Rose

"You look nice," Lissa complimented from my doorway. "Going out?"

"Mmmhmm," I vaguely answered without looking away from the mirror.

I focused on putting the finishing touches of my makeup on, unable to look at her for too long. Our conflicting schedules made it easy for me to avoid her for the last few days. I'd been hoping to leave from here before she woke up but apparently my luck ran out. I knew I couldn't avoid her forever but I hadn't yet worked out what I should say. I wasn't even sure what I should say. I ran away like the immature child she had always accused me of being and now I was too much of a coward to face her.

She perched on the edge of my bed and sighed. "Rose, we have to talk about this."

"I know."

She laughed mirthlessly. "Do you? 'Cause you've been avoiding me for the last few days. Don't think I haven't noticed. Please, Rose just talk to me."

I wanted to but I didn't know where to start. Talking without starting some sort of argument between us wasn't something I was particularly good at. She was one of the only two real friends I had, and though we didn't always tell each other everything, we use to at least talk.

I set down my mascara, knowing that if I put on anymore, I'd end up looking like a raccoon for my date with Dimitri.

I turned to face my cousin for the first time in a while. She looked as exhausted as I'd been feeling lately. IT didn't occur to me that everything going on between us was weighing heavily on her too. In my mind, I figured she didn't really care anymore whether we talked. At least she'd finally be getting rid of me weighing her down and holding her back from ever being happy but from the worn look on her face I was obviously wrong. Subconsciously I knew Lissa loved me but it was hard to reconcile that with everything that had been said between us lately. It was time to get everything out in the open but I didn't know where to start. Luckily, Lissa did.

"I've said a lot of things lately without really thinking," she started. "Bringing up...Janine and what I said about you stressing me out. I shouldn't have said any of it. I didn't mean any of it...And I don't think you're a burden."

I tried, unsuccessfully, to not react to the word.

"How did you know...?"

"Mia told me the other night, when you took off. And she's been giving me an earful ever since," she laughed lightly. I smiled at tiny Mia defending me to Liss. It was a nice little reminder that I had someone on my side even when it felt like I didn't sometimes. "All the things I've said about worrying about you and the house, I really didn't mean it. It came all wrong and I was just stressed but only because I worry."

"About what?"

She exhaled through her nostrils as she combed her hands through her hair. "Everything. Now that I'm about to graduate and start a new job and...moving in with Christian," she added slowly as though it might set me off. She waited a beat, testing my reaction before continuing. "I feel like I don't have enough time to look after you-"

"Liss-"

"I know, I know, you don't need looking after. You're a grown woman but you get why I still worry, don't you? You still runaway when things get hard or it's something you don't want to face. You still take off without calling so at least I know you're alright. It wasn't too long ago when you used to take off for days on end without calling and I thought you were hurt or dead."

All the guilt from all the times I used to runaway, leave and disappear with some guy or just go off on my own without calling home, slams into me. I only started cleaning up my act when Lissa got into college and I realized she'd need my help if she was going to finish. I took every temp job I could get so that she wouldn't have to stress as much and struggle. She told me she wanted a better life for herself, to leave her tragic childhood behind and start anew. I wanted the same things for her so I used that as my incentive to be better. I loved my cousin and didn't want to drag her down a path of failure with me.

"And then you took off on New Years Eve and that just brought everything back and I got scared all over again."

"I know and I'm sorry. I really am," I apologized, hoping she could hear how much I meant it. "But I am trying to be better, Liss. I keep myself busy with work, I don't go out nearly as much as I used to, I've mostly stopped smoking, I take care of the bills...You have to at least give me credit for some of that."

She nodded. "I do. I know I don't say it enough but I do appreciate everything you've done for me."

"And I appreciate you trying to look after me," I reply, feeling awkward about all this emotional crap but also feeling a little better about getting it all out into the open.

She shrugs as though what she says next should be obvious to me. "We're family and I love you. Of course I'm going to look out for you."

That little reminder squeezes my heart. We're the only real family each of us has left. If we don't stick together, there'll be nothing left. "I love you too, L and I think I needed to hear that, that you still care about me even after everything I've ever put you through. But I also need you to trust me."

