Rose

Dimitri rummaged around his cabinets for two forks and poured us each a cup of coffee. Despite the long night we'd spent together, I still wasn't quite ready to go home yet. We drove back to his place to wash up a little and have some breakfast. He settled in the stool beside me at the counter as we dug into the pie from last night.

"As a doctor, I think I'm morally required to state that eating pie for breakfast isn't the healthiest option."

I smiled around the bite I shoveled into my mouth. "I don't exactly see you pushing it away," I pointed out as he scooped a forkful into his mouth. He moaned a little as the sweet filling melted into his mouth.

"It'd be very rude of me to let you eat this completely unhealthy pie alone."

I nodded toward his glass cabinets containing what was probably his usual breakfast. "No, but it sure as hell beats oatmeal."

He chuckled, taking a larger forkful this time. "You have me there."

We polished off the pie and our coffee in silence, both of us probably reflecting on the last couple of ours we'd spent together. I wanted to cringe each time my unsteady voice floated through my head, refusing to let me forget the unsure tone of my voice and the words that followed.

"So...there's going to be a next time?"

It took some effort to keep me from slapping myself in the face. I mean, seriously? What was it about the morning after that always made it so awkward? I'm so confident at night, under the cover of darkness, admitting I liked and wanted him right after he admitted he admitted the same towards me but this morning, when I woke up, I was worried it was just the lust talking, that any admissions we'd made last night didn't mean anything when were were intimate right afterward.

So when I woke up, I had to know for sure but could I have sounded more insecure? And where did that question even come from? It sort of just flew from my mouth, jumping at the chance to answer one of the questions floating at the back of my mind about this guy I liked and if there might be anything between us other than flirting, sex, and easy conversation. This was only our second encounter together and yet...I don't know how to explain it. There's something there. It's not bad or anything. It's something good, something I feel kind of okay about. Or maybe I just want there to be something there. The big question here was, did Dimitri want something there too?

He said he hoped so but what if he just felt pressured to say that, backed into the corner by the girl with the blatant issues? What if I came across as though I only wanted there to be a next time for sex and nothing else? Is that what I wanted? Just sex? Wasn't that what I wanted in the first place? Is that what he meant when he said he hoped so, that he hoped there was a next time for only more sex and not a relationship? Or was it the other way around? When did I become the girl that analyzes and agonizes over every aspect of a short conversation? And why can't I stop asking so many damn questions? I need a cigarette. I sound crazy, even in my own head. I can only imagine how I might have sounded to him. Desperate? Crazy? Clingy? All three with a side of pathetic?

But I'm not hundred percent sure where this is coming from. I started "hanging out" with guys since I was thirteen and in all my years with the opposite sex there was never anything particularly special about any of them. Not even the few that I let hang around longer than my usual month or so and tried to slap the "girlfriend" label on me. But that was mostly because of the type of guys I went for. I didn't always pick winners. In fact I tended to dip my toes into the dating pool of losers that spent more time in prison than out of it; guys who weren't good for much of anything than the occasional wild time, easily attainable alcohol, a quick fix and sex all packaged into one human being; guys who either didn't mind or didn't care that they were a temporary distraction for a girl - whose last name they didn't even know - using them to avoid facing her own problems.

So what is it about this guy? I thought that maybe it's because he's a good listener. I can't remember the last time I wanted to talk and there was actually someone there willing to listen. Or maybe it was because I genuinely laughed when I was with him. He made me smile more than I think I ever have sober. And don't even get me started on the sex. I mean, that's what this was about initially, wasn't it? Temporarily losing ourselves in the comfort of someone else? So when did it change? And why? I was kind of too scared to really think about it and yet I couldn't go more than a couple of seconds without thinking about it.

"I guess that's up to us...to figure out what happens next."

