VGS2's sausage notes: Remember meeee, Eddie!? :D
Naw, seriously, I'll bet you forgot this side fic existed, didn't you? XP Well, I haven't updated it with much lately, so I can't blame ya. Sorry!
This time round, the one-shot got long enough for me to turn it into a two-shot! Whenever that happens, I'll put a letter next to the number, so you know which one-shots are related. It shouldn't be too confusing, but I hope you get me!
Story 4a: The Damp Distractions
(Best to read this after chapter 11 (The Uncomfortable Truths))
Swadloon smiled softly. For the past twenty or so minutes, she'd been with her teammates - Trap Spinarak and No-Nonsense Charjabug - and Surprise Slugma of Team Nurture, showing the guild's newcomer, Wallflower Buneary, around the guild.
Sadly, while showing off the bulletin floor, the discussion had turned fairly dark, with an explanation on outlaws and renegades. The poor rabbit had needed to hear about them, though. She'd seemed rather innocent to their existence, so it had been an important discussion, even if not a very pleasant one.
Thankfully, the atmosphere was comfortable once again, now that the topic had mostly passed. Save for Buneary's mention of some idiot who had apparently burgled Punishment Whimsicott earlier, and a mention of some gang of thieves in Drenched Bluff. Tsk... so many outlaws these days. What was the world coming to?
... Swadloon's eyes opened wide. Wait... a gang of thieves in Drenched Bluff? So right outside the guild, ready to mug her guildmates!?
She decided to ask, just for clarification. "Wait... a gang of thieves? In the bluff?"
"Oh? Uh... yeah," Buneary replied, looking slightly surprised at the outburst. "They called themselves the 'Water-Rock Gang', and lured me into a monster house. They nearly beat me up and stole my stuff, but a trap knocked them out and saved me..." She paused. "They, um... do they count as outlaws?"
"If they're trying to mug you, then sure!" Swadloon replied, frowning. Great, so there was a time limit, too. If she waited for them to get back to full strength, dealing with them would be even more troublesome.
She knew what she had to do. "Nothing for it, then. I'm going to go and stop them before they cause any more trouble," she continued.
"That... isn't necessary," Charjabug said quickly, looking slightly alarmed. "We can wait until after-"
"No time to wait! If they've fainted already, I need to take action before they strike again!" She rushed towards the stairs and jumped down the hole in the middle.
Before hitting the ground, she summoned a barrier with Protect. It absorbed the brunt of the impact on hitting the ground, leaving her unharmed.
Dissipating it, she hopped towards the elevator in large bounds, ready to tackle that gang of villains!
Spinarak sighed to himself while dragging himself along the ceiling of the bathroom, his bag on his back and his badge on his chest. 'Stay home from adventuring and help out with cooking!' he'd told himself. 'I could just laze about and let the others handle it!' he'd added.
Well, fat chance, apparently. Fate wanted him to go exploring, whether he liked it or not. How great!
He clicked his tongue. Oh well. At least the newbie seemed really pleasant, if nothing else. He had no doubts in his mind she was going to run into trouble some day, being as naive and optimistic as she was, but hey. Hopefully she'd be less meek by then, so she could handle it.
He grinned. On that note, it was decided. He had to prank the crud out of her as soon as possible. Toughen her up a bit. That's the excuse he'd use, anyway.
He glanced up... or rather, down at the two pokémon below him. Both had their bags and badges, and both were as untalkative as ever, though for different reasons, Spinarak supposed.
That said, when they clambered over to the elevator room, Charjabug spoke up. "Just as I suspected. She did not take the time to close the door."
Spinarak dropped down from the ceiling to land on his feet. "Well, good job no one decided to sneak in, the five minutes we spent getting ready, eh?" he replied.
Charjabug crawled toward the lever that called the elevator back. "All the same, I will have to remind her, later."
Slugma rolled her eyes for some sassy reason or another. Spinarak didn't really know, but he agreed, either way.
The elevator started upwards towards the group. It wouldn't take too long to reach them, but Spinarak decided to kill the silence, anyway. "Sooo, let's talk strategy. Isabella and the criminals. How're we finding 'em?" he asked, deciding that he may as well use his cheeky name for Swadloon, since Slugma knew, anyway.
"I'm glad you asked," Charjabug replied. He indicated towards the bag attached to his side. "In my bag, I have several orbs and wands with which to make the job easier."
"Huh, 'kay. Well, what sorts are we talking, here? I doubt there's a 'the bad guys lose, and we find our team leader before her ass gets whipped' orb in there."
"You're right, sadly. Nor was I able to gather together many items that can help against both problems on such short notice."
Slugma gave a worried frown. Spinarak agreed wholeheartedly.
"However, hope is not lost," Charjabug continued. "I have, in my bag, a radar orb. It will cause all pokémon on the floor to 'bleep' periodically for about ten minutes or so."
Spinarak grinned. "Ahh, I see. So if we listen out for an especially loud noise, we'll find those water-rock chumps, eh?" he asked.
"If they're all bundled in the same location, that is the plan, yes."
Slugma nodded happily. Her eyes suddenly widened.
"What's up? Not liking it?" Spinarak asked her.
Slugma shook her head.
"... Sooo, is that 'no, I like it' or 'no, I'm not liking it'?" He snickered. "C'mon, girl, we don't speak nothing-ese."
She silently giggled and gave him a sassy look. She reached into the bag against her side with her mouth and pulled out an orb as orange as her body. Spitting it on the ground, she did the same two more times, leaving three on the floor in total.
Spinarak and Charjabug took a look at them. Within the glass, they had lots of swirly-patterned triangles moving back and forth, bumping into each other by their tips.
... Spinarak had no idea what it did. "... So yeah, we're gonna turn the enemy into triangles, is that what you're telling me?" he asked jokingly.
Slugma silently laughed and shrugged playfully.
"Well, great. Should make things way easier, let's do it!" he continued, making her laugh more.
Even Charjabug huffed in amusement. He soon went neutral again, though. "All jokes aside, I believe this is a rollcall orb. Used to bring all allies within range over to the user," he explained.
Slugma nodded happily in response.
"Ohh, right, right, I get'cha," Spinarak said. Starting to put some pieces together, he grinned. "Well, now I know that, I think I'm getting ya, Maggy. We're gonna split up and find either the bandits, or ol' Isabella, right? Then we'll use a rollcall orb to all get together!"
Slugma nodded eagerly. She crawled onto the elevator platform, which had locked into place upon arrival, whilst they'd been talking.
Also moving onto the elevator, Charjabug frowned lightly. "Hmm... it is hard to agree with this plan. If we are travelling alone, there is more risk of falling to a wild pokémon, or a trap. Honestly, I think we should use one as soon as possible to summon Swadloon and travel as a pack."
Slugma frowned disappointedly at his reasoning.
Spinarak clicked his tongue. "Boring but practical as always, eh?" he snarked.
Charjabug let out an annoyed huff. "You know that I do not enjoy unnecessary risk. We should always use whatever safe, easy method is available."
Spinarak walked onto the elevator. "Well... alright, I'm with ya on the easy part. But screw it, it'll take a thousand frigging years trawling through this place, all four of us. You really think we'll find those water stone jerks before it's too late to make dinner?"
Charjabug paused before he could pull the elevator lever. "... Hmm..." He groaned. "Damn. I hate to say it, but I suppose you're right. It's a risk either way, isn't it?"
Slugma nodded eagerly. She leaned against Charjabug's side and fluttered her eyelashes at him while pulling puppy-dog eyes.
Charjabug looked at her in bewilderment, making Spinarak snicker. "Aww, can you refuse such a heartfelt request from such a cute girl?" the spider asked jokingly.
Charjabug let out a heavy breath. He moved away from her and gave the lever a hard tug, causing the platform to lower. "Very well... I suppose fighting enemies one on one is a better way to train, anyway," he relented.
Slugma beamed brightly and hopped up and down in a girly manner. Easy to tell she appreciated it.
