Korra should have known that it wouldn't last. That the emotional high she'd felt for the last month wouldn't last. It never did and it always left Korra feeling the worse for it in the end. It was days like these that the family meals that took place with Tenzin's family weren't as welcome as they normally were. They seemed to drag on and Korra never found herself particularly hungary during these low points. Korra shoved the eggs and grits around her plate with her fork and her head held in her free hand. She let out a sigh, setting down her fork and pushing away her plate.
"Are you okay, Korra?" Tenzin asked, concern evident in his voice and Korra just sighed again.
"I'm not that hungry." Korra pushed against the table sliding backward with little resistance. She stood up forcing a smile as she spoke, "I think I want to be alone for a while." Concern was still etched in Tenzin's features as Korra turned and left the dining area. The walk back to Korra's room took longer than it should have as she purposefully took a longer, less populous route in order to avoid running into someone. The moment Korra entered her room she collapsed on her bed, borrowing her head into her pillow. The heavy feeling that settled over her was one that she was all too familiar with. The feeling that nothing she did mattered. That no matter how hard she tried nothing she did would affect her future.
Tenzin often encouraged Korra to seek professional help for her mental health problems but she refused. Korra didn't need some head doctor to tell her that she was depressed. She was well aware of that fact. She didn't need to go and talk to someone about her problems. She had managed just fine without a therapist and, to be frank, she was pretty sure that no therapist could handle her all of her problems no matter how skilled they may be.
Korra usually just waited for whatever funk she was in to pass which could take anywhere from a couple days to a few weeks. But until that happened Korra needed to take precautions so that she didn't upset her carefully constructed life. The first thing she did was use her smartphone, a gift from Kya on her last visit, to send an email to all of her students' parents letting them know that classes would be canceled indefinitely. The moment that was done Korra turned off her phone in order to avoid the onslaught of concerned phone calls she was likely to get. She tossed the phone away and then forced herself up out of the bed walking over to window and opening the curtains to let the sun in. Doing so sometimes helped Korra feel a little better slightly faster than usual. She hoped it would help this time. She laid back down in bed trying not think.
Korra hated thinking while she felt like this. Thinking always seemed too much when she was like this so she choose not to do so when she fell down this hole. She often failed at this step which only made her feel worse. Korra stared out the window watching the growing sunlight.
The sun was one of the things Korra liked about the world. It was a constant in a world of change. It made Korra feel better knowing that she wasn't alone in her unchanging nature. The sun would always rise and set at the same time everyday.
It was a small comfort.
The people around her were constantly changing as well. Korra could remember a time when Katara and Sokka had been children who she had watched grow up into amazing people who had done amazing things. Sokka was dead now and Korra hadn't visited Katara in fifteen years because she didn't want to confront the fact that she would out live yet another person. She hadn't even been able to bring herself to attend Sokka's funeral twelve years prior. It would have made it feel more real than it already was. There was also Aang's death seventeen years ago that had hit Korra pretty hard.
The sound of a knock at her door brought her depressive thought train to a screeching halt and she opened her eyes just as Pema entered her room. Korra turned her attention back to window noticing how dark it had gotten. She had spent nearly the entire day in a depressive spiral which only made her feel even worse. The bed bent under Pema's weight as she sat down and she placed a comforting hand on Korra's shoulder as she spoke, "I made you a sandwich. Please, try and eat some of it." Korra glanced at Pema out of the corner of her eye and let out a heavy sigh as she pushed herself up. Pema handed her the plate with the sandwich a gentle smile on her lips. Pema was one of the only people who ever really paid Korra much attention when she was like this with the other being Jinora. She knew the reason why they, out of everyone, were the ones to check on her. It had to do with an incident that had occurred three years ago but still haunted the two of them since.
Korra set the plate on her lap picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. The flavor that flooded her taste buds let Korra know just what kinda sandwich it was. She chewed slowly before swallowing and looking down at the thick Italian sandwich. She wasn't sure if she could eat any more but didn't want it to go to waste. "If you can't finish it that's fine. Just try to take a couple more bites." Korra nodded solemnly taking a few more bites before handing the plate back to Pema who took it with a smile. "If you need anything just let me or Jinora know."
