Chapter 50

The conversation she'd overheard between Harry and her dad had Meredith extremely troubled. She tried to tell herself that it didn't mean anything. Her dad had only said he knew Black. That did not necessarily mean anything bad. Her dad had probably known a lot of people in school. Then why had he never mentioned it? The whole thing had her in knots. Patricia was not helping matters.

"We know that Black and Harry's dad were friends," Patricia said to her a few days later. "And your dad was friends with Harry's dad. He must have been friends with Black too. Meredith it's just too weird." Meredith looked up from the applications she was filling out for hospitals in Scotland, Ireland and Wales. If she didn't get accepted at St. Mungoes hopefully she'd at least be able to stay in Britain. She had seen how difficult it was for Mrs. Weasley when Bill and Charlie had gotten jobs in such far away countries and she hoped she would not have to do the same.

"Are you even listening to me?" Patricia said frustrated.

"No," Meredith said folding the application for Scotland.

"Meredith!"

"What?" Meredith said tucking the finished applications into her bag and making a mental note to visit the owlry before the day was over.

"Your dad was probably friends with Sirius Black. An escaped MURDERER!"

"Oh that Sirius Black," Meredith said sarcastically. "I thought you meant Sirius Black the pastry chef."

"This is serious Meredith," Patricia said practically stamping his foot.

"What would you like me to do about it?" Meredith asked impatiently. "Just because they may have been friends 20 years ago what does that have to do with Black now?" Patricia looked uncomfortable.

"Look," Patricia said. "It's just a little suspicious that Black was able to get into the castle with Dementors all over the place." Meredith stood up and stared Patricia hard in the face.

"You're accusing MY father of letting a murderer into the castle," Meredith said. Patricia shifted uncomfortably. She may as well have picked up a sword and stabbed Meredith through the heart.

"You are unbelievable," Meredith said spinning on her heel and leaving the room. She was halfway down the hall when she heard her friend call to her. She thought about just continuing to walk away but she couldn't. She stopped and turned as Patricia hurried up to her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that about your dad. I just don't know what to make of all this." Meredith sighed. It had hurt more than anything to think that her best friend could think her dad capable of such a horrible thing. But the truth was the fact that her dad hadn't shared this part of his history with her bothered her more than she was willing to let on.

"I don't either," Meredith sighed. "But I know my dad wouldn't do anything to hurt Harry. He cares about him."

"Yeah," Patricia said. "That's obvious." Meredith sighed again. She needed to talk to her dad. She wanted him to tell her that she had nothing to worry about. She needed her hear it from him.

"I gotta go do something," she said. "I'll see you later." She turned and headed down to the DADA classroom. He'd probably be there giving Harry another Patronus lesson. From what her dad had told her Harry was doing incredibly well. She slowly pushed the door open and poked her head in. She sucked in her breath as she saw the huge dementor looming over Harry.

"It's a boggart," she reminded herself slipping into the classroom. She stayed quiet lest the boggart see her and change forms. Her dad noticed her and gave her a nod. She very carefully slipped over to his side. She watched fascinated as Harry held back the boggart/dementor with and indistinct silver cloud.

"Impressive," Meredith said.

"I agree," Remus said. "Uh oh." Both were moving towards Harry as he began to falter. Remus stood in front of the boggart which quickly changed to the full moon. Meredith grabbed Harry around the waist as his knees buckled. Remus forced the boggart back into the crate and quickly slammed the lid closed.

"That was excellent Harry," Remus said turning around. Meredith helped a pale clammy Harry into a chair as Remus took a chocolate frog from his desk drawer and handed it to Harry. Harry ate the frog quickly.

"I can still hear them," Harry said. Meredith raised her brows but did not say anything.

"But it's not as loud is it?" Remus said.

"No," Harry admitted. "It's faint. Like their far away."

"You're making amazing progress Harry," Remus assured him. He glanced at his watch.

"I'm afraid I have to go see the headmaster right now," he said. "Was there something you needed Meredith?"

"Uh no," she said. "It can wait." She was not about to ask her dad about Sirius Black with Harry sitting right there.

