Gordon Gets It Right
Written by Michael White
Bill and Ben the tank engine twins are pranksters at heart, and Sodor's most mischievous pair of engines!
PEEP-PEEP!
"Morning, Ben!"
PEEP-PEEP!
Ben chuckled as he rolled up alongside his twin.
"Morning, Bill!"
Bill smirked as he looked across his twin.
"Let's get to work, shall we?"
Ben watched the grin on his face and smiled right back.
PEEP-PEEP!
"After you, Bill!"
He followed after his twin as they ventured down into the heart of the Clay Pits.
They love playing jokes on other engines, from Timothy at the Clay Pits…
Timothy hummed as he shunted a line of the trucks along his line when he heard a pair of familiar coming towards him.
PEEP-PEEP!
PEEP-PEEP!
"Look out, Timothy!" the twins called, advancing towards the points ahead of him.
Timothy gasped and wailed, reversing back when…
"Ah!" Marion screamed from behind, as she switched onto his line.
She swung her shovel around with fear as Timothy shut his eyes, opening them to the sight of Marion quickly recovered from the experience.
"Whoops," Bill muttered.
"Erm...gotcha, Timothy?" Ben stammered.
He chuckled nervously as Bill shot him a funny look from the front, and Timothy shot them both a look of dismay.
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…to Salty at Brendam Docks…
"Now there, Bill," the dockside diesel told the tank engine twin. "I truly appreciate the opportunity ye have taken to deliver those trucks of stone from Ffarquhar whilst I'm on me shift 'ere at the docks!"
"Any time, Salty," Bill smiled. "I'll be back in a jiff."
He whistled and reversed backward with his empty trucks, sniggering quietly as Ben rolled up the other way with a full load, both twins having had their nameplates taken off them.
PEEP-PEEP!
"Back, Salty!" Ben called.
"GAH!" Salty gasped, and looked to his side with surprise.
"Bill?!" he wondered. "B-b-but…I don't understand. Ye left only seconds ago…"
"I think you'll find I'm faster than you think, Salty…"
"Very funny, Ben," Cranky remarked. "I saw you two chuffing in and out from up here, and besides, those trucks are full of china clay, not stone!"
"Huh?" Salty wondered.
PEEP-PEEP!
"Oh, Cranky," Bill groaned, rolling up on the other side of the side of Salty.
"Spoilsport!" Ben remarked, looking glumly up at the crane.
Salty chuckled loudly, much to the twins' dismay.
"Ah, ye two and yer games! I might've known!"
Porter chuckled as he passed on by, Carly and Big Mickey chuckling as they went about their loads, and Cranky groaning as he turned around for his next load. Bill and Ben sighed and looked at each other with dismay.
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But one engine they enjoy playing tricks are on in particular is the biggest and proudest engine of all…
"Look, Ben!" Bill gasped, as they entered Knapford Station with a full load in sight of his siding just out the other side. "It's Gordon!"
"Ooh, we've got him now, Bill!" Ben giggled.
"Shhhh!" Bill hissed, then said quietly, "follow my lead!"
The twins creeped further through the station towards Gordon's siding, a long train of rubbish behind them. Gordon was snoring away in his siding, humming in thought, as the twins came up in their cheeky way.
PEEP-PEEP!
PEEP-PEEP!
Gordon awoke with a start.
"Woah!" he wailed with surprise.
"Wake up, Gordon!" the twins whistled rudely.
"The Fat Controller needs you to take this smelly rubbish train!" Bill remarked.
"Puh!" Gordon dreaded. "It can't be! Express engines shouldn't have to do such dirty jobs!"
"We're being serious!" Ben insisted. "He sent us a message at the Clay Pits!"
"O, the indignity!' Gordon groaned with chagrin.
HONK-HONK!
His mood suddenly as BoCo arrived with a train of China Clay trucks.
"Oh, BoCo," he sighed with relief. "Please, will you take the rubbish train instead? I must get ready for the express."
BoCo grinned and looked over the twins.
"Very funny, you two," he told them. "Now run along now and have those trucks delivered to Whiff's Waste Dump."
