Chapter 54
The Gryffindor's euphoria over winning the cup lasted about a week. Then it was time to get back to work. Everyone was buckling down studying for exams. Even Fred and George were studying hard getting ready to take their OWLS. Percy was especially tense snapping at people and giving anyone who bothered him detention. Meredith was not getting more than two hours of sleep a night. If she wanted St. Mungoes to take her she knew that needed top marks. But she no longer studied alone. She and Patricia were friends again and they had spent many hours together in the library quizzing each other. Patricia needed plenty of help, she was way behind where they needed to be.
"So what are you going to do once we graduate?" Meredith asked as they practiced wand movement down by the lake. Patricia was making a pile of leaves stand up and march in a row like soldiers.
"I dunno," Patricia said. "I've never really been all that ambitious like you and the boys. I never had a real dream about what I wanted to be. Of course I never thought I'd make it to seventh year." Meredith shook her head and waved her wand making it snow.
"I got a letter from my dad the other day," Patricia said dropping her wand and letting the leaves fall over.
"He's says there's an opening on the Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee. He said he could put in a good word for me."
"Is that what you want?" Meredith said making the large white flakes dance around her. "To spend your time making up reasons why strange things happen and try to make muggles believe that a backfired curse is really a gas leak." Patricia shrugged.
"It's a job," she said. "And working for the ministry would please my dad." Meredith didn't say anything. She had a terrible feeling that Patricia would have a great deal of difficulty finding a job after Hogwarts unless her father used his influence.
"So what about your dad," Patricia said causing Meredith's spine to stiffen.
"What about him," Meredith said preparing to have another wound opened.
"Is he going to stay on here?" Patricia said. "Most of the kids like him."
"I don't know," Meredith said relaxing. "I think he wants to. I hope he stays on. He needs the job so badly. There's not a whole lot of employers who will hire him. Especially not in the magical world." Now that Patricia knew the secret Meredith was able to talk more freely about certain things that she once had to hold her tongue over.
"Well once you're a healer and start raking in the galleons he can retire and let you support him." Meredith shook her head.
"Somehow I don't think he'd be too happy with that idea. He's already oversensitive when it comes to me using my inheritance to take care of us. Besides healers don't start making a lot of money right off. Not till they reach full Healer status. It takes years of training."
"Your mum was a healer wasn't she?"
"So my dad says," Meredith said waving her wand and making the snow cease. "But I don't think she made her fortune at it. I guess it was family money. She died before she would have made full healer, if she was my dad's age."
"You really don't know much about her do you?" Meredith sighed and sat down on the grass.
"I only know what my dad tells me. But I have no memories of her. I don't even know what she looks like." Patricia gave her a sad look. Meredith shrugged.
"No sense dwelling on what can't be changed." A pair of OWLS flew up to them and dropped pieces of parchment at their feet.
"What's this," Meredith said lifting the parchment.
"It's our scheduled time to sit for our portraits for the memory book." Meredith sighed. She'd forgotten all about that.
"Oh great," she said. "Mine's in twenty minutes."
"Well that doesn't give us much time then does it," Patricia said pulling out her wand and coming toward Meredith. Meredith eyed the other girl warily.
"What are you doing?"
"Well we can't have you immortalized in the school memory book with your face all pale and your hair sticking out at all ends. Now just hold still." Meredith was not at all happy about this but she had to admit Patricia had a point. She sat still while Patricia ran a wand over her hair and face.
"What…" Meredith said as she felt something cover her mouth. It was soft and glossy and tasted like fruit.
"Lip gloss," Patricia said. "Your lips are always so pale and chapped. This will make them soft." Meredith rolled her eyes.
"If we had time we'd go to the dorm and I'd give you the full muggle treatment, but as we're pressed for time I'll have to make do with magic."
"Maybe you should work at one of those beauty boutiques muggle ladies are always going to trying to look twenty when they're actually fifty." Patricia smiled.
"Mum would love that I'm sure," she said. "Now just gotta fix up these robes."
"What are you doing?" Meredith jumped as was hot vapor shot out of Patricia's wand.
"Steaming spell," Patricia said running her wand over Meredith's robes smoothing out the wrinkles as she went.
"There," Patricia said. "Take a look." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small pocket sized mirror. She gave it tap and it stretched itself to a full length mirror. Meredith gasped when she saw her reflection. Her long red hair which had been frizzy a moment ago was now smooth and shiny and fell softly around her shoulders. There was red gloss on her lips and lavender powder above her eyes. She did not recognize herself.
"That's the face people will be remembering for years," Patricia said. Meredith blushed.
"Patricia," she said. "This was…well…thank you." Patricia waved her hand.
"Eh, I didn't do anything. You've always been gorgeous Mere. Now you better get up to the castle. And don't forget to smile." Meredith smiled a little and hurried up to the castle.
