Chapter 58

Not since stepping onto platform 9 ¾ had Meredith felt so nervous. She sat on a bench with nineteen other young men and women waiting to be fitted for her new healer robes. She glanced around her. The group consisted of twelve wizards and eight witches. They were from all different countries. The little witch with dark skin and long black hair who sat beside her had asked her in very broken English where the loo was spoke with a very heavy Indian accent. The large man who stood in front of her with straw colored hair, well she wasn't quite sure what he had said to her but his accent hinted at a Scandinavian heritage.

"Healer Lupin," the short and stocky woman with gray hair and a heavy Cockney accent called. Meredith felt a small thrill as she heard her name following the word 'Healer'. She stood up and went to the curtained off area where the other Healers in Training had gone.

"Arms out," the woman said in a no-nonsense voice. Meredith held out her arms while the woman measured her. She stretched the tape measure across Meredith's shoulders, around her chest, waist and hips, and from her shoulder to her ankle. The woman noted the measurements on her clipboard and the pulled the parchment loose. She gave the parchment a tap with her wand and it changed into a long set of pale green robes. Another tap and they duplicated themselves once, and then again.

"White or Black sneakers with 'em," the lady said waving the wand over her robes so that they folded themselves into a neat stack.

"Keep yer hair tied back and out of yer eyes." She handed the folded robes to Meredith.

"Four sets," She said. "When they get too soiled stick them in the hamper and they'll be cleaned for ya."

"Thank you ma'am," Meredith said.

"Run off to the locker room and change. Lock the spares up in yer cubby." Meredith nodded and took her robes off to the locker room. It was deceptively large. Rows upon rows of cubbies for each healer, and healer in training in the hospital stood in the middle. A long row of sinks lined the left wall while the showers lined the other. She found her cubby in the back and tapped it twice with her wand. The cubby swung open and she placed the extra robes inside. They immediately unfolded and hung suspended from a line she couldn't see. She glanced around quickly. She was alone for the moment. She took off her shoes and placed them in the cubby. She removed her sweater and folded it. Just as she had pulled off her jeans she heard the locker room door open. She grabbed her robes quickly and threw them on. She glanced around the corner and saw a man in dark green healer robes opening a cubby. Her eyes widened as he shrugged off his robes. She could only see the back of him but she could tell he had a very sculpted physique. He paused and started to turn and she quickly ducked back behind the lockers. She stayed quiet until she heard him leave. She shook her head and closed up her cubby. She stepped over to them mirror and took a look. She smiled at the image.

"They suit you," a timid voice said behind him. She turned and saw the girl with the dark hair and Indian accent.

"Don't know they'll do as well on me," she said with a shrug. "Parminda Ganesh."

"Meredith Lupin," Meredith said holding out her hand. Parminda shook her hand.

"You're Hogwarts right?" Parminda asked.

"Yes," Meredith said. "How did you know?"

"I asked about," Parminda said. "I like to know about people I'm going to be working with. You and I are assigned to Healer Rosenbaum along with Healer Stein. Don't know which one he is." Healer Ganesh had done her homework, Meredith thought. Interesting.

"I guess I'll see you in orientation," Meredith said leaving the girl to change. As she walked she magiced her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. She read the signs trying to find procedure room 17.

"Down the hall to your left," a deep voice with a German accent. Meredith's face flushed as she realized it was the man she'd been all but ogling in the locker room earlier. Up close and from the front she saw that he was even more handsome than she'd thought. His reddish brown hair was cut short in a crew cut. His black eyes seemed to be looking her over in skepticism. He wore the dark green healer robes of a Healer in Charge so she knew she better show him respect.

"Thank you," she said. He nodded and she hurried away. She found procedure room 17 easy enough. Parminda slipped in a few minutes before 8 o'clock. At 8 o'clock precisely the outer door to the room opened and a tall man in dark green robes entered followed by four men and three women in similar green robes. The Healer she'd seen in the locker room was amongst them. Following behind them were ten other healers in robes in the same pale green as the healers in training. The man who stood at head of them all looked to be in his late seventies at least. His had a look of dignity about him with his silver hair neatly combed and his mustache neatly trimmed.

"Good morning," he greeted them bringing everyone's attention the front of the room.

