The Bench

"Sometimes...things just are what they are...no matter how much you fight - shit happens."

Outside St. Agatha's Home for Lost Souls

For nearly a week, he waited on that bench for her, and she didn't show. By the next adoption day, he'd almost figured she was never coming back.

Then she appeared beside him and commanded, "Walk with me."

They walked and Jill, wearing a white t-shirt, jean jacket, and khakis, spoke quietly, "I was let go from the B.S.A.A. this morning."

He paused. She kept walking. When he realized she wasn't going to do the same, he fell into step beside her again. "Do I want to ask why?"

"Why else?" She shrugged, "Failure to perform to standard—the necessity of the fight versus my recovery. I failed two simulations because I couldn't execute fake children-turned-monsters fast enough. They basically let me know it was for my own good."

The turning leaves behind her let Leon know it was Autumn or nearly so. She looked soft and pretty with the gold and red beyond her shoulders. Her hair was loosely gathered in a sloppy knot behind her head. She didn't look anything but resolute.

He waited for a beat and remarked, "You helped found it. How can they just kick you out?"

"Majority vote." Jill held his eyes. "I want you to hire me."

If she'd asked him to slap her or fuck her in broad daylight while anyone could see them, he wouldn't have been more surprised. He kept her gaze with his as he considered, "You want me to hire you?"

She gave him a droll look, "I do. I'm not useless. I'm in recovery. I can still fight. I need someone to take a chance on me. You seem like the type to do it. So, what do you say?"

Leon waited a few moments before he responded, "Alright. But I'm a shitty boss. The pay is garbage, and the people are rude. There's a good chance you'll end up dead under my command."

Jill shrugged and started walking again. "So? There was a greater chance I'd end up dead under Chris. At least you'd give a fuck if I went down under you."

Damn.

Leon froze. His brows winged up. Jill found him missing beside her and turned back to face him. He held her look until she flushed a little. "...that...was unfair. And also bitter. I'm sorry."

Leon shook his head. He approached her and caught her arms above the elbow. "Bitter, hell yeah. But wrong? No. He has a reputation, Jill, and not a good one lately. He leads thoughtlessly and recklessly. If you step out of the way, I'm not sure what happens to him. You might have been the one vote against his on any large-scale decisions."

"I was outmaneuvered, Leon. Badly. I walked into that room, and they made sure I knew what I was worth -nothing." She held his gaze, "Someone told me to believe I was worth more than that. If they want me out, I'm out. But that doesn't mean I'm worthless. He won't take my worth that easily. He took three years of my life and became a fucking god when I was gone. I came back a shadow. That ends now. Hire me; I won't let you down."

Holding her eyes, he simply said, "Done."

"Good." She blew out a breath. "Let's get a hotdog."

Amused, he let go of her arms to follow her. She bought him a hotdog, dumped enough onions on it to ensure his eyes watered, and handed it to him. He stared at it and back at her face, "Why do I feel like this is a thinly veiled attempt to avoid a kiss?"

Jill shook her head and looked around the street. "How did I get here, Leon? One day I was making a difference...the next, I was dead. I came back, but I never really came back. Is this it? Is this all there is for me? A trip to a bench and a backstabbing by the people I'd died to protect."

He set the hotdog down and turned toward her. "No. That's not it. How you got here? That's because you're fucking balls to the wall, brave. You did your job and protected your partner. The rest is just shitty luck. So, you get to decide what happens now."

She held his look, and he demanded, "What do you want, Jill?"

She started walking, and he fell into step beside her. He paused at the base of her apartment stairs, and she invited, "Come on. Come up."

Curious, he followed her up the stairs. She keyed them into her flat on the third floor. It was sparse, decorated in a Spartan style he understood: a couch, a couple of pillows, a rather sad-looking Barcalounger beside a small kitchenette.

Jill kicked some shoes out of her way as she walked. She was a bit of a messy soul, apparently. She had clothes tossed over the couch and shoes scattered around like butterflies marking the line of death. The kitchen looked tidy, which relieved him. So messy, not sloppy.

She tossed her keys in a bowl by the door and moved into the kitchen. She gathered two glasses and a bottle of whiskey and joined him in the living room. As she poured, she announced, "A drink to a new alliance."

