Mob had been feeling rather upset all day.
She didn't know why. She got a score above a seventy on her math test, ran the full circuit in body improvement club, and even held hands with Teru before and after school. Those were good things that happened to her. Those things should have outweighed the bad things. So why did she feel like this? So…upset. So…out of sorts…
She couldn't think about all the good things that happened to her, she was just that upset. Just that out of sorts. She could only think about the bad things, like how she burnt her toast that morning and had to eat it because she used up the last of the bread. She would have eaten her cereal but someone had eaten all but a small bite of it. Who did that? Who just ate all but one measly handful of a whole box of cereal? Who ate everything but the ends of a loaf of bread? Who?! Who was this-this-this terrible person?! They were living in a society! People living in a society did not act like that!
They were living in a society! The society that they lived in had rules! You did not just-just-just eat all the food like some kind of-of-of food eater! That was not how it worked! That was not how any of this worked!
Mob could feel her powers reaching around her. The pencils in the cup on her desk began to float around her head. One of them poked her in the forehead. She glared at it and it disintegrated. She brushed the remnants of the pencil off of her face and sighed.
Reigen looked up from her work. Legitimate work. Work that needed to be done. Certainly not messing around on the internet. Nope. Work.
"Mob? What's eating you?" asked Reigen. It was just the two of them. The girls had gone home for the day. Serizawa had reached his socializing limit earlier, it happened sometimes, so he was long gone. It was just her and Mob.
"Nothing. Everything. I just….I don't know." Said Mob. She was at her desk. She had been reading, well trying to, but every time she tried to read on panel she was reminded of her day and how awful it had been….and she didn't even know why. Maybe because this manga was about school life and she had spent the entire morning of her life at school.
"Talk to me, Mob." Said Reigen wheeling out from behind her desk. She knew Mob, she did, and something was wrong. A lot could have been wrong. Mob had been through a lot….
"We are talking." Said Mob with a slight tone. Reigen got up and poured a cup of tea.
"I mean about what's bothering you." Said Reigen as she put the cup of tea down in front of Mob. She took a sip. It didn't help her stomach one bit.
"I just….nothing." said Mob. Nothing was bothering her, that was the problem. None of the things that were bothering her were actual, well, things. Just little things that annoyed her, that was all…
"Come on Mob, I know you. If you want to talk about…anything….I'm here." Said Reigen. Maybe it was catching up to her, everything that happened. It hadn't been all that long ago…Reigen was a grown woman and she still woke up in a cold sweat sometimes.
"It's just…I don't know. Today it feels like…like I'm mad at everything….and I felt this way yesterday, too, and the day before that." Said Mob. She slumped down and wrapped her arms around her stomach. It was like she has a stomach ache that just would not go away.
"Well I know the cure for that." Said Reigen. She knew that feeling, the low key afraid feeling. It never truly went away. Sometimes it subsided, sometimes you could ignore it, but then it just sort of crept up on you.
"What?" asked Mob as Master Reigen grabbed her bag. Mob checked the time, it was about time to go. Sometimes they got a last minute walk-ins, but not always. Mob usually stuck around just in case. Tome and Rei usually had to go home earlier than she did. Serizawa usually stayed later, though, but not for what Tome thought…or Rei. Master liked him and he liked her but they were not doing couple stuff.
Not that Mob didn't want Master Reigen to be happy.
"Something from the fried, greasy, salty, and delicious food groups." Said Reigen. Mob nodded. She would have chosen something from the healthy, dairy, and delicious food groups if it were up to her because she was the student, not the Master. She'd always be the student. She'd always be just the student and Master Reigen would always be the master. She was still just a kid to Master Reigen and to everyone even though she had saved the entire world. She didn't even get to pick where they had dinner…
Not that Mob minded, not really. She liked getting dinner with Master Reigen.
It seemed like everything was bothering her today, even Master Reigen.
She usually liked listening to Master Reigen talk. Now she wasn't paying attention. Now she wasn't paying attention to anything and then also paying attention to everything. How cold it was outside, colder than it should have been, how her left sock kept on drooping because the elastic was broken, how her hair kept on coming out from her braids….she couldn't even do that right. She couldn't say anything right or do anything right and nothing would ever be right again!
It felt like.
That was just what it felt like. It felt like nothing would ever feel right or be right again. That was just how she felt.
Not even greasy fast food could make her feel better.
Not even conversation with Master over greasy fast food could make her feel better.
