Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

-Forenote-

So I heard you like new chapters. Bam, new chapter.

Obviously I did say a weekly schedule was what I was aiming for, but let me clarify: I'll have a new chapter up at the latest roughly every week. So in the event that maybe I see some comments/reviews/PM's about how people are really liking this, and it then subsequently gives me warm fuzzies and revs up my desire to write more. Plus this chapter was one I had been looking forward to myself, so here we are.

Anyways, from now on I believe these forenotes will most likely be pretty small, if there at all. I may answer the odd question I see in these, within reason and without spoilers. Duh.

The one that I have seen several times, which understandably is important to some readers: "Will this be a harem?"

To which I have a simple answer. No.

There will be women, quite possibly more than one, and natural circumstances in this story may lead to one thing or another - some surprising even to me. Sudden inspiration is a fickle mistress, and yet she tempts me so.

But am I going to have a cadre of women (or men) constantly thirsting for a thick, hot load of...reiatsu? No, and that will not change for this story. I may never, harems are weird to write.

That was the only real question I've seen so far, but I'll keep an eye out, and I will answer what I can.

By the way, I have heard word that the mobile site specifically does not like to load the '--' I use for scene and perspective breaks, particularly for chapter 3. No idea why or if the issue persists, but the normal site and phone app are perfectly fine last time I checked.

To Jean Danjou with the suggestion about thought verbs and that essay on them, I'll look into it - and thank you.

-Forenote end-

Chapter 4: Reflection

A rare wind stormed across the wastes of Hueco Mundo, sand stirring and shifting in its wake. These storms, such as they were, were thought to literally and figuratively wipe clean the desert; flowing over the scars from countless tracks and battles, and in places even piling up enough to cover the outcroppings of pale stone that dotted the changing landscape.

It was here, behind a massive pillar blocking most of the storm, that Shin took respite. He laid himself down with a slow deliberateness, large bony head resting atop his paws, tail curled around his feet so as not to stick out into the open. He exhaled wearily, flanks heaving. He kept one wary eye open to ensure the wind didn't shift and bury his only shelter within reasonable distance as he rested.

He'd been wandering aimlessly for what had to be a month - or more, time was nearly impossible to measure, the slowly shifting moon the only indication that it even existed in this realm at all. Flicking an eye up, he could barely spot its cold glow through the clouds of sand.

Pointless.

He let a small sigh. At this point, he was simply walking until his hunger rose enough for him to feed. Having had no success in finding anything in this blasted desert, he was quickly losing the hope that anything could give him a clue. He would not, however, give up on it; he refused, either from sheer determination or stubbornness.

It seemed to be something of a trend.

Besides, I can still feel it...

Shortly after his self-imposed stint of solitude began he'd come to feel an odd sensation from his hollows hole, placed directly in the center of his broad chest. The sense was always there, though it seemed to become more prominent after he fed, slowly fading until he ate next. If he closed his eyes and focused, he could picture it: a single glowing coal, burning from some source he couldn't place. It simply sat there, resonating with a heat he could almost feel when the temperature dropped low enough. After a meal it flared up, seeming brighter in his mind, as if it just needed the slightest breath to coax it into a blaze.

This was what kept him going in the eternal nights. He knew deep in his core that he could bring himself to that peak, and even further beyond that once he did. But it never worked, no matter how much he hunted. He simply ate to keep his mind at the fore; he was running out of places within sight to inspect, and his frustration rose with each failed venture.

Maybe Nel would have known...why didn't I ask for help when I had the chance? He mentally berated himself, both for the thought and the weakness it showed was growing in his mind. Only whatever gods existed knew where she was now, and the idea of heading towards Las Noches to just wait until she showed up aggravated him to no end. She wasn't his guardian, no matter how she may have acted during their time traveling together.

A low growl emanated from behind closed jaws as he shifted, tail sweeping aside a small drift of sand that had formed just beneath the winds curling reach.

Shin took one last look out at the swirling darkness, noting that it was distinctly colder than before. Nighttime, for what it was in this place, seemed to have fallen. With that and the storm that showed no signs of slowing down, he felt safe enough to get some sleep, however brief, to calm his thoughts.

When he woke, he would resume his search - both mentally and otherwise.

