Burning the Midnight Oil

Chapter 16

Shattered Sisterhood

~Nino~

The scene that would forever shape the Nakanos' lives was stupendous, cracking the foundation of their careful little world. She saw how small that world was by how ineffectually those ripples of calamity broke against her peers. What was a world-shaking event for six was a minor curiosity to those positioned within earshot by fate, and utterly inconsequential to everyone else. Even the captor of that dreadful, beloved picture Nino had already saved to her phone had lost interest in the pair the moment they'd left her table. They were an amusing paragraph in the chapter of her day, and a footnote in everyone else's, if that.

Amid a sea of indifference, it's easy to feel alone, hiding a torrent of confusion and anguish behind placid indifference. That brief gap of air between her and the student body felt as wide as The Red Sea, and her without a boat to cross it, or a savior to part it. It was lonely in the land of the slaves, lost in despair, watching her kin desert her to the Pharaoh of abandonment.

And then he squeezed her hand and she remembered she shouldn't feel alone. He looked at her with eyes saying he understood. It was a lie. An innocent lie. He couldn't know. But he wanted to share that grief he couldn't understand. Stupid Futaro, you don't know nearly as much as you think.

"It'll be okay, they'll come around."

He made it sound so easy, as logical as a mouse running a maze. He only had his sight on the exit, but he couldn't see the incomprehensible puzzle fogging their path. She'd never seen her sisters look at her like that, with coldness that would freeze fire. It reminded her of her mother in her darkest moments, when she wished she'd never been born.

She told Futaro to sit and she set down her food, then headed to the trash bin and recovered her sisters' discarded lunchboxes. She checked them, they were almost empty. At least they hadn't gone hungry. She set them under the table and opened her own. Futaro had abandoned his food in pursuit of Yotsuba, and the kind cafeteria lady, or a vulture of a student, left a clean table on their return. Futaro grumbled about two-hundred yen flushed down the toilet without the benefit of passing through him on the way. Nino told him not to talk like that before shoving chopsticks sticky with natto into his mouth. Potty humor, of all things, of all the times. She thought she was dating a grown-up. She'd make sure he put his mouth to better use.

Sharing a bento with her boyfriend, it was one of her girlish dreams. One she'd already lived, albeit in an unexpected setting. It should feel more natural here, she thought. They could share each other in the open, no more hiding behind walls or under the stars, he was hers to enjoy day or night, rain or shine. And she was happy to show him off to everyone, to set the boundary against everyone else who might have had eyes on him, goodness knows they were already more numerous than she expected. But the joy of flaunting her status was diminished by the phantom of her sisters' resentment cloaking her like a specter's shroud, muffling the fires of her passion with incessant worry about their reunion. She tried to tear it off and enjoy the moment for what it was, a triumph, but it was as sticky as the natto she gnashed between her teeth. She mournfully remembered their first shared lunch on the rooftop in the rain, under a tiny umbrella, and wondered how much she'd give to be back there out of sight.

"Hey, ah, room for one more?" Yotsuba looked at them nervously holding her lunchbox in front of her like a shy adolescent on her first day of primary school. Futaro, still chewing a mouthful Nino would've forced down his throat if he hadn't opened his mouth willingly, motioned for her to sit. And Nino felt horrible, she'd been so covered with wounds that she'd nearly forgotten the one person at their backs pushing them forward since the very beginning. How quickly the kind were forgotten in crusade.

Yotsuba took a seat across from them and eyed the lunchboxes, shifting to their expressions as she fit the pieces together. Yotsuba was many things, manic, scatterbrained, academically challenged and overly eager to please, and she'd be the first to admit to it all like an innocent child who forgot they stuffed a candy bar in their pocket and forgot to pay. But she wasn't dumb, or thick. None of them were, despite what any simpleton might unreasonably conclude after glancing at their test scores.

She smiled gingerly, "Didn't go well, huh?"

"Nope," Nino said.

Futaro shrugged, "We knew it would be bad, but I don't think it's anything we can't sit down and talk over."

Yotsuba said, "I don't think it'll be that simple."

"Of course it is, what else are we going to do?"

