Rose
"Two sisters," I guessed. "Both younger."
Dimitri shook his head as the waiter left to put in our orders. I relaxed back against the booth, burying my hands into the pockets of my sweater, toying with the small pendant tucked away in there, as I reassessed my guess. On the walk over here, after establishing he did in fact have siblings, he promised to buy me an entire pie if I could guess how many siblings he had, gender, and if they were older or younger.
"Really? I kind of see you as the tough overbearing older brother of two sisters," I explained, surprised I got it wrong.
"Nope," he shook his head.
"One older brother."
"Nope."
"Can you at least give me a hint?"
"It wouldn't be much of a challenge if I gave you a hint," he countered, a smile playing at his lips, hopefully indicating he was enjoying this relaxed atmosphere as much as I was.
"There is pie on the line here! Just one hint," I pleaded.
He laughed outright but didn't say anything.
"Two younger sisters, one older brother."
"Not even close," he responded. I deflated like a balloon in my seat, ready to give up on my dream of late night snacking on the chocolate cream pie I had spotted in the window when we first walked in to Denny's. Thankfully, he took some pity on me. "I'm actually a middle child, so there's a hint."
"Doesn't narrow it down much," I pouted.
"Well that's all you're getting out of me so come on, there is a complete freshly made pie over there with your name in it. Guess again," he urged me as the waiter brought over our hot coffees. We both cupped our hands around the steamy beverage still trying to warm ourselves up from the brisk walk here in the chilly weather. I started pouring sugar and cream in as I thought about it.
"At least tell me if I'm getting hot or cold?"
"Okay," he agreed.
"You're a middle child so there are at least three of you," I surmised, trying to read his face for any clues. The man gave nothing away. He was handsome almost to a fault but other than the amused pull at his lips every so often, he had a professional poker face. "You have three siblings."
"There is pie in your future," he confirmed, letting me know I was getting close. "Keep going."
"All girls," I guessed randomly.
"Future pie is almost a sure thing."
Okay good. I'm getting somewhere.
"Tell me how many older, how many younger, and the pie is in yours."
I was having a hard time imagining Dimitri is anything but the eldest of a large family of women but since he said he was a middle child I was going to guess the next best thing.
"Two younger, one older."
He shook his head, playfully sighing dramatically. "There is no longer pie in your future," he said before taking a sip from his mug. "You're future is pie-less. Sans pie."
"No sadder words have ever been spoken," I murmured as I took a welcome drink from my own coffee, warming my belly. "I just don't imagine you as anything but the overprotective, brute older brother," I explained my reasoning to him.
"I still played the part, even though I was the second to youngest," he explained.
"Fought off potential suitors for your sisters, struck any guy that looked at them the wrong way?" I guessed, delighted at the thought.
"Sometimes," he chuckled a bit but it didn't really reach his eyes. "I didn't hit my growth spurt until I was thirteen though so it was a little hard to intimidate my sisters' boyfriends when I was half their size and barely a hundred pounds soaking wet."
"Yeah but at least you still tried, right? I've always wanted an older brother."
"No siblings?"
I started to shake my head but then stopped. "Well, no not technically but my cousin and I grew up together and we're only a few months apart so she's more like a sister to me," I explained even though it felt like a lie at the moment.
Liss was still a little mad at me for being so "irresponsible" on New Year's Eve and since she had school, her internship, job, and spent a lot of her time at Christian's, we didn't have much time to try and patch thing up. It didn't help that I was still irritated that she brought up Janine. So we weren't talking much these days.
"So minus the cousin, you're an only child," he noted, seeming genuinely interested.
This was new for me. Not just talking about my personal life but talking about it with someone who really wanted to listen. Especially after we tried dancing around personal subjects the last time we were together and failed miserably. From the moment I met him, I realized he was easy to talk to. Not only because he listened but because he wanted to listen.
"Yup."
"Does that mean you're close with your parents?"
The pendant dug into my palm as my hand tightened around it in my pocket. I winced, hoping it wasn't visible but I could feel myself squirming in my seat at the p word. I had thought we were close at one point, that we were just like all the other families in the world. But boy was I wrong.
I could see it on his face, he knew that his question struck a nerve and he looked ready to back peddle and maybe apologize or change the subject but I beat him to it, shaking it off. This is ridiculous that after all these years, how much I'm still affected this way.