"I know," she nods solemnly.

"I'm going to mess up and make mistakes but I am trying."

"I know," she repeats. "And I'm going to start trying too, in trusting you. It's just hard for me because I keep thinking about mom and Janine and Celeste. I don't want us to end up like them. The whole New Years Eve thing, why I was so mad... it was because I kept thinking you didn't really change and maybe you were never really going to clean up your act. I kept thinking I'll end up like mom or Celeste, taking care of you for the rest of me life to keep you from getting hurt or dying without really living one of my own."

Wow. So she thought about our messed up family as much as I did. She sure as hell hid it a lot better than I did.

"I think about that too," I admit. "I don't want to be like them either." I don't want us fighting or resenting each other the way they did. They argued almost every day of their lives and look how they all turned out. Two of them dead and the other an old bitter drunk. I wanted better for me and Liss.

"So we're in agreement then? No more avoiding each other, no more resentment. We trust and talk to each other?"

"I feel like we should be in couples therapy or something," I joked, making her genuinely smile for the first time. "Sounds good to me."

"Good," she grinned, looking more relaxed and relieved than when she first came in here. For a moment, she looked like the young, blonde haired, green eyed beauty she'd been before our lives went to hell. "So about the house..."

I took a breath. This was a little harder for me but then I thought about my conversation with Dimitri, his assurances that I wouldn't be alone and that I'd be alright on my own running through my head.

"We should've sold it a long time ago," I finally say.

She smiles, relieved. The thought of being stuck with this house because I might not want to let it go must've been weighing on her mind for a while. After all, it was the only thing keeping her from really moving on with all the changes in her life. Mia and I wouldn't have been able to keep it without her but she also wouldn't have abandoned me with the house if I said I didn't want to let it go. And moving anyone else in as a replacement would have felt wrong. This house was the last remnant of our family - and I used that term loosely. It was either we all agree to leave it behind and move on or or nothing.

"Fresh start, right?"

"Right," she agreed, eyeing my hands where I was fidgeting with the necklace. Her eyes widened when she realized it used to be my mother's. "Is that..."

"Yeah. I've been wearing it a lot lately," I admitted awkwardly, not really wanting to get into it but remembering our resolve to not hold anything back from each other. If anyone understood, it was Liss. "I think you were right."

"About what?"

My chest ached at the thought of even bringing her up the way it always did. It still hurt from when Liss had said her name earlier.

"The way I act, the running away from...everything, it's because of...her," I swallowed, hating how much I wasn't able to even say her name after all these years.

"That's understandable. You never really dealt with...everything that happened. Not in a healthy way, anyway."

I thought about all the nightmares over the years, the running away, the physical discomfort I felt even hearing my mother's name, my inability to go without wearing her necklace and touching it every so often to make sure it was still there...

"Yeah I've been starting to realize that but what do I do about it?"

"Well, we can start with a fresh start at a new place and then we'll figure everything else out from there. Together," she added, pointedly. That made me feel better, despite the ache still resting in my chest at the memories. "I'd ask if you want to start looking into realtors today but from the way you're dressed, I'm guessing you have better plans."

I could feel my face flush at the reminder than today was my date with Dimitri. On Valentine's of all days.

"I do..." I said, unsure how I should I explain more. I wanted to tell her about Dimitri but I also like the idea of keeping him to myself for a while longer while we tried to figure out whatever the hell it was that we were doing together. "I have a date," I finally admitted.

Lissa's perfectly shaped brows lifted comically high, nearly disappearing into her hairline in surprise. Her mouth gaped like a fish, opening and closing a few times in speechlessness as she tried to recover.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back toward my mirror and fussed with my hair. "Come on, Liss, it hasn't been that long since I've been on a date."

"Ummm I don't think I've ever heard you say that you were going on a date. I didn't think you knew the meaning of the word," she laughed at my reflected scowl in the mirror. "And on Valentine's Da. You hate Valentine's Day," she reminded me.

"Just a coincidence. It's the one day we both have off," I defended.

"Is it someone I know?"

