Chapter 70
To my readers: Be warned the story will be veering off canon going forward. If this bothers you turn back now and do not proceed.
Meredith did not return to Grimmauld Place for several weeks. Her argument with Sirius was still too fresh. She had tried to be patient with the man. She'd tried to be understanding of his feelings of helplessness as there seemed to be nothing he could do to help the Order. Hell, she'd even told off Snape for mocking Sirius when he'd come back from a face to face meeting with Voldemort, risking his life, while Sirius stayed safely tucked away at Headquarters. But the thought that she was somehow lacking in her father's eyes, just hurt too much. To top it all off, Bode was no closer to coming out of his stupor than he had been before. Meredith was frustrated and she was running out of reasons to be on the Spell Damage ward. Healers Burnbach and Dawson had never said anything but Meredith sensed they were starting to think her a nuisance.
"My goodness," Healer Burnbach greeted her. "Mr. Bode is certainly lucky to be getting all this attention." Meredith ducked her head. She'd been trying to coax Bode into remembering something that had happened the night he was cursed but the man just stared at her glassy eyed.
"Just can't let it go, I'm afraid," Meredith said trying to sound non-chalant.
"Perfectly all right. Goodness knows most of our residents up here don't get visitors. Their families have given up on them. Some have no one at all to care. Mr. Bode and the Longbottoms over there are some of the lucky few." At the name Longbottom Meredith turned her head. Over in the corner Healer Dawson sat in a rocking chair reading the paper. The woman in the bed beside her stared blankly at the ceiling. Her long hair was stark white. The man in the bed next to her also had stark white hair. He appeared to be asleep. Meredith's heart was heavy as she realized these were Neville's parents.
"Sad case," Burnbach said noticing Meredith's staring. Meredith quickly looked away.
"Their son comes to visit on holidays with his Grandmother. Sweet boy. Always so hopeful that they'll be some spark that his parents remember him. But, alas, he always leaves disappointed." Meredith felt a lump in her throat as she thought of the sweet clumsy pudgy boy she'd known at Hogwarts.
All of a sudden Alice began to shriek! Her arms flailed and Healer Burnbach rushed to her side.
"Now now Alice calm down!" Meredith stepped over to lend her assistance in restraining the flailing woman. She was staring at Meredith with wide bulging eyes as she gasped.
"Calm yourself Alice," Burnbach said in a firm but gentle voice. "What's got you all riled then?" Alice yanked her arm out of Meredith's grasp and pointed a shaking hand toward Healer Dawson.
"Me?" Healer Dawson snapped indignantly.
"I weren't doing nothing! Just reading me paper and minding me business sure as you please!" Meredith's blood turned to ice as she saw the article that covered the front page.
Breakout at Azkaban! Known murderer at Large!
Under the headline was a picture of a woman. Her hair was black and long and wild around her face. Her eyes were hooded with a look of insanity in them.
Bellatrix Lestrange.
"It's an outrage!"
"How the Hell can Fudge ignore this?!"
"Dumbledore warned him this would happen!"
"The man's going to get us all killed"
Meredith remained silent as the Order Members shouted amongst themselves. Everyone had been summoned once the news of Bellatrix Lestrange's escape from Azkaban had become public knowledge. The magical community, as expected, had demanded answers of Fudge. Fudge had responded to the public outcry stating this was an isolated incident, the dementors were in full control at Azkaban and that Sirius Black was suspected of aiding his cousin Bellatrix in escaping, having been the only prisoner to have ever achieved such a feat. Auntie Andromeda had been summoned to the Ministry for questioning regarding the whereabouts of her sister. Dora was so furious about this she had had to be restrained to keep from attacking the Aurors who had come to bring Andromeda in. The fact that Narcissa Malfoy had not been questioned only added fuel to Dora's rage.
"Never mind that Lucius is a known Death Eater. Never mind that Mum was cast out of the family for marrying Dad. Nevermind that Mum has made it clear time and again that she detests Bellatrix." Dora was muttering next to her. Meredith gripped her friends shoulder. She too was angry that Andromeda had to go through this but flying off the handle wasn't going to help matters. The shouting ceased as Dumbledore entered the room followed by Professor McGonagall and Snape. Dumbledore looked about a thousand years old.
