The sky was slowly darkening after a brilliant blood red sunset. Normally this would have been moments treasured, people is awe with nature's beauty. But today it left Tauriel cold. She was unfeeling and emotionless after a draining day. Life was unfair. How was it possible that she had been having great fun and love filled weeks, while others were fighting for their very lives? While some had fought the battle between life and death… and lost…

"Here." She looked up at the steaming mug of tea Kíli held out to her. Gratefully she took it, giving him a watery smile and refocused her attention on the horizon through the windows of his apartment.

"Tell me if you need something else alright?" he asked, concern lining his voice.

"Tea is fine, thank you Kíli."

"I have some whisky for later. It's Durin's Whiskey, which is the best of all. You're gonna need something stronger than tea to get you through tonight."

"Yeah I guess…" Kíli sat himself beside her on the couch, pulling her against him. He stayed silent, as he had done for the most part that evening, which Tauriel liked. Talking was useless right now, but she enjoyed his physical support. He understood her process of grief, which was one of the reasons she had called him after the funeral that afternoon.

His body had arrived two days after they received the shocking news. A day later all the arrangements were made and several hours ago, he was lowered into his freshly dug grave. Everything had passed in a blur: the speeches, the goodbyes, the blessings, and especially the tears. Tears had been everywhere, showing the sadness of the event, the injustice, the cruelty, and the loss of some so strong and helpful, who had always stuck to his morals. He had been brave and selfless to try and help the people in need without a thought of his own safety and life. He would be remembered as a honourable man, a great son, lovingly brother, and wonderful friend, because that was everything Boromir Gondor had been.

Tauriel clenched her fists as she wrapped herself tighter in Kíli's arms. She couldn't bear thinking about Faramir and Éowyn and the suffering they were going through right now. So close to their wedding, the wedding Boromir had actively helped plan and had been deliriously excited for. Why had fate been so cruel to not allow him to experience that moment of happiness that he had so desperately wanted for his younger brother? But this loss wasn't the only tragedy.

With the news of his oldest and favourite son's death, Denethor Gondor had fallen into a severe depression, blaming everyone, especially Faramir for his loss. Tensions and emotions were running very high creating an extremely unpleasant atmosphere. Éowyn and Faramir had decided to postpone their wedding into the unknown future, and Aragorn had become so upset by his friend's passing, that he had decided against everyone's wishes to volunteer for Boromir's place. Part of him was feeling incredibly guilty and he had the irrational idea that if he had been there too, Boromir would still be alive, which of course was completely absurd. But it didn't matter how much Arwen or anyone else begged, Aragorn's mind was made up and he would depart to Mordor next week.

Tauriel couldn't bear all the negative and sad emotions after the funeral and called Kíli, who came to her saving. Within half an hour he'd picked her up and driven her to his place. There he'd sat her down with a box of tissues as he went to prepare dinner. Tauriel hadn't been able to stand the sight nor smell of food the past few days, but Kíli's curry had tempted her to eat at least a little bit. That had been an hour ago. Now with the steaming mug of tea in her hand and Kíli softly stroking her hair, she finally started to relax, letting the emotions come out of her, even in the form of tears.

"Thanks." She told him, feeling incredibly grateful for his support while at the same time feeling sad that she needed him instead of her friends. But every one of her friends was dealing with the loss in their own way and being near Arwen or Éowyn only made her feel worse. Kíli however wasn't in mourning and was able to give her the positive energy and care she needed.

"No worries love." He replied and kissed her temple. "I am always there for you." And she smiled.

"How's Faramir holding up?" He asked.

"He's barely, he's completely devastated. If it weren't for Éowyn, who knows what he'd do. He's got no one to turn to now that his father has gone mad."

"I can imagine. If anything happened to Fíli…" Kíli fell silent for a bit and Tauriel could see the intense pain in his eyes just imagining the situation. She squeezed his hand.

"Fíli and I are so close, as children we were inseparable, and even now, I need to see him at least once a week, just to make sure he's fine, even though he's the responsible one and always takes care of me. If he would be gone… life would seem pointless." He looked at her and then grinned. "Of course, now that I know you I'll be able to get through. But if you'd asked me a few months ago, I'd probably have followed him into his grave."

