Of the few things that I own, the works of Kinoko Nasu are not one.

In other words, I do not own Fate/Stay Night

P.S. I made a few ittsy bittsy changes mostly getting the names structured right so feel free to take a reread

March 1st 1994, Four weeks after the end of the Fourth Heaven's Feel

In, out. In, out. Keep calm and just handle this like you did leaving the house before, no big deal.

He had been obsessing about this for the past, he looked at the clock in the dining room, eighteen hours, twelve minutes and… twenty seven seconds. Well, like eight of those hours he had been asleep but he knew that it was the thought that was numbered, or whatever the sayings that his teachers in London had been trying to drill into his head. Even without counting, Shinji could feel each passing second ticking down in his head all this time so clearly, he could've sworn he had been dreaming about it too.

And given how terribly his nights had been ever since setting foot back in Fuyuki a little over a month ago, dreams were the last thing he wanted to think about.

Nothing to be worried about, just something that needs to be done.

Shaking away the bad thoughts, Shinji slapped his hands on his cheeks and built up his resolve. Glancing back at the clock, 6:13 PM displayed by its hands, the boy nodded. He had officially reached his limit and now he was gonna do something about it. If he didn't, how could he be a good brother to that girl like Grandfather had asked of him? Shinji knew that he hadn't been all that good at it to begin with but if he tried hard enough, Sakura would want to be a part of the family and then…

No! Not the time to be distracted, not at all! Shinji rushed through the hallways and up the stairs to his room where he had the supplies ready for his attack. Looking down at his assorted treasures, he grinned. This had to be the best plan that had ever been made in the history of ever!

Every time that Sakura disappeared with Grandfather and Father, she was always gone till after bedtime and she was always sad when she finally made it to her room. The boy could imagine what had made her so gloomy; when he was in London, there were times when Shinji's teachers would make him write down the answer to a question over and over again to make sure both his body and mind remembered the lessons. That being said, Shinji had grown worried as each day after he had come back home from his schooling, she seemed to get more and more silent. It made sense to him that such a quiet detached, and honestly somewhat dull, girl would need tutoring from the smartest person he knew but her actions now were troubling. You'd think there'd be a sign of improvement, of life even after spending that much time under Grandfather's wing but there was nothing. It had gotten to the point where Shinji had broken one of the few rules he had from his father, "Do not disturb the girl once she has retired for the night."

Grandfather had always laughed the few times that Father has ever talked to Shinji and Shinji had tried to find it as funny as he did but he couldn't ever laugh at Father. Not when the man gave him such a dirty look and definitely not when he remembered how his father looked and acted when there was no one else around, surrounded by all those bottles.

Shinji already knew of the legacy of his family, the Matou, and what was expected of him as the heir to such a prestigious magus family so he understood that all of this was a test before he could begin his training as a mage. The mage to be had already spent hours upon hours scouring the gigantic library of the manor and had already read up on the roots of Matou family as well as all the basics of magecraft, through repeating what was on the page was tough without any help though he was sure that would soon be a thing of the past once he proved himself.

"Sakura-chan's previous family has decided that she would be better off in the hands of those that would foster her growth to its fullest extent, Shinji, so she's going to be joining the family as your younger sister. Do your best to treat her well, that's all this old man can ask of you."

He had hated the idea that he had to share Grandfather with anyone, let alone a reject of her own household, so he had refused to care about the girl at first. But now he understood the reason Grandfather, who had never asked anything of the boy, had done so; it was obvious that this was his final task to complete.

Which brought Shinji back to where he was, gathering the few toys that he had and lugging them into Sakura's room so that when he rescued her from whatever boring lessons she was taking, they'd be able to play together and she would feel accepted. That will show both Father and Grandfather, once and for all, that he has the responsibility and drive to take on the mantle and to finally begin his training.

Placing the stuffed dog in the most optimal position for welcoming the purplette, plush arms pulled open wide for a hug upon its button eyes meeting the target's own, the boy's plan was finally in action. Shinji whipped around heading to the door but not leaving before he saluted the toys for their cooperation, to which their stoic stitched faces reflected his own determination. His morale boosted, Shinji moved on to the next step.