I wasn't sure how to explain about Dimitri and if I even wanted to just yet but I also didn't want any secrets between Lissa and I anymore so I kept my answer simple. "It's the guy I met on New Year's Eve."

"From the bar?" I nodded, unable to meet her gaze in the mirror out of fear there'd be disappointment there. I fidgeted and fussed with my hair again before I felt Lissa move behind me. She untied the loose braid I had tied it into and started brush through it as she helped me. "You must really like him."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well for one thing you used the word 'date' and for another, I've never seen you nervous about a guy before."

"I'm not..." I started to deny but the more I thought about it, the quicker I realized she was right. At the reminder of my date and Dimitri, my heart was racing, I couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs, and I couldn't stop adjusting some part of my outfit. "Okay maybe a little," I mumbled sheepishly. Lissa laughed as she tied two sides of my hair together, twisting them into one long braid at the back. I didn't know why I was nervous at first. I've been seeing guys since before I could even drive. I was the opposite of inexperienced but then I realized that wasn't entirely true. I was inexperienced in going out with a guy I genuinely liked. Dimitri was different for me and I wanted this go well because I didn't just want a few nights with him and then that was it. I wanted more.

"I thought it was just one night and just sex?" she asked, reminding me of the conversation we'd had the morning after my first night with Dimitri.

"It was but I don't know. We ran into each other one night-"

"Another bar?"

"Church, actually," I replied smugly, relishing a little at the surprise on her face.

"Church?"

"It was after you and I had that argument, the night Mia left on her trip," I explained. "I went out downtown and ended up at that church downtown." I knew without having to explain that she knew which one. "Dimitri happened to be there too and that's when we started...I don't know...hanging out I guess."

"Dimitri, huh? That's a sexy name. Is he cute?" she asked putting the finishing touches on my hair.

Cute wasn't a word I'd use to describe Dimitri. Gorgeous beyond belief seemed closer to the truth.

"More handsome than cute," I finally answered. It seemed more appropriate for a man like Dimitri.

"He's older, isn't he?" she asked, trying to remember. A small part of me was bothered by all the prying questions and the thought that her protectiveness was kicking in but I reminded myself that she was likely just curious after I shut her out for so long. I was finally opening up a bit - telling her about Dimitri at all was a huge step for me - while she was trying to get us back to the way we used to share and talk about guys.

"A little," I mutter.

"What's your definition of 'a little'?" she laughed. "Was he graduating college while you were graduating kindergarten?"

"No, not that much older."

She raised a brow when I didn't say anymore.

"Ten years," I finally said.

She nodded but otherwise didn't react. We examined her handiwork in the mirror. My hair looked good, much better than when I had done it. I stood up and we examined my outfit together. Dimitri had suggested I dress warm and comfortably so I was wearing the only pair of sneakers that matched the maroon overcoat I had only ever worn once, jeans, and a dark sweater. Liss handed me a pair of small hoop earrings from the box on my dresser and then stepped back to take in my entire appearance.

"You look lovely."

"Thank you," I said, breathing out in relief. This should be like any other time Dimitri and I were together but the weight of the fact that today was actually a date was freaking me out a little.

"It's kind of early for a date, isn't it?" she asked looking at the clock on my bedside table.

"He said he had something planned for the entire day since he has work the entire week next week."

"That's sweet. So he's a good guy?"

"Yeah he's good," I said simply.

I could tell she wanted to press for more on Dimitri but she reined herself in and I appreciated that. She was trusting me, trusting my judgement, and that said a lot. I grabbed my phone and my keys, tossing them into my purse as I readied to go. Lissa followed me out.

"He's not picking you up?"

"No, he ended up working a fourteen hour shift at the hospital yesterday so the only way I agreed to even keep our date for today was if he slept in a little."

"Hospital?"

I hesitated, wanting to kick myself. I hadn't wanted to reveal so much just yet. "Yeah, he's a doctor at County General," I answered, glancing over my shoulder to gauge Lissa's reaction.

I laughed at the surprised look on her face. "You look stunned."

Her mouth flapped open and closed a few times as she tried to figure out an appropriate response. "I am," she admitted. I couldn't blame her. Her delinquent cousin dating a doctor? No way. "Lemme get this straight: you met him at a bar and then again at a church and he's a doctor and a good guy who somehow convinced you to go out on Valentine's Day?" she listed.