He tapped glasses with her, and she shot hers back with a hiss and a shiver. Impressed, Leon did the same. He gritted his teeth and blew out a breath. "What shit is this?"

Amused, Jill remarked, "That's cheap whiskey, Kennedy. Not familiar with it?"

He laughed. "You devil woman. You know I'm a Macallan man."

She shook her head, "Well, it's Jim Beam tonight, brutha. Objections?"

"None. Hit me." He offered his glass, and she dumped two fingers in.

When they were sitting on her tiny balcony with the bottle between them on the table, Jill announced, "You expect betrayal by the bad guys...you never expect it from your former friends."

He glanced at her face in the fall twilight. "Former?"

"Oh, yeah. You burn some bridges, and there's no going back. He made it clear where we stand. I made peace with him dismissing my recovery. He shoved that aside and ignored it. He didn't listen. He never listens, so that was no surprise. But to oust me, in public, in front of everyone...like damaged goods..."

She trailed off and shook her head. "Son of a bitch. He just stood there and made it all seem so fucking easy. At least Barry had the grace to look abashed."

Leon studied her and remarked, "You could retire."

She met his eyes over the table and returned, "No. I'm not done. Not even close. I told Wesker I'd make damn sure everything he ever touched burned in hell beside him. I meant it."

Across the park, you could just glimpse the home for lost souls. The kids were in the playground and having a great time. She considered and stated, "If I was going to retire, I'd adopt both Jill and Leon."

He swirled his glass, "Maybe that's how you move on, Jill. You just - do it. Leave the fight to the rest of us who are still trying to figure out how to finish it and get out. Nobody would blame you. Open a bar. Become a teacher. Do something you want."

Jill laughed lightly. "Hell no. Someday maybe. But after the week I've had? I'm going to beat Chris to the goddamn goal. While he's out there punching shit, I'm gonna slip in behind him and steal his glory."

Leon smirked. "That's not noble, Valentine. That's hubris."

She saluted him with her glass. "Good. I hope he chokes on his."

She toasted the shadow of Redfield as she threw back another glass. Tongue in cheek, Leon remarked, "So much for love."

Jill gave him a sideways look. "So much for friendship."

He studied her, "You said you don't drink."

She rose from the table and informed him, "I lied. Come inside."

He followed her into the living room. She set the glass down on the little counter of her kitchenette. She faced him and said, "Before I met you, I was pretty sure the world was full of two types of people...those who die and those who kill them."

Leon tilted his head, and she added, "Who are you? You're a guy who calls a girl back on a roof he barely knows and invites her to share in his sadness. You play music for kids and buy them shoes. You suck at Skeeball and know just how to get a person on edge to open up. Who are you?"

He shrugged, "A lost soul. How do you think I found my way to that bench?"

Jill blew out a hard breath and announced, "I've killed over three hundred people."

He waited. He kept looking at her. He said nothing.

She raised her hands and spread them, palms up and out. "Nothing?"

"Is that it? Should I ring a bell? A gong? Fall over and run away in shock? What?"

"I'm a murderer."

He laughed now. "So am I. So what? What I did, I did under my own power. You? You had no choice, Jill. You think I'm gonna stand here and fling guilt at you about it? On paper, I'm a good guy. I save the innocent. I kill bad guys. But those bad guys? They have families. They have kids and wives and mothers. I put a bullet between their eyes and orphan their kids."

Jill volleyed her gaze around his face as he added, "Yeah. I've put bullets in my friends, comrades, and my goddamn team when they turn. What do they call me?"

She held his look before she murmured, "The Executioner."

"Yeah. I'm a killer. A goddamn good one. It's who I am." He threw back the rest of his whiskey and set the glass on the little coffee table beside him. "Just because the intent is good doesn't make it selfless, Jill. I carry around those I've killed, those I've lost, and those I've failed to save like ghosts that haunt me. Eventually, I'll come up against something better, faster, stronger...and I'll join them all in the void that comes after I'm dead. That's it. That's all there is."

Jill shook her head, "It doesn't have to be for you. Don't you get it? Can't you see it? You're the best of us, Leon. The best. Because under that armor you wear, you're good. You believe. You fight for hope. The rest of us? We fight because we just can't stop."

