He didn't know how to react to what he witnessed. As soon as his eyes followed their lips touch, he was at the stairs, running in the quiet back to his room on his toes, undetected.
The anger was filling him to the brim, this being the first time he'd ever felt this type of betrayal, though he knew he shouldn't. Feeling this way was unwarranted and it was by his own doing. He was the master of his own destruction and always had been. Reid wasn't positive how to behave, aware that he didn't technically have any reason to be angry with Tyler. After all, the guy didn't know how he actually felt about Ana... hell, Ana didn't even know how he felt about Ana. He knew Tyler well enough to know for a fact that if he told him, he never would've even gone there. It wouldn't have ever been a thought.
An idiot, he called himself.
Hearing fast approaching footsteps at the door, he jumped in his bed, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep in the darkness. He couldn't look at him, not right now, the temptation to unload all of his frustrations on him being too great and he knew he couldn't do that to him.
"Reid, you up, man?" He heard him whisper, a sigh replacing the silence of not receiving a reply.
Listening carefully, he heard him climbing into his bed now and felt an immense amount of relief.
Reid had no idea how long it would take before he'd feel that he could talk to him normally, like nothing he had done had upset him.
He figured he may be ignoring him for a couple of days to avoid a blowup.
Sitting in his own personal purgatory, he often wondered why he was like this and what he could do to stop it. He'd come up with ideas sometimes but actually putting them into action...
He hadn't gotten that far yet.
It was quite difficult to focus in her various classes that day, not entirely sure of what exactly happened the previous night, if it was even real, but Ana was already growing tired of feeling this wave on uncertainty when she woke. Anxiously tapping her pen against the desk, she'd catch herself subtly glancing Tyler's way and noted he was never looking back. She couldn't help but be worried for what it would do to their friendship, antsy in her seat to just get it all sorted out.
The textbook was laid out before her, notebook open and ready for her usual diligent note-taking but her mind was somewhere else completely, staring blankly at the chalkboard.
Both Kate and Sarah offered concerned, unsure faces, asking what her mood was about but she couldn't come up with a single thing to say. She knew that her stressed presence must have been rolling off of her in surges, affecting those near and attempted to think of anything else yet where her mind was taken to was debatably worse.
What if everything was ruined now? She couldn't bare the thought.
Sarah asked her yet again if she was alright, even wondering if she was falling ill. Pulling herself together, she swore that everything was fine, that she was just already worried for finals in the coming months and in reality, that wasn't a lie, it just also wasn't the whole truth.
The bell singling that English was over with took her by surprise, the day discernibly moving along much faster than she anticipated and gathering her items with haste.
Both girls were at either side of her in an instant, chatting her ears off about anything and everything. They went from exams to boys, expressing excitement for snow but dismay for runny noses and all in an effort to cheer her up. It was working.
Smiling genuinely for the first time that morning, she showed her gratitude for them, giving them both a hug as she saw Reid in her peripheral. Ana promised she'd catch up with them later, departing quickly to not lose sight of the blonde boy when they mentioned there was going to be another rather large bonfire that night, obviously intending to come.
She agreed to go, admitting it sounded like a good time before saying goodbye once again and sprinting to catch up with Reid.
He'd continued walking although she knew he heard her call his name, falling into step beside him meanwhile he ignored her existence. It was definitely weird behavior coming from him, putting her off but she wanted to look past it, following him out of one of the double doors and speaking just sooner than he could start making his way down the short stairs.
"Hey, where have you been? I didn't hear from you at all yesterday."
"Around." He stated, blunt and cold.
She figured the retort to be a bit irregular, continuing as normal but undoubtedly a little troubled.
"Um, well there's supposed to be a bonfire tonight." She proposed cheerily, hoping to gain a reaction.
"That's cool."
Once again, his tone was very cold and unresponsive toward her and reply short. Her brows furrowed, trying desperately to understand the odd character before her. If anything, she figured that she was the one who very well still deserved to be upset about the night before last, unsure of what on Earth could possibly be distressing him and why he would seemingly be taking it out on her.
"If you don't wanna go I'm sure there's something else we could all do-"
"Why don't you just go hang out with Tyler, huh?"
