"I don't want to be here! I don't!" I shouted and I know they can hear me.
"What's done is done! You're staying here and that's it!"
It's as if everything I say is in vain. They wouldn't listen. Why wouldn't they listen to me? I tried so hard to keep everything in. I felt so little, so useless. I felt betrayed. After all this time, they'd been so selfish! They are still so selfish. I can't believe this!
I ran out of the house and loudly shut the door behind me. I have nowhere to go. They knew that and they wouldn't even follow. I heard them shout at me, then they started shouting at each other.
This is ridiculously sickening! Fucking great.
When I was little, the world seems so beautiful and scary at the same time. When it becomes scary and confusing for me, my dad would always assure me that he'll always be there to hold my hand. My mom would always make me hot chocolate drinks and kiss my worries away. It was perfect. I didn't think that having something so beautiful can also be scary. And the scariest part is you don't know how long you'll be able to grasp something that beautiful.
I'm not stupid. I'm not a kid anymore.
…
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I kept my eyes shut as I rested my forehead against the locker door. It's my locker for heaven's sake! Why can't I even remember the lock code? This is so stupid. I am stupid. That's why I'm here. That's why he brought me here. "Fuck!" I whispered as the bell rings loudly, a signal that I should get moving before I get in late again for my math class.
When I opened my eyes, more people rushed everywhere. Where the hell did they come from all of a sudden?
A boy wearing a red varsity jacket pushed me accidentally to the locker, my forehead hit the door loudly. I hissed in pain when I felt the cold metal door touched my skin.
"WHAT THE FUCK, PUCK?" I heard someone scream from my left. I detached myself from the lockers and touched my forehead to feel if there's a scratch. Luckily, there's none and I hope that it wouldn't bruise. I bruise up easily which sucks. My dad said that it started when I was a kid, they think I'm anemic or that's what the doctors keep telling my parents.
"What?" The boy wearing the varsity jacket with a very weird hairstyle replied to the girl who shouted at him.
"Let it go, Santana. He's just being his immature self. Let's go." I heard another girl talking. I whipped my head from my right and turn back to see who's voice it was. It's the same blonde girl who dresses nicely in her cheerleading uniform, I saw her practicing two days ago. I happened to pass them by on my way home. That's when I notice her – the brunette with the beautiful brown eyes. "Let's go." The blonde spoke to her again, very softly this time.
The brunette gave the mohawk dude a dirty look before she turned around and headed back to class. The blonde girl turned her attention to me, I think she gave me a tightlipped smile before she followed the brunette to class.
Class! Damnit! I'm going to be late again. I moved so fast and frantically searched for the room.
I'm glad when I found it without getting lost this time. McKinley isn't that big of a school. My previous school was twice as big as this one, but still since I'm new and don't know anyone in this town, it's hard.
I've only been here for a couple of days, and I thank whoever is up there that it's Friday already. I met a few people who've been nice, one of them, who talked endlessly invited me to join their club. She said all they do there is express themselves through music. It's kinda lame and not really my thing but I told her I'll think about it and that got her to stop talking.
There were still empty seats at the back and I carefully made my way there. I noticed that the two girls in cheerleading uniform were there, also seated at the back. I took the empty seat in front of them. They were busy talking so I think they didn't notice me. Good. Not that I'm afraid to talk to them or afraid of being judged, it's just that, I don't want to get any attention especially from popular kids. I know their kind. I was also a cheerleader from my previous school. Do I want to join them? No, not really. It's my senior year and the last thing I want is distraction.
My mom encourages me to join academic clubs or the cheerleading squad, she said that it'll give me a good chance to get a scholarship. Well, I'm not really fond of studying, I know my mom knows it too. That's why I told her that I'll think about joining the cheerios here and that got her to stop talking too.
The teacher appeared in front after a few minutes. He scribbled some formula on the board and talked animatedly. I tried to follow what he said and nodded when I get him. This is so boring. I don't find math that hard. It was my favorite when I was a kid, but then I think I grew out of it.
I played with my pen instead when I finished solving the problems the teacher gave us.
"This is dumb." I heard someone's voice behind me.
"Ssh… I'm trying to concentrate."
"Did you even get it?"
"I said I'm trying."
"Well, I'm not." I heard the frustration behind her voice. It's the brunette talking.
"Santana," I'm positive that it's the blonde she's talking to. "you'd be dead if you flunk this subject. You know that right?"
"Right." She said sarcastically.
"Coach Sylvester will kill you if you ever get a below av grade so you better take this seriously."