He then joked threateningly, "or shall I return these China Clay trucks I brought for you?"
The twins slowly scampered off, chuckling as they showed Gordon their train of smelly waste trucks. Gordon groaned and looked the other way with disgust.
"Those little demons!" he expressed to Boco. "They never stop at their silly games! However do you do it, BoCo?"
BoCo chuckled as he looked over at the big blue engine.
"I can always tell when the twins are joking," he assured him. "But I'm wise to their pranks; I know what jobs they like to do aside from playing pranks on other engines, and know how to keep them in line for that matter."
He honked and rolled off, as Gordon yawned and shut his eyes.
BoCo's words gave Gordon something to think about as he yawned and went back to sleep. But unfortunately, that didn't last very long…
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PFFFFF!
"Woah!" Gordon wailed, awaking with a start.
His fireman had started lighting his fire for his next train, as his driver walked up before him.
"Sorry to startle you, Gordon. But the express is due out soon, and we do need to get your fire going beforehand."
"Mmmm…" Gordon sighed grandly, shutting his eyes peacefully as his fire lit up.
Soon enough, Gordon's fire was burning nicely and he made his way to the express platform, as Philip worked to have his coaches ready.
POOP-POOP!
"Hurry up, Philip, and bring me my coaches!" he whistled impatiently.
Philip laughed, as he brought the coaches steadily into the platform.
"Why the rush there, Gordon?" he wondered.
"Those two silly engines could be back any time now from the Dump to collect their trucks," Gordon responded, then wondered dully, "I wouldn't want to fall for another one of their tricks AGAIN."
He waited as his passengers were all onboard and his guard's whistle blew, before setting off.
POOP-POOP!
"Express coming through!" he wailed.
He rushed on quickly past a very surprised Toby, and out onto the line ahead of him.
As Gordon made his way along a long stretch of the Main Line, he remained in much higher spirits as he observed the lovely scenery all round.
POOP-POOOOOP!
He whistled loudly to some birds as they flew over him, and rushed steadily along through the beautiful countryside. He rushed in through a tunnel and back out, whistling triumphantly as he continued forward, towards the Viaduct ahead of him.
POOP-POOP-POOOOOP!
Gordon thundered on over the Viaduct, the tracks rumbling from beneath him. Little did he and his crew know that seconds after he left, a stone began to fall from the Viaduct and drop into the river below…
SPLASH!
Gordon was making express time as usual, and so far everything on his journey ran like clockwork!
POOP-POOP!
"Express coming through!" he whistled loudly, as he exited Wellsworth Station.
Edward sighed as he watched the express thunder out from the platform nearby.
It wasn't long before Gordon came into sight of his own Hill.
Gordon looked anxiously at the slope ahead of him, and attempted to pick up speed.
"Steady now, Big G," he remarked. "Big hills aren't much for you to handle. I shall steam over it!"
Gordon gradually picked up speed as he charged at the Hill ahead of him. However, as he did so, he began losing steam halfway up and gradually came to a halt.
"NOOOOOO!" he wailed, as he came to a stop halfway up the hill, then groaned, "oh, botheration! Now, what do I do about the express?"
His driver and fireman phoned the station to send for Edward to come and give him a push, but unfortunately, he didn't come over soon enough…
PEEP-PEEP!
"Oh, dear," Thomas chuckled, as he passed over the Hill with Annie and Clarabel. "Stuck on your own hill again?"
"It wasn't my fault, Thomas!" Gordon snapped. "I tried to steam over, but there's something about this hill that holds an engine back so!"
Thomas chuckled as he continued on down the hill, and James made his way over the other side.
"Too bad, Gordon!" the red engine called out, as he passed, then joked, "perhaps a few trial runs and you'll finally make it!"
"Huh!" Gordon groaned.
PEEP-PEEP!
PEEP-PEEP!
At that moment, he heard a pair of whistles he knew frighteningly all too well.
"Oh, no," he groaned. "Not those two again!"