Nino was glad Yotsuba shared her discomfort. It's hard to keep things private with family you've shared a life with from womb to present. They've seen each other at their greatest, and at their very worst. This was not the angriest they'd seen their sisters, but it was the first time such acrimony was directed from one sister to another, and both of them had felt it on blast. Futaro couldn't know, and he'd never learn it in the library. You had to live that unceasing connection to comprehend the pain of watching the person on the other end hack it with an ax.

Yotsuba said, "I wonder..."

"Wonder what?" he asked.

She shook it off, "Oh, nothing. I hope you're right."

"I've had the great misfortune of being your tutor for more than half a year, and-"

"Misfortune?"

"-if there's one thing you taught me, it's that nothing keeps the five of you apart for long. I know, I tried. That was one of my earlier tactics, divide and conquer, and it didn't work. Nothing ever worked unless I managed to bring the five of you together and make you work through the problems as a group. You're like a rubber band ball, always snapping back together. You'll do it again, wait and see."

It was funny, but the way Futaro stated it, so matter-of-factly as if it were just another statistic he slung at them for a test, she almost believed it. And then Ichika's head appeared in the front of her mind, smiled, and shook her head, no, and disappeared.

Futaro pulled out a ring of flashcards from his pocket. Nino said, "Didn't you lose those?"

"I made new ones last night."

"I should've seen that coming."

"I did," Yotsuba said proudly.

"Ready for a pop quiz?"

They blanked, "Now?"

"No better time."

Nino said, "No, there better be. I don't want to."

Futaro looked ready to press, but he might have caught a glimpse of the uneasiness swelling in her chest with every beat her sisters' anger continued, even out of sight. He pocketed the flashcards and said, "On second thought, we'll save it for study hall. It'll be better with the five of you together anyways. Can't be playing favorites now, I have some integrity after all."

His admission let them finish their lunches in relative peace, or in what can exist knowing confrontation is around the next corner. They polished off the remains and journeyed to the classroom. Halfway there Nino asked Futaro to go on ahead. He shrugged, probably assuming she wanted to avoid agitating her sisters further by arriving together, and left her with Yotsuba.

Futaro's hair, a product of an overzealous sister's affectionate contribution to budget cuts, was naturally round and willfully obedient to the laws of gravity. Nevertheless a few rebellious sprigs bounced merrily with his steps like wings of a little bird learning to fly. They were a tease at the spark of life Nino found inside his frozen heart, the only outward hint. Futaro's walk was robotic as if controlled by Swiss gears in unparalleled precision. Everything he did was perfectly coordinated as if running on machine code. And that made him stand out in a sea of lackadaisical peers with little more on their minds than what was waiting at home for dinner, or whether the look that girl with the Hello Kitty scrunchie had given him was inviting a brief hello. Futaro was a twig of a man compared to the sea of XY chromosomes swarming the halls, and most of them were twigs themselves in her eyes, but he carried himself like a freight train steaming along its tracks to some faraway station. Such binary confidence made him appear broader than he was, and his every step was sure of its place.

So it didn't matter that he might face her sisters alone in the classroom, or if it did he was as ready for it as the next exam. That will, sharpened and tested under incandescent light late into the night, filled him until he was greater than his scrawny shoulders would suggest. Nino loved his walk, and she loved how deftly he moved ahead.

Yotsuba leaned into her periphery, "You, wanted something?"

Huh? Oh no, was she staring? A retreating back was only interesting to puppies or assassins, and she had no interest in being either. She blinked and said, "Yeah, what was it? I just had it. Darnit." She squeezed the bridge of her nose like a pimple she wanted to pop, "Listen, about earlier. You shouldn't have done that."

"Part of me thought that, too, but you just looked..." Yotsuba paused, "Ah, it doesn't matter. You're right. I jumped the gun on it."

Jumping the gun? That was putting it mildly. Not that it shouldn't be expected, Yotsuba was the girl who'd run a race before the crowd even assembled. Always working to get things done, but never noticing things falling through the cracks in the pavement. Of course, Nino hadn't done much to help. Even after the gun sounded and she should have made her move, when she should have seized the moment, she froze. She was taken by fear that ran deeper than she'd known, holding her like roots deep in the earth.

