All Bark, No Bite
Written by Michael White
Splatter and Dodge are both simple-minded, awkward and often tend to banter…
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
At the Dieselworks sheds, Splatter groaned over having to hear Dodge snoring.
"Ermm…Dodge?" he insisted quietly.
But Dodge didn't hear Splatter as he was busy snoring.
"Dodge!" Splatter said again, a little more demanding this time.
But there was still no reply. Paxton opened a sleepy eye from beside him.
"Dodge!"
The green diesel woke with a start.
"Huhhhh? Huh? What?"
"You're doing it again!" Splatter reminded.
"Doing what?" Dodge yawned.
"Snoring!"
"Oh," Dodge thought, then sighed heavily. "Well, I can't help it!"
"Sure you can! At least try!"
"Can't do!" Dodge argued, as other diesels around the shed opened a sleepy eye. "Engines snore! It's a common thing, Splatter!"
"Huh! Well, you can try and control it!" Splatter awkwardly suggested.
"Yeah?! Well, you can try and control how much you talk!"
Splatter snorted.
"Why are you always having to put it back on me?!"
"I'm not putting anything back on you! Just sayin'!"
"Sayin' what?"
"You know?"
"No, I don't!"
"I'm sure you do!"
"I don't!"
The other diesels listened to their banter back and forth with exasperation.
"That's the third time this week!" Den groaned.
"My axles are aching!" Norman complained.
"Oh, my!" Paxton expressed worriedly.
"What's happened?" Sidney yawned.
"It's those silly pair of diesels again!" Diesel expressed with annoyance. "Never ends with them, does it?"
Splatter is the more talkative of the pair while Dodge is the one slightly more intelligent. One day, the pair were hauling a load of fuel drums from the Depot to take to Ffarquhar.
"…and then there was that time when we left those stone trucks in that siding instead of on the points like the boss had instructed!" Splatter chatted. "Boy, I don't think he was too happy with us for that!"
Dodge sighed heavily from the back of the train.
"Ehhh, Splatter, where exactedlyare we headed?"
"Why, to the quarry, of course! Isn't that where we're supposed to drop off these fuel drums?"
"Hmm…" Dodge thought, "I slightly recall the boss telling us to…"
"'ey, 'ey!" Splatter went on unnoticingly, "how 'bout the time when he got stuck in that avalanchy that came down?"
Dodge sniggered.
"Good one, that one!" he admitted.
"I think we're there!" Splatter announced.
He came to a stop just in the middle of the quarry.
"Oh, really?"
"Hmmm…" Splatter thought, "are you sure we came to the right place, Dodge?"
"I don't know," Dodge sarcastically wondered. "Does this look like headquarters to you?"
Splatter took a look all around them. Everywhere he looked, he saw nothing but rocks!
"Hmmmm…if the foreman's instructions from back at the Depot were correct, we were told to bring the fuel drums here! But I admit, it does look different from back at the Dieselworks!"
"Well maybe if you had listened to me and not been chatting the whole way, you would have remembered that the boss…"
The pair were caught off-guard by the sound of Mavis' horn.
"Welcome, you two!" she greeted. "You brought those fuel drums just to the right place! Thank you! Now, 'Arry, Bert and I can refuel!"
"Oh, well, erm…" Dodge thought confusedly.
"With pleasure!" Splatter replied smugly, as Dodge shot him a funny look.
After their flatbeds were unloaded, Splatter and Dodge were on their way again.
"See, Dodge?" Splatter insisted. "I told you I'd lead us to the right place!"
"You misunderstand, Splatter! I don't think the boss will be very happy with us for not fulfillering his task!"
Splatter raised an eyebrow from the front.
"You know," he awkwardly suggested. "You never acknowledge a simple thing I do or say!"
"Huh! Well, maybe if you listened to me instead of constantly running your mouth, it'd be easier for us to appease the boss!"
Splatter sighed exasperatedly as they pressed forward.
One morning, Splatter was busy chatting up Paxton and Sidney.
"…and then there was a time me and Dodge got held up by that long goods train at Bridlingaton!" he began.
"Ooooh," Sidney marveled, listening on.
"This should be good!" Paxton admitted.
"Here we go again…" Dodge murmured.
"It was legend!" Splatter began, "we stopped at a green signal by accident…"
"You did!"
"…and I didn't know till too late 'cause I was too busy talking!"
Dodge groaned, as Paxton and Sidney giggled quietly while listening to the story.
"Next thing we know, we hear this loud whistle and this long train comes into sight of our track."
Paxton and Sidney reacted with awe.
"It was at a set of points!" Dodge reminded him.