--

Some time later, a lone hollow paused in its winding way across the desert, it's gaze somehow drawn to a tall stone column jutting out of the sands. It could barely make out an irregular shape at its peak - and after a moment it saw the outline move slightly.

And yet it remained.

Intrigued, the hollow concealed their power and made its way towards the monolith, curious in spite of itself. Some primal instinct screamed out that this being was dangerous, even from that distance.

But what was life without a little risk?

--

Shin sat upon the column, deathly still, having remained there for days. He had originally leapt up after the sandstorm had finally abated, looking for landmarks in the distance.

Instead, he found his attention inexplicably drawn to something that held him riveted.

The moon.

It was mostly fulll, only a quarter remaining to be filled on one side. He didn't know if it was the increased elevation from his perch or the clear view after the storm, but its cool light had seared its way down into his depths, calling up an odd sensation he couldn't recognize.

He'd tried to turn away, to keep moving, but he couldn't bring himself to. Something in his mind knew he was missing some crucial piece, something that should be plainly obvious.

So he stayed, and had moved barely a foot since. He would occasionally sweep the area to ensure he was still alone, but that was all. He wasn't even hungry, as if remaining motionless actually staved that urge off for longer.

It was after several days when he first sensed a faint presence nearby. Immediately he had risen, padding over to the edges of the outcropping to peer around.

Nothing appeared.

So he had prepared himself for an attack of some sort - but nothing happened. For several hours, he could still feel whatever it was hidden nearby. To his great surprise, it vanished soon after.

From then on, the presence returned every other day or so, seeming to just watch him for a time before disappearing back into the desert. After the third day of this, Shin couldn't bring himself to care anymore. Whatever it was, it clearly wasn't looking for a fight, and he still had other things to worry about. A week after the first encounter, he ventured out to feed, returning to his tall perch without incident.

He made his way back to his normal spot, talons clicking on the rock, sitting back on his haunches with a small huff. Something seemed off.

"Welcome back."

Twisting around in surprise, he reached out with every sense possible - nothing was there. And yet he could feel the slightest sense, almost like...

Like whoever's been watching me. The thought didn't bring him very much comfort. He grunted, feeling rather fed up.

"Why have you been stalking me?" He demanded, voice echoing slightly in the quiet.

A pause, and a small 'hmph'.

He heard a small scuffling from the opposite end of the rock face, and a hollows head appeared, quickly ascending. It had the comparitively normal appearance of a large snake, its skin a pale lavender, underbelly covered in bone white plates. It's mask, if it could be called that, originated at the tip of its upper jaw, flowing back smoothly to end just behind its skull in a wide fan-like shape. Thin lines ran along the full length, and at the widest tips two small tassels hung, three small orbs of the same material swinging slowly as it moved. Glistening lavender eyes, the same color as its skin, shone out from under the masks edges. Three small pink dots lined each jaw from under the eyes, leading back towards its torso.

The adjucha finally finished bringing it's full length to the top of the plateau, coiling up almost casually as Shin watched with narrowed eyes. Just because this creature hadn't attacked him previously didn't mean he would just turn his back.

It finally rested its head on the topmost coil, looking at him curiously. They maintained this staring contest for a minute, until it tilted its spade-shaped visage to one side.

"Well?"

The voice was unquestionably female; soft and cultured, as if she was simply asking him the time of day. Shin cocked his own large head at her. "Well nothing. Are you going to answer the question?"

She seemed to sigh for a moment, and rolled her eyes slightly. "You don't think I should have just come up here the first time I saw you? This is still Hueco Mundo, and I had no idea what you were like." Her long body seemed to wriggle as she shook her head bashfully. "What would I have done if you had attacked me like some savage animal - as you do appear to be?"

"...Fair point." Shin couldn't help a lighter tone from slipping out. She didn't look to be hostile at all, clearly. If anything, all she wanted to do was talk. Why were all the women he talked to like this?

"So why are you finally coming up at all? Most hollows, as you say, would have just attacked first," he asked after dismissing the errant thought. She again looked at him openly, curiousity evident in her swaying gaze.

"Because most hollows do not just sit in one place staring at the moon." Her frank words jabbed at him, and he frowned behind his mask.

She continued, having either not noticing his reaction or simply ignoring it. "Besides, I'm not some wild beast either. As you should clearly see by now." Her words took on an odd cadence near the end.

