Increased business demands had led Reigen to increase the number of Spirits and Such staff.
Before there was a staff of two, her and Mob. Now they had a staff of three. Her, Mob, and Mob's apparent best friend, Tome. She was their new secretary. Her job consisted of picking up phones, filing, and writing receipts. She did those jobs just about as well as Reigen could have expected from someone who was being paid in experience and the occasional ramen dinner.
Case and point, the giggles and whispers being carried through the office and to the back store room where Reigen was looking for her spare yoga pants. Usually her stockings ripped so really this was a welcome change of pace. She knew she had a spare pair around her someplace. Well a spare of a spare. Her original spare pair of yoga pants suffered an unfortunate accident and had to be declared dead and given a proper burial in the rag bucket. She would have had an easier time looking if one of those two would help her.
But she was loathe to pull Mob away from her friend.
That was why they had fought, she took up too much of Mob's time. Mob was getting older and making friends and that was alright. She knew that she wouldn't be Master Reigen forever but maybe she could be…Arataki. Maybe later, not now. Now she was Master Reigen and she needed to find her spare yoga pants because a client was coming and she could not do yoga in her work skirt. It was not that kind of business.
The business was called Spirits and Such but not that kind of Such.
Not that the clients would mind. She wasn't blind, she knew why some of these guys kept coming week after week. There were only so many times she could do the 'coral steam yoga' exorcism with a guy before she stopped kidding herself. Not that she minded, she met some pretty fun guys that way.
But she wouldn't if she couldn't find that damned spare pair of yoga pants!
"Shush, do you want her to hear?" asked Tome. Mob shook her head 'no'. Master Reigen was in the back room looking for something and she got kind of grumpy whenever she had to do that. Mob knew that she should have been back there helping but she also knew that she had to be polite to Tome, especially since Tome was nice enough to show her some of the best manga ever written.
Tome's words.
Unless the manga had to do with falling in love, cats, club adventures, or EVA then Mob usually passed on it.
This, however, was something of great interest to Mob.
"No. I don't think that Master Reigen would want us to read this sort of book here." Said Mob. She knew that people looked this kind of stuff up on the internet but she never got the appeal. If you didn't know the people or how they had fallen in love then what was the point of watching them do…stuff.
Manga was different.
And it wasn't bad, Tome had said, it was art. It was artistic expression and it could not be censored.
But they still shouldn't go waving books like this around where Master Reigen could see. Mob knew that she would not want them reading something like this at work. Not that it was that bad, not really. It was more…romantic…than anything.
"He knelt before the soft thicket sprouting from his omega's abdomen. He parted the soft grass and the sweet smell of desire filled his lungs-" read Mob softly with a blush and a laugh.
"Ok, so that means that he-" said Tome
"I know what it means, Tome, I'm fourteen." Said Mob. When Tome pulled this book out of her school bag she said that she was going to 'rock Mob's world off it's axis' and 'shock her like she had never been shocked before' but so far Mob had just laughed a lot. Not her 'ha-ha' laugh but more of an expression of nervousness and, well, she should not have been reading this. Not to herself and certainly not aloud at work either.
"Who told you of these things?!" shouted Tome. Mob shushed her and looked off to the side, fearful that Master Reigen would come bounding around the corner and see what it was that had them so amused. She would not be amused, not at all. Work was serious. This was a place of business not a library, Master Reigen said sometimes when Mob got too into her manga and forgot to, well, work. This was worse, of course, much worse.
"I hear people talking, they always forget that I'm there. I know what people do together, Tome. I'm only a year younger than you. I'm never going to do anything like this but I know about it." Said Mob. She held her breath as she heard the creak of the storeroom door as it opened further.
"What are you two doing in there?" asked Reigen. She caught some snippets of what they were saying. Those two had better not be doing what she thought that they were doing. First of all this was a place of business, not a gentlemen's library, and second of all Mob and Tome were too young to be reading about whatever the hell they were reading about.
Reigen knew exactly what they were reading about.
"Wholesome reading!" shouted Tome. She smiled to herself. That was a great lie. Mob shook her head. Before she could say anything Tome covered her mouth.
"It's not a lie, it's a value judgement. I consider this to be very wholesome so I'm not lying." Said Tome. Mob nodded. She would have said something but her mouth was still covered.
"Yeah, sure…" said Reigen. She'd have to have a talk with those two later but right now she needed to find those pants. Oh! Maybe in that old Amazon box in the back!
