Chapter 5 - Breakfast

Here's a riddle. What's something everyone hate if it works, but they'll hate it even more if it doesn't do its work?

If you guessed Guild Agents, you wouldn't be wrong. But no. I was talking about alarm clocks. One of which is right next to my ear, blearing its alarm to wake me.

Angrily, I slap the top of it and sit up. While I rub my eye with the back of my wrist, I yawn. God… Why did I even set this thing? I have the afternoon shift this week… Ugh.

I step out of bed with nothing but my grey boxers on and sleepily walk to the door. Somehow, I feel like I'm forgetting something.

The door opens… and I see what I was supposed to remember. Vampy. Without her hoodie still. She's on my couch, watching TV. Or she was until I stepped into the room. Her eyes lock with mine before they trail down to my lack of attire. This is probably TMI, but… Morning wood…

Neither of us say anything. I just slowly close the door. Very slowly.

If you don't think about it and no one says anything, it didn't happen. Simple. No need to-... You know. Think about how Vampy saw me in nothing with undies with a raging—

Stop.

Close the door, B-Face. Close it.

Alright. Door: closed. Crisis: averted(?)

With a deep breath, I gather some clothes and dress myself. Nothing too fancy. A plain black T-shirt and some jeans.

Smacking my cheeks twice, I open the door once more and greet Vampy. "Morning."

"Yeah… Morning…"

Okay. We both are acting like that didn't happen. And she's still here. And my TV and consoles are still here. In hindsight, this was a pretty stupid move to let a criminal sleep on my couch while I was sleeping in the other room. That's the second time I let hindsight get the better of me...

Slowly, I take a seat beside her on the couch. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah…" she responds in a quiet tone. "Feeling a bit peckish, though…"

As she says this, I am reminded of my own hunger. Right. One cup of leek soup was probably not enough to keep us fed to morning. And I wouldn't dare get another cup from a four-day-old meal.

"I see… Hey," I began, "wanna go out for breakfast?"

Vampy takes her time to respond. "What, ran out of leftovers?"

"Yesterday's soup is still in the fridge… Feeling adventurous, Vampy?"

The girl's face scrunches up. "Pass. It was already stale yesterday."

"Fair enough," I return. "Well? How about it then? We going out for breakfast or…?"

As if she expected me to already know the answer, Vampy nods and says "No need to ask me twice. Not like I got much of a choice here."

… When you put it like that… Geez. Am I that unbearable or something?

I don't let my lack of confidence show. Clearing my throat, I nod. "Right then… Uh. Wanna go then?"

With a short "Eh", Vampy stands up. I join her and lead her to the door. After she left, I lock the door and we both head out.

"So what are we having?" She asks me curiously. "Or rather, what can you even afford?"

I was about to answer until the words found themselves stuck in my throat. "What do you mean, 'what can I afford?' I'm not that poor."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Really," I respond… I don't look that poor… I mean, I don't right? Guys? Anyone?

Vampy looks at me with narrow eyes. Man. Isn't she being a little too crude? I'm uneducated. Not jobless.

Her eyes soon turn to a slightly more friendly gaze. She actually gives me a bit of a smile. A natural one at that. "Alright then. That'll just mean I won't have to feel bad for not treating you again. You can buy your own crap."

There's a short pause before I nod. I have no idea what that was about but I'm not gonna ask. "Okay then… Uhh… We grabbin' breakfast at Nepdonals then?"

She shrugs and stands up, picking the grey hoodie up and putting back on. "Sounds good to me. Lead the way, B-Face."

Ah yes. Nepdonalds. The only place in Gamindustri that is more miserable than my motel room. To its credit, it's pretty tidy for your average Nepdonalds. Probably because it's morning and, let's face it, no one has breakfast here. Not me, at least.

Well. There's a first for everything. I have something that resembles bacon and eggs… on a bun. And Vampy has, well, a burger with some fries on the side. Guess she missed the memo of having breakfast. Can't help but feel it's a cultural thing… Like… Maybe where she comes from, they always have burgers and fries for breakfast?

We enjoy both our own meals in silence… Again with the awkward air between us. Maybe it's me… But I feel like we should be acknowledging each other's existence.

"Say," I said between my bites. "Real talk. We should probably know each other's name… Y'know. Other than Vampire Girl and Baby-Face…"

A fry pinched between her fingers, Vampy holds it up absentmindedly. "Oh? So you finally gonna toss in the towel?"

"Towel? Err… Sure. Why not." No idea what she means. But I'm going to just nod and smile happily.

"... Wh-Whoa. You got a seriously scary face. What are you doing?"

"I-... I'm smiling…?"

Vampy raises a hand. "Don't do that ever again. Seriously creeping me out. And I've seen some shit."

My smile fades as quickly as it came. I give her an unamused stare instead.

"Oh, now that look suits you!" She exclaims boldly. "That's the B-Face I know!"

This slut… Note to self. Never offer Vampy a fake smile. Ever. "So your name?" I ask in a monotone voice.

"Hm? Hrm. You first."

Is she trying to be as unbearable as possible? Good grief…

After a short pause, I let loose a sigh in resignation. "Nathan… Pride. Something I just swallowed to bear with you…" I uttered that last part between closed lips.

Vampy seems… surprised, for one reason or another. She leans forward a little. "Huh. Not a bad name… I like B-Face better, though."

"Just like how I'll like Vampy better than Hilda?"

"That's… surprisingly close, but not my name."

I shrug. T'was a good guess if you ask me. Still… "Alright. I gave you mine. Now give me yours unless you want me to call you Vampy for all of eternity."

Vampy grunts lightly. "Man, here I was thinking the name thing was actually going to be dramatic…"

… Seriously, what's she going on about?

"The name's Linda," she tells me with a straight face. "Better remember it, or I'm calling you out. And no. My last name is not Underling. I don't have a last name."

"O-Of all last names you can have… Why did you specifically pick that of all—"

"Don't question it!" She interrupts.

God-... bless this annoying broad. Not a morning person. At all.

"I see… " I dejectedly answer. It leads to a short pause between us. In which I start to wonder… I don't think I really feel comfortable calling Vampy Linda. It's a fine name, sure. But for the past… undefined amount of time, I've always been thinking of her as Vampy. Guess it won't hurt to try and ask if she'd mind.

Well. Before I can put my idea to the test, Vampy asks me something first. "I'm gonna keep calling you B-Face. You cool with that?"

How convenient. We were thinking the same, I suppose. "As long as you won't mind me calling you Vampy… In which case, I think I'd prefer it." As I spoke, a natural smile crept up on my face. Which actually creeps Vampy out a bit. She doesn't vocalise it.

"Know what? Yeah. Think I'm on the same boat with you here. B-Face."

"... Vampy."

We share a bit of a laugh (I know right? So uncharacteristic!) and return to our foods. Linda, huh? Good to know. But she'll still be Vampy to me. Don't question it.

So I tend to write at least something in these author notes... But I got nothing. Uhh... Santa is not.