"Yup. That's pretty much it," I confirmed, not the least bit offended by the shock in her voice.

"Cool," she finally nodded with a smile. "Any idea where he's taking you?" she asked as we walked down the stairs.

"No, he wanted to surprise me or something," I answer as though it's not a big deal that a guy is going to these lengths for a day with me.

"That's adorable."

I shrugged but the flush to my cheeks gave away my feigned nonchalance. She smiled knowingly.

"Chris have anything planned for you?" I asked in attempt to move the spotlight off me.

"Supposedly but honestly I think he forgot until I texted him this morning." We both laughed but she didn't seem too bothered since it was obvious how much Christian loved her. He forgot the little things, but he more than made up for it with grand gestures - like moving in together. "Mia was thinking about going to a Valentine's Day singles pub crawl with some of her coworkers. She was gonna ask if you wanted to go with so I'm guessing she doesn't know about this Dimitri guy either."

I felt bad, suddenly, for keeping myself distant from my two closest friends. Neither of them knew what was going on in my life but it was my own fault. That was going to change.

"No but I'll tell her."

"We'll swap stories at the next mandatory girl's night. She says we owe her one."

"I figured," I laughed as we reached the door. Lissa suddenly stopped me, reeling me into a surprising hug. "I've really missed you, Ro."

"I've missed you too, L," I returned, squeezing her back before I left. She stood in the doorway and waved as I drove off. I felt unencumbered leaving the house for the first time in a long time. I wasn't dreading coming back and having to actively avoid my cousin and roommate. It was exhausting keeping myself at a distance and not facing my problems head on. That had to change. I had to change. I wanted to change.

I was glad Lissa and I had at least talked. We were both making an effort to fix things between us and keep from repeating the mistakes the older women in our family had made. Everything wasn't magically fixed between us with the one conversation but it was a start.

A huge bouquet of yellow flowers greeted me when Dimitri opened his front door.

"What happened to no Valentine's day cheesiness?" I asked as I reached out to part the flowers to find Dimitri's face behind them. "You promised."

He lowered the plant enough to lean forward and kiss me on the cheek. "I couldn't resist," he admitted as we both looked down at the large ceramic pot in his hand holding over a dozen of yellow bulbs with long green stems that whitened at the bottom. The petals were soft with a sweet, gentle aroma wafting off of them. "I really wasn't going to buy you flowers but a patient at the hospital had some in her room. They're daffodils and they mean rebirth, new beginnings and fresh starts."

"That seems to be the theme for this week," I said dryly. He looked at me questioningly. "I'll tell you later. These are beautiful."

"Beautiful enough to give me a pass for breaking my promise?" he asked hopefully. With the boyish, almost sheepish furrow to his brows, I couldn't be annoyed by the gesture. It was sweet and it helped that they were gorgeous.

"Yeah," I admitted. I especially liked the significant meaning and the fact that Dimitri couldn't resist buying them for me. "They're gorgeous but this is it right? You don't have a life size teddy bear waiting for me somewhere, do you?"

"The one I wanted wouldn't fit in my car," he said so straight-faced I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "Let me put this in your car and then we can go."

"And where exactly are we going?" I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. I opened the hatchback as he slid the large planter carefully inside.

"Up the coast a bit," was all he said. "I think you'll like it."

"You sound worried I won't."

"A little," he admitted after a beat as he held the passenger door of his car open for me. "It's been a while since I've planned a date."

I stretched up on my toes to kiss him before climbing in. "As long as there's food involved somewhere, I'll love it whatever it is because it is our first official date." He seemed to relax a bit, his usual confidence returning at my assurance. It said a lot that he was nervous too, that this date meant something to him as much as it meant to me. "Unless it's some kind of Valentine's Day parade or something. Then I'm gonna bail."

He graced me with one of his heart stopping smiles as he chuckled. "That's fair."

