A Candle Lit in the Eclipse

by DSDAD

Many things can affect the development of a growing mind be it the loss of something vital, the birth of a new ideal to strive for, or the will to face any obstacle head on as it is in your family's nature. Shinji's case was a lot more complicated than that; let it be known that the sins of the fathers must be absolved, especially if you've bear witness to every single sin yourself

5. The Weight of Ideals

You ever just double your word count due to the fact that you have no sense of self control?

I do not own the works of Kinoko Nasu

P.S. added a good bit to this chapter so a reread is recommended

P.P.S added even more lol

---

The Weight of Ideals

July 10th 2002

"That old coot said what?"

Shinji ignored the rather amusing display of Issei making an "X" with his arms and shaking his head in the negative, to the point where it seemed that the temple heir's glasses staying on his face was an action defying the laws of physics themselves. The teenager opened his mouth as Reikan let out an exasperated sigh and put his head in his hands.

"Still not sure why you are making this big of a deal out of this but Fujimura-oyakata [1] said he wanted to have to have dinner with me for helping Taiga-san by dragging some stuff back to the Fujimaru estate, main reason why I showed up late today; you can ask Issei, he was there too."

The normally mild-mannered Ryuudou Genkei let out a roar of indignation and slammed his bowl of rice down, turning to his younger son in question. Issei was doing his best impression of a tatami mat, laying completely flat and inching closer and closer underneath the chabudai [2] to avoid the man's ire but such a halfhearted attempt at escape had no chance of working.

"Issei, you were at that fossil's lair? The hell you got behind those glasses; a head full of water? There is not a single good thing that can come from dealings with Fujimura Raiga, I know that I've said this to the both of you high schoolers. Damn bastard is friends with the police chief. How the hell does the head of a crime family end up buddies with law enforcement? The work of devils no doubt..."

The end of that statement turned to grumblings about how the yakuza boss would incur divine punishment for his very existence and Issei wisely ignored that.

"Dad, I had no idea that I was going to get roped into this until Shinji told me he needed help with something! By the time I was face to face with Fujimaru-sensei, it was too late to say no; if you want to blame someone, that unrepentant idiot across from you is a good place to start!"

Reikan shook his head at the scene before him, turning to the only other person in the room.

"There really isn't a boring day here when Shinji visits, huh?"

"It seems the boy will never change; he is just as incendiary to those around him as when I met him three years ago."

Reikan grinned in response and laid back to enjoy the show as the bespectacled man continued to eat dinner, unmoved by the chaos in front of him.

"Why were you even in a situation where you would go there? Kiritsugu's boy should have taken care of things for that fool."

"Emiya…" The Matou murmured to himself.

Pausing to give Shinji a quizzical look at his whispering, Issei turned back to his father; the student council secretary still lain flat on the ground.

"Emiya Shirou was injured today at his part-time job, bad enough for Fujimura-sensei to leave for the hospital the moment she heard. He was burned pretty severely, though thankfully only in a small area, and has a bone fracture in his right shoulder. I'm going down to the hospital to check up on him tomorrow."

"Hmmm, fine then. Though Shinji, you should really get rid of that habit, getting roped into the affairs of those around you. There is much of life to live without keeping track of everyone else, learn to relax once in a while or you'll end up like Souichirou-kun. Being that rigid will get you nowhere with women," Genkei said, glancing between the teacher and teenager in question.

Souichirou Kuzuki looked up from his bowl but didn't bother responding.

Shinji grinned at the man's reaction, things like marriage and other life milestones seemed to never be a priority for the high school teacher. He seemed completely content in his rather simple life and the fact that he lived in a Buddhist temple was fitting enough; if the man had taken to the faith, he would have been a model monk.

Of course, that was what Kuzuki projected out as his natural image; if anyone knew of his past as a killing tool, such an unfulfilled existence would be a given.

"It's just the way I am, you've known me for four years. I would have hoped that you would have gotten used to it by now."

Genkei ignored the teenager and surveyed the room. Everyone had finished up dinner with the exception of Issei, who had abandoned his bowl to seek safety instead. With a groan, the temple elder cracked his neck and nodded to Shinji.

It was finally time.

"Shinji and I will be taking a walk for a while. Reikan, take care of my nightly duties and, Issei, help out where you can. Tell your mother I'll be off the grounds. I think that we'll be out for quite a while so don't wait up for me to return."

Genkei got up and stretched a bit before glancing back at his empty bowl with a small grin. "Oh yeah, tell her dinner was exceptional, boys. Fantastic as always."

The two brothers gave each other a certain look as their father and Shinji made their way out the room, one that was common when witnessing the lovestruck antics of their father. Even after thirty years of marriage, the pair still stayed as toothachingly sweet as ever.

Walking down the long hallway that led from the inner rooms on the side of the temple to its inner courtyard, Shinji watched as the passing monks busied themselves with their own tasks. There wasn't an idle soul in these four corners, each one doing their part to keep the body of such a spiritual place as beautiful as its soul.

And without fail, every single man who crossed their path paid respect to the Ryuudou patriarch, words of gratitude and admiration with a light in their eyes that could never be faked. Such a love given fitted a man with a heart like Ryuudou Genkei.

As the two walked, Genkei broke the momentary silence. "I feel as though I am always repeating myself to you Shinji, but do you know the history that the Ryuudou family has with Mt. Enzou?"

"I do, though I know that you enjoy telling me this story just as much as I like hearing it."

"Hah ha, I have always liked that about you, Shinji. Always one for tales of times long past, something that my boys never had much of an appreciation for. Well then, allow this old-timer to indulge himself!"

The pair made their way from the courtyard to the outer wall that bordered the temple, where the back gate of Ryuudou Temple resided. The large wooden gate, which was normally barred this late in the day, stood unlocked as per Genkei's orders and so the two continued forth through the doors.

"My ancestors had come from a lineage of lowly monks, dedicated and disciplined but lowly all the same. To come into contact with anything otherworldly was unthinkable for a man of their standing, pure maidens who dedicated themselves to the shrine of a Shinto god or those who supposedly had the blood of youkai running through their veins, those are the ones who would cross paths with the supernatural."

The full moon in the night sky illuminated the forest of Mt. Enzou, moonlight dancing through the verdant canopy. The lake that sat at the temple's back reflected the pale light, the stillness of the water providing the perfect imitation of the lunar body.

"And for most of the tales with gods and spirits, it is the unnatural who collides with humans but not in the case of the Ryuudou blood. Traveling as a wandering priest, one of my ancestors had come across Fuyuki and had decided to rest here before beginning his journey once more. The man had arrived in the city expecting to experience the same peace that we are sharing here today but instead was met with destruction and sorrow as the lands were ravaged. Coming across the fleeing denizens, the monk was told that at the middle of the city, where the land was split into two by the river Mion, a fierce dragon god had become angered by the lack of reverence that the townsfolk gave to the being; the river deity had gifted the lands bordering its river to humans long before and had received offerings throughout the years but as time went on, the tributes dwindled till at last, they stopped completely."

Shinji had heard this all before but he relished in any chance to hear it once more. It had been a long time since Grandfather had told the boy tales of the past and so having such a talented storyteller like Genkei was truly appreciated.

After all, hearing about the past beat visions of the past, ten times out of ten.

"Once the townspeople had pled for the man's help, the Ryuudou monk made his way through the ruined city to where the dragon god still stood, the deity's control of the storms and water continuing to lay waste. Taking note of the man's arrival, the winds and waves grew in intensity as the dragon god placed his full attention on the human. The man was easily dwarfed by the deity and even sharing the same air was a trial in itself yet the good-natured smile on the monk's face stayed in place, the two facing another only separated by a few feet.

It could easily be said that in a duel of strength, one regular human has no chance of overcoming the might of a god; the only way to subdue such a thing is not with the body but with the mind.

"So, you are the great and mighty lord of the river Mion, Dragon-san?"

"It seems that this speck of land is not the only place in the world which houses fools, for a lowly vagrant to come to my dwelling at such a time. I have no such patience for those who mistake idiocy with bravado. Speak your final words and make peace with your god."

The monk through all of his travels had never come to face a being like this but he knew how to deal with the type; those who were quick to anger and ranted haughtily were most susceptible to the simplest appeals to emotion."

Shinji and Genkei walked on the man-made path that led from the back gate of the temple to the bridge over Mion river. The forest surrounding them was just as enchanting as the lake before it, completely peaceful with only a light breeze rousing the branches from their slumber. The head monk still spun his tale, paying no mind to the path he was on, eyes to the skies as he led the boy through an untrodden trail known only to those trusted with the protection of Mt. Enzou.

"Would such a magnificent and wise deity such as yourself truly burden itself with such a task? Dragon-san, you have governing over the forces of nature themselves, to lower such a divine ability as a means to maim and murder would only sully your impressive visage. And what a shame that would be!"

"And yet, fool, you still address such a revered god like myself as Dragon-san. Is it not you who has dragged my nature as a divinity into the same mud that you humans inhabit? To be treated as one of your ilk instead of being lauded in tongues of respect, truly there is no greater disgrace."

Though the words the dragon god spoke were threatening, the being's voice reflected no such malice. The deity now was more curious than irate, studying the human who dared to speak to him as though he was an old acquaintance or mentor instead of regarding the god in the highest of respect. The monk, still grinning, moved even closer to where the river met the bank; the river god and man being only inches apart. The dragon god had mirrored the movements of the human, lowering itself from its lofty position of supremacy to the same level.

"Why, Dragon-san, it is not that I have no respect for one as almighty and understanding such as yourself, it is because of that very fact that I am able to speak in such a fashion! Rather than being truly vengeful and dispassionate like deities of lower quality, you embody the traits that ones such as myself wish most to gain and nurture as you have! As a parent would chastise an ungrateful child, Dragon-san, you have done the same with those of this city and just the same as a parent forgives the transgressions of their children, you too will absolve the townspeople of their lack of reverence. For one as wise and graceful as you, why, it would be remiss for me not to speak as though you were an old friend: Dragon-san, you have gifted and guided humanity from ages long past, to see you as an ally is the greatest honor a man could know."

The dragon god mulled over the words of the monk, still looking the man up and down for a sign of deceit but once more finding nothing other than that very same smile on his face. Nodding to both himself and the masterful manipulator before him, the river deity raised itself back to its natural stature and stilled the raging tempest that covered the city.

From that very action, the townsfolk had known that the Ryuudou monk had been successful in his efforts to calm the dragon god and had returned to find that the once decimated city now stood once more even stronger than before. Wooden houses that had once sat in disrepair, roofs bowed and foundations rotted, now looked newly built and the same was said for the roads and other infrastructure.

The only signs that there had been such violent divine fury was the ground, damp from the storms, the rainbow that stretched from the top of Mt. Enzou to the center of Fuyuki, and the very monk who had appeased the dragon god, drenched head to toe.

And that of course is the reason that we have the Ryuujin Matsuri [3] in the summer, to both give offerings to that same dragon god and to honor the memory of that monk."

Genkei had spoken of this story a countless amount before but his voice never failed to show the pride the man held in regards to this tale. By now, Shinji could tell that the two had traveled a long ways down the back of Mt. Enzou, the woods rife with the song of wilderness as Ryuudou temple had disappeared from sight a while back.

"The Ryuudou temple was created by one of my ancestors, a little under one thousand years ago, and has stood as home of the Ryuudou ever since. Allegedly, it was said that the founder of the temple was the same monk who calmed a deity with only wit and flattery though other than that same tale, there is no other evidence to say the same. This mountain has always been a place of spirituality, from the god of the river Mion or being naturally crafted by the Earth itself, the answer doesn't matter. The grounds were constructed with the protection of that in mind, bordering walls all around and a simple way of entry and exit. The temple had always had an entrance from the front and rear, though the torii at the top of the steps leading to the temple was the first thing that had been created after the walls had been put up. The walls and the torii, protection from both man and spirit, have served this temple without fail for the past nine hundred or so years with those of Ryuudou blood charged with that same duty."

Upon finishing his tale, Genkei suddenly stopped and crouched down, moving carefully down an earthy slope to a softly flowing stream of water coming out an indented section of the mountain. Shinji made his way down as well and noted the features of the weathered rocky hollow they were in front of. The cave was obscured by both the shadows of the forest and the gnarled roots that enveloped it, as though they were a curtain of hair and the fact that it was so small didn't help at all. The only indication that there was even something of note there was the fact that water seemed to spout out of solid rock.

"Whoa there, Shinji. No need to go any further."

"Wh- huh?"

The teenager had somehow walked past where Genkei was and had been stopped by the man before he had strayed. Shinji turned back to the small cave, a bit embarrassed but mostly impressed. There was definitely magecraft involved, some kind of compulsion to turn away but it also seemed as though the mountain itself was hiding it away, the way the rest of the forest was pulling him from the entrance. It was a pretty foolproof method of keeping such a place safe; if you weren't specifically looking for this spot, there was little chance that you would have stumbled upon it.

"Well then Shinji, here we are. The core of Mt. Enzou, a place that has been protected by us monks ever since the temple was constructed. Heh, or rather should have been protected by the monks."

The temple elder let a self-deprecating laugh at the afterthought, the merry mood he had during the mountain trek quashed. Shinji opened his mouth to say different but changed his mind; even if he told the man why it wasn't the fault of Ryuudou Temple, explaining exactly what happened and how he knew wasn't possible.

The less that knew of the Greater Grail's condition the better.

The Matou crouched down in front of the hollow and peered deeper. The small cave seemed to go on for a bit but it only a few feet in and Shinji could tell that there was no way that he would be able to fit further, the walls growing closer the deeper you went.

"Just through here then. I don't suppose that you can do anything with the illusion?"

With a light nod, Genkei raised one of his hands in a praying motion and closed his eyes, whispering something under his breath before speaking normally.

"Now then, this is as far as I go, Shinji. Been in there once years ago and that was enough to keep me from ever wanting to go back. I'll be out here till you return."

"You sur-" The teenager saw the look on the elder's face." Never mind, old man. Thanks for the help as always."

Shinji knew that Genkei had reservations about the cavern where the Greater Grail resided but to know it was to this extent was a bit shocking though not unbelievable. Now that the illusionary wall had disappeared, the air around the entrance had become saturated with magical energy that reeked of impurities. His skin crawled as the same sickly feeling that he had felt when he had encountered the corrupted Lesser Grail in the Central Park all those years ago washed over his body.

"Well then, I'm off. See you in a bit."

The teenager entered the cave, disappearing from sight almost instantly and Genkei was left alone in the forest. The man shook his head at the boy's seemingly devil may care attitude; it appeared that Shinji himself hadn't noticed the way his hands had begun to tremble just before going in but that was alright.

It beat being too cowardly to even attempt the same.

"Whatever you're looking for, Shinji, I pray that you won't find it in there. Nothing good could come from such a place."

---

It seemed that Shinji was right to assume he didn't need a flashlight to see down here, there was a weak green glow coming from the walls of the cavern that was just enough to see where he was going. The walls had opened up from a cramped space that only allowed one-person passage to a comfortable distance that would allow him to fully stretch out his arm span yet still not touch anything. And due to the fact that the greatest of the Fuyuki leylines was under this mountain, the cave gave off a vast amount of life force with each breath taken refreshing him. All in all, the place looked as though it had been ripped from some fantasy story where the hero would find a hidden weapon or magic tome.

That feeling of adventure was torn away however by the malice that poured from every facet of the cave and each step the teenager took made the weight of it grow larger.

Shinji kept going though, ignoring his innate sense of self-preservation and reached an area of the cave that had opened up vastly. If he could guess, the viewable area was large enough to fit an Olympic-sized swimming pool with space to spare, seeing as the roof of the cavern was so far up that he could barely make out the tiny points up there as stalactites. It wasn't that much a surprise since Shinji knew that the area that housed the Greater Grail was even larger due to the necessity of having a big enough working space for the array of its magic circle but still it was breathtaking in a way.

Though he was a bit astounded with the state that the cavern was in, giant craters and shattered stone littered throughout the area, some places even showing signs of intense heat; melted rock and the layer of soot throughout.

Walking to the center of the cave space, Shinji could feel a light ache behind his eyes; the largest crater sat there and the familiar feeling grew stronger the closer he came to it.

"I knew it happened down here but really… Would have thought they would have fought it out in the next area but I guess not. Guess Grandfather and the old Tohsaka had some kind of sentimentality after all."

