Dimitri

Rose hopped out of the car the second I pulled to a stop. Except for the soft crunch of sand and snow beneath our shoes and the waves rolling onto the beach, it was calm and quiet. I had planned on just driving back to my house. It occurred to me about half way there how presumptuous that might seem but I also didn't know where else to go so late at night. I ended up driving to the same overlook I jogged to in the mornings. There was just enough illumination from the moon and the headlights from the car to see by.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought you here of all places."

Rose kicked her boots against the surface of the sand and spun around, the smallest hint of a smile on her lips.

"No, no I don't mind. It's perfectly actually."

I don't know what I expected when this night started back at the church but it wasn't this. The openness, willinging bringing up facts concerning my family and everything going on in my head the last couple of years. If her hesitance was any indication, it seemed like talking about our individual problems was a novelty for Rose too. It wasn't my idea of a night out, thinking about my family when I was doing my damnedest to forget but it wasn't horrible. In fact there was a sense of relief being reminded that I wasn't the only person in the world with family issues.

I wondered if she was disappointed that I wasn't as worldly and all knowing as I may have come across when we first met. That first night I had the impression that Rose was impressed or at least enamored that I was older and at least somewhat established as a functioning adult. Little did she know that I was about as well put together as a sand castle: seemingly firm yet always in danger of crumbling into minuscule pieces.

The wind was stronger out here. It was like being hit by solid walls of ice. Rose shuddered as her hair flew every which way but she inexplicably held her unwavering smile.

"You should know that this is becoming one of my favorite places in the world."

"The beach or my house?" I asked, nodding toward the shadow of the house that could barely be seen in the distance.

"Both. So don't call the police if you see me hanging around here one day, casually chilling in your living room."

"I'll try not to panic," I responded, humored.

"It's so beautiful!" she called out into the wind, her voice carrying away into the wind. "I think its the quiet. I live in the suburbs and it's an eerie kind of quiet. Almost unnatural but here..."

"It's different," I finished for her, understanding. This was one of my favorite places too. My safe haven away from the rest of the world. The quiet was the best part. But it wasn't horrible having someone else here, someone who didn't necessarily know the dark and dirty details about my life and couldn't judge. Rose didn't knew as much about me as I did her which was saying a lot but its what worked best. It was a reassurance knowing there was someone who could relate but couldn't judge.

She offered me a small smile and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, different." She hugged her coat tighter around her and moved a little to keep herself warm. I reached out, feeling the material of her coat. It wasn't the thickest and I was suddenly reconsidering my genius idea to drive us to an overlook in the middle of winter.

"Not my best idea, bringing you out here in the middle of winter."

"It's not so bad," she shrugged. "Wouldn't mind drinking something with a bit of a kick though, to keep me warm. You should keep a stash in your trunk for such occasions."

"Having stored away alcohol at the ready for all the runaway women I bring up here? Wouldn't that make me seem kind of sleazy?"

She laughed, probably at the worried expression on my face. "It'd be the perfect touch to your seduction routine. But for now..." she stepped toward me leaning back against the front of the car, standing between my legs, so that there wasn't even a millimeter of space between us. My arms automatically wrapped themselves around her small trembling frame. "This'll be fine." A sigh of relief escaped me. I didn't think this would happen again, not so soon and especially not after the unpleasant morning after all those weeks ago. I wanted this. I needed this to happen again. I just had to hope Rose wanted this as much as I did.

I didn't have to worry long to find out. She leaned forward on the very tips of her toes, lifting her face towards me. She smelled sweet and tasted even sweeter, the sugary goodness of the Denny's desserts still lingering on her lips. It was a short chaste kiss but it was enough.

"Is this...was that okay?" she asked hesitantly.

Okay? That we're doing this? Again? As practical strangers but at least going into this knowing a bit more than we did about one another the first time around? Was she hesitant because she didn't think I wanted this or her again? Because of how quickly I distanced myself that morning when it was starting to feel too real and too much? None of this was smart or rational or sane but, in that instance, everything in me was screaming that it was more than okay.

My hands skimmed down her sides and along her back until I reached the edge of her coat. Even leaning back against the car I was too tall for her to comfortable kiss me. I lifted her up, her feet hovering off the ground as her arms wrapped around me. This second kiss was fervent and slow and every bit as weakening to my knees. We couldn't stay out here like this for long or I'd collapse, bringing Rose down with me. As hot as this was growing between us, it was still close to freezing.