My stomach sinks. If I'm fifty-percent of the decision making in "what happens next" between us, we're screwed, doomed from the start. I'm a natural born screw up, only capable of earning pay checks from the most menial jobs possible and unable to maintain even the most basic of relationships with men other than with sex. Yup, we're doomed. Best not to get my hopes up. Maybe if I don't mention it again, he won't either and nothing will have to change. We'll just hang out and have sex until it stops working for us. No harm done, nothing gained or lost. The only problem was, I was almost sure I didn't want that. Not this time. But how do I do that? I don't know how to not screw it up. I must have started frowning or maybe my sudden fear started showing on my face. The clink-clink of Dimitri's fork against my own stirred me from my thoughts. He dipped his face low, trying to catch my eyes.

"Is the pie not settling well?" he quipped but those deep sable eyes of his were a little worried, eyeing the pie tray. "I know it was cold last night but I don't think that makes up for that fact that we didn't refrigerate it."

I found myself smiling, despite the emotional turmoil flowing through me. "No it's fine. For now anyway," I added, realizing he had a point. I'd completely forgotten about refrigerating it. "I think we're good as long as long as it doesn't have any cream."

"Then why the long face all of a sudden?" he asked standing to refill our mugs of coffee, wincing as his feet touched the floor. "Does your body aches as much as mine? I think I'm too old to sleep curled up in my car."

I laughed, slightly in disbelief. "You're only a decade older than me-"

He groaned dramatically as he sat back down. "Don't say it like that. It makes me sounder older."

"-but you certainly don't look it," I finished, smiling at his pleased look. "And if last night was anything to go by, I'd say you're still pretty flexible."

"Tell that to my body 'cause that's not how I feel now," he grumbled into his mug but his lips were raised slightly on both sides, amused. "Speaking of last night..."

Uh-oh. Here we go. The moment of truth. I felt the smile slip right off my face and into my coffee mug. This was the part where he says "It was great but..." or maybe a "We should do it again. The sex, I mean, and nothing more because you clearly have more issues than I'm willing to handle". Yeah, he might give me something along those lines. Should I just leave to avoid it? But I still want the sex? A part of me knows how unhealthy and wrong that is but it's the truth. Maybe I can leave and just send a text later if we're both up for it? I don't even have his number, I realize. Or even know his last name. Oh god. I'm just like the losers I usually date! Does that make me the loser? Are we both losers since he doesn't know my name either?

"...didn't think that my intentions last night were to get you back into bed again," he was saying but trailed off as he realized I had tuned him out for a minute. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I nodded though that was clearly a lie as I couldn't even hold my mug without it trembling. What the hell is happening with me right now? I lowered it back down to the table.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was saying that I hope my intentions last night were clear," he says slowly, as though realizing I'm not all together there at the moment. The few hours of sleep in the car weren't helping.

"And what were you're intentions last night?"

He sort of shrugged. "I don't know. I think I just didn't want to be alone," he says, still speaking slowly, as though it was difficult to admit aloud and, honestly, who can blame him? What man wants to admit that he didn't want to be alone?

"Me either," I admit.

The tension in his broad shoulders relaxed slightly, as though relieved I admitted the same thing. "My point was, that I didn't intend to sleep with you last night."

"Oh, then I'm sorry I seduced you?"

"You didn't seduce me. That's not what I meant. I meant that I didn't intend for us to end up in bed together."

"We were in a car," I point out.

"Rose," he chuckles at my interruptions. I decided to stay quiet and let him finish what he has to say. Where is he going with this? "I meant that sex was part of my intentions when I asked you to hang out last night. I didn't ask you out, intending to sleep with you."

"Literally sleep with me or physically?" I asked, both confused and a little worried.

"Both."

"What?"

It's almost comical the way his eyes widen and he stumbles over his own words to amend what he said. "I'm making such a mess of this," he mumbles to himself. "I meant that when I asked you out at the church, I wasn't plotting to get you into bed."

"Yeah I think God would frown upon you seducing me in church."

His mouth tilts up on one side, humored, as he goes on. "I really just didn't want to be alone last night. I enjoyed spending time talking to you."

"So sleeping together was just a bonus, then?"

He laughed aloud. "It was great. And so was the sex."