Also pleased, Spinarak grinned happily. "Hey, you're not a permanent stick in the mud after all, Zipper!" he said. He winked. "I mean, it took some yanking to free ya, but..."
"... Thanks," Charjabug said, the sarcasm running strong.
"Hey, doll, I'm gonna rough you up, big time!" an armaldo said gruffly, putting his claws on his hips in a poor attempt to look tough. "Whaddya say 'bout that?"
"Know what? I think you're wasting my time and yours," Swadloon replied, frowning. "Stand aside!"
The giant insect was taken aback. "W-Well, uh..." He frowned back and ran towards her. Glowing spikes extended from his claws, tearing colorful trails of light into the air behind him. "No! No way! Here it comes, dollface!"
Swadloon took on a battle stance. Ughh, wild pokémon were such a pain.
She brought up a barrier with Protect before the armaldo could slash at her with what she guessed was Crush Claw. He took swipe after swipe to no avail.
He kept going for a small while. Eventually, he growled and paused, seemingly wondering what to do about his lack of progress.
Taking the opening, she dropped her barrier and fired a thick stream of string at his legs, sticking them together in a wad of white gunk.
"W-What the-!? Hey, you stupid bitch!" he yelled. He went for another swipe at her, claw now metallic.
Huffing smugly, she brought up another barrier. Just before his claw made contact, she released her barrier's energy, expanding it.
The force of the expansion knocked him backwards. With his legs tied, he could do nothing but topple over backwards. "Fuuuuuck!" he yelled, crashing violently.
She huffed again, this time in satisfaction. Good. Hopping over him, she continued down the caves, quickly bounding through.
"Hey, get back here! I'm not finished with you!" the armaldo yelled after her. She ignored him.
She travelled for a fair while through the soggy tunnels. In her haste, she stumbled on moss many times, but she managed to avoid falling over and hurting herself.
Eventually, growing tired from her frantic hopping, she slowed to a walk. Yeesh... come to think of it, where were those criminals, anyway? Buneary hadn't mentioned anywhere specific.
It was unlikely Buneary had gone to any of the lower floors or higher floors, being as meek as she seemed, so it had to be on this floor... but where?
"Hm. I wonder where you're headed off to in such a hurry?" someone said nearby in a rather smooth voice.
Surprised, Swadloon twirled on the spot to face the speaker. When she saw who it was, she found herself surprised. "Oh? Kakuna?" she asked.
"Must be urgent if you don't care much about if you slip on moss or not," the fellow bug, Treehugging Kakuna, continued.
"Well... I'm trying to track down some criminals," Swadloon replied, getting straight to the point. "Our new recruit managed to make them faint with a trap, so now it's up to me to find them and round them up before they head off!"
"Well, I guess that does sound important." He indicated in a general direction with a pincer. "I was just off to meet up with Octillery. I've already hailed him from the top of the bluff, so he'll be here soon enough. Mind waiting for some help?"
She shook her head. "Thanks, but I can't! If those criminals manage to fix themselves up before I get there, it'll be a hassle. So I've got to find them ASAP!"
"Heh. Sounds like you to rush off into certain danger. Well, suit yourself." He reached into the treasure bag he had on him and pulled out a blue wonder orb. It had an image of a three-pointed shape - not unlike a triangle - floating about inside, scanning dots. "At least take this with you, so you know where you're going."
Swadloon tilted her head. "A... scanner orb?" she asked. "What's your plan?"
"You said they're criminals, right? If they're worth their salt as thieves, they should have lots of stolen goods on them. Know what I'm getting at?"
Swadloon's eyes widened in understanding. Oh, yes, that made sense! The scanner orb would allow her to see any and all items in the dungeon for a while. And if those thieves had lots of things on them, then... "I see! Very clever, Kakuna, thank you!" she praised.
He huffed in what seemed like pride, though it was hard to tell with him. "It's alright. Though... if you're up to the task, I think letting me have some of their goods is sufficient payment."
"That's the catch, is it?" she asked dryly. Of course... what an opportunist. "Fine, I'll make sure you get something in return, as thanks."
He nodded. "Spectacular. I'll leave you to it, then."
"Be seeing you! Oh, but first..." She held the orb aloft. It shined brightly, then shattered harmlessly.
Looking around to confirm, she was happy to see glowing silhouettes of various things through the walls at different distances. She could even see items above and below her, on the other floors. This would certainly be useful!
Looking at Kakuna, she noticed he was studying his surroundings, too. Clearly the orb had also affected him.
"Well, hope that helps," he said. He turned and started hopping away. "Don't get knocked out before we come save you, alright?"
"I won't. Count on it!"
As Kakuna rounded a corner, Swadloon got to work on trying to locate the biggest hoard of items she could find. He was right in that monster houses often had lots of items lying about in the area they were occupying, even ones made by bandits. Something about it being a trap for other pokémon, or simply an example of wild pokémon being rather messy, according to Snorlax.
After a while of looking around, she found what she was looking for. Lots of items seemed to be in the same room somewhere on the other side of the floor, all spread out near each other. That was promising!
She set out to go there at once.
Spinarak scanned the caves as he walked through them. On the walls, naturally. Sure, it was annoying trying to stick to the soggy surfaces... but whatever stopped him from having to fight wild pokémon was fine by him. Besides, the cave walls had a rough texture, so it wasn't too difficult. Just difficult enough to be a pain in his smiling backside.
He listened carefully as he went. He hadn't heard a thing yet. A sure sign that Charjabug was still delaying on using the radar orb. All because he didn't want to 'alert the enemy to their intentions of looking for them' or whatever it was he had said. Seemed a bit paranoid, but it was exactly the sort of thing Charjabug would worry over, so what could a poor spider do, other than complain and wish he was in bed? Not much, sadly.
Still moving, he rummaged through his bag to see if he could find a good scarf or something to wear. He hadn't had much time to prepare properly, so he would have to make do with whatever he'd brought along on his last adventure.
He found some glasses after enough rummaging. They looked like a venonat's eyes, complete with the antennae... meaning it was a pair of x-ray specs.
He smirked. Oh-ho, now this was useful! Wearing them would make him look like a nerd... but the trade off was that it would give him the ability to see through solid objects. Sure, it would only be one wall at a time, but that sure was better than none at a time!
He slipped them on and looked around. Sadly, he didn't see anything immediately useful. Mostly just empty tunnels, or wild pokémon milling about aimlessly.
Undeterred, he kept glancing about, either looking for Swadloon or someone who looked like a criminal. Whatever he found first, he welcomed it, if it meant less aimless wandering.
Crawling through the caves, now wearing his gray defense scarf, Charjabug frowned to himself. He should have never agreed to this plan to split up. In his eyes, it was far too much of a risk. He was confident in his own ability to battle, but Spinarak was better for his tricks rather than his battling, and Slugma's type wasn't effective for this environment.
He sighed. Perhaps he should have brought this up as an argument. Damn it...
Putting that aside, he stopped to plan his route. He needed to make it somewhere to the center of the floor, where that giant lake was. When he made it there, he would activate the radar orb, greatly improving their chances of finding their targets.
After a minute or two, he found a large stream running along the side of a tunnel. He studied the water's flow and headed in the same direction it was headed. This would undoubtedly lead to the lake, one way or another.
Continuing onwards, he stopped when he felt uneasy. Was he being watched...? He couldn't prove it, but the feeling was enough to put him on high alert.
A loud splash from behind made him grateful he had been. "Surprriiise~!" his attacker yelled.
Charjabug used Tackle to dash forwards. He managed to dodge whatever had attacked him, leaving a noisy sound of impact behind him.
Turning quickly, he saw that the wild pokémon was a crabrawler. A particularly hyperactive male, from the looks of things.
His fist was lodged in the ground where Charjabug had been just seconds ago. With a yank of his arm, though, the crab effortlessly freed himself. "Shit, son, you're fast, ain't'cha!?" he yelled, sounding distinctly unhinged.
Charjabug didn't respond, instead frowning and preparing himself for combat. Strong as he was, if this man was as impulsive as he came across, this would not take long.
Regardless, caution was still of the essence.