After her portrait was taken Meredith retreated to the dorm to wash her face. She appreciated what Patricia had done but it just wasn't what she was comfortable with. Once her face was clean she twisted her hair back into a knot. She could never focus unless her hair was off her neck and out of her eyes. She grabbed her wand and her bag and went down the common room. It was deserted as most of her house had opted for the library. She spread her things out on the table near the window and began looking over her notes. She glanced up as she heard someone come into the room. Patricia stood there shaking her head.
"Please tell me you kept the makeup on till after the photo was taken," she said scolding.
"Yes," Meredith said. "I'll look back at that picture some day and ask myself who is that girl with my name written under her photo." Patricia shook her head.
"I have something for you," she said coming over to the table. "I found it in the library." She set the book she carried on the table. Meredith raised an eyebrow and took the book. She glanced at the cover.
"Hogwarts Memory Book," Meredith said. She glanced at the year. It was seventeen years ago.
"This is my dad's class," she said fascinated. She opened it up and flipped through the pages. Faces of Hogwarts students looked back at her, smiling and waving. She turned to the L's and scanned down.
"This is my Dad," she said as she found Lupin, Remus. He looked young. Not at all like the man who had taken her from the orphanage. She supposed this was taken before the war. Before he'd been in battles where his friends had been killed. His light brown hair was wavy around his face. His eyes had dark circle under them and he looked a bit sickly. They must have taken the portrait on or around a full moon.
"God he looks so young," she whispered. She read below the name.
"Quote "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he to-day that sheds his blood with me,
Shall be my brother."
"Poetic," Patricia said.
"Shakespeare," Meredith said. "Henry V. It's one of Dad's favorites."
"Gryffindor Prefect, Dueling Club Runner Up, Mauraders," she glanced up. "Mauraders? Is that a club?"
"No idea. That's actually not what I wanted to show you," Patricia said reaching out and turning the pages.
"Here," she said. Meredith glanced down at the faces. She was in the R's. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Radcliffe, Rawlins, Rayburn,…." There she was. Meredith's heart leapt. If she didn't know better she'd have thought that Patricia had taken out the picture and replaced it with a mirror. The girl that looked back at her looked exactly like her.
"Amazing isn't it," Patricia said. "I saw it and I thought I was hallucinating. My god Mere, your mother looks exactly like you."
"They've always said I looked like her but…" She couldn't take her eyes off of her. This was her mother. She'd never seen a picture of her before. Her dad didn't have any. Meredith felt tears choking her.
"Oh my god," she said. "She's beautiful." Patricia smiled.
"Just like you," she said. Meredith shook her head.
"No," she said. "No I'm not. Not like her. Her eyes, her eyes are different than mine. They're prettier." She looked down at the quote:
"Love is a language anyone can understand if we only stop to listen."
"God that's so beautiful," she thought
"I guess you have your father's eyes. Well, your birth dad that is." Meredith tried to look casual but she couldn't ignore the tight fist that squeezed inside her belly.
"I guess so," she said. "Are there more pictures?"
"I think so," Patricia said turning the pages. "They show all the clubs and the Quidditch teams." Meredith's eyes widened as she turned a page to one with a heading 'Head Boy' and 'Head Girl.' A boy with rumpled black hair smiled up at her. It was true, Harry really was the very image of his father. The girl in the picture next to him had red hair and bright green eyes. Her smile was friendly and she seemed to be smiling at the boy in the picture next to her. Meredith made a mental note to show this to Harry at some point. She flipped a few more pages. She moved past photos of the Quidditch teams and other school clubs. She looked for her mother's face among them. Passing the clubs she saw pictures that were taken during different times and in different places during the school year.
"Oh lord," Meredith said her eyes landing on a photo of two girls. It was taken out on the grounds near the lake. It was winter. Both girls wore heavy coats and knit caps over their red hair.
"I guess your mum and Harry's were friends." Meredith shook her head in disbelief. The names underneath the photo: Lily Evans and Angela Redding. Her mother, the taller of the two had her arm slung around Harry's mother. They looked like sisters.
"My god," she whispered. Her mother, and Harry's had been best friends. Why had her dad never told her about this? She turned more pages and felt her blood go cold. Four boys waved at the camera. James Potter, her dad, and two other boys. One was short and pudgy with watery eyes and the other, tall lanky with long black hair surrounding his face. Even without reading the names below there was no denying who the boy was. Azkaban had given his face a more haggard look and his eyes were less haunted but there could be no doubt. This boy, who embraced her dad like they were brothers, was Sirius Black. Oh god. He'd kept this from her. They were friends. He'd been friends with Sirius Black.
"I knew it," Patricia said. "They were friends." Meredith's hands clenched in her lap. She couldn't deny it. Sirius Black and her dad had been friends. Why hadn't he told her? Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. That didn't mean…no it couldn't…he wouldn't. Meredith's heart was pounding. She felt sick and lightheaded. She couldn't believe she was even thinking it.