"I am embarrassed to admit I did not see this coming so soon. This is a bold move by the dark lord. We must be even more diligent, and even more cautious than before."
"Have the dementors joined Voldemort?" Arthur voiced everyone's worst fear.
"I don't know anything for certain. I know that getting them on his side is part of his grand plan. Whether or not they have actually turned against the ministry I cannot say." The head master paused as Ted entered the parlor, his arm securely around a pale and frazzled looking Andromeda. Dora hurried to her mother's side and together they helped her to a chair. Dumbledore stood before Andromeda and took her hands.
"My dear Andromeda," he said softly. "Are you all right?" Andromeda nodded shakily. Meredith stepped behind the chair and laid her and on her Aunt's shoulder. Andromeda squeezed her hand gratefully. It hurt Meredith's heart to see the woman who'd been the closest thing she'd had to a mother as a child like this. Auntie Andromeda had always been such a strong woman, steady, unshakeable. To see her like this now was almost as demoralizing as seeing her home burnt to cinders.
"They questioned me for hours," Andromeda started. "Scrimgeour, then Dawlish, then Thicknesse, finally Fudge himself trying to get me to fess up that I know where Bellatrix is hiding. That I may be sheltering her."
"Ridiculous," Dora snapped. Andromeda lay a hand on her daughter's arm.
"They know that Sirius and I were close growing up," Andromeda said. "Sirius is the only one whose ever managed to escape from Azkaban…."
"And they're just choosing to ignore the fact that the last time Bellatrix and I were in each other's presence we nearly killed each other…" Sirius muttered.
"And then you went to prison for killing Peter and betraying James and Lily," Ted said. "I hate to say it Sirius, but your reputation is hardly white as snow."
"And if I'd been hiding my true loyalties under a mask of hatred why couldn't Meda," Sirius said. "Yes, it seems I've wrapped it all up with a big bow for Fudge."
"For now I've been cleared, but I wouldn't put it past them to have me under surveillance," Andromeda said. "Albus, the best thing I can do for the Order right now is to keep my distance."
"No!" Dora said. "Mum, you can't let them do that to you. The order needs you."
"I've been suspended from the Prophet," Andromeda said. A ripple of shock and anger went through the room.
"My boss said it was best if I take a break while this mess gets sorted out."
"Fudge," Dora said through gritted teeth.
"I'm no use to the order right now," Andromeda said. "I'll only be a liability and there is just too much at stake."
"So what are you going to do Mum?" Dora said. "Crawl into a hole in the ground?"
"I will not accept your withdrawal from the Order Andromeda," Dumbledore said firmly. "Regardless of your suspension you are an invaluable member of this order. This doubt you have right now is exactly what Voldemort wants. He wants his enemies cut off and alone. I will not allow that to happen." Andromeda managed a weak smile.
"Thank you sir," she said.
"What you need now is rest," Meredith said in her Healer voice. "Dora." Dora nodded and helped her mother to her feet and took her upstairs. Meredith went to the kitchen and pulled out a pan to fill with water. She pulled open a cabinet and dug through the various items that Molly had stashed up there. Molly kept a fairly wide assortment of herbs here at headquarters. She found the ingredients she was looking for and set them out on the counter.
"What's all this?" she glanced up at Sirius.
"Chamomile, lavender, valerian root, and peppermint." She gathered the leaves into a small bag and set it in a cup. She pulled her wand from her pocket.
"Incendiar," she said and the water bubbled and began to steam. Once the steam had reached six inches she took the pot and poured the water into the cup. She glanced at her watch to time four minutes.
"For sleep, and reducing stress and anxiety," she said. Sirius nodded.
"She'll appreciate it," he said. He looked like he wanted to say more but Meredith took the cup and left the kitchen. She hurried upstairs to Dora's room. She could hear Andromeda and Tonks talking inside. Arguing more like it. She knocked lightly on the door and poked her head in.
