Burning the Midnight Oil

Chapter 15

The Scapegoat

~Futaro~

"I'm so screwed. Oh," Nino moaned over her coffee.

Yotsuba placidly patted her sister's back in a vain show at comfort, "Oh, don't say that now."

Futaro leaned back and said, "It's no use, she's been like this since your texts."

He sipped his water, set it on the table and enjoyed the warmth radiating from the overhead heat lamps. He'd tried in his own way to bring Nino out of her worry, his own way being more of a forceful tug to Yotsuba's gentle ministrations. But she'd stayed locked in her worrying despair all the way to this 24-hour fast food joint, the closest they'd find to a cafe at this hour, and Yotsuba's recommendation for a meeting place.

Futaro slid Nino's phone from her lazy grip to look at the picture that haunted her screen. "Any idea who took this?"

Yotsuba said, "One of the girls in our class. See the handle?"

"What's a handle?"

"Ah, username."

"Why can't they just call it that?" Futaro growled.

Yotsuba giggled, "You're such an old man, Futaro." Her brief diversion in humor was derailed by Nino's fiery glare. Futaro curiusly looked on as Yotsuba appeared chastised and laughed lamely, guiltily, for reasons lost to him.

Nino said, "What do you think about this?"

Yotsuba grimaced, "Huh? I don't get it."

"Remember when we found out Ichika was working as an actress and she had to hide in her room to get away from all our questions? You should be hounding me just as hard, I know I would. But not this time. You're taking this way too well."

"What? Oh! No, it's not that weird."

"Really? The dating? The hiding? The tweet-"

Futaro interrupted, "That, she did not take well at all-"

"-everything! You're acting weird." Nino stood up and towered over Yotsuba, trapping her like a bunny in a snare, "What do you know?"

Yotsuba wilted until the only thing firm was her lips pressed into a solid line of impenetrability. She leaned away, and looked ready to lean farther, farther, all the way until her chair tipped if necessary, anything to get her out of the spotlight. But a brave, gallant savior came to her rescue before gravity claimed her as its victim.

Futaro said, "Everything."

Nino's head spun so quickly her hair followed in whiplash, "How?"

"I told her."

"You!?"

"Yes, me."

"Yes, him!" Yotsuba exclaimed, throwing her hands up in victory. "I kept my secret to the end!" She hollared, immensely proud with herself.

"But why!?" Nino asked in shock.

"Why what?" Futaro replied.

"Why would you tell her! I told you not to tell anyone!"

"And I didn't, not after you told me not to. But I'd already told her everything before that, so it didn't make sense keeping her in the dark."

Nino looked at Yotsuba with disbelief, "But...you're a horrible liar!"

Yotsuba gave a peace sign, "Can't lie if no one asks!"

Nino's head was on a loose swivel between her radiant sister and her impassive, cleverly clandestine boyfriend. She sat down and crossed her arms in a huff, eyeing him with flaming daggers, "You should have told me."

He shrugged, "You didn't want your sisters knowing. We just made it seem that way." Futaro slid her phone over the table, "Let's get back to this. So you know the girl who posted this?"

Nino's eyes were still burning into him when she took her phone and unlocked it. The screen came alive with the damning proof of their dalliance. "Yeah, I know her too. She's a blabbermouth. It's no wonder they can't tell us apart, though. We're too alike to everyone with my hair this short, and with the lighting, even we'd have trouble telling who it is." She ran a hand slowly through her shortened locks and pondered, "Maybe I should grow it out again."

Yotsuba said, "She thought Uesegi and I were dating a few weeks ago, that might be why."

Nino glared, "And why would she think that?"

Futaro asked, "You think she saw us working out?"

Nino's eyes lit up, "You work out?"

Yotsuba shook her head, "No, this was before that started. She was just making assumptions."

Nino threw her hands up in a cross, "Time out. Go back, like, however far back you have to go. What the hell is happening?"

Futaro glanced her way, "Ah, right. There's that too. I asked her to help me exercise."

"I'm tutoring him back!" Yotsuba said proudly.

"She can be cruel."

Nino glared at him and Futaro wondered if this was their new normal. "You're telling me everything later. Got it?"

"Deal," he said, expecting nothing less. He held out his hand, silently asking for her phone. Nino handed it over and he scrutinized the picture, "Well it's out there now. We should tell your sisters before they find out through their phones, it'd be better that way."

Nino paled and sipped her coffee for a long time. Futaro shifted to ask Yotsuba, but she'd done the same, so that the two looked like reflections in a mirror. The quintuplets should consider show business, he imagined some plucky magician would put their flawless parallels to good use. He said, "Okay, out with it."

Yotsuba asked Nino, "He really doesn't know?"

"Not a clue."

"Not even about Miku?"

"He's as much a space case as she is. You didn't tell him about it?"

"Does it look like I told him anything?"

Futaro growled and asked, "What's this got to do with Miku? I've waited long enough for an answer."

Yotsuba looked at him in awe, "Wow, Futaro. You have an idiot point after all."

Nino almost grinned through her melancholy, "More than one, I promise."

Futaro waited with all the patience of a flock of birds competing for the kindly old man's breadcrumbs, which wasn't much at all. "Come on, get on with it already."

Nino leaned in, "Remember how Miku wanted a book picked especially for her?"

"Yeah."

Yotsuba continued, "And how Ichika keeps pushing boxes of treats your way?"

"Uh-huh."

Nino asked, "Why do you think they do that."

"They're my friends. Miku trusts my tastes and Ichika is being kind."

"No." Nino said.

"Yes." Futaro replied.

Yotsuba's mouth opened in astonishment, as if he'd shapeshifted into a long-neglected imaginary friend, "Wow."

Nino concurred, "See? He's stubborn as a traffic jam in the holidays, nothing new gets through."

"Is that so. Enlighten me, then. Be my tutor."

Nino leaned in and tongued four letters: L. O. V. E.