Shinji allowed his eyes to take hold as he stood in the middle of the room, at the bottom-most point in the crater, the surroundings staying much the same except now there was the thunderous clamor of war and the quaking of the earth. The Matou had only a moment to acquaint himself to the sounds around him before he heard a somewhat familiar voice cry out.

"Lancer, strike them down! I don't care if your Noble Phantasm brings down the mountain with them, just end that servant now!"

"Archer, do the same! I refuse to die! Not here, not to this damnable fool!"

The tremors in the cavern died down at the cries of the two magus and the heroic spirits ceased their combat and jumped back to where their masters were, still locked in battle. The two human combatants were wounded, covered with blood and dirt, but that did little to hinder their fighting ability. Tohsaka Nagato rushed forward, striking at the worm familiars that were spewing from Makiri Zouken's robes with his hands and feet, obliterating each one with a single strike. Zouken in turn ran towards the Tohsaka and let forth a salvo of high-pressure water bullets while preparing a mightier attack. Nagato, fists covered in a green glow, countered the volley of water effortlessly but realizing that the Makiri magus was readying magecraft, called upon the magical energy stored in his jeweled necklace and began channeling his own spell.

The entire cave space was bathed in light as the two magus and their servants prepared their final attack, the air vibrating as the mana all around became thick enough to be seen. With a roar, the opposing sides let loose their stored power and for a moment, the world stood still.

"May this inferno blaze as brightly as the one in my heart, Lúin of Celtchar!"

The flaming spear of Lancer erupted as if it were a volcano, shooting out a plume of flames that bathed its user in a cloak so hot, the rocks underneath the servant melted to lava instantly. The servant leapt up, a blur underneath roaring fire, and threw the weapon with all his might.

"Fly true and fly far as commanded by the Jade Emperor, Nine Arrows That Struck Down The Nine Suns!"

Nine giant arrows appeared nocked on the suitably titan-sized bow of Archer, each formed from impossibly tough tendons of an ancient dragon, and the heroic spirit was enveloped in a light that rivaled the sun's intensity tenfold. Archer pulled back on the bowstring with his entire being, spirit origin straining under the immense weight of the task, and let loose his volley.

The human masters refused to let their servants do all the work and brought forth their own final offense, striking each other with the last of their reserves.

"I refuse to lose anything more, Tohsaka! She is the last, the final damn thing that I will allow to be taken from me! The grail will be mine, no matter what! безжизненный поток!" [4]

"You think I give a damn about any of that anymore, Makiri! It is over! We failed, damnit! The three of us failed! If you refuse to accept it, I will force you! Immer Füllend Hohl!" [5]

The stream of supersonic impossibly frigid water burst from the Russian magus with the force of a geyser and collided with a gem empowered barrage of hollow magecraft shot forth from the Japanese magus and at that same instant, the noble phantasms of their heroic spirits clashed.

From that point onwards, the guise of a ritual for the betterment of the world was ripped away and the truth of its savagery was lain bare.

Shinji let out a groan and rubbed his temples as the vision faded, eyes shut in pain; the intense sensory onslaught of witnessing a battle of the Holy Grail war was taxing, to say the least.

"Ah… damn… that was flashy as all hell. Not nearly as intense as the end of the Third but still… Wonder if you still have it in you to fight like that?"

Catching his breath, Shinji waved off the sensations of the next oncoming vision and continued on his way. He had come here for a specific reason and watching his grandfather duke it out with magus from two hundred years ago was not it.

He'd just look into it on his way back since it wasn't all that important, he already knew the outcome of the First Heaven's Feel; witnessing it with his own eyes was just redundant though not unwelcome.

But just pondering about while Genkei was waiting for him was both rude and foolish so the teenager resumed his trek through the cavern, traveling as quickly as possible through the rocky expanse into another small corridor.

The path had become increasingly darker as the boy made his way further from the open area, the green moss having petered off as the corrupted energy of the Grail completely overtook the leyline's mana. It wasn't pitch black for long however, as the cavern opened up once more and the area was bathed in an eerie crimson light. That glow coming from the spire shooting out blackened flames atop the gigantic wall at the back of the cave.

"So that's where you were all this time, huh?"

Shinji had murmured that quietly yet his voice carried throughout the entire area, echoing slightly. The boy paused as if expecting a response but continued walking until he reached the sloped wall separating the rest of the cave from the Cup of Heaven. And with each step he took, Shinji could see the rock scoured deeply with magecraft, creating a huge array for the magic circle; no matter where he turned his eyes to, it was all etched with layer after layer of crests forming a massive, glowing circuit powered by the leyline.

Climbing the steep rocky slant, Shinji was once again subjected to the oppressive weight of curses that were originating from the corrupted grail above him though it did little to slow him down. He was determined in reaching the Greater Grail no matter what, something this insignificant had no chance of stopping him.

Plus, all this malice with no direction was nothing compared to the atmosphere of being in the presence of real inhuman monsters.

Upon reaching the top, the teenager was hit with a wave of heat, the grail letting out another burst of fire. Though the heat was odd, his skin itself felt clammy and littered with goosebumps despite the intense inferno above him so he just chalked it up to the side effects of the infected magecraft. Looking up at the thing now up close gave the boy a new perspective on the immenseness of the Cup of Heaven which reached up over the height of a skyscraper. The ground he was walking on was impressive as well, seeing as the most complex of the magical circuit was laid down on this plateau; the most important and initial of which being under the corrupted grail, creating a perimeter thirty feet around it.

A pain behind his eyes burned as Shinji moved closer, a warning. He winced, eyes twisted in pain as his whole frame shook from the sensation; this one was especially torturous in comparison to normal memories.

"Must be because he was part of this one too." The teenager put on a grim grin. "Well, no use waiting for it to subside. No matter what, it's just downhill from here."

Shinji breathed deeply and walked forward to the edge of the original magic circle and upon breaching it, opened his eyes to the vision.

"Hmm, judging by my calculations, the initial magic circuit will have to stretch out this far, Makiri-sensei. Is that going to be enough space for you and Einzbern-sensei to house the Cup of Heaven?"

"Let's see here, the circle will be this wide and will have eighteen layers all to account for the flow and storage of mana from the leyline and then… you did this… then accounted for that with these runes… and covered that by transitioning from the rigidity of Germanic magecraft to the more malleable Asian magic circles. Fantastic job, Ayaka-chan.* No doubt better than your father could have ever done. Come, let's show Justeaze your brilliant work."

"You can't say that, Makiri-sensei! I'm still a growing magus, there's still so much I have to learn before I can say I'm better than anyone."

"Well then, that's why I'm the one saying it, child, not you. I have the repertoire to back up my words."

The fourteen-year-old may have said that seriously but the way she giggled at the praise from the senior magus showed her true feelings. Beckoning the girl to follow him, the Makiri head rolled up the paper the two were looking at and began making his way to where the Einzbern homunculus was resting further back in the cavern, taking advantage of the abundant magical energy the place was giving off to replenish her own.

"That girl could at least try to be proud of her father, rather than getting starry-eyed at those two foreigners. Damn brat."

"Hahahahaha, the girl has more of an earnest interest in magecraft than you ever did, Nagato. It is only natural that she would gravitate to those that have made the study of it the forefront of their lives. It seems no matter which of you Tohsaka it is, you and your family never fail to entertain me. I have high hopes that certain quality of your blood will continue long after this, I can't wait to see how much amusement the Tohsaka will bring me in a few hundred years."

Shinji's consciousness grew dim at the very sound of the man's voice but he managed to hold on, bracing himself for his appearance.

"Glad to see that all my lineage amounts to is a cheap laugh, Old Man."

Zelretch turned back to Nagato, still gauffing loudly, but schooled his expression to a wide grin at the glare his pupil was giving him. The two stood at the edge of the plateau at the complete opposite end of where the trio of Justeaze, Zouken, and Ayaka were congregated, only a few feet from where the Greater Grail was to be created.

Nagato made to speak once more but Zelretch beat him to the punch.

"It's been eight years, hasn't it? Since the three of you began this experiment of yours."

Nagato turned away from the Wizard Marshall to where his colleagues were, spoiling his daughter with their praise, and let out a sigh. "That it has, eight years ever since you brought that ass Makiri to my city and all this nonsense started. Explaining why a magus from Clocktower came to this spot in the country was bad enough, the army of German Homunculi popping up was just rubbing salt into the wound. That bastard Aozaki still finds this whole thing hilarious and I don't blame him. It's been like a damn circus here ever since."

"You don't regret it though, do you?"

The Japanese magus shook his head. "No, just as much as those two believe their goals will be fulfilled with this so do I. The Lord must have been telling me something when I chanced upon you in that lodging all those years ago, all of this is culminating to something far greater than ourselves. This right here is what I was put on the Earth for, with both magecraft and my faith in mind, to see this to the end, whatever that may be."

Zelretch patted the Tohsaka patriarch on the back, the twinkle in the Dead Apostle's eyes growing even stronger after hearing Nagato speak. Matching his pupil, the vampire gazed at the perfected Einzbern Homunculi and the runaway Zolgen magus with a calculating look on his face, though the smirk never left the man's face.

"You know, I chose you especially."

"What do you mean by that, Old Man? What about those two?"

The wielder of the Second Magic chuckled again but shook his head. "Those two, of course, I guided them together and set them on the path but… even without my meddling, those two would have found each other and began their journey. They are like the moon and the tides, locked in an embrace that never can be yet still never ceasing in their attempt; a destined pair despite all circumstances." He glanced back at his pupil. "But not you. No, out of all the magus I have at my disposal, I chose you. Do you know why?"

Nagato stayed silent but gave the Wizard Marshall an appraising look, bidding the man continue.

His ever-present grin growing wider, Zelretch with his right hand reached to his hip and pulled out his one-of-a-kind mystic code; Jewel Sword Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. The thing was a work of art, though by whose creation, only its wielder knew; the blade was three feet long, composed of an otherworldly jewel with a thin black core. The guard was rough and jagged, as though it had been blasted apart then cobbled onto the weapon, though the handle was composed of smooth stone, the same material as the crossguard but tamed to a sleek form.

Having only just stabilized his breathing from the vampire's presence, Shinji bit back a wave of nausea as he was thrown into a state of vertigo at the weapon's unsheathing. The sheer amount of magical and spiritual energy that was being released by the user and his armament was causing his eyes to go beyond their normal parameters and his mind and body were being used to accommodate for it.

He could already taste the blood pooling in his mouth.

Walking to the point that the Cup of Heaven would be placed, Zelretch took his sword and gently allowed it to touch the ground. The mystic code met with the rock underneath it and bit into the solid stone with no effort whatsoever from its wielder. Channeling the mana that came straight from the most prominent of Fuyuki's leylines into the blade, the vampire allowed the magical energy to flow into himself and back through the conduit, returning it to its source.

Zouken and Justeaze must have noticed the actions of their mentor since they began to make their way back to Nagato and Zelretch with Ayaka in tow. The millennia-old magus turned back to his follower, this time with a subdued smile.

"Because you are good, good in heart, good in soul; frankly good in all the ways that make you a failure as a magus. You are not the only one with this nature in the world, of course, but you fit the bill better than all others I could call upon."

If Nagato was offended by his mentor's assessment, it didn't show on his face. "And Makiri and Einzbern are not?"

"Not in the conventional sense, no. The two of them share the characteristic of having a goal which is for the greater good of the world yet the origin of their ideal comes from a dark place. The Einzbern's desire to reclaim the Third Magic stems from a plan to save humanity, to collectively encompass the souls of every human and put them into a state where the pain of death, illness, and impurities have no place in their conscious. A noble thought, at least when you ignore the issue of free will. With Zouken, the lines become a bit more blurred." Nagato's eyes flicked to the Russian magus but returned to Zelretch. "The man wishes for a utopia, a place where there is no such thing as the burden of evil staining the world. Understandable, seeing as he lived through a true hell on Earth. He has sacrificed much in his pursuit of knowledge and even now, bears the weight of sins committed for the sake of others, a model of a modern saint if I have ever seen one in my thirteen hundred years… But it is because his desire for a world of purity came first from being overwhelmed and beaten down by the injustices of the world, such a lofty dream will inevitably become twisted. No matter how much he struggles, Makiri Zolgen will never reach his ideal."

Shinji flinched despite the intense pain that the action caused as the Dead Apostle locked eyes with him, as though there weren't hundreds of years between them.

"But I suppose such things are already quite evident, no need for voicing it myself." Zelretch turned back from staring off into space and focused his attention back to Nagato as he returned his mystic code to its sheath, ignoring the perplexed expression on his pupil's face. "We will talk on this topic later, Nagato. Now then, can't have your daughter outshining you in your life's work twice in one day, can you? Back to work, I've got good news for you three but you'll have to earn it!"

The Tohsaka let out a sigh once more, knowing it was useless to even waste the time wondering what his mentor's words meant or the meaning behind his odd actions, before making his way nonetheless to the grayed magus, waiting for his partners and daughter to reach them.

Shinji let out a gasp of pain as his vision returned from the past to the present, wheezing desperately and falling to the ground with a thud as his body convulsed wildly.

The backlash of a vision really only depended on the content within it; if it was as simple as a typical conversation between a young Kariya and his childhood friends, the pain in his head was negligible if not zero. For events like the one prior with Grandfather and Tohsaka Nagato fighting, key moments that dictated what path the Matou had taken to end up in their current state, the pain was comparable to shoving a red-hot rod through the teenager's temples and leaving it there to cook the space behind his eyes. A horrid feeling but one that the boy had gotten used to over the years.

Memories that involved the Fourth Seat of the Dead Apostle Ancestors, Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, were a completely different breed of agony.

"Ack! Gurk… cak, eah…"

Choking on his own spit and blood, Shinji twisted his body with his limited control from laying on his back to his side and the boy's airways became clear with a few coughs. Which was welcome seeing as not a moment later, the boy vomited. Blood leaked from the edges of his eyes and the spasms throughout his body caused the Matou to painfully grind against the jagged surface underneath him, though the external stimuli distracted Shinji from the pain currently running rampant through every fiber of his being.

After a few minutes, Shinji was able to wrest control back from his body though there were still tremors as his muscles still hadn't fully relaxed.

The teenager, albeit unsteadily, forced himself into a hunched-over position, kneeling with his hands holding up his upper body. Blood dripped down off his face from every orifice onto the rock below, pooling in the etched magic circle, the amount of which would be concerning if Shinji hadn't once experienced it before.

"Hah hah… That was… hah, pretty bad. No- not as terrible… as before but at least- hah… last time I slammed into laminate instead of solid- hah… rock."

Finally catching his breath, the boy stood upright with slight difficulty and did a check of his body, surveying for any wounds caused by his fit on the ground. Luckily, other than an egg-sized lump on the side of his head, there were no other injuries on him. Shinji pulled a handkerchief out from one of his pockets and began to mop up all the blood off of his face.

"Aw, too bad. I quite liked how you looked right then, covered in blood and writhing in pain."

Shinji froze for a moment but balled up the red-stained cloth and tossed it on the ground, turning to the voice with a grimace.

"You know, you really are pretty damn inconvenient. Showing up unwelcome whenever and wherever you feel."

Avenger only grinned in response.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Shinji spoke lightly, scanning the area for any other threats but other than the inferno in front of them, they were alone. "Eight years now since I was subjected to your little ventriloquism act though now I must ask, is taking the form of that woman a necessity or just the way you get your kicks, Avenger?"

With not a hair out of place, the visage of Irisviel von Einzbern was just as the Matou had remembered from that night all those years ago, though the fact that he now stood a few inches above herit was a welcome change. Shinji hadn't heard any movement while he was in the vision so she must have come to form just now. The oppressive aura emanating from the corrupted Cup of Heaven throughout the cavern seemed to weaken as the cursed grail condensed it to create this corporeal body.

"I liked you better when you were a sniveling brat who barely knew his left from his right. I had wished that the two of you would have stayed just as cute as you were as children your whole lives but I suppose that was asking too much, though I fear that you have changed to be far more jaded than she has." The woman sighed in an overexaggerated fashion, grinning wider still when she saw Shinji's unamused expression. "Nonetheless, you are not entirely wrong with that sort of thinking, this form is one of many I can assume; it's just that the body of the Lesser Grail agrees most with me."

"Here I thought the depraved being that tormented children was also a pervert that enjoyed prancing around in the skin of someone's dead mother, glad to know that I was wrong." Shinji's tone was less than approving but he put his annoyance aside. "For what purpose have you decided to grace me with your unwanted presence?"