Reluctantly, I pulled my lips from hers. Her eyes lingered on my mouth as I spoke. "Let's head back to the house. It's too cold out here."

She nodded but neither of us moved to leave. My fingers fiddled with edge of her coat, itching to grab a hold of her, hauling her up and into my arms so that we'd get into the car and back to the house that much faster. But something in the way her eyes were downcast, suddenly so focused on the zipper of my coat, stopped me from doing so.

"Rose...we don't have to..."

She was already shaking her head as I trailed off. "It's not that. I want to. Like, really want to," she insisted with an anxious smile but it faded as quickly as it appeared, replaced with a somber expression. There was a glimmer of fire in her eyes, even with the limited light around us, I could see it but something was holding her back. "I just don't want this to end like last time."

Exactly what I was afraid of. That my sudden change in mood the last time we were together would come back to haunt me. When I didn't immediately respond or offer an reassurances, a nervous laugh escaped from between those full lips I desperately wanted to return to.

"Is that...does that sound crazy? I sound crazy don't I?" she asked, uncertainty lacing through her words. In a sense, it should have sounded crazy to me. This was only the second time we met.

"No...no it's not crazy. It should be," I admitted, chuckling myself. She hesitantly smiled but her eyes were focused on me now. "We've only met twice. Including tonight, in all the time we've spent together, I think we've spent more time having sex than talking," I pointed out, eliciting a laugh from her. "Great sex, by the way." She laughed outright, her entire body shaking with mirth. It's a strange sensation - a good sensation - being able to give someone brief happiness like that. "And even then we still don't even know that much about each other. But no it's not crazy."

"Well...I know that I like you...and being around you..." Her words wrapped around me and then flew themselves right through me. I couldn't remember the last time someone had said something so simple and yet their words made me feel a little more okay than normal. I felt, dare I say, good? Maybe even great. When was the last time someone told me they liked me? Or even having me around? The reassurance was something I apparently needed to hear because a weight was lifted off of my chest. Not a lot, but just enough for the tension to leave my body. And, like everything else about tonight, I couldn't figure out why. Things always seemed better with me gone. At least that's what I always reasoned in my head. It made sense. Is it possible I could have been wrong all this time? One girl tells me she likes me and my entire method of reasoning instantly starts failing. Ivan would be proud. I was speechless but recovered quickly, hopefully before she noticed the impact her confession truly had on me.

"It takes you one sentence to convey what it takes me a minor rambling speech to get out."

She lifts one shoulder in a shrug, the orbs of her chocolate eyes flickering up to my own, unable to meet my gaze for too long. "It's the truth. I like you. I've been skirting around the truth all night...subtle hinting that my life is pretty much a wreck but as tired as I am of telling half truths I figure I should at least be completely honest about the one thing that's made me feel..." she trailed off, carefully choosing her description for how exactly I made her feel. I wonder if she's having as much trouble as I am muddling through all these feelings and emotions after only two nights together as I am. None of this makes sense but at the same time I can't bring myself to try to rationalize it. "...better than I have in a long time," she finally finishes.

"I know the feeling," I exhale, relieved that her feelings about this are somewhat on par with my own confusion, attraction, and fear about all of this. "I don't know what it is...what this is either-"

"And you call yourself a doctor," she teased, interrupting.

I smiled, taking the moment to enjoy running my fingers along her back, tangling in the ends of her feather soft hair. "I know." I shook my head, jokingly rueful. "I should know better. But I do know that I want you."

And hopefully that's enough.

If my lack of confession of my feelings offended her in anyway, if the way I simplified the time we spend together to simple 'want' hurt her, she didn't show it. Her youthful face but haunted, dark eyes were impassive but relaxed. She wore an easy smile as her fingers locked into my hair, anchoring herself closer.

"I want you too...and maybe, for right now, that's enough of an explanation."

A girl after my own heart. At least we're on the same train of thought.

