A/N: Not much to say on this one, just a young woman feeling the marriage and baby pressure. I hope you enjoy the new chapters! I should have the next chapters up here pretty soon, and just a small reminder that for the purposes of this story they are all equivalent to being in their early twenties, with Guaraha being a couple years older than Meru.

Enjoy adults learning how to be adults and learning how they feel about things.

Happy new year!

Tolten

Reader Discretion is advised

Content warning: blatant sexism.

Chapter 3: Roles

After another day and another dry lesson on history and, of course, the dreaded lecture of family roles and bearing of children, Meru was once more left tightlipped and rigid in anger. Guaraha carried on easily in comparison, as the table had been referring to him as 'young master' while she became 'young mistress'. It was an exhausting lunch conversation that lasted longer than it ought to. Once the families were satisfied they went on their separate ways with Guaraha and Meru who were both now doomed, she thought, to being dreadfully pressed with all the unsolicited advice and criticism one could imagine over the coming months, and longer after that. Around the village the stares and knowing smiles grew with intensity, and the whispers and comments even louder.

The sun was already setting and the cool humidity of night seeping in all around them when they finally escaped the confines of the discussion and the two waited in silence on the wide stone steps, waiting on their parents. Guaraha had offered her a hand which she promptly refused, and it earned her a sour look.

"Meru its been a week since we've become decided by the elder, and the village approves of our closeness. I'm your friend of good lineage and offer you much, so why is it that you refuse me now?"

"They paired us when we were young, Guaraha, it is by design that we've become decided, not choice." She answered quietly, shaking her head, "You are my friend, but still a man… I don't know where to begin."

Guaraha stared at her, searching for the right thing to say. Being practical, he finally found something, "If you're concerned about bearing my children, you don't need to be. My lineage is potent and your hips are of good stock, we are wellsuited for the task."

She gaped at him, heat rising up in her pale cheeks, "You speak of me as if I am some animal, some mountain cat!"

"I speak of the truth, Meru, it's our duty to our people." He scoffed, "As the elder has said we are a strong union, one which he has yet to see for awhile. We will do well to stave our people from dying out!"

"We have been dying out for eleven thousand years! And still we remain stuck in time, dwindling and afraid."

He clenched his fists and spoke in his most authoritative voice to her, and she was immediately aware of it, "That's enough. What's done is done, we are paired to become one and provide. You have to accept that I speak for the both of us now, Meru."

Anger roiled within her gut, blossoming soon to her chest, her throat, and she clenched her jaw to keep it contained. Her face and eyes were hot as she burned against him, and yet he did not feel it. The women of her village were always to be silent, dutiful. Obedient. She measured out a breath before speaking carefully to contain her scorn.

"I will speak for myself."

The decision was not hers to make, it never was. Her childhood friend, now decided young master, shook his head.

Their quarrel simmered as their parents came out to meet them, and the two quietly followed down the darkening mossy path. The distance between them grew as they slowed behind, bare feet prodded every so often within the cushioned moss by an offending pebble. Rock fireflies slowly danced and flickered in the surrounding trees around them, and the crickets chirped their courtship. Guaraha put her words behind them and steeled himself as they continued down the path. He had meant to tell her his true feelings at the springs, and wanted to be completely open with her and the truth about his feelings. 'Since we are to unite on this path I may as well just say it' he figured. He had to say it now, she had the right to at least hear it, maybe it would help her be less angry with him.

"Meru I need to say something. What I wanted to say back at the springs the other day… what I want to say all days… Is that I want to be with you."

Still angry, she only stared at him in silence. Meru wasn't sure what to say to him, what could she even say? Was his confession really what he had wanted to say all of this time? Did he really want to be with her or was he just saying so? And how did she feel, would they really be able to do this? She doubted him in her anger. Her voice failed her.

"I want to be with you, I want to have you, to hold you, to love you and see our children grow as we grow old together."

The silence stretched on for a moment, the rock fireflies sparkling all around them and for another familiar moment they felt alone together... all this time he had built up to admit his feelings to her and the words didn't do any of it justice, but he finally said it. Meru stood there, throat clogged with words she didn't know how to say.

"I just wanted you to hear it, but then…" he waived his arm back towards the Elder's home.

She nodded, of course, understanding at once.

'But then everything had happened.'

Sighing, he turned and walked after his parents, and she was left barefooted in the cool moss, screaming inside to do something-anything except stand there feeling some horrible mix of being trapped, powerless and suddenly alone. Meru lay in her bed that night with a strange feeling rolling around inside of her, the dread of being pushed into stifled captivity with the man she so presently loved the most.

A/N: What did you think? Comment below!

UPDATED 11/10/20