"Eh?"

With a completely unfitting cute cry, Avenger looked at the boy in shock with an expression of genuine confusion.

"You come barging into what is essentially my home and ask me what I am doing? You dripped blood about and threw up here!"

Shinji had the decency to look embarrassed at the complaints tossed at him. It wasn't the first time he had heard this spiel, though he really hoped it wasn't going to be a trend.

"Not to mention throwing your trash wherever you please. Really, after giving you those hints when you were a confused little kid, this is how I am repaid."

"All right, all right I get it. You can stop with the guilt-tripping." The boy sighed and scratched the back of his head, annoyed but not all that surprised at the bizarre situation. "Seriously I don't get you, one moment the embodiment of evil, another an annoying ball of energy."

Avenger ceased her admittedly cute pouting and took on a more calm expression, gesturing at the Greater Grail in front of them.

"That's because this is me, I don't only exist as one persona. The Irisviel von Einzbern who became stained in the mire of Angra Mainyu at the end of the Fourth Heaven's Feel is the same one that is in front of you, Shinji." The teenager's gaze softened a touch upon hearing the homunculus' fate. "Anything that has had the displeasure of being a container for this accursed ritual and having an ego they can call their own is taken in by the grail. This is only one of three identities that reside within me."

"…I don't suppose that one of those identities was a murdered little girl, was it?"

Shinji's face had taken on a pale shade after hearing the bit about multiple personas and honestly couldn't tell if either answer would make him feel any better.

"Murdered little girl?" Avenger placed a finger on her chin, gazing up in thought. "No, with the exception of the main persona, none of us suffered much in life and in the case of all of us, none of us were really killed. Death came as a natural end to our use as tools."

"I… I see. Fine then, forget it. Just tell me what you want and let me leave, I know that you don't have the power to do anything quite yet."

The corrupted spirit huffed. "Alright, rude as always. You know, that old-timer outside is right, you'll never find a lady with the way you act."

Shinji's eyes flared and his hand shot forward, clutching Avenger by the neck tightly.

"Keep them out of it, you bitch."

"Temper, temper. You should know that threatening a spiritual being like myself with physical violence is foolish though if it makes you feel any better, go right ahead."

Avenger seemed completely unaffected by the boy's actions, speaking as though she wasn't currently being choked. The woman was absolutely amused with him despite the situation, smirking as she gazed up into his eyes.

"Of course, you could always prove me wrong. I can see that you've learned some new tricks since I've last seen you." She lazily reached out and ghosted her fingers over the boy's own neck, feeling a thin, almost invisible band of scar tissue that stretched across his Adam's apple. Her grin deepened as Shinji's expression of anger bled into an annoyed grimace. "Yes, I can see for certain that you have the means to fight and not at all in the fashion that the others who share your blood have done so previously. I must admit, the thought of seeing something new like that after all these years of the same boring magecraft, it does sound rather entertaining."

The Matou's feelings of exasperation were slowly draining away due to the sight in front of him, the eyes of Avenger taking on a childish light as she smiled innocently back at him. The fact that she had touched him so tenderly, just like how she had during their first meeting was not lost on the boy. It only reminded him of the type of woman she was before her body was taken in by the Greater Grail, the curious and eccentrically positive Irisviel von Einzbern.

Knowing that the woman's true self was still there, underneath all this malice, was just as painful as it was comforting.

Letting out a labored sigh, Shinji released her neck and calmed himself. Getting into a confrontation now would just be stupid, he could wait a year.

If Avenger was disappointed, it wasn't apparent on her face. Her eyes still glimmered, though there was an edge to them now. "Glad that you can at least attempt to be civil, though really all you Matou are the same. That bloodthirsty fool during the Fourth and that insane woman from the Third, all mannerless brutes; only Makiri knew how to treat others, though I fear even that has faded away over the years."

With a snort, Shinji responded in kind. "As if you don't have your own share of problems, that old golem Acht is the only reason that you even exist. Fooling around with the system to get an edge yet failing all the same, it's that old fossil's fault that this ritual has fallen so far from its original purpose. You want to point out weeds in someone else's garden, start with your own."

Giving the Matou a peculiar look at his odd statement, Avenger cracked a genuine grin and giggled softly.

"You really are a peculiar one, Matou Shinji. I had cast off any relation to that old fool the moment I had become assimilated by All The World's Evils, though I admire your naïve belief that such attachment would continue in even a form such as this."

Shinji's eyes hardened at that and he had opened his mouth to say otherwise but decided against it; speaking back would only be for his own benefit.

Instead, he just shrugged and turned away from Avenger with a growl. "Enough with the games, say what you wish now or I'll just leave."

"Fine, fine," Avenger said, "the only reason I interrupted your… little show was due to my own curiosity. Tell me, boy, for what purpose do you seek the grail? Would it not be easier to just distance yourself from this conflict? You, better than most, know what awaits those that obtain such a thing, yet still you persist."

"…For my family. The thing that was most important to you, Irisviel, once upon a time. To think that you let all that fade away, continuing on existing even hollower now than when you were a homunculus."

Avenger's face contorted at that, a sliver of anguish piercing through the mask, and for a second, her form shifted to a shadowy outline but returned to the guise of Irisviel so fast Shinji wasn't sure he had seen that right. Her expression became stony after that, glaring at the teenager with unbridled fury and the Cup of Heaven in front of them acted in conjunction, shooting blackened flames high enough to light up the roof two miles above.

Shinji took that as his cue to leave, turning from Avenger and the now blazing Greater Grail to make his way down the rocky slope. It had already been far too long and Genkei was no doubt out there beside himself, regardless of Shinji's own insistence that he would be fine.

"You know," Avenger's voice called to him with a tinge of brutal satisfaction, as though privy to some terrible joke the teenager was unaware of, "I wasn't only talking about those visions of yours when I spoke of ghosts all those years ago. The Sakatsuki girl may not be a part of me but believe me, Matou Shinji, she is very much real. No matter how much you wish otherwise."

"What?" Shinji's blood froze and he twisted back to Avenger though just as she had eight years ago, the woman had disappeared.

"Coming from someone who places such significance on honoring your blood, such a cold reaction is really quite terrible, Shinji. I hope you won't act that way in front of her, it would be oh so cruel of you to turn your back on such an innocent girl." The boy could hear the bell-like chime of Avenger's giggles from all around, a pit forming in his stomach as the woman's scornful glee intensified at his expression. "Though I imagine that she's used to such things, you certainly wouldn't be the first. I'll tell you once more and I hope this time it sticks," the sickly-sweet whisper in his ear only caused the ice to spread further, "get used to ghosts, boy. After all, you of all people know of those that have met their demise due to this vile ritual. You truly think that those souls have passed on peacefully? Really now, your naivety must have its limits. The living are not the only ones who yearn for the grail, it is time that you finally realize that, fool."

Shinji fled from the cavern, wanting nothing more for the infernal voice of Avenger to be drowned out but her echoing laughter followed him long after he had left the room, remaining in the boy's mind no matter how much he tried to kill it.

---

"The hell happened in there, Shinji? It's been over an hour and- What happened to you? You look like you lost a fight with- Is that blood?" Genkei grabbed the boy's chin despite his protests and studied his face before growling once more. "Damn it, boy! I knew that it wasn't a good idea to take you here, the damn place is evil!"

"I am fine, old man! This is nothing, just a side effect of my being a dumbass. Don't worry about it, see, I'm absolutely unharmed."

Wrestling away from the temple elder's hold, Shinji showed Genkei that there were no actual wounds on his person though judging by the look on the Ryuudou's face, he wasn't convinced.

"Come on, you! We are heading back to the temple and you will be checked head to toe by Natsumi. Don't you dare try to weasel your way out of this, Shinji!"

With not even a moment to protest, Shinji found himself being carried as though he was a bag of rice over the shoulder of Genkei and the man rushed off towards Ryuudou Temple. Being completely bewildered dulled his normally sharp tongue and the teenager could only form sputtered complaints as he was manhandled.

"I- I have no- God damnit, slow down, Old man! I have no idea why you're getting so worked up, I am fine! Fine enough to walk on my own, at lea- Guh!" His tirade was cut short after a particularly steep drop and the wonderful sensation of Genkei's shoulder embedding itself in the space his gut usually took up.

"Keep that mouth of yours shut, Shinji. I do not have the patience to deal with it right now. You want to talk, we can do that after my wife checks you. I'm not dealing with a tragedy like that again, not with someone so young."

The two of them were only halfway up the mountain when the brush in front of them rustled and out came a familiar figure.

"Souichirou, the hell are-" Genkei stopped himself and shook his head. "Never mind, go back to the temple and tell Natsumi to prep a futon for Shinji and to grab her medicine bag… and to get the pouch on the family shrine."

Souichirou Kuzuki only nodded once and began to run back the way he had come, disappearing from sight after only a few moments.

As much as Shinji wanted to call out to the man to say he was fine, the hardened gaze of Genkei stopped him. Obviously, the man had his reasons for acting in such a way and even if the Matou didn't currently like how he was being dismissed, he knew that the Ryuudou patriarch was only doing this much because he cared about him.

The implied comment about how someone had apparently grown ill or worse after going into the resting place of the Greater Grail was not lost on the teenager.

The pair made it back to the courtyard of the Ryuudou Temple in record time and Genkei, still carrying Shinji, ran full tilt to his own private quarters.

"Natsumi! Are you ready in there? I've got Shinji with me now!"

Coming from behind the sliding door, Kuzuki waved them in. "Natsumi-san is prepared, Genkei-san, she had placed her medical supplies here only a moment ago and has the futon out. Bring Shinji-kun in, she will be back in a moment."

"Make that right now." Ryuudou Natsumi arrived right behind Shinji and Genkei with a brown leather pouch clutched in her right hand which she handed to her husband. She pushed past the two and started rummaging through her medicine bag. "Put Shinji-kun down and let me get a look at him, dear."

Before he could even attempt refusing the impromptu checkup, Shinji found himself on the futon with the retired nurse above him. He could at least try though, "Natsumi-san, I am fine, look at me-mrph!"

And was promptly silenced by the woman, placing one hand over his mouth while using the other to study his eyes with a flashlight.

"I'm sorry Shinji but you don't have any choice in the matter. This is for your own good. Just bear with it and if there is nothing I find then you can grumble all you want. Now stop the chatter and let me work."

Seeing that it was completely out of his hands, Shinji gave up and allowed Natsumi to continue though that didn't stop him from giving pointed glares at Genkei. The man of course ignored him, instead busying himself with opening the pouch and fiddling with whatever was inside. Kuzuki stood at the back of the room against the wall, taking the spot after being told to stay by Genkei, eyes flicking to the forms of the other occupants but stayed silent.

With Shinji's unwilling cooperation, the checkup was concluded quickly with Natsumi finding nothing wrong with the Matou.

"Other than your inflamed throat and irritated sclera, you seem to be completely fine, Shinji-kun. That bump on your head will go away by morning and there were no signs of concussion. I could see evidence of bleeding but there were no other wounds than that so I'm not too worried." Natsumi put the otoscope back in the medical bag and zipped it up, giving Genkei a sideways glance before continuing. "But that doesn't mean you're quite done yet."

"Doesn't mean I'm- Can someone explain what the hell is going on here?" Shinji's voice gave away how exhausted he was but that didn't mask the boy's annoyance.

"The short of it is that there is a chance that something happened to you in there, something that can and will end up killing you." The Ryuudou patriarch spoke close to a whisper but the steel in his words made it seem as though the man had shouted them, Shinji tensing at the severity. Genkei moved to the spot his wife had vacated, holding on to a set of peculiar prayer beads. The wooden beads were about half the size of a marble and were obviously old, signs of aging from the various tiny splits and imperfections throughout the one hundred and eight beads; the first bead, which was also the final, was triple the size of the others and had the kanji for Mion river, 未遠川, burned on its surface.

"And the long of it?" Shinji probed.

Genkei once again ignored the teenager, kneeling in front of him and beginning to rub the beads in between his hands filling the room with a soft grinding noise. The monk began to recite sutras rapidly, almost akin to an aria or the Church's Baptism Sacrament, and the boy could tell that magecraft was being used by how the air became charged with energy. Shinji could feel the magical energy coalescing on his body, forming a second skin over him before slowly being pulled from all angles to his core.

After a few minutes, the energy dissipated and Genkei both uttered his final phrase and stopped rubbing the prayer beads. It seemed to have taken a lot out of the man, seeing as he was now covered in a sheen of sweat and his breathing labored. Natsumi, being the ever-present dutiful wife, had grabbed a glass of water for her husband in the time she had been gone and the man gratefully accepted it.

Shinji sat up and waited for a moment, studying the couple for a few seconds to see if they had any more unwanted treatments they wanted to force on to him. Seeing that there wasn't, he turned his attention to the room's last occupant.

"A nurse, a monk, and a high school teacher, huh? So Kuzuki-sensei, what sort of unnecessary test are you going to give me to see if I am as a-ok as I claim?" The boy crossed his arms with a huff. "Gonna give me some extra homework?"

The man stayed silent though a snort brought Shinji's attention to Natsumi, who was putting away her medical supplies with hushed amusement.

"Alright, wise guy, we get it." Genkei had gotten his second wind and was now wiping away his sweat. "Sorry for just springing that on you but I'd rather be safe and quick on it than wrong. I didn't find anything but you sure are odd as can be, rather than looking for a needle in a haystack, it was the other way around. Instead of finding a sign that something had been done to you while you were down there, it was like you were alrea-" The man stopped mid-sentence and glanced back at the boy before shaking his head, an expression close to incredulity on his face. He rubbed his eyes and let out a deep sigh before speaking once more, sounding even more tired than before. "Nevermind that, just an old man seeing things. Only way to explain it. I'd say there'd have to be something wrong with you given the prayer I did on you but I for the life of me couldn't see what. Pay it no mind."

The Matou found Genkei's actions to be suspicious but just shelved that for later, crossing his arms and looking at the temple elder none too kindly ."So, am I going to get some explanations now or what?" His tone seemed a bit impatient and a tad hostile but really the boy just wanted to understand what was going on.

Genkei sighed and, upon getting a comforting rub on the back from his wife, began. "Well, you know that, up until recently, I was very against anyone going into the depths of Mt. Enzou. There is a reason for that; you aren't the first person to request about going there. Back when I was a child, I was told about the entrance to the spiritual heart of the mountain from my father but had never saw fit to go there myself. That is until I was asked about it by a family friend, Emiya Kiritsugu."

Shinji flinched upon hearing the Magus Killer's name come from the Ryuudou elder's mouth but managed to keep the couple from noticing.

"He was a relatively new resident of Fuyuki, only having come to the city after the Great Fire. He actually adopted one of the orphaned children from the disaster; you should know him since he is friends with Issei, Emiya Shirou." Natsumi added with a subdued smile.

"Yeah, I am familiar with Emiya." Shinji's clipped reply made it clear that there was nothing left to discuss about the boy.

"We had become acquaintances through Reikan and Fujimura Raiga's granddaughter, Taiga-chan, since the two had gone to school together and had become friends. The girl had dragged Kiritsugu anywhere and everywhere she could so it was only a matter of time before she brought him to the temple. I met the man only a few months after he had settled in Fuyuki and…" Genkei's voice petered off.

"He was already quite ill," Natsumi continued where her husband left off, "he hid it well but after years of working with terminal patients, you just get a feel for discerning such things. When I had asked him about it, he had only pushed aside any concerns stating that it was just something that he had gotten used to. For someone who was dealt such a bad hand in life, Kiritsugu was very graceful, humble in a way that only those that have lived their life to the fullest can be. Even with a failing body, the man never stopped his traveling, keeping with it to the very last few months he had left."

"…And it was during that time, two years ago and only a little after Souichirou-kun began living here… and your father's passing, that Kiritsugu asked me about the entrance to Mt. Enzou's depths." The temple head's voice softened at the mention of Byakuya but it was unnecessary, appreciated but unnecessary. "I had, at the time, thought that it was just going to be a simple trip showing off a spiritually rich area to our friend but once I had taken him to the opening in the mountain, that had changed. Kiritsugu had seemed oddly tense the whole way down to the entrance and it got much worse once we had made it there; I had only put up the illusion after this event so there was no buffer before we were assaulted by whatever vile presence was in there."