"Hey, you fulla earwax, bug cunt!?" the crab yelled, pupils dilated. "Or you thinkin' you're faster than this!?" He held a fist behind him while a torrent of water flowed around it.
Charjabug used Charge to generate a mass of electricity. It crackled loudly as it spread to his skin, travelling across it in waves as it was emitted aggressively.
He'd hoped it would have deterred the crab from going in for a punch. No such luck, as the crabrawler leapt into the air and went in for a punch anyway.
Fine... plan two. He unleashed all the electricity he'd gathered into a blast of energy at the crabrawler.
"No way, bitch!" the crab yelled, punching the electrical blast. Against all logic, it got absorbed into his torrent of water and became part of the attack.
Charjabug stared in disbelief. Shit.
He braced for impact. The crabrawler twisted around in the air to smash his electrically charged fist into his side.
Pain erupted in Charjabug's side as he was sent flying. He crashed through several walls before coming to a stop in a large puddle.
He groaned, feeling sore all over. Ugh... he'd been careless. He shouldn't have assumed his attack would have interrupted his enemy's, and should have dodged, regardless.
Thankfully, he hadn't fainted. His defense scarf had taken the brunt of the attack. Still, the fight wasn't over. He needed to plan his next course of action.
Struggling to his feet, he reached into his bag with the top half of his body and ate one of his oran berries. His aches and pains faded quickly, leaving him feeling refreshed.
Rummaging through the pouches on the inside of his bag as fast as he could, he found the warp wand he always had in case of emergencies. This fight was too much of a strain, so he had to end it as soon as possible.
... He paused. No... he would never get stronger by simply escaping from his problems. If he was to become a vikavolt, he had to fight, no matter what.
Frowning, he pulled his head out of his bag. He saw the crabrawler climbing over the rubble, heading towards him with a malicious grin.
"Hey, bug!" the crabrawler remarked. "The fuck do ya call that pussy-ass shit?"
Charjabug huffed loudly. "You should ask yourself that. Your punch barely fazed me, despite all its enhancements," he taunted, trying to goad the crab into attack.
"What!? Oh, you sonuva shit!" he yelled, allowing a rainbow aura to envelop his fists. He lunged at him with a Dizzy Punch.
Charjabug used Tackle to dash through the air, dodging to his attacker's side. He used Tackle to dodge again when the crab went in for another punch.
Hm, so it was as Charjabug had guessed. This pokémon had no strategy, other than trying his best to punch his enemies. That made this much easier, though caution was still of the essence. His punches had some impressive power behind them. Part of an ability, perhaps?
Dodging a clumsy punch, Charjabug leapt forwards and bit on the crab's arm with Bug Bite. Using Charge, he electrocuted his whole body, causing the crabrawler to cry out loudly in pain.
"BUTTFUUUUCK!" the crab roared, flinging Charjabug away.
Landing, Charjabug looked back at his foe, ready to continue. He took a step back when he saw the pokémon physically turn red, muscles bulging to the point where it was ridiculous.
... Charjabug had seen this before. From a mankey in the Arbor Area, who often barged into other pokémon. The ability Anger Point.
... He was going to have to dodge some more.
Lileep felt his stomach grumble again, for what was probably the ninetieth time that day. Ughhh, those stupid explorers. He'd been holding off on eating all morning, just so he could get back at them for denying him food, and even attacking him, the bastards. Now he was fucking hungry.
He walked along on his four legs, looking for something else to eat. Those explorers were probably long gone by now. After waking up and stealing some guy's tiny reviver seed, he'd looked all over, and hadn't seen them again. So now seemed like a good time to give up and finally have breakfast. Well, brunch. Whatever.
After some searching, he rounded a corner only to come face to face with a huge group of rock-type and water-type pokémon. Almost all of them were nursing burn wounds, like they'd been caught in an explosion, or a huge Fire Blast, or whatever. Likely, considering the room looked all burnt, and there was a huge hole in the middle of the room, slowly filling with water from various leaks in the walls and ceiling.
One of the pokémon - an aggressive-looking turtle with jagged jaws - noticed him and approached. "Hey, you! What're you standing there watching us for?" he demanded.
"Oh, dear, who is it, Drednaw?" a corsola asked. She looked like a chick, judging by her girly face and her tits. "Is it those girls with tiny boobs we tried mugging?"
"Naw. A lileep," the 'drednaw' replied.
"Meh. If it's a wild pokémon, just let it go," a kabutops said in the back, stabbing an oran berry with his scythe and biting from it. He swallowed and called out, "Hear that, wildie? Get going!" to Lileep.
"Not so fast," Lileep retorted. He pointed at a binacle, who was eating a load of berries. "Where'd you get all the food? I want some."
A kabuto cracked up laughing. "Would'ja look at the balls on that guy! Comin' 'ere and demandin' all our food!"
"You can't have it, punk!" a relicanth with tits shouted at Lileep, propping herself out of the pond she was in to glare at him. She gargled up some water in her mouth and fired it at him in a long, forceful stream.
He clicked his tongue and gathered energy in his roots. The water changed course in midair, redirecting itself to swirl around him. It twisted around his body, eventually ending in his roots, where he absorbed it.
It was refreshing, but it didn't satisfy his hunger. "Well, thanks for nothing, then..." he grumbled, deciding that fighting them wasn't worth the effort.
He heard them talk amongst themselves in confusion as he left. What, hadn't they ever heard of Water Absorb? It wasn't exactly like lileeps in these parts were rare, after all.
About ten minutes later, Lileep still hadn't found anything to eat. Ugh, he bet all those damn explorers had already eaten everything. Greedy assholes.
Deciding to drift around on a small lake to avoid walking and wasting energy, he kept glancing around for something to eat. He didn't find anything, but instead, he saw something he hadn't expected at all.
Two pokémon were fighting. A marshtomp and a... slugma? What was something like that doing here?
He saw that it was wearing a scarf around its neck - one with differently shaded gray stripes, and a square in the middle with a red line going through - and he saw that it was carrying one of those explorer's bags, too. When he saw those things, he figured it out. Oh, right. An explorer, huh? Well, they usually had food on them, so that was promising.
He decided to watch the battle before planning his next action.
"Pesky thing. Thought you could sneak by me, eh~?" the marshtomp chimed, seeming amused. "Well, I'll teach you a thing or two~"
The slugma didn't reply. It - or rather her, looking at it - just shrugged at the marshtomp with a stretched grimace.
"Not talking, eh~?" the marshtomp continued with a giggle. He charged up some water in his fist. "Well, let's just get to it, then~!"
The slugma hunched over, preparing some sort of move. The rocky ground several feet away from her crumbled, leaving a large circle of cracks.
Not waiting for her to finish, the marshtomp punched the floor hard. Huge pillars of water erupted out of the ground in front of him one after the other, quickly heading towards the slugma.
The water wave nearly reached her, but it was interrupted when a boulder sprouted from the cracked ground and exploded, sending huge rocks flying in many directions. The marshtomp had to dodge out of the way to avoid being hit, while the slugma just grinned as they fell around her with thunderous crashes. She went out of view after that.
The marshtomp giggled gleefully. "Oh dear, a Rock Tomb, huh? Very clever~ But I'mma gonna find you~!" he sang, skipping over to the rocks.
Lileep cringed. Wow... what a creepy bastard. Even if he'd offered food to Lileep, he wouldn't be quick to take it, that was for sure.
When the marshtomp reached the boulder-like rocks, he charged energy into his fist and slammed it into one. A shockwave rippled across it, sending it blasting apart into splinters. Without pause, he moved on to destroying the next rock closest to him. And then the next.
He was several rocks in when Lileep saw that one of the rocks was far smaller than the rest of them. When the marshtomp moved past it to punch another rock, the smaller one exploded into a volcanic geyser, sending smog, fire and magma flying. It destroyed all the boulders and engulfed the marshtomp, making him squeal in pain and surprise.
In the place of where that small rock had been, the slugma emerged. Shaking off stone fragments that were clinging to her, she seemed to laugh to herself. Sneaky bitch.