"Come in Meredith," Dora said. "Maybe you can convince her to get some rest."
"I told you I'm fine," Andromeda argued.
"Of course you are," Meredith said. "I brought you some tea." Andromeda took the cup warily.
"What did you put in it? Sleeping powder?" Meredith laughed.
"You know that only really exists in muggle tales right?" Andromeda blushed.
"Of course," she said taking a sip. "I'm being silly, this has been such a hard day." Meredith smiled and patted her hand.
"I know." They sat and chatted for a bit about non-important things. Meredith was watching her Aunt carefully as she sipped the tea. The herbs were working as Andromeda's eyes started to look heavy.
"Oh dear," she said as she nearly nodded off. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."
"Of course you are," Dora said taking the cup from her. "Here Mum, have a lie down." Meredith fetched a blanket as Dora took her mother's shoes off.
"Well just for a few minutes," Andromeda said closing her eyes. Dora looked close and smiled.
"Out like a light," she whispered. She snuffed the candle and Meredith spread the blanket over her aunt. They left the room and closed the door behind them.
"Just what was in that tea?" Dora asked. Meredith just smiled.
After supper Meredith went to her room and found what looked like a Hogwarts owl sitting patiently on her bed frame. She took the letter it held in its beak and tossed it a few treats from Bianca's dish. It was from Hermione.
"Dear Meredith,
I hope this finds you safe and well. This recent escape from Azkaban has everyone at Hogwarts on edge, even the professors. Well, most of them anyway. I guess the only good thing to come from this is that the DA has doubled its resolve. Everyone is doubling their efforts to learn the spells that Harry is teaching. I see it most in Neville of all people…
Meredith paused and thought of Frank and Alice. Tortured into insanity, unable to recognize their own son. And now the woman responsible was out of prison. Her heart twisted for Neville.
"Harry is furious that Fudge is trying to pin all this on Sirius. I'm scared Meredith. I'm truly scared that Fudge is going to get us all killed if he doesn't face the truth about you know….Voldemort.
Please, if there's any advice you can give. I don't know what more we can do.
Please write back soon
Your friend, Hermione"
Meredith laid the letter down and rubbed her temples. She grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote out a reply.
"Hermione,
Dumbledore is worried. The Dementors may join Voldemort soon. Tell Harry to teach the Patronus Charm
Meredith"
It was short simple and to the point. Meredith wished she could add more words of encouragement but she had none to offer. She folded up the letter and whistled for Bianca. Her loyal owl hopped over to her.
"Take this to Hermione," she said. Bianca stuck out her leg obediently. Meredith gave her head a long stroke then set her on her way. As her owls wings grew smaller and smaller in the darkness Meredith stared up at the sky. There were no stars to hold back the black this night. The dark clouds that rolled around the sky reminded her too much of Dementors. She shuddered, remembering the cold grasp as a dementor had lowered its hood, about to… She jumped back from the window, shaking her head. She seized her cloak and pulled it around her. She went downstairs and opened the door. Her wand was in her hand even as her other held the cloak closed. She kept walking until she reached to entrance to St. Mungoes.
"Healer in Training Meredith Lupin," she said to the doors. They opened and allowed her to enter. She gave a short wave to the night shift desk clerk and headed to the lift. She rode to the fifth floor. The night shift assistant gave her a nod, used to her presence, but it wasn't to Bode's bedside she walked this time. They kept the wing dark at night, to encourage the patients to sleep, but she could already see that Alice was awake. Her eyes were searching around, for what Meredith could not fathom. She was calm now, most likely sedated. She did not look as Meredith took the seat by her side.
"Hello Alice," she said softly. The woman's eyes continued to dart around but Meredith just kept speaking. "We haven't been introduced. My name is Meredith. Meredith Lupin. I'm a second year Healer in Training here. I've heard a great deal about you from my father. He said you were one of the bravest women he ever knew." Alice did not look at her but her eyes had paused and looked straight ahead.