Shinji stayed silent, face void of emotion.

"We went inside the cave and heh, I made it twenty feet in before I couldn't take it." Genkei's laugh was hollow and self-deprecating, definite signs that he wanted nothing more than to end the story without going further but upon looking back at Shinji, he kept going. "Kiritsugu just told me to stay put and continued on, leaving me there for what seemed like hours. When he came back… you have to understand that Emiya Kiritsugu, even as strong in willpower as he was, was still a shell of a man for the time that I knew him. When he came back, it was as though even more was scraped away from him, leaving only the most basic of human instincts. He could walk and breathe on his own, just barely, but his eyes- They were empty, completely empty..."

The man hung his head and his shoulders trembled a bit, Natsumi tightened her hold on him with a sorrowful expression that was no doubt the same as the one on her husband's hidden face.

"The two of them came back to the temple barely lucid, as though they were in a trace though Genkei was much better off." Natsumi's voice came out low and it began to waver the longer she spoke. "Souichirou-kun was taking a walk at the time and had caught sight of the two hobbling up the mountain so he lent his body as a crutch for them and got them to me as fast as possible. Both Genkei and Kiritsugu were out cold by the time he dragged them into the temple and I-I had tried to treat them to fix whatever was wrong but no matter what I did, they-they wouldn't wake and their rest was fitful as though they were stuck in a nightmare. Kiritsugu… he-he was crying out, searching for someone unseen; I had never heard a person sound so broken…"

Genkei had composed himself while his wife was speaking so he took over, seeing as she was becoming overwhelmed. "Natsumi had us taken to her hospital where we were cared for but nothing of note was found regarding the cause of our fatigue. I came out of it alright, only being lightheaded for a few hours after I had awoken but Kiritsugu… The illness that had plagued Kiritsugu for the four years we had known him worsened drastically, within only a few days his limbs became lame and his eyesight begun to completely fail. Kiritsugu regained his sense of self almost immediately but he outright refused to speak on what, if anything, he had witnessed deep in that cavern. He… he passed away only a month later."

Shinji sighed and turned his eyes to the ceiling, a habit he had formed when thinking deeply. "I see. That's why you jumped on getting me here so fast and why you two had your own checks to do. You thought that the same could have happened to me."

"That and the fact that you were in there for so long. I wasn't able to tell how much time had passed while Kiritsugu went in deeper but Natsumi said that we couldn't have been gone for longer than forty-five minutes. Including the trek up and down the mountain, that left only around eight minutes we were down there; you were in the cave for more than an hour."

"Hmmm," Shinji hummed noncommittally before speaking once more, "and that illness, you don't know what it was but you could tell that it grew stronger after Emiya Kiritsugu went down there?"

"Illness no, we never were able to make sure, but don't play cute, boy." Genkei fixed his intense gaze on the teenager. "I know that you are aware of the supernatural world and recognize the effects of curses on the body. You come from the Matou, a magical family like the Tohsaka. Whatever had assaulted Kiritsugu's body for the last five years he was alive doesn't fit any curse I've ever heard of; the thing was more akin to a type of cancer. The only thing I know is that his condition was worsened drastically after going down there and I thought that something like that could have happened to you."

Genkei's logic was sound but Shinji knew that the supposed illness that Emiya Kiritsugu had was an intense curse from the grail, something that had coated every fiber of his being and left everything distorted. For the few curses that existed at that level, any cursebreaker would only be able to perceive it as the way his body had always been, there was nothing to purify since his body and soul had essentially been overwritten with his current state being the only thing left recorded. The fact that Emiya Kiritsugu had a normal body prior to the Fourth Holy Grail War didn't exist anymore; the Emiya Kiritsugu that was cursed by the grail replaced his past, present, and future.

Being in direct exposure to the very taint that stained him would only do more harm, though the man must have been aware of the risks.

"It's because I was already aware that I asked this of you. Believe me, if you were just an ordinary monk, I'd rather be annoying Issei with Reikan right now but I have my own reasons for doing this. Probably not the same as Emiya Kiritsugu but it was something I needed to do no matter what."

Natsumi tossed her hands in the air and got up from her seated position next to her husband, grumbling about bullheaded males, and made her way out, though not before Shinji hastily thanked her as she went through the door.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Genkei said, "I can only ask that you don't risk yourself unnecessarily, you have people here who care for you. Natsumi and I see you as part of the huge family that is the Ryuudou Temple and I know that Reikan and Souichirou-kun enjoy treating you like a younger brother." The man shook his head good-naturedly and grinned, eyes bright but colored with concern. "…Even Issei has told me that he's become worried about you and that boy, loath he admit it, sees you as one of his closest friends. I've already buried one too many Matou, no need for you to follow so soon."

Shinji got up from the futon and helped Genkei up with a small smile on his face. "I get that, and I appreciate it. I know you have my best interests at heart but there are some things that I can't turn away from. My father had asked me to live without regrets and I plan to uphold that promise, for him and the rest of my family. You all have been good to me for as long as I've known you so understand that I will try my best but…"

"I understand…" The elder let out a deep sigh and shook his head in jaded amusement. "Ah, even if you two are polar opposites, you still do remind me of Kiritsugu. His being reckless because he didn't have much more to live for and your recklessness because you have too much to live for. You both have a certain drive that I can't say many others can match." Genkei gave Shinji a meaningful look. "Just... be careful, for my old bones at least."

The Ryuudou patriarch stretched once he had made it to his feet before nodding to Kuzuki and turning to the door. "We've taken up enough of your time, Shinji. I'll walk you to the temple steps and Souichirou-kun will walk you home." Shinji hadn't even spoken up to say that an escort was unnecessary before he was interrupted. "No buts. You may not have been harmed but you definitely weren't untouched, you are tired and who knows what else so he will be going with you."

"I have no problem with this arrangement so do not worry about this being an inconvenience, Shinji-kun." Kuzuki patted the boy on the back with the same stoic expression on his face as usual though Shinji could tell he was trying to emulate a look of reassurance. "Come, it is already far too late."

Shinji gave in and the three made their way through the long hallway that led to the courtyard. The full moon illuminated the temple with an ethereal glow, a heavenly sight that masked the fact that the embodiment of every sin committed was two miles underneath it.

Shinji tried not to remind himself about what had transpired down there and turned to Genkei with a question that had been long stuck in the back of his head. "I had been meaning to ask you ever since I found out, does Issei know about the Ryuudou being a family of Ommyoudou practitioners? I can't imagine Reikan was left in the dark that long after he became a monk, what with all the training that you put the men here through."

"Ah, that." The temple head scratched the back of his head. "Well, really other than a select few, the only training that the monks go through at our temple is just standard martial arts though a specialized version that has been passed down the Ryuudou family ever since this temple has stood. Anything akin to demon and oni subjugation, that kind of thing rarely happens nowadays. The sutras I chanted with the family prayer beads were the first time that I had ever attempted Ommyoudou in an active sense. Don't get me wrong, I've practiced all throughout my life but really, the only reason that people come to temples in this day and age is to give offerings, not seek refuge from the supernatural. That was only a simple purification spell and is really nothing of note so don't go thinking I'm capable of anything spectacular or that the Ryuudou were blessed by the dragon god in that story." He paused and glanced back where his family's dwelling was in the temple. "But Issei, huh. Reikan has known ever since he became a monk, just as you thought, and I plan the same for Issei as well. There is no need to fill the boy's mind with things that he won't ever have to worry about, prepare him for things he won't ever encounter." The man turned back to Shinji and grinned. "Why do you think it was only Souichirou-kun, Natsumi, and I who were there when you were getting checked on? Reikan was keeping his brother occupied during the time, though I'm not exactly sure it was worth it."

"What makes you say that?"

Genkei tossed his head back with a grimace. "The damn brat made me promise to set aside an entire bottle of Devil King for him, the drunkard! Really, you'd think that the son of a temple head would act accordingly instead of making the other monks his drinking buddies."

Kuzuki wisely stayed quiet as he was one of the notorious drinking buddies.

The trio reached the torii without much fanfare, as Shinji and Genkei were quite drained from the long night. Genkei himself looked especially tired, having carried the teenager up the mountainside and then performing magecraft on him, though he still managed to grin at the boy once they had stopped at the beginning of the steps.

"Well then Shinji, this is going to be it for me, I'm wiped. Natsumi is probably going to take my ear off for overexerting this old body of mine but that's alright. Just glad that you came out of this fine."

"Thanks, old man. Still think it was absolutely unnecessary but it means a lot."

"Good night, boy." Genkei ruffled Shinji's long blue hair, making it splay out in front of his eyes and causing the Matou to let out a groan of annoyance. He turned to Kuzuki as the teenager began to fix his hair. "Get him there safely, Souichirou-kun."

The stoic man nodded to the Ryuudou elder and with that, Genkei began his way back to the temple, one hand waving to them as his back was turned.

---

The walk down the stairs, something that Shinji had gotten used to over the five years of visiting the Ryuudou Temple, was exceptionally tiring tonight. It had just past midnight when they had parted ways with Genkei. It hadn't taken any longer than usual, no thanks to Kuzuki and his inability to understand fatigue and the importance of breaks, but he could feel the side effects from using his eyes; the labored breathing, the gigantic headache he was now suffering through, and the fact that his entire body felt like a bruise.

Thankfully, it was over and there was only a straight shot to the Matou manor.

Kuzuki had been silent the entire walk, only glancing back at the boy every once in a while to make sure he was still behind him. Something that would normally be seen as a sign of indifference but Shinji knew better, it's just the way the man was. Anything he did had a purpose, he never wasted a single movement or a single thought. Every single thing he did drew results.

But that wasn't the case for Shinji.

"From what I heard from the old man, you've known about the Ryuudou being Ommyoudou practitioners and users of magecraft even before I did."

Kuzuki stayed silent.

"Here I thought I was privy to a secret but hearing you knew it too does put a damper on it. I imagine that learning about such a thing so shortly after you became a resident of the temple was a shock, huh?"

Still, the man walked without an outward sign of acknowledgement to Shinji's words.

"…You do realize that a conversation requires two people to work, don't you?"

"Apologies, I had only thought you were thinking aloud, Shinji-kun." Souichirou Kuzuki finally addressed the boy speaking to him.

Shinji sighed but couldn't find it in him to be annoyed. This was how many of their conversations went.

The relationship between Matou Shinji and Souichirou Kuzuki was an odd one but to make that distinction would imply that Kuzuki's other relationships were normal.

They were not.

It was just that the two understood each other in a way that many didn't. Kuzuki was a reactionary type of person, the kind that pondered silently and measured every choice no matter how small, and Shinji was an action type, one who initiated his actions whenever he pleased and was the first to come to a decision; a pair at odds though that is what made them so comfortable with each other. While many would see the silent, unapproachable stoic of a man that was Souichirou Kuzuki at face value and avoid him, Shinji was not deterred by any of that. In fact, the boy was one of the reasons, other than Genkei, that Kuzuki was accepted so quickly by the monks once he began living there due to Shinji wanting to get to know him. It was all under the pretense of finding out if the man was a threat, magus or otherwise, and Kuzuki could tell that but it was because the boy was so open with his intentions that the usually indifferent man found a sense of kinship with the child. The way he was raised and trained had created the warped perception that he had towards the rest of humanity which is why Kuzuki only understood people by their intentions and actions, not their emotions. By interacting with others constantly over the past few years, Kuzuki was able to gain a sense of humanity by no small part of the Ryuudou and Shinji and the man, for the first time in his life, could say that he felt gratitude.

The man still didn't completely integrate with societal conventions though, to the annoyance of many.

Kuzuki waited a moment for Shinji to reach him so they could walk side by side before speaking. "A surprise… I would say so but there is much that exists in this world without my knowledge. It had not mattered at the time, when I was assisting Genkei-san and Emiya-san, so I had easily put it aside."

Both of the boy's eyebrows raised at the man's flippancy. "Hah, so even something as unbelievable as magic doesn't shock you."

"…I don't think there is much in this world that could truly surprise me, Shinji-kun. Especially if I am explained to what it was shortly after like Genkei-san saw fit to. It had only been a few hours after he had awoken in the hospital that he had told me about such things in detail."

There was a break in the conversation as the two made a turn, now only a few minutes away from the Matou residence.

"I have to ask though, has your perception of me changed, knowing that I am a part of the supernatural world?"

Kuzuki's eyes were obscured by his glasses but Shinji could tell that the man had heard him and was thinking to himself.

"…Things like that have no meaning for someone like me. If you are looking for someone to rebuke you for the way that you live, I cannot be that person. The way that you decide to shape your fate is not something that I can criticize, not when I have lived the life I've lived. Both you and Genkei-san know of my past, yet you accept me; it would be remiss for me to not do the same." The man's voice reflected none of the sentiments of his words but Shinji could see that Kuzuki was attempting, in his own way, to show his acceptance.

Shinji turned his attention from Kuzuki to the street ahead, the Matou manor now in sight, with a grin.

"You know, you and old man Ryuudou really are softies." He paused for a moment. "Well, you less so but the point still stands." Shinji nodded and looked up at the night sky. "Thanks, Kuzuki-san, I'll try to pay you back for all this."

The pair had reached the front gates of the manor and the soft chittering of the crest worms could be heard now.

"No need. Only keep yourself in good health, I'd rather not have a repeat of tonight. Good night, Shinji-kun."

"Same to you. Be safe on the way back to the temple."

Kuzuki nodded with a certainty that only made the Matou's smile grow; as if there was a single thing in Fuyuki City that would be a threat to a man who was trained his entire life to kill. The two turned away from each other and went on their way.

---

There was no one awake on the first floor.

Shinji had to make that distinction due to the fact that Sakura was currently asleep in the dining room. Shinji had been prepared to just head straight upstairs and shower before going to bed but had noticed the girl laying with her head cradled atop her arms, slumbering next to an untouched plate of food.

"Really now, you knew that I was going to be out for most of today. Foolish girl." Shinji muttered.

The teenager walked up to the girl and lightly shook her shoulder to wake her but was unsuccessful, hearing her snores grow louder in response. He contemplated just waking her up completely but glanced at the plate that she had prepared for him and back at the deeply slumbering Sakura with an exasperated sigh.

She really was more trouble than she was worth.

"Alright, up you go." Shinji managed to get the sleeping girl onto his back without rousing her and began to make his way through the foyer and up the stairs, trying his absolute best to make the trip as smooth as possible.

Having made it to the top of the steps, Shinji made his way to Sakura's room and opened the door.

The room was still the same to no one's surprise. Shinji navigated through it easily even without the lights on, dodging the chabudai in the middle of the room and managing to not trip on the floor cushions as he made it to her bed. The Matou tossed her sheets to the side and deposited Sakura as gently as he could before haphazardly pulling the covers over her.

"Pain in my ass but I can't get too mad. Who wouldn't want a girl waiting up for them to come home?" Shinji saw that she now had a small content smile on her face as she snuggled into her pillow. "I take points off for cooking though, you are absolutely awful at it."

Shinji made his way to leave but stopped and turned back to Sakura, lightly ghosting his hand over her forehead.

It was warm, nothing out of the ordinary which was good.

He walked to her desk, taking care not to knock into anything on the way there, and quietly opened a small pouch that sat at the back of the desk. Inside were five gemstones, each a different type, all of which had a spiderweb of cracks originating from their center with the exception of the sapphire, still pristine and polished, which glowed dimly in the dark room.

"Used up four, huh. Should be good for the rest of the month with this one but let's not risk it." Shinji returned the sapphire into the pouch and put it back on the desk where it had been.

Now completely done with the room, Shinji made his way out and closed the door to Sakura's room softly behind him. Finally safe from the threat of waking the girl, the teenager went back down to the dining room where both his school bag and the plate Sakura had prepared him were sitting.

Shinji considered tossing out the food.

Grumble

And then grimaced.

"Fine then, I'll eat it. Kinda regret picking today to overexert myself. Maybe drowning it in salt will help."

"Never thought you to be one ungrateful to a homecooked meal, Shinji-kun."

Shinji would have flinched if he wasn't used to the old magus appearing out of nowhere regularly. With a sigh, he turned to his Grandfather, "I know that your taste buds have long since gone but mine haven't. I don't even care for taste most of the time yet still her food manages to push me away."

Zouken chuckled a bit and sat down at the table, gesturing for Shinji to do the same.