The drive up the coast was overcast since it was still early morning there was a nice scenic view nonetheless. Dimitri drove us into the the mountains, through the canyons. The higher up we drove, the wider the view of the city below. The clouds blanketing the city and the ocean made the sight almost otherworldly. Conversation during the hour long drive was lighthearted and fun as we joked about our contrasting tastes in music, battling over the playlist on his phone.

"Video Killed the Radio Star? Seriously?" He sang along so well, verbatim, in his deep, lightly accented voice that it was funny. I had a stitch in my side from laughing so hard by the time the song was over. "Why do you know the words?" I asked as the next song started.

"How do you not know the words?" he countered.

"I think that song was a little before my time."

"It was before my time too but I still know the words," he laughed. "It used to play at the same time every morning before school when I was a kid."

"I remember waking up to Who Let The Dog's Out every morning. It used to get me pumped before going to kindergarten every day." I scrolled through his playlist and grinned when I found one of my favorite songs. "I love this song!" I grinned as I hit play on the a soft acoustic rock song.

"This is a good one," he agreed. He had both hands on the wheel to maneuver through the windy terrain but once we were on a straight path he let go with one hand, winding our fingers together over the console. I was easygoing and free in that moment, driving along the coast, through the mountainside, with a cute guy, just joking and having fun. Liss and I were getting on good terms again. I didn't have to work today or tomorrow. Things were good.

We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence, humming along to the music, with Dimitri occasionally pointing out hiking trails to me. I knew he liked to run in the mornings and some times in the evening if he wasn't too tired but that he also wanted to get back into hiking again once he had the time. I wasn't much of a hiker. In fact I strayed as far away from physical activities as I could but if it meant watching a sweaty, muscly Dimitri from behind while I tried to keep, then I might be willing to change my routine a bit.

As the trees gave way to wide lush green valleys on either side of the road, traffic started to slow. There were more people out now, cars parked on the side of the road and up ahead, a large crowd roaming through what looked like the main street of this small mountain town, from stall to stall.

"Is this a farmer's market?"

"Yeah. They have it every Saturday but since today is Valentine's Day they have a few extra activities planned for tourist which I thought might be fun," he explained, glancing over at me to gauge my reaction. Honestly it wasn't what I expected but it was adorable and that wasn't a word I normally used so often. The town was practically hidden in the mountains so it wasn't overcrowded or anything. There was a nice steady flow of foot traffic, the atmosphere serene and jovial as everyone took in the sights.

"This is beautiful," I assured him when I realized he was still waiting for my reaction. "Come on, let's go!"

He parked in one of the makeshift lots and came around to open my door. I shivered as the cool mountain air hit me.

"It's a little colder up here. I should have told you to bring a hat." He circled around to his trunk, rummaging in the back until he finally found what he was looking for, a knit black beaning hat that he slid over my head, tucking it over my ears. I felt immediately warmer, especially when he cupped my face in his hands, brushing my cool cheeks with his thumbs to warm them up. I tilted my face up to give him a thank you kiss. His lips were warm against my own as I melted against him. We both pulled away before things became too heated. He locked the car doors and tucked our clasped hands into the pocket of his coat as we joined the crowd ambling along the sidewalks. There was soft indie-pop playing in speakers along the walk, barely hear above the laughter and chatter of the patrons and vendors. We passed a small park, trinket shops and a bakery boasting about their doughnuts being the best along the coast.

"We're definitely stopping there on the way back," I told him as the sweet smell of doughy goodness hit my nose.

"We can go anywhere you want," he assured me. And we did. We went nearly everywhere the small town had to offer for tourists. At one point, after visiting all of the food and trinket stands, we even stopped inside the town library just to warm up a bit and look inside.

"The best smell in the world," Dimitri told me as he led us over to the minuscule western section.

"Asbestos?"

He suppressed a smile as he chose a book off the shelf. "Books, worn pages. Here smell," he offered, holding it out to me. I didn't smell anything but must and told him so. "Exactly. I love the smell of old books."

"Oh God, how could I have not known I was dating a book nerd?" I groaned dramatically. "Who apparently likes westerns?" I noted, as he smiled at the spines of some of the books on the shelf.

"Yup," he confirmed shamelessly, grinning at my dramatics.

"Next you'll tell me you've seen every John Wayne film know to man."