Korra forced a smile as she nodded, "I will." Pema stood up and pressed a kiss to the side of Korra's head before leaving her alone once more. Laying back down, Korra let her eyes flutter closed trying not to think about the reason why Pema had said what she had said.
The sun rose and fell several times since that first morning and Korra still wasn't feeling any better. Pema or Jinora would check on her each day, sometimes more then once, and they would usually try to get her to eat. Which is why she wasn't all to shocked when there was a knock at her door followed by Jinora's voice, "I'm coming in." Korra glanced up as Jinora entered the room a plate in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She set both on Korra's bedside table before turning her attention to the person in question, "Please try and eat more than a few bites this time."
Korra gave her a weak smile, "I'll try." She could see that Jinora wasn't happy with her response as she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.
Jinora let out a huff before uncrossing her arms and asking, "Are you feeling any better?" Korra didn't have to think for long before shaking her head.
"No, not really." Normally Korra wouldn't have bothered with a follow up question but there was something about the way Jinora lingered by the door that made her ask, "Why do you ask?"
Jinora fidgeted slightly and avoided Korra's eyes, things that she wasn't normally prone to doing, before speaking, "It's just that Asami stopped by and I told her that you weren't feeling well but she, uh..." Jinora took a deep breath finally locking eyes with Korra, "She won't leave. I think she wants to see you herself." Korra ran a hand over her face, "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise. It's not your fault." Jinora visibly relaxed and Korra let out a sigh, "You can just tell her I don't want to get her sick, okay?"
Jinora nodded and gave a smile that was very much like her mother's, "I was going to do that I just didn't know if you maybe wanted to see her." Korra knew that there was probably some reasoning behind that assumption but she was currently much too tired to try to figure what that reasoning was. Jinora gave a wave before closing the door behind her as she left, leaving Korra alone once more.
As it turned out this would not be an isolated event as the next day Korra found herself in a similar situation. "She, what?" Korra grumbled at Pema who, unlike her daughter, stood her ground in the face of the woman who probably looked just about as pleasant as an angry komodo rhino.
"Asami's here again." Pema crossed her arms over her chest fixing Korra with a look, "Asking to see you."
Korra let out a groan falling back onto her pillow, "Tell her to leave."
Pema let out a huff, "I've tried. She's nearly as stubborn as you are." Korra let out frustrated groan.
"Then do it again." Pema let out a sigh, walking around the side of Korra's bed and sitting down and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Let her see you, Korra. She thinks you're sick and she's worried." Korra avoided looking at Pema.
"Tell her to leave." Pema let out a sigh, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, before standing up and leaving Korra alone.
Korra had left her room for the first time in two weeks when she nearly ran into Asami. Okay, so that wasn't entirely accurate. She had been kicked out of her room, told to go take a shower, and get some fresh air. Korra knew that when she returned, her sweat covered sheets would have been replaced with clean ones.
"Korra..." Asami said sounding somewhere between concerned and exasperated.
As always, Asami was dressed impeccably with not a single hair out of place. She wondered just who she was trying to impress because it definitely wasn't Korra given that she looked and smelled like shit.
Her perfect appearance might have made Korra embarrassed of her own if she wasn't too tired to feel pretty much anything.
Korra elected to ignore Asami, moving around her and continuing her trek toward the bathroom, "Korra, wait..."
Korra just kept walking. She really wasn't in the mood today.
Asami watched as Korra disappeared around the corner unsure of what just happened. That hadn't been the reaction she had expected to receive. It had seemed more like the kind of reaction she would've gotten two months ago then the ones she had gotten while they spent time together. Asami had come to expect Korra to greet her with crooked smiles and happy words. This was disconcerting to say the least.
Asami stepped off the covered walkway deciding that she needed to get the bottom of what was happening. She wandered the island figuring that the best people to ask were Tenzin's children given what she'd seen of their relationship with Korra. Or was it Korra's relationship with them? Asami shook her head deciding that she could figure out the simatices of their relationship later.
It wasn't hard to find Tenzin's children. All she had to do was follow the sound of laughter until she came to a small clearing where his three youngest children were playing. The youngest drew on the ground with chalk while the older two tossed a ball back and forth with airbending. "Uh, excuse me..." The older boy caught the ball and both turned to look at her.
"Yes?" Ikki said, craning her head to look up at Asami a curious look on her face.
"Can you tell me what's wrong with Korra?" The two children exchanged a look before Ikki spoke again.
"You should ask Jinora. She knows more than we do."
Asami considered this briefly before asking, "And where is Jinora?" Ikki caught the ball when it was tossed back at her by the other child.
"You might be able to find her at the mediation pavilion." Before Asami could open her mouth to ask just where that was Ikki answered her question for her, "It's on the east side of the island. Kinda hard to miss." Asami gave a nod thanking the young airbenders before continuing on her way. The island was incredibly small when compared to Republic City and Asami quickly made it to the east side of the island finding that Ikki had been right about it being hard to miss. It was the only one on the east side with a person under it and as Asami approached she was able to tell who that person was.
Jinora sat in the center of the pavilion, her eyes closed, legs crossed, and her fists pressed together. Asami walked up the steps before coming to a stop and leaning against the one of the columns. She watched Jinora, not quite sure how to start this conversation when she spoke, "If you have something to ask then just ask."
Asami was caught a little off guard given how quiet she had been trying to be but apparently that hadn't been quiet enough. She cleared her throat before saying, "I want to talk about Korra."
Without opening her eyes, Jinora gestured in front of her, "Have a seat." Asami did as she was told sitting down in front of the teen. "What about Korra do you want to talk about?"
Asami took a deep breath, preparing herself for this, "Is she sick? You said she was but that was nearly two weeks ago..." Asami trailed off not quite sure how to finish that sentence.
"Your asking me if Korra is sick?" Asami gave a quiet affirmation and Jinora continued, "Physically no. Mentally yes." Perhaps Jinora could sense her confusion because she quickly continued, "She's depressed."
Asami suddenly understood why Ikki had said Jinora would know more than them. She hadn't understood the complexities of mental health at that age either and even now she sometimes struggled to understand them. Mental health was a complex issue and Asami did not claim to be an expert on the topic. "I didn't know..."
Jinora finally opened her eyes, letting out a sigh as she fixed Asami with an understanding look, "She's really good at hiding it." She closed her eyes again returning to meditating.
Asami sucked in a breath looking away for a moment before asking, "How long has she-"
"Since before I was born." It was kind of scary how accurately she was predicting what she going to say though maybe she was just being incredibly obvious about it.
Asami bit her lip looking off to the side thinking for a moment before asking, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Jinora opened her eyes again, fixing her with another look. Though this one set Asami somewhat on edge. She rubbed her chin with her hand letting out a thoughtful noise, "Actually I think there is something you can do to help." She pushed herself to her feet, stretching her arms over her head, "But Korra won't like it."
Asami could see how Korra wouldn't like this plan. She was invading her personal space and Asami knew that Korra liked her personal space. With the help of Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo she had moved the Pai Sho board into Korra's room and got it into a position that left enough room on either side. The children disappeared out the door, leaving Asami alone in Korra's room. The room was sparsely furnished with only a bed, a single bedside table and dresser which left plenty of room for Asami to sit down and set the board.
The sound of the door flying open nearly caused Asami to flinch as she looked up to see Korra standing in the doorway looking like a deer caught in a set of headlights. "Uh..." Korra looked at Asami before looking over her shoulder and calling, "Pema, did you tell Asami where my room was?"
"No, I didn't." Pema's voice spoke from somewhere outside the room. Suddenly, Pema appeared in the doorway and Asami gave a brief wave smiling at her, "But she's here now so why don't you play a game or two."
"Pema..." Korra groaned and the older woman placed a hand on her shoulder before placing a kiss to her temple.
"I'm not about to kick her out of your room for you. If you don't wanna play then don't." Pema continued on her way and Korra let out a frustrated sigh as she entered her room slamming the door closed behind her. Asami watched her collapse onto her bed burying her face in her pillow. "You can leave now."
"Can we at least play a game? I've missed playing you." Asami looked up at Korra who rolled over in the bed with what seemed to be the least amount of energy necessary to complete the action. Her head hung off the bed so that she was looking at Asami upside down.
"Move my pieces for me?" Korra asked.
"Of course." Asami replied.