The events of the last two weeks, and particularly this evening, have loosened Futaro's understanding of his own humanity like a child first learning to run, but he was a long way from his first marathon. His mind was a wonderful machine of prediction, ready to lump every experience into its proper folder in the great library of the mind. Everything properly labeled and stored for later use, and never to move without his explicit permission. He did this for everything: facts, theories, conundrums, relationships and beyond. He was still learning the hard way how far the latter was out of his absolute control. Relationships were a two-way street, and his have been limited to his family, unbreakable for life, for so long he saw no reason to think of them differently. But with others outside that unbreakable sphere, they were changeable, dynamic, and always flowing both ways.

Miku and Ichika, and the rest too, were his students. Then his partners. Then his friends. Yes, he thought he could call them that now. Or he thought so, he desperately wanted to think that's all they would be. But the sisters had changed those flexible definitions on their own, without his permission or, apparently, his notice. He should have learned with Nino this was the norm, not the exception. But hadn't Nino always been his exception? Why would this fundamental aspect of human interaction be any different? But it was, oh it was, and it was a disaster.

His mind poured through its folders marked 'Ichika' and 'Miku' and recalled every memory in a historic flood to wipe clean the pungent stables of assumption. He thought back to every look of appreciation, every embarrassed blush, every little kindness and every quiet request he'd thought of as normal between friends, and now, knowing what he might find, he saw it: the hope, the desire, the love. It was devastating.

Futaro leaned back and said, "Tell me you're kidding."

Nino, who'd enjoyed watching the dawning of realization spread over his face to give way to horror, shook her head, "I can't lie to you, darling Fuu." Darn her, did she have to enjoy this so much!?

He turned to Yotsuba as a dying man in the desert turns to an oasis, but that hope was equally a mirage. She said, "All true, don't you know? You're a popular guy."

"That's not possible."

"You're good at everything else. It makes sense you'd be good at dating too."

"Eh," Nino mused, rocking a steady hand like a ship rolling on waves. It earned a sharp giggle from Yotsuba. Futaro glared, Nino might blame him for keeping Yotsuba in the loop, but look how happy she was having someone to complain to.

Futaro fumed, "Anything else I should know about?"

Yotsuba asked, "Like what?" Futaro continued glaring at her until she got the point. She squirmed and said, "What, me? No! No no no no no! We're not like that, I swear!"

"Good," Nino said, hinting irritation.

Futaro nodded, "And Itsuki?"

Nino asked, "Definitely not, she told me. I remember a distinctive 'ew' being said."

Futaro nodded and mused, "So three out of the five of you. What a mess."

"Why do you have to say it like that?"

Yotsuba mused, "He's always upset when he gets anything less than a perfect score."

Futaro said through grit teeth, "That has nothing to do with this!"

Nino warned, "It better not."

Yotsuba backed off, "It's a joke guys, a joke!"

Nino rolled her eyes and looked at Futaro, "So that's why I didn't want them knowing. Not yet."

"Until when, then?" he asked.

"Until the right moment." She knit her fingers and bowed her head into her hands, "I don't know when, I just knew I'd tell everyone when the time was right."

Futaro said, "Well, it better be soon."

Nino tightened her grip, "I know," she said mournfully, then hardened, "So let's do it."

"Right now?"

She stood resolute, "Yeah, right now. Let's go!"

She grabbed her half-empty coffee and made to leave, and freezing in a cold snap at her first step. Her body went rigid in place as if and released from the flow of time. All she needed was a burst of energy, a bundle he could see set ready to unleash itself in her with but a meager hint at permission. But she hesitated. Futaro saw a shadow in her, a fear he somehow felt he could understand, but remained ineffably buried in the blackness of her eyes. It was a ghoul hidden from sight snaring her initiative in its powerful fingers, leaving only the fear and doubt. And Futaro could guess why. She felt the same fear he felt for his own relationships: a fear of losing control of what she loved.

Futaro stood and moved closer to her, grabbing her shoulders as he softly said her name. She couldn't look at him, her eyes still focused on what lay ahead.

"Nino, we have to go."

She whispered, "I know."

"Maybe we don't."

Futaro turned to Yotsuba, "What do you mean?"

Yotsuba pulled up her phone and the incriminating post, "See this? No one's retweeted this yet. It isn't trending."

Futaro asked, "Retweeting?"

"It means it isn't spreading, most of our class is asleep and will probably miss it. If it doesn't spread, they never have to know. At least not through this."

Futaro said, "Okay, but we need to tell them."

"But now? In the middle of the night? Why don't you wait until after class, or lunch even, and tell them one at a time?"

"What if someone brings it up before us? Anyone who sees it is going to think it's you instead of Nino."

"So let them! We play it off. Letting them think it for a day isn't going to hurt anyone. I can play the part if anyone asks me, since no one ever talks to you!" She looked to Nino and lowered her voice, softening it like an ointment, "And it'll let you tell them how you want. What do you say?"

Nino didn't say anything for a moment, but she visibly softened as if the ghoul's grip was peeled away by an angel's divine touch. Yotsuba's plan gave her back just enough control to accept. "Let's check the post in the morning. If it still isn't spreading, then maybe."

Futaro took her hand and gripped it. She looked up at him with so many questions. She was as uncertain as their first night over the cake shop after revealing her mother's tumultuous feelings for her second child. What doubts he had about the plan faded under her look, if this gave her a measure of comfort, what did risk matter? "Okay, let's do it."

Yotsuba smiled with all the confidence he lacked. "We'll head back then, the others are still asleep. See you tomorrow?"

"Sounds good. See you, Yotsuba." He turned to Nino, his grip on her hand pulsing like a heartbeat, "I'll see you too."

"Yeah," she said lowly. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, ignoring Yotsuba's gasp. Nino leaned in and hugged him goodbye, and then left for uncertainty.

Futaro had time to mull over the night on his walk home, but his track record for deciphering riddles of relationship grew ever worse by the time he stepped inside. He saw his futon already prepped on the floor, a loving gift from his attentive sister. He could have ended his night there, but the unanswerable question would linger. So he turned to the man who seemed to have all the answers.