"I was at Hogwarts with your son," Meredith continued. "He's a good kid, Neville. A bit shy and clumsy, but there's a strength in him. You have to look very hard to see it but it's there. I think it's in the darkest of times that a person's true character shows. I think before this is over Neville will surprise all of us with how strong he truly is." She glanced down and found Alice's eyes were staring right up at her with the slightest hint of tears. Meredith sat with Alice till the woman fell into a calm sleep. She stood and stretched her back which had gone stiff from sitting so long. A glance at the clock said it was a little past 3am. Her shift started in 3 hours. Rather than go home she decided to just get a few hours of sleep in one of the on call rooms. She twisted the dial on her watch to set an alarm for 3 hours.
It seemed as though she had just laid down when she felt her watch beep. She rose from the bed and headed for the locker room. After a quick shower she pulled a pair of fresh robes from her locker. As she was dressing she heard two female voices entering.
"I can't take these night shifts anymore," one said. Meredith smirked. First years obviously.
"This will be mine and Barney's fourth breakfast date this month."
"I thought you stopped seeing him."
"No, mum wants me too but I told her to bugger off."
"Oh Cornelia, you're terrible."
"Oh please Ruby, if it were up to mum I wouldn't leave the house anymore. She's been in a complete tizzy since that woman escaped from Azkaban."
"I heard she killed almost as many muggles as You Know Who. You're mum may be right."
"Please, it was muggles and muggleborns that lunatic goes after. She's not gonna be after a pure blood like me."
"That couple what was brought in this morning, they was muggleborn and quite big names round the ministry from what I heard. Just the type Lestrange would be after." At this Meredith perked her ears up. This was the sort of thing Dumbledore had wanted her to be on the lookout for.
"Eh, you know what them officials said. Their daughter went a little heavy on the firewhiskey and went berserkers on them."
"It was the cruciatus curse they said," Ruby said. "Lestrange was famous for using it on Muggleborns." The two first year healers voices drifted off and Meredith quickly finished dressing and headed down to trauma. She could see David standing with two men who appeared to be aurors, though she didn't recognize either of them.
"Thank you, gentlemen," David said sounding tired. "We'll take it from here." Once the aurors had departed Meredith walked carefully to David's side.
"I heard there were two new patients last night." David nodded sadly.
"Husband and wife," he said. "The Cruciatus curse no doubt. They won't be able to tell us much." Over David's shoulder Meredith could see two people being lifted on stretchers.
"Damn shame," David said. "Tortured into insanity by their own daughter." Meredith bit her lip. Everyone was saying it was the couple's daughter but there was just something fishy about it. As the stretcher passed her the woman's hand fell from its position and dangled at the side. Meredith stepped forward and took the woman's hand to lift it back up on the stretcher. Her breath caught in her throat as her eye caught the ring on the woman's finger. She had seen one like it before. Its owner had claimed there were no others like it. It had been a family heirloom. Meredith stared into the woman's face. The once honey blonde hair that had always been perfectly styled was pure white and loose around the woman's head. The once deep blue eyes stared at nothing. They were empty, void of awareness.
"Oh Merlin!" she cried.
"Meredith," David said standing beside her.
"The Pattersons," she said in shock. "It's the Pattersons." David glanced at the chart in his hands.
"George and Julianna Patterson," he read. "You knew them?"
"I went to school with their daughter. We were….Where is she? Where's their daughter. Patricia Patterson where is she?" David pursed his lips.
"This Patricia was a friend?"
"We were…close once. She didn't do this. She wouldn't do this to her parents. I know her. She's not a criminal."
"Meredith," David said slowly.
"They've arrested her already, haven't they? Where have they taken her? I need to see her. I can vouch for her. There are tests, tests to prove that she didn't do this. Or that she didn't do it on her own desire. She was under a spell, she had to have been. The Imperious curse. There's a test for that."
"Meredith," David said louder. "They haven't arrested her. Patricia's here." Meredith let out a breath.