The marshtomp picked himself up from some rubble and stood up. He seemed rather burnt, though nowhere near as badly as he probably should have been. "Ooh, feisty, huh~?" he asked.
The slugma stuck her tongue out at him and brought another huge boulder out of the ground. Again, it shattered into smaller ones, which she used to hide behind.
Lileep yelped when one of the boulders landed in the water, rocking the lake. Jeez...! This is why he'd never bothered learning anything rock-based. They're dangerous as all hell.
"That's not going to work again, little slug~" the marshtomp chimed. Rapidly shaking his body to and fro, he released an unholy amount of water droplets into the air. They somehow lingered, leaving the area very visibly damp.
Lileep felt immediately refreshed. That slugma probably wouldn't enjoy it, though, which was probably why the marshtomp had used... whatever he'd used. Was it even a move?
The marshtomp went back to pulverizing boulders with his fist. Eventually, Lileep noticed the distinctly-shaped rock from before, who was obviously the slugma pretending to be a rock again. Despite the moist air, her disguise seemed to be working alright.
Weirdly, though, when the marshtomp passed her again, smashing rocks as he went, the slugma didn't attack like before. She shuddered about, as if trying to unsuccessfully do something. Huh... guess the damp air was making the disguise work too well. She couldn't even break out, from the looks of things.
The marshtomp, still not noticing her, sighed loudly, though he didn't look any less amused. "Still hiding? Well, that's okay~ I'll speed this up a notch~!" he said, raising both his arms above his head. He waved them around like he was doing some kind of slow dance.
Lileep's eyes widened when he felt the water he was still floating in grow restless. Huh...? Now what?
He yelped when the water grew violent and, more worryingly, brown. He struggled to stay upright as it produced huge waves, like a storm had started. Ohhh shit.
He suddenly found himself in the air as a huge tidal wave carried him close to the cave ceiling. It aggressively descended and noisily crashed into the land next to the lake, bringing him along.
He yelled in surprise until he was slammed into the floor. Groaning, he picked himself up. Looking himself over, he was completely covered in mud. Oh, that was just great...
Looking at the battlefield, he saw that the water had gone through all the rocks, washing the slugma out of her hiding place and slamming her into the wall. She lay against it, dazed and with her body looking stiff and unresponsive.
The marshtomp strolled up to her. "Ha, ha, ha~! I win~!" he boasted.
The slugma weakly frowned up at him. She started charging a move, though the marshtomp didn't seem to care, even chuckling at her attempt.
"Not quite yet, then, eh?" His entire front began to glow brightly. "Guess I'd better end it with a Body Slam~"
Walking out of the muddy puddle he was in, Lileep sighed. Welp, time to decide what to do. The marshtomp was clearly the stronger opponent here, so the smart thing to do would be to let him win and then try to steal from the girl, after the guy left. Either that or try to start up a bargain with the marshtomp to share food, just in case he took it all for himself.
However... the slugma had big tits, and the marshtomp didn't. Besides, she would probably pay him back for helping her, anyway.
Sure, whatever. He bubbled up some acid in his mouth and spat it all at the marshtomp's back. It fizzled loudly as he yelled out in pain.
"Oh... s-so you have friends, e-eh?" the marshtomp said, turning around to face him.
The slugma said nothing, though she looked at Lileep in surprise.
"Not really," Lileep replied to the marshtomp. He inhaled and spat out a messy ball of mud from his mouth. It smacked the blue bastard in the face, coating his eyes.
"O-Oh, dear!" he yelled, grabbing at his face in pain. "Oh, you little...!"
While he stood there like an idiot, the slugma took the initiative and leaned forwards to aim her back at the marshtomp. She let out a big stream of lava from it, getting a direct hit on the guy. He disappeared screaming in a cloud of lava, smoke and fire until he went silent.
Lileep leapt backwards in surprise, avoiding being caught in it himself. Yeesh... sucked to be him.
When the slugma cut off her attack, the smog from the lava went away, revealing the marshtomp unconscious on the floor, coated in soot and burn marks.
Lileep let out a groan of exertion. "Good. Creepy prick," he grumbled. He faced the slugma. "So, uh... you alright, or whatever?"
The slugma shakily picked herself up. She offered him a really grateful look while nodding enthusiastically.
"'Kay. Cool. Well, I saved you, so... gimmie some food."
The slugma stared at him blankly. She tilted her head, frowning with her mouth hung open in confusion.
"They call me Starved Lileep for a reason," he continued. "You've got food, right? Gimmie a reward, I'm hungry."
The slugma stared for a while longer before silently laughing to herself. After getting over herself, she shrugged and reached into the bag hanging around her neck with her mouth. She pulled out a random assortment of berries and a big apple one after the other to spit them onto the ground in front of him. She indicated to them with her head invitingly.
"Oh, finally... Thanks, I guess," he replied, reaching for them with his petals. He pulled all of them - except for the shitty chilan berry - into his opening at once and scarfed them down for dear life. Oh, that was some good shit...
He spat out the apple core and belched. "Alright. That'll do." He looked at the slugma, who was eating an oran berry, and shrugged. "... See ya." He turned and began to walk away.
He heard a gasp from behind, followed by an urgent croaky, yet feminine yelp. Turning again, he saw her giving him a pleading look.
"... What? You're not getting them back, now," he replied.
The slugma grinned amusedly and shook her head. She reached into her bag again and pulled out a notepad, and afterwards, a pencil. Some tools townspokémon used to write with.
He raised an eyebrow at her as she scribbled something down on the paper using her mouth. When she was done, she pushed it towards him.
He looked at it. It said, 'Water-Rock Gang' and had a crude picture of a map with a question mark on it next to the phrase.
... Huh? Why didn't she just talk to him directly?
... Oh. Unless she was dumb, or something. Or 'mute', or whatever the townspokémon called it these days. Well, whatever. "What, you're asking me where they are? This gang?" he asked.
She nodded excitedly.
"Huh, alright..." he mumbled, thinking about it. "Hmm... I guess I saw a load of assholes, earlier. Rock-type and water-type, or whatever. Guess it's them, right?"
She gasped and nodded again, more excitedly than before.
"Oh, right. Jeez, why do you care about those guys? They'll just tell you to piss off, you know."
The slugma took back her notebook and turned to another page to scribble something else down. How she wasn't burning the book or pencil was anyone's guess.
Soon after, she pushed it back towards him with a silent chuckle. It had a doofy picture of a rhydon bending over, showing off its bare ass. Next to it was a picture of the slugma, only with feet, which she was using to kick it in the... Oh, right. "Ah, you're gonna go kick their asses, huh?"
She laughed silently and nodded eagerly.
"Heh, I get it. Well, 'kay," he replied. He scratched himself on the neck with one of his petals. "And lemmie guess. You want me to take you there, huh?"
She gave him a very hopeful look, confirming his thoughts.
He huffed and waved her off. "Forget it, I can't be bothered." He yawned. "Besides, all that food made me sleepy. I'm gonna, like... go and find a good spot to masturbate then sleep. Probably."
She pulled a disappointed expression, which quickly turned into a perturbed one.
"Oh, don't pretend you don't do it, too," he complained, getting a cringe out of her. "Anyway, I'm going now. Good luck, and all that."
She huffed irritably and quickly shook her head. She hastily scribbled something else down on the next page of her notebook before showing it off. 'Plz! Ill give u good stuff' it read in chicken scratch.
"Good stuff, huh?" Lileep mumbled, deciding to play along, even though he didn't really care anymore.
She nodded and reached into her bag with her head. When she did, he could see her titty bump, barely grazed by the scarf she was wearing. It wobbled faintly as she rummaged through her bag, mud slowly slithering down from the marshtomp's attack, earlier.
His lips curled into a smile. He'd definitely chosen the right pokémon to help out, that was for sure.
... Wait. He had one idea for a reward. She would probably never agree to it, but hey. "Wait, actually, I've got an idea," he started, catching her attention. "I'll take you over to that gang of pricks if you let me fondle your tits for a bit."