"Oh," Splatter thought, then laughed. "Right, right, so anyway, it took us a little longer than expected, but at least we were able to finish the job on time!"
Dodge watched as the DieselWorks manager walked over.
"Erm, Splatter?"
Splatter cleared his throat.
"So anyways, it all comes to show that…"
"Ah, Splatter! Dodge!"
Splatter looked over with surprise as the manager stopped before them.
"Glad you're both here! I have a job I'd like you both to fulfill!"
"For us, sir?" Dodge wondered.
"What is it, sir?" Splatter added.
"I need you to take a load of rubbish from Crocks Scrapyard and take it to Whiff's Waste Dump."
"Much obliged!" Dodge replied, as he watched the manager walk off.
"Anywho," Splatter continued, "have I ever told you guys about the time…"
Dodge sighed heavily and honked his horn, starting off.
"Come, Splatter!" he probed.
"Oh," Splatter thought, caught off-guard.
He chuckled nervously.
"Great chat, fellas! Must be off! Talk to you 'gain later!"
The pair honked in reply.
"Bye now!" Paxton greeted.
"Thank you!" Sidney called.
The two were taken by surprise as a familiar figure rushed past, cackling quietly.
Diesel 10 followed snidely after his two hench-diesels with a plan hatched in mind!
Splatter and Dodge collected their trucks and made their way to the Scrapyard, unaware that their boss was on their trail.
"Say, Dodge," Splatter awkwardly began from the front. "Taking scrap, doesn't it remind you of the time the boss got covered in rubbish?"
"Mmmm…" Dodge halfheartedly replied.
"Grrrrrr!" Diesel 10 quietly growled from behind.
"He tried to mix up one train with another! It was another one of his failed plans if you recall…"
Diesel 10 grit his teeth and groaned quietly as he listened, immediately catching Dodge's attention.
"…but then again, don't all his plans fail miserably?!"
Diesel 10 growled a little louder this time and clenched his claw tight!
"Ehhh, Splatter?" Dodge meekly interrupted.
"What?"
"Do you hear something?"
"Nah, not at all! Follow my lead! We're just about there now!"
"Greetings!" an unfamiliar voice called to them.
"Huhhhh?"
"Who that?"
"Oof!" Diesel 10 winced, as his claw hit him across the head.
He stopped just ten inches away from the pair.
"Up here!"
The pair looked up to see Reg the Scrapyard Crane moving about to face them.
"Name's Reg! Come to fetch some lovely scrap, have you?"
"Ermmmm, actually, that's exactly what we're here for!" Splatter awkwardly admitted. "In factly, we're supposed to take it in these trucks! Manager's orders, apparentently! Very imporetent job though!"
"Oh, brother!" Dodge groaned exasperatedly.
"Sounds great!" Reg exclaimed, as he went about loading the first truck. "Well, I am glad that it's all going to good use! You see, nothing goes to waste here at the Scrapyard!"
"Erm, actuarily, it is!" Dodge admitted.
"Yeah, yeah, we're taking to the Dump!" Splatter added.
This prompted Diesel 10 to inch gradually forward towards the pair.
"That is where we're taking it, right, Dodge?" Splatter wondered, looking back.
At that moment, Diesel 10 stopped beside Dodge.
"Actually," he started, "it's not!"
"Boss?"
"What brings you here?!"
"Alright, you two! Listen up!" the Warship hastily began. "Now, there's been a slight change in the manager's instructions! He needs you to take these scrap trucks back to…"
Before he could finish, Reg began to noisily load the trucks full of scrap.
"Sorry, mate!" he called out. "Things can get a little noisy 'round here! But it won't be long!"
Diesel 10 grit his teeth and growled.
"Just have these scrap trucks back at the Dieselworks on the double!" he demanded to Dodge.
He scampered off, much to Dodge's surprise.
In no time at all, the trucks were all loaded with scrap and Splatter and Dodge were ready to go.
"There you go, mates!" Reg called out, "come again!"
"Say," Splatter wondered, "where did the boss go?"
"He was off in a jaff!" Dodge informed him. "But he did say that…"
"Well," Splatter went on, pulling the train away, "he sure caught us by surprise! Come on, Dodge. Let's get these waste trucks off to the Dump! I must emphatasize how essentual it is that we get this job done before the boss can give us another task!"
"Like bringing these trucks back to…"
"I recall doing these sorts of odd jobs on the Mainland all the time! It wasn't much, but it kept us in good working order!"
Dodge sighed heavily.
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
"Say, Dodge," Splatter chatted, as they pulled through the countryside, "isn't it nice to have a job working away from the boss for once?"
"I guess," Dodge dully replied.
"It's always nice to see him fudge up but for once, we finally get to do something meansomeful for once!"