"She's here," she said. "Where is she? I need to see her." The look David gave her made Meredith's blood run cold.
"David?"
"Meredith. Patricia's dead."
She had been to this floor only once. She had hated it then, and she hated it more now. It was so cold down here. Cold, dark, and too quiet.
"You don't have to do this," David said for what felt like the 100th time.
"Yes, I do," she said.
"Her body has already been identified. You don't need to do this."
"I need to see her," she said. She had to know for certain. The lift came to a stop and opened to the morgue. David led her to the vault where, Geoffrey the man who was in charge down here, sat at his desk.
"Healer Nieman," the grizzled old man said standing. "This is highly irregular." She had never liked Geoffrey. He reminded her to much of Filch.
"Patricia Patterson," David said. "Please." Geoffrey gave Meredith a small scowl before standing. He moved over to the vault and opened the door pulling the slab out. Meredith's throat tightened. The body on the slab was covered.
"You can still turn away," David said. No, she couldn't.
"Show me," she said her voice flat and devoid of all emotion. Geoffrey shot a look at David who gave a defeated nod. Meredith's fists tightened at the side as Geoffrey pulled back the sheet to reveal the young woman's face. She swallowed hard as the long blonde hair appeared. She nearly threw up when she saw the face of the girl who she had once called her best friend and blood sister. There were no marks on her face or her body. No signs of violence or struggle. Meredith felt numb. This didn't feel real.
"Shame when it takes 'em so young," Geoffrey said. "I've seen it a hundred times. Just a nip at supper. Then a draught before bedtime. Medicinal purposes they say. Think they've it all under control and then…."
"You think she died from alcoholism?" Meredith snapped.
"No other explanation," Geoffrey said. "All the signs are there. The yellow tinge round the eyes. The pallor in the face. No doubt this one was slugging down the firewhiskey regular like."
"Her blood alcohol was on the high side, Meredith," David said gently. "I have to agree with Geoffrey's results."
"The results are wrong!" Meredith snapped.
"Meredith," David said. "I understand this is difficult for you…"
"Don't patronize me David. This was not alcoholism. This was the killing curse."
"There's no evidence…."
"The killing curse leaves no evidence! That's why it's so hard to detect. I've seen it!"
"Be that as that may, miss, the cause of death stays as alcoholism." Meredith threw her hands in the air. She couldn't believe the arrogance.
"Was there any other family?" David asked. "Besides her parents?"
"Her grandparents died years ago. Both her parents were only children" Meredith muttered. "She was engaged to be married. Paul….something."
"Ah that'd be Paul Trutterfeld," Geoffrey said. "He's been already. Identified the body. Made no arrangements for burial. Just wanted to make sure a certain item was returned to him. One 15 carat diamond engagement ring with rubies and sapphires. Said it belonged to his mother and he wanted to make sure it stayed with his family." Meredith sneered. Patricia wasn't even cold yet and her so called 'fiance' only cared about getting his precious bauble back. If she ever met this Paul Trutterfeld she was going to hex his privates to the South Pole!
"Shame really," Geoffrey said. "One so pretty, being buried at Azkaban."
"What!?" Meredith shouted. "What do you mean buried at Azkaban?"
"Miss Patterson has been declared a criminal by the ministry," David said. "As there is no one to claim her body for burial she will be buried in the Azkaban graveyard."
"No!" Meredith shouted. "Patricia is no criminal! She did not torture her parents, I know she didn't."
"Never the less," Geoffrey says. "With no one to claim the body…"
"I claim her!" Meredith shouted. The words were out of her mouth before she knew she'd spoken them. But she meant them.
"I claim her," she said again. "I'll make the arrangements. I'll bury her."
"Meredith are you sure?" David said.
"Whatever Patricia was to me, she's no criminal and I will not allow her to be buried as one."
/
The rain poured down soaking Meredith as she stood in front of Patricia's final resting place. Sirius, under Polyjuice Potion using one of Bill's hairs, held an umbrella over her head. He had insisted on coming with her, she didn't know why. He hadn't known Patricia. Dora, Arthur, Molly, they had known her and thought it only right that someone be here to stand in place of her family.
