Interlude I: Rey
Missing Ben feels like the point of a knife, driven into her breast.
In the beginning, she denies the truth of her loss. Ben will return. Soon. One day.
After the first year, her hope dies and is reborn as a blazing phoenix of rage. The Force sees to it that the sharp edges of her grief stay fresh. The blessing of their Force bond becomes a curse, connecting their minds over the endless leagues of space no matter how desperately Rey tries to sever the invisible string that binds them. His final lesson to her was the cruelest blow; no matter the promises a person makes, they're only ever one step from walking away. Through the bond she can see his sorrow, but also his gratitude. It hurts to acknowledge the truth: that he wouldn't answer her if she called out first. Easier then, to let their battered friendship die. Kill it, if she has to. When the subterranean hum of the bond opens around her, she closes her eyes and imagines herself in another world. One in which she never met Ben Solo.
Their encounters come fewer and further between. She sees Ben only in dreams and visions, unchanged by time, but her anger lives on; at him, at herself, at the Jedi Order. When she knocks out three of Ezriel's teeth during a training session, she realizes that she can't go on this way. Perhaps if she achieves what Ben asked—becomes a true Jedi, free of attachment and pure of heart—he will return to her.
She tries to reconnect with her fellow apprentices. But it's as if they can sense the remnant of Vader's grandson that won't leave her. Colt is the only one to stand beside her. Her gratitude to him is rivalled only by the terrible pain of her loss. The others learn not to use his name in her presence and she continues her training. Her visits with Leia and Han ended long ago, after that brief week on Chandrila when Ben watched her draw her saber for the first time and murmured, incredible. The manacles of emotion are clipped away as she grows into the truth of her identity: peacekeeper, counselor, Jedi. She regains the trust she had lost. When she passes the Trials at nineteen, she is the youngest ever to do so. Luke praises her maturity, her devotion to the Order, and her skill in the Force. She wonders what he would think if he saw the emptiness inside her.
Time heals all wounds, they say, but this one doesn't heal. It festers.
As the light in Rey's heart dims, so too does the galaxy around her. Whispers continue to reach the Jedi from afar of the Scourge of the New Republic, the dreaded Knights of Ren. In the halls of the Senate, a splintering takes place, driven into motion by a group of incendiary young politicians who decry Leia as the daughter of a tyrant. The seemingly endless summertime of peace begins to fade, as all throughout the galaxy star-systems respond to the stirrings of war.
These tidings reach Rey, but do not stir her heart.
She is too busy forgetting.