"Well I am glad I can be of some service." And Kíli laughed.

"I am sorry love, that sounded terrible for you."

"No I understand. Well maybe not completely, I've never had an actual blood sibling. I mean, Legolas and I grew up together and if he were to be in trouble, it would hurt me terribly, incredibly. But we were never full siblings; I think it's different. I always wanted to have a brother or sister, even a twin, always thought it'd be cool to have a twin. But now… I don't think I want that anymore…"

"Why not?"

"Because it makes you vulnerable. My parents are dead and I don't have any close relatives… I can't be hurt like that anymore." Kíli looked at her quizzically.

"But aren't your friends your family now? How would you feel if I left?" The second he said that she tightened her hold of him and stared deeply into his eyes, almost furiously.

"Don't you dare!" He softly caressed her cheek.

"I wouldn't want to love, but what if?" Tauriel was silent for a moment.

"I'd be devastated. It's one of the reasons why I didn't let anyone into my life. Arwen was right when she accused me of being afraid. I am afraid of love. I've seen it hurt so many times that it's become scary to me." Kíli looked at her and smiled before giving her a kiss.

"And how are you feeling about love now?"

"I am still afraid," she told him honestly, "but I am also seeing the amazing sides of love that I tried to keep out and that, you, gives me courage."

"I am glad to hear that." He said and got up. "I am getting the whiskey." He poured both of them a generous amount. They clinked their glasses together filled with the golden brown liquid.

"To Boromir." She said.

"To Life." He replied.

As they drank they listened to the jazz music Kíli had put on that played softly in the background.

"Did you hear anything from your cousin Gimli?" She asked.

"He's alive and doing fine apparently. Of course everyone is still in shock. He was close to the hospital when it was bombed. Found it utterly barbaric of course. Made him feel quite useless. He's there to try and protect people. It's supposed to be his blood, not that of patients and doctors, that should be spilled. These are his words by the way, not mine. But I can understand where he's coming from."

"Will he be here next week?"

"He doesn't know yet so I guess it will be a surprise for all of us on the day itself." Kíli smiled at her, pulling her closer to his strong broad chest. "I am glad you'll be there though." And she smiled back at him.

"I am glad as well. I can't wait to meet your family. Actually, since you and your brother are so close, I am surprised I haven't met him yet." And he laughed.

"Honestly, I don't really know why. He's quite a busy guys and you're schedules tend to clash. But I guess I am also just looking for the right moment to show off such a beautiful gem as yourself." He said winking and she laughed.

"Gosh, you're so poetic."

"I have more, would you like to hear it?"

"Haha I bet, and I'd love to hear more, but maybe another time."

"Don't worry, I won't bother you with them now, they still need polishing."

They fell back into a comfortable silence, both sipping their whiskey as the night grew dark. The alcohol and the warmth of his body were beginning to make her drowsy, which surprised Tauriel. She'd hardly slept these past few days, but being tired was a welcomed change. Kíli noticed and gallantly offered her his bedroom, being perfectly happy to sleep on the couch. But she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep once he was gone. Thus he lent her his sweatpants and a t-shirt and they snuggled up together in his soft bed. Within minutes Tauriel was sound asleep beside him. He felt relieved. He hated seeing her so upset. She was tired and weak and he'd do anything to make her feel better. Right before he himself drifted off, he had an idea how he could cheer her up…

Sunshine shone through a crack in the curtains into of the windows awakening Tauriel to the light and the soft chirping of birds. She kept her eyes closed, trying to enjoy the last few moments of rest. She had been exhausted and had slept dreamlessly that night. Kíli and his bed had been very comfortable to sleep with though she blushed at the thought. Lazily she stretched her arm to his side of the bed, but after a few pats she discovered that his side was empty and had gone cold. Feeling a wave of terror go through her, her eyes shot open. With terrified eyes Tauriel saw that indeed her hands hadn't misled her, Kíli wasn't in bed anymore.