"….it's a lot for me too, you know, so I have no idea how much it is for you. You're half my age and I can't even begin to imagine how all of this is sitting with you. So, really, you can talk to me. Today, tomorrow, a week from now, a year from now, twenty years from now." Said Reigen between bites of her burger. Mob was being quiet, even for her. Something must have been really wrong.
And Reigen had no idea what to do.
She ate her feelings. She ate her feelings and drank her feelings and shopped her feelings and fucked her feelings. So, yes, she did not know what to do about whatever this was with Mob. She had been coping so well, better than Reigen at least, and much better than Serizawa. Kids were resilient but not that resilient.
"Master it's just…I keep on getting mad all the time. I was mad at myself, today, most of all for being mad. Like this morning I wanted to have cereal but somebody ate most of it and I only got a little bit left. Then I made toast and I burn the bread because it was the ends of the loaf and they toast differently. I was just so mad…and then I was mad at myself for getting mad. I shouldn't get mad." Said Mob
"Mob, you have every right to get mad. Everyone gets mad sometimes. Anger is an important emotion, it lets us know when something's wrong." Said Reigen
"You get mad, master?" asked Mob. She had never seen Master Reigen mad, not once. She had seen Master Reigen annoyed before but not mad…or maybe she had. Master Reigen had…when she told Mob to duck she sounded so…cold. Not mad like when mom got mad and started yelled. More like…like she was trying not to yell….kind of like Mob had been.
"Yeah, sometimes. I'm only human. Never at you or the others but, yeah, I do get mad." Said Reigen
"About cereal and toast?" asked Mob
"Sometimes. Like when I was a kid and my mom would toss out my cereal that I bought with my own money just because it was sugary. 'Don't get fat, Arataki' she'd always say, like that would be the worst thing in the world." Said Reigen
"That's a weird thing to get mad about." Said Mob. Her mom worried about that, too. Mob didn't get it. Sometimes people were fat and sometimes they were skinny and sometimes you were regular.
"Yeah, well, mom's a weird lady. I get pretty pissed off when I have to spend more than ten seconds with her honestly…." Said Reigen
"Oh…I'm sorry." Said Mob
"No, you don't have to be. I'm ok with it." Said Reigen. Mob nodded. Now she was kind of sad. Master Reigen told her, before, a little about her life. How her dad had another family and went to live with them when she was fourteen and how people used to make fun of her for only being half Japanese. Mob wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
And grabbed her stomach with her other hand.
She was getting so upset she was getting motion sick….right? This felt kind of like being motion sick…sort of…
"Really, Mob, I'm fine." Said Reigen. She handed Mob a napkin. That was…weird. Mob wasn't usually the weepy type….
"I don't know why I'm like this…and now my stomach hurts and I think…I feel like I'm going to be motion sick…" said Mob. Motion sick was a nice way of saying about to throw up. Mom said not to say throw up because it wasn't polite.
"Mob, if you think you're going to throw up then go to the bathroom. Stop eating, too….that's weird. Mine's fine…" said Reigen taking a bite of her burger. Same as it ever was.
"Ok." Said Mob. This was so weird. The had been coming to this MobRonald's since back when she still got Merry-Meals. She had never gotten sick before. Well they did say that there was a first time for everything. They did say that.
And if she was motion sick then she was motion sick. Maybe that was what had been responsible for her bad mood for these past few days.
Maybe she would just be motion sick and then it would all pass. Yeah, she'd just go, throw up, and then be back to normal. She couldn't remember eating anything weird…though she had been pushing pretty close to the expiration date on that milk…
Reigen did not taste anything wrong with Mob's food, either. Not that she bit right where Mob bit from, that would have been gross, she had just torn some off from the other side. Hmm…well it tasted normal, looked normal, and smelled normal. Must have just been nerves, then. Mob got that sometimes when she was little. She had been so nauseated after the first time that they had gone on a job.
She had been worried about disappointing Reigen, she said.
That was the trouble with Mob. She cared too much about other people. Not in the saving their lives way but in the 'what they thought' way. A little bit of self-awareness was healthy but Mob, well, she was the sort of person that joined a hardcore workout club because the most popular girl in school said that she didn't want Mob on her team in gym class.
Well she was at that age.
Fourteen was a terrible age. All of middle school was like some terrible fever dream that you couldn't wake up from. Not even a fever dream, a twilight dream. The sort of dream where you cycled in between being awake and asleep. When you were paralyzed and disoriented and you had no idea what was reality and what was fiction. That weird upside down place. That was where Mob was. The social rules were new and contradictory, the opinions of other shifted like the tides, and your body betrayed you in almost every way possible.