"It's just as I've suspected all along," Patricia said standing up. "They were friends. You can't deny it. There's the proof." Meredith raised her eyes slowly from picture. The smug look of satisfaction on the other girl's face made Meredith see red.
"You never changed your mind about him did you?" Meredith said trying to keep her voice steady. Meredith waited for her to deny it. She needed to hear that she had not been so foolish, so naïve. Patricia looked away frowning but did not say anything.
"Why?" Meredith said. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you pretend that everything was okay between us?" Patricia sighed and looked up at the ceiling. For a long time she did not speak.
"I can't pass my NEWTS without you," Patricia said finally. "Even my father's connections can't get me a job in the ministry without decent grades." At that moment Meredith would have preferred to have each of her fingers broken one at a time. It would hurt less and heal faster than the wound Patricia had just punched into her heart.
"My god," she said shaking her head. "I must be blind. Blind and thick." Seven years? Was it all a lie? "Were you ever my friend?" Patricia was staring at her. In her eyes was anger, and could it be shame?
"I was," Patricia said. Meredith didn't know whether to scream or to cry. Not since she'd been in the orphanage had she felt so alone. She could feel the rage bubbling inside her.
"So," Meredith said standing up. "It all comes out. God, I'm the stupid one. I actually believed you'd grown up!"
"You wanna talk about grown up?" Patricia challenged. "I'm not the one living in a dream world Meredith. I'm not the one who can't face reality."
"All this proves is that they were friends," Meredith snapped. "It doesn't mean he's been letting Black in the castle."
"He decided to take the defense against the dark arts post right after he saw that Black had escaped!" The logic, plain and hard was a slap in the face.
"Don't say anything else," Meredith said. She was nearly to the end of her fuse and Patricia was playing with fire.
"Once his old pal Black was out he didn't need to pass himself off as a decent citizen. Once they do away with Harry they'll probably take out the rest of us."
"Walk away," Meredith said her teeth clenched. Her hands were shaking and the vein in her lift temple was pulsing. She could already feel the floorboards shaking.
"You want to keep believing your dad, your hero, is this great wonderful man but I know what he is. He's a monster!"
"SHUT UP!" Meredith shouted. Patricia yelped as the bust of Godric Gryffindor exploded next to her head. Meredith couldn't make it stop. Never had she felt such rage.
"Ooh!" Patricia snarled as the books on the table flew across the room. Thinking that she was purposely being attacked Patricia yanked out her wand and fired a spell at Meredith. Meredith dodged the stinging hex but it caught the side of her neck. With a shriek of pure animal rage Meredith whipped her wand out and fired off three quick spells at Patricia that knocked her backwards over the sofa. Meredith ducked behind a chair as Patricia fired a hex at her even as she went over. Patricia was immediately back on her feet firing spells that Meredith blocked.
"Expelliarmus!" Meredith shouted. Patricia's wand flew from her hand. She was disarmed but by no means defeated.
"AIGH!" Patricia shouted running at Meredith. Meredith braced herself but not in time as Patricia's body slammed into her and knocked her to the floor. Meredith saw stars as her head smacked against the floor. She shook it off and twisted under Patricia who had her pinned down. Her head snapped back as Patricia's fist connected with her jaw. With a snarl Meredith threw her arm up to block Patricia's fist before she could hit her a second time. This knocked the girl on top of her off balance and Meredith used this to shove Patricia off her. She jumped to her feet and seized Patricia in a headlock.
"UGH," she grunted as Patricia raked her nails down Meredith's arm drawing blood. Meredith released her hold and Patricia drove her elbow into Meredith's chest knocking the wind out of her. Patricia broke free and turned around. Before she could hit Meredith again Meredith tackled her to the ground. Blind with rage Meredith slammed her fist into Patricia's face. She was about to hit her again when she was grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground. She heard people talking around her but all she could see was Patricia and the blood pouring from her nose.
"More," Meredith thought. "More pain. She deserves it!" She tried to lunge at the blonde again but the arms around her middle held on tight.
"MEREDITH STOP!" Oliver's voice said loudly in her ear. Meredith struggled against her captor wanting to get at Patricia. Wanting to hurt her, make her bleed. The other girl was being held back by Lee Jordan. She too was fighting to get loose to wreak more damage. Several other students had come into the common room.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" McGonagall's voice boomed. Meredith stopped struggling and collapsed panting against Oliver. McGonagall stood in the middle of the room surveying the scene with shocked fury.