"Welcome to St. Mungoes Hospital. I am Chief Healer Flanagan. You have all come her from different parts of the world. Each of you has been invited here to study medicine because you are the best and the brightest in your schools. Here at St. Mungoes each of you starts out as a student. You are all stating out at the beginning once again. Your studies will last four years before you will obtain full Healer status. At St. Mungoes we teach by three principles. See it, do it, teach it. In your first year you will be assigned to a third year Healer in Training. These ladies and gentlemen…"he gestured to the people in pale green robes… "will be your instructors as well as your supervisors. In your second year you will begin to practice that which you have seen done in your first year. Third year you will each have your own students to teach, and pass on what you have learned. In your fourth year it is expected that you will have chosen your specialty in one of our seven areas of study. Each of the men and women in the dark green robes you see behind me is the head of their department." Each of the heads stepped forward and introduced themselves. Hilda Galavez, a stout woman with her coal black hair hanging in a long braid down her back was head of Artifact Accidents; Jedidiah Smethwyck, a tall pale man was head of Creature Induced Injuries; Toulouse La Beghe, a dark haired skinny man with a pencil thin mustache was head of Magical Bugs; Henry O'Bannon a plump man with white hair sticking out in all directions was head of Potion and Plant Poisoning; Astrid Burnbach, a tall svelte witch with gold hair in a tight bun was head of spell damage and Ethyl Trumple was head of the maternity ward. Meredith sucked in her breath as the man from the locker room stepped forward.

"David Neiman," he stated. "Head of trauma and first response. Those coming to my department must be able to think ten steps ahead and act quickly. We are the first people that those who are seriously injured or dangerously ill see. My department is not for the squeamish." He stepped back. Meredith felt she could have been imagining it but Nieman seemed to have shot her a challenging look with those words.

Meredith stared out of the window of the train. Muggle transportation, she had found was the simplest way to get from home to the hospital. Healer Rosenbaum had recommended it when she found out that Meredith could not apparate and was not all that comfortable on brooms. The hospital did not have a connection to the floo network. It was too unsanitary. Meredith was somewhat familiar with the London subway. She had ridden on it a few times when she was a child and with Uncle Teddy. It wasn't a bad way too travel and much safer, she felt, than a broom. She'd been at St. Mungoes two weeks and her whole body ached. Each shift started early and lasted 36 hours. Most HIT's-what she had come to know was the name for healer's in training-did not go home between shifts and opted to grab a few hours of sleep in the on call rooms, small closets big enough only for two bunks. Not all that comfortable but when you were bone tired they did the trick. The train pulled into the station and came to a stop. Meredith stood, feeling her back pop as she did. Tomorrow was Healer Rosenbaum's day off therefore her HIT's also took the day off. Lord, all she wanted right now was a cup of tea, a hot shower and a long sleep in her own bed. She hadn't been home in two weeks. Two weeks running around, on her feet all day, standing until her back, her legs, her entire body felt like it was going to collapse on her. She loved every minute of it. Healer Rosenbaum, a big woman who looked like she spent her weekends wrestling trolls, was very wise but did not take any grief from her HIT's or anyone in the hospital for that matter. Even Chief Healer Flanagan didn't give her grief. Rosenbaum's other HITs were Parminda and Enuk Stein, a large man who came from Oslo. It was fortunate that neither she nor Parminda were very big because they would not fit in the same room and Rosenbaum and Enuk. She was learning so much. Rosenbaum had been very impressed with how much she knew already. Parminda and Enuk were both muggleborns and they were both strangers to Britain. They seemed to cleave onto Meredith and let her take the lead in many things. She left the train and climbed the stairs up to the street. It was very early morning and the sun was just starting to come up. It was a short walk from the station to her house. It was still summer so it was not a difficult journey. When winter came it would be little more challenging but she'd deal with that when the time came. She had considered finding a place of her own after graduating, but she really couldn't find a good enough reason. It was close enough to the hospital to be convenient and if she were honest she didn't like the idea of being away from her Dad. He'd been a bit glum since resigning from Hogwarts. He'd been working the night shift at a muggle grocery store, stocking shelves ever since. Such a waste. Dumbledore, she knew, had written several times asking him to reconsider and come back and teach. But he wouldn't. Too dangerous he said. Stubborn.

She walked up the drive, pulling her wand from her where it had been tucked into her shoulder bag.

"Lumos," she whispered casting her light at the front door. There on the stoop sat the dog she had seen so many times in her nightmares. She smiled. She knew he would come back some day. He jumped to his feet and his tail wagged as approached. She unlocked the door and opened it so he could go inside. She stepped in after him and locked the door behind her. She moved around the house quickly drawing all the drapes. Once they were closed she turned and saw that the dog had turned into a man. He looked much better than he had the last time she had seen him. His clothes and hair were cleaner and his eyes, her eyes, were brighter. She shifted a bit under his stare. She cleared her throat and went to the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him.

"Starving," he said.