"Yeah, great!"
Splatter raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, what kind of fumes have you taken on?"
"Hello, you two!" Whiff whistled, as they reached the Dump. "Welcome to the Waste Dump!"
"Errrr…!" the pair thought confusedly.
"Please," Whiff insisted, "do leave those trucks in that siding over there! Scruff will be along to collect them soon enough!"
A shunter uncoupled Dodge from the train and Splatter hurriedly did so.
"Funny looking place!" Splatter remarked.
"Ya think?" Dodge murmured.
"Even the boss don't keep headquarters in this much of a mess!"
The pair heard a cheery whistle and soon enough, Scruff came into sight and Splatter was uncoupled from the trucks.
"More scrap!" he remarked. "Ready for scrunching?!"
"Ehhhh, who are you?" Splatter asked awkwardly.
"I'm Scruff!I shunt trucks of rubbish here at the Dump and take it to be disposed!"
"Phew!" Splatter sniffed. "Well, I can see that!"
"Oh, brother!" Dodge groaned with embarrassment.
Splatter observed Scruff pulling the waste trucks about and giggled awkwardly as he backed down beside Dodge.
"Funny, scruffy-looking little engine, eh, Dodge?! Smelly too!"
Dodge raised an eyebrow at him but before he could answer, Paxton arrived.
"There you two are!" he honked with relief. "Phew! Better follow me! Diesel 10 would like to have a word with you!"
"Come on, Splatter!" Dodge demanded, starting off right away as his partner followed after them.
"Ya gotta admit, Dodge!" Splatter went on, grinning, "those two do seem like an odd pair!"
"Yes," Dodge wearily agreed. "They do!"
"I mean, they are what they smell like! Never before have I smelt a pair of engines so funny!"
Dodge sighed exasperatedly as his partner went on.
Back at the DieselWorks, the manager was speaking to Diesel 10!
"Now, Diesel 10, I have a very important meeting to attend to with the Vicarstown committee. So when Splatter and Dodge return, I would like you to instruct them to pick up some empty flatbeds from Vicarstown and take them to the Steelworks on the Mainland. They must be filled up with metal pipes to be taken to the Goods Yard at Bridlington!"
"Yes, sir!" Diesel 10 reluctantly obliged.
He watched him set off, then winced to himself.
"It's hard enough dealing with those two then it is keeping the DieselWorks in order!" he murmured amongst the other diesels.
He was suddenly cut off by Diesel's ranting.
"They go on and on all night long! And to make it all worse, the sheds are so creaky because manager won't hurry up with that new order of pipes!"
"Hmmm…pipes…" Diesel 10 thought to himself.
Diesel 10 had another in mind!
"Why don't one of us communicate the problem by telling manager himself?" Norman advised.
"Cool it!" Diesel 10 demanded, clenching his claw. "I have myself an idea!"
He heard Paxton's horn as he returned with the two hench-diesels.
"Ah, Splodge! You're back!" he grinned soothingly.
"Errrr, Splatter, actuarily!"
"Hush!" Dodge shushed. "Sorry we didn't fulfill the task, boss, but you see…"
"Never mind that!" the Warship engine went on. "I have another for you two that's far more important!"
"Oh, sure!" Splatter chuckled giddily.
"What is it, boss?" Dodge wondered.
"I need you both to collect pipes from that Steelworks over on the Mainland and bring it back here to rebuild our sheds!"
"Ummmm, if my memory can recall," Sidney pointed out, "didn't manager say that…?"
Diesel 10 aimed his claw at him and clenched it, causing the forgetful diesel to gulp.
"He did," he grinned, then turned his eyes back towards the two henchdiesels. "Now go!"
"Yes, boss!" they both obliged, and reversed away.
Diesel 10 sighed heavily with exasperation.
"It'll take a miracle to get through to those two!"
"Yes," Diesel huffily agreed. "But you know, they've been known to fudge things up before! You better follow them!"
"Hmm…" Diesel 10 thought hard, "yes…"
And he lurked away.
Diesel 10 followed quietly in pursuit of Splatter and Dodge, who were well on their way.
"I do suggest you listen to me this time, Splatter!" Dodge warned him. "We don't want to disappoint the boss again!"
"Don't worry, Dodge," the purple diesel smirked. "It's all under control!"
Dodge groaned.
The pair arrived at the yard at Vicarstown, where Rosie had their flatbeds ready for them.
"Here you are, you two!" she chirped, "all ready for you to take to the Steelworks!"
"Say, Dodge!" Splatter asked, "does this place sound anywhere familianar?"
Dodge shot him a funny look.
"Hmm…well they are to be taken to Bridlington afterwards," she puzzledly suggested.