"I have never….in all my years….Miss Lupin….I never….the two of you…." McGonagall was shaking with fury. Meredith, struggling to get her breath back, took a moment to take stock of things. The common room looked like a tornado had swept through it. Several students including Fred, George and Ginny were staring at them in shock. No one could believe that Meredith Lupin, prefect and all around good girl had been involved in a physical altercation, let alone with her best friend. Meredith lifted her hand to her face. Her mouth was bleeding and her left eye was throbbing. No doubt she'd have a nasty bruise tomorrow. The back of her skull felt like it had split open and her arm was bleeding. To her satisfaction she saw that Patricia was not looking much better.
"Explain this!" McGonagall demanded. Meredith shot Patricia a furious look, daring her to speak. It would be just like that little bigot to tell everyone what she knew. How she had found out that their beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was a vicious killer.
"We were," Patricia wheezed, having difficulty speaking after Meredith had crushed her wind pipe, "having a difference of opinion, professor."
'Smarter than I gave you credit for,' Meredith thought.
"And what topic," McGonagall fumed, "could draw such passion that the pair of you were driven to physically attack each other?"
"I'd rather not say," Patricia said scowling at Meredith. What was she playing at? Was this another scheme to get back in her good graces? Well she could keep dreaming.
"You'd rather not say!" McGonagall said in disbelief. She whirled on Meredith.
"Miss Lupin! You of all people…perhaps you would care to explain."
"No," Meredith said meeting Patricia's scowl with daggers of her own. "I don't think I would." McGonagall was beside herself.
"Well then you can explain it to the headmaster," she said. "Mr. Wood, Mr. Jordan I thank you for stepping in. If you wouldn't mind taking a few moments to set the common room back in order?"
"Not at all Professor," Oliver said giving Meredith a sad look. She knew where it came from. He knew what she and Patricia had been fighting about and it must hurt him to see his two friends come to this. She would talk to him later but right now she was still raging inside.
"Miss Lupin, Miss Patterson, you will follow me." They did so without argument. Both girls stared straight ahead as they followed their head of house to the Headmaster's office. Meredith's heart sank as she saw that Dumbledore was not alone. Her father's eyes widened shock at her appearance.
"Meredith what on earth..." Seeing him made the hollow sick feeling that had been in her stomach since seeing that picture in the memory book suddenly come to life. It changed from sick to mad. Why had he not told her? He invaded her mind in front of her entire class to rip out secrets that she had not wanted him know because he wanted her to be honest with him, but had he been honest with her? What else hadn't he told her?
"I believe we would all like to know how the two of you came to be in this state," Dumbledore said.
"They were found fighting in the common room," McGonagall said when neither girl spoke.
"Each other?" Remus said in disbelief. He stared at Meredith who refused to meet his eye.
"Yes," McGonagall said.
"And what spells were they using to have cause this amount of damage to each other?" Dumbledore said thoughtfully. Meredith stared at the floor. She had no doubt that Dumbledore could do Legilimency and she had no intention of letting him see her thoughts.
"Not spells," McGonagall said. "Though that's how it may have started."
"They were fighting with their fists?" Remus asked.
"Going at each other like a pair of wild alley cats," McGonagall said. "Mr. Wood and Mr. Jordan had to pull them apart." Both girls stood like statues as McGonagall gave a description of the state of the two of them and the common room when she had found them.
"I see," Dumbledore said sadly. "And what may I ask would cause two of the brightest young women I know to brawl like enemies when they were once as close as two friends could be." Meredith scoffed at this causing her father to give her a look. Neither girl was willing to offer an explanation.
"Meredith, Patricia," Dumbledore said firmly. "I could very easily look into your eyes and see all that I wish to know, but I would prefer to hear it from you." Both girls glared and finally Patricia spoke.
"I expressed my opinion about Professor Lupin's….condition….and Meredith attacked me."
"I did not," Meredith snapped angrily. "I was angry and I lost control of my temper. I know what happens when I lose my temper and so I warned Patricia to walk away. She didn't and when I made a statue explode near her head she interpreted this as an attack and retaliated. I defended myself and it….escalated from there."
"I see," Dumbledore said sadly sitting down and tapping his fingers together. "As you are both aware, fighting magical or otherwise is not tolerated at Hogwarts. By the description Professor McGonagall has given I would say there is apt ground to expel both of you." Meredith felt sick. Oh, that little backstabbing traitor would just love that. For Meredith to be expelled only weeks from graduation.
"Headmaster," Remus broke in. "I realize that this is a serious matter. I'm as disappointed in these two as anyone but, surely there must be another way to handle this. These two are only weeks from graduating and up till now both of them have never been any serious trouble. I would hate for them to lose their futures. Particularly, as I am somewhat to blame in all of this."
"You are not to blame, Remus," McGonagall said. "Meredith and Patricia are both of age and they should be able to sort out their differences not matter how painful the circumstances." Another day Meredith might have jumped in to absolve her father of his guilt but the way she felt right now she just didn't have it in her to care much about what he was feeling.