"You were with those Ryuudou today were you, Shinji-kun? I noticed that you were accompanied by someone when you returned though they didn't look like a monk."

Settling into his seat, the boy responded with a nod. "That man is just a resident there by the goodwill of the head monk, no real relation to them other than the fact that he lives in the temple."

"I see… I'll thank you for taking care of Sakura-chan, I'd have done it myself but I fear that magecraft would have woken her."

Shinji shook his head and glanced back down at the plate. "…That girl is hopeless, she knows that I have dinner with the Ryuudou when I go to the temple. There was no need to do something like this, why bother wasting the time cooking this up for me?"

"I imagine she wanted to spend some time with you."

"…"

The wizened magus gave Shinji a look over once the boy had become silent and noted his rather unkempt appearance.

"Will you tell me what led to your looking so haggard at this time of night?"

Shinji let out a small scoff leading the Matou patriarch to glare at the boy. "Nothing that really needs addressing, only something to satisfy my own curiosity. What does need addressing is Sakura's supply of gemstones."

Zouken blinked. "Ah, so the girl has gone through her store of them this quickly… Well then, is that task not up to your discretion? Are you not the one who came up with the solution of gemstones for Sakura's magical energy needs?"

"Sure but I was only informing you that I will be contacting the Edelfelt later on today. While you don't balance checkbooks, your habit of looking through our finances is made easier to deal with if you know when and where large sums of money are going."

Grandfather gave a hum of approval before turning away from the teenager and glancing back up the stairs where Sakura was sleeping.

"There is only a little over a year and a half until the beginning of the Fifth Heaven's Feel, I imagine that the other families have gathered their catalysts and begun their own preparations for the ritual. From what I've gathered, those fools at the Mage's Association have only just realized the ritual is upon us though I suppose not having the knowledge that how the Greater Grail functions isn't entirely their fault." The ancient Matou's voice came out so low that it could scarcely be heard but even he hadn't been listening Shinji knew exactly what the man was going to say. "I know not what the Einzbern are up to, only that the daughter of Emiya Kiritsugu will be their chosen master. Tell me, have you spoken with her brother as of yet? The boy has a chance of becoming a master as well."

"It is exactly for that reason that I want nothing to do with him. Emiya Kiritsugu was a mess, I'd rather not weigh my chances with that idiot's son. I have yet to speak with him now and I don't plan to change that anytime soon. Illyasviel shows much more promise though I am not exactly looking for friends in masters."

"And the Tohsaka girl, what of her?"

This time Shinji barked out a loud laugh, turning to his grandfather with a rueful grin. "Exactly, what of her? The girl only has her born talent to rely on and that will be her own downfall. As a Tohsaka, she has reason to think highly of herself but it's clear that she only feels that way because that unworthy pride has yet to be challenged. She is already overly confident in her ability due to being the Second Owner, that fact that she knows nothing of the nature of the grail proves to me that she is entirely unprepared."

Zouken stayed silent for a moment, studying his grandson before speaking. "You are awfully confident for one that has no such talent themselves. I must ask once more, do you truly wish to participate? I can easily make it so that Sakura is the combatant, the girl easily has the stores to support a servant and fight as a magus. Making her compliant seems to be a far simpler task than what you are attempting."

"She is to be your own Lesser Grail, you really want to risk her being harmed or worse before she is ready?" The boy shook his head. "It's fine, I had grown up thinking that I was going to be the Matou master by my own innate ability, to do this now, with or without Magical circuits, is my duty as the blooded heir to the family."

"I have my own means to keep the girl safe, though I cannot promise the same for you." The elderly Matou continued to stare at the teenager but nodded all the same. "If you are sure, we will continue with preparations for you to take over as master once Sakura has summoned her servant."

Zouken stood up from his seat and began to leave the room before Shinji spoke up once more, voice soft with an air of uncertainty. "Tell me, Grandfather, is it possible for the grail to bring back souls of those that are dead?"

The tapping of his cane stopped and the old magus glanced back at Shinji, yellow eyes glowing with a calculating gleam. "Hmmm… that feat is even something that even the Magics cannot perform, though the grail is a means for reaching the Root so such a thing is possible, ultimately useless since the Third Magic would be required to join that soul with its new body. Why do you ask, Shinji-kun? Surely you do not think we would waste such a resource as the Holy Grail for such a fruitless task?"

The boy shook his head. "No. Not in that capacity, I am asking about the grail as it is, just as it uses the magical energy complied over half a century to fuel the summoning of seven servants, is it possible for the grail to bring back human souls just the same as heroic spirits? Or rather hold on to the departed before their souls are able to pass on, like wraiths?" Shinji said this with his eyes trained on the plate in front of him, refusing to look his grandfather in the eyes.

"Such a thing…" Zouken fell silent for a moment as he pondered his descendant's question. "The Heaven's Feel ritual was never designed for fueling such things though I suppose that if there was an abundance of mana it would theoretically be possible though only if there was an intent behind it. The ritual works the way it does because it follows a set of rules and commands that we three gave it, there is no way for outside stimuli to change such things unless the grail is actualized and used for its intended purpose as a wish granter or as a path to Akasha. Conceptualizing spirits, while unlikely, isn't outside the bounds of reality given the circumstances."

"...I see. That is the only thing I wished to ask you, Grandfather. Have a good night."

Zouken paused a moment, silently pondering Shinji's words before turning back to the teenager. "…Is there any reason that you believe that the ritual will be changed in such a fashion?"

Matou Shinji met the eyes of Makiri Zolgen with a grimace, an unflinching shine in his gaze just as intense as the ancient magus'. "I don't know Grandfather, is there something that I am unaware of about the grail?"

Both knew the other was aware of the corrupted state of the Greater Grail though they only had suspicions of the extent of the other's knowledge. It was something that Shinji knew he would never be able to hide, not with the Matou patriarch's knowledge of his Pure Eyes. Just knowing the boy was able to look into the past was evidence enough. The fact that Grandfather had never brought up that Avenger was able to come to form whenever and wherever it pleased was not lost on the boy though Shinji knew he was treading on thin ice. Asking about the dead coming back from the grail was going to catch the attention of the old magus but he had to know if it hadn't just been Avenger messing with him.

Grandfather studied the teenager once more, before smirking to himself and turning away to the stairs. "Heh heh ha, good night to you as well, my boy." He walked up to the second floor without looking back but Shinji couldn't shake the feeling he dodged a very dangerous bullet.

As much as he hated to admit it, Grandfather laughing was not a good sign in any manner.

Shinji exhaled loudly, slumping in his chair as the weight of today came crashing back down on him.

The trip to the Greater Grail, the visions he witnessed while he was down there, the fact that Avenger still saw fit to do anything in its power to derail any and all of his plans, Genkei's past with Emiya Kiritsugu, and now the fact that Grandfather wasn't even aware of everything in a ritual that he handcrafted.

With a groan, Shinji let his head hit the table and was met with the sound of a plate clinking.

Oh yeah, how could he forget? Add eating Sakura's abysmal cooking to the list.

---

July 11th 2002

"Shinji… Shinji… Damn it, listen to me, you idiot!"

The cries of Ryuudou Issei were a common occurrence to the student body of Homurahara High School, doubly so if you a first-year like he was, and triply so if your name was Matou Shinji.

At least it felt that way to Shinji.

"Shi- Pardon me. Shinj- Excuse me. Shinji- Damn it, all of you get out of my way!" With that roar from the normally strait-laced Student Council member, the crowded hallway filled with students on their way to lunch scattered, leaving a wide berth between Issei and the still retreating Shinji.

Shinji took another step before he was grabbed from behind by his blazer and he let out a groan of pure annoyance. Yesterday had been taxing and it looked like the teenager wasn't going to get any respite today.

"Shinji, what is this I hear about you not wanting to go visit Emiya in the hospital?"

"Great, so you heard. Glad to know that's out of the way, well I'll be on my way now." Shinji attempted to pull away from the grasp of Issei but apparently, the Ryuudou's grip was a lot more formidable than he had previously thought. The Matou only had himself to blame for that, having trained with Issei himself; he would have been proud if it wasn't for the fact that the bastard was using that strength against him.

"Fujimura-sensei came to me crying that one of her star club members didn't want to visit him with the rest of the Kyudo Club. Why she thought that I was the person to bring this to I have no idea but she is right to be upset! What will the rest of the club think when a role model like yourself is missing, what will Emiya think? Consider the feelings of others, you villain!"

"Those were crocodile tears, you ass! Besides, it's not any of my business to visit Emiya. I was never friends with him and I don't plan to be, we're only part of the same club. Now get your hands off me!"

As Shinji struggled to get away from Issei, he could see that the two of them were becoming something of an attraction with how the rest of the student body was watching them. He even thought he saw Rin in the back, giggling at his expense, the bitch.

"Be that as it may, you have a duty to care for your fellow students and I will not allow you to shirk from this responsibility. Come, we will tell Fujimaru-sensei that you will show up at the hospital to visit Emiya with all the other members of the Kyudo Club after school."

Shinji made to reply, not exactly sure what he was going to say, only that it was going to be filled with expletives when he felt someone other than Issei touching him.

With expert skill, Shinji's arms were deftly pulled out from his blazer and he was liberated. Issei was just as confused as he was, one second having Shinji in his grasp, then next only being left with a blazer. Shinji turned to thank the person when he was pulled away from the hallway by the arm, the two disappearing just as quickly as the Matou had been freed.

Shinji could hear the howl of indignation coming from Issei though he couldn't be sure that it wasn't a train whistle instead, the two just sounded too alike. The person that had saved him was apparently leading him somewhere and before long Shinji found himself on the school's roof, alone with his rescuer.

He couldn't help but grin despite himself. This was so like her.

Mitsuzuri Ayako grinned back at him, taking out her earphones and bubbling with laughter.

"Haha, did you see the look on his face! Ah, pure gold, Shinji!"

"Sure, sure. You do realize that I'm out of uniform now? If Issei wasn't already on my ass, he is now."

"Don't sweat the small stuff, you'll be fine. Now then come on, I didn't bail you out just to look at your dopey face. Bring out the goods."

As the pair sat down for lunch, Shinji muttered something about extorsion under his breath but opened his sack lunch and fished around for what Ayako was looking for. Tossing it to her, Shinji's face took on an amused expression as the girl fawned over the wrapped sweets.

"I've been waiting all day for this! These Finnish chocolates are to die for, Shinji."

The Matou watched as the girl popped one of the candies in her mouth and then melted from the flavor before repeating the cycle two more times.

"How cute."

Ayako turned to him, affronted but that didn't stop her from savoring the last bite of chocolate before speaking her mind. "Shut it, you seaweed-headed ass. I like to enjoy myself as opposed to being broody like you do."

"Being dragged around by someone like you all the time leads to being tired all the time, exhibit A." Shinji gestured to himself before continuing, "But enough about that, tell me what you were up to yesterday. You already know I was with Issei and his family as usual."

The girl began to eat from her own lunch, pausing every once in a while to speak. "I dragged Minori to the arcade since you were gone the entire time after school and we spent most of the afternoon there. Even if he acts like he hates it every time I take him, once my brother drops the sulking, he's a pretty good player two. Nothing compared to you but I doubt there is anyone around here who is as good as you are."

Shinji waved a hand in the air dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. You're just trying to butter me up so that I go with you next time."

Ayako slammed her bento box down with a clatter and pointed her chopstick at the Matou in an almost threatening manner. "I wish! You're so infuriating to play with since you're really that good! All without trying too! The fact that you had never played a video game before I had taken you to an arcade and still managed to beat me in Street Fighter annoys the hell outta me." She stabbed her chopsticks into a cherry tomato and started creating a makeshift kabab with the rest of her lunch. "You know, you could go pro with your skill if you actually tried."

Shinji ignored the rather amusing display of Ayako's interesting lunch mannerisms and tried to imagine a world where he was a professional video gamer, almost instantly finding the idea absurd.

Francis Drake would sooner be found out to have been a woman than the chance of Shinji taking up such a profession.

"Maybe in another life, Ayako. I don't think I have nearly enough free time to indulge in something like that."

The Matou pulled out a sandwich from his sack lunch and began to eat it as Ayako did the same with her completed skewer and for a moment the two silently ate. Though that was interrupted just as quickly by Ayako who turned back to the boy, remembering something.

"Speaking of free time, Shinji, when do you think we can visit-"

The boy didn't even let her finish, knowing what she was asking, and had already begun to shake his head. "Not anytime soon, you know that most of them will be out of town till next summer, college or otherwise. We can arrange a visit then but you know how busy each of them gets with their schedules. It still surprises me that idiot can manage to balance the workload of college classes with his gallivanting across the globe, on his final year too."

"Well, what about just seeing the ones who-"

"Denied. Unless Sensei decides to randomly drop in or Hime-sama comes back to her castle, there are only those two that will be there looking over the place, the good one and the evil bitch. And the longer I can spend without seeing her, the better." There was already a bitter taste in his mouth just by mentioning that syringe-wielding psycho. "Plus, I'm sure the feeling is mutual."

Ayako raised an eyebrow. "...You know calling them by those nicknames is probably one of the reasons that you guys don't like each other. It worked when we had only known them for the better part of a week, now all of us have been friends for over two years."

Shinji gave the girl an amused grin. "Me and Hime-sama, we didn't exactly see eye to eye at the beginning, and back then, I was doing it to piss her off. Now though, we just like needling each other, it's the way we show our affection. She likes our banter just as much as I do, tough love and all that mess."

"Yeah well, don't think calling someone 'evil bitch' is all that endearing."

"In her case, not a nickname. And anyway, trip's not gonna happen until next summer at the earliest."

Ayako let out a groan of discontent as she tossed her body back, laying flat on the roof. "Ugh, waiting till next year is so long from now! It doesn't help that the last time we visited was for the graduation celebration two years ago."

"Well, things were hectic for them the past two years, which is why they told us to wait. That idiot managed to get hit by a car and be concussed during the summer one year and then another string of murders the year after, there was just too much going on. I'm fine with waiting until things are peaceful, I'd rather not have a repeat of that particular field trip."

The girl didn't respond though she did turn her head to look at Shinji, giving him a complicated expression that the boy was unfortunately familiar with.

"Fine, fine. I get it, that was mostly my fault."

"Just as long as you admit it." Her voice was even despite the rather intense glare she leveled at him, her eyes lingering notably on the teenager's neck and abdomen. "You being a dumbass and getting yourself hurt like that should be something you never forget but I guess not everyone is born with common sense."

With the mood of lunch being thoroughly squashed, the two quietly finished up their meals with Ayako pointedly not making eye contact with Shinji.

Shinji thought about attempting to clear the air but the girl always got moody when that specific event was brought up and honestly, the chances of him digging an even deeper hole trying to get out of this one was a bit too high for his liking. Hopefully, she would let off some steam during the rest of today's classes and he wouldn't have to worry about it.

Shinji made to leave the roof when he was grabbed from behind by his shirt. For the second time in an hour.

"Do you mind?" He didn't bother turning to look Ayako in the face, eyes still set forward towards the roof's exit. "Didn't like it when it was Issei yanking on me and still don't, you being a girl doesn't change that."

"Nope, I just remembered the other reason I needed to pull you aside. Fujimura-sensei told me you didn't want to see Emiya in the hospital. It's funny that you think you have a choice."

The words the girl spoke were already clipped but the fact that she was angry with Shinji even before broaching this topic tripled the venom in her voice.

"I've told Taiga-san and Issei that I don't care to visit and you already know that I don't like Emiya to begin with. It would just be an inconvenience to mess with all the good feelings the rest of the Kyudo club is trying to give him if I go. I'm sure that Emiya doesn't care either." Ayako tsked behind Shinji but he pretended not to hear it. "Besides, I have something important to do after school anyway."

Once again, he tried to pull away from the person holding on to him but this time he was noticeably gentler. Ayako, of course, took advantage of that and pulled even harder.

"Well, I don't care how either of you feels about it. We are a club for a reason, and that means that we care for each other even if some of the members can be absolute jackasses most of the time." She had been speaking with a level tone up till this point but the more Ayako spoke, the more the girl's anger bled into her voice. "If you don't go, you'll be the only one in the entire club who didn't and that will look bad on both the club and Fujimura-sensei. Plus, I have no idea why you even have a problem with Emiya; you've never even spoken more than three words to him!"

