A/N: Thanks for your reviews, sorry for the long delay.
Chapter 26
Mid-Monday morning, Jim sat in a conference room of the law firm, tapping his pen against the table, the words on the documents in front of him just a blur of words that weren't saturating his brain at all. He picked up his cup of black coffee and took a sip, hoping it would wash away some of the cobwebs in his head but he knew the effort was futile at best. His mind was too full and not one thing filling it was the case documents laying in front of him. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that small tingle of anxiety that he always carried with him for days anytime Katie got hurt on the job. He really didn't know how he didn't have an ulcer by now; either his stomach was made of lead or he was just somehow resistant but didn't cross of the possibility of gaining one at any time thanks to his daughter's chosen profession. He suppressed a sigh, his daughter and grandchild were dominating his thoughts the last few days…and Johanna too as he watched her worry and battle her own anxiety.
Jim stole a glance at his watch, only eleven a.m., Katie's follow up appointment wasn't until one-thirty that afternoon. That left too much time to worry and dwell…and he knew his daughter's worry was even more pronounced than his and Johanna's but he was feeling the weight just the same. The weight of worry…of fear…and tiredness. Katie's accident on Thursday had guaranteed that he and Johanna would have a restless weekend and not much sleep. He scrubbed a hand over his face; it had felt like one of the longest weekends of his life as they had flinched every time the phone rang…and it seemed to ring a lot every time their daughter had a twinge or a moment of anxiety and needed a second opinion from her mother. He didn't mind that; he was glad that Katie wanted her mother involved and he knew Johanna didn't mind the calls…even the one that had came in the middle of the night the night before, but his wife was trying hard to shove her own worries away so she could give that comfort and assurance. She cracked once in awhile, allowed her fears to slip out with a few tears and he'd have to shove his worries aside and put her back together. It was what they did…it was part of being a parent…but they were tired, he mused. Worry, anxiety, and lack of sleep was taking a toll…which was why he had driven Johanna to work that morning. She had only gotten a few hours sleep because of Katie's call and had still been a bit drowsy at breakfast. He didn't want her behind the wheel today…but his own work schedule meant she'd had to wait in her office for him for an hour after her classes were over and he hated to do that to her when he knew she'd be craving the comfort of home where she could wait on Katie's call about her doctor appointment in peace.
Who was he kidding? Johanna wasn't the only waiting for Katie to call to give the update about her follow up appointment. He was just as anxious to hear from their daughter. Jim blew out a soft breath, he and Johanna both had been trying to function solely on faith and the fact that Katie hadn't had any indications that her tumble down the stairs had affected the baby…but still he worried…and those little what ifs kept flicking through his mind. What if something was wrong when she went to the doctor today? Katie would blame herself for the rest of her life and Johanna would be just as shattered…and so would he. He was looking forward to being a grandfather…of helping Johanna arrange Katie's old room to be a nursery again…of buying little gifts to spoil his grandchild…thinking about the things he would teach it…the things he and Johanna would do with their grandchild. He was looking forward to having a little one around the house…anxious to see how this new chapter would enrich their lives…and most of all, he loved seeing that small spark of light in Johanna's eyes every time she spoke of their grandchild. Her ray of sunshine after the storm…it was just what she needed to finish healing…something to give her that last nudge of fully moving on...or perhaps he should say it was the last nudge of fully moving on for both of them. He wanted to see his daughter become a mother, not just so she'd know the torment that she had sometimes inflicted on them but because he wanted to see what it would bring out in her…hoped it would soften some of that toughness she put on and wore like a comfortable jacket. He wanted this baby to help her move on too. He wanted to see his wife as a grandmother. This little tiny baby was a chance at renewal for their family…a wonderful little thing to shake things up and force them to change once more but in a positive way this time…bring back the closeness they had always had with their daughter. They all wanted this baby so badly…and if it was to be torn away from them…well…he wasn't sure any of them could handle the loss, himself included.
"Jim, what's on your mind?" Jeff asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Jim's gaze jerked toward his friend. "What?"
"I asked what's on your mind," Jeff repeated. "You're driving me crazy tapping your pen and you only do that when something's bothering you; not to mention the fact that's it's easy to tell that you're lost somewhere in your head. Is Sassy alright? She's usually the only one that can tangle you up so much."
He shook his head. "No, Jo's fine. I drove her to work this morning."
Jeff studied him inquisitively. "She usually drives herself…is something wrong?"
"She's tired, I didn't want her driving."
Zach began to study him as well. "What's going on, Jim?"
"You know you can tell us," Antonio added in. "There isn't any trouble involving Johanna, is there?"
"No, she's not in any trouble…the past has remained where it belongs," he assured. "Katie had an accident at work Thursday evening. We spent most of the night at the hospital and it's been a very long weekend."
"What happened?" Zach asked. "Is she okay?"
Jim breathed deeply. "She was apprehending a suspect and he sent her flying down a flight of stairs. She has a bump on her head, bruised ribs, sore ankle…minor injuries thankfully but…"
"What about the baby!?" Jeff exclaimed.
"Baby?" Antonio repeated.
"What baby?" Zach asked.
Jim sighed once more as he looked at Jeff. "You know I told you to keep that quiet, Jeff. She didn't want anyone to know yet."
"Katie's pregnant?" Zach inquired.
"Yes," Jim said with a nod.
"Is the baby okay?" Jeff asked.
"As far as we know," he answered. "She was checked twice Thursday night and they said the baby was fine, no signs or symptoms of miscarriage…but she's been panicked all weekend, for good reason, worried that every little thing means she might be having one. Her anxiety has her needing her mother…Jo's getting a lot of phone calls at all hours from her and we're trying very hard to keep her reassured that everything is going to be fine. She's going to be off work for awhile…and she goes back to the doctor today to make sure everything is still alright with the baby."
"Why didn't you tell this was going on Friday?" Jeff asked. "All you said was you were tired because you didn't sleep well."
"That was true, I didn't sleep well…because we didn't get home until after one that morning," Jim replied. "I don't know why I didn't mention it…I guess because I know Katie didn't want the news of the baby to be out yet and I've already told people…and now I feel guilty for that because what if…"
"No what ifs," Zach said with a shake of his head. "They'll both be fine and you know you can trust us, we're not going to tell anyone about her pregnancy. It stays in this room."
"I appreciate that," Jim said with a nod. "She called Jo at one this morning because she couldn't sleep and she didn't want to keep Rick up for another night. She's a nervous wreck and I know Johanna is too but she's doing her best to keep it suffocated for Katie's sake but I see it…and she's so tired. She can't sleep when something like this is on her mind."