"Kíli…" she muttered rather loudly, feeling completely silly as she said it. Why wouldn't he have been awake and left the bed. She couldn't expect him to lie there all there and try to comfort her pathetic self. What time was it anyway? But just as she wanted to check the time there was a knock on the door and Kíli poked his handsome but adorable face into the room.

"Well good morning darling, or rather good afternoon! I wondered when you'd wake up. Did you sleep well?"

"I… yes I did, thank you. Wait, good afternoon?" and Kíli chuckled.

"It's almost two."

"What! Oh god, everyone must wonder where I am and I've waste most of your day. Why didn't you wake me?" Tauriel felt horrified and even more so when I blush crept up her cheeks. She was normally out and about very early. She felt so silly. But Kíli apparently found it all very amusing and strode over to her, planting a solid kiss on her lips.

"First of all, they know where you are, so no need to worry. Secondly, you haven't wasted any of my time you would never be able to. And finally I didn't wake you, because you needed the sleep." She looked into his warm brown eyes and he gave her one of his puppy winning smiles. She lifted her head and kissed him back.

"Thanks Kíli."

"No worries love. Now you must get up though, I am gonna make some lunch while you shower." Tauriel laughed.

"And what's the hurry now?"

"Apart from the fact I am starving, I've got something fun planned, or at least I'll hope you find it fun, something to take your mind of things. So hurry." He said and she gave him a quick kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.

As she showered and dried off the smell of something delicious drifted from the kitchen and she was pleasantly surprised when she saw Kíli baking pancakes.

"Oh yummy! You always know what makes me happy." She told him as she took a seat and he placed a pancake in front of her.

"I try milady."

The mood was relaxed and happy as she ate her pancakes with jam and some powder sugar, while he enjoyed his with bacon and some with syrup. He kept joking around and generally making a fool of himself to keep her mind off the unpleasant events of the past few days.

"So what had you planned to do?" Tauriel asked him. She wasn't very good with surprises, but Kíli knew this and enjoyed teasing her too much, just like now.

"You'll see." He told her.

She kept questioning him, even when he drove them by bike. But slowly she started to recognize her surroundings. They were passing the Lothlórien Forest.

"Kíli, are we going where I think we're going?"

"Maybe." He laughed. Not soon after they arrived and Tauriel smiled happily, the entrance of the Lothlórien Shooting Academy gleaming at her invitingly. Kíli went over to her and held her hand.

"I figured this might take your mind off things. Celeborn told me we could use the Outer Pass today."

"You're amazing, really." She told him but then looked down at her jeans and sweater. "But I am not sure I can move properly in these clothes."

"Don't worry," He replied happily, holding up the bag he brought with him. "I've got everything covered." He showed her the contents and she gasped, taking out her casual training clothes.

"How did you get these?" and he grinned secretively, obviously very pleased with himself.

"While you were still asleep I went over to your place and asked for these. Honestly I was surprised, I had expected that I would have to climb through a window or something, but your father opened up and he was quite helpful actually." Kíli was still slightly shocked by Thranduil's cooperative behaviour. As far as he knew, the man wasn't very fond of him, and that was an understatement.

"He has his good days. He knows how upset Boromir's death made me, so I guess he's just happy you're trying to make me feel better. Archery generally does make me feel better." Tauriel said, slightly shocked but also very pleased with her father's reaction, she would thank him for that later.

"Anyway, I am just happy it went smoothly. I didn't know how long you would sleep and I didn't want you to wake up with me gone."

"You're sweet." Tauriel smiled at him and hand in hand they walked into the academy.

They quickly changed and went up to get their bows and arrows. As they tested their bows, Celeborn came up to greet them. His silver grey eyes that matched his hair, making him look so very unique, were sympathetic and he took his time giving his condolences. He also expressed his worries. He detested the war going on, especially with his wife so involved in trying to resolve peace, which at time endangered her life. But especially now that his immediate family was affected and his granddaughter's boyfriend had decided to go to the warzone, the man grew even more anxious.