I laughed along with him, resisting the urge to roll my eyes, before a worry, gnawing at the back of my mind poured its way out of my mouth. "We've slept together twice now and I don't even know you're last name."

His face turned thoughtful, as he nodded, probably realizing he didn't know mine either. Sure, we shared small details of our lives with one another but our last names? Nope, not even mentioned. Never even crossed my mind. Habit, I guess.

"Let's rectify that, then."

"I don't usually do that with the guys I go out with," I jested. He laughed into his coffee mug before setting it down, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. "I also usually don't know their last names," I added, a bit more serious now. Dimitri's face sobered as well. He leaned forward on the counter, his unwavering gaze meeting my own as I spoke. "Because they're never that serious to me. I never really liked them or wanted them. I just thought you should know that, before we go any further with this, exchanging surnames and everything..."

Dimitri's face was indiscernible as he spoke. "That first morning..." he started.

"When things went from hot and heavy to cool and awkward in the blink of an eye?" I guessed. "What happened anyway? Did I do something?"

He was quick to shake his head. "No, of course not. It wasn't anything that you did." he trailed off, mumbling and cursing under his breath in what I think was Russian as he struggled for the right words. "I can't explain it."

I understood that. I couldn't explain everything I was feeling myself.

"I just knew that one moment we were fine and the next..."

"It felt like too much too soon," I finished for him. Relief flood his face that I understood. "I felt the same way. It was sudden and scary and confusing but it felt pretty damn good," I smiled to myself though Dimitri suddenly wore a similarly pleased expression on his face.

"At the time all those mornings ago, I didn't know what to do or how to react to everything I'd been feeling any more than you did which is how the morning turned so sour so fast," he elaborated. "But I'm maybe this time around, we get it right. We're having a good morning so far, right?"

I nodded in agreement, some of my uncertainties and nervousness ebbing away.

I dropped my fork into the remains of the long forgotten pie and brushed my hands onto my jeans before holding one out for Dimitri to shake as I introduced myself. "Rose Marie." As usual, when I introduced myself by my full name I winced. It wasn't my legal name but it was the one I preferred. That was too much of a heavy story to explain, especially when we were having a damn good morning already, so I shook off the feeling that I was deceiving this guy I liked already. Who knew if we'd even make it to a point where I'd explain the truth. The fact that we were even trying to see where this thing between us went was more than I'd hoped for or expected.

He took my hand immediately, engulfing it in his much larger one. "Dimitri Belikov," he returned, his unshaven cheeks smiling just as I was. I felt sort of silly, totally nervous I'd screw this up somehow, and completely goofy but it felt...right.

I polished off the remaining bits of the pie, scooping it into my mouth, enjoying it a lot more now that we'd hashed everything that had been on our minds. We didn't say exactly what it was we were doing but I was almost sure that it was more than just sex we might have been after here and that was okay with me.

Dimitri turned towards me, having finished washing our few dishes, with a little laugh.

"There's a little pie on your face," he told me, pointed to a spot on the side of his mouth, mirroring my own. "No not there...to the left a little..." he tried two more times before he just came around to my side of the counter.

"Riiiiight here," he said, running his thumb briskly along the side of my mouth. I should have been embarrassed - who knows how long I would've sat there talking to him with crumbs on my face - but I was too distracted by the languid motion of his thumb as his movements slowed and his other hand came to cup the other side of my face. As I was still sitting on the stool, he leaned down, using the soft nudge of his parted lips to open my own. He tasted sweet with a hint of caffeine as his tongue brushed along my own. It should be a sin for one kiss to feel so damn good. With the hold he had on my face, I couldn't reach up to wrap my arms around his neck. I clutched at his waist, doing the best I could to press myself closer against him. Even perched on this stool, he was still so tall. I thought about the last time we'd been in this kitchen, how he had tasted like coffee then too and slid into me on this very counter. I trembled the slightest bit. I wanted it again. I wanted him again. He pulled back slightly, or he tried to but I leaned forward with him, my lips following his. He used his hands, still holding my face, to pull me back.

"Are you cold?" he asked, having mistaken my trembling.