"That's it!" Splatter chimed, convinced. "That's exactively where these flatbeds meant to be taken!"
"Ermmm, Splatter?"
"Come along, Dodge!" Splatter went on, buffering up to the flatbeds, "let's get going!"
"I highly suggest we talk this through!" Dodge insisted, as he buffered up to the brake van.
"Nonsense!" Splatter suggested, as they were both coupled up. "We'll have the job done in no time!"
Dodge seethed with slight annoyance as they got the flatbeds.
"What's up with you?" Splatter wondered, raising an eyebrow.
"Do you have to disgarade everything I say?!" he demanded.
"'Ey! I'm perfectly capapable of leading, Dodge!"
"Really? Then where did the boss tell us to deliver these pipes?!"
"For the sheds at Bridlington!" Splatter replied. "We've been there hundreds of times!"
"You're not very clever, are you?"
"No more clever than you!"
"Oh, yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"You sure?!"
"Certaintly!"
The two passed a waking Murdoch in a siding, who opened a sleepy eye and groaned at them.
"You're hopeless!"
"I'm hopeless? Who's the one at the back of the train?!"
Murdoch listened to their voices fade away before falling back asleep when…
"Rosie!"
He woke with a start again to listen to Diesel 10 race into the yard.
"Oh, hello, Diesel 10!" the station pilot greeted.
"Where are Splodge's whereabouts?!"
"Splodge?!"
Diesel 10 groaned.
"I haven't time to say both names!" he insisted. "Now tell me…!"
"Oh, you mean Splatter and Dodge!"
"Yes!" Diesel 10 sighed huffily.
"They left with the empty flatbeds I had ready for them to take to the SteelWorks! They're bringing them to Bridlington, to be exact!"
"Bridlington?!" Diesel 10 spluttered. "I need those steel pipes back at the…"
"Oi!" Murdoch cut off from the siding nearby, catching the Warship off-guard. "Quiet! Some engines are trying to get some sleep here!"
Diesel 10 grit his teeth and clenched his claw, before setting off, much to Rosie's bewilderment.
"Grouchy, that one!" she thought meekly.
She went back about her shunting, humming quietly.
"Hey, Splatter," Dodge suggested, as they neared the Vicarstown Bridge, "I think we should talk this over before crossing that bridge back to the Mainland!"
"Poppitycock!" Splatter argued. "I know exactitly where we going!"
"I higherly suggest we report back to the Dieselworks intermediately…"
His warning was cut off by the sound of a loud ship's horn crossing over the channel of the Vicarstown Bridge, prompting the pair to stop and wait for it to go before the beams were lowered again.
"We'll have these pipes taken to Bridlington in no time! I recolall exactitly where the Goods Yard is!"
Dodge sighed heavily, giving up, as they made it on their way across the bridge and over on the other side to the Mainland.
"Wait! Wait!" Diesel 10 shouted out.
He raced towards the bridge in an effort to make it across and raised his claw up when…
"Oof! Ouch!"
His claw ended up slamming down on his head and causing him to groan. He grit his teeth with his frustration.
"I'll catch up with those two rattletraps even if I have to…"
His rant was cut off by the sound of another ship's horn, catching him off-guard as it crossed over the channel. Diesel 10 groaned with dismay.
Splatter looked all around the countryside as the pair approached the Mainland Viaduct.
"Feels a little weird being back here, eh, Dodge?!"
"It does!" Dodge admitted. "Especially since we weren't supposed to be here in the first…"
"I mean," Splatter went on, taking no notice, as they crossed the Viaduct, "that hillside just looks so bare! And that stream, good golly!"
Dodge sighed flusteredly, as they crossed over the other side.
"Blue house!" Splatter chatted on, "almost like we don't have enough of those blue puffballs back on Sodor, heh?"
"Would be a rather more conventionnient sight for our desti…"
His response was cut off by the sound of a loud whistle.
"Look out!" Connor shouted, as he crossed over the track.
Splatter came to a hard stop, causing Dodge to wince.
"Let's go on!" the former encouraged, and advanced forward.
"I think we should go back!" Dodge insisted. "The boss will definitely…"
"'Scuse me! Coming through!" Vince the Mainland Diesel called out, passing by.
The points quickly switched, which diverted the pair away from the Junction.
"Phew! That was a close encountener!" Splatter sighed. "Now, where did we leave off?"
"With what?"
Splatter sniggered.
"The conversation, of course!"
Then he remembered.
"Oh, yeah! The Mainland! Everything around just looks so plain compared to Sodor!"
Dodge groaned as Splatter went on.
"Maybe it was working on Sodor for a distinguinished amount of time that…"
"Halt!"