She said, "Well, I could've done better too."

"Don't be hard on yourself. I get it, and...well, I get it."

Apologies were a second language to Nino, one she struggled to speak fluently. Admitting fault was like swallowing a bitter prescription, a task made even more difficult when the patient was convinced she wasn't sick. Why suffer indignity when it isn't necessary? Everything she'd done had seemed proper at the time, and she'd done what she could to make it right. What more could anyone expect, unless they were asking for something unreasonable, as if the victim of a fender-bender was roaring demands for a brand new Bentley as compensation. Because that's what it felt like any time someone insisted she apologize for some perceived fault. Why should she? What good did it do anyone? Who were they to judge her place? She was certain of her every action in the moment, that's what mattered. Even if she thought she made a mistake, she brushed it aside and vowed to do better next time. Anything else was admitting that she was wrong, that she'd made things worse. That she didn't belong.

So her bare admittance that she could've done things differently was plenty, especially for Yotsuba. The woman's empathy flowed like a river after a long winter. Whenever parties lined up to take a side, she'd always find herself in the middle sending her love in every direction. It came freely and without string attached, as reliable as the floor supporting your feet.

The pair followed Futaro to the classroom, finding the young man peering through the open door. He pointed inside and shook his head before entering, the pair following to find their sisters' desks empty, and Nino realized they must be waiting to return at the last possible moment. They were cutting it close themselves with only minutes to spare, how late were they planning to push this? She imagined them crowding in the girl's room prepping themselves to face the couple with staged indifference. She wondered if any of them had cried. She thought Miku might, but then again she didn't appear emotional after discovering their secret, but instead almost seemed to shut off from the world, shrinking down into herself like the Wicked Witch of the West. And who knows what Ichika was thinking behind that mask, she refused to let anyone see what was running through her mind. And Itsuki, she didn't know where to begin with Itsuki. She thought she wasn't interested in Futaro, so why was she overreacting like this?

The clock hands met and the door opened and Nino readied herself for their silent accusations like a town prepares for a dam to break. In walked their teacher, setting his materials on his desk, and calling the class to attention. He noticed he left the door ajar and told Futaro to shut it so they could get started with exam prep. Futaro threw Nino a glance, silently telling her not to worry as he did as their teacher instructed. Nino felt the door slide shut from a hiss in her ear, the subtle vibration through her chair, and something deeper closing inside her like a bear trap.

Class commenced as if nothing had happened. No one outside their little circle questioned the three empty seats. Nino kept glancing at the door expecting it to open with a trio of apologies, she even tricked herself into hearing that familiar skidding across the rail. But the door stayed shut like a vault trapping her in ignorance. Halfway through the period she realized the door wasn't opening. She discreetly unlocked her cellphone and fired off a short text to her sisters, but just as she hit send the teacher called her out on breaking a fundamental rule of his class. Their teacher, an older man whose head hair had migrated south of his face, was a traditionalist and despised the rapid advances in technology that gave his students renewed freedom to ignore his lessons. He stared across the generation bridge and sneered at what he saw. He demanded she give him her phone and she wouldn't see it again until the end of the day. She reluctantly complied, quickly checking if her sisters had sent a quick response. Nothing. She sighed and handed it over. Her teacher nodded, certain that his student would return her attention to his lecture on covalent bonds. He was mistaken, her focus was dragged to those three empty desks like light into the well of a black hole.

At period's end, Futaro and Yotsuba gathered at her desk. Yotsuba's normally infectious cheer was wasted on her, especially when she mentioned she hadn't been able to reach them either. Not that she'd really tried beyond a single text. She said she didn't think she needed to call them, whatever they were doing must be keeping them busy. Nino suspected the real reason Yotsuba hadn't tried harder is she worried about their response to her, and if it might be as biting as before. They were the ones who owed Yotsuba an apology, she thought. And Futaro just shrugged and carried on, self-assured that things would work out. There had to be a logical reason they weren't here, he said. That infallible logic put him at ease. Nino almost groaned over how he always put everything into place, but her worry dulled her fangs and she even latched onto Futaro's thinking, hoping that, like always, he knew something the rest of them didn't.

