This is a parody song about Tsavong Lah and Jacen Solo meeting at Leia's office at the refugee settlement Gateway on Duro, where Leia lays badly hurt. This is from the New Jedi Order book "Balance Point" by Kathy Tyers (2000) The original song is 16 shots - by Stefflon Don (2017).
Swish and Whizz
Intro: (Door opening)
[Leia] "Go. Get away!"
[Nom Anor]"You! The craven one! I thought you remained on Bburru."
[Jacen Solo]"Let her go."
[Tsavong Lah]"Craven still. You stand there looking, instead of trying to strike us down. Look then, look well: Ambassador Organa Solo, straighten your spine and compose your face. Meet destiny with courage, and inspire this young cowaaaaa …"
[Jacen Solo]
No crab boy can tell me 'bout my mother
Swish and Whizz, we go longer than a ladder
Let's end idle talk cuz it really doesn't matter
See her body taken down with a garrote like Jabba
No Vong can diss me or my mother
And you ain't safe, despite your scale armour
Swish and Whizz, Da Jedi Force will make you shudder
Rah-ta, rah-ta
Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah
Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!
You couldn't be badder than Palpatine
Diss my mother then your scales start peel
So don't bother mess with my mommy
With my mommy, with my mommy
You think you're so bad, but it won't bring you gain
just the last in a line of hapless villains
Rap on, pop off, make you move like freak
You say I'm unworthy, now feel my good luck streak
They gon' put hands on my mom
They gon' unleash their biots on her
Eyes watchin' when I comin' through the door
What I'mma do, they ain't prepared for
No crab boy can tell me 'bout my mother
Swish and Whizz, we go longer than a ladder
Let's end idle talk cuz it really doesn't matter
See her body taken down with a garrote like Jabba
No Vong can diss me or my mother
And you ain't safe, despite your scale armour
Swish and Whizz, Da Jedi Force will make you shudder
Rah-ta, rah-ta
Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah
Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!
Da da da da!
It's my mother, you knowww!
You couldn't be madder than Joruus C'baoth
Diss my mother and turn mute like a trout
So don't bother mess with my mommy
With my mommy, with my mommy
Jah really think you bad, say you badder than me
When I start to fight, you won't ever find sleep
Pop on, cut off, make ya look like creep
You say I'm a craven, but brave I will be
They gon' put hands on my mom
They gon' unleash their biots on her
Eyes watchin' when I comin' through the door
What I'mma do, they ain't prepared for
No crab boy can tell me 'bout my mother
Swish and Whizz, we go longer than a ladder
Let's end idle talk cuz it really doesn't matter
See her body taken down with a garrote like Jabba
No Vong can diss me or my mother
And you ain't safe, despite your scale armour
Swish and Whizz, Da Jedi Force will make you shudder
Rah-ta, rah-ta
Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah
Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!
(Kah, ka ka ka ka ka)
[Tsavong Lah]You are beneath me. You are not worthy to die at my hand.
Get 1 swish, for venomizing Belkadan
Get 2 whizz, for the death of Chewbacca
Get 3 swish, for carving up Sernpidal
Get 4 whizz, for betrayal of your agent Elan
Get 5 shot, for anyone your boys did harm
Straight, Force thump, ya must drop
out of the window for whatever you've done
[Jaina Solo]We will get ya wherever you are
[Jacen Solo] No crab boy can tell me 'bout my mother
Swish and Whizz, we go longer than a ladder
Falling into da Force, Yeah! It really does matter
See her body taken down with a garrote like Jabba
No Vong can diss me or my mother
And I will save her, Jedi don't need armour
Swish and Whizz, Da Force will heal her no matter
Rah-ta, rah-ta
Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah
Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!
[Tsavong Lah]I will reward - with special gifts - the person who brings me the Jeedai with whom I especially wish to speak. Give me Jacen Solo … alive! So that I may give him to the gods!
[Jacen Solo]No crab boy can tell me 'bout my mother
Swish and Whizz, we go longer than a ladder
Just give a Kriff about what they jabber
Star by star they're blowing out like bludder
No Vong can diss me or my mother
And you ain't safe, watch your peeled off scale armour
Swish and Whizz, Da Jedi Force will make you flutter
Rah-ta, rah-ta
Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah
Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!