The pair stopped at the sight of a crate dropping down right in front of them.
"Who goes there?!" Beresford the crane shouted from above.
"Ermm…" Splatter thought.
"What?" Dodge wondered.
"Who goes there?! Meaning: who…are…YOU?"
"Well, errr, I'm Splatter, and this my partner, Dodge!"
"Ah!" Beresford marveled. "I don't think I've seen a pair of engines like you around here before?"
"Probabaly because we've never been this way?" Dodge awkwardly suggested.
"Hmmmm…" Beresford thought, observing other engines pass by the Canal. "Well then, there is quite a bit of time before I can let you go! How 'bout a chat?"
"Oh, brother!" Dodge groaned.
"Much obliged!" Splatter awkwardly replied, slightly confused.
"So," Beresford wondered curiously, "where are you two off to then?"
"We're delivering a load of steel pipes to a place called Bridlingaton!" Splatter informed, Dodge raising an eyebrow at him from the back of the train.
"Bridlington?! That's miles from here!"
"Y-y-yeah, I-I-I know! A-a-and…and…"
"So where are the steel pipes then? Those flatbeds are empty!"
"Well, duh! We're taking them to the Steelworks first!"
"Oh!" Beresford thought, then chuckled, "well, that would have been my second guess!"
"Yeah, and it's very importanant that we make it on our way!" Dodge insisted.
"Ermmm, factly!" Splatter added.
"Ah, well, why didn't you say so?" Beresford beamed. "Your line's all clear anyway!"
He lifted the crate up from the track just as their signal went up.
"Thank you!" he called, as the pair hurriedly rushed off. "Come again! Oh, and by the way, the name's Beresford! Oh!"
He sighed sadly as he watched them disappear, and engines started passing through again.
"Thanks for asking!" he moaned.
"'ey! Splodge! Wait!"
"Aha!"
Diesel 10 aimed his claw out just as Beresford dropped the crate down onto his track.
"Oof! Pinchy!" the Warship groaned, as the claw hit him on the top.
"Hello there!" Beresford greeted. "Who are you?"
"Huh?" Diesel 10 thought, looking up, puzzled.
"I'll start! My name's Beresford! What brings you here?"
Diesel 10 groaned with dismay.
"Phew!" Splatter sighed with relief. "Close call, eh, Dodge? Funny crane he was too!"
"I don't suppose we would have ran into him if you'd had just…"
"Look, Dodge! Smoke!"
"Smoke?!"
"Yes, yes, up there! Do you see it?"
"I can't see anything! You're the one at the front of the train!"
Splatter groaned.
"Come! Let's see what it is! Hopefully it's not a volcano or something like that!"
"A volcano-woahhhhhh!"
Dodge wailed as Splatter tugged them along towards the direction of where the smoke was erupting from.
"Why are we doing this?" Dodge wondered.
"I don't know!" Splatter thought.
He came to an abrupt stop, causing Dodge to groan behind him. The pair took a glimpse at the destination they arrived at where the smoke was coming from.
"Wow!" Splatter gazed.
"Golly!" Dodge gulped.
"So, question is," Splatter thought. "Is this where…?"
"Welcome!"
"GAHHHH!"
Splatter and Dodge were surprised; out from the building came a tank engine they had never seen before!
"Oh, sorry," he chuckled. "Didn't mean to give you a fright! My name's Hurricane! Frankie's mostly in charge, but I also help with keeping things in order here at the Steelworks!"
"The Steelworks?!"
"We made it, Dodge! Boy, the boss is sure to be pleased with us!"
Dodge raised an eyebrow with skepticism, but Hurricane just chuckled.
"Come on in!" he encouraged. "We'll have you both all taken care of!"
The pair confusedly followed him into the building.
"Hey! Frankie!" he alerted. "We have company!"
"Company?" the diesel wondered aloud, rolling into sight. "What compa…"
She stopped at the sight of Splatter and Dodge, who shot her funny looks.
"Ah!" she gazed. "Visiting diesels, eh?"
"Ermmm, actualally, we're just dropping in!"
"Yeah, yeah, due for some pipes back for…"
Hurricane gasped.
"They must be here for the delivery that manager was talking about! Over back on Sodor!"
"Yep!"
"That's us!"
"Don't worry!" Frankie assured them. "We'll have those pipes ready for you in no time! Ahem!"
She cleared her throat aloud.
"Oh, experimental engines!"
"Coming!"
"On the way, boyo!"
"Invisibility on!"
All at once, the three experimental engines rushed into sight and Merlin let off a great of deal of steam, leaving Splatter and Dodge dumbfounded, as they observed the cloud of smoke.