The slugma gasped with wide eyes, the lid of her bag even dropping from her mouth in her shock. Face going redder than it already was, she pulled a displeased expression and backed off slightly.
Well, this was going about as well as he'd expected. Still... "Hey, I'm not doing any dodgy crap. I just wanna trade. Give me tits, and I'll help you with whatever." He huffed. "Hell, I guess I'll even help you fight those guys, or whatever. How about it?"
She stared at him, face reddening further. She looked in every downward direction possible, the perturbed look never leaving her face.
... Yeah, this wasn't working out. Shrugging, he decided to call it quits before she had him thrown in jail, or whatever it was explorers did. "Well, if you don't wanna, I'm not forcing. See ya."
He turned and started walking away. He made it a short distance when the slugma slid in front of him, stopping him. She let out a long breath, swallowed, and nudged her front into him.
"... Really?" he asked in disbelief.
Pouting, she nodded quickly.
He grinned. "Oh, sweet. Well, if you say so, that's fine by me." He bowed towards her and gently gripped the soft bump on her chest with his petals. Even though the slime she was covered in looked like lava, it wasn't too hot. It was warm and pleasant to the touch as it slipped through his petals.
Getting excited, he gave a soft squeeze. Her tits were much softer than he expected, almost like they were filled with water. He'd expected them to be much firmer, like a berry or something, but this wasn't half bad, either. Wow...
He started massaging them, which got a soft groan from her. Looking at her face, he noticed her looking off to the side, brows furrowed and lips stretched.
Lileep grinned wider. Heh, she was secretly loving this, wasn't she? Well, she could act proud all she wanted, but it was her getting fondled at the end of the day. Clearly she wasn't as against it as she was letting on.
Growing bold, he gripped at what felt like her chest coverings - a thick, sturdy film of warm slime - and tugged them apart. The girl gasped as her orange tits flopped into view, showing off her pink nipples.
Even just seeing them sent a huge rush of endorphins through him and his dick. Holy crap... so much for his parents saying he'd never get this far with a girl.
He lightly pinched the ends of her nipples. which felt rubbery in his petals, even with the light coating of slime. The more he touched them, the more he was rewarded with soft noises from her throat, and slightly quickened breathing. She was still frowning stubbornly, looking around to probably watch for other pokémon, but she wasn't subtle about her pleasure at all. Heh.
Ugh... speaking of endorphins going to his dick, this was making him annoyingly hard. He doubted she would let him screw her, which didn't help... but... hm...
"Hey, uh..." he started, "seeing as it still counts, and stuff... can I fondle your tits with my dick?"
Her eyebrows creased heavily, like he'd just asked the worst thing ever. Yeesh, he was only asking...
Surprisingly, though, she looked thoughtful for a second before grinning widely. She nodded after that.
"... Oh, shit, really?" he asked. She nodded again in response, sending a wave of excitement through him. Well, that was fine by him! "Cool," he responded, pushing her down onto the floor.
She yelped, but stayed put on her back. He got on top and fiddled with his coverings before pulling his hard erection out. He grinned. If he didn't enjoy this, he didn't know what he'd enjoy. Certainly beat his earlier plans.
He scooted over her body, pushed her tits together, and pushed his dick inbetween them.
The feeling of warmth and slime against his dick was an immediately amazing feeling, sending a jolt of pleasure through him. Though... uh... was she getting warmer, or was it just him?
A second or two later, she got hotter and hotter still, slime bubbling nosily. He yelled in pain when his dick suddenly burned. "Aghh! Holy shit!" he yelled, flailing his legs in pain.
He leapt off her and flopped onto his ass to check himself over. Smoke was pouring off his foreskin, it was red raw with an obvious burn, and most notably, it stung like hell. The same went for everything else that had touched the slug's slime, too.
He glared at the slugma. She was doubled over in silent laughter, rolling to and fro while clutching at her sides with her slug appendages.
"Oh, you little... gck... bitch..." he groaned, massaging his dick. It stung to the touch, so he quickly learned to stop.
Still laughing, the slugma covered up her jiggling tits, hiding them from view once again. She quickly slid to her paper, took her pencil, and started writing something down. An apology for burning his poor dick, he hoped.
When she finished and turned the paper toward him, he limped over to read it. It read, 'HAHAHA DUMASS! U STUCK UR DIK IN LAVA!' in capitals.
He blinked in disbelief at what he was reading. He glared iron thorns at her. "Hey, screw you! You made it hot on purpose!" he shouted.
She laughed again and gave him an innocent smile.
"Tsch! I fucking asked nicely, too, and you burned my dick for my troubles," he continued angrily.
Her innocent smile turned into an evil grin. She turned her paper back to herself and quickly started scribbling something else onto it.
A short while passed before she turned it back towards him. It read, 'Serves u right!' Next to it was a crude picture of a... blob? Well, it had a tick next to it.
Under it was an obvious drawing of some tits, complete with nipples. They had an X next to them. To the other side of them was an arrow, pointing towards them with sideways writing, reading, 'u were here, perv fuk u'
Lilieep stared at the paper. Oh... right. They were both pictures of tits, but one was covered up.
Starting to put together what she was getting at, his annoyance faded away. "Oh... right. I went too far, huh?" he asked.
She huffed and gave a heavy nod.
He sighed. "Alright, yeah, right. I got excited, sorry. If you were a guy, and you got a hold of some tits, you'd know what I mean."
She frowned and raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Right, apparently not. Well, uh... sorry." He let out a long breath. "Guess, uh... guess I'd better help you with those water assholes, huh?"
She nodded again. She turned her paper over and started writing something else. Not too long after, she finished and showed it off to him.
It was a picture of a cock, but on fire, and melting in a gory fashion. Above it read, 'OR ELSE' in capitals.
He felt himself start to sweat. Especially when he saw her blow a small plume of fire out of her mouth while grinning, for emphasis.
"Yeah... right," he replied. Yeesh... well, he always believed that a promise was a promise, but it really was, now. "Well, let's go, then. I guess..." He started towards the general direction of where the monster house assholes were. He stopped with a pained grunt when he felt his undersides burn. His dick, especially, which he'd forgotten to put away. "Ugh... gotta go deal with all the burns you frigging gave me, first, though. Thanks for that, by the way."
She smiled cheerfully. Son of a bitch.
Huffing, he walked over to the nearby lake and hopped in to soothe his burns. Instant relief washed over his underside, and his amazingly still-erect cock.
When he rubbed it to sooth it further, a jolt of pleasure shot through. It felt even nicer when he remembered what he'd done with that slugma. Damn... if only he'd gotten further. Oh well...
Ugh! Slugma had to admit... she was still pissed. That stupid assfuck of a lileep was the scum of the century! Who the Hell asked to see a stranger's boobies!?
She shook her head in disbelief as she watched him cool off in the nearby lake. While messing with him had been good for some laughs, she was still regretting letting him grope her. Sure, this dungeon was way shittier than she thought it would be, and Charjabug hadn't used that orb of his yet... but was she really that desperate? The lileep wasn't even good looking or anything to soften the blow!
Well, to be fair, she hadn't expected him to pull off her chest covers like that, the teeny-weenied... whatever he was. And he wasn't a complete dong licker, like that marshtomp had been. He was just mostly one.
Well, whatever. As long as this would stop her from fainting like a dummy and embarrassing herself somewhere else in the dungeon, it would be somewhat worth it. Besides, burning his junk had cracked her up, so that was something to be happy about!
She nodded to herself. Yeah, everything was cool, she'd decided. It wasn't like she was going to tell anyone about this, anyway. Her lips were sealed~ Not that anything useful could come out of them, anyway.
She chuckled silently at her dumb joke. She wished she could tell Spinarak about that one. He was a fun guy.
She waited patiently for the lileep to cool off, fiddling with the trap scarf she was wearing to pass the time. She didn't exactly want to watch too closely, because the thought of seeing him nude more than she had to made a shiver go up whatever passed for her spine. If he was handsome enough, it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world, but he could go huff muk fumes.