Really, it sucked.
It really sucked and it sucked for Mob…Mob….Reigen was thrown from her thoughts by the ground beneath her feet shaking. An earthquake? They weren't uncommon, it was Japan after all, but that felt different…familiar. Not earthquake familiar….
Mob.
Reigen didn't have to think. She just got up and went to her, their food abandoned. Mob was…she lost control sometimes, but never for no reason. Never, ever, ever for no reason. Even Mob reasons for reasons.
Her heels clicked against the tile of the floor. She craned her neck down as to see which stall had a familiar looking pair of feet under it. She found them in the second to last stall. She stopped and knocked after a moment….
"Master…?" asked Mob. This was not happening. This could not be happening. This was…she was not dumb. She knew that tis day was coming. She had gone through health class, she read the book mom left on her desk, she even had that super awkward and embarrassing talk with mom about this very thing! It was just….she had not been expecting this at all…and there it was….all red and gross….
"Hey, you alright? The whole place kind of…shook." Said Reigen. There was a pause and
Reigen wondered, maybe, if she had overreacted just a little bit. Just a tiny bit. Not a terribly large bit…just a little bit.
"I'm….Master? I just….I-I-" said Mob. She could not say anything. She couldn't tell anyone about this. She was not Tome. Tome was comfortable with herself that she could yell across the office for a tampon. Mob was not Tome. She was not comfortable with herself or with this. Why did this have to happen to her? She did not want this. She hadn't asked for this. She had no need for this. She wasn't even kissing let alone trying to have a baby!
"You ok? Did you throw up? Come on, talk to me." Said Reigen. She hoped that it wasn't anything serious. She hoped that Mob had just thrown up or something like that. Well if it was serious then they could just take a cab to the hospital. They had some of the best healthcare in the world. Mob was fine.
Mob would be fine.
"I-I-I just….it's just….I didn't throw up…." Said Mob. She could just live in the bathroom. She could turn invisible….not that she knew how….but it was possible and she could just turn invisible and live in the bathroom until this was over. She couldn't come out. She couldn't get up and open that door and leave after…this…happened.
"You want to go to the hospital? I'm starting to worry here." Said Reigen. Mob was fine. She had seen Mob set on fire, throw through buildings, shoved through layers of concrete….lifted up by her neck…her limbs twisted….the way she screamed….
That was over.
Mob was fine.
"I don't need to go to the hospital! I'm not dumb!" said Mob. There, the anger. She did not need to go to the hospital for this. She knew that she was not dying. Not like that poor first year that got hers on sports day in front of the whole school and then she started crying because she thought that she had pushed herself to far and her organs were hemorrhaging….not that the first year who Mob could not recall the name of had been dumb….because that would be a mean thought to have about someone….but Mob was not dumb and she was not little. She knew what was happening to her. She didn't want it to be happening but she knew what it was…
"Hey, hey, ok. No hospitals. I read you loud and clear. Just….you're ok? Right? Just tell me that you're ok." Said Reigen
"I'm….I'm fine…it's just…why couldn't I be a boy?!" asked Mob. The lights in the room glowed bright. A few of the bulbs popped.
"A guy? Because you ended up a girl, Mob, there's no rhyme or reason to it. That's just the way it-" said Reigen
"It's not fair! I didn't ask for this! I never wanted this! Why did this have to happen to me? If I were a boy then I wouldn't have to worry about this or-or-or-or anything!" said Mob. She was crying now. She was crying and she didn't want to be and she could feel her powers reaching out around her and she knew that she was messing with the lights and she was the one turning the taps on and she was going to flood the bathroom and she didn't mind drowning but Master Reigen would and-
"Oh. Yeah, I get it. I read you loud and clear, Mob." Said Reigen. She dug into her bag. Mob heard the rustling. She didn't pay it any mind until she saw a hand stick it's self under the stall door. Master Reigen's hand. Red nails, one of them terribly chipped.
Mob did not want to think about what was in her hand.
"Pick your poison, Mob." Said Reigen. Poor kid. Poor, poor, poor kid. She had wondered, not in a weird way, more in a concerned way, when Mob would have to have this particularly unwelcome monthly visitor. It was a lot to deal with when you were young, even more when you were, well, Mob.
Her control wasn't that great even at the best of times.