The sudden outburst took her by surprise and not only that, but also the bite it had with it. Not thinking she could be further perplexed, she was proven wrong, unable to even prod her mind as to what having to do with Tyler would make him this angry, sputtering the only word that came to mind in that instant.
"What?"
"Oh, don't you play dumb, Ana." He spat, "I saw you yesterday."
"What are you-" Stopping short, the recognition then hit her all at once, quickly being replaced with shock. "You can't seriously be mad because he kissed me."
She was astonished, completely taken aback at the amount of emotion he was exuding as he always acted as though nothing regarding a girl would bother him. Yet here they were, his glare on fire and entirely unmoving from her own as he bore into her soul, his presence uncomfortably close given the context as he stared down at her. She felt so small.
"Is that the story you're going with? How insightful from a little whore."
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She shot back, stunned.
"Just telling you what I saw." He claimed, nonchalant as those eyes added insult to injury.
"He kissed me. It was a kiss." She reiterated, "It's not like I went home with him."
His stare was dangerous, electric and his eyes went dark blue with rage within the silence. She couldn't understand why he was acting this way, especially considering that it was all on him that they weren't exclusive, entirely his own idea they act like they hadn't been together at all. If he cared about them, cared about her, he needed to just say that and it was upsetting her until she wasn't upset, she was livid.
"You gonna have this same energy with Tyler?" She questions. "Oh, wait, you can't! Because that would require you telling him we've been together."
"I might as well now, not like you're some treat anyway." He alleged passively.
"Oh, that must explain why you're so mad at me." With a roll of her eyes, she crossed her arms definitively.
"Mad isn't the right word," He began, "More like disappointed and slightly angry."
"Disappointed? You're the one who went off with some girl the other night! You went and fucked a whole ass human and you're getting all worked up that a guy kissed me! Do you even hear yourself? Are you able to see the hypocrisy?" She shouted, slowly losing whatever patience she had left.
"How'd I know you'd hold that over me," He sighed, "I just didn't think you were that type of girl, Analeigh." He muttered, slow and dark to contrast her tone.
"The type that has other guys interested? Sorry I'm not in control of that, I'll try harder." She mocked.
"No, a one person type of person-"
"And why should I be? It's not like you are or you're planning to be."
Going silent, the rain suddenly became heavier as if to offset the drop in sound, a blaring symphony smacking the pavement in the distance to soundtrack their argument.
Her entire body went hot with rage, flushed chest and heavy breathing indicative of her stress and resentful demeanor. She couldn't believe what was happening before her eyes, completely floored with his attitude because he was really being so incredibly childish, getting upset about a situation that he ultimately put himself in with being so afraid of commitment. Shaking her head, she took a step around him, first foot landing on the stair when he pulled her arm back.
"Hey, we aren't done here-"
"I am." She stated, shaking his hand off. "God, you're so infuriating!"
"I'm the infuriating one, huh?! You're driving me fucking crazy, Ana!" His voice boomed. "I don't understand my feelings. I've never felt this way about another person and I don't know how people deal with it!"
"Usually you just commit to that person." She spoke pointedly. "So something like this can be avoided."
"Well I can't."
"You can't? What's so hard about being with someone you care about?"
"What makes you say I care about you?" He snapped. "I said I don't know how I feel."
And there he was, right back to it. As soon as she thought he was letting her in, he slammed the door back harder, right in her face.
"You know what? You don't have the right to be angry with me." Ana claimed harshly. "We aren't together, remember? We aren't anything."
"And thank God for that!" Reid yelled, venomous, throwing his hands in quite the show of annoyance before they slapped down beside his legs again.
She watched as his form faded further into the distant fog and storm clouds, collapsing onto the brick stairs with face falling into the palms of her hands. It was all becoming too much, the amount of pressure she was feeling to keep the peace with absolutely everybody on a daily basis wasn't even remotely working and she was only hurting herself in the process. Having no idea what she was doing anymore and for what reasons, the first tear seared down her blotchy cheeks. Choking back sobs through gritted teeth at his words and swiping at tears with unsteady hands, she went from angry to empty to nothing.
Nothing at all.
Ana wasn't sure how long she had been sitting precisely where he left her, her feeling of time most definitely not being correct as it seemed like hours, probably only being thirty minutes, maximum.
