AN: So, I need to be honest here. I have never been a Twilight fan, like ever. I read all the books growing up, watched the movies but couldn't really get into the hype. I suppose I never really liked Edward's character and how he limited Bella's potential to grow as a young woman while claiming to be trying to let her do just that. Their relationship was quite frankly, toxic.

Fast-forward some 10 years and I rewatched the movies with my partner - I randomly had a very intricate dream of Bella and Carlisle together a few days after we finished watching them all. I pretty much NEVER dream let alone vividly (or if I do, I never remember that I could have even been dreaming, I guess). The story that played out was just amazing and I found the idea of the pairing so intriguing. It just made so much sense in my head. I had never really crushed on Carlisle before then either *shrug* Oh well. Now I'm obsessed with him and I get to share.

I've been hooked (somewhat ridiculously) on Bellisle ever since. I have thirsted for more and more of this pairing, and although there have been some absolutely fantastic stories I have read, I still feel that I need to fill the void that is egging me to write my own. So, this story is based on that very dream - it would be a sin not to share it with you all. It will be from mainly both Bella and Carlisle's POV, but also Edward's later on. I will put the POV next to each Chapter's name.

This won't be a short story. I don't have a chapter estimate yet but the plot becomes pretty intricate and long. My chapters may be fairly short to keep the pace going and scenes separate, but I do not wish to rush the story at all.

Don't worry, you'll learn fairly quickly how this story diverges from canon. I've tried to kept details of the universe otherwise the same, but fill free to correct me if I get anything wrong.

All will be revealed in time. Enjoy!

Songs at the start of each chapter have been an inspiration for my writing - I've tried to keep each one relevant to the chapter. Feel free to go listen :)

* I do not own Twilight or the characters within this story, nor the songs.

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"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you"

Numb - Linkin Park (Kyle Olthoff, Taye Cover)

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Bella ✦ Humble Beginnings ✦ Amnesia

Five long years had passed since I graduated from high school and I had left my home in Forks. I had missed Charlie of course, but I couldn't really say that I missed the saddening, cloud-covered town. My time in Forks was hazy to me. The days, weeks and months had blended together. Living there had seemed to have been nothing but monotonous, lonely and left me feeling hollow. It felt like I didn't even know who I was anymore; in some ways, I still felt that way.

In the last few months before my departure, everyone had seemed to distance themselves from me. My closest friend, Jacob, had all of a sudden fought with me and refused to see me. He didn't give me a rhyme or reason. He just shut me out.

Jessica, Angela, and Mike evaded me in the cafeteria, leaving me to my lonesome.

It seemed strange, really – whenever I had tried to reach out, to see what had changed, no one would explain why. They would look at me with pity, shake their head, and turn away. I had never felt more alone.

I had not hesitated to leave. Very little held me to the fragile roots I had of that town. I had wanted to move south again - somewhere temperate, somewhere where the sun would kiss and warm my bleached skin once more. I did miss Phoenix.

But, life had other plans. I had received a scholarship for the University of Vermont for a degree in Biomedical Science – an opportunity I could not renounce. I had kept my circle while studying small, and unfortunately, my closest friends from university had moved far away after graduating.

I was lucky to have received a comfortable job offer in a neat little rural pathology laboratory in Medway, Maine as a scientist. I accessioned specimens, dissected tissue, embedded slides, spun the centrifuges whilst reporting to the pathologists. There was only a team of three pathologists and about twelve other staff on site. I had hoped for a position in more of a research field, but the atmosphere of my workplace was welcoming, fantastic for lab experience and most importantly it paid the bills.

It has only been a year since I left Vermont and I've finally started to get used to my new life and home.

Renée called me at times and I welcomed our laughter-filled chats with delight, but she was busy travelling of late with Phil and we didn't have the chance to speak often.

Charlie also checked in when he could, but for the most part, my life was quiet and devoid of company.

I'd had short term boyfriends through my university days, but none that lingered. No one I'd met since really peaked my interest; not that there were many people in the quaint little town.

In fact, even though everyone at work was friendly with me, I no longer ever really allowed anyone close enough to be more than just an acquaintance. After all, I had moved about all my life. It was only a matter of time till I moved on from here too - and if it wasn't me moving, others were leaving me. I had grown numb to the notion of people coming and going. That was just life.

I sighed as I began to cut up my last specimen. I was on dissectionist duty today. Although it could be fascinating, it was far from my favourite duty within the lab. Thankfully as our team was so small, we regularly rotated our tasks and shared in a number of responsibilities.

'A pale tan piece of tissue, comma, five millimetres in diameter, period. Quadrisected and all embedded, period,' I stated clearly into my headpiece as I sliced the small specimen and put it in a tray for processing.

We had new state-of-the-art speech-to-text software that converted our dictations into our report software - one task I had been glad had been automated. I hated typing. I checked over the conversion and with a slight smile of approval completed the case. I swiftly cleaned my cubicle with disinfectant, filed my specimens, collected my helmet and satchel from my locker and with a nod to Doctor Esrel left the relatively small but sturdy building.

Outside I approached my chained bicycle, which was snug in the bike rack along the entrance. I eagerly clipped my helmet on and unlocked my bicycle.

I had been enjoying my late afternoon shifts, which had ended at ten o'clock in the evening. The night was decidedly clear tonight. I greedily stared into the mesmerising full moon, allowing myself to get lost in its cool beauty. It wasn't often that the skies were clear here, let alone fated for that beautiful complete circle.

Although it was sometimes eerie to ride in the dark and so late, it was somewhat liberating as well; the crisp breeze swimming its way through my hair and blanching my cheeks, the sounds of owls hooting in the park that I rode through, the darkness being lit by the subtle light of the moon and the stars… I admitted that I hadn't really enjoyed the journey so much in Winter snow, but being Spring it was just perfect.

It surprised me that I had grown somewhat accustomed to the chill that Maine had brought me. Even though I often missed the sun on the plentiful overcast days, the wintry air brought me some solace. It was somehow familiar. Somehow, it drew me in. I found myself awaiting what the cold nights could bring to me.

From the time I had moved to Forks, I felt that something was missing. My life had spiralled into a hollowness that I couldn't explain. A part of my soul had been fragmented there; I was sure of it. Perhaps it had been Jacob deserting me. Perhaps it had been my 'friends' suddenly feigning my existence. I wasn't sure, but since my time there I hadn't feel complete.

I noisily exhaled at the thought of my former home; a dancing mist departing from my lips. It was time to go to my new, better home. One that didn't bring me grief. One that wouldn't abandon me. One that didn't leave me feeling so numb. One where I didn't feel lost. I slowly lifted my leg over my bike and pushed off into the darkness.

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