"I think you're both tired," Jeff remarked. "Why the hell didn't both of you stay home today?"
He shrugged. "Going to work seemed like the best thing to do. She only has a few more weeks of classes so she can't really afford to lose time and I have appointments to help with today. Katie's appointment isn't until the afternoon so we just figured we'd go to work as usual. I told her I wouldn't be able to pick her up until around one so she'll go to her office after classes."
Zach shook his head. "You should go get her, go home, wait for Katie's call."
"I have things to do here and hours before Katie's going to call," Jim replied.
"Then just go be with Johanna," Antonio commented. "We can handle things today."
"Yeah," Jeff said with a nod. "Get out of here and go get Sassy…if you want to be out of the house I get that but go find something the two of you can do that's not any pressure like work is. If you go now, by the time you get to Columbia her last class will almost be over."
"But what about these clients coming in, we were dividing them up," Jim remarked.
"We'll divide up your share," Zach stated. "Your head isn't in the game anyway, not that we blame you for that, but you'd be better off just heading to the university and picking up Jo so she doesn't have to sit in her office and worry while waiting on you to pick her up."
"You may as well go," Jeff told him. "If you don't, we're just going to drag you out and then call Johanna and tell her some crazy story about how you got kicked out of here."
He gave a soft laugh. "You would too."
"You better believe it," Jeff said with a grin. "Now get out of here, go get your wife…and let me know how Katie's appointment turns out."
"Are you sure?" he asked, hesitating although deep down he would rather go.
"Yes," Zach stated. "Get out of here, we mean it."
Jim nodded and picked his briefcase up from the floor and packed his files in it; he'd stop and get Johanna one of those fancy coffees she liked and then they'd decide how to spend the rest of their waiting time.
Johanna pulled her glasses off and rubbed her tired eyes as she perched on the edge of her desk in the empty classroom. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, the room silent except for the hum of the overhead lights. She had dismissed her class twenty minutes early under the guise of wanting to give them a small break…when really she had just needed to be done for the morning. No, she had desperately needed to be done. Her mind wasn't focused…she was tired…so very tired. Worry kept her stomach nauseas, a dull throb in her head gave her an idea that a migraine would be in her near future. Stress and lack of sleep were triggers for her…but her daughter had needed her…and while she was holding her breath every day, praying to everything that was holy that her grandchild would remain fine, she couldn't help but finally feel like a mother again in her own right. She had been home for a little over three years now and in that time she and Katie had had their battles…their periods of silence…their screaming fights…phone tag and hanging up on each other. Their six week stay in London had meant six weeks of no contact between her and her daughter…and when they returned, another week passed before Katie had finally shown up on the doorstep to see if they had come back. Seven weeks of complete and utter silence…and while in London, a part of her had made her peace with letting Katie go as she thought that was what her daughter wanted. It wasn't what she wanted…but it felt like it was the one thing her daughter wanted from her so she had let go, fought every urge to pick up the phone…forced herself not to expect her to show up when they returned home.
But to her surprise, her girl had come back…and slowly and cautiously, they began again, rebuilding the bond they kept tearing apart. It had been awkward at first…and she could admit that she had mostly left the ball in Katie's court…allowing her to pick the topics, to choose when she wanted to see her. A few lunch dates and some long talks had smoothed things over and made it easier…but still she found herself being cautious…trying not to let her guard down too far just in case Katie decided to shove her away again. Things were different now though…now her daughter was in the process of becoming a mother herself…and she needed her; more than that, she wanted her around. It was a feeling that Johanna had gotten unaccustomed to during the fallout of her return…but now it was there, and even though she didn't want her child or grandchild to be hurt, she couldn't help but soak up that feeling of being needed and wanted. She didn't care how much sleep she lost or about the migraine that would probably spring up before long. All she cared about was being there for Katie; showing her that she was still the mother she had been before she had been left with no choice but to upend their lives so long ago.
Johanna forced her eyes open but allowed her gaze to drop to the greyish white linoleum on the floor. Katie's follow-up appointment was that afternoon…and her stomach was in so many knots she wasn't sure it would ever untangle itself. Her phone was silent…and she knew it was that way because Katie knew she was at work but it made her worry all the more. She had prayed all weekend…prayed to everything and everyone she could think of and was still praying at that moment…that everything would be fine like she had been assuring Katie it would be…that the universe wouldn't be so cruel as to rob them of this tiny life that was bringing so much hope to their lives. Katie needed to have her baby; needed to know what it was like to love as a mother…needed to see that she could be fulfilled by something other than her career…she needed this new chapter of her life…and she herself needed it too, Johanna could admit. She needed this baby just as much; needed this new chapter of life…this new type of love as a grandmother. This new chance of a better relationship with her daughter…a new era for their family that would allow them to move forward and leave the past where it belonged once and for all. It was a lot of hopes to hang on one tiny baby…but she already loved that baby…and couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort that there would finally be one person in her world that wouldn't know anything about the sacrifice she had been forced to make back in 1999. Her grandchild would be untouched by the trauma and anguish of those choices. It would grow to know her for who she was instead of looking at her with a sense of judgement for past misdeeds…and she desperately needed that.
The door of her classroom cracked open, drawing Johanna's gaze toward it as her husband slipped inside quietly. Surprise flicked across his face at finding her alone as he made his way down to her desk, cup of coffee in hand. "Did your students stand you up today?" Jim asked.
Johanna smiled as she met his gaze. "No; honestly, I kicked them out early…I told them I know they're stressed with their projects and deserved a break."
He grinned as he reached her side. "Did they believe you?"
"As you can see, no one argued to stay…but really, I threw them out early because I just wanted to be done for the day…which is terrible, isn't it?"
"No," he said with a laugh. "Teachers deserve breaks too…especially when this one has had a very long weekend and a long day still ahead."
"True," she said as she nodded. "What are you doing here already? I thought you said you wouldn't be able to get here until one or a little after."
Jim gave her a small smile. "They booted me out…said my head wasn't in the game and I should just go collect my wife and find something to do…so after a halfhearted argument about if I should do so, they demanded I go. I stopped and got you one of those coffees you like," he said as he handed her the cup. "I figured you'd need it by now."
"I do, thank you," she replied before taking a sip of the vanilla flavored coffee. "So all of your buddies voted to kick you out and send you off to your wife?"
"Sure did."
"You must've been very distracted."
"Yeah, I guess I was," he admitted. "I was also annoying people with the tapping of my pen."
Johanna smiled and bumped his shoulder with hers as he perched beside her on the edge of the desk. "You know that pen tapping habit has never bothered me."
"Really?"