"It is difficult to digest such a horrible loss so close to our hearts. Boromir is a reminder to all of us of the horrors that happen to many families every single day. At least we can say he died in honour while following his heart. I found the funeral proceedings were done very well yesterday, but let us hope it will be the last one we will have to attend in such a manner."

"Have you talked to Aragorn?" Tauriel asked and the man nodded his head with weary eyes.

"Yes I have, just like all of us, but to no avail. The terrible thing is, is that I understand his actions. As much as I don't want him to go, I do understand. I have lost kin and friends during war and I would be lying if I told you that some of my missions I choose weren't only to revenge their lives and finish what they started." Kíli saw the sorrow and memories across Celeborn's face, but they passed over quickly and his teacher put a hand on Tauriel's shoulder.

"But enough about sorrows, life goes on. Enjoy your shooting, I have always found it helps with recovery." Then the Lothlórien Lord smiled and left them to themselves.

Kíli and Tauriel choose the Outer Pass, the one that lay the furthest away from the Academy and was the most wild, running through the thick and dense forest. The targets placed were small and generally quite while hidden by the branches and leaves. But the two archers didn't really mind the targets; rather they were here for fun, shooting anything they saw fit. They were running wildly, chasing each other and having a competition, seeing who could shoot the best, making up the targets as they came along. It had been Tauriel's idea. Once they set a few steps into the woods she had eyed Kíli in a playful and cheeky manner. Just her smile had said enough and they started to run, douching branches and trying to stay on the indicated path of fallen leaves.

Tauriel was leading currently, which wasn't that much of a surprise. She was taller, thinner, and far more agile than Kíli. But while she rushed through, adrenaline pulsing through her, Kíli took his time and his shots tended to be a bit more accurate than hers. But neither of them really paid attention to where exactly their arrows landed, it was all about the play. Tauriel's mind, much to Kíli's relief, seemed to currently only involve the forest, bow and arrows, and him. That was at least until they reached up of the streams running through the trees. They were forced to stop and catch their breath. He looked at her, her chest moving up and down fast as she breathed heavily, her eyes were fixated on the other side. He moved closer to her and touched her arm and she wiped her head around to face him.

"Perhaps we should take a break, we've been at it for a while and you look tired." He gave her a smile but she shook her head. Parts of her flaming hair had slipped out of their braided restraints giving her a dishevelled appearance while her eyes were wide and wild.

"No, I have to continue." She stated and before he could say anything she rushed off, leaping over the stream with her long legs and continuing her run. It took him a few seconds to realise what happened, before Kíli turned to her and called out.

"Tauriel! Wait!" and rushed after her.

But his love didn't hear him and quickened her pace, shooting as she went. It was an exhilarating feeling, and with every arrow she shoot, it seemed as if more of her pain and emotions seemed to leave her body, making her feel satisfied. They had long since left the assigned path and movement had become more restricted, but that only seemed to fuel her more. She wanted to go faster, deeper, away from everything. Trees became denser, casting darkness over the forest, making it harder to see, and she started to trip more often. Kíli's calls and footsteps were gone and it seemed as if she was there alone. She went further and further, leaping and jumping until as she landed her foot catch with an sticking out root and she landed flat on the ground. Grinning to herself she stood up, brushing of the dirt from her clothes. Her grinning turned into laughter, and she looked at the trees she started to imagine a battlefield. She was surrounded by enemies who tried to obscure her path. Her laughter turned into sobbing, her breath hitching in her throat and a wave of fear washed over her. This change of sudden emotion seemed to activate her senses and her ears started to pick up all sorts of sounds. The drumming of footsteps, cracks and cries and her heart pounded in her chest. Her body told her to run and so she did, through the rows of dark clad enemies. She had to fight them, just like Boromir had, but she also had to flee. Fleeing away from the arrows, the guns and the bombs. The darkness started to get stronger, like someone who was losing their life. Had Boromir felt that way? Had he seen the light slip away from him? He must have fought against it, anyone would. Her parents had surely, just as Lemaril, Thranduil's wife, or Kíli's father Kaelin. Would she ever die that way? She didn't want to die that way, she didn't want anyone to die that way. She hated the darkness, she always had. As a child she had been terrified of the night. There had been a time when she would wake up in the night as a child and be completely terrified. She would cry and cry until someone came to comfort her. At first this had been her parents and then Thranduil, his long pale blonde hair casting a light around him. Legolas often insisted on them sharing a room as kids so that whenever she had a nightmare, he would be able to comfort her and cast away the darkness. She missed him. She missed all of them. She wanted them back, and wanted them to chase the darkness away. Something pulled her down to the ground. An enemy probably, dark arms extending towards her and she twisted around, trying to shake them off. She didn't want to be killed and dragged into the darkness, not like Boromir. She screamed, shielding herself as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Tauriel!"