"You are not to blame, Remus," McGonagall said. "Meredith and Patricia are both of age and they should be able to sort out their differences not matter how painful the circumstances."
"I agree with Remus," Dumbledore said. "I do not wish to ruin the girls' futures. So there will be no expulsion. However, both of you are under house arrest for the remainder of your stay at Hogwarts. This means that you are to stay in the castle. No trips to Hogsmeade or even wondering the grounds. Also, I will be writing to your parents Patricia. Meredith I will leave to you, Remus."
"Yes sir," both of them said.
"Very well," Dumbledore said. "Now Professor McGonagall if you will escort Miss Patterson to the hospital wing so Madam Pomfrey can tend to her injuries." Meredith might have spoken and said that her injuries were far more severe but her Dad already had his hand on her shoulder and was leading her from the Headmaster's office. She was apparently going to be interrogated before she could receive medical treatment. Even criminals were allowed to have their wounds looked at before they were thrown behind bars. Remus released her shoulder as they entered his chambers.
"Sit," he ordered pointing to a chair. She knew arguing wouldn't do her any good so she sat. Her father spoke not a word as he opened his cabinets and pulled out a few bottles. He took a purple liquid and poured it onto a handkerchief.
"Put that on your eye," he directed. "It will prevent swelling." She did what he said. He took a small bowl and mixed up a brew of essence of mertlap. He set the bowl beside her and she placed her arm in without question.
"So," Remus said. "Tell me." With her good eye she glared at him.
"I have nothing to say," she said. Remus looked taken aback at her sharp tone.
"Meredith," Remus said. "I know there was more to that fight than you simply being angry that Patricia is prejudiced against werewolves. Now I thought we agreed not to keep things from each other." At this Meredith snapped.
"So did I," she shouted flinging the handkerchief away.
"Meredith," Remus said holding out his hands.
"You talk to me about keeping things from you! What about the things you've neglected to tell me?" Her dad looked suddenly alarmed.
"What…things…are you referring to?" he said slowly.
"When exactly were you planning on telling me that Sirius Black was your dear friend when you were in school?" she snapped. It almost seemed as though he were relieved by her question.
"I told you that," he said.
"You told me you knew him. You never said you were best chums. I saw your picture in the memory book from your seventh year. You, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. You were together. He had his arm around you." Remus sighed and turned toward the window. For a long time he stood apparently in deep contemplation.
"You are right," he said. "Sirius and I were friends. Were, being the operative term. The four of us were the best of friends in school. We did everything together. But…I ceased to call him my friend when he betrayed James and Lily. I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to admit how truly wrong I was about him all those years." Meredith thought about it. It made sense she supposed.
"But what does that have to do with you and Patricia trying to rip each other's throats out?" Meredith sighed.
"Ever since she found out…no even before that… she's been making accusations against you. She thinks you've been letting Black into the castle. And when she saw the photo and confirmed what she, what we both suspected…"
"She had me tried and convicted at one glance," Remus said sadly. "And since I was not truthful with you about the nature of my relationship with Sirius…"
"It made me wonder," she admitted. "It made me doubt you. It felt horrible. And the rest as they say is history."
"I'm sorry for that," Remus said. "I'm sorry that predjudice and taken away the best friend you ever had."
"I wonder," Meredith said. "Was she ever my friend at all or was I just a ticket to better grades."
"Now you mustn't think that," Remus said. "I know that Patricia loved you dearly." Meredith scoffed.
"You forget love that I have been inside Patricia's mind. I may have my secrets from her but she has none from me. I'll not go into the particulars as that would breach a promise I made to you all but I can assure you love that no matter what Patricia's thoughts may be now, your friendship meant everything to her."
"I find that very hard to believe right now," she said.
"I know," he said wrapping an arm around her.
"I used to be so certain of so much. Now I just feel like there's nothing I can depend on anymore." Her dad had nothing to say that would make her feel better. He just hugged her.
NEWTs came and went and Meredith faced them alone. She and Patricia were not speaking, Oliver was too distracted weighing different Quidditch offers, and Percy never stopped studying except when he was with Penelope. Whenever she passed Patricia in the hall they pretended they didn't see each other. The physical wounds they'd inflicted on each other were beginning to heal but the emotional ones were still raw and fresh. Misery filled her last days at Hogwarts. How had the four of them grown so far apart? She sat alone at the nearly empty breakfast table stirring her cornflakes, not in the mood to eat. It shouldn't be like this. The four of them used to be inseparable. They should be sitting with her right now, laughing and talking, relieved that NEWTs were over and looking forward to their futures.
She was so distracted she didn't see the snowy white owl that landed in front of her and dropped a letter on her plate, until it nipped her finger. She jumped up suddenly spilling her pumpkin juice all over the table cloth.