"Oh, erm, did it work that time?"
Lexi sighed.
"I'm afraid not, Merlin!"
"Not at all!" Theo regretfully added.
"Oh," Merlin thought, dismayed.
Splatter and Dodge exchanged confused glances with each other.
"Attention!" Frankie called to them. "Now, I need you three you three to have those pipes ready for our visitors here to take away immediately!"
"Oh, golly go! Visitors!" Lexi exclaimed, eyeing the pair of diesels. "How do you do?"
"Come on, Lexi!" Theo quietly reminded her, prompting the other two to follow after him.
In no time at all, the three engines had the pipes loaded and ready for Splatter and Dodge to take away.
"Thank you!" Lexi called, as the pair left the Steelworks building. "Come again!"
"See, Dodge!" Splatter blurted out. "I told you we'd make it, didn't I?"
"Yes!" Dodge expressed exasperatedly. "Now, how 'bout we discuss where to actually take the pipes?"
Splatter chuckled.
"Oh, we got that all covered! That goods yard, remember?"
"Errrr, Splatter?"
"Bridlingaton! That's what it was called! The place Rosie was talking about!"
"Come back with my flatbeds!" Diesel 10 gawked, as he raced by them.
Dodge was caught off-guard as he raced past them and through the entrance to the Steelworks before racing into the building
"Woah!" he wailed.
He raced uncontrollably into a container of slack, causing it to spill everywhere and splash all over his face. He groaned slightly.
"Lots of engines on Sodor talk about places on the Mainland!" Splatter went on, taking no notice. "So many to think of at once, ya know!"
"Was that the boss we just saw go by?" Dodge wondered.
"I didn't see him!"
"I highly suggest we return to that Steelworks!"
"Nonsense! We have a job to do! The boss is fine! He's back at headquarters waiting for us to finish the job!"
"That's what he was expectating us to do in the first place!" Dodge bluntly informed him.
Splatter raised an eyebrow at him with confusion.
"What's up with you?! Have you taken on the wrong fuel this morning?!"
"Easy for you to say! You take on the wrong fuel every morning!"
"Oh, really? Is that factly?!"
"Yeah! And I'll tell you what else! I am tired of you running your mouth and messing up every assignment we're given! If you would just take a moment to be quiet, maybe we'd actualary get something done!"
Splatter came to an abrupt halt, much to his partner's surprise.
"What are you doing now?!" Dodge demanded.
"I'm sorry, Dodge! I really let you down!"
"What do you mean?"
"You're such a know-it-all! How 'bout you take the lead?!"
"Oh, really?! Is that how you're gonna act now?"
"Yeah! And tell ya what: I'll even say nothing the whole way!"
"Fine with me!"
Their drivers proceeded to uncouple them from their ends of the train.
So the two diesels swapped places; Dodge led the front of the train while Splatter took the back! The pair said nothing to each other the whole way!
"Heh!" Dodge scoffed. "I'll get us back to Sodor!"
But for Dodge, that was easier said than done…
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
"Hmm…" he thought, as he diverted the train away from the Steelworks. "I'm pretty sure this is the same track we took before!"
Splatter yawned and looked the other way, as Dodge trundled on.
"This all does look familiar!" Dodge wondered, looking at the waterfront beside him.
He was caught off-guard by a crate landing down on the track.
"Hello there again!" Beresford shouted out.
"Oh no!" Dodge groaned. "Not him again!"
He backed the train down again.
"Wait!" Beresford called. "Come back! Ya can't just…"
The pair were caught off-guard by the loud sound of Donald's whistle. The Caledonian engine came to a halt and groaned, as the cavalcade crossed over the set of points.
"Tried to warn ya!" Beresford groaned.
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
"That was a close one!" Dodge admitted, as he headed back the other way. "Silly crane would have made us late!"
Splatter sniggered quietly as Dodge pressed on.
The route Dodge was taking led them through down a track neither of them could make out!
Splatter looked all around at the woodland on both sides with confusion.
"I don't recall us going down this way! Do you, Splatter?"
"Lips are sealed!" the latter diesel shortly replied.
"Oh, right," Dodge remembered.
He kept a confident look on his face as he pressed on forward.
"Hmm…." he thought, "everything here looks kinda iffy too!"
Making their way out of the forest, Splatter and Dodge stumbled across the old yard where the experimental engines used to work!
"I don't remember going down this way to that Steelworks either!" Dodge wondered. "And why does everything down here look so overgrown?"
"Not saying anything!" Splatter bluntly put in.
"Huh!" Dodge huffed, raising an eyebrow. "Who needs ya anyway?!"
Dodge went in a loop around the yard, which led them back into the woodland.