His father grunted as he shook him, "Wha?"

"Dad, it's me."

"What time is it?"

"Past one."

"Already? Coulda sworn I set the-"

"In the morning."

"Ah. And you up for, bud?"

"Can we talk outside?"

"About?"

"Please."

The magic word had a sobering affect of his father, his eyes sharpening like light through a magnifying glass. "Gimme a minute." His father threw on a coat and the two headed outside. He leaned on the railing and asked, "What's up?"

Futaro didn't have a well-formed question to ask, more of a concept, so he told father everything, the entire story of tonight and what its revelation meant for all the past nights with the Nakanos. His father listened stone-faced, either from concentration or exhaustion, but he listened well. When Futaro finished in the same place they found themselves now, he asked, "So what do you think? Are we doing the right thing?"

"Keeping it quiet until tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"No idea."

Futaro blinked, "Nothing?"

"What? It's a tough one."

Futaro sighed, "Yeah, guess it is. I should've seen this coming. It should never have been a secret."

"And you won't do any good ruminating over it now. You made your choice, all that's left is to see how it plays out."

"But is this the best way? Or should we have told them tonight. I don't know."

"Sometimes there isn't a right answer."

"Not what I'm looking for."

"Hear me out, I know why you're coming to me with this. I'm glad you can admit that there are some things you can't figure out on your own. It's good that you're seeing that now, Futaro. But you still think there's always one right way of doing things, and if you can just figure it out, everything'll fall in line."

"There's always a best case, at least. I just want to know this is the right one."

"Aye, and the best laid often always go awry. You can pick the perfect path and still have everything go wrong, you can never know how it'll turn out. That's the hard truth, Futaro. Sometimes the unknown stays that way."

Futaro grumbled, "I was afraid you'd say something like that."

"It's easy in school, isn't it? You study, you pass. You study more, you get a perfect score. Predictable. Nothing you do after this will follow that simple logic. Uncertainty is the only certainty in life, so you're going to have to learn to live with it."

Only two weeks ago he'd have stormed away and thrown his father's words in the mental recycling bin. But his words had proved almost prophetic before, so he mulled them over, scavanging for a hidden meaning. His father saw this and slugged his shoulder, "Hey, stop being so serious. You had a good night, don't let this ruin it. You'll take it in stride."

"Will I?" Futaro asked so quickly it surprised him. "What would you have done, if you were me?"

"I would've told them long ago, but you can't blame yourselves for that."

"I mean now, if you were me, would you be doing the same thing?"

His father eyed him mischievously, "Who knows? I guess we'll find out." And Futaro knew he wouldn't tell him more, he wouldn't place his own expectations on his son, not now. He turned and moved to head inside, then paused, "You're definitely my son."

"What?"

"You talk with five girls in five years and three of them fell in love with you. Good odds, my boy."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"I can't wait to tell Raiha."

"Don't you dare!"

"No secrets!" His father laughed and opened the door.

~Nino~

The dreaded dawn. A sunrise on the last day of tranquility in the home. Nino lay buried in her sheets like an egg in an incubator and watched its radiance rise thought the window. Every centimeter it inched its way higher. Soon it would reach its apex and begin its journey over the horizon. And between all that would be the moment she tested her sisterhood. Every centimeter of light was the inevitable crawling a little bit closer. She curled herself tighter in her blanket as if to hide from the ominous incandescence.

"Nino, get up. We're leaving in half an hour," Itsuki said though the crack in the sliding door.

Nino pushed herself up and shed her shield. The sunlight felt surprisingly cool on her freshly hatched skin. She checked her phone and found the post. It was no longer completely unnoticed, having been retweeted thrice, but it appeared to be buried in the news of the morning. She hoped it would stay that way.

Nino changed and joined her sisters in the living room. She saw plated sausages and bowls of rice topped with raw eggs waiting for them. "Who made this?"

"I did," Yotsuba said from the kitchen while washing a skillet, one of several cookware lying about waiting for their turn in the sink.

Ichika said, "She was already at it when I got up."

Yotsuba laughed lamely, "I was up early, I didn't sleep well." Nino wondered if anyone else caught the uncertainty lying in her words.

Miku sat and said, "Futaro isn't going to be happy when he hears that."

Yotsuba grinned, "Oh, he's probably got something more serious on his mind."

Miku asked, "Like the mock exams."

"Right! So let's eat up and be ready to do our best!"

Ichika smiled, "I wish I had your optimism, it's infectious."

"You could use it," Itsuki muttered, looking at her phone.

"Why's that?" Nino asked, a looming sense of dread wrapping her like a mummy for burial.

Itsuki turned her phone and showed them a post, "Check this out, Ichika. You're famous."

Ichika took the phone and her eyes blew up, "Oh, no."

Itsuki grinned, "I'm not even going to count how many posts there are. Looks like your movie's a hit with the classmates. You'll be riding the waves of adoring fans, I think."

Nino breathed in relief, she went unnoticed next to Ichika's well-disguised chagrin. Ichika smiled thinly through her discomfort, "Ah, won't that just be lovely." She lifted her purse and checked inside. Itsuki adroitly shuck up beside her and reached inside, removing a handful of accessories. "Hey!"

"No hiding today, or they'll come after us."

Miku said, "They'll do that anyways, half of them still can't tell us apart."

Nino felt a sudden explosion of hope. Ichika's movie, of course! That'd be the talk of the school, at least for the day! Couple gossip was so common as to be boring, but a movie star would steal everyone's attention! She looked at Yotsuba, who also wore her relief a little too obviously.

The food tasted much better without the noose resting around her neck. Nino was able to settle into her normal rapport among her sisters, joining Itsuki in her relentless teasing of Ichika's infectious fanbase that was sure to show her plenty of love today. It was a very good meal to begin their day.

It would be their last for a long time.

She threw on her makeup with practiced padding and strokes with more joy than she'd awoken with. The challenge of confessing her romance didn't seem so daunting now, maybe Ichika's chaos would soften her up for the blow. She was hopeful as she divided the lunchboxes she'd made yesterday morning, performing her familial role as comfortably as ever.