I shook my head. "Far from it," I answered without elaborating. It'd be too soon to say something like it was him making me tremble, wouldn't it?

I didn't take the time to find out. I stood up from the stool, it's metal legs scraping against the floor as I pushed myself up onto my toes in order to reach him.

"I am getting a sense of deja vu though," I told him as his lips deviated, his mouth finding purchase along my neck and shoulder.

"I had the same feeling," he mumbled against my heated skin.

"So what do you say? Should we have a repeat performance?"

"We had cramped sex in my car last night," he reminded me smiling as I nipped against his lips. "Are you trying to throw my back out?"

"At least you'll have a fun story to tell when your friends ask how you threw your back out," I suggested. "I mean come one, if you had an injury, wouldn't you want it to be a sex injury?"

He laughed against my lips and shook his head. "No not really. I can't do much to you if I have an injured back." No he had my attention. Dimitri did goooood things to me with the way his back was now. I didn't wanna chance it and risk losing that if he hurt himself trying to sex me up on the counter. "So how about this: I have that big comfortable bed that you've acquainted yourself with before."

"Yes we've met."

It did sound good after spending a chilly cramped night in his car.

"I get to be on top," I claimed, tugging at his shirt to pull us toward his bedroom. "But you owe me one in this kitchen, buddy. Deal?"

He was fighting back a smile, drawing me in with those bottomless eyes of his. Those hands, those magical exploring hands found their way down my arms, around my waist, circling to my backside. He gently squeezed as he started to answer but before he could utter a word, the distinct buzz of a cellphone across the counter interrupted. Both of us sighed making no move toward where our phones sat nor away from each other.

"What are the odds that it's important?"

I felt the rise and fall of his chest as he exhaled, glaring at the phone, whichever one was ringing. I didn't blame him. We did a lot of talking this morning for two people that started out wanting nothing more than distraction sex. I think we earned a little morning fun. Unfortunately, the real world was calling for one of us, interrupting this passion filled bubble we were in.

Dimitri seemed to be thinking along the same page as me. He patted me gently on the bottom, so that he could move to grab whichever phone was ringing. I regrettably stepped up away as he reached to flip over both. I doubted it was mine. Liss still wasn't really talking to me and Mia was on a weekend trip with some friends. He frowned down at his phone as he slid his finger along the screen to accept the call, handing me my own phone while he did so. While I wasn't expecting any calls I did have a couple of notifications. I moved away from Dimitri to give him some privacy while I scrolled through my phone.

A couple were just pics Mia sent from the musical festival she was at in Phoenix. There was even a text from Liss, checking in and asking me to send some sign that I was okay. I sent a simple rose emoji and then closed her text message screen without waiting to see if she saw it. The other was a message about an available shift at the diner this afternoon as well as a couple of temp and catering gigs in the next couple of weeks. There were even a few reminders of upcoming bills. I sighed. There was nothing like the real world calling to ruin a girl's libido.

Dimitri was still on the phone. From the tone of his voice, it was a serious conversation so I left him to it. I slid my phone into my pocket where it sat against the pendant still in there. I pulled the pendant out, rubbing it habitually between my fingers as I wandered around his house to look at the view once more. It was easy to forget that there was anyone else in the world with a view like this. It still took my breath away.

Janine would have killed for a view like this. Literally.

I don't know where the thought came from. I look down at the pendant in my hand, blaming it for the unwanted thoughts. It was hers. I should have buried it with her. They told me to bury it with her but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Even now I couldn't bring myself to let it go. It was like a cursed object, always finding it's way into my hand, carrying nothing but bed memories with it.

My first good feeling in who knows how long and I have to go and mess up by thinking about her. I didn't want to. I had made it my mission in life to force her from my mind as much as possible through any means necessary. For the most part, it worked. But then there were times like yesterday when the memories came unbidden.

I woke up with a start, my chest heaving so deeply I was scared I might pass out. It's happened before, me waking up so scared I've hyperventilated myself into a full on panic attack. Alcohol usually helps, knocking me into sweet oblivion but in an effort to do better, I was trying to go without it. Big mistake.