She nodded. "It's just a part of you at times when you're deep in thought. It's never bothered me…taking my candle off the candle warmer and putting your coffee cup on it bothers me but not the pen tapping."
He gave a soft laugh and brushed a kiss against her cheek. "I'll try to reform since you give me a pass on my pen tapping."
She laughed with him before turning serious once more as her hand curled over his. "I've been trying to convince myself to get up and go to my office ever since I dismissed the kids and I haven't gotten there yet…as you can see."
"That's alright…it was a shorter walk finding you here," her husband replied. "Besides, you don't need to go to your office now anyway."
"True…and I'm glad. I just…do not want to be here today…and that sounds terrible because overall I like my job but…"
Jim shook his head. "It's not terrible, it's just being human…and I didn't want to be at my job either. We have too much on our minds today."
Johanna breathed deeply as she squeezed his hand. "Our minds have been full all weekend."
"I know…are you ready to go home, try to take a nap?"
She scoffed. "I'd love a nap but we both know it wouldn't happen."
"Then how about we go out for lunch?" he asked. "Maybe it'll relax us a little."
Johanna squeezed his hand and nodded. "Lunch is a good idea."
"Fancy lunch or low-key lunch?" Jim asked.
"I'm thinking we need comfort food type of lunch…so you know, milkshakes, fries, that sort of thing."
Jim nodded. "That's what I was hoping for honestly."
"Then that's what we're going to have…as soon as I can convince myself to get up."
He laughed and rose from his place beside her, tugging her up with him. "Come on, sweetheart; let's go get lunch and then play things by ear while we wait to hear from Katie."
"Just let me get my things together," she told him as she rounded her desk. Maybe a lunch date and a little roaming around the city would ease the nervous tension in both of their bodies.
Their low-key lunch date had turned into picking up fast food and then driving to the park and eating in the car but he didn't mind. Neither one of them were feeling up to crowds…or the risk of running into people they knew and having to pretend that nothing was bothering them. It had been a decision made quietly while they waited in line, Johanna's fingers curling into his coat sleeve and murmuring "Let's get it to go," as she had surveyed the busy restaurant. He had suggested eating in the car at the park so they could have a nice view and she had agreed. Now they were here, parked in a quiet spot with a nice view of the fall foliage as music played on her phone. It was peaceful…and the lack of outside interference allowed him to pick up on his wife's usual tactics when it came to soothing herself although he had never quite understood some of her comfort seeking habits.
"You know, I've never quite figured out what it is with you and listening to country music when you're in turmoil…or ironing," Jim remarked after taking a sip of his soda.
Johanna picked a few fries out of her carton. "It's really not hard to figure out…I'm turning into my mother. That happens when your daughter's pregnancy test comes back positive."
Jim scoffed lightly. "I think that happened long before that."
She gave him a side eyed glare. "Shades of your mother peek out in you every once in awhile so you better mind your manners, buddy boy."
He laughed. "And we're back to you not being your mother."
She gave a small shake of her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "You know I've always loved country music though…because of Mama. She always listened to country music while she ironed…when she needed comfort…and just because she liked it."
"I know," he murmured as the song changed on her phone, the opening notes of The Judds River of Time sounding through the car. "Naomi must know we're talking about her…if I recall correctly, that was always one of her favorite songs."
Johanna nodded, her throat growing tight with emotion as the song began. "You don't know how many times I've listened to this song over the past fifteen years…how many times I still listen to it," she said softly. "Not because it was one of Mom's favorites…but because I've felt every word of this song…and I still do."
His hand found hers and curled around it, watching as her eyes closed, allowing the music to saturate her soul just as Naomi had always taught her to do. "You know, I remember that Naomi loved the Judds…you took her to their farewell concert when it passed through back in the early nineties. I also remember that she not only loved them for their music…she also loved that she shared a name with one of them."
Johanna smiled despite the tears in her eyes. "Yes…two beautiful, giving, music loving Naomis in this wild world, and for one night, they were in the same room together," she said softly.
He grew silent, knowing it was what she wanted…that she needed to lose herself for a few minutes in the song her mother had loved…the song that she felt deep her soul in relation to how her own life had gone awry. He waited patiently and then her voice joined the warm tones of the ones flowing through the speaker.
"We're all driven by the winds of change, seems like nothing ever stays the same. It's fate that guides me around the bend, life's forever beginning, beginning again…flow on, river of time, wash away the pain and heal my mind…"
He stayed quiet as the song finished, the last notes beginning to fade as he gently squeezed her fingers. "It is a fitting song for you, sweetheart," he said somewhat quietly. "And I hope that I've been correct in feeling that time has been healing…that it has washed away some of the pain."
Johanna gave a nod. "Yes, it has...it's always going to be there but it's not as bad as it used to be…but I know that that river of time they sing about…it'll keep flowing and it'll wash more of it away as I let go of more pieces of it…and embrace new things."
"Like our grandchild," he said, meeting her eye and giving her a small smile.
She returned his smile. "Yes…our grandbaby…I feel like I've pinned so much on one tiny little baby…but she is going to be our sunshine after the storm."
"You're not the only one pinning hopes on the baby," he told her. "I am too."
"Are you?"
Jim nodded. "You call her the sunshine after the storm and I think of her as a new beginning…a way of pushing us forward, making us change again. You know how there are moments in life where it's like this line is drawn between before and after?"
"Yes…1999 was one of those lines," Johanna said softly.
Jim nodded. "Yeah, it was…and then there was another line thirteen years later when you came home…and now, with this baby, it'll be another line…and it's a line we need, sweetheart. We're due for a new chapter; because we're ready for this 'after' to become a 'before' and move on to better things…not that I'm not saying there hasn't been good in these years, there has been…all of it has been good for me just because you're with me again, but…"
"I know what you mean," she replied, her fingers curling around his. "There's the good of us being back together…but we still went through a lot…with us, with Katie, with life in general. Healing has been a long process…and I…well, when I think of this baby, I can't help but think that there will finally be someone in the world who won't know what happened. That she can just know me for me and not what everyone else knows…and it sounds stupid, but I want that…I want my grandchild solely for the fact that it will be my grandchild that I already love…but I think about that, Jim…and I want it for that too."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Jo. I don't blame you for having that feeling or need…I'd feel the same way…in some ways I do…maybe that's why I see it as a new chapter; because with this baby, things can change again and we can leave more of the bad things of the past behind. So don't feel bad for thinking those things; maybe it's just something you need and I don't judge you for it anymore than you'll judge me for thinking it's a good way to make us move forward to a new part of life."
"No, I don't judge you for that…I want to go with you to that new chapter."
He smiled. "Believe me, I'm not going without you."