The walk to school would be the last uneventful activity of the day. The moment they reached the lockers and took out their school shoes, whispers were already buzzing by their ears. Nino spotted a few pointed fingers and hushed words, those who knew were spreading the word that someone in their school had debuted on the big screen. No one had stepped forward to interrupt their morning routine yet, but it was only a matter of time, a pot on the stove just waiting to boil over.

Ichika announced she needed to use the restroom and Nino volunteered to join her. They split up, Nino and Ichika making way to the lavatory and the rest headed to class.

"You see their eyes on me?"

"On us. Don't give them too much credit."

"Even with the hair-"

"-the accessories-"

"-your glare-"

"-the, wait, what?"

Ichika just grinned and carried on.

They ventured into the restroom and Ichika found a stall. Nino was waiting for her to finish when the door burst open. She turned and saw a pair of girls staring at her. One giggled and nudged her friend, who said, "Excuse me, Nakano?"

"Yeah?"

"We just wanted to say," she giggled and her friend pushed her again, "that your movie was awesome!"

"Huh?" Nino glanced back at the stall, door shut tight. "Ah, yeah, that."

"Were you at the premiere? I saw the trailer but didn't realize it was you!"

Nino was certain these girls couldn't tell an antelope from an aardvark, but she let it pass and played her part, "Well I wasn't in it for long, so it's not surprising. I'm heading back to class. Walk with me?" She led them out of the restroom and left Ichika to a sliver of quiet.

They happily chatted her heels off on the way to class and she humored their lively questioning all the way. A few more students, two girls and one boy, joined her entourage before she finally reached the classroom door. She turned and said, "Well, time to hit the books. It's been fun. Oh, and one more thing," she leaned in and leered, "I'm Nino, her sister." She let the revelation trickle their faces pink before wagging her fingers in farewell and entering her class.

She passed Futaro's desk on the way in, his eyes were on her, having seen the very end of things. His big brain probably fit the pieces together. She tapped his desk lightly in passing and flicked her hair to flash her earrings at him before taking her seat near the back.

Miku perked up behind her, "They did the same thing to me."

"What about Yotsuba, or Itsuki?"

Miku pointed to Yotsuba up front. She was frantic as a jackrabbit prepping the room for the day, "Even they couldn't confuse her for Ichika. I think they had to guess between Itsuki and me, and they chose me."

"What'd you do?"

"Turned my music up."

Nino laughed and gave her a high five, which Miku meekly returned, "Nice one."

The minutes ticked by and Ichika still hadn't arrived. Futaro and Yotsuba were ready to call the class to attention when Ichika finally bolted through the door, saying, "Sorry, sorry. Got a little held up."

Yotsuba said, "It's okay, go ahead, we're just about to begin." Ichika took the long way around the pair to her desk and took her seat.

Lecture followed its usual pattern of mundanity. Nino struggled against old patterns of indifference and inattentiveness ingrained by years of shifting priorities. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, especially not Futaro, at least not yet, but she had a dream. She was going to pass her exams with flying colors, or bar that, acceptable colors, and join Futaro at University. It was a long shot, she knew that better than anyone, even him, but she was ready for the challenge. She wasn't letting him go now. So she focused as best she could, taking notes like Futaro taught her against her will, using it as the chisel to carve herself a place at his University.

The air was alive with tension just waiting to be broken. Students' eyes dashed greedily towards Ichika who could no longer escape their attention. The clock ticked patiently, apathetic to Ichika's growing torment, towards the first bell. And when it chimed, ending their first period of the day, the tension snapped like a catapult firing its deathly cargo. They surrounded the young actress and exclaimed their astonishment, their envy and their well-wishes with all the urgency the young always possess. Ichika had readied herself for the onslaught and took it with grace, slowly working her way through the circle, focusing on a person at a time instead of the crowd. Nino wondered if her manager had coached her for this. He probably had, he carried her this far and seemed to know what he was doing.

Itsuki slid up to her desk and whispered, "I'm afraid to leave, everyone will think I'm her."

"I know! She was in the stall when they took me for her! She's lucky I was there to distract them."

"Really? In the toilet?"

"I know! What happened to propriety!?"

"The price of fame," Itsuki grimaced and glanced to her sister, "I don't envy her. Do you?"

"Maybe a little."

"No way."

"Just a little!" Nino groaned and slid into her chair. But it was true, it must be nice to have strangers look at you so kindly. People Ichika barely knew were loving her.

"Itsuki," Ichika said after breaking through her crowd, "Can you come with me to the toilet?"

Itsuki sighed, "Alright," she stood and waved Nino goodbye. The two took off, and Nino wished them a quiet restroom visit. She wondered if Ichika had brought Itsuki along as another doppelganger so she could use the toilet in peace.

She glanced at Futaro, her boyfriend's nose was already brushing the pages of his study guide. She saw Takeda say something in passing, going completely over Futaro's head. He sighed and went back to his seat. She returned to her notes until the next period began. Right before it did, Itsuki and Ichika returned from the restroom. Itsuki was noticeably stiffer than before and Nino wondered what she had to do to keep Ichika's relief a private affair. She planned to ask at their next break.

Only she didn't have to ask. A soon as second period ended, Itsuki asked her, "Can I talk with you?"

Nino said, "Sure, what's up?"

Itsuki dragged her chair to Nino's desk and sat. As she did, Nino felt a warning that whatever was to come would be unpleasant. It was one of Itsuki's lingering traits, she radiated concern when she felt it like a leaking Soviet nuclear plant, infecting everyone downwind with her worry and her empathy. It was a powerful balm after whatever unpleasantness has passed, or a premonition of disaster before it came.

"I don't really know how to say this."

Nino bit her lip and waited, paralyzed with what she new must be coming.

"Last break, Ichika told me something, about Uesugi and Yotsuba. See, it turns out, they're together." Itsuki waited for some reaction, Nino had none to give. Horror is Botox to expression. Itsuki continued, "We don't know for how long, but it looks like it's been going on for a while."