"I just don't get it, Quinn. And this is boring and stupid and – "
I dropped my pen accidentally. It fell loudly because it has a metal casing. I think nobody noticed though because they were all busy solving or talking. I heard someone sigh loudly behind me. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned slightly and the brunette – Santana, I think that's her name – held my pen. "I haven't seen you before." She said plainly. I just nodded and about to take my pen back but she pulled it a little. "Why haven't I seen you before?" She raised a brow at me.
I shrugged my shoulder and act cool or as cool as I can. "Transferee."
"Hm." She puckered her lips that can be mistaken as a frown. I scrunched my brows as I study her face. She's even more beautiful up close. She has a tan complexion that matches her eyes. Her eyes were even lighter brown with the sunlight's help to bring the color out. Her nose, it's just perfect on her face – not too big, not too pointed – just perfect. Oh wait, did I mention her lips? Damn, she has a very plump and moist lips. Every girls dream, well, except for me… I think. I'm perfectly fine with my skin and body.
She cocked her head to the side as I keep staring at her. Well, maybe staring is too strong of a word but whatever. I think she's becoming curious as to why I'm looking at her with knitted brows.
"You're definitely her type." The blonde girl beside her spoke to her. I glanced at her for a second then turn my attention back to Santana.
"Definitely." Santana smirked and looked me in the eye.
I'm confused. What are they even talking about?
"Here's my number." She scribbled something down on the paper, tore it and gave the paper to me. "Call me or you won't have this pen back…" She looked at the pen and rotated it. "Oh, fancy." She stopped rotating it when she saw what's written down. "Brittany."
The way my name rolls off her tongue gave me chills. It wasn't sexual or friendly, I couldn't quite figure out but I like it. I like it a lot.
The bell rang again and distracted everyone else. Most of them are just too eager to get out. It's the last class and it's Friday so I think everyone just wanted to go home or party.
"Hey, you doing anything tonight?" Santana walked beside me now on the way out of the room. I looked around for Quinn then found her walking by my other side.
"Uhh…" I gave her a questioning look.
"What?" She asked.
"Why are you talking to me?"
Quinn laughed beside me which made it even harder for me to understand what's going on.
"What's going on?" I asked no one in particular.
"We've seen you perform in the Nationals last year. You're second." Quinn chuckled after explaining.
Oh. I didn't know they'll notice me. I don't even recognize them. I'm not good with faces and I don't socialize that much. Even though I was part of the cheerleading squad, I really haven't felt that I belonged there. I just did it because I loved dancing. I must've forgotten that their school was our competition. Well, now that I'm here, I'm aware.
"Join the cheerios. You can definitely be a great addition." Quinn winked at me then stopped by her locker. Santana, on the other hand, continued to walk with me.
"Quinn and I are co-captains. You have to join, and with my recommendation, you'll move up the ladder faster than anyone else."
"I don't know – "
"Listen," Santana stopped me and pulled my elbow. She now has this intimidating look. "join us."
"What's in it for me?" I cocked my head to the other side.
"Well, what do you want?" Santana crossed her arms in front of her.
"I don't know. I'll think about it."
Santana sighed. Good, that stopped her. I turned around and started walking to the exit.
"Wait." I heard her footsteps following me. "Wait, Brittany."
I stopped and turned back around.
"Look, Santana, I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I want to graduate, move as far away from everyone as possible and make something out of myself. I don't need any distraction."
"Deal." Santana said.
"What?"
"I said deal. You'll graduate and you can do whatever you want."
"I don't think you understand – "
"Protection, respect and scholarship. That's what I can offer if you join the cheerios. Think about it." That got me to stop talking. She then stepped closer and kissed me on the cheek. Before I can even respond, she was already on her way out with Quinn.
"And oh," Santana turned back slightly. "I expect a call tonight."
With that, they made a turn and disappeared from my view.
What the hell was that about?
…
"It's Santana. I'm out. What do you want?"
I dialed her number half an hour after I arrived home. I didn't know why I did it but still did it anyways. I didn't have much to do. My dad's downstairs, probably making dinner. I don't want to talk to him plus I have nothing much to say.
"It's Brittany." I responded and walked by the window of my room. Ohio is much colder at night. I guess I'm still getting used to it since I've lived in LA for most of my life. My family goes back here from time to time to visit my grandparents, so I'm not really that new here. It's just that, for the past four years, I haven't visited nor my parents.
"Oh, hey! So, have you thought about it?"
"You do realize that it's just less than an hour since we talked."
"And here you are calling me." Damn, even over the phone I can sense her smirk. "So, what now?"
"Where are you?" I asked instead.
"At home. Why?"
"You said you're out."
"Well, I didn't know who's calling so."
"Can I ask you something then?"
"Only if you join the cheerios."
"About that, I need to start saving so I don't know if I can squeeze that in my schedule."
"Where do you work?" I hear her shuffle on the other line.
"That's my question. Can you help me find a job?"