"Wait here a bit Harry," her dad said tucking the crate with the boggart in it under his desk and grabbing his wand. "Till you feel a little better then you can get back to your dormitory. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Same time?" Harry asked.

"Same time," he said. He gave Meredith a quick hug and left the classroom. Meredith looked at Harry. He still looked shaky but he seemed to be doing better. She sat with him a moment till the color had come completely back to his face and then they stood to go together.

"That's pretty impressive," she said to him as they headed back to Gryffindor tower. Harry shrugged.

"I guess so," he said glumly.

"I'm serious," she said squeezing his shoulder. "It took most of my class months to get as far as you are. You've been at it, what a week? And we weren't practicing on actual dementors. Not even boggarts." Harry still looked glum.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe my memories aren't strong enough or something."

"You're being too hard on yourself, Harry," Meredith scolded. "Percy didn't even get a cloud for two weeks." Harry smiled a little at that. Meredith knew that Percy would kill her if he found out she'd told Harry that. But the idea that he'd achieved something the Head Boy hadn't seemed to perk Harry up, so it was worth it.

"Meredith," Harry said sounding a little guilty. "I'm afraid that…well…when a dementor is near me I can hear my parents. I can hear Voldemort killing them." Meredith felt her heart clench a little at that.

"It's terrible," Harry said. "But at the same time…I know I shouldn't want to but…I have no memory of their voices." Meredith understood immediately.

"Wanting to hear your parents' voices, even under those circumstances, is nothing to be ashamed about Harry," Meredith said. Harry looked doubtful. She stopped and turned him so she could look into his face.

"My mother died before I ever got a chance to know her Harry. I don't even have the slightest trace of a memory of her." Of that she was absolutely certain. No matter how hard she had tried over the years to conjure up some faint memory of her mother from the deepest part of her subconscious there was simply nothing there but what her dad had told her about the woman who had given birth to her.

"Believe me Harry," she said. "There's not much I wouldn't do to hear her voice just once." Her chest felt heavy all of a sudden. She never realized before how much she and Harry truly had in common. Or how lucky she was. Every time she saw Harry at the start of a new school year he always looked half starved and neglected. It made her remember what it had been like at the orphanage. She and Harry may have both lost a lot to Voldemort but Harry had most certainly gotten the short end of the stick. And it never seemed to end for him. The sorcerer's stone, the chamber of secrets and now he had a murderer after him not to mention a bunch of dementors. Lord, she had been blessed compared to what Harry had been through.

Slytherin defeated Ravenclaw narrowly in their match which only served to make Oliver more determined to defeat Ravenclaw. He increased team practices to five a week meaning her only joined them one evening a week for homework. This served to make the young man only more jumpy and distracted. He was not the only one. Every night before going to sleep Meredith had tried to clear her mind so the next time her father went into her head she would be able to block him from seeing her memory of Flint. She'd gotten better at keeping him out of her head during class. The last time he'd tried to get into her mind she had managed to keep her mind clear enough to send him backwards with an impediment jinx when she felt him breaching her walls. Oliver, unfortunately, was so caught up on getting his team ready for the match against Ravenclaw that he was a having trouble protecting his thoughts from her dad. He kept reassuring her that her dad had not seen the attack but Meredith knew it was only a matter of time. In their last class Oliver's face had become extremely red after failing to block her dad. He had left the class in a hurry and had barely been able to look at Meredith or her dad for two days afterward. She didn't think it was the attack because her dad had looked almost amused about whatever it was he had seen. Still, she had waited for him on the bleachers out on the pitch until he was done with practice and then confronted him. He had been very jittery and uncomfortable.

"Look it had nothing to do with you!" he had snapped at her. "There are just some things I would prefer your dad not see." This had worried her greatly but she had opted not to press the matter as it would only serve to make him more upset. Oliver looked positively sick as they entered the DADA classroom just a few days before the match against Ravenclaw. Meredith was praying that her dad would choose someone else to pick on today.

"All right class," her dad said stepping to the middle of the circle. "Most of you have managed to block me for short amounts of time and kept enough control of the Occlumency to launch a physical counter attack. However, practice makes perfect and so we shall continue. Miss Bucklin if you will." Meredith held her breath each time someone new took the position. She was watching the clock, praying that class would end before her dad had a chance to get to her or Oliver. He was working on Percy now. Percy's face was blank and he was muttering to himself.