A hint of amusement lit up her eyes. "Because you want me to change the diapers."
Jim laughed. "Hey, I've changed diapers…it's just that you're better at it."
"Mhmm, sounds like excuses to me," she teased.
He caught hold of her chin and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "You're going with me because I have to a beautiful woman by my side who will feign interest in a grandfather."
She laughed. "Now when have I ever had to feign interest in you, honey? I've always been incredibly interested in you…now you on the other hand, getting you to show some interest was a bit of a chore early on."
"Lies," he stated. "I was extremely interested…I just didn't want you to think I was too interested. You might've thought I was a creep or something."
"Never."
Silence fell between them as she put her empty food wrappers back in the bag and settled back against the seat, watching as the light wind ruffled the deep red leaves on the trees.
"You want to go for a walk while we're here?" Jim asked. "I know it's a little chilly but we don't have to go too far."
Johanna nodded. "A walk will be nice…we could probably use some fresh air even if it has a little chill in it."
"My thoughts exactly," he said as he took the keys out of the ignition and put them in his pocket while she turned off the music on her phone. "A nice walk and then we'll head home and finish our waiting there."
"I should've gotten my hair cut this weekend," Johanna remarked, breaking the silence between them as she pushed a stray strand behind her ear. a short while later as they walked down one of the park's paths.
"You don't need your hair cut," Jim replied gruffly.
"It's been awhile since I've had it cut…it's growing out."
"I like your hair long."
"I don't like it long anymore…I like it the way I've been keeping it for years now. I like having layers and keeping the length at my shoulders. It's getting past my shoulder now."
Jim shook his head. "It's fine the way it is."
"No, I need to get it cut…I should've gone yesterday and got it done. I guess I could go tomorrow…if you don't like the way I usually get it done I can try something else."
"Leave your damn hair alone!" her husband exclaimed. "That's one thing I've never been able to figure out about women; why do you have to cut your damn hair when something is going on in your life?"
Johanna shrugged. "It's not something that can be explained…it's just something we feel compelled to do."
"Yeah, well, I'm not going to allow you to be compelled while in emotional turmoil at the moment so you're going to keep it like it is for now. Of course I don't think you need to do anything to it at any time…but you always disagree."
She gave him a smile. "Well it is mine to do with what I want."
"I know…but you know how I feel…just like I know how you feel and so I shave every day."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Like you wouldn't anyway."
"Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't…but still…you know I've always liked your hair long."
"Yes, I know…I didn't realize I was going to upset you so much that first time I cut it back before we were dating."
"I wasn't upset…I was just surprised."
"Seemed a bit upset to me…and if I remember correctly, you told me I should've just bought shoes or new underwear instead."
Jim shrugged as he gave her a wry grin. "Well, I was hoping maybe you'd want to show me the new underwear."
"We weren't even dating then."
"Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about them though," he laughed. "Because I was…and you know it…and you were thinking about it too."
"I can't really deny that…and yet it took you so long to come around."
"All that matters is that I did in the end," he said, raising her hand and pressing a kiss to it.
"That's true. There was only one time when you approved of me cutting my hair," Johanna remarked.
Jim nodded. "The summer we were engaged…that killer was going around preying on women with long dark hair. I couldn't stand to let you out of my sight…and I didn't too often."
"I was scared too," she admitted. "I tried not to be but I was…especially when my father started calling to see if I got home from work…and accompanying my mother and I on wedding planning outings."
"I know...he was worried about you…and Naomi and Colleen. Frank was keeping a close watch on all of you that summer but especially you because of your hair being dark. I know you didn't want to cut it that time…but you're right, that was the one time I was glad you did."
Johanna squeezed his hand. "I didn't want to cut it with the wedding being close but I did feel better once I did…and as the hairdresser promised, even though it was shorter, I was still able to put it up for our wedding…and I was really glad they caught the bastard before our wedding."
"Me too."
"We need to do our Thanksgiving shopping soon," she said, needing to keep the conversation going as she felt doubts creeping up on her.
"We'll get to it this week," he assured. "I guess Katie's going to be work for her birthday now."
"Yeah, I ordered her flowers."
"You could probably get away with buying her a gift this time around," Jim remarked.
She shook her head. "I'm not going to rock the boat again…I've got too much to lose to risk it on asking her to accept a birthday gift."
He knew better than to argue when her mind seemed to be made up…and especially not when she was worried and tired. "Alright, sweetheart."
"It's not that I wouldn't like to buy her something," his wife stated.
"I know…it's just how things are ever since she made up those stupid rules."
"I follow the rules to keep the peace," Johanna reminded him. "Especially now…like I said, I have too much to lose."
"I think it would be harder for her to let a gift get in the way now," Jim said cautiously. "But I understand why you're not willing to risk it just yet."
"I just can't," she murmurs. "Maybe one day…if things stay the way they are now or get better."
"I don't think you have to worry about any backsliding," he assured her. "Things are different now."
"Yeah…but they haven't been different for all that long."
Jim chose his words carefully. "When we came back from London, you didn't call her…she came looking for you on her own and she hasn't back peddled since. You two started over with a clean slate again and you've been doing well…and now, with this baby on the way, she hasn't hesitated to reach for you when she needs her mother's comfort or advice. It's not going to change now."
She took a deep breath; worries and doubts filling her mind. "I hope not."
"It won't," he said with conviction. "You and Katie are going to be fine and the baby is going to be fine…and the three of you together will probably be a force to be reckoned with."
Johanna smiled a little, her fingers squeezing his as she hoped that he was right.
Silence fell between them as they continued down the deserted path, ignoring the sting of cool air against their cheeks.
"What if everything isn't alright?" Johanna asked quietly. "We keep saying it will be but what if it isn't?"
Jim breathed deeply; it was a question that was weighing heavily on his mind as well. Usually she was the one to give an answer for the hard questions but today it looked like it was going to have to be him. He squeezed her hand gently, his gaze on the crinkled leaves that littered the pavement for a moment before he glanced at her. "If it isn't…we'll grieve. We'll grieve in a way we never grieved before…and we'll be there for Katie as much as we can be or as much as she allows. We'll hurt for a long time…we'll wonder a million what ifs…and we'll pray that the next time will turn out differently."
Tears welled in her eyes and she struggled to hold them back. "I'll always feel like it was partly my fault. I brought up how staying in the field longer could be dangerous. I put it out there like a bad omen," she rambled. "I should've never said it…I shouldn't have said anything that day. I put it out there. Maybe I am bad for her…maybe I do bring bad things to her life."
"No," Jim said forcefully as he turned and grabbed hold of her arms and shook her a little as a spark of anger flared within him. "You just stop that, Johanna. Do you hear me? You stop. You didn't do this. You don't bring bad things to her life."