"I already know that I will never be able to like a guy like that." Despite the rising intensity in Ayako's voice, Shinji stayed completely calm. Answering the girl in an almost disinterested fashion. "Chalk it up to male bravado, me just being an asshole, or hell, even me having a crush on the bastard and being shy. Just understand that I want nothing to do with him."

"I don't give a damn! Stop being an insufferable ass for once and just do it!"

"Ayako, I said no."

"Shinji!"

"Enough, let me go."

"…"

The hand that was holding on to the back of his shirt slackened its grip, freeing Shinji. The Matou began to make his way off the roof when he heard Ayako respond, her voice almost a whisper.

"You're doing it again. I thought you promised to at least try…"

Shinji froze at those words.

He could hear Ayako slowly walk past him to the door to the stairwell and with each step she took, the teenager was pulled deeper into his memories, to the day he made that promise to her.

"...It's a pinky promise which means you can't break it no matter what, got it?"

No matter what...

"I guess after all this, I owe you that much, huh?"

"...Fine."

The footsteps halted.

"I'll go to the stupid hospital."

There was a beat of silence and no one moved but only for a second.

Shinji let out a grunt of pain as Ayako roped an arm around his neck and yanked his head down to her level with a grin.

"That's more like it!" The girl burst out with glee. "Come on, let's go tell Fujimura-sensei the good news!"

"I still have something to do before that I can't- Ow, dammit woman! Stop pulling me around by my neck, I can walk there without you tugging me around like a damn toy!"

"Nope!"

---

Having a cellphone was probably breaking some taboo of magus families but even if Shinji was capable of magecraft, he probably still would have one. Getting Grandfather to agree to get one had been almost more of a battle than his request that Father be buried; whether that spoke more to the Matou patriarch's traditionalist mindset or his hatred of Byakuya, Shinji didn't know. He rarely called using it, only having six numbers saved and two of those were Ayako's and Sakura's numbers; he talked to a few more people than that but didn't care to hold on to their numbers or in one specific case, refused to save their number. For him, the cellphone was more for others to get in contact with him not the other way around but of the few calls he did make, they were almost always regarding business.

"It's been a while since you've called, stranger."

"Unfortunately, it's not to catch up. I would have liked that but something came up. Good morning by the way. It's seven over there, right? I hope that I didn't wake you."

Shinji had decided to skip the last bit of his final class of the day and hide out in the archery range so he could get his call in without interruptions. Since it was a quarter after three in the afternoon right now, he had about ten minutes to himself before the rest of the Kyudo Club would congregate here and then begin their trip to the hospital.

"Thank you for considering that but you know that I am an early riser, Shinji, unlike my sister. Nonetheless, your manners are always appreciated, and good afternoon to you as well. Now then, what can I do for you?"

"I need to make another purchase of your family's jewels, Ylänea. It seems that our latest supply is running dry faster than we expected and we'll need a replacement sooner rather than later." **

"Another? Shinji, this will be the fourth one you purchased in the past six months. Our jewels are packed with an amount of magical energy comparable to the entire output of several high-level magus, what could you possibly be using them for, for you to run out of them so fast?"

Shinji let out a sigh but stayed quiet for a moment. He needed to word this in a way that wouldn't arise suspicion though he doubted that Ylänea or the other Edelfelt would care for his reasons, they were a business before anything else. Still, making a plausible excuse was preferable to letting another magus family know that he was essentially using their family magecraft as magical batteries for Sakura.

"Grandfather and I have taken to training Sakura a bit more intensely, both for her own good and the fact that the Fifth Heaven's Feel is to take place in a year. We want to prepare her as well as we can for it so I imagine that these purchases will become more frequent the closer we get to it."

"Shinji, I know that you can lie better than anyone else I've ever known but if there is one thing you can't fool me on, it's my family's magecraft. It's fine if you don't want to tell me or can't, so long as you have the money I can't complain. You have your reasons so I won't pry."

"…Saw through me, huh. Not the same gullible little sister anymore."

He could almost hear the girl's grin through the phone.

"Of course, I'm not the same seven-year-old that fell for all your wily tricks in the academy. Honestly, I have no idea why I would even get in the way of yours and Luvia's little spats, you were a crooked rascal even back then."

"Even back then? Ylänea, you wound me."

This time he could hear her softly giggle into the receiver.

"I'll get everything in order on my end and a courier should arrive within the week." Shinji could faintly make out the sound of a note being scribbled out. "The Matou account should be billed a little later today."

"…Do you mind-"

"And yes, I'll send some of those Finnish chocolates with the gems."

"Thanks, Ylänea. You're a lifesaver."

"I know I am, though, excuse me for a second." There was a small bit of shuffling and then a satisfied hum from the other end of the line. "That's better, no need for my glasses if we're done talking business. Now then, how are you doing, Shinji?"

"Fine, busy as usual."

"Need a bit more than that."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "What, do you want an itemized list of the things I've been up to?" He didn't hear a verbal response but the boy could tell that his reply has annoyed the younger twin. "I'm sure you're already aware, I'm occupied with the usual headaches like trying to get any correspondence from London and Russia as well as getting ready for the Fift-"

"That's not what I asked." Ylänea softly sighed, her tone slightly displeased but not surprised. "Not what you're doing but how you're doing. Even though I don't mind listening to the various ways you've decided to waste away your youth, I'd like to hear how one of my oldest friends has been since I last heard from him. As in feelings and all that other mushy stuff." She paused again as if expecting an interruption but continued, voice softer and more meaningful. "I know that you're used to dealing with these sorts of things on your own but it's okay for you to have someone lend their ear to lessen that burden, alright?"

The Matou was about to answer back with a firmer "I'm fine." but stopped himself. Just like before with Ayako, he was purposefully being distant. There was a reason for it, in his eyes a very good reason but it made sense that Ylänea was worried about him like this. After all, isn't that what friends do?

Of course, something like that was impossible for him.

Being twisted like this, hateful and secretive was something that was exclusive to those of the Matou blood. Getting too close, too comfortable around the very few who he considered friends was just asking for disaster.

Shinji had already seen the path of ruin that Zouken, the third Matou master, and Kariya had wrought when they left their own dark, possessive nature unchecked. The teenager was more than aware of what he was capable of.

"...I won't lie and say everything is fantastic for me right now but I'm surviving." With a gentle curve to his lips, the Matou heir lightly thumped his chest. "Nothing I can't handle and nothing that you should be worried about, Ylänea. Honest."

The girl sighed again, though this time markedly more amused than troubled. "Alright fine, macho man. I'll believe you just this once."

"Thank you. And I appreciate it, being concerned for me like this."

"You being irresponsible is something I've been intimately aware of ever since we were children, by now it's almost second nature so don't mention it. Now then, is there anything else that you wanted from me?"

Shinji paused at the question and deliberated for a second, ultimately deciding to ask.

"Tell me Ylänea, you and Luvia still have no desire to take part in the Holy Grail War, or has that changed?"

"Hmmm…" The Finnish magus took a moment to compile her thoughts. "For Luvia, she has said before that she wants to make up for our family's showing during the Third Holy Grail War and get back at the Tohsaka but I know that she is more than satisfied waiting to the side and watching them fail on their own instead. She really is too preoccupied with her own studies and training to warrant participation and I doubt that Father would allow her to even if she wished. And you know that I have no interest in such a thing, I am content enough with the life I am currently living. That and I couldn't bear to leave my fiancé in such a position if I were to fail."

The boy nodded. "I have to say, I'm happy to hear that. I'd rather not have either of you put in such a dangerous position. I know from experience that you two are more than capable but even still, this mess of a ritual has way more risk than reward and not even the survivors come out unscathed. The current head of the El-Melloi family is the only outlier and even then I hear he's less than pleased to be saddled with the title." The Matou heir allowed a small, relieved smile to grace his features. "I know it sounds a bit hypocritical of me to say, but I'm happy to hear that the two of you aren't interested in throwing your lives away for the chance of glory."

Shinji pulled the phone away from his face to see the time, 3:20 PM, and stifled a groan. It would be better to cut it off now rather than have Taiga, or worse, Ayako catch him on the phone.

"Didn't want to cut this short but I have something to get to in another few minutes so I think this is it for now."

"You really do know how to treat a girl, Shinji. Only talking just enough to get what you came for and then leaving just as quickly."

"Glad that you see it like it is." The two chuckled together. "Thanks again, Ylänea, really."

"You are very much welcome, Shinji. And please don't be afraid to call aside from business, I do enjoy these talks of ours."

---

"Thank you everybody for coming to visit Shirou after school. It means a lot to him. Come on, tell them it means a lot to you!"

"Ow, Fuji-nee! Why would you think hitting an injured person would be ok?"

"I made sure to hit your left side, you big baby."

"That still doesn't make it right!"

Shinji stood at the back of the hospital room, leaning against the wall next to the room's exit and away from the congregated mass around Taiga and Shirou. The redhead had a cast around his right shoulder and upper arm but other than that, looked no worse for wear, swatting at his sister in all but blood who dodged with the grace of a wildcat.

"Well then, you all can head home," Taiga said and Shinji instantly turned to the door, halfway out when he was pulled from behind. For the third time today. "Not you, Matou-kun. Everyone else can go though."

Shinji bit back a scream and plastered a smile on his face that fooled nobody, the pure unadulterated malice coming off him only hastening the departure of the other club members. Even so, Taiga grinned back at him and guided the Matou back into the room to where Ayako was standing next to Shirou in his bed.

"What could it possibly be that you need me here for, Tai-Fujimura-sensei?" The fact that Shinji was utterly fed up didn't stop him from recognizing the promise of harm that flashed in Taiga's eyes after almost calling her by her given name.

"Well, Matou-kun, thank you for asking. It seems that you had quite strong feelings about not coming to the hospital to visit Shirou. While I don't expect you to be friends with everyone in the club, I at least expect you to be civil." The woman nodded as though agreeing with herself. "That is why I am asking the two of you to clear the air with each other and start anew."

Turning to Ayako, Shinji was not at all surprised to see that the girl had a self-satisfied smirk on her face and he had no doubt that the same look was on Taiga's face as she ushered him back to Shirou.

"Fuji-nee," The other boy in question gave the woman a look of disapproval as he addressed her, "there is no need for you to force someone like this. It's not that Matou has a problem with me, we just don't see the need to be anything more than club members."

"No," Shinji surprised himself with how level he was keeping his voice, "I think the two of them are right. Let's clear the air, Emiya."

Apparently, Ayako recognized the tone of his voice well enough to understand that Shinji most certainly did not think she and Taiga were correct with how her expression died the moment she heard him reply.

"On second thought, I don't think we should leave. Fujimura-sensei, maybe it would-"

"Don't worry about it, Ayako." The Matou flashed her a smile that could kill. "I realized that this has been a long time coming. If you would, could the two of you step outside and give the two of us some privacy?"

Taiga, either unaware of the tension in the room or unaffected, gave Shinji a thumbs up and began to leave the room with Ayako in tow, ignoring the girl's protests.

The two boys waited for the doors to close behind the exiting pair and stayed silent a few moments after to make sure that the two weren't going to be eavesdropping. When it became clear that the two would be left alone, Shinji began to make his way to the left side of Shirou's bed.

He pulled a chair from where it rested against one of the walls and dragged it, filling the room with the unpleasant scraping noise, placing it to be adjacent with the ginger's upper body.

Finally sitting down, Shinji leaned his head back with his eyes to the ceiling before speaking.

"You know that I hate you, right?"

The Matou could hear Shirou shrug. "I had a feeling but could never really confirm it."

Shinji grinned, the boy's rather flippant response was exactly what he expected.

"I was never sure if it was just the fact that I hate you as a person or if it was what I had known even before meeting you but I can safely say that I don't ever think that I could like you, Emiya."

"Laying it on a bit thick there, don't you think, Matou?"

He shook his head. "On the contrary, I think letting you know exactly how much I hate you and your father's guts is the best way to get the two of us on the same page."

Shirou must have flinched since Shinji could hear the bed squeak from underneath the boy.

"What? How do you even know my father?" Any sense of levity in Shirou had been torn away, the entire tone in the room shifting to hostile in an instant.

Shinji didn't even blink, continuing without a care in the world. "I don't think that there is a single magus alive that hasn't heard of the Magus Killer, Emiya. The man was known by all, feared by all but that isn't how I know him. The Emiya Kiritsugu who hunted down those he deemed corrupt could never be a threat to someone like me. No, I hate the man not because of the harm he did but the good that he tried to do."

"Just what the hell are you trying to say, Matou?" Shirou's voice came out in a low growl that Shinji was sure that no one else had ever heard from the normally earnest boy.

Shinji smirked, it felt good to finally speak his mind to this oblivious dumbass. "What I'm trying to say is that Emiya Kiritsugu was a goddamn idiot, one who sought for a peaceful world yet everywhere he went, sowed chaos and despair. Even the man's wish for the grail was one that would destroy the world, just like the Einzbern. And I imagine the son of such a fool would be a carbon copy, parroting his flawed ideal."

Shirou grabbed Shinji's collar with his left hand and balled it up, pulling the Matou up to face him. Shinji finally made eye contact with the redhead and his smile grew deeper at the expression he saw on the boy's face, barely contained rage with Shirou's eyes darkening to a molten gold.

"My father's dream isn't flawed! What could be so wrong with wanting to save someone else as an ally of justice? How dare you twist his-"

"It's a selfish, stupid desire to wish to save someone. I know that for all your idealism you can recognize that as fact. To save someone, that someone must first be in need of saving. Don't try and act like a desire like that is selfless or altruistic, you and I both know that isn't true."

An almost incredulous, cold bark of laughter came from the boy on the bed. "And this is coming from you? Matou, I've known you for more than two years, time enough to know you accusing me or my father of being selfish is hypocritical as hell. You think I don't remember the stunt you pulled in our seventh year?" The Matou's eyes narrowed but he didn't do anything more, only glaring back just as intensely into the Emiya's own. "You being a suicidal idiot, that's on you, but getting wrapped up Mitsuzuri in your nonsense was something only a self-absorbed ass would do. Why you thought sticking around in a city when a serial killer was on the loose is beyond me, the fact that you did so and ended up getting another classmate to stay as well because she was concerned about you is proof enough that you only give a damn about yourself alone. You wanna talk about stupid, selfish people, try looking in a mirror."

The event Shirou addressed wasn't exactly a secret. There was understandably a bit of a buzz when Ayako and Shinji had arrived back in Fuyuki a little over two weeks after the rest of the Kyudo Club had returned, the field trip having been cut short after news of a killer prowling in the town they were visiting. The two had gotten a severe talking to by the principal and the club advisor for getting separated from the rest of the club and being left behind but there wasn't much else done since the two came out of it fine and addressing the fact that a member of the school's staff had lost two thirteen-year-olds when visiting another school would look pretty bad. And that was without mentioning the serial killer too.

Though Shinji had to admit, he doubted that the two of them would have gotten off so easily if it wasn't for his aunt vouching for them. The woman had a silver tongue, a given due to her occupation. Despite her protests and chiding against lies, she was able to weave the wildest of falsehoods without a hint of suspicion.

Shirou hadn't been a member of the Kyudo Club back during Junior High so he hadn't been on that short-lived trip but there was no way he wasn't aware of it. Most of the student body was, though it had dropped from being a piece of gossip over the years. Even still, it wasn't like anyone other than Shinji actually knew what went on during the twelve days he and Ayako had been there alone.

Shinji's gaze lost its edge at Shirou's accusation and the boy shrugged dismissively in response, a small grin appearing as he did. "Well, you're right about one thing, I am selfish. Never claimed that I wasn't, so congrats I guess for stating the obvious." Shirou was obviously not amused with the Matou's devil may care attitude, jostling the boy's collar angrily and having the beginnings of a retort on his lips but was interrupted as Shinji continued. "There's not a damn thing wrong with being selfish, Emiya. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar or a fool. There's not a single person on Earth who doesn't have their own desires at the forefront of everything they do. Acts of good and evil, all of it comes from someone placing their own will higher than the world around them and no matter the outcome, that's how it should be." Shinji shook his head and the smile faded off his face as the Wizard Marshall's words came to mind, feeling far more tired now as he looked back at Shirou. "To be selfish, to value yourself and the things you deem worthy over others is what it means to be human."