"Oh, boy," he groaned, "here we are again!"
Splatter hummed quietly as Dodge rumbled on down the rickety track.
"I can't do this! I can't do this!" he whimpered quietly to himself.
He came across a fork in the track and stopped, looking both ways.
"Right," he thought. "That's the way we came in. So my instininct tells me that we should take a left!"
He turned down the left track through the woodland.
"Don't suppose there's any other way outta here unless we wanna run into that crane again!"
Splatter coughed and said nothing, causing Dodge to become a little anxious.
"Oh, golly!" he gasped, looking up. "Smoke ahead! Hope it's not the same place we were before!"
But unfortunately it was; the other way out of the woodland had led Splatter and Dodge back to the SteelWorks!
"Hmm…" Splatter wondered sarcastically yet awkwardly, "this place sure don't look familiar!"
Dodge groaned.
"I'm sorry, Splatter. I give up!"
"Whaddya mean?"
"We've been round these parts thousamands of times and even you know the way more than me!"
"So…" Splatter wonderedly, confused.
Dodge sighed heavily.
"Can we swap back?" he quickly suggested.
Splatter smiled.
"Obliged!" he agreed, awkwardly.
"Thank you!" Dodge sighed with relief.
The pair were uncoupled from both sides and moved around to reassume their positions.
And so the two diesels switched back round so that Splatter took the front of the train and Dodge took the back.
"Ready, Dodge?"
"Whenever you are!"
They watched as Hurricane came into sight with a train of empty flatbeds.
"Ah, you're both back!" he marveled. "I thought you both had to deliver these pipes!"
"We did!" Splatter replied, "but we, ermmmm…got lost!"
"I can vouch for that!" Dodge admitted.
"Surily you can!"
Dodge groaned meekly.
"We were looking for a goods yard nearby!" Splatter insisted. "Bridlingaton, I believe! We've been there before, but it's our first time in forever around these parts. We've never been down this part of the Mainalnd, you see, and we'd really apprecicate it if you could help us!"
Hurricane grinned.
"Of course I can! Just keep going on down past this track past the woodland area. Then it will be your next exit on the right!"
"Much obliged!" Splatter replied gratefully, and set off.
"Good luck!" Hurricane called after them.
Dodge thought of insisting otherwise that they should return to the DieselWorks, but this time let his partner Splatter lead the way, so as not to make them later still.
"Boy, do you recall the Mainland ever looking this weird, Dodge?" Splatter chatted. "I mean, first we have funny looking houses and talking cranes, and that Steelworks! Golly, I'd love to see one of those puffballs go to that place, given how scaridy they all are of the Smelters! And those engines working there! Weren't they just odd…?"
Dodge sighed as he listened to his partner chat on.
Splatter and Dodge arrived at Bridlington all in good time!
Ulli the Diesel honked as he rolled up to them.
"Welcome back, you two!" he greeted. "Sure has been a while!"
"Precisively!" Splatter replied. "Just came back to drop off some pipes from that ol' Steelworks! That's all!"
"Oh, brother," Dodge groaned.
Ulli smiled.
"So I see! Well then, be sure to bring those flatbeds to that platform over there! The men will have the pipes all taken care of for you!"
Splatter grinned as he made a beeline for the platform nearby.
"See, Dodge? I told we'd make it! Whaddya think?"
"You really wanna know I think?" Dodge smirked.
Splatter groaned.
"Did I have to ask?"
"Well, you did!"
"Would you rather have taken the lead?"
"Nah!"
"Then whatcha squabblin' for?"
"I'm not squabblin'!"
Splatter chuckled.
"Oh, I think you are!"
"Am not! You started it!"
"Oh, yeah?!"
"Yeah!"
The diesels working nearby observed the pair bantering and exchanged funny glances with each other.
"Funny pair, those two!" Vince remarked.
"Noisy too!" Vito agreed.
"But they still managed to get the pipes here!" Ulli pointed out, as he backed down beside them.
"Guess so!" Vito sighed.
Soon enough, the pipes were unloaded and Splatter and Dodge made it back to Sodor with their empty flatbeds. But the two continued to squabble to each other the whole way…
"Why are we stopping?" Dodge wondered, as they stopped at a signal.
"Watch!" Splatter encouraged.
They waited as the points were set towards the next line, then proceeded to cross over the points.
"Quickest way to avoid Mr. Chatterbox Crane!" he admitted.
"Clever!" Dodge dully noted. "Only wish I thought of it myself!"
"Well, you're at the back, so joke's on you! I thought of it!"
"Any dimwit coulda done so, ya know!"
"Oh, really?!" Splatter sneered.
"Factly!"