"How can you say that?" she cried. "I can think of thirteen years of bad things. I'm the reason she has a bullet shaped scar over her heart. I'm the reason she was in a car accident. I'm the reason her apartment was shot up. I'm the reason she got hurt during an undercover mission. I bring up how her job can be a danger to her pregnancy and days later she gets hurt on the job! Don't you see the pattern? It's just like Rick said at the hospital that last time she got hurt. Everything bad in her life is because of me. I put the words out there and it happened…and it'll be more blood on my hands…another life I…"
"No!" Jim interrupted angrily, shaking her once more. "I told you to stop it! You are not the cause of bad things in her life! You didn't start that trouble long ago, Bracken did. You didn't tell Katie to chase it. She made that decision. You were just as much a target during that shooting incident at her apartment as she was. You were both targets that whole summer. Let's not forget that you have a scar on your arm from a bullet inflicted flesh wound before you even moved in with her…and that wound probably would've been worse if your heel hadn't caught on the crack in the sidewalk and made you twist toward me. As for what Rick said that time at the hospital, he had no business saying it…especially when he was the one that encouraged her to reopen your case. We've been over all of that for the last two years and you had finally put it to rest…leave it there. As for what you said to Katie…it's a coincidence, Johanna. That's all it is…you and Katie had a conversation and you made a valid point. The fact that she had an accident a few days later is a coincidence, nothing more. I love you more than anything in this world, but this is one of those occasions where you don't have the power that you think you do, Jo. You just don't have that power; so if things aren't alright…it's not your fault. It's not Katie's fault. It's nobody's fault but the person who shoved her. Now we're not going to have anymore of this. You're going to get that idea out of your head, do you understand?"
"It's not that easy," she cried. "Every time I have things put away in that box…something comes along and unearths it and makes me think that maybe I'm not…"
"You're not bad for her," he said firmly. "You're her mother, you love her with everything you have and she knows it…that's why she's been calling you at all hours of the day and night this weekend…because you're her mother and you make things better…because she needs you and loves you."
Johanna took a shuddering breath as tears continued to spill down her cheeks. "I don't want to be this way…I don't like being this way. I thought I was better."
His anger softened, his hands sliding down her arms gently. "You're tired, sweetheart," he murmured while wiping tears from her cheeks. "You're just tired. You've been doing everything you can do for Katie…keeping that brave front up for her so she can't see how worried you really are. That's when you get like this, Jo; when you're exhausted and worried and trying to keep everything together for everyone but yourself…and that's okay. You're just being a mother…and I'm just being the man who loves you and hates to see you beat yourself up for things that were completely out of your control despite what you tell yourself."
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she met his eye.
Jim shook his head as he pulled her into his arms, enfolding her tightly. "No need to be sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry I got mad."
"It's okay," she told him. "I'm not angry with you."
He breathed deeply as he held her, listening to her sniffle as she tried to reign in her emotions. "I think we're failing at being the calm, cool, collected grandparents in waiting, babe," he told her.
She gave a soft huff of a laugh as she remained nestled against his chest. "Totally failing."
Jim brushed a kiss against her hair. "At least were failing in private though…that has to count for something, right?"
"I think so."
"It is going to be alright though," he remarked after a moment. "We no evidence to suggest that it won't be. Let's just go back to focusing on that."
Johanna took a deep breath and then pulled back from him a little so she could see his face. "We're just tired?"
He nodded. "Yes, we're incredibly tired, sweetheart. Tired, worried and anxious."
"So what are we going to do?" she asked as she swiped at her cheeks.
"Same thing we've been doing…we're going to wait for Katie to call and tell us that everything is fine…and then I'm going to make dinner for you."
Her brow rose. "You're making me dinner?"
"Yes…we're going to continue our comfort food theme. It's been awhile since I've made you a burger."
"A Beckett burger?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.
Jim grinned. "Of course, it's my specialty. I'm going to make you the very special custom-made Beckett Burger that I perfected for you over the course of our engagement."
"That sounds good…do we have everything we need for it?"
"We'll make a run to the store on the way home to be sure," Jim replied. "With your burger, you will be served fries…because I know that even though you had fries at lunch, you won't turn down a second helping."
"Never," she laughed.
"That's what I was counting on. We even have dessert since you were up baking a cake the night before last, so you see, I'm going to give you a well rounded comfort dinner experience."
Johanna smiled up at him. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Good…and after we eat, we're going to leave the dishes in the sink until tomorrow."
"I can wash the dishes."
"No, they'll get done tomorrow. We're going to take care of Scarlett and make sure the house is locked up…and then we're going upstairs and get settled for the night and I don't care how early it is. Tonight, we're going to get some sleep…and tomorrow, we're both staying home and taking some time to put ourselves back together."
"I thought you had to work tomorrow?" she murmured.
"I do…but I'm not. I'll let Jeff know this evening that I'm taking tomorrow off and he can pass the word. They'll understand. We've been dealing with this since Thursday night. I don't think anyone can blame us for taking a day for ourselves to get back to normal."
"We don't care if they do," she replied.
"That's right," Jim said as he checked his watch. "Let's head back to the car and make that trip to the store to pick up a few things. Maybe that will help the time go quicker and we'll hear from Katie soon."
Johanna griped his coat, keeping him from moving as she leaned close and caught his lips in a soft kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too," he replied.
"I'm sorry I fell apart."
"I think we both did a little… and it's okay. We always get put back together. It's going to be alright just like you've been telling Katie all weekend."
She nodded, her hand finding his. "Let's go. Maybe the wait will go faster at home."
As Kate waited in the examining room that afternoon, she thought that her nerves couldn't anymore on edge. She had been praying for time to move quickly so that she could get to her appointment and find out if the baby was fine…but now that it was upon her and she was in the room…she didn't mind waiting a little longer…because what if it was bad news? What if the worst possible scenario was going to come true and this was room she'd lose everything in? She felt her chest tighten, her breathing changing as panic washed over her.
"Kate," her husband murmured as he took her hand. "Don't go dark on me."
"I can't help it," she murmured as she forced herself to breathe normally. "What if it's…"
"No," he said cutting her off as he gripped her hand. "The baby's fine…we're not going to think anything else right now."
"But…"
"No buts," he told her. "Remember, your mother said it was fine and you said her word is law…so…you know, she has spoken and we can't possibly go against that."
Her worried gaze met his. "What if the baby doesn't respect her grandmother's law?"
Castle shook his head. "The baby wouldn't dare cross it's grandmother…I'm sure it knows that she intends to spoil it rotten so there's no way it's going to risk blowing all those gifts."