Patricia Julianna Patterson
January 7th 1976-October 20th 1995
The stone was simple white marble. Meredith stared at the dates. Nineteen years. A mere fingersnap in a lifetime. There should have been some words. Something to tell people who Patricia was. But what could she have said? Loving daughter, no one would believe it. Faithful friend, that was a laugh. The ministry official assigned to oversee the proceedings asked if anyone had anything to say regarding the deceased. Meredith could feel all eyes on her. She should say something but there were no words. She turned away and started walking. Her shoes sunk into the wet grass as she continued walking towards the cemetery gates. The rain soaked her dress and her hair but she barely noticed. She paused at the gate and waited for Dora to take her arm. They apparated out and appeared in front of Grimmauld Place. They went inside and found Mad Eye and Snape in the kitchen.
"Have you found out anything?" Arthur asked.
"It was Bellatrix as we suspected, acting on the Dark Lord's orders."
"Why would You Know Who be after Patricia?" Tonks asked. Snape looked uncomfortable.
"It was not Miss Patterson he was after," Mad Eye said. "It's you Miss Lupin."
"Me?" Meredith said.
"Yes," Snape said. "Pettigrew it seems has given a great deal of information to the Dark Lord about Potter which he gathered in the years he spent acting as the Weasley boy's pet. In particular those to whom he is closest too. This would include the Weasley boy as well as Miss Granger, Black and you."
"He can't get to Harry directly so he's trying to get to him through those he cares most about," Arthur surmised.
"Precisely," Snape said.
"But Ron and Hermione are at school with Harry, under Dumbledore's protection and Sirius is has been hiding at Grimmauld that just leaves…" Dora said.
"Me," Meredith said.
"I'm afraid so," Snape said. "As a healer you are exposed and unprotected. That in the Dark Lord's eyes makes you the weakest and easiest target."
"What does that have to do with Patricia?" Meredith demanded. Hearing that she was Voldemort's target should have frightened her but she was too angry right now to be afraid.
"The Dark Lord became aware that you and Miss Patterson were in communication with each other recently. Pettigrew knew that you and Miss Patterson were close in school. He sent Bellatrix there to find out what Miss Patterson knew about the order and the prophecy. She tortured Miss Patterson for hours but Patricia refused to tell her anything. When that failed Bellatrix tortured her parents hoping to break her. I don't know how long Bellatrix tortured them, but Patricia still refused to reveal any information that she had received from you. When Bellatrix realized there was nothing she could do to make Patricia talk she killed her."
Meredith was numb. She couldn't believe this. All this time, all the hurt, and betrayal and Patricia had not given her up.
"Why? Why go after Patricia? Why not just come after me? Like you said I'm exposed. Why this go around?"
"Because of who your father is." It was Mad Eye who spoke. Meredith stared at the former Auror in confusion. What was he talking about? How could Voldemort know that Sirius was her father? There was no way Pettigrew could have found out. And even if the Dark Lord had figured it out why would being Sirius's daughter mean Voldemort would not come at her directly. Bellatrix could not possibly have any loyalty to her cousin, let alone to her.
"There is a very strict code among the werewolves. Anyone who directly attacks a member of the pack's cub will become an enemy of the entire pack. Voldemort is trying to get the werewolves on his side and the last thing he wants to do is make an enemy of them." Meredith swallowed hard. Of course Mad Eye had been talking about Remus. She didn't know why her mind had gone to Sirius.
"Remus hasn't lived among the pack in years," Sirius said.
"An argument, Fenrir Greyback has been making to the Pack Elders for months now. But they are holding to the old ways. Remus has raised Meredith as his cub since she was a child and that entitles her to pack protection. Avery has already been severely punished for his attack on Meredith at the cottage." Meredith's head was spinning. She had never known any of this. Remus had never told her much about the ways of werewolves.
"So they couldn't go after her directly," Dora said. "That still doesn't explain why they went after Patricia."