I scooted myself up against my headboard, rubbing away the sleep in my eyes until I could see the clock. It was only eight p.m. I was only asleep an hour or so after coming home from work but that was long enough to fall into a nightmare. They often came without warning. Luckily, the last wisps of the dream were already fading. I swung my feet over the side of the bed heading downstairs for some soda or coffee. Anything to keep me from falling asleep again.

"Hey," Mia calls, stopping me as I pass her room. Lissa is sitting perched on her bed, flipping through a magazine. She doesn't look up as I stand in the doorway. "You okay?" She looks me over as she folds a strapless blouse and tosses it into her suitcase. I wonder if I still look frazzled from the dream. I try to take a few quick breaths and collect myself as I lean against her doorway.

"Yeah I'm good. I just didn't realize how tired I was. Guess I'm just not used to working mid shifts at the diner," I explain. "You almost all packed?"

She nods enthusiastically, her short curls bouncing every which way, and I'm grateful for the subject change. "Bikini, heels, sunblock for the unforgiving Arizona sun, and my best push-up bras," she listed, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows. "I am ready!"

Liss and I both laugh at her exuberance. She looks up from her magazine for the first time and stops smiling almost immediately at me before looking down again.

"So when is this going to stop?" Mia asked as looking between us before she threw a handful of underwear into her bag.

Liss and I both looked up at Mia and then towards each other before turning away.

"Seriously, guys. I'm almost scared to leave you two here alone together." When neither of us said anything, she added, "Should I leave you two here alone? I'm not gonna come back to find out one of you is dead and the other's on the run, am I?"

Lissa continued flipping pages as she answered. "I'm gonna stay at Chris' and Rose likes to go out and not come home so everything will be fine."

I rolled my eyes so hard I was scared they'd roll right out of their sockets. "That's why you're not talking to me? Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

"You weren't talk to me either," she muttered, flipping the pages a little too hard. She closed her eyes and shut the magazine, setting it aside, as she took a deep breath and settled her emerald eyes on me. "I thought you were still mad that I brought up...Janine."

I instantly winced. Even hearing her name was painful. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Both Liss and Mia's eyes were on me, gouging my reaction. Mia's mouth hung slightly open. She knew the story and the rules. We didn't say that name around here. Not aloud anyway.

"You brought up J-j-Ja...her?" She asked, struggling to even say it in front of me. Even as the question came out, she glanced cautiously towards me, ensuring I wasn't having a breakdown or something. I was fine. A little shaken but fine.

She turned toward Liss who suddenly looked a little bit contrite. "L, how could you do that? You know better."

"I didn't mean to!" she argued. "I was pissed and worried and trying to figure out why she does stupid things like taking off without saying anything."

"Because I'm an adult and I shouldn't have to report where I am if I decide to stay out."

"No you shouldn't but you know what you used to do this crap when we were kids all the time. You'd take off for days and I always thought you were lying dead somewhere until you finally decided to show up again. So excuse me if I still freak out when you're out doing God knows what and you don't call. In case you've forgotten, we're the only family each of us has left."

No I haven't forgotten. I tried to. Every second of everyday I did everything in my power to forget that little fact but the memories and nightmares are always there. Yeah I used to take off a lot and sometimes I'd come back on my own or sometimes the police would bring me back or the hospital would call. I knew it messed Lissa up a lot when I left but I could never seem to make myself stay still for very long without screwing up. So I when I still took off as a teen, she made me promise to call home at least once to let her know I was still alive. It makes sense that she still expects me to call home when I'm away as an adult. It just pisses me off that I screwed up so much as a kid that she still can't trust me as an adult.

She has her arms folded across her chest. Her eyes are gentle and apologetic but there's a steely set to her jaw and her clenched fists that tells me she's not entirely apologetic for how she's been treating me.

"Look, I've been stressing about school and work and yeah maybe I'm being harsh and treating you like a kid but it's only because I care about you, Rose. I want you to stop acting so childish and grow up. I'm not always going to be around, you know. I can't spend my life worrying about you twenty-four seven when I should be living a life of my own."