"This is wholesome? But Tome, they're-?" said Mob
"Mob, I've seen things that you can't even imagine. This is kindergarten stuff compared to what I've seen." Said Tome
"….it gets worse?" asked Mob
"So much worse. Mob, you are so lucky you have me to guide you. I swear, if it weren't for me you'd be totally lost." Said Tome
"That's not true, I have Master Reigen. She helps me out a lot." Said Mob. Reigen smiled when she heard that. Yeah, she and Mob were cool again. She learned her lesson, never call Mob away from karaoke with her friends and that guy she liked. Also never throw salt around on national TV. Also never insult a hundred year old psychic, old people could hold grudges like nobody's business….
"But does she help you out where it counts? Mob, Mob, Mob, you're trying to get with that blond guy, right?" asked Tome
"Um….I want to be his girlfriend. We went on a couple dates just the two of us…and he held my hand and walked me home…and I liked that a lot…" said Mob
"You're so young, Mob. I remember those halcyon days of my second year, when I was still young and innocent. My poor, poor Mob." Said Tome
"What are halcyon days?" asked Mob
"You know! Like, nostalgic times! Aren't you going to ask me what I'm so nostalgic about?" asked Tome
"Your second year?" asked Mob. Well that was what Tome had just said but this might have been one of those social things that she was just expected to know.
"Right, my second year. When I was a young and innocent girl of fourteen-" said Tome
"You two had better not be talking about what I think you're talking about in there!" said Reigen. Oh hell no! Not in her office. She was not naïve, she knew what girls that age got up to. She knew what she got up to at that age, anyway, and Mob was way too young for all of that. So was her friend. They could do…that…when they were her age and she was either really old or really dead.
"I have no idea what we're talking about, Master Reigen." Said Mob loudly enough to be heard.
"Mob, the art of subtlety is lost on you. You are my dearest, closest, friend. Did you know that?" asked Tome. Mob shook her head.
"I had no idea but thank you. You're a really good friend too, Tome." Said Mob
"Then I tell you this in the strictest confidence." Said Tome. She leaned in really close and told Mob something that she could have lived a very long time without knowing.
Everything not nailed down jumped up a few centimeters in the air, including the box that Reigen was looking through.
"With Inukawa!?" was all that Reigen heard. Then more whispering. She shook her head. Well now she was going to have to talk to Mob…actually the both of them…because she was an adult and she needed to be responsible. She was not going to do what her mother did and traumatize them with a diaphragm…did they even still make those? Heh. Maybe she could borrow her mother's….ick. Ok, that hadn't been funny at all.
Hey! Pants!
"Was it like this?" asked Mob pointing to the manga in front of them. She leaned in closer to Tome, the office couch groaning under the sudden movement.
"Yes and no, but mostly no. This is Alpha/Beta/Omega, not life. I mean, obviously we regular people are betas but it's nowhere near as good as this would make it seem." Said Tome. This was why you got a female friend, so you had someone to talk to about these big things that happened in your life! Also you could totally help guide her though all of this! Also you had someone to read weird, smutty manga with.
"….what's the difference?" asked Mob. She knew some things. She knew what she had overheard, learned in health class, and read about in that book mom got her. It was different to actually talk to someone who had actually done this stuff in actual life.
Well Master Reigen probably had but she could not ask Master Reigen about this.
"Ok, well first of all you see how the alpha has that thing? That's a knot and it ties him and the omega together when they-" said Tome. She and Mob were hunched over their
"What in the hell did I just hear?" asked Reigen as she turned the corner with the world's ugliest pair of mange colored yoga pants draped over her arm. They smelled like a mixture of jasmine incense and mother balls and rode up like nobody's business but at least they were clean, in contrast to the utter filth that those two had their noses buried in.
"We're reading-" said Mob
"An art book!" finished Tome
"Uh huh, let's see this art." Said Reigen making the universal gesture of 'hand it over'. Mob passed it over without objection. She did, however, look away. A blush colored her cheeks. Tome just looked put out.
"You two…why are you two reading this? You know that it's NOTHING at all like this, right?" asked Reigen suppressing laughter. Laughter born out of horror for what it was that passed as filth these days. It wasn't like this in her time. All you needed were a couple of guys, one mean jerkish and one kind of soft and prissy, and then the rest just wrote itself. Kids these days were so desensitized that they needed…whatever in the hell she was looking at…
She sounded like her mother. Back in mom's day you drew stick figures on cave walls. Heh.
Ok, not that funny.
"I know. Tome says that it isn't. She-"said Mob. She could never keep anything from Master Reigen, ever. Tome started to shake her.
"Keep it to yourself!" said Tome. She did not need a lecture from an adult about how she was too young and she had her whole life ahead of her blah, blah, blah….
"I know what Tome did. You two are louder than you think." Said Reigen
"Ok, we'll be quiet from now on. I'm glad you found your pants, Master. Are they comfortable? Are you going to do another yoga exorcism?" asked Mob trying to change the subject slyly. Of course Reigen could see right through her like a shower curtain from a shady Chinese amazon vendor.