Nino found the muscles to her mouth and asked, "How does she know?"

"Before first period, when you drew those girls away, she stayed in the stall to avoid anyone else. She was scrolling her feed and saw, well, someone posted something."

Nino's mind shifted into higher gear as panic beat in her chest. She stood and scanned the class, "Where's Ichika?"

"She asked me to tell you, she took Miku to-Nino?"

Nino bolted through the classroom doors and stormed the halls. She picked a direction and moved with enough haste to turn heads, and not because of her likeness to a face on the silver screen. She hated having to search at random, leaving a quick reunion to chance. It was leaving this to chance in the first place that got her into this boiling mess. She told herself that if she could just make it before Ichika told Miku, it would...but what would it change? The news was out, and spreading through her family. What good would controlling the fire when the living room was already embers? But it had to start somewhere, she felt she had to seize whatever was left to grasp.

She found them by the lockers. She knew at a glance she arrived too late. Miku kept a thin plane of glass between the world and her introversion. Her eyes were always somewhere off in the distance. But there was confidence in her isolation, a sense of assuredness in herself that sprung from her soul like a well. That well was dry now, and her eyes were empty like two stars burning off into darkness. Those lifeless orbs sucked Nino into them and shared her sudden hopelessness and despair.

Itsuki caught up to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Hey, it's okay. We're all here now."

"Guys?" Yotsuba called as she entered the room, "What'd you all leave for? I saw you run out like a cat racing for the..." Yotsuba's peppy monologue gave way to uncertainty when she saw how her sisters were looking at her. She caught Nino and she knew Yotsuba could see the shocked defeat, and the fear, that must be inside her.

Ichika finally turned, she was smiling. It was full of warmth and appreciation and understanding. It was a lie. An act. No one but them would be able to see the falsehood Ichika displayed to her younger sister, but she felt it, and feared what hid behind it. Ichika refused to show them, any of them, her true self.

"We're fine here. You should head back."

Yotsuba quivered, then laughed lamely, "Ah, I see. I, ah," she glanced to Nino. Did she hope she would save her? She should have. Nino had the truth ready on the tip of her tongue, ready to regain whatever control was left. But her lips rebelled and hugged each other tightly to keep the truth hidden. She tried to speak, oh she tried, but she couldn't. The truth stuck to her tongue like thick honey.

Yotsuba seemed to understand. She bowed her head and said, "In that case, I'll be going." She turned and left on a lonely walk to the classroom. Nino knew she would carry the shame of letting her go.

Itsuki took her hand, squeezing it gently as she said, "Let's head back, nothing more to do now." Ichika was already on her way. She winked at Nino, hinting at that shared bond in rejection. Miku followed as meekly as a kitten, lost to the outside world. And Nino could only follow in a stupor of her own, wondering how her voice had failed her so completely.

Third period. Her notebook grew no fuller as their teacher droned onward about history, old warlords and wars in the sea. None of that mattered to her anymore, a stream of dead men and places she'd never see. And she felt that burden on each of her sisters across the room, a muffled cry of frustration just waiting for air. And Yotsuba at the front acted oblivious to it all. She wasn't as good an actress as Ichika, she could see her shoulders stiff as concrete, waiting with dread for the next bell.

When that bell came releasing them for lunch, Nino watched enviously as Futaro left for the cafeteria, somehow oblivious to the cascade burying the Nakano sisters. Yotsuba volunteered to take some papers to the staff room for their teacher, an excellent excuse to avoid her family. Nino was vaguely aware of Itsuki leading her to the cafeteria with the others, evidently intent on making sure her family still made an effort to eat. She sat with her three sisters as they opened her lunchboxes. She saw Futaro by himself in the corner fiddling with another ring of flashcards. She envied his ability to get lost in his passions. There was no escape for her.

They began eating in silence, each either unwilling or unsure how to break the discomfort. They'd barely taken their first bites when Nino noticed Yotsuba tepidly approaching their table. She kept her distance like a scared child in a petting zoo, raising her lunchbox hopefully and asking, "Hey, room for one more?"

Ichika smiled as she'd practiced so many times for a camera and said, "I'm sorry, I don't think there is." She said it without a hint of malice, but it hung in the air like a toxin, or a miasma threatening to choke them.

Yotsuba lowered her head, "Oh, I see."

Miku's head was bowed over her food. She took a chunk of rice and nibbled it as a sloth munching on leaves. If Miku were shrinking, collapsing into herself like a black hole, Itsuki was her opposite, a simmering cauldron of anger. Yotsuba's perceived courtship was a betrayal, and her presence was a knife twisting in the wound. She said heatedly, "You should go, Yotsuba."

Yotsuba couldn't meet her eyes, nodding in acquiescence and turning like a beaten dog.

The sight of her retreating form was too much for Nino, the unjustness of their circumstance like a rock pressing into her chest, suffocating her with every second she didn't push back. In a fury she rose from her seat, her chair skidding on the floor like a call to arms. She had her confession poised in her throat ready to fire like a cannon on the high seas, and then…

And then, silence. Yotsuba continued walking away and she could say nothing. Because she saw the looks her sisters gave Yotsuba and knew she couldn't bear them accusing her, she just couldn't stand it. Those were the eyes of rejection and repudiation. They were her mother's glare. They all had their mother's eyes, but that was her mother's glare. The very glare she punished her second daughter with in her darkest moments of doubt, when the strain of her burden threatened to crush her and her hidden feeling came to surface for air. Nino could stand the world against her and her family, she could bear it with the poise of Atlas as he bore the weight of the Earth, anything as long as it came from without. But she couldn't suffer her sisters looking at her that way. Not like mother. Not again. And so she condemned Yotsuba to carry her burden with her silence like a curse, a curse on both of them.

Futaro noticed her squeaking chair and turned to see what was going on. He must have put the pieces together, it wouldn't be hard. A dejected Yotsuba, a stunned, silent Nino, a sullen Miku and a fuming Itsuki. The secret was out of control. But he didn't hesitate like her, he was unbound by the bonds that held Nino's tongue. He hurried after Yotsuba, who broke into a run as soon as she was through the door.