Deciding that was as much depth of discussion as I was willing to delve into for the night, I nudged my nose against her own, tilting her face up, meeting a soft lips in a lingering kiss. I liked her too. I liked her since that first morning after right before everything went to hell. The words were there, on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't say it. I'd been as open as much as I was capable all night, admitting more about myself than I ever had to someone that wasn't Ivan, Tasha, or an immediate part of my family. But this - returning Rose's simple admission, that I not only wanted her but that I also liked her, that being with her made me a little less uneasy - I was incapable of. Hopefully the kiss we were sharing conveyed enough.

She didn't seem to mind too much that I didn't respond with anything other than a kiss. Or she was too distracted. Either way, I was relieved. The kissing, unhurried and gentle, went on until I felt her shiver, the wind and light snow picking up around us. Reluctantly I pulled myself away but only to lead us back inside the car. I held her door open and she climbed in but instead of letting me close her door so I could circle around to my side, she grasped the front of my coat and pulled me in with her, leaning as far back into the car as she could until I fell ungracefully on top of her. She gasped and laughed at my sudden weight on top of her.

"Sorry," I apologized, feeling like a ungainly teenager all over again.

She leaned up on her elbows, capturing my open mouth with her own. "Don't be," she whispered against my lips. The soft vibrating sensation of her lips a hairsbreadth away from my own was my undoing.

I was instantly grateful that my car had bench seats, making it no less uncomfortable but more bearable than if there had been a console down the center. I tucked my legs on either side of Rose, pulling myself completely into the car and reached back to shut the door on the frigid wind. As cold as it was outside, inside this car, it was anything but freeing. The heavy breathing alone was enough to fog up the windows and what parts of Rose's skin I was able to feel as my hands found their way beneath her layer of clothes were warm. Her legs were wrapped tight around me but her feet hit the car door when I rocked against her in my urgency to press myself closer, shifting us both. She startled at the thump of her boots against the door, surprising me enough with her small squeal that I hit my head on the handle of the driver's door.

We both fell into a fit of mostly amused but nervous airy laughter as tried to adjust my legs on either side of her without falling off to one side.

"Maybe it'll be better for you if we moved to the backseat?" She suggested.

"I think either way, my legs are in trouble." But considering the situation and what we both wanted to happen at the moment, I was willing to endure certain discomforts.

"How 'bout this?" she proposed, pushing against me to sit up. I felt the loss of her heat the moment we were apart. Already my hands were reaching her waist, urgent to pull her back toward me. I held back, knowing that if we couldn't find a comfortable position here to work with, we'd have to stop so I could drive us back to the house. Even though I knew it'd be easier for both of us if I drove us the short distance to my place, at the rate things were heating up, I didn't think either of us could wait that long. We scooted around in the cramped space until I was sitting, my back against the door and my legs stretched out along the seat with Rose was straddling my lap. I definitely approved.

"This could definitely work."

We were perfectly aligned this way, the core of our centers meeting in a tense connection.

"Yeah I thought so," she said smugly. Timid Rose and Honest Rose were both gone, replaced by the fiery, confident woman I met all those nights ago. She lowered herself closer against me while slowly unzipping the front of my coat. The top buttons of my shirt followed afterward. She didn't undo all of them. Just enough for her lips to find their way down my neck, heading south slowly towards my chest. "You know...I never returned the favor," she brought up, just as her hands worked the belt at my waist and the zipper on my jeans.

"Favor...?" I asked around a shudder as she gently scraped her nails against my taut stomach beneath the edges of my shirt that weren't undone and down the top of my unbuttoned jeans. There wasn't a coherent thought in my mind other than fighting myself from grabbing her wrists, laying her back down onto the bench seat flat, and doing this my way with me in control.

Her ministrations, slow and smooth, continued as she spoke. "You worked me over pretty well the first time we went at it," she reminded me. "And the morning after. In fact, the entire night was spent with me mostly on the receiving end of your hard work."

"I had my fun too," I breathlessly assure her. "You don't have to do this, Rose."

I managed to exhale out as her fingers graze the band of my briefs, sliding their way inside. I pressed myself as far back into the seat is possible, my body feeling both weightless and trembling with fervor. "Yeah, I know but I never got to return the favor. You still have one over on me," she said, reminding me of our first night together.

I could hear the self-satisfied smile in her voice with the control she had over me. The affect of her fingers was apparently enough to send me spiraling and I was savoring every minute of it.

"And I believe I said I'd eventually take you up on your offer."

"Good. Then tonight it's my turn," she decided.