He had always avoided this area of the manor, both from being told that it was no place for him to play as well as his own feelings when he crossed by the old, wooden door on the second story. It was unavoidable since it was the first thing seen after going up the stairs yet it being alone, on its own end of the hall, never failed to call out to Shinji.

It was like hearing those stories of Grandfather's own childhood, being scared senseless but still being pulled in by the fear of not knowing.

Moving as quietly as he could down the hall, Shinji grimaced at the feeling; the air tasted like mud and goosebumps covered his exposed skin, giving his arms and the back of his neck an itchy tingle. The boy pushed through the sensations and steeled himself, reaching the end of the hallway and standing right in front of the door. The atmosphere around it seemed so disturbed that Shinji could swear that he could hear the air buzz.

Wait, no, he was sure that he could hear a faint chirring now that he was next to the door.

It was now or never. Shinji grabbed the old metal ring fixed above his head and pulled. It didn't budge. He tried again, to no avail. Stepping back with one foot, the boy grabbed the handle with both hands and-

The world shifted and suddenly Shinji was fighting to breathe. The air felt foreign and syrupy as it flowed into his lungs and made him nauseous even as he was heavily wheezing. The itchy feeling that coated his skin had grown to a burning pain that wracked his whole body, as though there were thousands of fire ants clinging to his skin by their pincers. The pure oppressive force that had come from behind the door had the child hanging on to the handle to support himself, his legs having lost feeling and all strength drained out of him; the feeling of vertigo and a mind-numbing headache blocking out all senses, stopping any form cognitive thought or action.

But, just as soon as it came, the pain disappeared.

The door that had been sealed now was open, the draft coming from the darkness behind having pushed it ajar.

Gasping and shuddering from the overload of sensations, Shinji let go of the metal ring and let his trembling arms grasp at his own body as he fell down on his knees. The boy went limp on the ground, his head pressed on the cool wood of the hallway and his body shook once more. Shinji only focused on breathing slowly, trying to calm his thundering heart.

The boy was terrified now, even more so than he had been before but now… now he had reason to fear. The roller coaster of feelings and symptoms all pointed to only one answer, that was magecraft. He began to crawl away from the door, from the pain, from his problems, everything in his body telling Shinji to escape now before he really got hurt but a single thought halted any efforts in slipping away.

Sakura's in there, where the magic came from.

Shinji realized that he was already halfway through the doorway when he finally came back to his senses. And then instantly regretted it as the stench hit his nostrils and he was, for the second time today, on the verge of vomiting. Swallowing down his bile, the boy grabbed the collar of his shirt and covered his mouth and nose. With a defiant scowl set on his face, Shinji trudged on into the darkness.

The short pathway that the door was connected to ended and formed to a stairway that, as far as Shinji could tell, went on without end. The feeling in the air, while not nearly as intense as before, still made itself known as the boy shivered from the way it seemed to scrape at his skin. He had to keep going though, not only so he could find Sakura but also so he could make sure she was safe.

So the little Matou continued on.

He had only been walking down the stairway for about two short minutes when he saw the sickly glow ahead and finally grasped the scope of this hidden passageway. Shinji reached the bottom of the steps and took in the vast space that stretched wide enough to fit squarely underneath the floorplan of the Matou manor. The boy would have marveled at the spectacle of having a secret lair the likes of a superhero if he hadn't looked been put through the wringer at even the attempt of entering. Even with becoming acclimated to the foul odor, reaching the source of the stench almost physically pushed Shinji back but he had come too far to leave now.

The boy walked to the end of the platform connected to the stairway and found himself rooted to the ground, stricken awe by what lay below. There was seemingly a shallow pool of pale liquid that covered the floor of the chamber and it must've been flowing from somewhere if the waves were moving that wildly. Strangely enough, there was no sound of moving water, only a noise akin to insects wiggling in molasses that had been increased significantly. The uncomfortable noise held Shinji's attention for a moment but was pushed out of his mind when he finally had taken a good look at where the fluid was centered.

"SAKURA!"

The boy ran down the stairwell, leaping to skip as many steps as possible, and found himself at the bottom in an instant. It was there Shinji realized that he had been a fool this entire time, tricking himself into thinking one way when he knew what was going on. How couldn't he understand, the books and his Grandfather's tales left no other interpretation. The "liquid" he had seen was a signature of the Matou family magecraft, crest worms.

