Hermione swore under her breath as she tripped over another box. The place was full of them, unused props and costumes spilling out all over, every single one of them a trip hazard in the heels she was wearing.
She was going to fucking kill Draco.
He was waiting for her, his pale blond hair dimly illuminated by the one bare lamp that was providing light. She groped for his hand in the darkness.
"This is a ridiculous idea," she hissed, hoping he could sense her anger without seeing the glare she was giving him.
"It was your idea,"
"Yes but I didn't think we were actually going to do it!" Hermione began to raise her voice and felt a finger press itself to her lips in response.
"You were the one who had this hare brained idea of sex during the interval of our son's Nativity play. I'm the one who's making it happen without either of us getting arrested." Draco kept his tone even, he was slightly annoyed if not unsurprised by his wife's sudden cold feet.
This was not the first time he'd made her dream of 'more interesting sex' into a reality and she'd decided to back out. The stable at Scorpius' horseriding themed birthday party had left scars…both mental and straw related.
And the ice skating rink last year wasn't worth thinking about.
His voice lowered. "Is it not exciting you? Knowing that your all your friends are out there waiting for the second half of a Nativity play, not knowing that we're in here?
When her breath hitched, he knew that he had her. He reached up to run his hands through her hair and felt her nose bump against his own as she tried to find him in the dark.
"Well now that we are here, why don't we make the most of it?"
Hermione could hear Draco's attempt at smugness in every word but after five years of marriage she was now immune to his charm.
Almost immune, she thought as she reached over to unbutton his shirt. When she raked a nail over his chest he shivered and wrapped his hands around her waist. She tilted her head up and his lips met hers, she could feel his teeth biting into her lower lip and she reached round to pull his shirt down….
There was a blinding light as the wall they were leaning against gave way onto the stage and a hush fell over the audience who peered at a shirtless Draco and a thankfully still clothed Hermione.
"I thought we agreed a room." Hermione hissed, staring out into the crowd who were trying and failing not to stare back.
"How did I know that door didn't lead to a classroom?" Draco looked down at his bare chest and back into the crowd.
He gripped Hermione's hand.
"Smile." He forced through gritted teeth. "And wave."
They slowly waved and began to inch off stage. Between them, their celebrity status in the wizarding world was enough to shock people into silence and what began as a shuffle turned into a dash for privacy.
As soon as they were out of sight and the sound of chatter had resumed in the audience, Hermione, now a beetroot red, shot Draco a guilty look before straightening her skirt and practically running out of the room.
Probably off to concoct a wild explanation to give to Ginny and Padma, Draco thought, then shuddered when he realized Potter had just witnessed that little humiliation.
At least that would put an end to Hermione's dream of adventure for a while. Draco buttoned up his shirt then groaned as another realization hit him.
Scorpius was going to kill them both.