"N-no, no," I answered more firmly trying not to shake or stutter. "Not really." I cleared my throat and focused on drinking my coffee.
Dimitri looked ready to apologize for even bringing it up but something on my face must have stopped him. I didn't want pity or sympathy. I didn't want to talk about it at all. He must have understood because neither an apology or sympathetic comment left those beautiful lips of his.
"I'm not very close to mine either," he muttered around a sip at his mug, offering me a little bit of himself as contrition.
The waiter came back just then, setting our dishes in front of us. We dug in as soon as he left, both of us silently eating. It wasn't uncomfortable or strained. It was somewhat of a relief, actually, to be reminded that I wasn't the only person in the world with family issues.
We ate while mostly keeping to the always safe subjects of small talk like the weather and late night food we were eating. He told me about his night out on the town with his friends and how he just wasn't feeling up to club hopping.
"I think I'm getting old," he surmised.
I laughed around a bite of my food. "You're only thirty-two, aren't you? I don't think you can call yourself old until you're at least in your forties."
He laughed, finishing up what was left on his plate. "Fine, I'm not that old but, as Ivan likes to point out, I sure act like it."
His friend Ivan sounded fun. The perfect level of lively immaturity to Dimitri's uptight maturity. I was sort of jealous. Sure, Lissa and I grew up practically as sisters but whereas she was my only other friend other than Mia, she had people other than me in her life to ensure she was living her life to the fullest. Mia was my friend too, and so were Masen and Eddie to some extent, but they were wild cards just as much as I was so they didn't keep me level headed any more than I do for them.
"But what's your excuse?" he asked, pulling me from my thoughts. "You're twenty-two. Why aren't you out partying the night away?"
Yeah, why aren't I out partying the night away? Could it be my fear of making stupid decisions when I go out stemming from a less than average childhood? Maybe I just don't like going out anymore and I've matured at the ripe old age of twenty-two. Or it could just be that Liss is still mad at me and I'm trying to be on my best behavior and find my way back on her good side.
I'm still a little mad at her myself but I hate when we didn't get along. We grew up like sisters, best friends, the only person in my entire life that had always been there through everything and knew what I'd been through. Lately, though, we don't talk as often. It felt like she was starting this new, better life without me and I wasn't invited to be apart of it. My messy life had no place in hers anymore. She didn't get me anymore. I still couldn't figure out when it happened nor why but it hurt.
"I'm avoiding the party scene these days," I finally answered. "So, to avoid temptation, I don't go out much anymore. I'm trying to be good."
"As opposed to how bad you've been the previous years?" he asked intrigued.
If he only knew. Trouble had been my middle name the last couple of years.
"Actually yes," I admitted. "It was one of my New Year's resolutions. So far I'm off to a bad start," I mumbled stabbing my fork into the last bit of my food, shooting him pointed look. "The New Year's Eve," I hinted.
"New Year's Eve," he slowly repeated. I could see the wheels turning in his head, thinking back to our night of bliss just as I was. Tangled bed sheets, breathless pleading for more, fingernails scraping roughly over taut skin...yeah that was a night I would be remembering for the rest of my messy life. "It was a great night," he grinned around the rim of his coffee mug.
"Yeah it was," I agreed, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. I squirmed in my seat at the memories wondering if I'd ever have a night like that again: spontaneous, passionate, blissful. Probably not. The memories would have to do for now because I doubted there was a man on the planet that could top that night. And sleeping with Dimitri again just wasn't an option. I mean, as amazing as it had been, look how it ended. "But not my finest moment."
"Mine neither," he confessed, unsmiling, a million emotions swimming in his eyes all at once. "And as far as resolutions go, I'm not doing too well myself," he continued, offering me another bit of himself.
I glanced up at him through my lashes. He was staring down at his own empty plate. Making such an admission hadn't been easy on him but he did so anyway. That meant something to me. It was nice to feel like I wasn't the only one.
"I'm getting a sense of Deja Vu."
"Why do you say that?" he asks, as we wander out of the Denny's. I swing my arm with the bagged up pie in my grasp. Dimitri shocked the hell out of me and still bought me a pie despite the fact that I didn't guess completely correctly on our double or nothing deal. I almost didn't want to even eat it anymore because it would be the only physical reminder I had of a happy end to a craptastic day. I couldn't even begin to explain why I was so happy. The food was a strong contender in my reasoning but it was just Denny's. Nothing too spectacular. But I was starting to accept the possibility that it had nothing to do with the Denny's gourmet food and everything to do with the man beside me.
