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"Did you see that last guard's face?" Aerlaer snickered as they moved back through the King's halls.
"He actually rubbed his eyes, I think he thought he saw ghosts." Legolas chuckled quietly. Their return to Meduseld had been nothing short of hilarious, the moment they had left the secrecy of the garden. Gandalf had let slip his full identity to the King and had been overheard and now, all Edoras knew who he was, as well as Aragorn and of course, they all knew who Aerlaer was. The guards had near fallen over their feet when they realized it was she who stood before them.
Still amused, they wandered back outside. He knew now they should part ways and rest yet, he felt more at peace with her by his side. He did not want to leave her. He cast a glance her way, noting she no longer looked to be cheerful. She worried at her bottom lip, staring off at the bright moon.
"What is wrong?"
"Oh, it is nothing. The moon, he is so bright." She murmured, deflecting his question.
"No, there is something amiss." He turned fully to her, waiting for an answer. She did not give one. He thought back, wondering if he had done something to offend her. He was certain he had not. No, she had not been entirely cheery earlier, when he had bid her a good sleep when she retrieved her weapons. He peered at her although she refused to look directly at him, keeping her gaze upon the moon. It illuminated her face clearly.
"You are tired." He stated and she looked as if she would scowl but held back. "Aerlaer, why are you out here? Can you not find rest?"
"No, I cannot." She muttered, walking a few paces from him.
"Why not?" He called softly and after a moment, she let out a long, frustrated sigh, facing the moon once more.
"I have tried to sleep, there is nothing wrong with my bed nor chamber. I have tried singing to myself, naming all the plants which I know to grow in Middle Earth, I even tried sleeping on the floor. Still I cannot sleep." She huffed out the last bit, wrapping her arms about her.
"Then it is something else which bothers you?" He moved towards her as she nodded.
"In the herd, we'd sleep as a group for safety, under the stars. In Imladris and Lothlórien, always next to or in the same chambers or talans as family.
"And you've not had to sleep alone since we left Imladris." He mused aloud.
"Yes, and that was barely alone for I barely slept in Imladris and, well, because of what had happened, no one really wanted to leave me alone. The only time I have been entirely alone was when I fled the Fields and a couple times where I had fought with my brother or father and gone off alone when we journeyed together. Even one of those times, I was not exactly alone…" She trailed off as Legolas thought of her revelation.
She had not seen eye to eye with her father either, it seemed. He wondered why but decided not to ask. "It does make sense, Elves do not usually keep to themselves. Any race of Elves." He mused quietly.
"Yes, there is that too, I suppose. This is ridiculous though, I don't even have a herd now so I don't see why I must have such problems with sleeping." She said in disgust. "It should be a matter of just closing one's eyes, I am not an Elfling in need of a bedtime story."
Legolas was unsure how to reply to her outburst yet his mind was swiftly forming a solution to her problem. A completely irrational solution. It is not irrational, she will be able to sleep, I will be able to sleep having her once again in my sight, knowing exactly where she is.
His idea was certainly madness. Yet, there could be no harm in it. He knew he would not find rest, find no peace without her, as strange as that was to comprehend entirely and, he could not rest anyway, knowing she was miserable. If he could help her, why shouldn't he? He took her hand, feeling his heart begin to quicken.
"I have an idea." He said simply and she looked to him in surprise before following without question.
With each step, he fought with himself. What in Arda was he doing, he was meant to be keeping away from her, keeping this inner turmoil away from her but instead, he was stopping before her chamber door, opening it and finally letting go of her hand so she could enter. He followed, closing the door softly behind him. She turned to gaze at him in confusion.
It was now, he needed to back out of this idea. Now, he needed to stop and leave. He couldn't leave, he did not know why, he just couldn't. He sighted a plush, single chair and walked to it, taking a seat and stretching his legs out before him.
"Now, you may rest." He declared and closed his eyes. He knew she had not moved and that she still watched him uncertainly. By their customs, he should not be in this chamber with her. Well, you are not currently dictated by Elven lore. He reminded himself and clearly, the edhelroch rested often as a group.
"But, but what about you? Surely you would rather return to rest in your own bed, not in a chair." He opened his eyes to gaze at her. It was time to be honest, just, not entirely honest.
"I too could not find rest and I too had tried. At least here, I may be useful and remain so that you can rest. You look tired, Aerlaer."
"Will you try and sleep, at least?" He nodded, hoping to appease her. Still she frowned, chewing her bottom lip. "In a chair?" He shrugged.
"I shall manage." She wandered towards her bed only to pause again, turning to gaze at him once more.
"I do not think I could find rest knowing you are uncomfortable in a chair." She intoned dryly.
"It is not so bad."
