It had been a spirit after all.
Reigen hadn't been worried about that. If there was no spirit then she could have come up with some spiritual bullshit, spread some salt around, and enjoyed her free one night hotel stay and paycheck. Well it had been a spirit so she really hadn't had to do much of anything at all. Just sit back and watch.
And watch she did.
Confident Serizawa was a rarely seen Serizawa. He was confident in his work, if anything, and it was...good. So good. The most good. Just the way he…everything. The energy that crackled around them when he cornered the spirit, the look in his eyes that clearly said 'I've got this', and the way, afterwards, when he just looked so very pleased with himself…
It was good.
Even what came after that. After he finished he immediately started fussing over her. He asked her if she was alright, if she was scared, if the spirit had done anything to her, etcetera. She told him over and over again that she was fine but it took him a while to be convinced. She missed confident Serizawa but concerned Serizawa was nice, too. He stuck around for a while but, eventually, he was replaced with regular Serizawa.
Regular Serizawa was nervous, stuttered, and acted like the world was going to explode at any second if he did anything, anything at all, wrong. Not that there was much that could go wrong. They reported back to the owner that they had gotten rid of the spirit, it had been the first thing that they did after they dropped their bags off, and Reigen collected their payment. Nothing to it at all. He really had no reason to be so nervous, he had been doing this job for a while now and it had to be easier than following crazy old Suzuki around the world and listening to him monologue about how he was the protagonist of the world, as Serizawa said that he was apt to do. She wondered, sometimes, where that man went. The man who could have done that, follow the maniac across the globe like it was nothing. Was he confident Serizawa? Or nervous Serizawa? Or concerned Serizawa? Or a version of himself that she had never seen before? She didn't know which Serizawa Suzuki had gotten and it didn't matter. She had Serizawa now.
Nervous Serizawa.
She didn't think that Serizawa could ever be any more nervous than she had seen him but she was mistaken. After she collected their payment the owner handed her the key to their room. Room. Singular room. Because her secretary, thank you Tome, said that she was only bringing one member of staff…and the owner had assumed that it would be a female member of staff. The owner also apologized that there were two queen beds instead of one king, like her 'secretary' had asked for.
Thanks Tome…thanks a lot.
Reigen assured the owner that this would be fine…and it would be. This was not a low-key smutty manga. They weren't going to step through the threshold and immediately rip each other's clothes off or start making declarations of undying love. They were adults. They were going to use that room only for eating, sleeping, bathing, watching TV, and maybe building a little fort. That was all. Really. She had no plans for it to be otherwise. She could share a room with a man without it turning into anything R18+.
"This is…really nice." Said Serizawa as they stepped through the threshold of room 999. He had figured that it would be like the hotel rooms had and the president stayed at when they traveled. One room but all divided up. Well this was one room with two beds…and a bathroom! He could sleep there! So she could have her privacy. Not that he was planning on invading her privacy or anything! No, she could have all the privacy she wanted! He'd go and sleep on a bench at the train station if that was what she wanted. The last thing that he wanted was to make Miss Reigen feel uncomfortable in any way.
"Yeah, they even brought our bags up for us." Said Reigen with a stretch. That train ride, and the cab ride to the hotel, had taken a lot out of her. Yeah, she was tired. Maybe she was even so tired that she would just climb into bed and pass right out. Yeah, maybe that would happen.
"That was nice of them." Said Serizawa. They both just stood there in the doorway. He didn't want to move until she did. That was the rule with the President….not that she was anything like the President.
"Yeah…it was. Really nice." Said Reigen. She didn't want to move until he moved. She had to gauge his comfort level here. The last thing that she wanted to do was make him uncomfortable. Not that she was planning on walking around naked or anything like that. She had packed pajamas, real ones. Not a slip or an oversized T-shirt. Yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt. Nice ones, though, not the ones she usually slept in with the inner thigh hole. Yeah, no, that would definitely not have been good sleepover attire.
She just had to think of this as a sleepover.
Not that kind of sleep over.
"Um….Miss Reigen?" asked Serizawa
"YES!? I mean, yes? What's up?" asked Reigen, a little too loudly. He was shuffling in place a little. She was prepared to hear anything. He wanted to wait for the next train, the five a.m. in the train station, he was walking back to Seasoning City, he had somehow spontaneously developed telepathy and knew all the thoughts that she been having about him and he wanted nothing more to do with her…
"I can sleep somewhere else if you want me to! I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything! I can just sleep in the bathroom or the hallway or at the train station if you want me to!" said Serizawa. To his surprise she didn't say yes or no or anything, no, she just started to giggle. She did that thing where she put her hand over her mouth and started to giggle.
He loved that sound.