Her turn, to be in control? To work herself around me the way she wanted? I didn't care. She could do whatever she wanted as long as she didn't stop. Her hands were slow and smooth, stroking along the length of my skin, her gestures hindered by the elastic of my briefs. She freed me from the confines of my jeans while maneuvering herself down low. I don't know how she managed it but one moment I'm shivering with anticipation and the next I'm swallowed by the enveloping warmth of her mouth.

I'd be lying if I say I didn't want to immediately push myself further into the moist heat of her lips. My body reacted immediately, craving and restless for me to drive myself deeper into her mouth. I clutched the material of the seats, a low guttural groan escaping from my chest as I struggled to breathe through the gentle grazing of her teeth along my skin. I couldn't fight it any more, my fingers winding themselves in her hair, tightening the more the pressure her ministrations built up. She squeezed the rigid denim covering my thighs and pulled back.

"You can let go," she tried to reassure me.

I breathe out slowly, trying to regain some semblance of coherence but I was too close to the edge of my release.

"No, it's okay...you don't-"

She moved up enough to kiss the skin along the length of my unfastened jeans.

"I want to."

When I still gave a slight shake of my head and attempted to lift her up from her position between my legs, she held firm.

"I want to do this with you."

It was her choice of words that did me in. It wasn't her wanting to do this for me or because she felt she had to. At least not entirely. We clearly both have our own issues to work through and both of us consider losing ourselves with someone else part of the temporary solution. It was less lonely and comforting in its own sense and I wanted to do this - to have this with her - as much as she seemed to want it with me. I held her face between my hands, helping to untangle the mess I'd made of her hair as I spoke.

"I want this too...with you," I said awkwardly but she laughed anyway.

Instead of letting her go back down on me, I pushed forward, pinning her back against the seat the way I wanted to before. It was ungraceful and bumbling but we landed with a small "huff", laughing as Rose laid on her back. I went in to kiss her but she pulled back, grimacing.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but we've had sex before?"

"Meaning we've exchanged bodily fluids before - in a variety of fun positions I might add - and this bother's you?" I ask, amused.

"Not me. I thought it'd bother you. I just had you in my mouth," she reminded me.

"In retrospect, I've had you on my mouth."

And what an erotic experience it had been. Would the experience be the same with the roles reversed? The taste of myself mixed with Rose? I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't curious. "I enjoyed it."

For an instant she almost looks embarrassed as she admits, "Well...I enjoyed you too...I just didn't think, this time around, you'd want to kiss me after. Guys are always weird afterward about kissing when they've been..." she trailed off, her eyes widening. "I mean not that there have been many guys...I mean I haven't..." She trailed off into a nervous laugh as I smiled at her rambling. So Rose had an adorable side too?

"Rose, It's okay. I don't mind. I know you're experienced." Her dark eyebrows raised considerably as I realized what I'd just insinuated. "I mean not experienced but I figured you've been with other guys before." That didn't sound any better. When exactly did my foot find its way into my mouth?

"And how do you figure that?" she asked, raising herself up on her arms. I didn't make any move to move off of her though.

"I just...you're not exactly the shy type and you seem like the type of woman that knows what she wants and...and anything else I say is going to come out wrong."

She silently stared at me, probably weighing how much she wanted to have sex tonight with how much I was turning her off right now. Luckily, she dissolved into a fit laughter, laying back down against the seat. Pulling me down with her.

"We're just both stepping in it left and right," I laughed with her.

"Yeah we are," she agreed, tightening her fingers in my hair. "So you better kiss me before the mood is completely ruined."

I tenderly touched my lips to hers before she could change her mind. She gladly welcomed me in, allowing me to savor her and myself on her tongue. The taste itself left an intriguing impression but the truly sensual part of all was the memory that'd she had me between her lips in the first place seemingly because she wanted me. She offered to finished but I couldn't, not like that, not when I was so close. I wanted to be inside of her when that happened, both of us falling apart together. If we really both craved and needed this, then we definitely both needed the release. We should have it together.