And that meant the reason Sak-

"Now tell me, Byakuya, what should we do with prying eyes? He is your son after all."

A voice Shinji knew better than anyone else cackled, seemingly coming from all over the chamber. Shinji tried to pinpoint the source but was violently interrupted.

"You said it yourself all those years ago, the boy is useless. Can't even follow the. Simplest. Of. Instructions."

With each pause in Byakuya's voice, Shinji's head snapped back at the force of each strike and was hurled back, slamming against the steps with a croak of pain.

"F-father, why are you do-AHHHH!"

The boy's plea was cut short by the man stomping down on his knee.

"Ha ha ha ha, while I appreciate the tenacity, allow an old man to hear from his foolish grandson." Zouken's voice now seemingly unified, had moved right next to Byakuya. He would have tried to look him in the eyes but his vision swam with tears.

"Grandfather please, I was ju-"

"Ah," Zouken's voice rang out gentle, calm. "I don't believe I had asked anything of you yet, boy." It terrified Shinji.

The boy's mouth clamped closed and he could swear that he heard the man smile.

"I had thought that it was made clear that you were never to come anywhere near the door outside, let alone this chamber. Indulge to me the reason as to why you would disobey such a simple rule."

The ancient magus' voice quietly echoed through the chamber, with an amused tone that tore holes in Shinji's heart. He swallowed down a sob and met the eyes of the family member he idolized.

"I came down here t-to play with Sakura. I was going to p-play with her so sh-she'd feel welcome here."

Zouken laughed harshly, his head thrown back in baleful mirth, and turned back to the boy's father with a sneer.

"Are you sure that he is your son? Both him and Kariya are the only two absurd enough to pull stunts like this."

Byakuya's eyes flashed at the mention of that unfamiliar name, answering with teeth grit. "You told me it was my own damn fault when the boy failed to show any promise as your puppet, that dead bastard had no part in this."

The old Matou chuckled to himself but Shinji's focus was on what his father had just said. "...Failed to show any promise as your puppet." The boy's mind froze and his body followed with it, ice sprouting from his chest.

"Father, what do you mean by that? You and Grandfather promised, you, you… you promised that I'd begin my training soon! What are you saying?"

Shinji's voice, which started weakly, grew till he was yelling at the top of his lungs at the two men. Byakuya let out a growl and grabbed the child by his hair, forcing him to his feet, and bent down to look his son in the eyes.

"You are useless. You were born useless. You have lived useless. And you will die a useless death, just like that woman that popped you out of her." It was the resigned, almost matter-of-fact way his father spoke to him that struck the boy, more so than any of the physical blows. Cold, methodical, as if the man had been waiting his entire life to say these words and had lost his patience a decade ago. "You have no magic circuits and now that there's no reason to toe the line, we can stop with the charade."

The man then turned Shinji's head to the congregating worms in the middle of the pit and let out a sigh of regret before his face hardened again.

"The girl was chosen to be the successor of the Matou, not you. She was brought here by the Tohsaka since they already have an heir of their own and the old man accepted."

Byakuya glanced back at the aghast look on his son's face but shook his head and continued on.

"You never had a chance to be a magus before she came here and it's time that you get your head out of your ass. You are like me and all the other bastards whose bones are down here, a damn failure."

With that, Shinji was thrown back down to the ground and Byakuya turned back to Zouken with a scowl, the elder still grinning at the situation. Zouken began to speak and the two's voices became a dull hum that was incomprehensible to him at this point. The boy's spirit was broken, finding the action of even breathing to be a chore, but still… still it hoped for a purpose. Still, it wished to bring pride to the Matou name no matter the cost, no matter if it was as impossible as being a magus.

The soul answered this innocent plea the only way it could, taking hold of the child's vacant eyes…

"Useless though he may be, he is still of my brood. I kept you around all these years and you proved to be even more of a waste. Gave you everything necessary to produce a salvageable heir and you still failed, at least that wife of yours was useful in adding to my longevity."

"I don't have to pretend to give a shit anymore then? Fine by me, the hired help you have can take over. Just leave me be."

Zouken snorted at that but couldn't be bothered to dwell on the father and son failures any longer. "Fine, you can despair the woes of your pathetic life without interruption, fool. Now then get th-" Only to be interrupted by a choked gasp.