She hadn't felt this low in a very long while, taking long, deep breaths to calm herself. The rain subsided, as had her tears, slumped with her elbows resting on her thighs.
Hearing her name being called from a distance, she stood from the stoop, having had enough time to gather her composure and allow the redness of her eyes to dissipate, quickly wiping away any remnants from their fight off of her face.
"Hey, there you are. I've been looking for you all morning." Tyler said with a smile.
"Well, you found me."
Taking the concrete walkway, she pulled the jacket tighter around her torso, only realizing now that the cruel weather hadn't been her friend while she sat, having a difficult time moving her fingers now. He looked confused as to why she was walking away, gesturing for him to join her.
"I'm freezing, you're gonna have to multitask for me."
He fell in line beside her, wasting no time.
"Do you know what Reid's problem is? He's ignoring me again and I have no idea why."
The pit that formed in her stomach from earlier dropped even lower, biting her lip.
She knew exactly what his issue was and with no way of admitting it to him, she was frustrated. Frustrated with herself, but mostly with Reid for putting her in this position.
"Sorry, no." She lied all too easily, "Can't help you there."
"Figured it was worth asking everyone." He shrugged, opening the door for her to walk inside of the next building.
He stood in front of her for a beat, visibly unsure if he wanted to speak or not. She knew it was coming but had no clue where it would go, attempting to prepare herself for any scenario. He considered leaving it there, just walking away and letting enough time pass that he wouldn't need to mention it but that didn't feel right.
"I'm sorry about last night." He blurted, the statement spewing from his mouth before he could stop it. "I kind of sprung that on you-"
"Don't even worry about it." She reassured, the boy reminding her of a scared shelter dog in that moment.
"Um, so, we're good, right?" He asked nervously, something else clearly on his mind but unwilling to share it.
Ana nodded. "Of course."
She found comfort in that resolution as he walked off with vigor, not desiring to embarrass him further as she gave him a wave and a smile, which he reciprocated. Though she could see that there was more he wanted to say, she dropped the thought immediately, realizing that it wouldn't get her anywhere to linger on it. Knowing she needed to let people come to her when they were ready instead on pondering every little thing, she forced her mind to go blank.
The thought crossed his mind to attend the bonfire, ultimately deciding against it as he had a sneaking suspicion that seeing everyone else having a great time while he felt like human garbage probably wouldn't aid in cheering him up at all. His heavy feet led him to Nicky's, being quite dead on a Monday night and selecting one of the empty barstools.
Sitting before the large, burly man with his grown out beard, he stared at him for a moment, offering him a glass of water.
"Wrong place to get alcohol, Reid, you know that." He lectured.
"Lucky that's not what I'm here for then."
In desperate need of advice, his body took him the only place he knew he could get it. There was nobody else he could trust with this information, nobody he could think of that would understand just how sacred the privacy of a conversation of this caliber is, needing to skip any pestering or too intrusive of questioning. He would be teased, ridiculed by the other Sons if he came to them.
Nicky titled his head, perplexed, "What's heavy on your mind, kid?"
Reid sighed into his hands, rubbing his eyes.
"I really messed up."
"A girl?" He asked, catching onto his mood.
"Yeah, but not just any girl."
"Really?" He was surprised, "Serious then?"
"I think it could be. But I just keep making a mess of everything."
"And how are you managing that?"
"I said some things I shouldn't have," He paused, swallowing, "Awful things."
Nicky leaned over the bar, patting his shoulder encouragingly. "Nothing you can't fix, right?"
"I think so, but..." He trailed off, closing his eyes to collect his words as Nicky waited patiently, wiping dry some cleaned glasses.
"She believes in me in ways that I can't. I need to be a man that she deserves but I'm not so sure I'm capable of that and... it's hard to explain normally."
"So how would you explain it?"
His face contorted in frustration with all of the failed attempts to speak his mind, mouth opening and closing without being successful in actually uttering a single word.
"She's isn't mine-" He paused, seemingly in debate over whether or not his thought would suffice, finishing in a whisper, "But I'm already hers."
That's a wrap on chapter eleven! As always, please be sure to follow and favorite if you enjoyed reading and pretty please leave me a review down below. I love you forever if you take the time to review, it makes my heart smile. xx