"The code only protects the cubs from coming under attack. If the cub were to instigate the fight…"
"So they went after Patricia hoping that Meredith would retaliate and then…" Arthur started and trailed off. Meredith felt like she was going to be sick.
"It's my fault," she said. Everyone, even Snape immediately spoke trying to say she was wrong but Meredith couldn't hear it. She didn't hear them try to reassure her that she was not to blame for Voldemort going after Patricia she could only hear the final words she had ever spoken to the woman. The last words she would ever say to the woman who had allowed her parents to be tortured and then died rather than betray her.
/
Remus stared down at the article in his hand that had arrived by owl that morning. His heart was heavy as he read of Patricia's death as well as the permanent commitment of Mr. and Mrs. Patterson to the spell damage ward of St. Mungoes. Enclosed was a short note.
"She needs you," was all it said. He recognized Sirius's handwriting. He quickly made his apologies to the pack elder and departed for Grimmauld Place. If Sirius had sent for him Meredith must be in a bad state. He disapparated and saw the house in front of him. He hurried inside out of the rain. He could hear a few voices in the kitchen. He quickly pulled off his sopping cloak as Sirius came into the hall.
"Mooney," his friend greeted him. "Thank goodness you're here." Remus handed his cloak to Sirius and ran a quick spell over his wet hair.
"How is she?" Sirius looked grim.
"It's bad Mooney. She's blaming herself and there's nothing any of us can say that's gonna convince her otherwise." Sirius said. Remus felt ill as Sirius gave him the summary of what Severus had reported earlier. He had not even considered that Meredith would be under pack protection when this all started. It was an ancient rule, almost forgotten about as so many werewolves chose not to have children at risk of passing on lycanthropy. It was ironic that this curse he had borne for so long, that kept him from finding paid work, and had kept him from pursuing the woman he had loved was now the very thing that was keeping the person he loved most in this world safe from Voldemort. Gods, what Meredith must be feeling right now. He had never borne Patricia ill will for her prejudice against him and his condition, but it had hurt him greatly to see her friendship with Meredith be torn apart by it. His own heart grieved the girl's death. He had loved her like a daughter and a small part of his heart had always hoped that the two of them would make amends someday. He shook his head and pushed his own feelings aside.
"She paid for the stone," Sirius was saying now. "She paid for the service, all of it. I've never seen her like this Mooney. She's locked up inside herself."
"Where is she now?" Remus asked.
"Her room," Sirius said. "She didn't want to stay here but Molly didn't think it a good idea she be alone. I think she just didn't have the strength to fight us on it." Sirius let out a long sigh. Not since that night in the Shrieking Shack had Remus seen Sirius look so drawn.
"I can't reach her Moony," Sirius said. "I…She won't let me in. She needs you. You're the only one that has any chance of reaching her." Remus sighed. He knew what it must cost Sirius to admit that he was unable to help Meredith. He laid a hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed hard. He released him and hurried up the three flights of stairs and down the long hallway to the room Meredith had been given. He knocked twice but received no answer.
"Meredith," he called. "It's me. I'm coming in." When he still received no answer he slowly pushed the door open. The first thing that he noticed was the chill. Grimmauld was a drafty house in general but Meredith's room chilled him to the bone. He immediately pointed his wand at the fireplace and lit a fire. It served to take off the edge of cold and bring a soft warm light to the room. In the light he could see the untouched meal trays which he quickly vanished as well as the neatly made bed that had not been slept in. He cast his eye around and saw her. She sat at the window, staring out at the rain. Her back was to him and she remained unmoving. He wasn't sure she even knew he was there. Her hair looked like it had not been washed in days. He moved forward slowly and laid his hand on her shoulder. Slowly she turned her head and looked at him. She was as pale as a ghost. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. Neither of them spoke as she leaned into him and buried her face against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her as close to him as he could. He felt her tears soak his shirt and he could feel her shake. He held on tighter trying to pass as much of his own warmth onto her that he could.
"Daddy," she whimpered. Just to hear her sounding so small was a dagger in his heart.