"Ok you two, scoot over. Time for an awkward talk about what's appropriate in the workplace…and life…because this is some weird shit." Said Reigen
"No it's not! Don't shame me! It's beautiful and romantic and-" said Tome
"I have no idea what in the hell it is that I'm even reading, ergo it's weird shit." Said Reigen
"That's the alpha. He just confessed his feelings to his omega and that made the omega go into a heat so now they're-" said Mob trying to be helpful. Art. This wasn't filth, it was art. Like Tome said. It was like when they went to the art museum and they had all of those paintings of naked people but it was ok because it was art.
"I know what they're doing, Mob, I know exactly what they're doing. What in the hell even is…" said Reigen holding the book sideways and upside down. This was too ridiculous to be awkward. Yeah, she could not let those two walk around thinking that THIS had any basis at all in reality.
"This is the part where the alpha marks the omega, I've been waiting for over a hundred issues for this. See, after the omega's flute goes concave and the alpha knots-" said Tome making a gesture that could only be describe as obscene. Yup. Ok. Now it was awkward.
"I get it! I get it….just don't read these books-" said Reigen
"Hey! I said not to shame me! Just because I'm a girl-" said Tome
"Let me finish you serial interrupter! Don't read these books at work…or out in the world. I can't believe that I even have to tell you guys this." said Reigen
"Oh. Ok. I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that bad. Boys watch much worse stuff than this on their phones in class." Said Mob
"Boys are perverts." Muttered Tome
"Ok, anyway-" said Reigen
"But you said that we shouldn't shame people." Said Mob
"We can shame boys, they're perverts." Said Tome
"Guys-" said Reigen again
"But you're in love with Inukawa, right? Also Ritsu is not like that at all. He doesn't even think about stuff like this. He doesn't even know about stuff like this, he's too little." Said Mob
"Listen-" said Reigen
"All boys are perverts and have been since the beginning of time so it's alright to shame them!" said Tome
"We shouldn't shame anyone, it's mean." Said Mob
"Yeah but-" said Tome
"Nobody is shaming anyone! I just don't want you guys reading weird manga at work! And don't shame boys or girls or anyone! And real life is nothing like this! And you two are too young for all of this anyway! You're in middle school! Wait until you're my age and I'm dead!" said Reigen
"Says you." Said Tome sticking out her tongue.
"You're going to die at sixty?" asked Mob. Reigen stared at her.
"How old do you think I am?" asked Reigen
"Twenty nine, Master. We just had a birthday party for you." Said Mob
"Yeah, I got you a radium cigarette case and Mob got you a Costco sized pack of stockings." Said Tome
"….it's made out of radium?" asked Reigen feeling the cigarette case in her suit coat pocket.
"I hope so, I paid extra for the radium coating." Said Tome. There was some silence. Reigen passed Tome back her book.
"Mob, work on your math homework. Tome man the phones. Both of you, read this…art book….on your own time….and no more radium!" said Reigen getting up to go change into her spare-spare yoga pants.
"Yes Master." Said Mob. She would always listen to Master Reigen. She was right, this was a place of business, not a place to be reading books like that. Even though it was just her and Tome. Not that she should have been reading books like that at all. Mom said that good girls didn't look at things like that or read about things like that or even think about things like that.
So Mob was not very good, then.
Because lately her mind was becoming more and more consumed with things like that. She had always thought about kissing and holding hands and sharing bicycles and umbrellas but now she was thinking about other things too. Things that it was stupid to think about because nobody would ever want to do those things with her anyway. Especially not someone like Teru who probably only went out with her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings or something like that.
"You don't pay me! Every moment of time is my time!" said Tome. What was it with adults? They could all be such hypocrites, even cool ones like Reigen. Just because she was a girl that did not make it wrong. Mob had swallowed that one hook line and sinker. Well Tome was not going to let her friend live a life of repression and regret!
"I'm paying you in experience and good memories!" said Reigen as she closed the bathroom door. Why couldn't they just stay kids for a little while longer? Especially Mob. She was still so young…not as young as she used to be but so young. There was a world of pain out there, pain that Reigen knew well, and pain that Reigen knew that Mob did not need.
She also didn't need weird stuff like that hanging around in her head!
That was so weird, really it was. So it was just…morbid curiosity that led Reigen to wondering exactly what happened in the other…Tome said hundred…volumes of that manga. What was it called? Just so that Reigen could stay away from the weirdness of course.
But then again she did have a certain responsibility to Mob and she needed to know what notions, exactly, she would need to be debunking. So it was only natural that she would need to do some research onto the subject.
But first, the world's ugliest pair of yoga pants!