He denied that and scoffed, "Damnit, Jill. You think that's all there is to you? Empty fucking dedication and drive? You think you're in this because you can't stop? You can stop any time you want. Just stop. Put down the gun and leave it there. Get a life and get out and go on."

She held his eyes. "It doesn't work that way."

"No? Why? A vow? Fuck the vow. This is your life. Yours. What you do with it has to be your choice, or else you're just faking it."

"Is it yours? Is this what you want, Leon? A constant battle without end? Are you happy?"

They locked eyes, and it sparked between them. She tilted her head, "Are you? If it's so easy, why don't you do it? Get out. I'll follow you. What do you say?"

He lit up a cigarette and stepped out onto the balcony again. Jill followed him and leaned on the railing beside him. "Not so easy, is it?"

"I give good advice," He admitted, "I suck at taking it."

"Me too." Jill glanced at the trees shedding their leaves near the park. "So it becomes a matter of what comes next. I think...I can make a difference with whatever is left of me."

He glanced down at her, and she encouraged, "I think you found me on that roof because the universe...it knew I needed something to fight for—something to believe in. I don't know if I believe in good over evil anymore, and I think part of me died that still believes in justice...but I believe in you. What you do. How you do it. What you fight for. I believe in it. And I haven't believed in anything in so long that I was pretty sure I was dead inside."

Leon studied her face in the twilight and coaxed, "I think you're hitching your wagon to a loser here, sweetheart. Fair warning."

"No, I'm not. I'm getting into the fight beside a warrior. Win or lose, at least I know the person beside me will go out that window right behind me."

When he kept looking at her, Jill told him, "Every time I pulled the trigger or set the match or thrust the knife, I promised myself I'd find a way to pay it back, pay it forward, and avenge it. You showing up when I needed you? That was the universe telling me that I do that beside you."

Leon and Jill shared a long look before he finally returned, "...welcome aboard, Jill Valentine."

He offered his hand, and she gripped two handfuls of his jacket instead. The smooth leather whispered as she pulled him down. He turned into her, pinning her to the railing as she arched up.

No sweet kiss now. It was complete and ripe. He gripped the railing on either side of her hips and met the eager taste of her.

A good kiss.

And the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

When it ended, he murmured, "I don't usually suck face with women who work for me."

Pinned to the railing, she teased, "I probably won't sue."

He chuckled, studying her up-tipped face in the soft light of evening. "Thank god."

Jill sparkled as she cooed, "So...what now?"

He considered her and remarked, "I should go."

Her brows winged up, and she tilted her head, "Oh? Why? Somewhere better to be?"

"No." His gaze shifted to her mouth. "If I stay, I'm gonna wanna invite you to bed. Seeing as this is your place, I kinda think that's rude."

Jill gripped his jacket and gnawed her lower lip before she sighed, "You're right. Let's take a walk."

He didn't even try to woo her to bed. Amused, she walked beside him toward the bench. They claimed their spots and watched the kids waving to those who'd found new families.

Little Leon and Little Jill were still there and waiting for their new home. Jill slid against his side until Leon draped an arm around her shoulders. She sighed, "Will they ever find what they're looking for, I wonder?"

He smiled in semi-darkness. "I like to think so...and maybe they do it...together."

"A nice thought." She tilted her head against his shoulder. "How did we get here, Leon?"

He laid his cheek on her head and mused, "Maybe we finally got lucky."

Jill smiled a little. "I used to be so sure of where I was headed. When you found me...I was so lost...I never imagined it would be the best thing that could've happened."

He sighed. "That's usually when you find yourself, Jill. When you finally give up trying to be whatever the world thinks you should. When you just...let go. You meet somebody, and you realize maybe...you were just waiting for the right person to come along to remind you."

"...remind you what?"

"That there's a difference between being alive and living. When you live for just you...you're just surviving. When you find somebody worth living for...maybe that's what it means to really be alive."

Jill leaned on his arm and closed her eyes. She listened to his heartbeat and invited, "Tell me something."

"About?"

"You. Tell me about you."

He shifted slightly and laughed, "I have a nine-inch cock."

She slapped his chest. "Pervert...and really?"

Now he chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "No comment. Tell me about you, Jill. I'm always talking. Tell me about Jill."

She sighed. "Jill was fat in grade school."

He nodded. "How fat? Cartman fat? Or Homer Simpson fat?"