"Because, the first time we met, you were drinking in some bar and I was running away from home. And here we are again: you were drinking in some bar and I was running away from home," I explain.
"Aren't you a little too old to runaway from home," he asks, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. It's frigidly cold outside but bearable. At least it stopped snowing thankfully.
"Aren't you a little too accomplished to spend your nights at Denny's with some twenty three year old that still considers herself a runaway."
A foggy breath of air escapes his mouth when he laughs softly.
"That felt like more of a compliment than an insult but fair enough," he concedes.
We walk slowly, the snow crunching under our shoes.
"So, am I allowed to ask?"
"Ask what?"
"Why you runaway from home so often?"
I was hoping he wouldn't. I already said too much by bringing up the fact that I had left home twice now, needing to just get away. My fingers clutched around the pendant in my pocket again, so tightly that it almost hurt. I must have waited too long to answer. He reaches out to stop me from crossing the street, grabbing my arm to turn me towards him. He unintentionally pulls my hand from my pocket and with it, the pendant. He doesn't look surprised to see the chain hanging from grasps, probably having caught a glimpse of it back at the church. I want to stuff my hand back into my pocket but I also don't want the gentle touch of another human being to end so soon so I stay still, enjoying the feel of his hand on my forearm, imagining I can even feel the heat of hold seeping through my coat.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up," he apologizes. "I'm sure you have your reasons," he adds, his eyes darting to the chain in my hand and back up to my face again.
I didn't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. But that look in his, genuine regret at having brought up a core subject and something else. Understanding, maybe? He implied a couple of time now that he wasn't close to his family or, at the very least, that he had his own issues going on. Maybe he could relate in away. Even though the point of tonight was to runaway and forget, a part of me relished at the thought of getting everything off my chest, talking to someone who didn't know me well enough to rightfully judge me.
Finally, I shook my head, reluctantly pulling my arm out of his grasp to push my hair out of my face. I tucked my hand and the pendant safely back into my pocket as we continued walking. "It's not that. I mean yeah I have my reasons. It's just that I'm realizing that there are so many."
He snorts gently to himself. "I had a similar epiphany recently."
"Really?" Maybe he can relate.
"Really," he confirmed with an emphatic nod. "Plus I'm an expert on running away so we have that in common too."
Hmm. Maybe there was someone who could understand. As we neared the parking lot of the bar Dimitri had pointed out earlier on our way to Denny's, panic started setting in. I wasn't ready to go home and I was hoping Dimitri wasn't either. I don't wanna be alone now anymore than I did earlier tonight when I had wandered into the church. We didn't have to have a heart to heart or anything but we could just hang out and talk the way we had been all night.
"Did you drive to the church? I'll take you back to your car," he offered, unlocking the passenger side door and holding it open for me.
"Actually I took the bus. I drive a piece of crap that runs when it wants to."
"You took the bus in this weather? It's so cold out," he said, somehow chastising and concerned. "Hop in. I'll drive you home."
He read the hesitation on my face but for all the wrong reasons.
"Or if you're not comfortable with that, I can call a cab for you but it's pretty late out. I'd feel better knowing you got home safely."
There was a little squeeze in my chest. When was the last time someone was this concerned for me? Sure Liss and Mia cared but not without getting mad at me for putting myself in a dangerous situation in the first place.
"No, no, it's not that!" I was quick to reassure him. "I wouldn't have gone off with you earlier if I didn't feel comfortable."
His broad shoulders seemed to relax a bit and a soft smile touched at his lips. "So then what's wrong?"
I didn't get in just yet in case he said no to this. Is this what he felt like earlier when offered to take me to eat, putting himself out there for rejection, not that any sane person would turn him down. Not even me.
"I actually don't want to go home...well actually I can't," I struggled to explain.
"Afraid you might be grounded for running away?" he asked half joking, trying to see where I was going with this.
I laughed, nervous more than anything. "Something like that. I was thinking of just hanging in town for a bit, maybe going to see a movie or something. I just can't go home just yet. I'll explain if...maybe...you want to keep me company."
He hesitated only a second before answering, "Sounds good. Let's go."
I climbed into the car and Dimitri started driving in no particular direction.