"I don't know how to…" said Mob. Too much. She knew what those were. Mom had those, and she had gotten some for Mob for 'when the inevitable happens, Shigeko.' A lady from the Private Lady Sanitary Products Company even came to her school and gave out free samples. The same kind Master Reigen used, apparently.
That was something that she did not know about Master Reigen.
She pulled her hand back. Mob was about to tell her that she changed her mind, that she could figure it out, because she could not spend the rest of her life in the bathroom. She had to get home and finish her homework and wash her hair and charge her phone. She could not live here, she didn't have her charger. She needed to go home and she could not go home while she was bleeding everywhere….
Then Master Reigen's hand came back. She just had one thing, this time.
"This is probably more your speed. The bottom side is sticky so really you have to just put that one in your underwear, sticky side down, and tuck the wings under. They should meet in the middle to keep it secure. Positioning can be hard but honestly, just make sure you cover the bloodspot. That's your best guess as to where the…um…optimal position is." Said Reigen. She could do this. She could be better than her mother. Mom just gave her five hundred yen and told her to go to the store. No instruction, no help, not even a ride. Nothing.
Mob deserved better.
"Yeah, it was stupid of me to give you a tampon. That's a little advanced for you, God knows it was for me. It took me half an hour to pick up the nerve to even try when I was your age. We were visiting my dad's sister and they had just put in this new pool. Well I was not about to be left out so I stole one of my cousin's tampons and just…sat there and tried to figure it out. I did, after a while, but then my mom chewed me out on the way home…and dad was right there! Heh." Said Reigen
"….you were just trying to help." Said Mob. She was glad that Master Reigen was talking to her, and not just to cover up the rusting of the plastic. She didn't want to be alone, right then. She didn't want to have to deal with another super big thing all on her own.
Master was always there.
And it was nice.
"Yeah, well, I should have tried harder. Don't get upset Mob, really, this isn't that bad. It happens to everyone and, yeah, it sucks but you'll get used to it. Give it another forty years, it'll go away." Said Reigen
"Forty years….?" Asked Mob
"Yeah, forty years. Maybe sooner. They made pills, well not here yet it's such a bitch, sorry, pain to get even the mini pill….well they make pills so that you don't even have to have a period. Maybe by the time you're my age they'll have it cheap and available. The times are changing." Said Reigen
"They are?" asked Mob. She tugged her underwear back up. This was…uncomfortable. The wrapper said that it was supposed to be regular. This was what regular felt like? All itchy? She tugged at it. She put it where the, sizable, blood spot had been…or maybe too much to the front.
This was awful.
"Oh yeah. You guys don't know how good you have it. Those things were thick as diapers when I was your age. I used to always tie a sweater around my waist, during, just so that people couldn't see the outline through my pants. You should do that, by the way, because accidents happen." Said Reigen. Mob stood up. She had her hand on the latch. She could do this. She could go out there….but what if…
She felt like everyone would be able to tell.
And that would have been awful.
This was private. This was the most private. This was the most private thing that had ever happened to her.
"That's what happened to me. I was twelve and my school organized a trip for us because we were going on to middle school. Well we took this big day trip up to Tokyo tower. I was wearing these brand new, bright yellow, shorts….and you can see where this is going." Said Reigen
"Did…did everyone laugh…?" asked Mob. She would die. If that happened to her then she would just lay down and die. There was no other option. Either die or explode, so obviously she would just die.
"Actually, no. My friend practically threw her sweater around me and pulled me over to the bathroom. So I don't think too many people in my class saw…but we were on the viewing deck….so I can't speak for the people below us." Said Reigen with a dry chuckle. It was funny, now, but not so funny back then. She had been one of the first in her class, something else to set her apart from everyone….well at least she had a friend. Someone to take her to the bathroom and put twenty yen in the pad machine and walk her through it.
Everyone needed someone.
"Master….that's awful." Said Mob. Poor, poor, poor Master Reigen.
"No, really, it's ok. Honestly I look back at the whole thing and laugh. You will, too. Well maybe not laugh. You got to avoid the public humiliation at least." Said Reigen
"…but what if…I just feel like….like everyone can tell." Said Mob
"Well they can't. Unless you go around announcing it to the world they can't and even if they could they're the weirdos for caring. Seriously. Don't let anyone make you feel weird or bad about this. Half the population has to go through this. It's not a big thing." Said Reigen. Well it sort of was, but also not really. She wasn't going to give Mob any of that 'you're a woman now' shit because, well, Mob was not a woman. She was still the same person she had been an hour ago. She was just a person who was bleeding, now, that was all.