Is she...pouting? The adjucha had turned her head away and up, eyes closed as if affronted. Shin stifled a chuckle that almost wormed its way out. "The picture of dignity, I'm sure." To his amusement she turned back with what he would describe as a smile, if it was possible for such a facial structure to do so.

He studied her for a moment, more interested in idle conversation by the moment. "So now that we've established nobody here is hostile, who are you?" She again tilted her head in response.

"I am Cyan Sung-Sun. You may simply call me Sung-Sun. And yourself?"

She introduces herself like an empress...

"Shingetsu. Just...Shin works." She nodded slowly, seeming to mull over the words.

"Shingetsu...that sounds oddly like a title."

"It was given to me. I can't remember my own." She started in surprise at his statement. Her next question appeared in her eyes before she spoke.

"I met someone who called themselves an arrancar just after reaching the surface. She gave me the name." He received an odd look.

"The only female arrancar I know of would be..."

"An Espada, I'd imagine."

Sung-Sun stared at him incredulously for a full minute. "Are you telling me, Shin," she began slowly, sounding like she was trying to convince herself of the words, "that you were found by lady Nelliel, the third Espada, and were summarily named - and I can only assume enlisted as her fracción?"

He nodded blithely. "Yeah, that sounds about right. She didn't use that term for it though."

"That does sound like her..." She narrowed her eyes in doubt. "Then why are you not at Las Noches?"

He finally let out a small laugh. "Yeah. About that."

--

Some time later, he had finished recounting his story to an amazed Sung-Sun; who to her credit didn't have as many questions as he expected her to.

She simply sighed in amazement at the end of it, shaking her wide head, tassles swinging at the motion. "You are the luckiest man I have ever met."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"As well you should," she swiftly shot back, though the expression she sent with it hid a smile. She had edged slightly closer as he talked, smooth coils loosening into a wider, and seemingly more relaxed, circle. He was glad for that. One could never have too many friends in this place.

Soon after, she excused herself, muttering something about 'uncultured animals noticing her absence'.

As she slithered off into the night, Shin glanced back at the shining beacon in the sky. It brought no further revelations, and in the best mood he'd found himself in yet, he closed his eyes to rest.

--

To his genuine pleasure, Sung-Sun returned after several short days, climbing his monolith in an odd undulating fashion. At seeing something in his expression she laughed quietly, the soft sound ringing out into the desert. "Why, if I'd known you would have missed me this much, I would have kept you waiting just a little longer..."

He grumbled a bit at that, eliciting more laughter - but he couldn't deny he was happy to see her. Staring at the moon was only getting him so far.

"Well, now that I've regaled you with my history..." She let out an amused 'hah' at his words. "What about you, why are you way out here? From what you said, you clearly know about the army gathering at Las Noches."

She seemed to concede that point and drew herself up some as she began. "I'm traveling, as always, with my lady Harribel and her other two fracción."

"Lady? Is she an Espada then?"

The snake adjucha opened her mouth to reply, pausing awkwardly for a moment. "N-no, not as such..."

Shin tilted his head in an obvious question. She looked away, stating, "I have no doubt she will join the Espada ranks as soon as she becomes an arrancar."

Ah.

"So...you call all people of a higher rank so formally?" Her tail whipped out, smacking him on one taloned paw lightly as she turned back, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

"I refer to those as such that I deem worthy of my respect or loyalty, Shin" The end to her words came out in a rather serpentine hiss, sending a small chill down his spine.

After assuring her he meant no disrespect, their talks turned to her other two companions - who he couldn't tell whether she got along with or not.

"We have a small hideout of sorts fairly nearby, where we used to live. Since we were found by...our leader, we have been moving between that and Las Noches. We unfortunately do still need to feed, and the old cave serves well in those times." Shin didn't miss that she seemed to know whoever it was that ruled over this place, or that she also wouldn't speak of it.

Is it loyalty or fear that keeps everyone quiet?

Unaware of his dark line of thought, she continued. "Apacci is a rather...straightforward individual. She certainly doesn't mince words, for better or worse. Mila Rose isn't so bad, but she's got her own aggressive streak a mile wide." Sung-Sun sniffed haughtily at this, nose upturned. Shin smiled behind his mask, sensing an odd hint of fondness in her scathing tone.