"She should've just sat with him," Ichika mused, dropping her play just enough to let in a hint of mockery.

Nino felt a hand grab hers, "Sit," Miku said. And Nino obeyed. She didn't have the voice to refuse. The sisters continued eating their meal, but Nino's appetite vanished with her voice. And in its place was a tumor eating her from the inside. With time it would grow, until it was too large to remove without scars.

Nino set down her chopsticks and stood, "I need to go," was all she said to her perplexed sisters. But they let her go, consigning her behavior to a broken heart. And it was broken, but not for a boy. She had to find her sister and make this right. She couldn't talk with them, but she'd find her voice with Yotsuba.

~Yotsuba~

She thrust her legs out and leaned back as she hung at the apex, waiting for the fall. And as gravity took her she cut through the wall of rain like a machete through the jungle. She loved this part the most, the fall forward and the climb higher, higher, higher than before to see above everything that was hidden with feet on the ground. Then she tucked herself tight like a stone and plunged back to the earth, back to where it all began, and rushed through that unseen barrier like a runaway train. Repeat, ad infinitum. She knew she should stop, either from the rain or the looming threat of the bell. But she couldn't. In the swing, all her worries could fall away, like tears in rain. It was her haven, a place everyone her age claimed to have grown beyond. She didn't, she clung to it like so many other things from childhood and made it her own. All for her. Nothing was supposed to bother her here.

But the swing had another, special meaning for her. This was the ground of her first great triumph over her sisters. It was also the last.

She'd loved being the same, once. Hadn't they all? Completely interchangeable, that's what quintuplets were. They could share clothes, toys, friends, even their names if they wanted to and no one outside their little circle would know. Absolutely alike, that's what strangers would say, charmingly identical. Except, that wasn't entirely true. Whenever Mother had introduced them to strangers, she'd gone in order: Ichika, Nino, Miku, Yotsuba, and Itsuki. A stranger could always be so excited when she began, but it was a long list. By the time they reached her they always had this look in their eye, a tinge of impatience, as if they were ready to move on to the next oddity. Because that's what they were to everyone else, an amusement. Strange. And so they clung to each other and their Mother, the only place their meaning had any value was with themselves.

But there, they were not equal. It was Miku who spoke their first word: apple. Nino was the first to stand. Each of her sisters reached some milestone first, but mother never mentioned Yotsuba being first at anything. And from childhood their strengths only continued to diverge. Everyone seemed to grow special in their own way, except for her. Yotsuba always trailed behind.

That changed at the swings. Their mother brought them to the park one day when they were five and showed them how to swing. There were only four seats, so they had to take turns. Yotsuba offered to wait her turn and watched her sisters try to mimic their mother. They thrashed their legs, straightening flat as boards, and did little more than make the chains wiggle like worms. Then Itsuki leaned too far, her hands slipped from the chains and she tumbled the short distance from her seat to the woodchips. She cried as sharp as a squealing violin and their mother came running to tend to her. As she carried her to the bench, Yotsuba watched silently as her mother doted on her favorite daughter, then shifted to the empty swing.

She climbed in on her own, grabbing the chains and hopping into the seat. She felt it sink around her, almost gripping her bottom. She envisioned her mother rocking back, forth, and shifted her body to do the same. She tried it once, twice, and to her amazement she was moving! She went forward, backwards, and farther every time! The chains creaked with every pendulation and she felt like she could fly!

"Mommy! Yotsuba's got it!" Miku cried. Her mother, who's fingers were combing Itsuki's hair for the wound, looked up and saw her fourth, her most unremarkable daughter, flying. Yotsuba looked back and saw the briefest hint of wonder, then joy. Just once, it was all for her.

It was the first and last time her mother looked at her that way. It was a once-in-a-lifetime look of unconstrained love and pride, a height Yotsuba never achieved again. And how she'd tried. She'd tried to be the best, the smartest, the cleverest. All her efforts never moved her to the front of the pack. She was always trailing behind her sisters in this subject or that, someone was always better than her. But all this effort paid off in an unexpected area: her endurance. Yotsuba pushed herself harder than anyone in her family to make up for her perceived shortcomings. Her perseverance carried into every part of her life, and where it failed to improve her in the classroom, overtime it shaped her body until she was different from the others. She could run faster, and longer, than the rest. At last she could pull away on her own. Her mother was as supportive as she could be, but she was an academic, she valued the mind, not the body, and her praise followed her bias. Yotsuba's physical achievements were always praised halfheartedly by her mother.

And then she died. Her daughters were left to pick up the pieces of a life without her. Everyone slowly stretched into her arms and her legs. But what could she do that someone else couldn't do better? What did she have to give her family? She gave the only thing she had: her strength. She carried their burdens, physical and emotional, and shared her persistence and her joy when they had none of their own. But it never felt like enough. It paled compared to Nino's relentless housekeeping, Ichika's unbiased support, and Itsuki's attentive ear and loving belief. It still felt like she was trailing behind. Her sisters are moving ahead of her and she can never catch up. She worries that one day they'll be too far to see, and she'll be lost. Abandoned to be never enough.

That was to be her fate a year ago when her teacher told her she'd failed. She couldn't meet her school's academic standards and would have to transfer. She saw that as the end, her sisters disappearing over the horizon. She had pictured their disappointment, and even their disgust with her. She imagined they blamed her for breaking apart their sisterhood by failing to keep up. Except her sisters noticed her lagging behind, and when she fell too far, they turned around and came back for her. They sacrificed friendships, stability, all to keep her on the path. And they never brought up her failure, or made her feel guilty for it. Not once.

How does one repay such kindness and love? How do you say thank you for sacrificing so much? With the same in equal measures. So she redoubled her support of her sisters, never hesitating to carry their burdens in the name of sisterhood. If they were adamant in staying together, she would prop them up as high as she could. If she was destined to follow in their footsteps, then she'd be right at their backs when they hesitated giving them the push they needed to succeed. If they fell, she'd catch up and carry them until they could walk on their own.