"Eastwood too."

"It's just getting worse," I muttered, leaning against his shoulder to read the summary of the book in his hands. "Why westerns? I mean, no offense but a Russian cowboy?"

"Exactly," he shrugged. "As a kid, my mom used to joke I'd be the first. I had a stetson and one of those horses on a stick and everything."

"Okay, that's cute," I conceded, imagining a little Dimitri trotting around like a mini cowboy.

"Have you ever even seen a western?"

I nodded. "Yeah, when I fall asleep in front of the TV, right before I turn it off."

I smiled as he laughed again. It was the most I'd ever seen him laugh when we were together. I think he got a kick out of my dry humor since it matched his own so well. His smile was the type of thing that should be bottled and sold on the market, it was so gorgeous. It lit up his entire face, even those dark eyes of his shined a little brighter.

"We'll have to watch one together so I can show you how good they are," he suggested. My mind was immediately filled with images of Dimitri and I curled together on a couch, making out while a western played in the background. I could deal with that. Plus it might get him to break this no sex thing.

"Netflix and chill? Deal."

"Deal," he agreed, chuckling at my suggestion. We perused the shelves for a while longer while he pointed out a few of his favorites and how he wanted to start collecting some of them now that he wasn't travelling for work anymore.

"So, you'll stay here then? I mean, you're not going to suddenly take off to Africa or somewhere then?" I asked, realizing I hadn't thought about the prospect of him leaving until now. He held the door open for me as we walked out, back out into the cool air. I tried not to sound too concerned about it but I don't think I was fooling anyone.

"My work contract with the hospital is only for the year."

"A lot can happen in a year," I murmured. We'd only been seeing each other for almost two months. Anything could happen in the next few months.

"True," he conceded. "But..." he trailed off, taking my hand again. "I've been thinking of sticking around for longer." My heart thudded in my chest. For me, for us, for whatever relationship we were trying to give a chance, he was thinking of staying even a year or so from now. "I really like you, Rose," he added when I still hadn't responded with anything other than a smile I was doing my best to suppress from breaking out into a manic grin. He raised our clasped hands to his lips, kissing the back of mine.

"I really like you too," I returned.

We stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. There was hardly anyone around this part of the town so we weren't blocking anyone's way. We stepped forward at the same time, barely a width of space left between us. My fingers locked into his hair and his into mine as we kissed. It was sweet and gentle, my nose brushing against his. The moment I parted my lips to let him in, his tongue slipping inside, it quickly built into something more. We held onto each other, our mouths mashing together until neither of us could breathe. He cradled my face in his hands when we pulled apart.

"You're cheeks are cold. Let's warm you up."

"I thought that's what we were doing."

He smiled, shaking his head as he held my hand again. We walked closely together, touching in every way we could as we made our to one of the eateries close by. We ended up at a small cafe at the end of the block, tucked between two buildings. It was quaint and hidden enough that most people walked right by it. Even though there was a seat across from each other, we sat side by side at a small table in the corner.

"We probably look ridiculous," I said after the waitress who had taken our order left. She'd been smiling at us the entire time.

"Probably," Dimitri agreed, wrapping his free arm around the back of my chair. He straightened out a few wily strands of my hair after I took the beanie cap off. "But I haven't seen you in almost-"

"An entire day," I interrupted dryly. "How did you survive?"

He laughed. "It was a struggle."

I rolled my eyes but I knew what he meant. Even though we'd spoken on the phone, we hadn't been able to see each other the day before because of how busy he'd been at the hospital. I missed him which seemed crazy when I knew I'd be seeing him today. He told me about some of his cases at the hospital and how he'd been about ready to tear his hair out at stupidity of some of the people who came in.

"I know you said you've always wanted to help people but do you like being a doctor? I mean, do you enjoy what you do?"

"Most of the time," he finally answered after thinking for a moment. "There's that sense of satisfaction knowing I helped someone feel better, even if it's something as small as a band-aid."

"You feel like you made a difference," I surmised.

"Yeah, most of the time. It's the corporate side of medical practice that brings me down, being stuck in one place."

"I'm starting to think you have a little bit of wanderlust in you, unable to stay one spot for too long."