"Ah, that's right," she began, returning to her thought. "They appear as a deer and a lion, respectively. I'd appreciate it if you didn't attack them on one of your...meal runs." He snorted at that, nodding his agreement.

"My lady Harribel is a vasto lorde, obviously. She has the visage of...a shark, I suppose. Blue mostly, with a large tooth-like blade attached to her right arm..."

Shin let her ramble on for a time, following along passively. He felt this wasn't something she did terribly often, and she seemed somewhat dedicated to this Harribel woman. He was, however, content to simply listen.

But as she spoke, his mind clouded slightly, her words coming as if through a veil. The hole in his chest swelled again, the heat there almost scalding, and he could feel something deep calling out...

He felt a sharp sting on one shoulder and started at the sensation, seeing Sung-Sun retract her tail, a surprisingly concerned expression in her pale eyes.

He shook himself once more. "Sorry, I drifted off a bit." Doubt appeared on her face.

"I don't particularly like brooding men."

He shot her an exasperated look, breath clouding the air as he glanced up at the moon. "It's not that, I just felt something...off in my head. And of course I've had no progress in finding what I'm missing."

"To evolve, you did mention that." Sung-Sun hummed in thought, following his gaze slowly. "As far as I understand, lady Harribel simply...changed. She's never mentioned how it happened specifically. I'm sorry to say I don't have more, but if I did I would most likely not still be an adjucha myself."

She excused herself again a short time after, leaving Shin to his thoughts - however clouded and confused they may be.

--

Over the coming days Shin scoured his own mind more than anything else, convinced now that it was something there that was keeping him at this stage. All he wanted was to become stronger, that was clear, but every time he followed that line, he was suddenly stopped as if running into a wall.

Thus engrossed in self-inspection, nearly a week passed without pause, either to feed or even wonder if his newfound ally would return.

But return she did, to find her large friend in the same pose she had seen him in before their first meeting, hardly noticing her approach.

Shin was fixated on the moon again, its width nearing full, the light seeming to scour his soul as it always had, though it still revealed nothing.

What am I missing?

He was interrupted by Sung-Sun's wide head swaying into his vision, looking rather cross. He recoiled in shock, taking several heavy steps back as she lowered her long body down, sighing delicately.

"Finally. I've been here for several minutes already...I can only assume you've had no luck as of yet?" Shin's glowing eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and he shook his head in frustration. The other hollow watched him for a moment, noting the tense and rigid stance he held.

"Well, I've come to let you know that we're heading back to Las Noches soon." He grunted, in no particular mood to talk. She seemed to take his reaction in stride, just watching him carefully. After a minute she spoke again, the serious tone of her normally relaxed voice catching his attention.

"I talked to lady Harribel." He glanced over. "She believes that the key for a hollow to ascend to a vasto lorde is not simply power, as I believe you know. She said the most important thing is the conviction of the soul in question. What they aspire to be. What they fight for." Her lavender gaze swept over him, almost sadly.

"What do you fight for, Shin?" He didn't answer, too busy mulling over her words to think of anything else. She sighed, moving closer until her mask touched the tip of his, staring at him, some nameless emotion swirling in her eyes.

"I expect to see you at Las Noches eventually. If I do not, I believe I will be rather...upset. I will not forgive you for that." He made a small noise, a shadow of a laugh.

"I'll remember that."

"As well you should."

She turned away, form swaying gracefully as she moved. Shin watched her go, seeing her glance back one last time as she slipped over the side of the pillar.

Then she was gone.

He took a long breath, exhaling slowly, trying to make sense of himself. Her question seemed to echo in his head, repeating over and over.

What do you fight for?

--

For an entire day that single question invaded every facet of his mind, driving him to pace back and forth, claws clicking on the rock beneath him. He knew this was it, the single thing that was holding him back.

He had no past. No memory of who he was before existing as a Menos. Therefore, what could possibly drive him forward?

To fight was simply an instinct, any hollow knew that.

To feed was natural, if one wanted to survive.

He growled in senseless anger; he had nothing. No drive, no reason to ascend other than the simple desire for power. And even that was pointless without purpose. What would he even use that strength for?