That's why she volunteered to keep Nino's secret today. It was just another burden to carry, repayment for everything Nino had done for her. And when it all came apart, she did her best to stay rigid and keep her sister safe from the storm. She'd felt blowback for her efforts before. But this had been different. Itsuki, Ichika, Miku, they took it much worse than she'd imagined. They cut her off like a limb, ostracizing her from their loving circle, the only one she'd had. And looking at Nino, knowing how she'd take it if they were directed at her, Yotsuba took it. That was her role. It was all she could give.

Except, those eyes, the anger and the disappointment, were exactly what she'd expected when she'd been expelled. They weren't nonexistent, only delayed, and it was this news about a boy that brought it out. And now Yotsuba knew there was a limit to their love for her, and it could be lost. It would be lost, someday, when they grew tired of waiting for her. To see it, even if it was temporary to hide the truth, hurt more than a thousand zeroes on a thousand tests. It hurt more than cavities and scrapes and bruises and broken legs. It just hurt.

So she swung away in the rain, and hoped the looks would disappear from her memory. They didn't. They only burrowed deeper. Their love had a limit, someday they wouldn't look back for her. And then she'd be alone. A burden to no one. Unexceptional.

She fell back and up and waited for gravity to take her, and gasped when she felt hands on her back pushing her forward.

"You're a pain to find, you know that?" Futaro said.

Yotsuba felt trapped, caught in Medusa's stare and turning to stone. She fell back and Futaro pushed her again.

"I almost gave myself a heart attack trying to keep up with you, and that was just to the school gates. You're lucky I thought about this place."

She opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. She was afraid of what she'd say.

"So I guess the secret's out. But why come all the way out here?"

He had to wait a long while for her answer. She felt his hands at her back each time she fell back, patiently expecting her answer. She finally said, "I want to be alone." She hoped he understood, and left.

"You couldn't do that at school?" She shook her head. "Why not? You're gonna be soaked through for the rest of the day."

Her body was clammy and numb, she barely felt the cold anymore, just a tingling pressure all over her skin.

Futaro asked, "Did you hear me?" She hoped silence was a clear hint for him to leave her alone. He was good at puzzles. He should figure it out.

Suddenly he grasped the chains and broke the pendulum. Yotsuba gasped as Futaro stepped in front of her with his next retort primed on his tongue. But it died as he saw her face. Whatever he saw, her expression, or something deeper, it shattered whatever he had to say, derailed whatever train carried his thoughts, his face falling in shocked uncertainty. Yotsuba looked away under his chilling eyes. She felt open, vulnerable, like being caught naked in a changing room. It was like he was seeing behind her eyes into her memories, seeing her for exactly what she was, and shocked at how little there was to find. It was an emptiness no one was supposed to see.

Futaro's hair clung to his head like a depressed bathroom mat. It curtained his eyes, frozen in place as he processed what he was seeing. Seconds, minutes, all concepts of time fade away into moments when the mind frees itself from the clock's control. That's what she and Futaro had, a moment of understanding.

"Come on," Futaro suddenly said as he took her hand, "We're going back." And in her mourning-induced fatigue she doesn't resist being dragged across the playground, across the block and through the school gates.

Futaro took her to the changing room, ducking in just long enough to return with a handful of towels. She took one and toweled herself off. Yotsuba hid under her towel as she dried her hair and breathed, bringing it all back. The cheery girl everyone expected to see. She emerged with a small grin, "Thanks, but I was doing alright out there, you know."

Futaro's expression didn't change, he'd seen the real her, the girl only good for running, lifting and swinging. What good was that to anyone?

Futaro toweled his own hair long after it was dried, stealing time to draw out the silence. Then he looked at her and tried to speak, then shook his head and thought again. Words always came easy to Futaro, they were bullets in his bandoleer always ready for action. Yet now he worked them carefully, trying to find the ones that expressed thoughts he'd never shared.

Then he told her, "I've never had a lot of close friends, not even as a kid. I think, I was always trying to be somebody else. Someone cool. And the other kids saw right through me. So I decided it wasn't important and stopped caring what other people thought of me. So I'm sorry if that means I'm not a very good friend myself."

Yotsuba waved it off, "It's fine, it's-"

"No, let me finish."

"Really, Nino must be-"

"No! I, well, just listen. I want to say this." Futaro swallowed and tried again, "I know I need to be better, because you've set the bar incredibly high. And I don't know if you feel the same, but I," Futaro coughed, and Yotsuba caught a blush, "Well, you're the best friend I've ever had. Or, have. And I want to get it right. So, whatever happens, I'll be at your side, too."

Futaro blushed and shook his head, unsatisfied with his choice of words. Yotsuba disagreed, she thought they were perfect. More than perfect. It was exactly what she'd been looking for.

"But first I need to go and make this right. Let me do that."

Yotsuba nodded, smiling, genuinely this time, "Yeah, go. I'll be waiting."

Futaro clumsily detached himself from her and ran through the hall to the cafeteria. Yotsuba was left on her own once more. Only, it felt different. Warmer. Someone came back for her after all. He might even do it again. Maybe he'd seen something in her after all. Something she'd missed.

~Nino~

Was this a school or a maze!? No, a maze was too generous, this was a haystack the size of a...well, a building, but a haystack nonetheless, nothing but identical strands of hay concealing the precious needle. Or needles.

She hadn't caught sight of Futaro or Yotsuba, and she'd checked, oh how thoroughly she'd checked. Twice she'd scavanged these halls and empty classrooms and found nothing. She'd ducked into every restroom, and that meant every restroom. With the men's she'd crack the door and scream that if Futaro was inside he'd better finish whatever business he had and make himself seen. No response. That left the staff rooms, the ducts, and inside the walls. She was considering where to begin when Futaro finally responded to her text.

Taken care of. Let's meet in front of the cafeteria.

Nino furiously responded, WHERE ARE YOU!?

Soon to be in front of the cafeteria. With you.