"Sit, please and I'll fix you something," she said. She pulled a large pot from the cupboard and set it on the stove. She gave her wand a wave and the makings for vegetable soup flew from the pantry and the knives began to cut them up. While the soup cooked she put a kettle of water next to the pot to make a cup of tea. All the while she was very aware of the man sitting at the table watching her. Once the food was ready she took a bowl and poured it in. She set the stove on simmer to keep it warm for Dad…Remus…when he came home. She added a piece of bread and poured them both a cup of team. She floated the soup and bread over the Sirius. Sirius wasted no time digging into the food. He ate like a man half starved, which to be honest he was. Meredith brought both cups of tea over and sat down. She didn't say anything but only sipped at her tea trying to steady her nerves.

"Thank you," Sirius said as she swallowed the last crumb. "That's the best meal I've had in twelve years."

"No problem," she said her eyes on her lap. They were silent for a moment.

'Talk to him!' she snapped at herself. So many questions were buzzing around in her head but she could not make the words form.

"So what have you been up to since graduation?" he asked her. Meredith ran her finger over the brim of her cup.

"I've been working mostly, I'm a Healer in Training now. We don't get to come home much." His eyes seemed to get misty but he collected himself.

"I've been keeping a watch on the house," he said. "Been so quiet, I thought maybe I'd come to the wrong place."

"How did you know where we live?"

"Dumbledore," he said. "He wrote me shortly after you and Harry helped me escape. He told me about Remus resigning. Damn fool."

"Wasn't for lack of trying to convince him not to," Meredith said. "For myself, Dumbledore or Harry." He nodded and gazed at her.

"You look so much like your mother," Sirius said. Meredith looked up at his words.

"Except for your eyes," he said wistfully. "They're….:

"They're your eyes," Meredith finished. "Yes, I've been told." Sirius nodded. Meredith swallowed hard.

"I have so many things I want to ask you," she said. Sirius looked at her, kindness showing in his face.

"You can ask me anything my dear," he said. Meredith took a sip of her tea which was now cold and took a deep breath.

"Why did you and my mother….why did you give me up?" Sirius looked away from her for a moment a wave of sadness washing over his face.

"You must understand something, Meredith. You were born in the darkest of times. Voldemort was growing in power, gaining more and more followers. Many students, my classmates, people I had known for years were joining him. My brother Regulus and my cousin Bellatrix were just a few. You didn't know who you could trust, who might be a spy. We were only seventeen, your age. Just barely adults but that didn't matter to the dark lord. 'Recruit 'em young' was his philosophy. He had tried on more than one occasion to get James and I on his side. We were just what he was looking for. Pure bloods, powerful, influential families. But we wanted nothing to do with him. To stand against the Dark Lord was to sign your own death sentence. Your mother was nine months pregnant with you when Voldemort made his first attempt on our lives. We were going to James's parents house for dinner after a long day of Auror training. We found the dark mark over the house and knew what it meant. Inside we found James's parents murdered, and ten death eaters waiting for us. We might not have made it out of there alive if not for the timely arrival of Dumbledore and Lily. That was when I knew, that we had to give you up. If anyone knew you were my child, you would have been in terrible danger. So, as much as it pained your mother and I, we gave you up. To protect you." Scalding tears burned their way down Meredith's cheeks as she listened to her father's story.

"Did you…" She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and tried to blink the tears away.

"Did you love me?" she whispered. Sirius moved from his chair and knelt in front of her. He reached out to her and cupped her face.

"My darling girl," Sirius said his voice cracking. "I have loved you all your life. The day you were born I held you in my arms and I was lost. You were a light in the dark shining so brightly. All that time in Azkaban, when every happy memory and cheerful thought was sucked out of me, you were the one thought I clung to. The happy memory that kept me sane while everyone else around me went mad. Believe me my child, giving you up was the most painful thing I have ever had to do."

"It was you wasn't it, outside the orphanage that day?" she asked.

"Yes," Sirius said smiling a little. "I couldn't resist the urge to see you. I had to make sure you were all right. I wanted to leap over that fence and steal you away when I saw how that fat cow treated you."

"Eunice," Meredith said with a little chuckle.

"I went straight to your mother, told her we couldn't leave you there. She calmed me down, as she always did when I was on a rant. She made me realize that you were safer where you were and I had to admit she was right. But I insisted that once the war was over, we had to get you out of there, bring you home with us. We decided to name Remus your guardian in case something happened to us. I wanted it to be James. I had suspicions about Remus at the time."