"Having a rest, are you, Gordon?" Ben cheekily wondered, looking at the grumbling passengers from inside his coaches. "I must say, I'm not sure if your passengers fancy it too much."
"Better be mindful, Gordon," Bill teased, grinning whilst raising an eyebrow at him. "Or else the Fat Controller may spare another big engine to pull the express."
"What nonsense!" Gordon spluttered. "You both might as well give up. I know you're only trying to trick me. Besides, who else would the Fat Controller ask to pull the express other than me?"
"Henry's pulled a couple times before," Bill suggested.
"Hmph!" Gordon huffed. "Henry's far too busy in Vicarstown with his own passengers to be bothered with a train like mine!"
"Murdoch might not," Bill cheekily replied. "He's only a goods engine after all."
"And he's mighty strong," Ben added. "Or maybe even…"
The twins gasped at the thought of a certain engine as they made their way over, smirking back up at Gordon
"Spencer!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Gordon wailed.
The twins chuckled long and loud, until they heard Edward's whistle. They gasped as the blue came into view, coughing and raising an eyebrow. The twins quickly scampered off, as Edward smiled and advanced towards the back of the express.
"Don't worry, Gordon," he assured him, as he started pushing him up. "They're only teasing. I'm sure you know the Fat Controller would never replace you."
"I know that all too well, Edward," Gordon dully agreed. "But you know those two and their jokes. They could easily get to anyone!"
"They could get to any engine who isn't used to them," Edward kindly corrected. "I know all about Bill and Ben and their tricks, and how often they play them more than not. The trick is to tell when they're joking."
"You're right, Edward!" Gordon agreed, thinking hard as he made his way to the top and over. "I'm wise to their pranks now, and I vow never to fall for another one of them again."
POOP-POOP!
"Express coming through!" he called out, as he thundered over the hill and down.
"Hmm…" Edward thought with surprise.
Gordon thundered on down the hill along through the line that would take him through Maron up ahead.
"Out of the way, little James!" he bellowed, as he passed the red engine.
James reacted by rolling his eyes around with surprise and glaring at him.
"Huh!" he sniffed, as he watched the express take off into the distance.
Harvey had brought workmen to inspect the Viaduct to assure its stability during their routine safety check; they immediately noticed rubble beginning to pour from its support.
"Oh, my," Harvey wondered, as he looked down at the supports below. "This doesn't look like a good sign."
"Not to worry," the foreman assured him. "We'll soon sort it out."
The foreman telephoned ahead to the Fat Controller to warn him about the Viaduct…
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RING-RING! RING-RING! RING-RING! RING-RING!
"Hello?! Hello?" the Fat Controller answered, as he immediately picked up the telephone, then listened back in surprise to the muffling from over the phone.
"Oh," he wondered, listening carefully and nodding his head. "I see, now."
"Yes, well, I'll see to the matter immediately. Thanks for the warning now. Bye-bye, now."
He immediately hung up the phone and rose up, slipping his coat on before heading out to the yard.
The Fat Controller gathered all his main line engines up in Knapford Yard for a meeting. He was pretty sure he had a plan in mind to assure that they were all safe when crossing over the Viaduct…
"Now, listen up, everyone!" he called to the big engines all across the yard. "The viaduct on the Main Line is currently under maintenance due to a brick having fallen off and rubble pouring out from the supports."
Henry, James, Emily and Rebecca all exchanged surprised glances with one another, as Murdoch expressed a look of annoyance.
"That means," the Fat Controller went on, "that I need you all to be let off steam when going over any stretch of track right before the Viaduct to assure that you slow down in time before crossing."
He paused impressively, then coughed quietly before looking across the yard to find that one particular main line engine wasn't present.
"I say," he wondered, "where is Gordon?"
Bill and Ben, from nearby, overheard this and thought real hard as they approached sight of the Yard.
"Perhaps he got stuck on his own hill again, sir!" Bill joked.
"Yeah!" Ben added. "That's where we saw him last!"
"Hmm," the Fat Controller pondered, looking at the twins hard in the eye.
"Very well then," he decided. "Bill and Ben, since you have no other job at the moment, I propose that you two stay here at the Station until Gordon gets back to warn him about the Viaduct."