"Then it's just the same as-"

"Emiya, we are nothing alike, the reason behind our desires or otherwise. I only was thinking of myself back then and that ended up being the reason Ayako got wrapped up in my mess, something that I can easily admit was my fault. But the weight of two lives is nothing compared to what that childish wish of your father demands in blood. Being selfish was never the issue with you. Being a hopeful fool, ignorant to what lies ahead despite having the perfect example of why not to continue on this path in your father, that's what the problem is."

"...So what?" The adopted Emiya looked away but his grip on Shinji's collar tightened further, sounding less like he was asking for an answer and more like he was saying it to himself. "I don't give a damn if you think it's stupid, Matou. Even if my father's wish came from a self-serving desire, that doesn't change the fact that it's a worthy way to live. He found true happiness in saving me, only one person out of hundreds who weren't so lucky, from that Fire. What's so wrong with wanting to do the same even if it's just for my own selfishness?"

"Because it's escapism, just a convenient lie to tell yourself. It doesn't change anything in the end, people will still die. With or without some fool trying to be their savior."

"...Because it's inevitable, you think that makes it alright... To ignore that pain, to not even try." Shirou blinked and tilted his head to the side as if truly seeing Shinji clearly for the first time and his shoulders began to shake. A harsh and spiteful sound echoed through the hospital room as laughter wracked the boy's form, self-loathing and hatred that had been buried deep inside him for over eight years bubbling forth in his unrestrained snickering. "So the alternative is what I should accept? That it's all meaningless and there's no point to caring about anyone else, nihilism is your answer?" A bout of sardonic applause came from the red-haired boy, the action almost assuredly shooting pain through his injured arm yet the sneer never fell from his face. "Bravo, Matou, you really are a visionary. I should have known you'd spout that kind of bullshit in response."

"No, you know damn well what I'm really saying, Emiya. Both you and that father of yours, you only wish to save because you have regrets, not because you desire acknowledgement or care for the people themselves. You would sooner forget them the moment they are saved and continue to stroke your own ego by moving to the next disaster. Something that self-destructive and idiotic should only serve as a virtuous but empty ideal that should be cast aside, just the same as any snot-nosed brat wants to be a hero like those dumbasses on television wearing spandex and wielding plastic weapons but grows out of it." In response to Shirou's own heightened emotions and the visions of the past still painfully fresh on his mind, Shinji found himself becoming just as animated, each word dripping with bitterness. "Acting upon that kind of desire, trying to save humanity from itself only brings ruin. Better men than you have tried and been crushed, consumed under that impossible burden. Emiya Kiritsugu, despite making himself a stone-hearted murderous bastard, was one of those fools who attempted such a thing and was destroyed because of it. Only an idiot would follow down that disastrous path."

Shirou pushed the Matou back into his chair hard enough to have him skidding back a few inches and slammed his fist into his bed, glaring into his lap. "How can you say something like that, you bastard! The idea of being an Ally of Justice is to be one that does anything in their power for the betterment of others. Who are you to say a damn thing about my father? What the hell do you know that I don't, Matou?"

"That's not a question that I'm going to answer, not when that's not really what matters to you. I know you honestly could give less of a damn about the life of that man prior to the Fire. If you had, none of what I'm telling you would come off as a surprise. You would have known damn well the lengths he went in his attempt to make that dream of his a reality, the lives he destroyed, the people he sacrificed for his 'greater good'." Shinji grinned as the golden eyes across from him flashed dangerously. "You want to copy that idiot despite what I've said be my guest, just don't be surprised when it doesn't end the way you wished." The Matou laughed again, more to himself than at the boy in front of him. "You think that the world will give you validation for the good you do, that the hole inside you will be filled by some miracle because you kept at it for so long? You are a hollow soul, Emiya Shirou, just like the man who adopted you, just like any other dumbass that tries to be a hero. No matter how much you try to fill it from the outside, you will never be filled, never be satisfied."

"Good," The rage in Shirou's voice had cooled to hardened steel, now with an intensity akin to a bladed weapon, "to be an Ally of Justice is to devote your life to it. If I only stopped when I became satisfied, then I was never one to begin with. Regardless of what you say, Matou, I will not abandon my ideal."

"I never expected you to. Just… clearing the air, you know." Shirou set his jaw and turned away at the sight of Shinji's mocking smirk.

"Then what about you, Matou? If you can stand there and criticize me and my ideals, you must have one of your own to live for."

The blue-haired boy shook his head with a shrug. "Not me, I don't have the time or drive for some foolhardy ambition. Far too busy with real life and the future for any dream to distract me. The only thing I've ever wanted to do is to right some wrongs, live up to my expectations. Family matters and things of that sort. Things that you wouldn't understand."

"…If that's all you had to say, the door's right there. I'll tell Fuji-nee that we reached an agreement and be done with it."

"Yeah, yeah, one last thing." Shinji had already gotten up and begun to take his chair back to where it belonged, glancing back at Shirou after he finished. "Tell me, how are Illyasviel and those of the Einzbern doing?"

The boy on the hospital bed scoffed. "What is this, you're making up words now just to piss me off?"

Shinji had started to make his way out of the room but stopped after hearing that and faced Shirou once more. The ginger's face was still set in a scowl and it deepened upon seeing that the Matou was still there. It didn't stay like that for long.

For the first time since Shinji had entered the room, his face became warped in true anger. It was so abrupt and out of left field that Shirou dropped his own expression of annoyance upon seeing it.

"Oi, bastard. That wasn't a joke. When was the last time that you heard from them?"

"Them? I don't know anyone that goes by those names, am I suppose-" Shirou cut himself off, eyes widening slightly in surprise and increased confusion at the Matou's reaction. "Whoa there, Matou. That's quite the dangerous face you're making."

Shinji reached up to his face, his hand involuntarily shaking, and could feel the tightness of his face with his hands though after hearing Shirou speak, he could tell that everything was becoming numb for some reason.

Oh yeah, he was absolutely livid, that's why.

"Matou, sorry if it sounds rude but if you are going to have a panic attack, I'd rather you do it outside."

"…Emiya, do you have any siblings? Or better yet, do you know if Emiya Kiritsugu had any other children?" Shinji's voice came out deadly even, on the verge of completely losing control.

"I would have thought with the way you acted like you knew everything about the two of us, you would know this. I'm was an orphan from the Great Fuyuki Fire and I am the only chi-"

The Matou didn't even bother letting him finish. "Emiya, I have a whole other reason to hate you now, and believe me, this one blows the other one straight out the water. I literally cannot stand to be in the same room as you."

Without waiting for the boy to respond, Shinji made his way out of the room but stopped himself right in front of the door.

"Oh right, forgot to mention." The Matou turned his head to the side to speak over his shoulder but didn't bother looking at Shirou. "I hope you realize that Kyudo requires for you to be exemplified perfection and no matter how well you can shoot, that won't take away the scarring of that burn you got. It'd be in everyone's best interest if you just quit now instead of shaming us."

Shinji heard Shirou suck in a breath but couldn't give less of a damn about him anymore, stepping out of the room and into the hallway where Ayako and Taiga were waiting. The two of them had complex expressions upon seeing him exit, no doubt in his mind they had heard his parting words to the bastard, and the Matou knew that he didn't have it in him to fake a grin.

"We cleared the air."

"Shinji-" Ayako began, taking a step towards him.

"Ayako, I'm going on a walk. I'll see you tomorrow. You too, Fujimura-sensei."

The pair was unable to protest as the boy left, leaving the two in the hallway.

---

Shinji's walk to let off all of his latent anger had led the teenager to go from the hospital in Shinto to the Matou manor on foot and as such, it was now around five by the time he had reached the front gates. But the boy was still very much irritated so he decided to do the one thing that never failed to calm him down and headed to the left side of the courtyard.

Up until about three years ago, the courtyard had been an overgrown mess of greenery and even though they could easily afford for someone to landscape for them, Shinji had taken it upon himself to take care of it singlehandedly. Nowadays, he would rarely have to do anything other than weeding and basic trimming for the plants that bordered the property along the inside of the fences. Where he spent the bulk of his time was in his own personal garden, something he had fostered and cared for completely on his own.

It existed for two reasons, one, after witnessing the benefit of having access to your own personal store of alchemic and medicinal herbs, the boy had decided to have one of his own. He would never admit that he copied the idea, absolutely loathing having anything in common with the evil bitch but the claim wouldn't exactly be false. And two, it was the boy's only real hobby and probably one of the few things that he could never tire of doing.

Turning the corner around the manor, Shinji was surprised to see that he wasn't the only one out here. Sakura sat on a bench under the shade of an old unblooming sakura tree, reading a thick book with a furrowed brow.***

"It's unlike you to be out here, Sakura," He called out before turning his attention to the book in her hands, "and reading too. What do you have there?"

Sakura yelped and sent the book a few feet into the air, though she managed to catch it before it hit the ground with her own unique brand of clumsy dexterity. Floundering for a moment and shuffling the large thing around, Sakura schooled herself enough to answer as Shinji made his way to her.

"O-oh Nii-san, I wasn't aware that you would be home this early."

"Well, I had planned to be out for a little while longer but today has taken a lot out of me. I was planning on doing some gardening and… it looks like you did too."

"Eh?"

Shinji tapped the now closed book's cover, noting the golden sakura tree embossed on it.

"Well, I suppose arboriculture isn't exactly gardening but it is in the same school of thought."

"Arboriculture? What are yo-" As if noticing what she was reading for the first time, the girl rather awkwardly hid the cover of the book and looked back at Shinji, an expression of guilt displayed though it was odd, to say the least. There seemed to be a bit of spark of relief that had flickered in her eyes only for Sakura to pinch her eyebrows together in a strangely forced fashion and awkwardly bounce between staring meaningfully at the boy and looking anywhere but him. "I mean, oh no, arboriculture! I-I didn't want you to see that, Nii-san!"

Shinji gave the girl a confused glance and looked back down at the thick tome on fostering trees sitting on her lap. "You didn't want me to see you reading about trees?" Once again meeting Sakura's eyes, the boy's gaze was just as questioning before but there was now an air of incredulity as well. "...Why?"

"I uh- well, you see, it was supposed to be um, a secret?" Watching the girl stumble over her words was cute though he was having a hard time figuring out why she was getting this worked up over such a thing.

"Are you asking or telling me?"

"...Yes?"

Shinji threw back his head and let out a sigh before motioning for Sakura to give him some space on the bench. The purplette, albeit nervously, scooched over to give him a place to sit, hugging the books to her chest as she did. Taking a seat that left a notable amount of space between the two, the Matou put his school bag down on the end of the bench and looked back up at the evening sky.

"Sakura, you don't have to hide things from me. When it comes to things like this, I'm not like Grandfather. I don't care how you spend your time or where you spend it so long as it doesn't cause me any trouble. I would have thought after all this time you would have realized that. I'm not going to bite your head off for reading of all things."

"N-no, it's not like that, Nii-san!" Sakura immediately blurted out before her voice fell to a murmur. "It's just, I guess I was scared that you would be angry at me for taking books from the library..."

Shinji turned back to the girl, seeing that she was now staring down at the ground and tightly holding a pair of thick hardback books in her arms. The boy ran a hand through his hair and let out a small chuckle as the blue strands fell messily back to place; after everything that Shinji had been through and everything he had learned since that night all those years ago, there really was little that could end up angering him. The acts of fools like Emiya were one of those few things but that was warranted; ignorance, be it willfully or otherwise, was a sin that Shinji could never forgive.

Sakura had turned to face him and now had a confused look on her face, no doubt from hearing him laugh.

"Don't even worry about such a thing, if anything knowing that you are a girl with interests is a relief." Shinji said. "Having a drive, an ambition, really anything that motivates you is good, Sakura, I'm glad for you. Just don't launch books in the air like that often, stuff from the Matou library can't exactly be replaced." Glancing back at the book in the girl's arms, the boy grinned dimly. "You know, you aren't the only person who's lived here that had an attraction to trees."

"...Your grandmother, Uncle Byakuya's mother, right?" Seeing Shinji raise an eyebrow at her knowledge of the woman, Sakura nodded demurely and gestured to the sakura tree behind them. "Matou Sayo, I know about her and how she planted this sakura tree back when she was still a girl."

"...I imagine Father must have told you that, back when he was alive."

"Y-yes. While he never seemed to like talking to me, there were times when he noticed after my... training sessions that I was... hurting. T-to get my mind away from thinking about it and, I think, for his own peace of mind, he would talk aloud about his mother. It must have been because he thought that the two of us were similar... I guess t-that's why I was interested in this book, it reminds me of hearing about her."

Shinji shrugged. "Sounds about right, he always was soft when it came to girls." Which was a given even after putting the man's measured compassion for Sakura aside. One only needed to know of Father's relationship with Shinji's mother or the way the man spoke of his mother even though he had never met the woman, it was apparent that the man empathized deeply with the women unlucky enough to be involved with the Matou blood.

Hell, Shinji could remember seeing multiple instances of the past through his eyes when Byakuya kept Zenjou Aoi from being caught in the trap of associating with the Matou family, the last of which being his advice of putting duty over all else. That final conversation between the two was the final push Aoi needed to accept Tohsaka Tokiomi's proposal.

"...They did help, Uncle Byakuya's stories about Grandmother I mean." Sakura turned around and stared at the tree of her namesake. "Knowing that I wasn't the only one to... experience the Matou magecraft put me at ease in a way."

Shinji shook his head, grimacing. "Can't say the same, not after knowing the end of that story."

The girl turned to him, head tilted in question. "Uncle Byakuya never did say what happened to Grandmother... I know that she's been gone since even before Uncle was two years old but he never did tell me." Sakura caught Shinji's eye before shaking her head and facing the ground, her face obscured from sight by a purple curtain of hair. "...I don't want to know, Nii-san. Not if you're making a face like that."

Shinji turned away as well and closed his eyes, face still bearing a frown. There was no real surprise in hearing that, Father may never have had any hope of leaving Grandfather's clutches but that didn't mean he would actively crush the spirit of Sakura because of it. Not informing her of the woman's fate was just another act of hollow kindness by the man. To be honest, telling her anything about Grandmother was foolish in Shinji's eyes, there was nothing but sadness and pain in a life like hers but the man must have thought different. And apparently so did Sakura.

Thinking about it now, it really was a wonder that Father was so kind to her, at least when compared to how he treated his own son. Even if Kariya had been the one to lay his life down for the girl, Byakuya was the one who had nothing to gain by being benevolent. No delusions of a happy ending in sight, something as foolish as that had already been taken from him years back. It would have been much easier to deal with the girl as sparingly as possible, to not attempt at giving her solace but the man had still done so despite all that. Father truly was a fool, actively seeking punishment like that.

But there really was nothing shocking in the man's actions, every other Matou who has lived and died was the same. After all, chasing after absolution and wholeheartedly embracing the pain that came with it was a far better alternative to drowning under the weight of their sins. Suffering was only to be expected when such vile blood was concerned, it being under the guise of penitence was only a comforting illusion for this family.

Forgiveness was not a luxury available to the Matou. To be forgiven, one must first be able to forgive themselves.

And that was unfathomable.

"Was she the reason?" The girl's question broke Shinji from his train of thought, the boy opening his eyes and quirking an eyebrow at her. "Was Grandmother the reason that you started gardening?"

Shinji shook his head and stood up from the bench, stretching slightly as he answered. "No, but I can see why you would think so. Can't say there are many Matou with a green thumb other than me and her. Grandfather too but that was back when he was still a respected magus, during his days attending Clocktower. And that was more than a few lifetimes ago." He paused and reminisced for a moment, memories that were not his own coming forth as he muttered to himself. "Maybe the Master during the Second... or was it his daughter? The courtyard was only furnished with all these plants after the First but that wasn't till a few years prior to the Second... Somewhere during the 1870s if I'm remembering right. It had to be one of the two, no one else cared about such things after they died, but which one..." Feeling Sakura's confused gaze on him, Shinji shook his head again and waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind that I got a little distracted. You didn't ask about them, you asked about me." Shinji turned his head to look over his shoulder at her. "I started gardening because it interested me and I felt I needed a break from reading and studying. Besides, it's a good way to keep your mind off things for a bit and just lose yourself in your work."

"Really? That's it?"

"Do I need a deep, complex reason for digging around in the dirt?"

"N-no! It's just, I guess I expected your answer to be less... normal." Sakura flinched after realizing what she had said and shook her head frantically left and right. "W-wait, I didn't mean it like that! It's not like I think you're weird, Nii-san! You aren't, I swear!" Shinji grinned at the girl's flustered reaction and his smile deepened once she noticed he wasn't angered like she thought he would be. Sakura took a deep breath and sheepishly looked back at him. "Knowing you and how serious you're at home, to hear such a laid-back reason... It's a bit surprising to be honest."

