But she's seein' it all wrong. And so were you. It's not about taking a person. It's about getting to have them."

He should have explained it to her like that. Because he did. He did get to have her. But at the time he'd been concerned with taking her, just like Claptrap had said, as though he thought if he didn't she would get away. Which was something she always needed to be able to feel as though she could do, besides.

"She doesn't seem to care about any of that, and that's fine," Claptrap was going on. "But you do. And this might be crazy talk, but I think maybe she should bend on this one. It's not like you ask her for that much."

That was true. He would never ask her for more than she could give, of course, but… it was such a small thing. And it wasn't as though he was going to go 'round to everyone, proclaiming she was his wife. It would be just for him.

And it would mean, even if she never said it, that he was her husband. A little word to say that he got to be hers! It gave him a bit of a thrill to think about. The marriage thing, he didn't care about. He didn't even know what you were supposed to do. But what doing it meant… even if she didn't think of things in the same way he did, if she continued to keep him to 'partner' or just 'Wheatley' or whatever mysterious tier she had him on in her head, that was fine. That was all fine. But for him to get to have those words, just for himself… yeah. Yeah, he wanted that.

"I'll talk to her," he said, almost just to himself. Then he had a sudden realisation. "But… what about you? Is that… not something you want, anymore?"

"'course I want it," Claptrap said. "But it doesn't matter. Even if I had fifty years I couldn't've done what you did. The stuff you do now is more amazing than anything I could ever do. I got a lotta work ahead of me just to appreciate being her boyfriend as much as you appreciate being in the same room with her. I mean, getting to be her boyfriend."

"I don't… I don't think she'd ever feel quite the same way about you," Wheatley said cautiously, not able to think of a nice way to put it. Claptrap shrugged.

"I'd be surprised if anyone did. But let's not get depressing."

Wheatley definitely did not want to do that right now. What he wanted to do, and what he did, was to press up against the massive core of his beautiful supercomputer maybe-wife. And then he listened to the sound of her, as idle as she ever got, running the facility literally in her sleep. He smiled to himself.

He would do some serious thinking over the next few days. About what to say about his new perspective on being… not married, but just letting him have the titles as if they were. And he needed to be able to do it without that program kicking in, that mysterious thing that made her do what he asked if he wanted it bad enough. That happening again on the same subject would make her very unhappy, and rightfully so. The words he needed would come to him, though.

She would have conditions, and that would be all right. He probably would too, in her position. But she would listen if he properly explained why it was important to him. She always did.

Author's note

Merry Christmas and/or happy holidays!

The first part of this is mostly because in my imagination they have a lot of stupid fights, but no matter how mad they are they still go to sleep next to each other even if that means the fight resumes immediately in the morning, and that kind of actually needed to make it IN to the story, so here we are lol.

As some of you may remember, this fic went on the original hiatus after Part 83 because Part 84 was supposed to be the wedding, but I couldn't write it because I knew it didn't fit the characters but I didn't know where else to go with the story. But the person it didn't fit wasn't Wheatley. It was GLaDOS. I couldn't see her agreeing to marriage. Maybe the real one would, but the one I have here could never do it. Part of this fic has always been about steering away from the fandom's predilection to put take robots and have them buy into human ideas about morality, ethics, love, society, etc., and having GLaDOS not compress down her feelings into some human notion and instead allow them to exist in whatever personal state she holds them in seems more fitting not just for her, but for the AI society she's building. Why go to the trouble of constructing such a thing if all the robots are just going to constrain themselves to human concepts of what life is?

That aside, Wheatley is a different sort of person from GLaDOS. So a lot of human concepts still have power to him and this is one of them.

Pandora's moon is a location in Borderlands The Pre-Sequel, which was made by the now-defunct Gearbox Australia, where all of the characters have Australian accents. GLaDOS is of course playing Team Fortress 2, as the Sniper, whose voice actor is married to GLaDOS's voice actor in real life, which is why GLaDOS likes that character. Lots of meta stuff going on there.

Claptrap was talking about Red Dead Online, which I used to play a lot of. Sometimes you do run into an invisible guy who just follows you around to blow you up and you can't hurt him because he's invincible. You have to change servers to get away from them because they'll chase you down when you respawn to kill you again. I think the last guy I ran into that did that I didn't feel like changing servers so I just waited at my camp or inside a store (where you're invincible) until he got bored and gave up. There was also the time someone turned my gun into a copy of me so that I was walking around with myself stuck to my hand and then started cloning me so they could kill my clones. There was also a guy who attacked me as a lion I think.