"Excellent Percy," Remus said releasing the spell on Percy. "That was real progress. Now who will be next? Oliver?" Meredith's stomach dropped. She heard Oliver curse under his breath.

"Come on Oliver," Remus said. "Nothing to be afraid of." Oliver glared at her dad. At that moment he looked as though he would rather be anywhere else in the world. He took a deep breath and stood in from of her dad. Meredith's hands were squeezed in tight fists by her sides.

"C'mon Oliver," she prayed silently. "Clear your mind, clear your mind."

"Legilimens," he dad said. Meredith's nails dug into her palm as she watched Oliver's eyes. His eyes were blank and staring straight ahead of him. He seemed to be fighting off the attack on his mind. Her dad was smiling a little.

"He must be doing well," Meredith thought biting her lip. She noticed Oliver's hands start to clench and he started to sweat. Then he relaxed and her dad's smile widened. Meredith's hands unclenched at her side. Oliver was doing all right. Her dad couldn't get in. Just then Oliver starting to shake his head.

"No…" she heard him whisper. Meredith stomach dropped. Oh no! Oliver's face was growing frantic, as though he were trying to hold onto whatever control he still had. Somehow Meredith just knew what her dad was seeing. Feeling sick she looked to her dad's face. It had changed from pleased to tense.

"Please stop," she prayed silently. Her dad dropped his wand and Oliver let out a gasp. His hands were shaking and he was sweating.

"Yes," her dad said his face extremely tense. "Very much improved Oliver."

"Th…thank you professor," Oliver said his voice shaky. "If I could um…could I be excused sir?"

"You are excused," Remus said his voice tight. Meredith's eyes were wide and her heart was pounding in her chest. It felt as though there were not enough air in the room. She was quite certain she was having a panic attack.

"Meredith," she turned and saw her dad staring at her. His expression scared her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Oliver shooting her an apologetic look as he all but bolted from the room.

"Your turn," her dad said. Oh god no. He wouldn't do this to her. Not here. Not in front of everyone.

"Clear your mind," she thought. "NOW!" It wasn't so easy. She stepped to the center of the room and tried not to look directly at her dad.

"Don't think about it," she ordered herself. "Think about anything else." She quickly started reciting all the properties of every plant she had ever learned about in Herbology.

"Ready?" her dad asked. From the expression on his face Meredith knew he was not going to wait till she was.

"Legilimens!" The spell hit her brain like a hammer.

"Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing," she thought frantically. She felt the flimsy wall crumble and the sharp probe of her father's spell slam into her thoughts.

… Patricia'a eyes widened and Meredith took the knife and sliced her palm with it…Patricia screamed as an unconscious Oliver fell from his broom and landed on the ground with a sickening 'thud'….."Watch out!" Percy yelled yanking Meredith away from a hex that Flint had sent their way. "Expelliarmus!" Oliver yelled disarming Flint. One of Flint's cronies Terence Higgs raised his wand."Petrificus Totalus!" Patricia shouted missing Higgs and hitting Adrian Pucey. Pucey's arms slapped to his sides and he fell to the ground. Higgs fired a curse that sent Oliver flying…..Flint was glaring at her with the most evil look in his eyes. He kept moving closer and closer. Meredith cried out as her back slammed against the cabin. Meredith tried to make her voice work, to call for help but she could not make a sound come out. Flint laughed. He seized her wrists and pinned her hands against the cabin. Meredith struggled trying to break his grip on her but Flint was bigger and much stronger. Meredith clawed at his hands and tried to kick him. In all he life she had never know such fear. She tried to scream to somehow fight off the silencing charm but it was useless without her wand…..

"PROTEGO!" Meredith shouted. Her vision cleared and she was no longer in the prefect bathroom. She was on her knees on the floor of the DADA classroom. She saw her father in front of her. His expression was a mixture of sadness, confusion, and fury. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Patricia kneeling down beside her.

"You okay?" her friend asked her voice filled with concern. Meredith blinked and realized that she had been crying. She took Patricia's hand and let herself be pulled to her feet. Her head was pounding. She could feel everyone staring at her. It was just like in first year after she had blown up the potions classroom.