Fine

When the rounded the corner and saw Futaro waiting outside the cafeteria doors, she launched at him, "Where have you been? Where's Yotsuba? And why are you all wet?"

Futaro checked his hair and grinned, "Were you looking for us?"

"Of course! Didn't you see my texts?"

"What texts?" Futaro checked his phone and frowned, "Ah, didn't see those."

"You texted me! How can you miss them?"

"I was, occupied."

Nino fumed, "Well pay attention next time."

"Yeah."

"So? How is she?"

"She's fine, I was with her."

"And?"

"And now I'm with you. And I know what we need to do." Futaro took her hand and looked at the door, "This has gone far enough, I want to set the record straight."

She grimaced, "I know."

"We can't avoid it, it'll only make things worse."

"I know."

"You don't look-"

"Futaro, I know." She fumed. She knew better than anyone, and now she knew what those consequences might look like. Her sisters were ready to go that far, to banish her. Like Yotsuba. She quietly repeated, "I know."

Futaro read her, he was getting better at that, and said, "It'll be alright."

She didn't know, so she didn't say so.

"You know the girl who posted it?"

"Yeah, she's sitting in front of my sisters."

"Let's start with her. Then we'll talk to the others."

"Okay."

"You need a minute?"

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. None of which she had. She thought back to her breakfast with Yotsuba, Miku, Itsuki, Ichika. What she wouldn't give for just one more family meal in peace. She wondered when their next one would be, together, intact. She stared down the door separating her and this uncertain future. And then Futaro flexed his hand like a heartbeat and she remembered she wasn't alone. It banished those demons just enough to be brave and take that paralyzing first step, and proceed.

"Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

Together they pushed through the doors and stormed the cafeteria. Nino pointed to the poster, a girl in a group of five finishing her bento at the table. She kept blinking her eyes and rubbing them, trying to stay awake. They weren't the only ones who didn't get much sleep last night.

As they passed through the tables, Nino watched her sisters in the corner of her eye. Another pair of admirers were buzzing Ichika with questions as Itsuki munched on a croquette. Miku's back was to her, unmoving. Ichika caught sight of her sister across the hall and, thinking her on her way back to them, waved hello. Her arm was halfway up when she saw Nino's hand holding another, and froze when she saw who owned the hand. And for the first time that day in public, Ichika's careful public persona shattered, her mask falling to pieces to reveal unmitigated astonishment. Nino touched her earrings for Ichika to see.

"Hey!" Futaro called as they approached the girl.

She looked up, "Huh? Me?"

"Yeah. You screwed up."

The girl looked around, a few heads at nearby tables were turning to look at them, "Uh, what? Are you talking about the picture?"

Nino pointed at her and said irritably, "Yeah, you tagged the wrong girl!"

Futaro continued, "This is Nino, not Yotsuba. Try and get it right."

Nino said, "Go back and edit it, I'll text you my handle. Do it now."

The girl blinked, "Uh, sure, whatever. Sorry."

"Good." Futaro said.

"We'll be going then," Nino began, then whispered, "And thanks! It's a good shot."

The girl chuckled nervously, "You're welcome, I guess."

One task down. Now for the pain, the salt in the wound. Nino and Futaro approached her sisters. Ichika's recovery was worth an oscar nomination, her gentle smile was as natural as the flowers she tended on the windowsill at their old home. Itsuki showed all the emotion Ichika was hiding, she was a whirlpool of anger, confusion and hurt. Miku didn't move, she was as silent as a doll. It didn't matter if it was Yotsuba, or Nino, it only mattered that it wasn't her, her melancholy was unwavering.

Nino asked, "Can we sit here?"

Ichika nodded, "Sure," she began, then stood, "We were done anyways. Let's go."

Ichika took Miku's hand and guided the dispirited woman away. Itsuki glared a hundred questions and twice as many accusations into her, but said nothing. She just picked up her tray. Nino watched her sisters tear her heart out as they left her without looking back.

Futaro said, "They just need some time."

How much, she wondered. "I hope so. Either way, it's over." The secrets, the falsehoods, and her sisterhood as it used to be. She wondered what was left.

Ichika paused at the exit, then gathered their lunchboxes. Itsuki led Miku through the door as Ichika dropped them in the trash.

A/N

I'd like to expand on something in the last chapter's author's notes, regarding focusing the story around Nino as the central lead, with Futaro acting as deuteragonist. This might be done for one simple reasons: the cast consists of six central characters, Futaro and the quintuplets. In the manga, the story is tied around the uncertainty as to his future bride's identity. This facilitates Futaro's necessity as protagonist, as well as creating a powerful hook for the reader, making us invested in the mystery. We'd be much less interested if we knew her identity from the beginning, it's the novelty that in part keeps us reading. Now, the search is over, Nino won. The central conflict now comes from her dynamic with her sisters, and her Father. That's why this is becoming Nino's story more than Futaro's, the conflict is rooted in her. Therefore she is the main protagonist.

Regarding Yotsuba, I think the fandom at large envisioned her as having some insecurities and self-doubts long before the canon confirmed it. I was among them, and am interested in seeing that develop. And I figured that is how she would tie into this story as well. And to confirm, her relationship with Futaro is platonic, their feelings are platonic, and I don't think that's strange. I'd even argue it made sense all the way up until the revelation of their childhood meeting. I think if we all deserve a friend like her, and Futaro's lucky enough to be that.

How we deal with rejection says a lot about our characters. Any damage to the ego cuts off empathy and respect, and even love. I can see that happening here, for different reasons with the sisters. We haven't had a perspective segment for any of them yet, so we don't fully comprehend their own feelings regarding this. But it should be plain that they're wounded in their own ways. How that is handled, I believe, makes an interesting tale.

This marks my longest chapter yet, and I don't plan on making it a trend. I'd considered splitting it in two, but couldn't find a reasonable bisecting point, so I kept it whole. I'll begin work on the next one shortly for publishing in two weeks. Thank you for reading, and please review.

Chapter published August 8th, 2019.