"I-I'm sorry, Serizawa, but that was so…you! In a good, way, of course. Just…I'm not uncomfortable. There are two beds!" said Reigen with a laugh. She didn't mean to laugh at him and now he was probably going to take it the wrong way and-
"I-I know but I just thought…that you might be uncomfortable…you can have both beds if you want!" said Serizawa
"I'm not uncomfortable and I don't need two beds. I mean maybe if I feel like building a fort later…" said Reigen only half kidding.
"I can help with that! I'm good at making forts, Sho says so." Said Serizawa. Those were fun times, well the times when they made forts and stayed up all night playing videogames, not the times when the President made them do bad things…but he shouldn't think about that. He should just think of this as another sleepover. Yes. Just a grown man and a grown woman having a sleepover together. Nothing strange or risqué about that. Life was not like…art movies…just because they were two grown adults, a man and woman, presumably both heterosexual though he never thought to ask her, that did not mean that they were going to do…anything.
Not that he even wanted to.
That would be wrong.
"Well if Sho's willing to vouch for you…" said Reigen with a giggle. A high pitched sort of giggle that women her age did not make.
"We could have a fort war if you want." Said Serizawa before he could stop himself. She was a grown woman, she would not want to spend the night throwing pillows and blankets at each other like children.
"A war? What's the prize?" asked Reigen. Always a fun game, fort war, though she hadn't played in years. She had found other things to do in bed…don't think about him like that. Look him in the eye…not that much! No, don't look down. He's not that tall! Stop thinking about whether or not you can wrap your arms around his shoulders! Stop making so much eye contact!
"Winner's choice?" asked Serizawa, his voice getting a little high at the end. She was looking at him like…nobody had ever looked at him like that…and he liked it.
"Whatever I want?" asked Reigen with another giggle. She almost reached up and played with her hair. Arataki, no, just no.
"Of course." Said Serizawa. She was still looking at him like that and he never wanted her to stop…but he should not have been thinking so much into it…or how close she was…or how close she could be…
"So you think that I'll win?" asked Reigen
"I'd let you win." Said Serizawa simply. He was a little closer to her, now. He could see the powder on her eyelids, where it wasn't blended all the way. The strand of hair that had gotten loose from her ponytail. The way her bangs were a little uneven. The way the light hit her hair…
"What's the fun in that? I want a real victory, Serizawa." said Reigen, her voice a little lower, and she herself getting a little closer, than she had intended.
"…you could beat me at anything, Miss Reigen…you're amazing." Said Serizawa. mentally he kicked himself. That was one of those things that he should have only thought! Now she probably thought that he was some kind of weirdo for having thoughts like that about her and-
"You are too, you know." Said Reigen. She was aware, now, of how close she was standing to him. Stop it, Arataki. You're almost thirty years old, you're acting like a hormone addled, love struck, restless teenager.
"I'm not…" said Serizawa softly. Reigen didn't think. She reached over and took his hand. His eyes met hers. Her eyes met his.
"Serizawa, you saved my life. You helped me save the kids' lives. You gave up everything you knew to…to…Serizawa you're brave and…and amazing. I think that you are the most amazing man that I have ever met in my life and I am so glad to have you…to have met you." Said Reigen. She felt drunk. She hadn't had a drop of anything stronger than tea all day but she felt drunk. His hand in hers…their proximity…she felt like doing something stupid. It would be easy…so easy…too easy…
"Miss Reigen…" said Serizawa. He thought that she was the bravest person he had ever known. He thought that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He thought that she was the nicest, smartest, most patient and caring and compassionate and understanding person on the planet. He wanted to tell her all of that…but he didn't know how. Words were hard. He didn't have any right then. She was close…and she could have been closer. He felt…he felt like he was going to die…but in a good way. He wanted…he wanted to do something stupid. The stupidest thing that he had ever done in his life…
"Serizawa?" asked Reigen. His hand was still in hers. She could have let go at any time…but she felt kind of like being a stupid teenager right about now…it would have been easy…so easy…
"I think…I think that you're amazing and…and there are a lot of things that I want to say to you…but I just…don't know how and…" said Serizawa
"And?" asked Reigen softly
"And I don't know…how." Said Serizawa just as softly. He could feel her nail under his thumb. It was…soft. Her whole hand was soft. Everything about her was just so…soft looking. Her hair, her skin, and even her eyes had a soft look to them…then…so soft…and so blue…
"Um…right or the left!?" asked Reigen suddenly. No. She was not going to do that to him. She was not going to be stupid and ruin everything. She took a step back from him, from them, from the situation that she had almost gotten herself into. Gotten them into.