"But…"
"But…"
The twins protested both at once, but the Fat Controller took no notice.
"As for the rest of you," he finished, "go back about your work, and be careful when crossing the Viaduct."
He watched as the main line engines whistled and all went back about their work, before heading back to his office, leaving Bill and Ben to idle about the station yard.
PEEP-PEEP!
PEEP-PEEP!
As the Fat Controller had instructed, the engines were all careful when approaching the Viaduct and remembered to slow down before crossing over, as the men gave them clearance to pass.
"Good to go, Henry!" one workmen called, allowing the green engine to cross over before looking over at Rebecca. "Come along, Rebecca."
Rebecca whistled long, loud and cheerfully as she crossed carefully over.
"Thanks, guys!" she called, before crossing over to the other side.
"Huh!" Murdoch grunted with irritation, as he waited for the workmen to give him clearance to go.
At long last, one workman raised his green flag and allowed him to carefully cross over.
Meanwhile, the twins were bickering back and forth about whose fault it was that they were left to wait in the station until Gordon got back…
"This is all your fault, Ben!" Bill snapped.
"My fault?!" Ben snapped back. "The joke was on you, Bill! I only played along with it!"
"Well, you should know that I'm best at managing things with the Fat Controller!" Bill argued back. "If you'd kept your mouth shut, we'd back at the Clay Pits by now!"
"Not true!"
"Yes, it is!"
"No, it's not!"
"Yes, it is!"
"No, it's not!"
"Yes, it is!"
"No, it's not!"
"Yes, it is!"
POOP-POOP!
The twins were caught off-guard by the sound of Gordon's whistle from the distance.
"Ooh, here he comes, Ben," Bill said quietly. "Perhaps you should let me deliver the message!"
"More than fair," Ben agreed. "Since you were the one who got us into this in the first place."
"Did not!" Bill argued, as he made his way toward the station.
"Did too!" Ben argued back, as he followed back.
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!"
"I didn't!"
"You did!"
"Oh, no. Not those two again!" Gordon groaned, listening to their voices approaching as his passengers got on and off.
The twins sidled up alongside the big blue engine and whistled loudly to get his attention.
"Erm…Gordon…" Bill began, coughing so as to grab his attention.
"What do you two want?" Gordon spluttered. "I don't have time for your games!"
Ben gulped.
"Well, you see, Gordon…"
"Shush, Ben!" Bill hissed. "I'll handle this!"
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath.
"The Viaduct on the Main Line is under repairs, Gordon," he explained. "The Fat Controller has asked us to stay back and warn you in case you got back. You must slow down before it."
"Slow down?" Gordon spluttered. "What nonsense! I'm sure the Fat Controller would have delivered the message if that were so."
"B-b-but…" Bill stammered.
"He…" Ben attempted.
"I'm wise to your pranks!" Gordon assured them. "Express engines like me slow down for nothing, unless it comes to entering a very important station."
At that moment, his guard's whistle blew, and he was ready to go.
"Express coming through!" he bellowed.
He thundered steadily out of the station, much to the twins' surprise.
"Well, that was nicely handled, Bill!" Ben quickly remarked.
"Oh, don't act like you could have done any better yourself!" Bill snapped back.
"Maybe if you'd at least let me try, it might have worked!"
"No, it wouldn't have!"
"Yes, it would have!"
"It wouldn't!"
"It would!"
At last, their drivers walked before them, and Bill's driver raised a hand so as to quiet them down.
"Stop quarelling, you two!" he cut off. "It's not helping anything!"
"It's best we warn the nearest signalbox!" Ben's driver suggested. "Gordon could be heading toward that Viaduct any time now."
"If he isn't warned in time, he may not slow down in time," Bill's driver supposed.
The twins gasped in horror at such a thought, as their drivers hopped aboard their cabs. They whistled loudly and raced out of the station.
The twins were able to reach the nearest signalbox just outside Knapford Station, and their drivers explained everything to the signalman.