"Sorry," she told the owl trying to mop up the mess. She pushed her cornflakes toward the owl and let him snack while she examined her letter. It looked official. She could feel her pulse start to race as she read.
Dear Miss Lupin,
As the chief of healing at Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries it is my honor to congratulate you on graduating from Hogwarts and to invite you to study healing at Saint Mungo's. After reviewing your marks we feel you will make an outstanding addition to our program. Please respond no later than June 1st as to your acceptance of our offer. We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Errol Flanagan
Chief Healer
Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries
Meredith jumped up from the table, all thoughts of food forgotten. She was so overcome with joy she could barely contain herself. She ran from the great hall, oblivious to the curious stares she was receiving from her fellow students. She had to tell her father. She ran all the way to his office and threw open the door.
"Dad!" she called. There was no answer. She hurried up the steps to his room and pounded on the wall.
"Dad," she called again. "You'll never believe what's happened. Oh for heaven sake, raspberry ripple." The wall separated and she hurried inside. Her father was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh where are you," she said. She decided to wait for him. As she went to sit down on the bed she spotted something on the table. Curiousity overtook her and she went to the table. It was a large silver bowl with a silvery liquid swirling in it. She knew what this was. It was a Pensieve. Her father's pensieve. The one he had been using when teaching Occlumency. She thought she could see images floating in it, images of people who looked very familiar. She leaned closer and closer until she suddenly she felt her feet leave the floor and she felt herself falling. She let out a terrified scream as she landed on her feet and fell to her knees. She carefully climbed to her feet and looked around her. She was out on the grounds at Hogwarts. It was late fall, the leaves were all gone from the trees and there was a definite chill in the air. Sitting under a tree she saw a boy about her age who looked very familiar. He didn't see her for his face was buried in a book. Pinned on his Gryffindor robes was a prefect badge. It was the same boy she'd seen in the memory book.
"Dad?" Meredith whispered. Her father didn't notice her there. She knew from her studies she could be neither seen nor heard.
"HEY MOONY!" a voice shouted. Remus looked up and smiled. Meredith turned and saw three boys coming toward them. One boy, who with the exception of his eye color, looked like a seventeen year old version of Harry Potter. James Potter. Pinned to his robes was the Head Boy Badge, the same one that Percy wore now. Behind him was a pudgy boy with a thin nose and bucked teeth. Peter Pettigrew.
"C'mon Moony," the third boy said. "It's Saturday. Let's not waste the time off." Meredith felt a strange shiver go through her. The third boy was easily the most handsome of the three. He was tall and broad shouldered and wore his shoulder length hair in a ponytail. His was like he was in the memory book. Young and unhaunted by 12 years in Azkaban. Sirius Black.
All you do is waste time, Padfoot," her father said. "It's a wonder you ever got to be Head Boy, Prongs." Meredith shook her head. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, she thought. Obviously nicknames for each other. She watched them mess around with each other for a bit. It was familiar somehow. The four of them. With a pang she realized that they reminded her of her and her friends. The way they were before it all went so wrong. She swallowed hard as she watched James and Sirius. The way the teased each other, like friends, but there were deeper feelings they had for each other that she could see beneath their eyes and their smiles. She felt something inside her twist painfully. Was this the man that would one day betray the boy he embraced like a brother now? What could have happened that would change him. What could make him turn on his best friend? Betray him to Voldemort and leave Harry, his godson, an orphan. It didn't seem possible.
"Now there's a lovely sight," James said. Meredith raised an eyebrow as she saw her father's face flush. She turned in the direction they were all looking. Two girls were coming down the lane toward them. Both wore Gryffindor robes, the shorter of the two had auburn hair and the prettiest green eyes. This had to be Harry's mom. Meredith's suspicions were confirmed as Lily plopped down on the grass next to James and kissed his cheek. She noticed her father staring at the other girl a strange look in his eye. It was a kind of longing. She looked at the other girl and felt her heart catch in her throat. She looked just like she had in her photograph. Her hair was a more brilliant red than her own, and her eyes were hazel rather than brown but there could be no doubt in Meredith's mind that she was looking at her mother. Her heart pounded in her chest. She hung back from the group her eyes stared at the ground. There was something sad in her eyes. Meredith's eyes widened in shock as Sirius put his arms around her mother and kissed her.
"Hey Red," he said. Her mother smiled and gazed at him adoringly.
"Hello Black," she said. Meredith's knees were trembling. How could this be? Her mother and Sirius Black. Oh Merlin, she thought quickly doing a calculation in her head. Her mother and her father were in the same year. Her father was only seventeen years older than her. From the chill in the air it had to be around November. She had been born in August. She stared hard at her mother. Tears stung her eyes as she saw her mother's hand gently rubbing her flat stomach and staring with so much love at Sirius Black. Oh Merlin, no. NO! She suddenly felt as though she were being yanked back by an invisible hand. She fell backwards and landed on her backside in her father's room.