Two more hours. One hundred and twenty minutes. Seven thousand, two hundred seconds. These digits floated like papers in the ocean of her mind. So small she could crumble them in her hands. Yet they leaked between her fingers in a ceaseless, drawn out tick, tick, tick. Seven thousand, two hundred torturous ticks of the clock before the bell released her to hunt for her sisters. Those two hours were the least productive of her academic career, a personal accomplishment she was too fretful to appreciate. And when it finally came, with Nino ready to leap from her seat like an eruption in the Pacific, their teacher demanded a few extra minutes of precious time and detailed off-the-book study strategies he guaranteed would help them at test time. Futaro scribbled them down to reference later and Nino wished he'd show at least a fraction of her concern.

At last they were dismissed. The teacher handed an impatient Nino her phone with deliberate sloth as Nino glared a thousand needles into him. She unlocked it and saw five texts. She lit up with hope, but they were from friends. Nothing from her sisters.

She joined Yotsuba at Futaro's desk, shaking her head. Futaro said, "Let's head to study hall, I'm sure we'll see them there."

Nino said, "Why think that?"

"Miku's never missed tutoring. Not once. She'll be there. I think the others will be as well."

Nino said, "Oh, you think this won't change anything? There's no way they'll show up if they skipped class."

Yotsuba said, "It can't hurt to try, it's just down the hall."

Outnumbered, she reluctantly followed Futaro to test his theory. When they found their usual seat empty, with no sign of her family, she was actually happy. Who was he thinking he knew her sisters better than she did?

Futaro covered his mouth, his eyes checking the seats as if checking for an illusion. "This is, unexpected."

Yotsuba tried, "Maybe they're just not here yet. Or they went to the bathroom all at the same time. Oh! Or they stopped at the convenience to get some snacks!"

Nino said, "Face it, they're not here. They left a long time ago."

Futaro said, "You may be right." Nino scowled, was it so hard to admit he'd been wrong? "But they have to be somewhere, they didn't just disappear into the wind."

"Sure feels like it," Yotsuba said and checked her phone.

Nino said, "Stop wasting time, they're not picking up. We need to go find them."

Futaro asked, "And where might they be?"

"Home? Or the cafe four blocks down the street? You know, Yotsuba, the one where we tried coffee with chili peppers and needed double lattes to fight the spice? Or the department store past that, or the botanical gardens at that spot by the river-"

"I don't know any of those places."

"Miku and Ichika invited you before, you just ignored them."

"Oh. Was that part of-"

"Yes. How could you never tell?" Futaro grumbled and didn't respond.

Yotsuba hummed, "That's a lot of places. We should split up, we'll find them faster that way."

Nino said, "Not a bad idea, text if you find them. I'll check the house first."

Yotsuba nodded and turned to Futaro, who mulled on it a moment before saying, "I'll stay here, in case they show up."

Nino fumed, "They aren't coming here, idiot!"

"They might," he said hopefully.

Nino rolled her eyes as Yotsuba said, "Okay, and I'll check everywhere else!"

Nino asked, "Everywhere? As in every place we go to?"

"Yup!"

She shrugged, it's just Yotsuba. "Alright, good luck. Remember, text us if you see them before you try talking with them." She left as Futaro sat at their table. He looked straight ahead for a moment and pondered the nothing on the wall before opening his tutoring materials without a student in sight.

Nino walked briskly home as Yotsuba sprinted in the opposite direction. Just as she vanished from sight, Nino regretted going by herself. If they were at home, if she had to face her sisters alone, what would she say? What would she do with three sets of accusing eyes on her? Would she freeze up like before, lock up like a broken machine destined for the junkyard? The four lunchboxes swayed unsteadily in her grip as she rocked one foot in front of the other, their combined weight putting her more off-balance than she already felt.

Nino lingered outside their shared house, the tiny dwelling she'd worked so hard to make a home, and wondered what she'd find inside. What she found was unlike anything she expected. It wasn't what her sisters said, they weren't there. But they had been, and their lingering presence, or lack of, spoke louder than screams.