From that kiss onward, the night quickly escalated. I don't know if it was the overwhelming relief of having another chance with this woman - when I was so worried I had screwed it up before - or the unfamiliar excitement of starting something with Rose and not knowing where it was going, but I didn't want to waste anymore of our time tonight. It wasn't long before our clothes were decorating every available surface of the car. It wasn't easy but eventually, we were heated skin against heated skin. Rose's legs wound themselves around my waist, urging me along, and I pushed inside of her with a satisfied groan. In that one instance, the hold her body had over my own, the loss of control, of having someone so close was sensational and mind blowing all at once. I could only hope Rose had the same experience, and was reassured, when she fell apart around me a few moments before I found my own release.

Sex had always been a liberating act for me. I never felt more at ease then after using my body for the ultimate control. It was a power trip. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn't healthy in some sense to think that way but it was all I had to fall back on during all the years I spent working and - with the exception of Ivan and Tasha - practically alone. I'm always tightly wound and ready to move on to the next thing I had to do in my life but right there, in that car with Rose, I was still coming down from the endorphin high of all that we'd just done. Even that first night we spent together, I hadn't been ready and willing to just move on to the next part of my day when we were finished. Being with her, I had wanted to linger and last, stretching our time together as far as possible. As usual, I screwed it up and put distance between us before things could grow too intimate, but tonight, I wasn't going to allow that to happen. The admission that we had some semblance of feelings for one another beyond sex made me realize that I wanted something out of this, something more than the physical aspects. I just wasn't sure what it was exactly that I wanted.

Rose shivered, burrowing closer against my skin for warmth. I was sitting with my back against the door again, while she curled up between my legs. Neither of us had recovered enough to put our clothes back on or were ready to leave quite yet. I had spread our coats over us for warmth but not even our combined body heat could keep the chill from seeping into the car from outside.

"We should go," I suggested. "It's getting colder."

She didn't answer right away. I leaned down to find her eyes closed and realized her breathing had evened out as she started dosing.

"Not yet," she mumbled.

"We should at least get dressed then," I prompted but she didn't move and I couldn't bring myself to move her. I reached up to at least turn the heater on but before I could even reach the knob she grabbed my hand, pulling it back under the coats where it had been resting on the small of her back.

"A few more minutes and then we'll go."

I wasn't quite ready to move yet either. The moment we untangled ourselves I worried things would be different; nothing we said tonight would seem real. We'd chalk everything up to the heat of the moment. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that it was ultimately up to us to not let that happen, to shake tonight off and pretend it was just impulse that brought us here but I couldn't help worrying. I tightened the coat around her shoulders, tucking the sides in around us and hunkered down as comfortably as I could for what turned into one of the best nights of sleep I'd had in a long time.

I didn't think I could fall asleep like that. One moment, there was nothing but the dull roar of the ocean and the night enveloping us in darkness. The next, I open my eyes to the high caw of seagulls soaring along the overcast beach. I squint my eyes against the morning light streaming through the windshield as I stretch, trying to sit up, but Rose is laying against me, pinning me down. She's already awake and mostly dressed as she struggles to slip her feet into her shoes as I rub the sleep from my eyes.

"You know, we didn't have to get completely undressed to have sex," she says, running her hands hurriedly over her arms to warm herself up after she pulls her shirt on. It wasn't as cold as it had been last night but it was still pretty chilly. "It's freezing."

I yawned and stretched.

"I was hoping body heat would be enough to keep us warm."

"It totally was," she agreed as she pulled my coat up to cover us both. "But body heat only lasts so long when you're sleeping in a car on the beach in the middle of winter."

"I'll remember for next time," I told her as I started searching around for my own clothes. I was sipping up my jeans and buttoning up my shirt when she spoke again.

"So...there's going to be a next time?" I didn't consider the implication of my response but Rose must've. Is there going to be a next time? Did I want there to be a next time? Or was this like my previous sexual encounters, a hit it and quit it kind of deal? That's what we both wanted when we started out, that night at the bar: one night with a stranger without any strings holding us together afterwards. That's what we both thought we needed. Maybe we're wrong.

I turned to face Rose, my eyes meeting her uncertain ones. There was no mistaking the note of insecurity in her voice.

"I hope so. I guess that's up to us..." I sighed, a little doubtful myself of where I was going with this. "To figure out what happens next."

She nodded slowly, all of this undoubtedly weighing on her mind as much as it was on my own. There was no mistaking the spark between us. The only question was, what were we going to do about it?

A/N: It took me a heck of a long time but I finally got it done! Thanks for being so patient and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! See you guys soon!