"We're done for today," her dad said his voice sounding strange. "You're dismissed." Meredith wanted nothing more than to flee the classroom with the rest of the students but…

"Meredith please stay a moment," her dad said. Meredith felt sick. This was it. Her secret was out. Patricia squeezed her shoulder before leaving with the others. She could hear Percy behind her inquiring what the heck all that had been about. Patricia told him to mind his own business and Meredith felt a wave of gratitude to the blonde. Her knees were shaking and she was afraid she was going to collapse at any moment.

"Come with me," she heard her dad say. She looked up and found her dad standing beside her. She followed him into his quarters. He placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her over to the bed.

"I have to get to my next class…" she said weakly.

"I'll write you an excuse," her dad cut her off. "You're in no state to go anywhere. Lie down." Meredith wanted to protest. She wasn't sick or injured. Her dad was abusing his position. But her body was not following her minds rules. She collapsed onto the bed and let her head fall onto the pillow.

"Relax," he said summoning a light blanket from the sofa and laying it over top of her. "Close your eyes." Perhaps it was the change in tone in his voice. Professor Lupin had vanished and now he was just Daddy. She closed her eyes and relaxed her breathing….

She opened her eyes and looked around her. For a moment Meredith paniced! Where was she? Then she remembered. Her dad had brought her here after class. She groaned. Her dad knew. He had seen Flint attack her in her memories. She sat up slowly and saw him sitting in a chair beside the bed. He looked up at the sound of her movement.

"Feeling better?" he asked. She did not know how to answer. Her body felt better. Her head was no longer pounding and she felt a little steadier on the outside. The inside was a whole other story though.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Nearly three," he said. At her panicked look he said "I sent a note to Professors Sprout, Flitwick and Hagrid. You have a pass for the day." Meredith nodded. She stared at the floor waiting for him to speak.

"Look at me," he said gently. The gentleness in his tone only made her duck her head lower.

"Meredith," he said lifting her chin so she had to look at him. She looked at him and felt herself fall apart. Tears were streaming from her eyes faster than she could stop them and her entire body shook. She felt his arms go around her and lift her from the bed onto his lap. She buried her face in his shoulder and let her tears fall.

"Shh…" her dad soothed her gently stroking her hair. "It's all right love. It's all right." Her fingers clutched at his robes as she let out a gasp. She was safe here. Her Daddy was holding her. He loved her and he would keep the monsters away. When she had her breath back she sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Better now?" he asked her. She nodded. He moved as though he were going to let her go but she was not ready for that yet.

"Don't let go," she whimpered hugging him tighter.

"Not till you're ready," he said rubbing her back. She took a couple deep breaths and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

"Can you talk about it?" he asked her. She sighed and felt more tears fall.

"I'm sorry Daddy," she cried. "I'm so sorry."

"For what love?" he said a little surprised. She sniffed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said. Remus sighed.

"I admit I would have rather heard it from you than the way I found out. When I was reading Oliver I could tell there was something he was guarding very closely. When I saw it I didn't know if it was a memory or a nightmare. I had to see. I shouldn't have done it that way. I should have asked Oliver if it was real before I did Legilimency against you. I'm sorry." Meredith shook her head.

"I knew when we started learning Occlumency it was only a matter of time before you saw it. I should have told you then."

"Why didn't you?" he asked. Meredith ducked her head.

"I was ashamed of it," she whispered.

"Why? Meredith you didn't do anything wrong. None of it was your fault."

"I let it happen," she said. "I just let him sneak up on me and disarm me. The whole time I just felt so…exposed. It was like a violation!" she was shaking again and her dad held her tight.

"It was not your fault love," he said.

"You aren't mad at me?" she wondered.

"I'm not mad," he said with a sigh. "But I am a little disappointed that you didn't come to me with this. I'm your father and I love you and I need to know when something is wrong so that I can help you."

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Just promise me," he said holding her away from him so he could look into her eyes. "no more secrets." She nodded.

"I promise Daddy. No more secrets."

"That's my girl," he said hugging her close.

"I love you Daddy," she whispered.

"I love you too Meredith."