"Legolas, even to sit in that chair, you are much too tall for it." She was right, it was designed for someone shorter, perhaps more petite. An elleth or a lady, not a tall, warrior built male. He made to try and get comfortable. "You look ridiculous." She added and he scowled. He just wanted to help her.
Perhaps he had crossed a boundary. He knew he already had but perhaps she wanted him to leave. He made to tell her he would leave if she wished it but instead, she caught his eyes, her own seeming all the more uncertain.
"I suppose you could share this bed with me?" He stared back at her in utter shock. "I mean, it is big enough for each of us to sleep at each side comfortably." She quickly added.
"Are, are you sure?" He asked her carefully, not daring to breathe, terrified if he did it would only fuel his heart to race faster. He searched her eyes, still noting the uncertainty, watching as they flickered to the large bed and then back to him. She swallowed.
"Yes." Her voice came out stronger, that one simple word a decision. "Go and get your blanket, it will be just like camping, only much more comfortable." She sent him a small smile. He nodded mutely, feeling out of sorts as he quickly left her chamber to enter his own.
Oh, what have I done! He leaned against the wall which separated them, trying to let his heart calm. This was not the way to stop this infatuation! This was only encouraging it. Why did he agree! Why didn't he just insist on remaining in that chair? That safe chair, many feet from her. It is not so different from camping, we have slept near each other at the exact same distance. It is no different.
All we are doing is lying on the same mattress. There is nothing more to it. Lying on the same mattress and sleeping. I won't even face her. I shall remain lying upon my back for the remainder of the eve. She would not have asked me if she did not trust me and I honor her trust and friendship above all else. It's no different to camping.
What he felt for Aerlaer, after all, was no different to how he'd felt for Tauriel and, he'd realized, in the end, he had cared for Tauriel as one would a sister or dear cousin or friend. Surely it was exactly the same with Aerlaer. That is how the elleth saw him. He had spent a little over two months now in constant company with Aerlaer, no different to the times he had spent with Tauriel, fighting and traveling through the Greenwood. Talking or in comfortable silence, leading the guard, working as a team. No difference, just both friends he cared about.
Consoled in his thoughts, he peeled himself from the wall and took the neatly folded blanket from the end of his impeccably made bed. With a calming breath, he walked back into the other chamber, closing the door quietly behind him.
"I thought perhaps you had changed your mind." Aerlaer grinned from where she now half laid, propped up by pillows, on the left side of the bed.
"Have you?" He asked, hedging towards the seat yet he feared she would say she had.
"Of course not." She now smirked, running her fingers quickly through her loose hair.
"Okay, well uh, here is my blanket. He moved to the bed, dropping the large blanket in a heap before turning around, although it was just hos cloak he removed, it almost felt like it were more.
Manwë, she makes things difficult. He let out another slow, steadying breath and unclasped his cloak, draping it over the chair he should be resting in. He turned, trying not to look at her, still detangling her long tresses, his previous consolation starting to unravel at the seams and it was all too easy to walk towards the large bed.
Hoping up onto the vacant side of the matress, he stretched out, dragging his blanket over himself.
"Are two pillows enough?" Aerlaer asked quietly. "There are more in the wardrobe."
"Yes, two is enough." He wriggled to lie flat, pushing one of the pillows away. Beside him, he knew Aerlaer was settling also. He shifted his eyes to see she too laid upon her back.
"Legolas?" Already she sounded as if she were falling to sleep.
"Hmm?" He realized he too felt that if he closed his eyes, sleep would finally come.
"The moonlight, it makes your hair look silver." Her words were mumbled as she shifted on her side of the bed, beneath her own blanket. He turned his head, wondering why she would say such a thing. She faced him, eyes closed, her face peaceful, a small smile gracing her lips, cheek resting upon her hands. His heart seared with warmth. Because he was there, she felt safe enough to sleep.
"Losto, Aerlaer." He whispered, closing his eyes, feeling, for the first time since arriving in Edoras, completely at peace.
…
A bell tolled somewhere and, refusing to awaken just yet, Legolas shifted, burying himself further under the warm blanket. When had simply sleeping ever felt so wonderful? He did not want to leave this bed, he did not fancy marching off, likely into more danger.
Just where was he going again? To a fortress, Helms Deep. That was it's name. No, he didn't want to wake up to go there. He wanted to remain comfortable, peaceful, with the suns warmth so close.
The sun… Aragorn had said they were to leave just after dawn. Now curious to the time of morning, he blinked his eyes open to be met by soft sunlight. He blinked realizing the room was still in grey shadow. Yet there was sunlight before him. Aerlaer. He froze, scrambling to recall the eve before and then remembered it clearly. He'd offered to stay with the elleth and in turn, she'd offered to share her bed.
So much for valiantly remaining upon his back, he lay close beside the elleth. Nerves starting to tighten within his stomach as he carefully propped himself up to gaze at her.