Just as soon as she wondered if he was taking a long time because he was busy whacking off or something, he pulled himself out of the water. Notably, his nasty D was all covered up and out of view. Thank Arceus.
"Alright, I'm good, I guess. Let's go," Teeny Dong said.
Slugma nodded and bowed her head in a 'lead the way' gesture. He seemed to understand, as he started walking somewhere.
She followed him. With any luck, they wouldn't have to go through any paths with lots of water. She was generally alright with hot water - even if it was a bit uncomfortable - but cold water would make her skin go hard, and make it difficult to move her booty anywhere. Just like what had happened when that creepy kiddy diddler's Damp ability had kicked in, and she suddenly hadn't been able to turn off Harden.
Speaking of someone who wasn't able to turn off Harden, she suddenly wondered why the lileep wasn't 'bleeping' yet. Charjabug had said he was going to use his radar orb to make all the wild pokémon on the floor make bleeping noises, but he sure was dragging his feet.
She grumbled in discomfort when she slithered over a really soggy patch of ground. Ugh, this was why she didn't want to travel on the wall. It was annoying enough getting drenched down on the ground, so the last thing she wanted now was to add gravity to the mix, too! Fook it!
She jumped when she heard a loud crash echo through the caves. Yeesh, was someone fighting?
The lileep huffed. "Sucks to be whoever that was," he muttered.
Huffing herself in amusement, she shrugged. He wasn't wrong.
Man, imagine the odds of it being one of her guild friends, though. Like Charjabug, or something. That would sure explain why he wasn't using that orb. Ha ha...
... Oh, shit nuggets, it was going to be him, wasn't it?
Charjabug barely leapt over the raging crabrawler as he rushed past, engulfed in a wild aura. Both of his extended fists collided with a pillar, blasting it away into bits.
On landing, Charjabug let out a tired breath. This was insane. Superpower was supposed to tire whoever used it, and yet this man wasn't being slowed in the least, even after the eighth use. This was becoming dangerous.
Charjabug tried to gather energy for a strong Charge Beam. He had to fire a weak one and dodge, however, when the muscular crab twirled around and went in for a Dizzy Punch, interrupting him.
Shrugging off the small ball of electricity that had hit him, the crabrawler seemed to charge another Superpower. "Gonna splat ya good with this one, buggy shit!" he yelled aggressively.
Charjabug used Charge to coat his body in a harsh field of electricity. At the same time, he planned a route to escape to, using Tackle.
When the crab lunged forward, Charjabug did the same, dodging to the side as he sailed onward. His back end was painfully grazed by a fist, sending him tumbling through the air to land on some damp moss.
Grunting, Charjabug glanced at his adversary. He was shuddering in pain, having touched the electricity surrounding the caterpillar. However, he still seemed far from fainting.
Charjabug frowned. This wasn't good. He'd hoped the battle would have ended by now, but clearly, that wasn't the case. Using the warp wand was looking like the best choice of action now, even though he didn't want to.
He quickly reached into his bag with his whole body. He noticed the radar orb as he did so, and was reminded of the plan. Ugh... he'd banked on being able to use this at the large lake on this floor, to get as much mileage out of it as possible. This fight had taken far longer than he would have liked, however, so now was as good a time as any to use it, it seemed.
He gripped it with both his yellow pincers and dragged it out of the bag to hold it aloft. When he willed it to work, it released what appeared to be a large wave of sound, which spread across the caves. The orb shattered harmlessly after.
The sound of constant 'dings' immediately made themselves apparent. He could hear them coming from... behind himself.
He used Tackle to sail forwards into the air a short distance. An explosion of stone was heard behind him from whatever attack he'd barely dodged.
Landing, he twirled around and was met with the sight of the crabrawler with his fist through the floor. He'd managed to punch it hard enough for cracks to have spread across the rock. Ones wide enough for the floor below to be seen.
Charjabug stared at the spectacle in shock. Shaking off his stupor, he frowned and reached into his bag to search for the warp wand. Finding the strangely blue and turquoise stick bent into the shape of a question mark, he pulled it out with his pincers and aimed for the crab.
While preparing to fire, his eyes widened in shock on noticing that the boxer had been preparing a move of his own. With his fist drawn back, glowing ferociously, Charjabug could tell it was Focus Punch.
He barely had time to sidestep out of the way as the crab flew past, surrounded in a powerful fighting aura. Charjabug gasped when his wand misfired, striking the wall to no effect. To make matters worse, it shattered into colorful wood splinters after, despite being barely used.
His eyebrows furrowed hard. Damnit.
He turned to face his adversary, who faced him down in turn. He was breathing heavily, but showed no signs of stopping.
"So, lil' bitch!" he exclaimed, slurring slightly from fatigue. "Ready to start fuckin' fightin' for real!?"
Charjabug let out a tired breath of his own. "... Born ready," he retorted, coating himself in electricity.
"N-No, please!" Spinarak whimpered, quickly backing away from the pokémon advancing on him. "I don't know what you want, man, but don't hurt me!"
The wild pokémon - a burly armaldo - grinned cockily. "What I want, punk?" he asked tauntingly. "Some other bitch bug pissed me off, earlier..." He flexed his claws, which shone with a metallic sheen, "so I think I'm gonna pretend your ugly mug's hers for a bit, if you get me!"
Spinarak forced out a gasp and backed away even faster. "No! Please! I'm scared!"
The armaldo let out a cruel belly laugh and lumbered after him at a quicker pace. "C'mere!"
Letting out a squeal, Spinarak turned tail and ran. He kept going, keeping a fast pace as he heard the... terrifying pokémon come after him in hot pursuit.
On reaching a turning into a tunnel, Spinarak took it. Ducking under a low hanging thread of string in the way, he grinned and fired a gloopy ball of string upwards from his silk hole. It floated in the air, suspended in just the right place.
Still running, he got a fair distance away before the armaldo stopped in front of the tunnel seconds later. He saw the big, feathery bug grin widely on seeing Spinarak before bounding forwards, towards him.
A shocked yelp left his lips when his feet caught on the string stretching from wall to wall. He tumbled forwards just as Spinarak's ball of string unwrapped, stretching in all directions to attach to the walls to form a Sticky Web. The big idiot fell into it and became immediately tangled up.
Stopping his run, Spinarak cracked up laughing. "Ah, whoops... guess I forgot to mention that, eh?" he joked tauntingly.
"The fuck is this shit!?" the armaldo demanded, glaring through the gaps in the webbing at him.
Spinarak shrugged. "What do you think it is, knuckle head? It's a trap from the Striker himself!" he said, indicating towards himself.
"Oh, you little faggot!" the armaldo yelled, angrily struggling against his sticky bonds. "Let me out, you damn, fuckin' bug!"
"Ah, ah, ah...!" Spinarak chided with a smirk. "For picking on a poor, defenseless little creepy crawly like me, I think you need a time out!"
He fired another Sticky Web from his mouth, which spread over the one already covering the armaldo, cocooning him even more. For good measure, he fired a few more, too.
The armaldo was unable to do anything more than awkwardly poke a claw out of the webbing and roar in irritation. With the x-ray specs on his face, Spinarak was able to see through the string, and got a glimpse of his red face, eyes burning with fury.
Spinarak chuckled. Yeesh, someone didn't take pranks well. Maybe he needed some cooling off. "Hey, don't get too mad. I've got some friends to help cheer you up while I go find my other friend," he said, channeling bug-type energy into his six feet.
Millions of tiny black insects crafted from Infestation crawled out of the ground around the armaldo. They swarmed him and crawled into the webbing. With the x-ray specs, Spinarak saw them completely coat him and start to nibble on every inch of him they could reach. He roared even louder, which was music to Spinarak's ears.
Laughing again, he started down the tunnel. "Don't worry, though. I'll tell that 'bitch bug' you said hi! She'll be thrilled to hear, I'm sure."
The armaldo's roars paused, only to be replaced with growls. "Fuck! I should've known you fuckers were in cahoots! I'll get you both!" he threatened, thrashing around.