"Is that why you didn't tell him about the switch?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Sirius said. "To my shame. Twelve years is a long time to think about a mistake." Meredith reached out and took his large hand in both of hers. Sirius looked up and met her eyes.

"Your mother insisted that it had to be Remus. "He will love her as his own Sirius. I just know it." She was right. You didn't see me, but I was there on platform 9 ¾ when you boarded the train back in September. I knew you in an instant. When I saw Remus with you, and the way you two were together, I knew that Angela and I had made the right choice." Meredith looked away, unable to meet his gaze for a moment. She knew now that she had always been loved. By both her parents. But it did not change the way she felt toward the man who had raised her.

"Meredith," Sirius said taking her hands. "I know that you will always look upon Remus as your father. I would never try to take his place in your heart. I only wonder if you can find a place there for me as well." Meredith's took a deep breath and gazed at him. He was staring back at her with love, but more than anything with hope.

"I think that I can," Meredith said.

They talked for hours. He told her how he had met her mother and all the hijinks he used to get up to with the Marauders. She told him of her childhood and her days at Hogwarts. He was sympathetic when she told him about Patricia and how much her betrayal still hurt. She told him about Oliver and Percy and the new people she was meeting at St. Mungoes. They were still in the kitchen when Remus arrived home.

"My goodness," he said when he saw the two of them. "Breaking laws of time travel, aiding a dangerous criminal in evading the authorities and now harboring a fugitive? Really Sirius I've tried so hard to keep her out of jail."

"What can I tell you Remus?" Sirius said. "She was born of a marauder, raised by a marauder, what could any of us do really?" Remus smiled and kissed the top of Meredith's head.

"Hello stranger," he said. "It that vegetable soup I smell?"

"On the stove," Meredith said standing up. "Well I'm exhausted. I'm think I'm going to go get a few hours of sleep. Do you plan on staying a while?" She directed her last question to Sirius.

"I would like to," Sirius said. "Provided Remus doesn't mind harboring a fugitive." He tossed a lazy grin Remus's way.

"You're always here Padfoot," Remus said.

"Good," Meredith said. "Now that's settled I'm off to bed."

"Have a good sleep love," Remus said. "She's amazing," Sirius said, wistfully. Remus smiled.

"Yes she is," Remus said.

"She's so mature for her age," Sirius said. "You've obviously taken very good care of her." Remus smiled.

"She's taken just as good a care of me," Remus said. "Taking care of a sick werewolf does make a child grow up fast. I can't believe you and Angela never told us about her." Sirius sighed.

"I wanted to so many times," Sirius said resting his forehead against his fingertips.

"But I just couldn't risk telling anyone. Not even James and Lily knew about her. It was so hard keeping her a secret. So hard. It got painful for Angela and I to be together, always a reminder."

"Is that why you never married?" Remus asked.

"She didn't want to. She was scared to have more children. With Voldemort out for my blood and so many of my family joining him I was afraid they would go after Angela we kept things as they were. Those were the most painful years Remus."

"I can imagine," Remus said.

"It got a little better when Harry came along. I had a family again. I got to feel like a father again."

"Angela loved you to the end," Remus said. "She never believed you were guilty."

"You were with her when she died?" Sirius said softly.

"Yes," Remus said. "She swore you were innocent to the last. She told me about Meredith, and begged me to raise her. I didn't know how I was going to do it. I still don't know if I did everything for her that I should have."

"You did everything right," Sirius said. "It's obvious just looking at Meredith that you raised her right."

"She has a lot of you in her," Remus said. Sirius grinned.

"Can't fault me for feeling proud of that. But Angela knew what she was doing when she gave Meredith to you. She knew you would love our little girl. After all, how could the man who was so in love with Meredith's mother not love that little girl." Remus smiled wryly.

"You knew," he said.

"Of course," Sirius said. "Keeping your emotions hidden was never your strong suit Moony."

"You never said anything."

"Only because you didn't. Let's face it Moony, we were two men in love with the same woman. Angela was just a woman in love with two men."

"She chose you," Remus said.

"Only cause you never made a move."

"You resent me Padfoot?"

"Of course not," Sirius said. "Why would I?"

"Meredith," Remus said.

"I could never resent you for that, Moony. You raised my little girl right. She's smart, and brave, and she can take care of herself. You've done an amazing job with her Moony, and I'll be forever in your debt for it."

"No Sirius," Remus said. "It's I who am in your debt. If not for that lovely girl, I wouldn't have had much reason to go on after losing you, and James, and Lily and Angela."

"She's a ray of hope for both of us," Sirius said. "But it's you she sees as her father. That's not going to change."

"She'll have both of us," Remus said. "For as long as she needs us."