"That does sound like something a child of yours would think of," Kate replied
He grinned. "I know, right! And then we have to count in your stubbornness, because I'm sure the baby has your stubbornness in spades, so you know, there's no possible way that there's anything wrong here."
"What about your stubbornness?"
"Please," he scoffed. "It's not match for the Beckett genes…you all corner the market on stubbornness."
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying we're going to have a stubborn baby…a beautiful but stubborn baby."
"And it's going to be my fault?" she asked.
Castle nodded. "Yes…but since it's an inherited trait, we can back it up and blame it on your mother if that will make you feel better."
"Well I would hate to share the blame alone since my husband isn't going to take his share apparently."
"I will take my share of the blame for his good looks."
"What if it's a girl."
"I don't know, the baby's grandmother wants a girl so badly that it probably means the universe guarantees it's a boy so…."
"Or the universe is just letting you think that and it will be a girl," Kate replied. "Maybe the universe is just toying with you."
"Wouldn't be the first time…there was a brief period of time when I was sure that Alexis was a boy."
"Really?"
He nodded. "Yes; and Mother said I was wrong…and of course the universe had to prove her right, not that I minded. I was perfectly happy with a baby girl…and I will be again if that's what Jellybean turns out to be."
She smiled a little, squeezing his hand. "The only person who may take five minutes to adjust to a boy will be my mother," she quipped.
"She won't be alone…my mother has already bought a new feather boa for future tea parties, so…."
"Mine is already mentally arranging a nursery in my old room."
Castle smiled. "Please, she's probably already put up the crib."
Kate laughed, pure and unrestrained and it made his heart lighten. "I think Dad's probably held her off on that for the moment but I'm sure she's thinking about it."
He nodded. "She has already told me that when the baby is about six weeks old and we're deep into sleep deprivation, she'll be around to take her off our hands for the day."
"That probably means she's car seat shopping," Kate replied. "Martha has suggested that we buy a strolled that's no hassle to deal with…since apparently the one you had for Alexis was a pain and marred her walks with her grandchild."
"Our mothers have a lot of plans," Castle stated. "Rooms, strollers, babysitting…probably a list of names tucked somewhere in their purses, waiting just for the right moment to be pulled out and waved at us."
A smile tugged at her lips once more. "I have to admit…I'm kind of looking forward to seeing those lists just to see what they come up with…and how far it is from what we come up with…but then again, knowing you, I know your list will be the most outlandish."
He gave her an amused smirk. "Hey, don't count my mother out on outlandish names…she'll probably want us to name it after one of the characters she's played."
"You could be right…but she did give you a very standard, non-outlandish name."
"Surprises me too that she went the normal route," Castle replied. "Such a missed opportunity…must've been the painkillers they gave back then."
"I'm telling Martha that you said that."
"Go ahead, give her more material for the autobiography she says she's going to write in the near or not so near future."
Kate smiled and gave a soft shake of her head as silence fell between them, their fingers entwined with each others.
"Have you been thinking about names?" Castle asked.
She shrugged. "Once in awhile I ponder a name but nothing serious…I feel like it's probably too early to think about names."
"It's never too early to start contemplating it. Anything sticking in mind yet?"
"No, nothing I have my heart set on. There's a lot of names I don't want, like Emily because it's overused. I like Aubrey but I don't think it goes well with the name Castle. What about you, any names crossing your mind?"
"I still like Cosmo," he replied.
"No. Absolutely not. I will not subject a child of mine to a name like that."
"But it's cool."
"It's not; you'd be giving him a life of ridicule."
"Or the courage to be different," Castle replied.
"Cosmo Castle is not a good name, Rick."
"It could grow on you."
"It won't. Think up other suggestions for the future."
He nodded. "Alright, but I'm keeping that one on the back burner."
"It's going to simmer there forever, Castle."
"We'll see."
She said nothing, her worries sweeping over her once more. "I wish she'd hurry," she whispered. "I don't want to know if it's bad…but I also can't stand the waiting."
"There isn't going to be anything bad," he replied, despite the worry that lived deep in his gut that he was doing his best to keep under control. "We don't have any indication of there being any problems. It's going to be fine."
"I hope so," she murmured.
"It is, trust me," Castle said before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
The door opened before she could reply, the doctor sweeping in with a smile that Kate was sure was meant to comfort but it did little to ease her nerves as she went through the motions of answering the doctor's questions. She gripped Castle's hand as she was examined and then held her breath as the doctor prepared for the sonogram.
Her eyes closed as the doctor moved the probe over her stomach; her ears straining for the sound of the heartbeat to fill the room. Her nerves were taunt, tears stinging her eyelids until finally the soothing woosh of the baby's heartbeat sounded in the room. The tears broke free then as she allowed the sound to saturate her soul. "She's okay?" she murmured tearfully.
"Open your eyes and look at the screen," the doctor told her.
Kate opened her eyes and looked at the screen, seeing her baby wiggling around just as she had been a few days ago. "She's okay?" she repeated.
The doctor smiled as she nodded. "The baby is fine, although I can't tell you yet if it's a girl as you seem to think."
"I don't care which it is as long as it's fine," Kate replied. "I just want my baby to be okay."
"The baby's okay, Kate," her doctor assured. "The heartbeat is normal, there are no signs of distress or injury. Development is normal. Everything is fine. I know your fall scared you as it would anyone, but as I told you the other night, your vest gave the baby extra protection from the impact. Everything is fine. I still want you to stick to the orders I gave you though, no rushing back to work. Give yourself time to heal and relax."
Castle tore his eyes away from the baby on the screen. "So are we out of the woods for any fall related issues?"
"I believe we are," she answered. "It has been four days since the incident and there's no change in the baby. Now if you should have any pain or bleeding, go to the hospital and have me called but I don't foresee any issues stemming from this."
"You're sure?" Kate asked.
"As sure as I can be. Just try and relax, Kate. Stress isn't good for you and I know it's unavoidable, but I also know that you've probably been on edge all weekend and I don't blame you, I would be too…but now is the time for you to bring it back down, take some time for yourself to relax. Hopefully this will be the only scare you have over the course of your pregnancy."
"I hope so, I don't think I can take another one," Kate admitted.
"Can we have a copy of the sonogram?" Castle asked.
"Of course."
The doctor printed the sonogram and then answered any remaining questions before telling Kate that she would see her at her next appointment in a few weeks but that she could call if she needed to come back sooner.
After the doctor left them alone, Castle pulled her into his arms for a tight hug, allowing her to cry tears of relief for a few moments. "It's alright," he murmured. "The baby's fine and you're fine…we got through it."