"Can't wait, see ya!" Spinarak said dismissively, signing off with a cheeky salute. He went back to travelling down the soggy tunnel, amused with his antics. Man, he loved the big dumb idiots the most. They always fell for whatever he had planned, no matter how obvious!
Oh well, back to business. That big dumbo had mentioned something about Swadloon, right? She certainly seemed like the type to completely piss that armaldo off, so it just had to be her. Was she somewhere in the area, then?
A sound wave rushed past him, startling him out of his thoughts. What the hell!?
He turned back to see if that armaldo had done anything. The darkness in the caverns - despite the dungeon magic keepings things lit up for the most part - made it hard to see exactly what he was doing, but launching attacks wasn't it. In fact, he looked like he was still stuck.
While Spinarak was glancing at him, he heard a ding echo through the cavern, coming from the big dummy's direction. When several more came, Spinarak grinned in realization. Oh, so Charjabug had finally remembered to use that orb, eh? Sure took his time...
Well, whatever. Because of the x-ray specs, Spinarak thought it was a bit redundant for him, now, but it couldn't hurt to have a bit of extra assistance, could it? He was sure the others would appreciate it, anyway.
He continued on, looking through the walls and listening out for any possible dings he could hear.
Kakuna slowly hopped in the general direction of the slope leading to the next floor. He had to pass through several winding tunnels as he went, but it wasn't anything too strenuous. If anything, it was pleasant being able to experience the natural beauty of the caverns.
Hearing the gentle sounds of water trickling down the walls and into streams and lakes... looking at the various growths of moss lining the rocks to absorb moisture, green and organic with a carpet like texture... it was nice. This was something not to take for granted, like so many did.
He didn't pay attention to any of the items hidden away around him, visible because of the scanner orb Swadloon had used on him and herself. Normally, he wouldn't mind helping himself to them, but without a treasure bag, he wasn't going to be bringing many with him. Maybe he should have considered this as a possibility. Oh well.
He continued hopping along, enjoying himself. A pokémon's voice from above caught his attention, however.
"Hey! Hey, you!" the apparent girl said, sounding annoyed.
He glanced upwards. It appeared to be a chimecho, who was glaring down at him while floating above. He wondered if it was the one that had married the other guildmaster, Prodigy Wigglytuff. Probably wasn't the case, though.
"... Need me for something?" Kakuna asked her, raising an eyebrow.
"What're you doing here? You're not from around here at all, are you?"
"You sure like asking questions, huh?" He stopped looking at her and continued hopping on his way.
"H-Hey, hey! Don't you dare!" the chimecho shouted, floating over to hover in his way. "I'm talking to you!"
"Apparently so..." He hopped over to the wall, where he could see the glowing silhouette of something he wanted.
He could sense the chimecho's presence as she floated closer. "Hey! You little...! Where are you going now, you outsider!?"
Kakuna pointed a pincer at the wall and fired a poisonous barb at it. The feeble rock crumbled easily, and a wand fell out to clatter against the wet floor. It was shaped like a stick with lots of curved yellow thorns poking out, curling to point down the end of the stick.
"Hm, curious. What's this, do you think?" he asked, picking it up and holding it up for her to look at.
"Wha-? It's a surround wand, you dumb idiot!" she retorted rudely. "You use it to teleport nearby friends to wherever you point it."
His eyes widened slightly. "Ah. Sounds useful."
She shook her head and glared harder. "Ugh, but nevermind that! You get outta these caves, or I'll make you leave!" She formed a ball of pure darkness in front of her mouth. "Capiche? Go away, now!"
He lightly clicked his tongue. "Wait a second." He aimed at the floor to his side and willed the wand to work. Lights fired out of the thorns, striking the floor to no immediate effect.
The chimecho's Shadow Ball dissipated as she watched the spectacle, confused. "What... are you even...?"
A white light came up through the floor. It bundled together where he'd fired the wand, until it formed into the familiar shape of his friend, Death Threat Octillery.
The octopus frantically looked around. "W-What the fuck is happening!?" he shouted, as vulgar as ever.
Kakuna felt a smile form at the sight of him. Good, so he had been close enough for it to work. "Hello, Octillery," he said.
Octillery's attention immediately snapped towards him. "Oh! Bro, it's you!"
"Sure is. Sorry, I used a wand to bring you over."
Octillery's demeanor immediately changed to a gleeful one. "S'alright, man!"
"Hey, don't ignore me!" the chimecho interjected, apparently undeterred by the new arrival. She powered up another Shadow Ball. "What I said still stands! Leave, now!"
Octillery's confused frown returned. He looked at Kakuna, looking as if he was hoping for an explanation.
Letting out a breath, Kakuna pointed towards the chimecho. "She's being annoying. Rough her up a bit for me, won't you?" he asked.
Octillery huffed and glared up at the floating bell. "Whatever you want, bro!"
The chimecho's eyes widened in surprise. "What the-!?" she started, interrupted when Octillery leapt at her and wrapped his tentacles around her. She yelped when he twisted around and dragged her out of the air to slam her into the ground, still grappling her after.
Groaning, she managed to keep the Shadow Ball from dissipating, and continued to charge it, aiming it at his face. Octillery clapped two tentacles onto it, making it fizzle out immediately.
The chimecho blinked a few times. She started to squeal in fright, getting louder as Octillery began to squeeze harshly with Constrict.
"H-Help...! Heelllp...!" she choked out barely louder than a whisper.
"Friggin' say sorry, you dumb broad!" Octillery shouted, tugging on her tassel with one of his tentacles. "You sounded like a fuckin' rude bitch, and I ain't lettin' that shit slide!"
She whimpered. "S... Sorry...! Oh... Palkia...!"
Octillery glanced at Kakuna, probably looking for his approval. He gave him a nod in return.
The octopus let go of her immediately. She shakily took to the air, coughing and wheezing all the while.
"Learned your lesson? Now go the fuck home!" Octillery shouted.
She gasped and flew straight for a tunnel, disappearing out of view on rounding the corner.
Octillery shook his tentacles off with an annoyed grunt. "Yeah... she was a bitch, right?" he asked.
"I'd say so," Kakuna replied. "Not the rudest I've seen, but some humbling won't hurt her."
"Alright, good." Octillery grinned. "Yeah, you always know what's what, bro!"
Kakuna smiled lightly. "Thanks." He pointed in the direction of the large collection of items far deeper into the cave, which he could still see thanks to the orb's effects. "Mind helping me go assist Swadloon? She's chasing bandits."
Octillery clenched a tentacle. "Yeah, 'course! I'll fuck up as many bastards as you want!"
"Always reliable, thank you. In return, I'll point out any items I see. Scanner orb privileges, you see."
"Oh, thank fuck for that! Ever since we went travelling through this stupid place, I've lost so much shit. Glad I saw you up on the damn mountain from the bottom, or I'd'a lost my damn mind!"
"Hm, that's no good." Kakuna tilted his head. "... We, you say?"
"Yeah. Me and bunch of other guildies were showing this buneary babe around. Fun enough, but it was fuckin' expensive."
"Oh, yeah. I met that buneary."
Octillery's eyes widened in interest. "Oh, shit, really? That's-"
A visible sound wave reverberated through the caves, harmlessly passing over the two of them. Octillery swore loudly in surprise, though Kakuna just looked at it in intrigue. "Huh... seemed like an orb," he said. He looked Octillery up and down. "Feel any different?"
"Don't... think so? The hell was that!?"
Kakuna thought about it for a bit. "... Might be related to Swadloon. We should hurry on over to help."
"Yeah, got it!" Octillery paused before indicating towards himself. "Uh... dunno how it works, or whatever, but that Buneary showed us this friggin' weird... tower technique thing."
"Hm, okay. Well, you sound eager to try it out, so let's do that."
"Yeah, let's do it!" Octillery replied, sounding very pleased indeed.
His enthusiasm was infectious.
Swadloon strolled through a series of tunnels, heading towards the mass of items she could see in the distance, thanks to the scanner orb's effect. They were very close now, so she had to be near to that bandit gang!