No one knew a home better than a homemaker. Nino knew where each and every item under their roof belonged, and she enforced rigid tidiness standards for her sisters. So she knew the moment she stepped through the door that something was wrong. She checked the entryway, if her sisters' shoes were present, they were home. They weren't, and the rest of their shoes were missing, too. Nino stood a moment taking in the open patches of floor that hadn't felt incandescent light since they moved in. The entryway was a lesson in chaos as the five struggled to store their collection of shoes, but now it seemed tidy. Clear. It was wrong.

She stepped inside and noticed that Itsuki's journal was missing from the table. She'd seen it there this morning, she'd wager a week's wages on it. And Ichika's spare charger was missing at the wall, she kept it there to keep her phone charged while they watched movies together, all the while fending off her sisters' requests to share, claiming she needed it in case work called. And then there was the drying rack, she was sure she'd hung Miku's work uniform last night before the concert. And then like a puzzler reaching the bottom of the box, she realized all of the pieces that were missing.

She stormed to the closets and confirmed her fears. Almost barren, cleared out of anything belonging to her sisters sans Yotsuba. Dresses, shorts, swimsuits, underwear, everything. All gone. Those spaces, once filled with purpose, were now empty like holes in in a mothballed shirt. She ran through their closets again the way one does when they can't find their keys and keeps checking the same places over and over, as if her eyes weren't working the first three times and she had to check just once more to be sure, and then again. And every time her sisters' belongings failed to reappear, reality bit that much deeper into her throat. And once it sunk deep enough for her gut to digest it, she sat among the open cabinets and barren closets and marveled at how spacious this room could be all by herself.

She told herself to keep calm. There had to be an explanation for this. She knew it too, but she didn't let herself think of it. She couldn't face being abandoned by her family. And suddenly she was seized by the urge to scream for them as if they were just out of earshot and she had a chance to make them turn back and see her. She gripped her cell and opened her contacts, and paused. Where to begin? Who to call first? Not Miku, not Ichika, the wounds were deepest there. It had to be Itsuki. What did she have to be mad about? She'd make her see sense if they could have a one-on-one chat. She owed her that much. Yeah, of course she did. What did she think she was doing, acting all pissy today as if she'd broken an egg over her head. She must have calmed down by now, and then Ichika and Miku would be easy, they had to be!

She listened to the pulsing ringing abruptly cut in the second blip. She gripped her phone as Itsuki said, "What?"

"Itsuki! I'm so glad I caught you! Why didn't you text me back?"

"We were busy"

"With what? Where is everyone? Why is your stuff gone?"

"Ask your boyfriend, he's good at figuring things out."

Nino shuddered as Itsuki's words rinsed her like a bucket of ice water. "That's stupid, and he has nothing to do with this. I'm sitting in our bedroom right now, everything's gone. What did you do?"

"What did I do?" Itsuki asked, sounding perplexed, "What does it matter what I did? It's what you did that matters. What the hell were you thinking today? How could you let things get this out of hand!?"

"You mean me and Futaro? We were going to tell you! We had everything planned out perfectly! It just got out early that's all! Why are you making such a big deal out of it?"

"Because this is a big deal! What else can it be!?"

Nino's voice rose to match her sister, her pride demanding defense, "You're the one making it a big deal! Is that what this is then? You move all your shit out of the house for, what, a misunderstanding? Where the hell are you!?"

"And Yotsuba?" Nino froze, "Was she meant to take the fall?"

"That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Do you realize how horrible I feel taking this out on her? You threw her right in front of a train to save yourself!"

"I wasn't ready, and I came back and made things right, didn't I?"

Itsuki scoffed, "And that makes everything better? You think that makes up for everything?"

"I made up with Yotsuba, if that's what you're asking. Where do you get off acting the crusader? What'd I ever do to you?"

Silence. Heavy breathing. Then, lowly, "You don't remember?"

"You told me you didn't like him!"

"I don't."

"Then what?"

"You lied to me!" Itsuki screeched, "I asked you, two days ago, because I thought something was up. And I wanted to get ahead of it, before something like this happened! But you said no, nothing was happening. You lied straight to my face and look what happened! Are you really that stupid!?"