"Are you all right," his voice said in front of her. Meredith stared up at him. He stood beside the Pensieve his expression unreadable. Meredith couldn't speak, she could hardly breathe. Remus knelt in front of her and cupped her face.
"Are you all right," he said more urgently. Tears streamed from her eyes as she let out a cry of anguish. Remus wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
"My mother," she cried.
"I'm sorry," Remus said stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to find out this way." Meredith pulled away and wiped her hands across her eyes.
"Sirius Black is my father, isn't he?" Remus hung his head.
"Yes," he said. Meredith bit her lip and tried not to cry again. Sirius Black. The murderer whom the entire wizarding world was hunting. The man who was responsible for Harry's parents death. They'd lied to her. All of them. Remus, Dumbledore, Ted, Andromeda. They'd all lied to her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered. Remus shook his head and stood up.
"How could I tell you," he said leaning against a chair. "You were only a child. I was trying to protect you."
"I'm not a child anymore," she said. "Please Dad. You promised me, no more secrets." Remus sighed and sat down in the chair.
"You're right my dear. You deserve to know everything." Meredith scooted closer to the chair so that she sat at Remus's feet.
"I guess it began with the bite."
"The bite?" Meredith said.
"Yes. The bite from the werewolf. The one that make me like him. A werewolf. My parents were frantic. They thought I'd never be allowed to come to Hogwarts, parents wouldn't want their children going to school with a werewolf. But then Dumbledore became headmaster and he allowed me to come to school as long as precautions were taken."
"Precautions?"
"Yes. The Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. There's a passage under it that leads to the Shrieking Shack. Every month on the full moon Madam Pomfrey would smuggle me out of the castle. I would stay in the shack during my transformation." Meredith remembered the first time she'd stood in front of the shrieking shack. The pain and misery that seems to radiate from it.
"The shack isn't haunted is it? Those screams that the people in Hogsmeade heard were from you."
"Yes. The tranformations were terrible then. What you saw when you were eight was nothing compared to back then. But I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. I loved my classes, and for the first time in my life I had friends. James, Sirius, Peter and I were inseperable. I also became good friends with your mother and her best friend Lily Evans. James and Sirius were the best in our year and it didn't take them long to figure out my secret. Instead of rejecting me as I feared they would they did the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me. They became Animagi." Meredith's eyes widened.
"It took them the greater part of five years to do it but finally they made it work. Peter became a rat, James a stag and Sirius a black dog." Meredith's heart jumped into her throat as she remembered the black dog she had seen outside her window.
"Suddenly such opportunities were open to us. Peter being the smallest was able to crawl through the Whomping Willow and hit the secret notch to make it freeze. Then my friends would slip through the passage and join me in the shack. We went everywhere. James and Sirius were big enough they could keep me from hurting anyone. We learned a lot about the castle. So much that we were able to create this map." He picked up a piece of parchment from his desk. Meredith stared at it, confused.
"It's a blank piece of parchment," she said. Remus smiled and lifted his wand.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Meredith's eyes widened as ink spread across the parchment to form the image of a map of Hogwarts.
"Mssrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs proudly present the Marauders Map." The Marauders. It had said that in the memory book.
"Those were our nicknames for each other. I was Moony, Peter was Wormtail, Sirius was Padfoot, and James was Prongs."
"This is the map that Harry found isn't it?"
"Yes," Remus said. "I should have taken it to Dumbledore when I confiscated it but I didn't. Telling him about the map would mean telling him everything. Admitting that I betrayed his trust, that I led my friends to break the law and become illegal animagi. Perhaps Snape and Patricia are right about me."
"What do Snape and Patricia have to do with any of this?"
"Snape fought hard against my appointment to this position. Ever since we were students he hated me and my friends especially James. Like Patricia he's convinced that I've been helping Sirius get into the castle."
"But you haven't."
"Haven't I? Don't you see Meredith, Sirius must be getting past dementors by using his animagi form. It's the only logical explanation. If he hadn't been friends with me, then he never would have become an animagus and he wouldn't have been able to escape from Azkaban. And look what's happened. Ron Weasley was nearly killed. Harry is still in danger. Black won't stop till he kills Harry."
"Is that why you took the job?" Meredith asked him. "To protect Harry?"
"And you."
"Me? Do you really think Sirius Black would be after me?"
"I don't know what's going through his mind right now. I lost all faith in him the night James and Lily were killed."
"Did my mother know all this?"
"Your mother was a dear friend to me. I could talk to her like I could talk to no one else not even the Marauders. She figured out I was a werewolf even before my friends did. She told Lily of course, the two of them were best friends." Meredith bit her lip. Her mother and her birth father had been best friends with Harry's parents. Ever since she met Harry she'd felt this need to protect him, to look out for him. Did this connection she had now discovered that they shared have anything to do with it?