"You must phone ahead to the signalbox before the Viaduct," said Bill's driver. "Otherwise Gordon will never slow down in time."
"Affirmative," the signalman answered. "I'll see to it immediately."
He ran back inside the signalbox, as the drivers ran back down and hopped aboard the twins' cab.
"Phew!" Bill sighed with relief.
"Let's hope Gordon slows down in time," Ben hoped, as the twins reversed back to the station.
The signalman at Knapford phoned ahead to the signalbox nearest to the Viaduct. However, the signalman there didn't get the call in time.
RING-RING! RING-RING!
"Hello?" the signalman answered.
He listened to the muffle over the phone, than nearly fell back in surprise.
"Goodness!" he remarked. "The express might be coming down the line any minute. I must warn Gordon before he reaches the Viaduct."
POOP-POOP!
He listened in surprise to the sound of Gordon's whistle, then watched as the express engine raced on past the signalbox.
"Oh, no!" he cried. "I'm too late!"
Gordon thundered on past the signalbox and rumbled forwards towards the Viaduct at full speed, unaware of the danger ahead…
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Up ahead at the Viaduct, men shouted and waved as Caitlan carefully made her way across with her passengers, while Emily waited patiently for her clearance to pass. She sighed anxiously as she watched the men chatter and walk about, then suddenly heard a familiar whistle from just up the line.
POOP-POOOOOP!
"Gordon!" she gasped, then listened to the sound of his pistons chuffing and looked over at the workmen.
"It sounds like he's rushing along at full speed!" she warned. "We might have to flag him down in case of a potential accident."
"I'm on it!" a man shouted from on guard.
He quickly ran up the line, waving his red flag high enough for Gordon to see from a distance, as Emily watched with surprise.
Gordon was just coming in sight of the Viaduct when he saw the man on guard wave his red flag from beside the line!
"Stop, Gordon! Stop!"
"Oh, what is it now?" Gordon huffed, rather bewildered. "What could possibly be holding up the express?"
"We'll just have to find out, Gordon," his driver replied.
He gradually let off steam as Gordon passed the man on guard, rather surprised as he stopped right before the bridge.
"This is ridiculous!" Gordon spluttered, fuming as he let off steam, then wondered to a nearby Emily, "the express waits for nothing! What could possibly be keeping it from moving forward?"
"There's been rubble leaking out from the Viaduct's supports, Gordon," Emily explained to him. "The men have been working it all morning to assure its stability and letting engines pass over slowly and carefully."
Gordon thought carefully about this, as Emily went on.
"The Fat Controller has warned all main line engines to take it steady when crossing over. Didn't Bill and Ben warn you like the Fat Controller asked them to?"
Gordon was rather embarrassed, as he understood now that the twins were being serious after all.
"O, the indignity," he groaned, much to Emily's surprise.
Gordon waited as the men had insured the Viadcut's stability before allowing him and Emily to pass over slowly and carefully.
POOP-POOP!
PEEP-PEEP!
As soon as he crossed slowly and carefully over the bridge, Gordon thundered along once more at high speed.
"Express coming through!"
Later after his express run to Vicarstown, Gordon returned to Knapford Station, where he met the twins again.
POOP-POOP!
"Ooh, Gordon!" Ben whistled, and followed after Bill as Gordon glided into the station.
Gordon looked rather ashamedly at the twins as they pulled alongside him.
"Oh, Bill. Ben. Well, I guess you were right about the Viaduct. Anyway, what I wanted to say was…"
"No, Gordon," Bill cut off. "We're sorry."
"What?!" Gordon spluttered, rather surprised. "But…but…"
"If we hadn't been cheeky to you earlier, you probably would have taken us more seriously about the Viaduct," Bill went on.
"Yeah," Ben added, thinking hard. "It would have given you a good reason not to believe us, as we have played jokes on you before."
"Yes," Gordon sighed in agreement, remembering all too well, but thinking hard nevertheless.
"Nevertheless," he pointed out, "my crew and passengers would have suffered an even worser fate than me falling for one of your pranks had I not been warned in time."