"Little girl fat. When she grew boobs, it helped. Puberty finished the job."

"Ah. What about her first kiss?"

"Oh, that was truly awful. Jumping through the sprinkler with the neighbor boy. He smoked alot. He kissed me and tasted like cigarettes."

Lips pursed, Leon decided, "Not your thing, huh?"

She smiled. "On you it is. I do it too, so who am I to judge? Young Jill, she would have judged."

"Young Leon would've joined her."

Jill mused, "Young Jill cried after the kiss."

Surprised, he glanced at her face, "Because it was so bad?"

"Because she felt shame. Can you imagine? Shame for kissing a boy."

Charmed, Leon looked introspective, "Young Leon was seventeen before a girl let him kiss her."

Jill gave him a look of doubt, and he affirmed, "Oh, yeah. Seventeen. I was a late bloomer."

She twitched her mouth, "How old was Young Leon when he finally had himself a girl?"

With a chuckle, Leon told her, "Seventeen. Maureen Malone - the back of a Buick, panties pushed to the side, three thrusts - finito."

Jill winced comically, "Poor Leon."

"Ah, he didn't care. He got his. He escorted Maureen home and kissed her goodnight like a gentleman."

Humming in her blood a little, Jill encouraged, "And did he call Maureen again?"

"...of course. Maureen, however, was not interested in another date."

Jill laughed, shivering with it. "Oof. Poor Young Leon. Not his best five minutes."

"Apparently, not. Young Jill?"

"Ah...she was nineteen."

His brows winged up as she added, "Oh, yeah. Boot camp for the Army. A handsome boy, a lot of flirting, and five minutes in the latrine. Not her best moment."

"...was it a clean latrine?"

Jill laughed and shook her head, "Of course. She had to scrub it nightly with toothbrushes."

"Ouch. I bet Young Jill was...something in that latrine."

She glanced up at his face, "Are you flirting again?"

"Depends...are you interested in seeing my latrine?"

Jill shook her head and slapped his chest lightly, "Old Leon is a bit of a pervert."

"He is. But, to be fair, he's almost a eunuch, remember? The flirting is harmless. Until the girls start wanting more - then he panics and runs away."

"A coward at the core."

"Seems that way." He smiled down at her, "You like Old Leon?"

Jill held his eyes and returned, "Sometimes. He's sweet and stupid...but he sticks around when he should have run. So, I think you're not giving him enough credit."

"Some people think he's a genius."

She slid a finger over those crinkled lines beside his left eye as she hummed, "Hmm. I might agree with them."

He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her palm, endearing himself to her. She laid her head on his shoulder and wondered how she'd gotten here. Just by showing up, it seemed. Two people with nothing and no one else in the world waiting for them. They might have never met if it wasn't for a rainy night without hope.

Quietly, Jill queried, "Why were you on the roof that night?"

He was silent for so long that she feared he wouldn't answer. But he did and surprised her, "It was my Mother's birthday."

And there it was. He was up there mourning, and so was she. Two lost souls looking for anything worth holding on for.

Softly she stated, "Old Leon is a good man."

He shifted his arm around her shoulders and squeezed a little, "I hope so. I like to think his mother would be proud."

"Without a doubt." She sighed. Curious, she wondered, "How old is old Leon?"

"Guess."

She sighed. "Thirty?"

"Close. I turn thirty-one on Friday."

Surprised, she glanced up at his face. "...you should have told me. You want a cake?"

He snorted. "No."

"A party?"

"Hell no."

Her lips twitched. "How about a spanking for each year you've been alive?"

His eyes sparkled. "Mmm. That's a lot of spankings. I think I'd regret saying yes."

She shook her head and invited, "So, what? What do you want?"

He held her gaze and stated, "The kids will be getting ready for Halloween. So, maybe you meet me here, and we watch."

Jill shook her head, "That's all you want...just me and this bench?"

Without missing a beat, he replied, "That's it. You, me, and this bench."

"You're a cheap date."

He grinned, and his eyes crinkled in the corners. She laughed, and he leaned in to press a kiss on her forehead. "Only for you, Valentine. Only for you."

She tilted her head, "You wanna head back?"

And he simply said, "Not yet."

So she put her head back on his shoulder and just sat there until they were both ready to go.

She knew they should both get up and move, but she wasn't ready...not yet.