Aerlaer lay on her belly, her hair scintillating a pale gold, spilling wildly down her back and slightly over her peaceful, sleeping face. One arm stretched out and bent above her head and the other rested where his right hand held it. Alarmed, he gently removed his hand and carefully sat up so not to wake her. Oh this was a bad idea!
During the night it appeared she had kicked her blanket into disarray and had exposed most of her slender legs. Looking away, Legolas swallowed hard and quickly gathered up his own blanket, slipping hastily from the bed.
Snatching up his cloak, he made for the door, unsure what he would do if she awoke. As he touched the handle he turned back. He wanted to return, to feel that simple bliss again before he had fully awoken. No, he couldn't. That would be crossing a boundary and that would destroy their trust and friendship.
"Out of sight, out of mind." He told himself firmly, leaving the chamber to stride quickly to his own.
Silently he entered, letting out a breath of relief as he closed the door behind him. Heart still pounding, he strode into the chamber, dropping the blanket and his cloak upon the chaise and then tugged off the loose, cotton sleep shirt he wore.
"Ahem."
"Ai!" He spun in fright to face Aragorn, leaning in a shadow cast from outside. "Manwë, you scared me halfway to the Halls!" He hissed out, annoyed at the unwelcome intrusion and surprise.
Aragorn did not chuckle, he did not even grin. He said nothing, simply stared at him, hard. Folding his arms across his now bare chest, Legolas raised a brow at his friend "Aragorn, I would like to prepare for the day and the journey." The Ranger continued to stare into his eyes.
"Is there something I need to know?" He asked flatly.
"Pardon?" Legolas replied, utterly baffled why Aragorn was even there.
Steely eyed, Aragorn nodded towards his bed. "Unless I am mistaken, this bed was not slept in last night."
"Well, no. It was not. I could not sleep and, it turned out, neither could Aerlaer."
"I see. What did you do all eve?" Aragorn's words were wary.
"Oh, well, we spoke a little, ended up going for a walk, seeing as last eve was rather lovely, and then I suggested we return to her chamber for the remainder of the eve so we could-"
"Do not say any more, Legolas." Aragorn growled out.
"Pardon?"
"You spent an entire eve with her? I know you walked away from your kingdom, Legolas, but this is not acceptable. Where is your honor!"
"My? What?" He spluttered, utterly bewildered and then, he realized exactly what Aragorn thought. "No, no! That is not what happened, you misunderstand!" He rushed out, knowing his face paled.
"Then you had best explain, Legolas." He'd never seen his friend quite so angry towards him.
"Aerlaer is not used to sleeping on her own. She has never really had to, even in Imladris or Lórien. Her herd used to sleep often as a group under the stars, as a family unit I guess.
She has not slept since she arrived here, Aragorn. Knowing this, I could not leave her in such a state of weariness." He swallowed, peering at Aragorn who still frowned. "I offered to stay in the same chamber for I could not sleep either and I suspected it was because I am now also used to sleeping nearby others, which makes sense really because Elves are rarely alone and, I have been the exception of sorts these past years, but no more."
"And did you… find sleep?"
"Um, yes. Immediately it seems." Legolas answered quickly, watching the Ranger anxiously, waiting for him to speak.
"So you gave up a comfortable bed to sit in a chair so Aerlaer could sleep?That was a very kind thing to do."
"Uh, not exactly." Legolas murmured, not meeting his friend's eyes.
"On the floor?" The Ranger asked and Legolas felt his face colour a little, knowing Aragorn toyed with him now.
"The other side of her bed." He admitted quietly. "But that part was not my idea and, it was just like camping. Just more comfortable." He muttered, feeling defensive. Aragorn remained silent and it only made Legolas feel all the more uncomfortable. Rarely had he felt his friend's wrath and he hated it.
"Forgive me Legolas, I should not have leapt to such conclusions, I know you are pure of heart…" Aragorn trailed off, gazing at him cautiously, brows slightly furrowed.
"But?" He implored, unease growing that Aragorn had some reasoning behind this.
"But, after your little game with Aerlaer yesterday, I was concerned you had done something...reckless. I am glad I am wrong."
"What did she say?" What would she have said? Nothing had happened. Yet, why do I feel like something did? Why do I feel guilty?
"Aerlaer only mentioned you had played a game of hunt." Aragorn replied. "It was the look of your eyes yesterday which made me concerned when I could not find you this morning." Aragorn stood and walked to the door.
"And what did you see in my eyes?" Legolas asked very quietly, holding his breath waiting for the answer which would shatter all the lies he had been telling himself since they camped on the edge of Fangorn.
Aragorn turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "Anira, Legolas." He walked out of the chamber, shutting the door behind him.
Legolas stared at the wooden door running his hands back through his hair. He closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath of defeat. This was real and he was terrified.
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