"Huh?" asked Serizawa with a blink that would have been right at home on an anime character. She had been right there…and now she wasn't…well she was but it felt like she wasn't.
"Beds! Right or the left?!" asked Reigen motioning to the beds behind them.
"Uh…away from the windows I guess….I don't really like…windows." Said Serizawa. How could he have been so stupid? Of course she didn't want to be with him like that! This was Miss Reigen, she could have any man she wanted, any at all. She wanted a man that was as brave as she was, as smart as she was, someone who could keep up with her. Someone who didn't get nervous when he looked at the sky for too long or when he couldn't bag his groceries fast enough or when he was in a crowd that was too big. Someone who didn't need to have an elaborate going to bed and getting up procedure just so that he didn't get trapped in his room…
She deserved much better than what he could be.
"Right, right, sorry I forgot. Anyway, wow, this is some hotel room, huh? Western style, very comfortable. Not that I have anything against traditional accommodations, this is just more of what I'm used to…" said Reigen. She began to ramble, she tended to do what when she was nervous, fill the atmosphere with words so it didn't get filled with anything else, when she felt cornered. Not that he had cornered her. No, she had cornered herself. How could she have almost done something so stupid? What was wrong with her? Was there something in the water? Did she hit her head at some point and not remember? Was she possessed by that spirit from earlier? She did not know. At least she had the self-awareness to stop herself before she went too far…
Serizawa was so grateful, then, that she was alright. If he had made her uncomfortable then she would have said something. Still, though, he could not believe that he had almost done something so…stupid. Reckless. Thoughtless. She did not like him like that…she could not like him like that…
But he liked her like that.
And he didn't know how to make himself stop. Even watching her pace the room and talk about…he had lost track of what she was talking about….was sending butterflies into his stomach and throughout his entire body. It wasn't just physical, there was a lot of that of course, but there was also the fact that…that she saw something in him. She saw something in him beyond a pawn to be used or…or something terrible and dangerous that needed to be hidden away. She saw him as a person…
And he saw her as everything.
But she could never see him like that. No matter how badly he wanted her to stop pacing the room and sit down on the bed next to him and take his hand…he would never ask that of her. He would never put her on the spot like that. He would never ask…because that was not something that she was willing to give. He was sure of it, as sure of it as he was of the fact that…that nothing was going to happen.
She had flopped down on her bed, now. Her own bed.
Nothing was going to happen.
He tried to keep his thoughts from going beyond hand holding…and even that he should have stopped himself from thinking about. She had thrown herself down, backwards, onto her bed. She was looking up at the ceiling and she was still talking. Her hair was fanned out around her like an aura. Yellow, reddish yellow….strawberry blond. That was the name of her hair color. Strawberry blond. It could have been her aura. The way the light, the dying light, was hitting her…the rosy flush across her cheeks…the way she kicked her leg as she told him about…something. He really should listen…he should pay attention to what she saying, not the way she looked…
But she was just so beautiful.
She was so fucking beautiful.
"….which are much better for your back than foam beds. Seriously, never get a foam bed unless you want back problems. Not that I would know why you would even want back problems. Not that I think that you would…even…" said Reigen. She could not stop talking. It was just like that when she was on that damned TV show all those months ago. She just could not stop running her mouth. She couldn't stop talking because if she did then…then they that question would hang in the atmosphere.
What now?
But she had paused for too long and now the question was there, hovering, above them. He was looking at her…really looking at her. She had thrown herself down on the bed to stop herself from pacing like a caged tiger but now she felt…stuck. Trapped. Because if she got up then he would stop looking at her like that…and she never wanted him to stop looking at her like that. She knew that she must have been imagining that look in his eyes…that look of pure adoration…the way he was looking at her like she was the answer to every prayer that he had ever said…and she didn't even know if he was the praying type…but he was looking at her like she was…
She had no more words.
She had run out of words.
The words had died on her lips like the last of the sunlight was dying behind the horizon. The question was there, in the atmosphere, and it was not going away. It refused to die. She didn't know why. It wasn't like there could be a next. She did not need to do that to him, to make him have something new to worry about. He needed one more thing to worry about like she needed another bag of table salt. If she were to do what she wanted, sit up, get up, walk over, and just kiss him senseless….well then that would just be stupid.
He didn't need that from her.
He didn't want that from her.