That hurt. I knew in the back of my mind that she resented me a little for all the time she wasted worrying about me when she should have been worrying about being a regular kid but I didn't think she'd ever say it to my face. It was the truth though so I can't fault her for that, no matter the ache and anger that was suddenly settling into my chest.

"I get it but I'm going through stuff too, Liss. I just don't complain about it all the time. And no one asked you to -"

Her eyes significantly widened and she stomped toward me, her finger pointed toward me face.

"Don't you dare say no one asked me to look after you!" Her tone softened as she spoke next, relaxing her arms down by her sides. "We're family. Of course I'm going to be worried about you. I just wish..."

"That you didn't have to worry about me as much," I guessed. I could understand that. My stubborn side was refusing to admit as much aloud or saying anything stupid.

"Yeah," she answered. "I feel like a mother when I should just feel like your cousin and your friend. I don't want to stress about this any more."

She doesn't want to stress about me anymore.

"Then don't," I reasoned, putting up my hand to stop her from arguing with me. "I've actually been doing pretty good, Liss. No drinking..." Even though I really wanted to. It helped me sleep. "Other than work, I haven't been staying out late partying. Guys have been the last thing on my mind..." Except for one. "I've been doing pretty well. You say you stress worrying about me but you don't have to. I know you don't believe it, and I haven't given you much reason to, but I can take care of myself." As lonely as it is.

I left her speechless. Whether it was because she believed me or because she didn't no matter how much she wanted to, I wasn't sure. Mia cleared her throat. I'd almost forgotten she was in the room.

"Maybe I should stay-"

"No," we both interrupted her.

"No, we're...we're okay. You've been planning this trip, you should go and enjoy yourself. We'll be fine," Liss answered. It was far from the truth because we were far from okay but she was right. Mia didn't need to be a part of this mess. It was bad enough I wasted Lissa's time with my problems.

She looked between us, uncertain for a long time before she relented. "If you're both sure." Both of us nodded without hesitation. Mia needed to get away from the oppressive drama in this house. Her phone buzzed and she fired back a quick text as she slung her bags over her shoulder. "That's my ride." We followed her to the front door, giving her hugs. "If you're going to kill each other, do it before I get back so I don't have to be a witness."

Despite the mood, Liss and I both let out a strained laugh as she headed out the door.

"Oh before I go, I borrowed some of your jewelry, Rose and I didn't have time to put everything back."

I waved her off. "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

She smiled, shouting out her goodbyes as climbed into a car with her friends and they took off. Then it was just me and Liss. Oh boy.

"I'm gonna head to Christian's a little later on. Will you be okay here?"

No. I was never okay in this house alone but I couldn't admit as much. Not after my big speech about being fine on my own and able to take care of myself. I nodded. "Yeah I'm good."

We needed to talk more about this. We both knew it but we were also both exhausted so for now it was set aside. She went up to her room, presumably to get ready to go to Christian's and I went up to my room for a shower. That usually made me feel better. I scrubbed away the day's grit and grime and toweled myself dry. I flicked the lights on in my room, spotting the mess Mia was talking about earlier. I had a miniature armoire to hold all of my jewelry and every drawer was open, bracelets and necklaces spilling out. I moved to tuck everything back in when a small, familiar pendant caught my eye. I made a point of keeping the last drawer closed, to avoid seeing it though I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. The metal chain was long and cool to the touch, the small pendant of interwoven metal hanging freely come one end as I held it up. my hand shaking the entire time.

I went out of my way to hide this because I couldn't bring myself to look away from it for very long when I had it out. It was a symbol of everything I lost, everything that that started this mess that is my life now. I don't know how long I stood there, shaking and trembling, only in my towel but the sound of Lissa's car pulling out of the driveway startled me. I was alone.