"I still feel like a mess," she cried.
"I think we both are but it's okay…all that matters is that Jellybean is fine and probably enjoying all this fuss of her or him, whichever the case may be. Do you want to go out to an early dinner to celebrate?"
Kate shook her head. "I don't really feel up to going out, Rick. I just…I don't know, I just want to go home…but maybe tomorrow we could go do something. I'm just not together enough to go out today."
"I get that," he said with a nod. "It's fine. How about I take you home and get you settled and I'll run out and get us our usual from Remys and bring it home to you?"
"That sounds great…I want a strawberry milkshake."
"You got it; extra fries?"
"Yes, definitely extra fries."
"Alright; I'll take care of it," he replied. "You need to call your parents when you get home too…I'm sure they're just as on edge as we are today."
"I'm sure they are," she murmured. "I can't believe I forgot she had to work today and called her in the middle of the night."
"She didn't mind, Kate."
"I know but…"
"But nothing, you're her daughter, you mean more to her than the job or sleep and so does the baby and I'm sure she'll tell you that yourself."
Kate nodded, that was probably true but she still felt badly for it…but surely the good news that all was well would make up for it.
They were halfheartedly watching a movie when the phone finally rang late that afternoon, causing Johanna to jerk away from the comforting circle of Jim's arm; her hands frantically grabbing for her phone on the coffee table.
"Put it on speaker," Jim gently demanded as he too sat up straighter.
She nodded, hurrying to accept the call, as her husband scooted closer, his arm going around her once more, his hand curling around her waist. "Katie?" Johanna said, anxiety present in her voice and she hated that she hadn't been able to mask it but days of pushing it down had caused it bubble over and there was nothing she could do about it.
A soft intake of breath across the line made Johanna's heart squeeze, her fingers tightening around the phone. "The baby's fine," Kate finally answered; her voice tight with emotion.
Johanna released the breath she had been holding, sinking into Jim's side as she did so. "Everything is fine?" she repeated.
"Yes; heartrate was normal, no signs of distress or issues."
"Thank God," she murmured. "Did she do a sonogram?"
"Yes," Kate answered. "Everything was fine…the baby was wiggling around just like last time although I can't feel it yet."
"You will before long," Johanna assured. "What else did the doctor say?"
"She said that I should still stay home for the time she ordered me off just as a precaution…the standard if anything would change suddenly, go to the hospital line…although I admit I don't have much faith in them this week given how they treated me."
"I don't blame you for that," she remarked. "But there are other hospitals if need be…although I'm sure we won't need one."
"I hope not," Kate said softly.
"You won't. The baby's fine…just like we knew she would be, right?"
"Yes," Kate replied, tears leaking through her voice.
"Katie, are you sure everything is alright?" Jim asked, panicking a little at the sound of her tears.
"Yeah, Dad; everything is fine…I'm just a mess. I'm relieved but still scared in a small way and…just…a mess, for lack of better words."
"It's alright, Katie," he told her. "I'd say you've earned the right to feel like a mess. You'll feel better after a good night's sleep."
"Your father's right," Johanna stated. "Now that you know the baby is fine, you'll be able to sleep tonight and you'll feel better. Everything is okay with you too, right? The doctor said you were fine?"
"Yes; we're both fine."
"Good; I knew you would be but I like confirmation," Johanna told her. "Do you go back for a recheck?"
"With her, I don't go back until my next scheduled appointment in a few weeks. I'll have to go to my other doctor to be cleared of my injuries when it's time to go back to work."
"No rushing on that, Katie," Johanna said softly. "I know you get bored and frustrated, but no rushing this time, okay?"
"I wasn't planning on rushing, I promise," her daughter replied. "Too much at stake to rush just for the sake of not being bored.'
A small smile touched her lips. "See, you're thinking like a mother already."
"Too bad I didn't do it sooner," Kate murmured. "Then I wouldn't be in this situation."
"You don't know that, sweetheart…and dwelling on what ifs won't do you any good. What we have to do now is concentrate on the fact that you and the baby are fine and we'll all move forward from there."
Kate breathed deeply. "I probably drove you crazy all weekend."
"No, you haven't!" Johanna exclaimed. "Why would you think that?"
"Because I've been a basket case," her daughter answered tearfully. "I've probably called you a hundred times in the last few days."
"When have I ever minded you calling a lot?" Johanna asked.
"But I…."
"Answer the question," Johanna interrupted. "When have I ever minded you calling a lot?"
"Never," Kate murmured.
"Then why would I mind now?"
"I don't know," she cried. "I called you in the middle of the night last night…completely forgetting that you had to work this morning. I didn't even think of it until this morning when I went to text you and Castle mentioned that maybe I should wait so I wouldn't scare you while you were in class. I just…I didn't even think about it last night. I'm sorry."
"Katie; you don't need to be sorry. I told you to call if you needed me, I don't care about the time or where I am. If you need me you call."
"And if she wouldn't hear the phone, you can call me and I'll wake her up," Jim stated lightly.
"And he'll promptly go back to sleep after handing me the phone," Johanna added; "So don't worry about waking him up either; he rarely has trouble going back to sleep."
Kate laughed softly despite herself. "Does that mean he slept through me crying as a baby?"
"Sometimes," Johanna replied. "Others he was just pretending."
"Lies," Jim stated. "I wasn't pretending and I didn't always sleep through it…I always nudged you and told you she was crying."
"You were so helpful like that," his wife teased.
"Dad, are you saying you didn't get up with me through the night; you put it all on Mom?"
"Well…I guess in the early days you could say that," he admitted. "You made me nervous, Katie. It sounds stupid but it's true…and when you were crying…well…I was just afraid I'd do something wrong and break you…and then your mother would kill me. When you got a little older and I felt a little more confident, I did try to get up with you in the mornings so your mother could sleep a little longer."
"I really worried you that much?" Kate asked.
"Yes," Jim replied. "You terrified me…of course you never really stopped terrifying me…but later on the terror came from your bad taste in boyfriends, clothes and music…and that's just the teenage you…I haven't even gotten started on the terror of adult you."
"Shut up," she laughed, making Johanna smile in response. "Teenage me was great, you were the problem with your oldies station on the radio and glaring at my dates."
"Hey, some of your music is now on the oldies station, so let's not throw stones here," Jim retorted lightly.
"Don't you even say horrible things like that to me," Kate replied. "My music is not on the oldies station."
"The stuff from the eighties is…let's see, what was that song you liked when you were little…Girls Just Want to Have Fun?" Jim asked. "I heard that on the oldies station just the other day."