"I guess I have always been a little restless," he said softly, as though he was only just now realizing it.

"Born in Russia, came here as a teen, and then what?" I asked, trying to figure out what Dimitri's life had been like so far.

He had to think back a moment as he mapped out his travel history for me. "Russia, to here, to California for my undergrad, studied abroad in Latin America, New York for medical school, then back here, and then Doctors without Borders mostly in the middle east," he listed. A pensive look settled on his face as though he hadn't realized how many places he'd traveled to.

"Wow," I gasped. "I don't even have a passport."

"If you did, where would you go?"

"Anywhere but here," I answered almost too quickly. "I used to dream of leaving this town. Anywhere had to be better than here but now..." I trailed off, gazing at Dimitri. He smiled softly back at me. "Now it's not so bad..." He gently squeezed my hand. He understood. There was a lot I we both seemed to be running from - family related mostly - but maybe now was our chance to settle down and try to figure everything out. "I've always wanted to go somewhere with white sandy beaches and crystal blue water I can see my feet in. Oh! and I want to see New York at night and Christ the Redeemer in Brazil and all of the tallest statues in the world and... I guess there are a lot of places. All that running away I did as a kid and I never got very far."

"You're older now and you're trying to face the difficulties in your life head on. You'll get there, to all of them someday. I know you will." He said it with such certainty that I immediately believed him. I'd make it to all of those places. I just had to clean up my life around here for a while and then I'd go wherever I wanted to.

"Yeah I will," I agreed. "As much as I used to fantasize about leaving, it used to scare me at the same time."

"Leaving behind what's familiar to you?"

"Yeah, isn't that terrifying."

"A little but it helped to remember that I had a home and family here. Even if we don't get along."

"All that traveling you did, you always come back here," I pointed out. I wondered why. There wasn't much to see around here. Sure we had tourist spots like this one, beautiful coastal views, and a bustling nightlife but so did a million other cities.

"Most of my family that isn't in Russia lives around here," he explained, reminding me he had family around here. He's mentioned that he's not close to them but had dinner plans with them sometime this upcoming weekend. The waitress return then with two hot chocolates. It was more bitter than sweet but still hit the spot. Dimitri grimaced and set his down.

"It's not that bad," I laughed at the expression on his face.

"I'm just used to it being sweeter."

"Really, this bitterness is what bothers you? This isn't as bad as your coffee," I reminded him.

"Touche," he smiled as he poured a few packets of sugar into both of our cups and stirred. "Normally, the secret is to use two packets instead of one but this should fix it."

I tested it and nodded. "Yeah, much better. You make crappy coffee but your hot chocolate skills are top notch."

"You have my mother to thank for that."

Today was the most he'd ever mentioned his mother. I wondered if it was because he was supposed to see her next weekend. He mentioned he wasn't close to his family and I figured he probably didn't see them much. I wondered if he was nervous. We had our unspoken agreement about unnecessarily bringing up family and today was a good day for both of us so far. I didn't want to ruin it but my curiosity got the better of me.

"You're supposed to have dinner with them soon, right?"

"Yeah, this upcoming weekend," he sighed. "Tasha sent me a text, threatening to kidnap me if I don't go," he muttered, sounding is if he really didn't want to go. He'd mentioned Tasha to me a few times before, an old friend of his that had always been a friend to the family.

"From what you've told me about her, I think she means it," I laughed, trying to imagine any woman wrangling all two hundred plus pounds of six foot seven Dimitri into the back of a trunk, kidnapping him.

"Me too," he agreed. "I've been putting it off too long. I have to go."

"Not if you're not ready."

He snorted to himself. "With that logic, I'll never go." He had a point. Honestly, I would have put off talking to Liss for as long as possible if she hadn't come to me first.

"It'll be hard but at least you're going," I pointed out. "Fresh start and all that, right? I was freaking out about everything going on with Liss but we finally talked this morning and we're kind of okay now."

He turned to completely face me, a proud smile spreading on his face. "You two talked? How'd it go?" He knew I'd been going out of my way to avoid Liss as much as I could lately.