"I'm here love," he said kissing the top of her head. "I'm here."
"Patricia…" she said softly.
"It wasn't your fault," he said firmly. Meredith shook her head against him.
"Listen to me," he said. He placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted her face so he looking right into her eyes.
"It was not your fault. None of us knew that Voldemort would target you. Not even Dumbledore saw this coming. There was no way any of us could have know that Voldemort would try to use Patricia to get to you. How could we have? You and Patricia hadn't spoken in two years when Dumbledore sent you to recruit her."
"I called her a coward," Meredith. "The last words I ever spoke to her and I called her a coward."
"You couldn't have know this would happen," Remus said again.
"You were right Dad," Meredith said. "I can't do this." Remus felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd been so determined to keep her safe from the danger, from the pain but perhaps what he should have been doing is preparing her better for the inevitable.
"I was wrong," Remus said. "You feel shattered right now because you're grieving. I understand that, but you're going to get through it. You're the strongest person that I know, and the order needs you." She didn't speak but just leaned closer. He held her for the longest time. Eventually, he convinced her to go into the bathroom and have a bath. He hurried downstairs and sent Dora up to make sure Meredith didn't drown herself in the tub.
"How is she?" Molly asked as he came into the kitchen. Remus sighed.
"It's gonna take time," Remus said. "All we can do is be there for her. Molly, can you mix up a dreamless sleep potion." Molly nodded, glad to have something to do.
"It's probably best she stay here for a while, so she won't be alone." Sirius said. "We should have some of her things brought here." Remus hesitated. He'd been planning to stay with Meredith at her place for the next few days, as he knew she hated Grimmauld, but Sirius was right. He would have to return to the pack sooner or later and here at least Sirius could be with her all the time. It would serve a dual purpose really, Meredith wouldn't be alone and it would give Sirius something that would make him feel useful.
"She won't like it," he said. "But I'll talk to her." He took the tray Molly had prepared. It held a bowl of soup, a sandwich, a tall glass of pumpkin juice, and the dreamless sleep potion.
"We've not had much success getting her to eat," Molly said. "Maybe you'll have more luck."
"Thank you Molly," Remus said heading up the stairs. He pushed open the door to Meredith room. Dora had Meredith in a pair of pajamas, and was running a drying spell over Meredith's short red hair. His heart always hurt looking at the short red locks. His daughter's hair had been so beautiful when it was long a free and down nearly to her waist. He shook off the thoughts.
"Thank you Dora," he said. Dora nodded and left. He sat the tray down and tucked Meredith into bed. He set the tray on the bed side table and took up the bowl. She did not fight him as he fed her. Little by little the food disappeared. She showed no sign that she was doing more than just reacting to his orders but he would take it as progress that she was eating. Once the food and drink were done he handed her to potion. She stared at it dully. She knew what it was and wasn't happy about it. But she did not object and swallowed it one long gulp. In minutes her head was against the pillow and her eyes were closed. He sat with her until her breathing had evened out and she was in a deep sleep. Old habits died hard he thought as he tucked the blankets up around her. He kissed her forehead and doused the lights.
/
Remus sat with Sirius, Molly and Dora in the kitchen discussing how best to talk Meredith into remaining at Grimmauld for awhile. It had been almost an hour when out of nowhere they heard it. Screaming. Remus knew who it was and was immediately rushing up the stairs. He could tell that the others were following close behind. He burst into Meredith's room to find her sitting straight up, eyes wide open and panicked. Her blankets were tangled around her and she was sweating.
"Meredith," he said sitting beside her and pulling her into his arms.
"Patricia," she gasped pushing him away. "She was there. She blames me. She said it was all my fault."
"It was a nightmare," Remus said trying to be calm. "Just a nightmare." Even as he said it the words made no sense. The potion should have prevented any nightmares.
"It wasn't a nightmare," Meredith said frantically shaking her head. "She's haunting me!" Remus, Molly, Sirius and Dora could do nothing but stare at each other in bewilderment.