"My aunt used to drive a car like this," I said as I snuggled into the warmth of the worn seats, the heat going full blast. "I have to ask though - and totally tell me to shut up if I'm being too nosy - but on a doctor's salary why do you drive such a relic?"
He smiled as he changed lines, following the steady flow of traffic. "If you saw my student loans when I graduated med school, you wouldn't be asking. I'm pretty much all caught up now but back then..." he trailed off, shuddering at the memory.
"Ah. Say no more. I help pay portions of Lissa's tuition. I know your pain."
"You pay for your cousin's tuition and your own?"
"Oh, no I'm not in school. Just Liss. We couldn't both afford to go school and I never knew what I wanted to do so..." I trailed off. "She's always been the bookworm between the two of us so it kind of made sense that she'd be the one to go."
I don't know what I expected him to say after that but it wasn't the short, "Hmm" I got in return.
"What?" I asked shifting in my seat to look at him.
"Nothing," he answered shortly, a small smile tugging at his lips as he spare me a glance away from the road. "It's just you're a pretty selfless person."
"And this surprises you? Should I be offended?"
He laughed as he turned onto the highway. "No, of course not. I don't really know you that well to judge you or anything like that. It's just young twenty somethings aren't usually so...unselfish. I know I wasn't," he scoffs to himself as though he isn't proud of whoever he'd been when he was my age.
"Really? Then what kind of young twenty something were you?" I asked intrigued. I looked him over, letting my eyes roam from the top of his silky head to the nicely encased shape of his long legs sheathed in dark jeans. He had one hand relaxed steering the wheel and the other casually resting on the gearshift. He was eased back into his seat, the picture of calm. I couldn't see him as anything more than the pretty easy going guy I met two weeks ago. But that didn't mean much since I'd only seen three sides of him: relaxed, sexy, and - my least favorite - impassive. This easy going, playful Dimitri was my favorite so far but sexy was a close second. In an enclosed space like this he smelled so good despite the night he spent out; fresh and soapy. And he looked so relaxed while driving, not a care in the world that some chick he had a disastrous one night stand with asked for a pity hang out. There was no sign of the distant man I had seen the last morning we'd spent together and I hope it stayed that way.
"A boring bookworm according to Ivan, troublesome according to my mother, and brooding according to everyone else," he listed.
I could see the broody part and maybe the bookworm but troublesome? A bad boy Dimitri, perhaps?
"What about you? What did you consider yourself?"
"A terrible mixture of all three," he laughed humorlessly. "College was a dark time for me," he said by way of explanation.
"I guess I didn't miss much by not going then."
"Did you want to? Go to college I mean?"
I shrugged as I turned back around in my seat, watching a thin layer of snow slowly trickle down, blanketing the city. "Never saw the point. I barely graduated high school and I knew I couldn't afford college. And even if I could I never knew what I wanted to do anyway so I figured I wouldn't waste the time or money."
"As hard as it was, most of college is about finding yourself and figuring things out," he explained.
"Really? And what did you figure out about yourself when you went?" I asked turning the topic around on him again. Not only because I hated talking about myself but also because I sincerely wanted to know more about Dimitri. It was nice listening to someone else for a change, someone new.
"I figured out that I was a runaway exchange student that didn't have the slightest idea what I wanted to do with my life, trying to figure out how to survive by myself in a foreign country."
"So you didn't grow up here then?" I asked, surprised. He had the barest hint of an accent. Noticeable with certain words but adorable.
"I was in Baia, Russia until I was sixteen."
"You ran away from Russia when you were sixteen?" He casually lifted one shoulder by way of answering. "I suddenly feel less cool about all the times I ran away as a teenager. I mean sure I ran away from home but I never left the country!"
He spared me an amused glance as he drove. "Don't sound so impressed. We have family here in the states that we visited a couple of times growing up so I wasn't completely lost."
"But you were on your own?"
"On my own and didn't know what the hell I was doing. And for the most part, I still don't completely know," he admits, almost sheepishly.
"You and me both," I murmured.
I used to think I had it all figured out. I thought, since I'd endured some of the worst experiences that life has to offer, that I knew how the world worked. All I had to do was work, focus on the present, forget the past, and take care of Liss. If I did those things, if I focused on our survival, everything would okay. But like the old adage, life is full of surprises. For instance I didn't expect how draining it would be working forty hours a week trying to make end's meat or how hard it is to repress childhood traumas or how difficult it would be to have a healthy relationship with another human being but most importantly, my cousin. Yeah, life's hard and it's terrifying trying to survive it all without the slightest clue on what I'm doing. But it's reassuring knowing I'm not the only one blindly stumbling through it all.