"Are you trying to depress me when I just went through a weekend of turmoil?" Kate asked.
"No, just trying to pay you back for some of the trauma I've suffered from you," Jim laughed.
"I don't know why Mom puts up with you," she said lightly.
"Because she can't resist me."
"Mom?"
"Yes, dear?" Johanna asked.
"Do me a favor and resist him later," Kate replied.
"Oh believe me, you don't have to worry about that," Johanna replied. "He doesn't have a shot at all later."
"I could change your mind," Jim told her.
She laughed. "No, you can't."
He gave her waist a gentle squeeze, letting her know that he had only been joking anyway but he had a feeling she knew that all ready. They had gone through too much in the last few days to want anything but the comfort of laying next to each other when they crawled into bed that night.
Kate took a breath on the other end of the line. "I feel like these last few days have taken so long…it felt like weeks instead of days."
"I know, baby," Johanna said softly. "But for the most part, it's over now. Are you home or are you still out?"
"I'm home; Castle dropped me off and then went to get us something to eat. I didn't feel like going…I'm tired," she admitted.
"I don't doubt that," Johanna replied, feeling her own weariness deep in her bones. "But tonight you'll be able to sleep knowing the baby is fine and that you still have some time off to relax and get yourself put back together. You eat a good dinner and then take a long shower and then you go to bed and let yourself rest, for your sake and the baby's."
"I will, I promise."
"And you call if you need me," she told her. "I don't care about the time or the reason. You just call, Katie. I'm never going to get upset about it…you know that."
"I know…but grandmothers need their rest too," Kate replied. "I know you're tired, I can hear it in your voice."
"Only because I took something for my headache; you know medicine makes me sleepy."
"Mom…."
"Don't worry, Katie," Jim stated. "I'll make sure your mother gets her rest. I'm even making dinner for her later."
"You're making dinner?"
"Yes."
"Are you making Beckett Burgers without me!?" Kate exclaimed.
Jim smiled. "Yes, but if it makes you feel any better, I've been making them since before you were born so I know how to do it without you."
"But still!" she declared. "If you had sent out notice, I would've came there."
"Sorry, Princess, next time I'll let you know and I'll make you an extra special Beckett Burger."
"With bacon?" she asked.
"Of course."
"Now I'm going to crave that, Dad. I hope you're happy."
He laughed. "Learn to live with torment, Princess; that way you'll be ready when the baby comes."
"You're so cruel," she said lightly. "I hope Mom smacks you."
"I'll take the matter under consideration, Katie," Johanna told her.
"You do that. I'll let you go though so you can eat and take your own advice and go to bed before your headache gets worse," Kate stated. "I love you both."
"We love you too, Katie," Johanna murmured. "And the baby."
"I know. I'll tell her," she promised.
"Please do. If you don't need me through the night, then call me tomorrow and let me know how you are."
"I will."
They said their goodbyes and Johanna ended the call, placing her phone back on the coffee table before scrubbing her hands over her face, the tears of relief coming rapidly. Jim pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's alright, sweetheart. They're both okay…everything is going to be fine just like we said it would be."
"I know," she nodded. "I just…."
"I know…like Katie said, it's been a long few days…and she's not the only one that's a mess, so are we. But it's okay, we'll be better tomorrow."
Johanna nodded as she did her best to reign in her emotions. "We'll be better tomorrow."
"Come on," he said, patting her hip. "Let's go make dinner and then get settled for the evening. I promised our daughter that you'd get your rest and I'm not about to break a promise to a hormonal pregnant woman who shares your gene pool."
She laughed, her fingers entwining with his. "That's probably a wise decision."
"I thought so too," Jim agreed as they made their way to the kitchen. With the knowledge that his grandchild was safe, maybe his stomach would unknot and he'd be able to relax too as they put themselves back together.
Jim sighed a little as he made his way down the hallway after his shower that evening. The hot water had eased the remaining tension in his muscles and the relief that came from knowing his daughter and grandchild were fine allowed him to feel just how tired he was from the anxiety of the last several days. He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking about how they had retreated upstairs much earlier than usual but it felt justified he thought to himself as he entered the bedroom. He smiled a little as his gaze landed upon his wife. Johanna was curled up on her side, sound asleep, glasses still perched on her nose and her book in her hand as the TV played in the background. Scarlett was curled up next to her and he shook his head a little as he moved to the bed and scooped her up, earning himself a perturbed meow as he did so.
"You know the rules, Scarlett," Jim said quietly as he carried her to the chair. "When you sleep in here, you sleep on the blanket in the chair or on the floor."
The cat meowed once more as he put her on her blanket. "You'll be fine," he told her.
Scarlett turned her back to him as she settled on her blanket and he laughed quietly before moving back to the bed. He carefully pulled Johanna's reading glasses off of her face and put them in the case on the nightstand and then he slowly slipped the book out of her hand and marked her page before putting it on the stand as well. Jim turned the light off on her nightstand and was about to move back to his own side of the bed when her phone chimed with a new text message. He wasn't one to poke into her phone without permission but he figured he better check just in case it was Katie.
The message wasn't from his daughter however, it was their son-in-law instead. "Tomorrow is Tuesday, are you coming to lunch?"
Jim hesitated for a moment and then decided to reply for his wife; knowing that they had already made their own plans and that she wouldn't be angry with him for doing so. "Jo's asleep, Rick; but no, she's not coming to lunch tomorrow."
"Why not?"
"Because she's tired and there's every indication that a migraine is headed her way unless the medicine she took tonight and some sleep heads it off for her, which I'm hoping it does. We had already decided that we'd take tomorrow for ourselves…you know, the past few days have been worrying for us too?"
"I know," Castle replied. "I was just hoping to get some normalcy back to help ease things."
"Not tomorrow," Jim wrote back. "Tomorrow is ours. Besides, you don't need to be running off to lunch. You need to stay home and take care of my daughter whether she wants you to or not. As you know, I'm not a big fan of this lunch thing anyway, I think you need to let the past where it is instead of dredging it up. After a long weekend of worry and anxiety, the last thing Johanna needs is having old wounds picked at. She's not coming. She's staying home tomorrow and relaxing, we both are. You should follow the same advice with your wife."
"Fair enough," his son-in-law replied. "I'll catch her next time. Have a good night."
"You too, give our love to Katie."
"She's asleep too but I'll tell her in the morning, you have my word."
Jim laid the phone down on the nightstand and then rounded the bed and got in on his side. He clicked off the lamp and moved closer to his wife, brushing a kiss against her lips before he turned his tired gaze towards the TV. Tomorrow they'd put themselves back together and they'd get back to normal.
A/N: Lunches will resume in the next chapter!