In his pacing, his gaze drawn to the sky, he jerked to a halt. A full moon shone back, and a wave of cold fear washed over his mind.

A hazy memory surfaced in a flash: a massive, pale creature; a tiny, black-haired woman; a dark and narrow street, a pool of blood staining it black, horribly black. Reflected in it, the bright disc of the moon was seen clearly for the slightest of moments.

Shin cried out in pain, clawing at the ground, the memory burning itself into his mind. The last thing he could draw from it was the faint recollection of several bodies lying nearby, and a spark of fury rose with a taste of blood into his mouth.

I...

I have to...

With a gut-wrenching screech, his talons gouged deep into the stone floor. His eyes closed, massive body shuddering violently.

The memory had to be from his life as a human, and only his. It was far too vivid to be from another soul.

I have to...protect...

I...have to...fight...

He had been too weak.

That thought nearly shattered any sanity he had left. The heat from his hollows hole flared, searing both mind and body.

Never...never again...

His form began to steam as his spiritual energy poured out, a deep red, illuminating the desert for hundreds of feet in a bloody glow.

He howled in rage, the furious, primal sound sending every sentient thing within range into a blind panic. A loud thump sounded in his head, body throbbing with the force.

I will never...let something I care about...be taken away...because I'm not strong enough...

Ever again!

Teeth grinding together, Shin hunched down as his entire being began to ache, burning down to the bone.

With one last savage roar, the crimson glow flared ever brighter, a cloud of steam whirling around him before it exploded out with a sound like a bomb, pulverizing the surrounding area from the force.

--

Hours away, a group of four hollows made their way swiftly to the castle of Las Noches far in the distance, only to skid to a halt as a massive shockwave washed over them, the desert around them churning and shifting from the force.

One smaller humanoid form, armored in blue and white, looked in its direction, aqua-blue gaze open wide in surprise.

Two of her larger bestial companions cursed in shock as the explosion faded away, shivering from the remaining sense of raw power that still washed over them.

Sung-Sun, the third, simply smiled in her own way, eyes shining.

--

The remaining shrouds of smoke dispersed, revealing the huge column of stone to still be intact. A slim form appeared at its peak, the red aura fading away.

Shin inhaled deeply, the cool air soothing his scorched lungs, expelling the breath in a hissing cloud.

He stood at the height of tall human, wide-shouldered and lithe with muscle. His skin shone a porcelain white, broken only by the hole directly under his collarbone and the six symmetrical black lines emanating out from its radius, like ebony strings of flame. The lowest two jutted out to the sides, curving up and over his shoulders into a fine point. The other four each rose out and up his chest, the top pair running all the way up under his mask; it now covered his entire head, shaped like a fearsome skull and just as bone-colored. The oddly shaped horns remained from his previous incarnation, emanating out to the sides and looping around in an angular fashion before jutting forwards aggressively. The face itself had the same two black stripes running from either side of the chin, veering in to run over the eye sockets before swerving back out over the crown of the head. The visage had a certain shape, the brow jutting down into a rigid furrow, that gave the overall appearance an intimidating cast. A collar of some type of hair or fur ringed his neck, open at the front, and colored a bright blood-red. Similar patches were on his wrists and ankles, and a long unruly mane of orange hair spilled out from under the back of the mask, flowing down to his hips. His hands and toes were tipped with vicious black claws.

Shin rolled his neck around slowly, feeling a satisfying pop from the tendons there. Examining his new body, he marveled at how much better it felt to be in a human form. He had been perfectly fine with his larger sizes, but this felt more...natural.

Besides, now I don't take up so much space.

After another deep breath, he noticed something even more pleasant: the whispers were gone. The cacophany of souls that had driven him mad at times were finally silenced in their entirety and his mind was fully his own. The simple enjoyment he took from being able to think clearly was incredible. That, and the fact that his hunger had vanished as well.

He'd expected it, but the actual sensation of...wholeness that came with becoming a vasto lorde defied words. One last look at the brilliantly shining moon overhead sent a tingle of fear trailing down his spine, but it no longer held him hostage.

He leaned to one side, stretching as he crouched. Feeling strangely cold, he glanced down at-

Oh. Right.

Resolving to find something to wear as soon as he could, he sought out the titanic silhouette of Las Noches with a sense of finality.

He had a promise to keep.