"Get away from me!"

"Tauriel my love."

"Go away!"

"Open your eyes!"

"No!"

"Open your eyes dammit!"

"Leave me alone!" Something suddenly pulled her up into a sitting position and she crashed into something hard… a warm. Someone's breath surrounded her, their hair tickling her face and its hands smoothing her hair. That wasn't something enemies did. Carefully she opened her eyes. It was dark and she could barely make out the person sitting in front of her through her tears.

"Tauriel." The deep soothing voice of a man sounded familiar and he smelled like someone she knew.

"Tauriel… look at me." He softly lifted her head and she finally saw his warm brown eyes, surrounded by dark lashes. Stubble lined his jaw. How did he know her name?

"You're safe, you're safe with me, Tauriel. Wake up, it's just a dream, a nightmare." She blinked her eyes and suddenly the world seemed to come crashing down on her. She felt their bodies together, their limbs tangled up. She felt the leaves she was lying on and as she looked up she saw the outline of the trees. She was in a forest… Lothlórien Forest… training… the Academy… Kíli… Kíli!

"Kíli…?" She asked and his face appeared clearly in front of her this time.

"Yes, I am here." He was and joy filled her body. She was safe now.

"Kíli." And with that she pulled him towards her onto the ground. He rolled until she lay on top of him and held her tight, protectively in his arms as she cried.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry… I don't know what happened to me… I was lost… a battlefield…" she apologised and she felt embarrassment rise to her cheeks.

"Shush it's alright my love, everything is fine Amrâlimê." And he continued to stroke her hair until the last tears seemed to have left her body. He looked at her, happy that he had found her, he'd had been so afraid. The look she had given him right before she'd run away had told him she wasn't alright and that something was haunting her. That something of course wasn't hard to figure out. Boromir's death had shocked her and left her shake. His heart was breaking at the fact that she was so hurt. He had come to the realization that, though he knew her quite well already, there was still a lot about her that he didn't know about. As much as he didn't like Thranduil nor Legolas, this was definitely something he wanted to talk about. What was she so afraid of?

But that all would come later, right now he was just happy that she was back in his arms again. His arms pulled her closer to him and he placed a kiss on her temple. Then he pulled both of them up. Tauriel looked around her, finding her bow and quiver. She then turned to look at him, her hair falling in tangles around her. She smiled at him gratefully and he reached for her once more, taking her delicate hand in his own and kissing her hungrily and she kissed him back with equal force. As they parted panting she shivered. Without a second thought Kíli unzipped his jumper and put it on her. Then he placed his hand in the small of her back and started to lead her through the forest back to the Academy.

"I am sorry Kíli. This was supposed to be a fun time."

"It's fine Tauriel, really. It was stupid of me to think that some shooting would make you feel better."

"But it did," she protested, "at least in the beginning. What just happened wasn't you're fault, and I am sorry to make you worry." He looked up to her and smiled.

"I am just happy you're back."

"And I am happy you found me, my love." She smiled back.

After a while they reached the end of the forest and saw the lights of Lothlórien Academy. The sky had already grown dark, the stars and moon lightening up the night. Celeborn was relieved to see them come back. Had it been any later, he would have gathered a search party he told them. The couple apologised as they put back their weapons. All changed they walked hand in hand back to Kíli's bike.

"What were you thinking about?" Kíli asked her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She sighed softly looking at him with her wise, starlit green eyes.

"How unfair life can be."