Even though he was staring at her, now, like he wanted her. Like he wanted her in every single way a person could want another. Like…like nobody had ever looked at her before….and she was looking at him….too…and they were there…together…
"M-Miss Reigen?" asked Serizawa. He just…he felt like he was going to pass out of explode or something…there was just something in the atmosphere…something that he could not name…invisible but everywhere…hanging over them…
"Ser-Serizawa?" asked Reigen, her voice soft, so soft, then. So quiet. She was whispering. She didn't know why she was whispering. Maybe because she had run out of words, before…and even now she was running low…
"I-I…I think that you're…I just think…I shouldn't tell you…I just…I don't know. There are just so many things that I want to say to you but…but if I did then…even then I wouldn't know…how." Said Serizawa softly, just as softly as she had spoken. He didn't know why they were whispering. For once they were alone. No kids around, no clients, just him and her…all alone. There. In a borrowed room. Not the office. A room that they would never, ever, be in again. A room that could…that could seem to exist outside of…but it didn't. What happened in this room would not stay in this room. What he said in this room would not stay in this room…
"Yeah…me neither." Said Reigen. She had a million and one things to say to him…but she had no idea how to go about saying them…or even if she should. He seemed like he had something to say which was akin to what she had to say…but even if he did say it…then what? What then? Where would they go from there? She knew the power the rooms like this had, borrowed rooms, the power to keep secrets. A borrowed room like this was made to keep secrets, it seemed, because it almost seemed to be a world all of it's own. But it was not. It was a part of the world and what happened in that room would…would follow them out into the world…
"Just…but I feel like if I don't say it to you…then I might just…I don't know." Said Serizawa. He wanted so badly to tell her just to get an answer. He knew that the way he felt was wrong, that it could never happen, so maybe if she said no then these feelings would just go away…if he even wanted them to just go away…
"Same. I mean…I don't want to…to put you on the spot or to…to make you uncomfortable…because there's a lot of shit going on in your life right now…and you don't need me adding to it. You don't need that kind of shit from me." Said Reigen
"…I can decide that for myself…the things that I can handle…in my life I mean. What I can deal with, I mean." said Serizawa. She added to his life but never, ever, ever anything negative. If anything she made his life so much better. He had no how much better but he didn't want to even begin to try and quantify it.
"I know. Your life is your own but…but I would never make you feel obligated to me. Beholden to me." Said Reigen
"I'm not. I'm here because…because I want to be with you. I don't feel like…sometimes I think of you as the President, the way I-I was with him…but you're not him and the way I feel about you is…is nothing like what I felt about him. The way I feel about you is…it's not obligation. I don't feel like I owe you my life but I do feel like…like I want to be with you…just because." Said Serizawa
"Because?" asked Reigen
"Because you are so…amazing. You are so amazing and…and brave. You're the bravest person that I have ever met. The way you just…you tried to shoot the President with a toy gun…you almost died..." Said Serizawa
"You saved my life." Said Reigen because, well, he had. If not for him then she would not have been sitting there. He hadn't known her but he had still risked his life to save her…
"It was…it was the right thing to do. I had just…had enough, I guess. I'd had enough of hurting people and watching them get hurt…but I felt so powerless to stop…but then I saw you…and what you did…and I felt like doing something courageous for once…and I couldn't let you die. I didn't know if…if I would survive but I knew that I couldn't let you die…and I still wouldn't. I will always be there to protect you…for as long as you'll have me." Said Serizawa
"I…I want you to…I mean I don't need protection but…but thank you. I just…I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to be with me…in any way." said Reigen
"I'm with you because I want to be, not because I have to be. My life is my own and I choose to be here, anywhere, with you…Miss Reigen." Said Serizawa
"I-I want to be here with you, too, Serizawa. I want…I want a lot…and I don't want you to ever feel like you have to go along with something just because I want it…" said Reigen
"What if…what if I wanted it too?" said Serizawa
"…what do you want?" asked Reigen
"To be with you…that's all. I want to…to always be with you. I mean…I think about you all the time and when I see you…I'm just so happy…and then when I go home, on my way home I mean, all I can think about is seeing you again…or just messaging you…but seeing you is better. I just…I want to be with you because I…I…" said Serizawa
"You what?" asked Reigen. Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it pounding against her ribcage. She was sitting up now, facing him. He was red. She was red, she could feel it, and it could maybe even be seen through her makeup.
"….I like you…" said Serizawa. There. He said it. He had wanted to say it for weeks now. Maybe since he met her, the woman brave enough to face the most powerful man on Earth with a toy gun, the woman who never once gave up…the woman who saw something in him that nobody else had ever seen before. He liked her. He liked her and she knew and she would…she would say something. She would say something and he would accept whatever she had to say.
"…same…."said Reigen. There was a pause, a long one. He faced her. She faced him. Two beds. Separate beds. Space between them. The length of a nightstand. The sun was almost dead, gone to visit the other side of the world, and Reigen wished that she could go with it. She wished that she could escape it, the question that had been hanging over her head, his head, their heads, for weeks now.
What next?