"Oh, that's alright," Ben assured him. "Bill and I thought about it real hard, and we've agreed to no longer play tricks on other engines."
"Oh," Gordon wondered, rather surprised by such a promise.
"That is," Bill thought, rather jokingly, "at least until the next opportunity comes along…"
The trio shared a good laugh, as did BoCo, who managed a slight chuckle as he backed down between them.
Gordon smiled at the three engines as his guard's whistle blew.
"Well, I'd best off," he told them, rather importantly. "The express waits for no engine!"
POOP-POOP!
The twins watched in amazement as he thundered out of the station, before whistling loudly and making their way along towards the Clay Pits themselves.
On the way back to the Clay Pits, the twins thought hard about the day's experiences.
"Well, Ben," Bill wondered to his twin from alongside him, "we sure almost caused Gordon a lot of trouble today, haven't we?"
"I know," Ben agreed. "I'm sure that if we hadn't been cheeky to him earlier, he probably would have listened to us."
"Perhaps it's best we avoid playing tricks on other engines after all," Bill suggested.
"Agreed," Ben replied. "No one else will take us seriously if we do."
"How about we vow never to pull a single prank ever again?"
"Agreed," said Ben, rather wearily.
Bill and Ben were sure that their minds were made up about their decision. But unfortunately, that decision didn't last very long…
"Blast it!" George the steamroller spluttered, from down the line, smoke billowing out from his sides. "I've blown a gasket again!"
The twins couldn't help themselves as they looked at over at him.
"Ooh," Bill gazed, rather cheekily. "Look who it is, Ben. That doesn't look very useful, does it?"
"Not at at all," Ben added. "One may assume that he's good use for scrap now."
The twins shared a good laugh, as George's face with fury.
"GrrrrrrrrAHHHHHHHH!" he spluttered out with fury, as the twins carried further on towards home.
I Do Not Like Them, Peter Sam!(inspired by Green Eggs And Hamby Dr. Suess) - Peter Sam tries to get Sir Handel to be kinder to the coaches, but he insists that they are out to get him and refuses to take any of Peter Sam's advice on how to be kind to them.
Snow Problem For Daisy (based on Snow Problem by Christopher Awdry)- when a snowfall on the Other Railway delays Daisy's return journey, she lands herself in deep trouble getting caught in a blizzard
Driving Home For Christmas - The Fat Controller strives hard through bad weather to make it home in time for Christmas Eve but encounters several obstacles along the way, as his family waits eagerly for his return!
Murdoch And The Kipper - when it is Murdoch's turn to take the Kipper, Henry's tall tales leave him unconvinced that he'll have an accident as well, but finds that sometimes things can happen when you least expect them to.
And coming this Spring...Thomas & Friends in Ready! Set! Rescue!
Amber Rushes In - a new ambulance van named Amber arrives as part of the Search and Rescue Team to transport injured people to the hospital in emergencies. However, Amber is so eager to rush into an emergency that she often forgets where she is needed.
Gator's Discovery - while delivering some rock salt along Duck's Branch Line, Gator comes across Bulstrode the Barge washed up by the shore and enlists Percy's help to make him good as new.
No Bother For Butch - Butch spends all day tending to other engines and vehicles in a state of emergency, that he doesn't think to take notice of the problem with his own engine, dismissing others' warnings. Instead, he puts his friends entirely before himself, which eventually leads to his own emergency!
Amber's Castle Conundrum - a pair of rock climbers are injured at Callan Castle, so the Rescue team are called into action, though Amber takes a wrong turn and ends up at Ulfstead instead!
Trevor And Flynn - Trevor often tries to find a way to help Flynn with fighting fires when he passes by despite Flynn clearly thinking the old traction engine has little use in a situation like that; however, when Belle derails on the way to a fire, Flynn may end up needing Trevor's help after all when he starts to run out of water.
Captain's Call To Action - Captain discovers a muddy stretch of stream and reports it to the Search and Rescue Team, prompting the workmen to take precautions and keep the area off limits. However, when Bulstrode attempts a shortcut back to Norramby and gets stuck, Captain jumps into action and saves him.