I hear her laugh again, not the mocking kind though, just a relaxing kind of laugh. I don't know who else to call or ask help to get a job. I knew that if I ask my dad, he just wouldn't approve of the idea. He has too much pride even though I know that he's also trying to make ends meet.
"Meet me outside the cheerios locker tomorrow. Practice starts at eight. I'll have your uniform ready."
"I'm not joining."
"I know where you can work but I won't help you unless you show up tomorrow."
"Fine."
"Great."
"Okay."
"Well, I gotta go now."
"Alright. See you."
"Right."
She ended the call and I plopped down on my bed. The next thing I know, my father's waking me up for dinner. We have the same conversation about the new school, people I've met and my plans. My dad said that I need to socialize more and be out there. He thought that it's pathetic to be locked up in the house on a Friday night. I just shrugged his comment. He also reminded me to call my mom, I nodded my head though he knows that I wouldn't even do it.
"Honey, it's not your fault, not hers too."
"Right." I nodded my head again and he sighed defeatedly.
"Alright. Don't stay up too late if you have morning practice tomorrow."
"You don't have to wake up early tomorrow, dad. I can manage."
"Are you sure? How will you go to school then?"
"I can walk." I shrugged my shoulders again.
"Oh."
"It'll only take like twenty minutes to get there plus it's also a good warm up."
"Okay then. Just be careful."
"Yep."
…
I was walking lazily towards the school, earphones plugged in my ears and hands in the pocket of my jacket. I saw some people jogging around. I saw familiar faces who greeted me with smiles. I'm not in the mood for socializing this early. That's why I kept my music plugged in.
I was already halfway to McKinley when a car slowed down, matching my pace. I looked up and saw Santana driving. I swear, that girl radiates with confidence and beauty. She spoke of something, but I didn't hear. I suddenly remembered why and hastily pulled out my earphones.
"Hop in." She repeated herself and stopped the car. I also stopped walking and faced her.
"Oh no, I'm good. Thanks."
"I'm not offering again. Come on, blondie."
I rolled my eyes and sighed. I'm not in the mood to socialize this early.
"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Santana smirked when I put my seatbelt on.
"Who wakes up this early on a Saturday?" I rolled my eyes again.
"I do and so do you from now on." She focused back on the road.
"Why do you seem to always be around?" I really don't mean to say it aloud. I closed my eyes in frustration.
"It's a small town you know." She mumbled quietly.
The rest of the car ride was quiet. When we reached the school, Santana led me to the cheerios locker room and handed me a uniform, the exact same thing that she's wearing. I took it without any more fuss. I pulled my jacket over my head and changed in front her. She looked surprised when I did that. She's probably taken off guard.
"Like what you see?" I smirked.
"Definitely." She smirked back. That's the least I expect from her. "Come out when you're ready." She then started walking out to the field and all I saw was her hips swaying elegantly. I know she did it on purpose.
"You made it!" Quinn walked up to me excitedly and bumped my shoulder with hers.
"Yeah. We'll see how it goes." I offered her a smile back.
"You're in! Silly. We informed Coach Sue about you yesterday."
"Whoa, just like that?"
"She needs you." Quinn started tying up her hair. From the distance, I've seen Santana. She's shouting and cursing around like a boss while other girls scurried at her command.
"What's her deal?" I tipped my chin towards the Latina.
"Crazy, isn't she?" Quinn stepped forward while we watched.
"I've seen crazier things." I shrugged.
"Santana loves winning. She always gets what she wants, and she always wants control."
"How about you?"
"I'm taking a back seat. I'll let Santana do her thing for a while. Plus, now you're here. We could use some of your suggestions. The routines you have last year shook Santana… that's when she noticed you."
"Hm, interesting."
"Not much of a talker, huh?" Quinn then looked at me.
"I'm awkward at people. I don't socialize that much."
"You fit here perfectly then."
"I'm not sure about that."
"Oh, come on. Don't be so pessimistic about things. You'll like it here, believe it or not."
"Do you like being here?"
"I'm trying to enjoy it since this is my final year. Yours too, right?"
"Hopefully, yeah."
"I heard you're from LA. Why'd you move here?"
"I live with my dad now."
"Oh." Quinn said. She didn't ask for more though. She knew when to stop. It's quite a breath of fresh air to be honest. Everyone in my previous school seemed to make a big deal out of everything. Maybe that was why my father brought me here.
Quinn made it seem light. Even the conversation with her is uncomplicated. We talk about things – well, she mostly asked questions and I tried to answer as briefly as possible. She's not a bitch, which was a good surprise. I can tell whether a person is genuine or not. Maybe she needed something from me that's why I'm here, but I also needed something from them.
Well, maybe, just maybe, I could less be doubtful about this place as I originally had been.