The boy shrugged. "Makes sense. Frankly, I was wearing myself thin before I started this as a hobby, back before that field trip I took with the Kyudo club two years ago. It was only after that trip I learned not to push myself every free second I got. That and how taking time to relax wasn't as stupid as I originally thought." The grin fell off Shinji's face when he remembered why he wanted to garden today in the first place and he sighed. "Ayako and a few others taught me that, something you should learn as well, Sakura."

Sakura nodded, though she looked conflicted after he mentioned Ayako. Trying not to further remind himself of the pushy yet genuine girl, Shinji began to ready himself for gardening and untucked his undershirt from his pants.

"N-nii-san, I wanted to ask you something…"

"Go ahead."

"I had heard from Mitzusuri-kun that Emiya-senpai was injured yesterday. Sin-since he was hurt, I thought it would be a good-"

"No."

Sakura flinched at Shinji's tone, completely devoid of emotion. The Matou didn't stop there however and turned to the girl with a face that matched, noting that her expression fell further when she saw that his entire body was rigid in disgust.

"Being around a bastard like that is only going to cause problems for you, Sakura. There is not a single good thing that can come from associating with Emiya. Whatever you see in him, it's not real. He is just the same as that…" Shinji's voice trailed off when he pulled himself from his own thoughts and remembered who he was talking to.

Deadbeat sibling or not, Sakura wouldn't want to hear him insult Rin.

"But… I want to help him… Sorry, Nii-san." Sakura's voice was only a little more than a whisper yet, underneath the desperation, there was a strength in her plea.

"I swear, Sakura, I thought I told you to stop apologizing so damn much. Especially, when it doesn't make any sense to say sorry."

Shinji ran a hand through his hair, trying his hardest to not say something he would regret. The boy glanced back at his garden and let out a deep breath, bleeding out all of his anger and annoyance.

He wanted to destress by coming here, not amp it up even higher.

"Fine, whatever." Shinji said finally, meeting the girl's timid gaze for a second before tearing his eyes back to the ground with a dismissive shrug. "Do what you want. Just understand that there was a reason for my refusal. If it bites you in the ass later on, that's on you. I tried to tell you this was a bad idea."

Sakura nodded timidly and began to head indoors with her two books, stopping when she saw Shinji take off his blazer and roll up the sleeves of his undershirt.

"Um… Nii-san? Are you really going to be working in your school uniform? Won't it get dirty?"

"Sure it will but I really just want to get into it now rather than wasting time getting changed. That and I'd prefer not to get pulled into a long conversation with Grandfather…"

The Matou stopped after saying that and turned to the manor, remembering the exchange he had last night.

Even if she had just annoyed the hell out of him by asking about that ginger bastard, Grandfather was right.

Shinji let out a sigh and looked back at Sakura. "If you'd like, go run to the shed and grab me my set of gardening tools. I'll show you the basics of gardening. I imagine that it will be a bit more interesting than just reading it from a book."

The girl turned around if not hearing that correctly and upon seeing Shinji nod, grew a small smile and set the books back down on the bench next to his own bag.

Sakura walked briskly, almost skipping to the shed and Shinji couldn't hold back his own exhausted chuckles at the sight.

---

"Yeah, the past two days have taken a lot out of me but I guess that it's something I have to get used to. Only a little over a year and a half till the Fifth Heaven's Feel."

Even though the stretch of land atop Mt. Enzou, at the back of Ryuudou Temple, was his go-to place to be alone, it wasn't his favorite place in Fuyuki City. That honor went to the small park near Mt. Miyama, an unremarkable place that was slowly forgotten by the citizens after the construction of bigger and better recreational options in the newer Shinto.

"I'm glad that you can find my troubles amusing. Someone should at least."

He had wanted to avoid this place since he and Ayako still hadn't made up and the chances of running into her were pretty high. This was their spot after all.

"Well, I just wanted to get you up to speed with the things in my life, like you asked. It's still a bit weird to have someone asking about how I am, but… it's nice."

He was sitting on one of the two swings, softly swaying back and forth as the person on the other side of the call rattled off in a way that made him smile, despite the day that he had.

"I'll see about visiting in the next few months but I can't promise anything. There's a bit too much on my plate right now for me to know for certain."

The moon shone in the clear sky, casting a long shadow on the Matou as he swung alone in the park.

"I know, I know. I'll patch things up with her as soon as possible. I… I don't like leaving it like this either. She's important to me."

Shinji hummed in reply as the other person spoke, laughing lightly when they finished.

"Yeah, I'll let Sakura know and you tell that worrywart daughter of yours I said hi. Thanks, Auntie, good night."

Shinji stopped swinging and put his cell phone away, just sitting silently with his eyes closed and soaking in the peaceful atmosphere around him.

Tug

And for the fourth time today, Shinji was pulled from behind. Only this time, the boy softly grinned in response.

"Hey there, Ayako."

---

15th of Sextilis, 1560

It has been a while, old diary, since I have seen you last. You were last opened some ten years ago where I had listed my grievances with the untalented youth in our family but now much has changed. The Tsaritsa, Anastasia Romanovna, has passed away, by political means no doubt, and things have gotten uncertain as of late. The Tsar has never been the most stable of men but now, many fear that the loss of his wife will unhinge the man even further. His actions at the beginning of his rule, with the creation of the Stoglavy Synod and their indoctrinated method of covering Russia with Orthodox Christians, have left little room for those with pagan beliefs and even less for those of magus blood. While the Church has not been violent as of late, their influence grows rapidly and the elders are getting more and more restless. There are whispers that the situation will grow far worse as time goes on, the Tsar's having lost sight of his own ambitions and listlessly ruling as the noble class does as they please. It would be to our benefit though if the Tsar decides that the throne is too much for him, us Zolgen will not have to hide in the shadows as we have for the last decade. If not, we will survive as we always have. The youth of my years have grown to be strong and reliable magus, ones that I would trust my life with, and the elders have taken up the task to prepare the rest of the family for the years to come. If the Church comes to our doorstep, I have no doubt that we will drive them back though I myself have some worries. There is a feeling in the air that the older generation has sensed as well, we are on the precipice of some great change though I cannot say if it is for the better or worse. And that cold uncertainty drives a stake of fear straight into my heart.

Makiri Zolgen

Excerpt from Diary of Makiri Zolgen

---

Translation corner

[1] oyakata is a title that is used both for the head of a yakuza family as well as a sumo coach

[2] chabudai are the low standing tables that are used in Japan, an example of which is in Shirou's living room where everyone eats

[3] Ryuujin Matsuri means dragon festival

[4] безжизненный поток means lifeless flow

[5] Immer Füllend Hohl means always filling hollow

Translation finito

I'd like to apologize. Not for the time it took for this chapter, though I do wish that I had finished it earlier.

No, more for the fact that this is a gigantic chapter. Some of you'll probably love to sit down for an hour to read this but I'll admit that it's a lot.

Oh yeah, I lightly edited last chapter since Shinji's mother's name kinda didn't sound like an actual name. So give it a look if you wish.

But before all the new stuff, let me get into some me stuff.

FGO summer 2 and 3 were kinda kicking my ass since I really didn't want to do them but hey, completed 2 rerun and 3 is almost done for me, just grinding out the rest of the shop.

Didn't get Summer BB but really didn't have much saved for her so I'll try again next year.

I finally got to the Kara no Kyoukai movies and, with the exception of Future Gospel and Extra Chorus, I finished them. Loved all of them though, unpopular opinion, I liked boy persona of Shiki more than the girl side. Still ended up loving Shiki as a character by the end of it though.

Now only to wait for the Mahoyo translation to finish up.

The length of this chapter mostly stems from the fact that I wanted to have these events to take place in the chapter; Shinji and Genkei's walk, the interaction in front of the greater grail as well as the flashbacks, Shinji and Zouken's conversation, Shinji and Shirou finally meeting in the story, Shinji addressing Sakura wanting to help Shirou, and the final phone call.

And all the bits with Ayako. Not too sure if I got her character down but at the very least, I like the way that I can write her.

The chapter just kinda got away from me once I started writing it as you can see but I hope that all this work was for the better. I just didn't want to leave some of the plot for either the next chapter or worse, have another chapter in 2002.

Don't wanna drone on and on since I noticed last time that 1/11th of chapter 3 was just an AN so let's get to it.

The Ryuudou parents are characters that never actually make an appearance though if you played Hollow Ataraxia, you'll hear mentions of them in the temple segments. I really wanted to flesh them out since I like both Issei and Reikan immensely and the whole lore of the Ryuudou temple.

I didn't make up that story about the dragon god and the monk, I just added in details to actually make it a serviceable tale.

I did however change the Ryuudou from being normal monks to actually practicing their own kind of magecraft. They mention that once upon a time there were Ommyoudou practitioners in the Ryuudou but not anymore and I thought that was boring. So I changed it.

Genkei and Natsumi are the parents' names and I hope I did well enough to show that they once knew Kiritsugu on a personal level. It's said from one of the material books I think, that the Ryuudou head and Raiga both cared Kiritsugu well enough to make a big deal with the plans of his funeral.

I'll get into it later but the Ryuudou know about the magus families in Fuyuki due to them having a beef with the Tohsaka ages ago. That's why Genkei knew about the Matou.

* On the topic of ages ago, if you weren't aware, it is said that the daughter of Nagato was more helpful in the construction of the Heaven's Feel ritual than even he was. I quite liked that fact and decided to include the girl, giving her the name Ayaka Tohsaka. Mostly just a tongue-in-cheek nod to the original Fate/Stay Night protagonist, Ayaka Sajyou, but keep an eye out for her later.

Zelretch, I really didn't mess with him too much. I did however change his sword mystic code to be, you know, a sword. Instead of the dagger that is shown in Heaven's Feel, this new mystic code is a 3 and 1/2 foot weapon that looks just as incredible as it actually is.

And before I forget (actually did forget since I edited this part in after the upload), there are a few instances where I refer to a person or thing that could easily be searched up for an answer in lore but that's not the case here. If you think surfing the Type-Moon wiki to find out what's going to happen with some obscure thing I tossed in, you're gonna be out of luck. Most if not all of the new things in this fic are things that I have painstakingly deliberated on and there is still so much left to uncover so just understand that the most obvious answer to why I added this or that is not all that likely to be right.

Avenger is an interesting character, one that I'll dive into more as the story goes on. Just know that its intentions aren't always clear and that Shinji isn't the only person whose encountered it. There's really only one character who has and they met it even before Shinji did. And I'm not talking about Kiritsugu.

Kuzuki is a character that I feel doesn't get enough love due to the fact that he's the least interesting half of the servant master pair. Which sucks because he is incredibly written, at least in Hollow Ataraxia. I hope that I have and will continue to do his character justice.

** The Edelfelt are something that I kinda foreshadowed in the second chapter when going over Shinji's school life in London, them being the twins Shinji didn't remember the names of. I know that most people like to pick Luvia for obvious reasons, I went with her sister, someone that I feel would be a lot more mellow in comparison but will banter all the same. Yelena is almost entirely created by me but Luvia is known in canon to have a sister so just like with Issei and his parents, I just put my own spin on a character that "technically" exists. To me, the Edelfelt were the perfect solution to the whole "Sakura needs dick to live, magic sperm something something" since now she has something to siphon off.

It's kinda interesting how I came up with the younger sister's name. See, Luvia used to be the name of one of the principalities in Finland so I looked at the alphabet, saw that L was the 12th letter and looked for the closest thing to an X name, since X is double that as the 24th letter, in the previous principalities. I soon settled for a Y name and Yläne popped up. I just added an a to it and called it a day.

Before anyone gets up in arms about it, Sakura sucks at cooking cause she's never really tried to learn, only doing what she can on her own. Obviously, that changes after she starts helping out Shirou but right now, she knows jack.

Ayako is also going to be a side character in the spotlight with Issei since I do love their characters. Ayako in particular as she kinda takes the place of Shirou as Shinji's best friend. There is a bit of story that needs to be told about the beginning of their friendship but at least for right now, this is good enough. There are sprinkles of it littered throughout the chapter.

*** Shinji's grandmother, her unflowering sakura tree, and Sakura knowing about her is surprisingly not something I made up, it comes from Hollow Ataraxia. All of it comes from Sakura's Eclipse scene in the Matou manor, which is almost entirely a sex scene but the beginning parts of the scene add more depth into the Matou house and the family itself. The tree not blooming into cherry blossoms until Sakura cares for it and Sakura not "blooming" until Shirou cares for her is really just an excuse for a solo Sakura sex scene to be made while seeming deep but hey, I think any characterization to the Matou family is another thing I can work with.

Also Byakuya and all the other dead characters, while not being physically present, will still have effects on the story as well as being referenced when needed. Just letting a character end when they stop living is stupid since real life doesn't work that way, the dead are still present in a way. People talk about them, remember things about them, and sometimes even learn something new about them years after they're gone. I still have a few things planned for Byakuya so keep an eye out.

Oh yeah, let me know if you can figure out the two servants of Nagato and Zouken. Don't think that it is too hard to figure out but I'll give you a hint. In my head, all Tohsaka are destined to summon an Archer and one that is incredibly powerful in their own right. Also every single Archer that has been summoned in all five wars came from a different part of the world and this specific Archer is from China. For lancers it is even easier, every lancer is Irish.

Oh and just one last particular thing to keep in mind, Shinji and Shirou's butting heads in this chapter wasn't written with the intent of justifying one side over the other. Neither side is convinced or even really all that changed by the end of it, other than probably having another reason on top of all the myriad of others for hating each other. Its sole purpose is to show how differently my Shinji and Shirou interact from canon and to provide a bit of pre-war conflict, giving ways for parallels and other fun things in the future. It's not a medium for me as the author to justify Shinji's view over Shirou's.

Believe me, the themes of being a hero/saving the world are something intrinsically bound to the story of FSN and are one of many that I'm looking forward to exploring in all facets. It's not all cut and dry, black and white with either Shinji or Shirou's beliefs. One of the things I hate most in media, both fanfiction and otherwise, is arguments/conflicts that exist for the sake of negating one side completely and championing the other as fact or gospel. It's something many FSN fanfics are sadly guilty of. Shirou's desire being trampled by Archer and a litany of other characters as foolish or impossible, as if Shirou himself doesn't understand that. There is no right or wrong answer and honestly, I'm not looking for one.

It's the exploration of these characters' minds, what led to their beliefs and how is the world and others around them affected by what they believe. The growth of how these ideals change and evolve throughout the story is one of the things I am looking forward to showing most and I hope you're excited too.

I'll address a few reviews though I hope you don't think that I've become too much of a hot shot to speak to you personally, just don't want to inflate my word count artificially.

FakerHero, Hekkasi, RayDjok, BlueCore, TodayParade, and Diamond of Soul: Thank you so much for the support. Every review that tells me I'm making something that makes others enjoy only makes me work harder so thank you guys for your words of praise.

Guest: I'm glad that I'm getting people thinking. Yeah, I've spent quite along time trying to make my own parts gel with the established lore and I'd like to think that I've done well so far. I've read a bit of Faith and no ill will to the author, SIs are not really my cup of tea. I do like his concepts though and can tell that he's spent the time crafting his own workable magical system in the Nasuverse. Stay tuned to see what I have planned with my own additions.

ggboyking: You're absolutely right that Shinji is being an asshole to Sakura and if it was anyone else they probably wouldn't treat her as harshly. But it's not. I wanted to make a believable Shinji and well, Shinji didn't like Sakura one bit. It's incredibly irrational for Shinji to hate Sakura for her circumstances but his own are pretty shit too. I didn't want this story to have Shinji, Sakura, or really any other character be a hatesink or just unbelievably evil. There is reasoning for all the characterizations that I have made with each character so I hope that you will still give this story a try.

Don't really have much else to say other than the next chapter will be on the eve of the Holy Grail War only a few weeks before.

We're about to hit the beginning of Fate/Stay Night so I hope that you guys are as excited as I am. Believe me I got a whole lotta stuff planned and it's gonna be a fun ride.

Drop a review, positive or negative, I live off the things.

Gonna rewatch the Heaven's Feel movies in anticipation of an inevitable camrip of Spring Song, so see you guys later.

DSDAD out