"I don't know if she knew about the three of them becoming Animagi. Sirius probably told her. The two of them...they were so in love. I felt like a fifth wheel when James and Lily and Sirius and Angela went out together."
"You loved her," Meredith said. "My mother. You were in love with her." Remus looked at her in surprise.
"The way you looked at her in the Pensieve," she said by way of explanation. Remus sighed and ran a hand over his eyes.
"Yes, I loved her. But I couldn't tell her. Because of who I am, what I am. She only loved Sirius. When he betrayed Lily and James, and when he killed Peter and those muggles it broke her heart. She lost her will to live. I was with her when she died. With her last breath she told me about you and begged me to take care of you."
"Is that why you took me in," Meredith asked her spine stiffening. "The last wish of a woman you loved." Remus cupped her chin and tilted her face up so he could look into her eyes.
"At first perhaps. You have to understand Meredith, I had just lost everyone that I cared about. James, Peter, Lily, Sirius. After your mother died there was nothing left for me in this world. Then I was given the greatest gift a man could recieve. You. I didn't know how I was going to take care of you and lord knows it wasn't easy. But damned if I didn't fall in love with you. You gave me back my reason for living. That's why I couldn't tell you that Sirius is your father. It would mean admitting to you and to myself that I'm, not." Meredith stared at him with tears in her eyes.
"But you are," she said. "You are my father. If not by blood then by every way that counts." Remus sighed and looked away from her.
"Look at me," she said. As Remus met her eyes she felt as though their roles had been reversed. As though she were the adult trying to make a child understand something.
"You are my father. You, Remus Lupin. Everything I am, and everything I ever will be is because of you. And that will never change." Remus reached out and stroked her cheek.
"I love you my daughter."
"I love you Daddy." They held each other for a long time before Meredith pulled away.
"Dad, is it possible that Sirius is innocent?" Remus shook his head.
"I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to believe it. But it couldn't have been anyone else. No one else could have told Voldemort where James and Lily were hiding. He was their secret keeper."
"What if he wasn't?" Meredith said. "What if they switched without telling anyone. I mean if everyone knew that Sirius and James were best friends, wouldn't they suspect him to be the secret keeper."
"I imagine so. What are you getting at?"
"Just that if I knew I was a target of the most dangerous wizard in the world, and were going to conceal the secret of where I was hiding inside a person, I wouldn't use the person everyone would expect me to use. I'd use someone no one would expect. If Harry's father was as smart as everyone says..."
"I knew James Potter almost as well as anyone. The only people other than Sirius that James would trust to be secret keeper would be Peter, who is dead, Dumbledore, and me." Suddenly he looked at her with a worried expression.
"You don't think I..."
"Not for a moment," Meredith said quickly. "It's just, the way he and James were together. You could tell that Sirius loved him. I just can't believe that the man who looked at my mother that way could betray his best friend to Voldemort. My father or not I can't believe that Sirius would try to kill his own godson."
"Meredith," Remus said. "I know you don't want to believe it, but you have to look at the facts. When the Aurors arrested Sirius, he didn't even try to deny his guilt. He simply laughed, like a lunatic."
"He was his best friend," Meredith said weakly.
"Even our friends can betray us. Just look at you and Patricia." Meredith felt a little twist in her heart. She supposed he was right, but something inside her just would not let her accept it.
"Better close this up," Remus said picking up the map.
"Some very powerful magic in that thing," Meredith said.
"Yes," Remus said. "I don't know how Harry got a hold of it." He pointed his wand at the map and said "Mischief managed." Meredith suddenly remembered something.
"Fred and George," she said.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Fifth year," she said. "I was on my way to a meeting with McGonagall, in a foul mood because my prefect duties were really taking their toll. I caught Fred and George standing by the one eyed witch statue examining a piece of parchment. They tapped it and said mischief managed when I came by. I didn't think too much of it other than they were getting into trouble which I was already so used to by then. They must have given it to Harry. Probably to help him get into Hogsmeade."
"Very irresponsible of them," Remus grumbled. "Did they even think that they could be putting Harry in danger."
"Knowing Fred and George that's what would have made it fun for them."
"Those two are going to land themselves in serious trouble one of these days."
"I better go," Meredith said standing up. "Madam Pomfrey wants me to come in to redress the bandages on my arm."
"What did you want to see me about in the first place?" Remus asked.
"Oh," Meredith said. In all that had just happened she'd completely forgotten about St Mungoes. She pulled the letter from her pocket and handed it to him.
"Seems silly now," she muttered.
"Silly?" Remus said after reading the letter. "Meredith this is wonderful news." He grabbed her into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you love."
"Thank you," she said. "It's what I've wanted since second year."
"You're going to make a wonderful healer."
"I hope so."
"I know so." Meredith smiled a little.