I shook myself out of my trance and turned toward my closet. I pulled on a long sleeve and my shoes, unsure of where I was going at a time of night like this. I just knew I couldn't stay here. Not alone. Not now. Not when I couldn't sleep. Habitually, I dabbed on some makeup, unsure of where I'd end up going and if it was even necessary to put on. I grabbed my coat and keys and was out the door before I even knew where I wanted to go. Luck wasn't on my side, however, as my car wouldn't start no matter how hard I tried. For a moment, I considered heading back inside. This was crazy. I was running away but from what this time? Everything? Loneliness?

"I'm an adult. I'm an adult. I'm an adult," I chanted, trying to push myself to just make it back inside but I couldn't do it. Frustrated with myself, I tightened my fist at my sides, surprised by the pain I felt. I looked down at my hand, not realizing I still had the chain wrapped around my skin, the pendant tucked into my palm. I tucked my hands into my pockets, the pendant along with it, and started to walk.

Somewhere in my haze I boarded a bus, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. Memories and nonsense fluttering through my head. The driver called that it was the end of the line and I was forced to hop off. I was in the heart of the city's nightlife, clubs and bars filled to the brim with people and music. For once, the safety of disappearing into a crowd didn't appeal to me. Instead, I wandered toward the edge of the city, my head slightly aching, craving a cigarette, my stomach growling, reminding me I hadn't eaten since earlier in the day. Wasn't there an iHop or a Denny's around here somewhere? I pulled out my phone to search when I accidentally shoulder bumped someone. We both apologized as we continued on our separate ways. I looked up, trying to gather my surroundings, and gasped at the ramshackle building in front of me. It had been a long time since I'd been inside this church. The sight of it brought tears to my eyes. Suddenly I found myself sobbing and I couldn't bring myself to stop. The outside wasn't very kept but the inside was taken care of, the dimly lit interior warm, uncrowded, and inviting me to sit and cry where no one would could ever find me...

"Hey, I'm sorry that took so long," Dimitri apologizes as he enters the room startling me. The chain of the necklace nearly slips from my hands when I jump but he's quick to catch it. I expect him to hold it up, to examine it but he closes his fist around it and slips it into my palm.

The relief I feel is palpable as I close my hand around it and shove it into my pocket. It's suddenly a little too quiet in here and my throat is a little too tight. The mood from before is gone and for an instant I worry that our morning after is going to end like it did the first time. The worry must be evident on my face because Dimitri reaches for me then. Not my body but just my hands. He holds both of mine in both of his. Mine are so small in comparison. His grip is gentle as he tugs me forward just as he steps forward. He leans down slowly and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.

My skin tingles where his lips touched, the feeling lingering long after he pulls away. For an instant, my mind is completely wiped clean. What is this man doing to me? Whatever it is, I needed that.

"So..." I hedge, clearing my throat, unsure of what to do next and how to form words.

"So," he repeats.

"So, I'm guessing that phone-call was the real world calling?"

He looks regrettable as he nods. "I'm sorry I have to cut our morning short."

I shrug noncommittally trying to play off my disappointment but I understand. "It's okay. The real world has been texting me. I have to get to work in a couple of hours and take care of a few errands."

"Me too actually. My sabbatical might be ending early. The county hospital is short staffed and they're calling to see if I'm able to come in."

"Oh, that sucks," I comment. "Are you ready to go back to work so soon?"

"I wasn't planning on it but there are suddenly a lot of things in my life that I wasn't planning on."

Me? Was he talking about me? Because I wasn't planning on meeting a guy that I actually like either. It was nice, genuinely liking someone and being liked back. It was also nice knowing that he was as flummoxed and maybe as excited about whatever this was between us as I was.

"Same."

His lips tilted up in a smirk at my short response and suddenly we were just standing there smiling at each other like idiots.

"So what happens now?" I ask, breaking the trance.

It was a beat before he answered, as though he was as uncertain but willing as I was.

"I don't know but I'm sure we'll figure it out."

A/N: Sorry for the wait! You're reviews/favorites/follows keep me going. I actually meant for there to only be four chapters for January but I couldn't seem to wrap it up in Dimitri's POV. Anyways, hope you guys are doing well! :)