Letting out a breath as she mentally prepared herself, she looked over the bandanna she'd found en route. A red one with white rings in the middle, making up what appeared to be the pattern of a target.
She'd been happy to find something, but it wouldn't help her, much. Patsy bands were notorious for bringing attention to the wearer, making him or her stick out to everyone around. They also seemed to lightly draw attacks to the wearer, too. Not very good for her current situation, in other words.
Hmm... if her friends were here, though, maybe she could make use of it. She would keep it on her person, for now. Scarves, bandannas, looplets and glasses didn't work until worn properly, after all, so there was no worry of this thing messing up her assault.
She rounded a corner and halted when she saw all the pokémon roaming around inside the clearing, talking, eating and milling about. Oh, this was certainly it! These were the bandits!
Quickly moving to hide behind a small boulder, she watched them carefully. They all seemed to be part water-type and part rock-type, no exceptions. Well, that would explain their gang name, she supposed. She'd thought it would be a mix of water-types and rock-types working together... but no. They were a very specialized group, it seemed.
There was no doubt in her mind these were the villains, but how would she go about this? Her Razor Leaf would make short work of a good load of them, but would it be too foolhardy of her to rush in blindly? She wasn't afraid of doing it, but she still wanted to win!
Unfortunately, they seemed to have mostly recovered from the trap that had apparently defeated them before. An explosion trap, judging by the burnt crater in the floor. Thankfully, they seemed none the wiser to the active bounty on their heads, so a surprise attack was still in the cards.
She weighed her options. Rush in, throw some leaves, and use Protect if they retaliated? Go in with a shield up, and counter with Razor Leaf once they tired themselves out attacking her? Use String Shot on them when they least expected it, and Razor Leaf the lot when they were unable to do anything about it? ... Spam Razor Leaf until she passed out?
She huffed. Oh, what should she do? There was just too much choice. Either way, she had to use their current false sense of security against them.
A sound wave spread out from behind Swadloon, giving her a shock. Wah! What the...!?
It harmlessly passed over all the enemy pokémon, though not without surprising most of them. A cacophony of constant dings rang out afterwards, making everyone cover their ears in discomfort.
Wincing, Swadloon frowned. Well, shit. So much for the element of surprise.
Clicking her tongue, she prepared a Razor Leaf in her antennae and her hands. Looked like it was now or never, then!
Hopping onto the boulder, she took advantage of the confusion and unleashed a humongous storm of leaves into the unsuspecting crowd.
Even without preparation, she was going to take down this whole damn gang all by herself!
TO BE CONTINUED!
Word count: 11,607
Finished: 15/05 (May)/2022
VGS2's sausage notes: Whoops. Damn it, Charjabug! Now she has to live up to her title and rush in there! Woe betide.
Hope you're enjoying this little excursion, so far! And yes, I'm not afraid to write proper lewdness, if you were wondering. If I think it'll be fun, I'll do as I will (within reason). XP
By the way, in case you're one of the few who have been keeping up with this short story collection, I've gone back and replaced the shout outs (which I'm keeping up with on the main fic) with some character descriptions!
It's still not entirely finalized what I'll be saying about whoever I feel like at the time, but I hope it's interesting! :P
Character highlights:
Name: Rush Swadloon
Age: 6
Fighting style: Aggressive attention grabber
Appearance: An average swadloon
Description: After a certain incident in the PokéPark, Swadloon decided that she fancied the idea of joining a guild and making something of herself. Leaving the Arcane Area she'd lived in, she traveled the world with her two closest friends until eventually deciding on Donphan's guild.
Personality: Though she may come across as quiet and mild-natured, she is actually the determined and stubborn sort, always going out of her way to accomplish her goals no matter what. She's also brave to a fault, rarely backing down despite the odds and potential risks involved.
xXx
Name: Surprise Slugma
Age: 5
Fighting style: Surprise!
Appearance: Normal, unless one looks inside her mouth...
Description: Left her home of the hotter parts of Spring Cave to enjoy the sights away from the lava-filled caverns she was used to. While enjoying nature, she was greeted by Kakuna and Octillery at some point. With nothing better to do, she followed them, leading to life right now.
Personality: A mischievous soul who, despite her inability to talk, is always up for fun shenanigans. If she could talk, she would have a lot of quirky and cheeky things to say. Unable to do that, she makes up for it with drawings and interpretive facial expressions. Enjoys sneaking up on people to scare them.
Fun mistakes of the day:
#1: 'Wadloon's eyes snapped open'
(A wad of loons.)
#2: 'Charjabug crawled toward the level that called the elevator back.'
(Is this Toejam and Earl?)
#3: 'Swadloon's eyes widened in understanding. Oh, yes, she understood!'
(She's really understanding, is this one.)
#4: '"No way, bitch!" the crab yelled, punching the ELECTRIC BLAST'
(Oops. Guess this is Pokémon Red & Blue, now, eh? 'PIKACHU used THUNDERBOLT')
#5: 'Using Charge, he electrocuted his whole body, causing him to cry out loudly in pain.'
(Some electric-type you are.)
#6: "You can't have it, punk!" a relicanth shouted with tits shouted at Lileep,
(She shouted using her tits? Does she flap them about while talking, like a sock puppet, or something? Mysterious...)
#7: 'The slugma weakly frowned up at him. She started charging a move, though the quagsire didn't seem to care, even chuckling at her attempt.'
(The marshtomp fuckin' changed species after winning the fight, apparently. Or maybe Quagsire from Gates is here to mock her?)
#8: 'Picking himself up from a muddle puddle,'
(If you fall into the muddle puddle, you'll get all muddled up.)
#9: 'He spat out the apple crust and belched.'
(Slugma sure is generous. She apparently gave him a whole apple pie!)
#10: '"Forget it, I can't be bothered." He yarned.'
(*Bubsy wants to know your current location*)
#11: 'She doubted she would let him screw her, which didn't help...'
(Slugma, you silly tsundere, you...)
#12: "I fucking asked nicely, too, and you burn me dick for my troubles."
(Bloody 'ell fire! She burned me dick off, she did!)
#13: 'He started towards the general direction of where the water-tock assholes were'
(Is it that like tik-tok, but underwater? He did call them assholes, so maybe.)
#14: 'Notably, his nasty D all covered up.'
(It's a conspiracy! Lileep's dick is working behind the scenes, and has silenced the media on his actions! *Swallows another red pill*)
#15: 'He quickly shoved his head into his bag.'
(Time to play some Decap Attack: Caterpillar edition!)
#16: 'He noticed the radar orb as he did so, and was reminded of the general'
(I left this section alone to go get some sleep, and now several days later, I forgot what I was gonna write. XD I guess Charjabug's been in the army before. Or maybe he's just played too much Megaman X4, and remembered the easiest/hardest boss in the game.)
#17: 'The sound of constant 'diongs' immediately made themselves apparent.'
(What sound effect is that? At least my huge fingers pressed the letter i as well, or else I'd be making a completely different comment right now.)
#18: "Some other bitch bug pissed me off, earlier..." so I think I'm gonna pre"
(Oh, fuck... XD That's what I get for stopping mid-sentence to add something else. Is this going to be one of those gay rape scenes that're strangely popular in Mystery Dungeon lemon fics?)
#19: 'he threatened, trashing around.'
(Guess you could call him a litterbug. Hue hue hue...)
#20: 'Her Razor Wind would make short work of a good load of them,'
(Not only is that factually questionable, but I don't think she can use that one without a healthy amount of bullshit to back her up. Silly cocoon bug... thing. XP)
#21: 'He didn't pay the items around him'
(I get distracted by something, and the next thing I know is that Kakuna is being a cheapskate towards inanimate objects. What a bugger of a bug.)
-Bonus Explorers of Sky research mistake!-
#22: 'Piplup: "We should seed it up!"'
(Piplup's being a horny bastard again. Or maybe a gardener? Or he's using a seed item from his bag? ... Or all of the above?)
Well, that'll do for now! Thanks a ton for reading, mate! :P No idea when I'll get the next part to this written, but I'll keep ya posted. XP
Until then, tata for now! c: