Red and Black
Disclaimer: Jk owns it all
Chapter 4
After Dumbledore left Remus returned to the kitchen where he found his young charge setting the table. "There's a better way to do that," he said. Meredith's eyes widened as Remus waved his wand and the dishes flew from her hands and landed on the table. "Cool," Meredith said. Remus smiled and waved his wand again. The contents of the oven flew out and onto their plates. Meredith had never seen this much food in her life.
"Is all this for me?" she asked.
"Of course," Remus said. "Do you see any other five year olds with red hair in this room?" Meredith giggled. Remus watched her as she ate like a starving hippogriff. After dinner he gave her a bath then it was time for bed. She took a long time deliberating whether she wanted to wear the purple pajamas or the blue pajamas. After settling on the purple he tucked her into her bed.
"Remus?" Meredith asked.
"Yes?"
"Will you tell me about my mommy?" Remus sucked in his breath. He was not prepared for this. He wasn't ready to talk about Angela, it was just too soon. But Meredith was staring at him with her big eyes so wide and so innocent that he couldn't say no.
"All right," he said sitting beside her on the bed. "I met her my first year at Hogwarts. We met on the train that was taking us to school. I didn't know anybody and neither did she. I was sitting alone in my compartment when she came in. She was a half-blood just like me."
"What's a half blood?" Meredith asked.
"That's someone who has people who aren't witches or wizard's in thier family. Both of your mother's parents were Muggle born. Their parents couldn't do magic."
"Were your parents magic?" Meredith asked.
"Yes," Remus said. "My mother's mother was pureblood, she came from an entirely magic family, and my mother's father was halfblood. My father was a Muggleborn.
"Was my daddy a Muggleborn?" Meredith asked. Remus felt a tug at his heart. There was no way that the child could know the pain that such an innocent question was causing him.
"No, he was a pureblood. Anyway," he said quickly changing the subject. "I was sitting in my compartment reading, when the door opened and she came in. She asked if she could sit with me because everywhere else was full. I told her fine and went back to my book. After awhile I guess she got tired of the silence and just grabbed my book and threw it out of the compartment. She told me I had to talk to her." Meredith giggled.
"She was one of the smartest girls in our year. There was only one other girl that was smarter than her." Remus choked up a little as he remembered Lily. She and Angela had been best friends. How many times had James, Lily, Sirius, and Angela made him feel like a fifth wheel when they went to Hogsmeade together.
"Was she pretty?" Remus looked down at the little girl. It was like looking at two of the people he had loved more than anything all over again.
"She was very pretty," Remus said his voice cracking. "Especially her hair. It was bright red. Like fire. But it's late now. It's time for you to go to sleep." He pulled the cover up and handed her the stuffed puppy she'd named Tuffy.
"Good night Meredith," he said.
"Good night, Remus," she whispered snuggling down in her covers, Tuffy tucked under her left arm. Remus patted her head and left the room turning out the light as he went. Once he was by himself with no five year old to occupy his thoughts Remus felt the emotion of the past couple of days come crashing down on him and he sank into the easy chair. It was just too much for any one man to handle. In twenty four hours four he'd lost all of his friends to death and betrayal. Before they were even luke warm in their graves he was given the charge of the child of the man he'd thought was his friend. The man who was the cause of so many deaths and so much pain. How was he supposed to raise the child of such a man? How was he to look into those eyes, Sirius's eyes, and not see the friend who had betrayed them all? How could he give her what she needed? The child had had no one her entire life. No one who understood her, who loved her. She needed to be loved. She was so starved for it. But how could he love her? Overcome with emotions Remus buried his face in his hands and cried.
Meredith couldn't sleep. She wasn't used to sleeping in a room by herself. She gave the stuffed puppy in her arms a hug. There were so many stuffed animals in the room but he was her favorite. She liked the happy look in his eyes when she picked him up. She had always liked dogs. There had been a dog outside the orphanage gates one day when she'd been outside playing. He had been big and black. When she'd first saw him she thought he was a bit scary but when he looked at her his eyes had been friendly. She'd reached through the bars to touch him. He'd come to her immediately. He'd been soft and she had giggled when he licked her hand. Then Eunice had yanked her away and told the dog to "get". She'd gotten such a telling off from Eunice and she'd been sent to bed without supper. She'd never seen the dog again. She rolled over and tried to shut her eyes. but sleep refused to come. She sat up as she heard something funny. It sounded like someone crying. BUt there was no one here but her and Remus. She carefully slipped out of bed taking Tuffy with her. She tiptoed to the end of the hallway. The crying was louder now. She crept down the stairs and peeped into the living room. She was shocked when she saw Remus sitting in a chair with his face buried in his hands and his shoulders shaking. She went slowly to the chair. Not wanting to scare him she carefully touched his knee. Remus jumped at her light touch.
"Remus?"she said softly. Embarrassed to have been caught weeping by a five year old Remus quickly wiped his face.
"Meredith," he said. "Why aren't you in bed?"
"Couldn't sleep," she said. "I heard you crying. Are you sad?" Meredith was suddenly afraid. Was he sad because she was here? Would he send her back because she made him sad?
"Oh Meredith," he said softly. "Come here." He held out his arms and she crawled into his lap.
"I'm crying because my friends, who I loved very much, went away and they're not ever coming back."
"Like my mommy?" she asked leaning her head against his chest.
"Yes," he said stroking her hair.
"Do you miss them?"
"Yes very much so," he said.
"I miss my mummy and daddy. Even though I never met them. Is that wierd?"
"No love," Remus said. "It's not wierd at all."
"It's sad to lose your friends. I'd cry too if I lost my friends, well if I ever had any." Remus felt something inside him hurt for the little girl in his arms. He didn't know what to say to her but that was okay because she was still talking.
"I was sad at the orphanage a lot. Specially on 'doption days. A lot of kids got 'dopted but never me. Only one couple wanted to 'dopt me, but Eunice told them about how I was strange and so they dopted Jody instead. The only one who ever took me was Chuck and he didn't like me. He threw a book at me and yelled. It was lonely at the orphanage."
"Yes," Remus said. "I know about being lonely." She stared up at him with her big eyes.
"Maybe now that we're together we won't have to be lonely anymore." Remus stared down in wonder at the little girl. Not knowing what to say to her he hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. There was no longer a question in his mind of how he could love her. The only question was how could he not.