The magus turned to spit vitriol at the idiot child who had far outstayed his welcome, the punishment of knowing the truth now far too kind for such an ignorant fool but stopped before he had even opened his mouth.

For the first time in probably a few centuries, Zouken was caught completely flat-footed at the sight before him. The boy's father was in the same boat, gaping wildly at his son in abject shock.

Shinji's mind was a mess, from being slapped around and being told the truth to his face.

Of course, the boy had known from the beginning that any chance that he would be able to take the mantle of heir was slim at best. Anytime that his grandfather had told him of the wondrous magecraft of those studying the Clocktower or the one-of-a-kind familiar users of their home country, Russia, the boy couldn't even fathom those feats and just nodded along. They were just incredible stories that were told, nothing more or less.

It wasn't until Grandfather had pulled a book from a shelf in the library and made it flap its pages like a bird, flying around to the boy's delight. It was after that moment of awe that Shinji had understood that he would never be able to cross into that side of the world and be one and the same with the man.

He had never once felt that pure ebb of life that his grandfather so freely let loose each time he used magecraft, the soul responding to the wishes of the mind and acting in accordance. Shinji had been able to visualize his own soul as the most basic of instructions asked of him and could feel it seated deep within himself but it seemed stuck. Anytime the boy had tried to even feel that same sensation of freeing the soul with his own efforts in magecraft, it only left him frustrated and left with a stinging pain in his head that almost seemed to be telling Shinji that he was doing something wrong.

Not now though, his soul seemed to have finally found the outlet that it was looking for and had taken hold as if to make up for lost time.

The last thing that Shinji had seen before his vision was hijacked was that girl, Sakura, so it made sense what had happened next.

"… Uncle …?"

"Sakura – I'm here to save you. It's, alright – "

Scenes and people flashed through Shinji's mind like from a movie, his eyes transposing with the real and replacing it with the fake. But it really didn't feel like a falsehood, not with how the white-haired corpse seemed to expire in front of the very real and, just like now, very chained-up Sakura. Shinji tried to make sense of it but before he could even begin, another took its place.

"Bastard... bastard, bastard..."

"I'm surprised you came back here alive—Kariya"

"...'trump card' I have secreted away for this day, come on—"

"-st Worm. The one that first absorbed Sakura's innocence. How about that, Kar-"

"Go forth and fight, Kariya…. bring back the Grail!"

Shinji felt as though his mind was being pried open and ravaged, being torn up and throwing out what had been then replacing it with the things he was seeing. The black knight, the white corpse, the yellow eyes of Grandfather; all these things forced into his head and he couldn't control it. The boy had tried to stop it but to no avail, closing his eyes to block out the illusions and clawing at them in hopes of ending whatever this was but his body froze up again as his eyes took hold once more.

"-memorized the incantations of summoning?"

"Kariya, as the Master of Berserker, fight for me…"

The boy threw up as his eyes finally cleared from whatever affliction had taken them from him finally relented, the worms relishing in the discharge and greedily consuming it in an instant. Some idiotic part of Shinji's subconscious seemed to celebrate as his attempts with vomiting which had seemingly failed up until this point, had finally been resolved. His return to reality, to the present was just as abrupt as his leaving and the whole ordeal seemed to give all of his mental facilities whiplash. It also didn't help that both Father and Grandfather MatouZouken were both as bewildered as the boy felt and that even TohsakaMatou Sakura had grown aware of his presence.

Matou Shinji managed to speak one question before the burden of consciousness was too much for him.

"W-who is Matou Kariya?"

Before you ask, no, Shinji doesn't have any OP powers like the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception.

Alright, first time doing this whole song and dance and I'd appreciate if you let me know how I did. I have kinda big aspirations for this piece since it's been bouncing around in my head for the past few months and finally putting some meat to the bare bone outlines definitely is a good feeling. I can tell you right now that any chapters after this will have a little more bulk to them but as far as an actual schedule, your guess is as good as mine. I'll try for an upload a week/week and some change but life hits you when it wants to so nothing is set in stone.

Also just letting you guys know, the italicized bits are from the Fate/Zero light novels, snippets taken from all four of them if I'm remembering right.

Thanks a million, DSDAD out