"So does that mean either of us dimwits coulda thought it?"
"Nah! Just you, dimwit!"
Beresford chuckled at the banter back-and-forth as the pair passed through the Canal. … …
"Do you think the boss will be happy with us?" Splatter wondered.
"I don't know!" Dodge slyly remarked. "Whaddya think I've been tryna getcha to do the whole time?"
"How should I know?"
"Well, if you were listenin', you woulda!"
"I don't know, Dodge! The boss said somethin' 'bout pipes; Rosie said somethin' 'bout a goods yard! I thought somethin' added up!"
Dodge sighed.
"You're hopeless!"
"Oh, I'm hopeless?!"
"Yeah!"
"Well, let's see how do without me then!"
"Great! Let's get started!"
Gordon and Murdoch both groaned as they listened to the pair bickering whilst traveling through Vicarstown Station.
"Maybe some other day!"
"Not today, ya mean!"
"Nah!"
"See?! Ya need me round!"
"Never said that!"
Splatter sniggered.
"Okay!" he concluded. "We'll see!"
"Oh, brother!" Dodge groaned.
The pair arrived back at the DieselWorks, where Den and Dart were waiting outside the shed.
"Diesel 10 would like to have a word with you two!" Den informed him. "Not sure what it's about but…"
Dart sighed.
"What he means is…he'll be out soon enough to talk to you!"
"Uh oh!" Splatter and Dodge groaned.
They watched as Diesel 10 emerged from the building.
"Splodge! I've been expecting you two!"
"Errr, it's Splatter, actually! A-a-and…"
"Cool it!" the Warship snapped. "You're already in for it as it is!"
"Told you!" Dodge winced, as they both went red in the face.
"I instructed you both specifically to…"
"Ah! Splatter! Dodge!" the Dieselworks manager exclaimed. "You made it back! Splendid! Got a call from the goods yard at Bridlington and they told me that you delivered the pipes there all in good time! Well done!"
"Yay!" Splatter cheered.
"Huh?" Diesel 10 wondered with confusion.
"I'll take it!" Dodge admitted, albeit slightly confused.
"Hooray!" Paxton honked, and led the other diesels in a chorus of honking horns.
"Heh!" Diesel scoffed in exception.
"Whatcha think, Dodge?!" Splatter asked. "We do good or what?!"
"Guess so!" Dodge replied, as his partner beamed over at him.
And amongst the chorus of cheers and honking horns, Dodge was able to manage a slight smile as well!
Diesel 10 groaned and limped slowly back to his shed, murmuring to himself the whole way.
A story all about Splatter and Dodge. This was the longest entry I've written in quite a bit but nevertheless, it was fun writing a story around the two hench-diesels constantly screwing up; Splatter is the more talkative of the two while Dodge is the slightly more intelligent one who has more of an idea what Diesel 10 is looking for but he still follows Splatter's lead and has no sense of direction, making the two equally dumb and incapable of completing dirty jobs for Diesel 10. A fun little supporting cast was sprinkled around this story too; not particularly the Steam Team, but just others diesels, Murdoch, Rosie, Whiff, Scruff, the Mainland Crew etc. Splodge's banter was fun to incorporate into the story as well; they're awkward, simple-minded and also have poor vocabulary when it comes to bigger words (which are italicized throughout the story). More returnees and new characters yet to come, Diesel 10 and Splodge will be seen in another entry further down in this set. Until then, there are other individual character dynamics that will be explored in the stories listed below. Be sure to leave thoughts on this story and come back next week to watch as…
Arthur Owns Up - Arthur causes an accident and Saul gets blamed for it. Arthur goes about his day pretending as if nothing happened, though the cause of delays increasingly piles guilt upon him to a point where he realizes he has a tough decision to make!
Stephen And The Mine - Stephen has the courage to do most things…perhaps with the exception of going into the Ulfstead Mine out of fear that he'll get lost again and like he did long ago! However, when Glynn and some tourists become trapped in the mine, it's up to Stephen to overcome his fear and save them!
Marion And The Blisters - the miniature engines are annoyed by Marion's belief that they are magic and play a trick on her by pretending to grant her a wish, which backfires when Marion actually makes a discovery in the Arlesdale mines!
Be The Better Engine - Philip is often susceptible to bullying from Diesel. However, when rumors spread about Diesel and the other engines start to pick on him, Philip seizes an opportunity to get even with Diesel by jumping in on their treatment of him, unaware of how it affects Diesel himself!
Rebecca's Challenge - James shows no secret for his dislike of trucks and complains about it to Rebecca who challenges him to take her passengers while she pulls his trucks. James accepts, thinking that Rebecca will realize why he doesn't like pulling goods.