"My cousin and I aren't speaking right now." If Dimitri was surprised by my sudden announcement, he didn't show it. He also didn't say anything, waiting for me to continue. I felt like I said too much, opening up wounds I was used to keeping hidden but now that I spilled some of my personal issues they just kept coming out. "That's why I came out tonight, why I'm kind of running away from home," I elaborated.
I wonder if I sound childish to him, running away like a scared little girl because of some stupid fight with my cousin.
"Must have been serious," he surmised. "You said you two are close?"
"Thick as thieves," I smiled at the memories of Liss and I practically joined at the hip as kids. "Or at least we used to be. Now we can't even be in the same room without biting each other's heads off."
"Sounds like me and my mother growing up," he mumbled. "Maybe it's good you left the house tonight, then. Maybe you could both use some space."
"Maybe," I agreed though I didn't genuinely think so. We hardly see each other as it is, with work, her internship, her school, her boyfriend and her friends outside of Mia and I. Space seemed to be a part of the problem. Now that I talked about it all out in the open, it seemed silly. If distance had been our problem, would more distance really be a solution? Probably not but I didn't know what to say to Liss any more than she probably knew what to say to me without bringing up Janine or throwing all the mistakes I made in my face. "Although, the fact that I'm kind of running away with you isn't exactly helping?"
"Why? What do you mean?" he asked, his brows furrowing low.
"She's been mad at me for the last couple of weeks because of New Year's Eve when I spent the night with a guy I didn't know, at his house, without calling her which is incredibly stupid and dangerous."
"And here you are doing it again," he finished, understanding.
"It's not like I planned it," I defended. "Either time."
"True. It's just a really weird coincidence that we happened to run into each other tonight. Is she understanding enough to accept that?"
I shook my head. "Nope. Not a chance. But it's not like I'm gonna tell her."
"Isn't keeping secrets from her what got you into this mess in the first place."
He had a point there. "Technically yes but it was also some other stuff. It's not so much what I did. It was everything we said afterward that made it worse. Or, I guess in this case, didn't say since we haven't really spoken. We just haven't been getting along lately so I've been making myself scarce around the house to maturely avoid it all," I said sarcastically. "Which includes running away at night to avoid awkward dinners where we either argue or don't talk to each other at all."
"And is this a permanent runaway or a temporary thing?"
"Usually temporary," I answered after a beat. There were plenty of times I thought about taking a page from my father's handbook of running away from my problems and never looking back. I could never do it though. Despite everything, Liss and I were each other's only family. I could never leave her like that. Even if it felt like she was leaving me behind sometimes. "And I usually don't get off at the wrong stop and end up at a church. I treat myself to a movie and Denny's and whatever else the night has to offer. As for how long this particular runaway will last..." I trail off, looking out the window as I realize he's driving us toward his beach house. I smile, grateful for the chance to enjoy the beautiful escape even if it is too dark right now to really appreciate it. The smell of the ocean, the feel of the salty air and snow, and the sensation of being in another world is enough. "I guess that's up to you and how long you're willing to put up with me," I tell him laughing nervously but also giving him an out in case it's starting to sink in what a mess of a woman I am.
"The same goes for you," he replies and I relax a bit. He's giving me an out too, a chance to turn away from whatever this night is turning into.
A/N: Alright you dedicated readers, followers, favoriters, etc...here's the dealio: It's been a rough couple of months outside of the safe haven of fanfiction and unfortunately when real life comes a knockin' I have to answer it which is why I have been sucktastic at updating the last two months so major apologies! Y'all are still awesome and you guys don't have the slightest idea how much your reviews/favorites/follows mean to me. Especially after all this time so thanks again! My plan is to finally finish this rewrite, repost the original chapters in the original TMOTY, and then scrub my hands clean of TMOTY all together because it's been a struggle trying to keep this update going while wanting to post all these new stories I started. But the updated version means a lot to me and it's my goal to actually reach a goal and finish this story so wish me luck and I hope you guy enjoyed the chapter and I'm doing my darnedest to get the next one up soon! Comments/suggestions/criticisms on plot/grammar are welcome!