"It went...better than I expected. Although, admittedly we probably wouldn't have talked if she hadn't come to me first." I gave him the highlights of our conversation, summarizing that we decided to sell the house and Mia and I would probably move in together. "I'm happy we talked. It's a relief we talked but I'm still...I guess it's nervous. This is a lot of change."

"But it's good change," he filled in.

"Yeah, definitely good. I'm a little sad though. It's been me and Liss - and then me, Liss and Mia - for the last few years. I've been keeping myself busy with work and trying to keep us alive and now..."

"Now you don't know what you're going to do?" he guessed correctly. "You don't have to figure it out now. You have time and you'll have time to just worry about yourself and not everyone else."

"That's true. It's gonna take a while to wrap my mind around that, I guess. I keep trying to picture it, you know? My life where it isn't just dead end jobs I tolerate. Will I downsize to just one job? What if I need all of my jobs because apartments are too expensive? Will I be stuck doing lame-ass temp job forever?"

Dimitri placed his hand on top of mine to stop me from spiraling. I hadn't realized how much my worries had started building up until they burst forth like a broken dam. Not knowing what my life was going to be like in a couple of months was scaring the shit out of me.

"Rose, you're going to be fine. Just remember you don't have to do any of this alone. I'm here for you." His reassurance soothed my fears. I had to remember that I wasn't alone. Even Lissa had mentioned it this morning that we were going to do this together. I just had to take it one step at a time. Grateful that we were sitting on the same side, it made it that much easier to lean in and kiss him. A simple peck on the lips but it still warmed me from the inside out.

The waitress returned with our food. We split a french onion dip sandwich and a few bits of Dimitri's salad.

"I bet if you weren't a doctor, you'd have something more fun than a salad." I teased, plucking a piece of chicken from his plate. "Or have you always been a fitness nut?"

"Always a fitness nut. Even as a kid."

"Ugh, you were that kid that liked the mile runs in gym class, weren't you?"'

Ha laughed before answering. "I was the one that asked for more of them."

"I'm starting to get the feeling you and I wouldn't have run in the same circles if we went to high school together. I think I can count on one hand the amount of days I spent in school," I joked. But honestly I spent more time out of school than in it. "But you? The westerns, the reading, the fitness, the travelling...It's a good thing we're attracted to each other."

"Are you saying, if our sexual chemistry wasn't so good, we wouldn't even be dating?" he asked in a low voice.

"Maybe. I mean, it's not like we went home together that first night because we had so much in common," I reminded him.

"Fair point."

"I do like you though," I assured him. "Even without the sex. I'm just saying it helps." I ran my hand along his leg, stopping right before the juncture of his thigh and giving a tight squeeze. He jumped, bumping into the table, making the dishes clatter and clink. He put his hand on top of mine to stop me from going any further. I pressed a kiss just beneath his jaw and it was a thrill in and of itself to feel his body react to my touch.

"You're really trying to tempt me from the no sex thing, aren't you?"

"Sex on our first date? Dimitri, I'm shocked. I would never," I said, feigning dismay as though my hand still wasn't on his thigh. "But I'd make an exception for you."

From the lust filled way his eyes darkened, he wanted to as much as I did. I felt a little bad for trying to entice him but if it was something we both wanted, why not give in? We'd spent a majority of the day, plus our lunch and late dinners getting to know each other. I'd say we know each other more than I normally required to sleep with a guy.

"You're definitely not playing fair," he groaned low in his throat.

"I never said I would. The deal was, as long as you keep your hands to yourself, I'd practice restraint but you've been touching me all day," I reminded him.

"That's true." I started to grin, wanting to cheer that I'd won him over and maybe we'd head back to the car to have sex but Dimitri quickly put a stop to that. "In that case, no more touching. I won't even hold your hand since it is our first date and all."

I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor as he turned my tactic against me. He set my hand on the table with a gentle pat and then pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"Starting now."

A/N: Thank you for the reviews/follows/views! I'm glad I haven't lost too many of you since my last update. Again, apologies for grammar/spelling. The rest of their date continues in Dimitri's POV. Thoughts on their date so far? Too much dialogue not enough description?Think he'll eventually give in to Rose?