"I just….it's not?" asked Mob
"Hell no. It's normal. Anyone who tries to make you feel abnormal for this can go drink a cup of drain cleaner….and I know that's not a nice thing to say but, yeah, they can go drink a cup of drain cleaner. You're still you, Mob, and you're fine. This is just something that's going to happen sometimes. It doesn't change anything about you." Said Reigen
"But…I feel different…" said Mob. She was…mom said that she would be a woman when that happened. Well she didn't feel at all like a woman, she did not instantly grow up, but she did feel…different. More…aware? Aware of herself. She was getting older…and now she had proof of it…that time was passing….and that she wasn't a kid anymore. She wasn't a kid but she was not all grown up….either…
And she could have a baby, if she wanted to.
The thought makes the tile under her feet crack.
'Well, ok, you're not one hundred percent the same. Think of it like….like having a direct line to your body. Yeah, like you can just dial direct….but you're fourteen and you have no idea what that means…right…" said Reigen
"….and I get to have babies." Said Mob. She had a factory inside of herself for making people. She could make a person at any time if she wanted to….she had the power to create life…not like her powers but…but she could make a person….
Not that she had any plans of doing that. She wasn't even kissing yet.
"Whoa! Slow down there, Mob. I am not ready to open up a daycare center anytime soon." Said Reigen. Nope. No way. Mob was getting way ahead of herself. Haystack hadn't even kissed her yet and she was thinking about…yeah. No. None of that. She knew Mob wanted commitment but that was moving a bit too fast for Reigen's tastes.
"I didn't mean that I would! I just…if I wanted to I could make a person…" said Mob
"Yeah, and if I wanted to I could rob a bank, tell my mother off, and that new bag I want even though it would break me. Mob…listen…just because you can do something that doesn't make it a good idea." Said Reigen
"What does making babies have to do with robbing banks? I don't understand." Said Mob
"It's nothing just…just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you SHOULD do something. Ok? Just…slow down. I know you like Haystack a lot and I know you two have been through some serious shit but…just don't get ahead of yourself…" said Reigen
"I didn't mean with Teru…" said Mob, her face burning. Well now she could not come out of this bathroom stall for a whole other reason.
"With whoever. Mob just…I can't tell you what not to do….because trying to tell teenagers not to mess around is like trying to tell the tide not to come in….but you have to be…Mob be care. You're right, you can get pregnant now…and I don't want that for you. Sleeping with someone, not that I'm saying that you're planning on sleeping with Haystack or anyone else, is a big thing that you are not ready for. Trust me on this, you are not ready for any of this…." said Reigen.
"Is it really that bad?" asked Mob. She heard that it hurt. She heard that it wasn't very good. She even heard that sometimes the boy turned into a jerk afterwards and wanted nothing to do with you. Even Tome said that it started off just terrible…
"Bad? Um…it can be….but it's more like just…a lot. It's a lot to…to go through and right now you're going through enough. I'm not going to tell you that it's not right, I'm not going to give you the same spiel my mom gave to me about cows and milk and basic economics, and I'm not going to be upset with you if you do but….I just don't think that it's something that you need in your life right now. Yes, you're older, and yes, you can get pregnant and stuff like a woman but…you're not a woman yet. You're still just a kid." Said Reigen.
That was just the thing. Mom had said that Mob would be becoming a woman soon, they everything would change…that she would have to grow up. She would have to act like an adult and put away all of the things she liked like videogames and manga and stuff like that…and Mob didn't want that. Mom said that she would become a woman when this happened….but Master Reigen said that she could still be a kid….
There a silence.
The water stops flowing from the taps.
The lights stop flickering.
The stall door opened.
Mob threw her arms around Reigen.
"Master….thank you." Said Mob. She didn't know exactly what she was thanking Master Reigen for but she knew that she had to thank her. For helping her out. For being there. For always being there. For letting her be a kid. For letting her be more grown up. For just letting her….be.
Reigen hugged her back.
Mob needed it. She needed all the love that she could get. Not a girl, not a woman. That terrible, twilight, in between place. Mob needed someone to help her get through this. She needed help and Reigen would be there to help her. Reigen would always be there. Whether they were saving the world together or exorcising evil spirits together or just standing around having a heart to heart in the public bathroom she'd always be there for Mob.
Neither of them would have had it any other way.