Nino had nothing snappy to fire back, she felt like a child, like the little girl she used to be, caught by mother with a candy bar she'd hidden away to avoid sharing. "I, it was sudden, and it just came out."

"You had two days to tell us. Two days. How long would you have kept it a secret if someone hadn't caught you two sucking face? Were you going to wait and surprise us with wedding invitations? Did you laugh when Ichika and Miku tried getting his attention, knowing you already had it all to yourself?"

"It wasn't like that! I was going to, I just-"

"Do you have any idea how Miku is taking this? Do you even care?"

"Of course I do! What's happening with Miku?"

Itsuki wasn't listening, she was an over-inflated balloon gushing pressure, "And Yotsuba! I just can't-" she groaned like a buoy caught between a yacht and the pier, "You've done a lot of selfish shit, Nino. But never anything like this. This is one hell of a low."

"You make it sound like I wanted to hurt everyone! I didn't! I swear! We had everything planned, if we only had a chance-"

Itsuki cut her off curtly, "Yeah. If only. You're like a broken record. I'm hanging up," The line died. Nino felt struck, staring at her obedient phone as it patiently awaited her next tactile command. She almost dialed Itsuki back for another shouting match, but hesitated, wondering if her constitution was ready for it. She was already shaken like a palm in a hurricane and she wasn't ready for another Category Five. But for all their arguing, she didn't have an answer as to where they were. She decided to call again. Miku was closest on her contact list, but before calling she remembered what Itsuki said and wondered just what state Miku was in. Would she even pick up? She thought it better to try Ichika first, despite knowing there was definitely bad blood between them.

The phone wasn't even through its first ring when Ichika picked up and Nino wondered if Ichika had expected her, or if she'd been right beside Itsuki through their entire squabble.

"Nino! Hi, I was hoping you'd call." After Itsuki's discontent, Ichika's chipperness was like stepping out of the frozen cold into a hot tub.

"Ichika! Where is everyone? I'm at home, and-"

"Yeah, about that. You might have noticed-"

"That everything's gone?"

"Not everything, just my stuff. And Miku's, and Itsuki's."

"Yeah, I noticed. So why?"

"Oh! I forgot to tell you? Silly, I must've gotten carried away with all the unpacking. We're living with dad again, I thought it'd be best if we gave the happy couple some space. We figured you'd want to keep Yotsuba around, since she's been in on your little affair for some time now. She's welcome to join us if she likes, though. Could you be a dear and pass it along for me?"

Nino's heart skipped a beat, and nearly choked, "You're back with dad? But, we promised we were going to try and do things our way! Together!"

"Looks like we did, didn't we? Or maybe it was just you," She mused, then continued, "Anyway, I've already withdrawn our parts of the money from the account. Don't worry, we left yours and Yotsuba's, I'm sure the two of you can cover expenses just fine on your own. Hold on, I'm forgetting something..."

"Ichika, listen, I get that you're pissed, but I can explain-"

"Oh well, can't be important. Anyways, I best be off. Still plenty left to unpack. I forgot how spacious our rooms are. Do you mind if I store some of my new clothes in your old room? Oh, I'm sure you won't mind. Anyways, bye!"

The line went dead. Nino's hopes quickly followed. Ichika's parting words were worse, more painful than Itsuki's, because they were so fake. A gift of poison wrapped in delightfully colorful paper. A poison apple. Ichika never behaved that way towards her, and so Nino felt the depths of her loathing.

She looked at her phone again and honed in on the final untested number. What would she think when she called? Was Miku nestled next to the others, laughing at her pleas? No, not Miku. She would be alone, locked in her room like an insect in its cocoon. A part of her didn't want to try, because she knew of all her sisters, she'd had the least chance at success with her. But, with all other options reduced to zero, Miku had ascended to become her last hope. With a tepid touch she initiated the call and waited. As it rang she imagined Miku eyeing her phone like a frog hopping out from the garbage. And then it stopped. Nino expected to hear a voice message, the pre-programmed kind that Miku could never be bothered to personalize. It didn't come. She checked her phone and saw it counting the seconds. Miku picked up, silently.

"Miku?" She waited. Nothing. She continued, "Are you there?" She didn't respond. Nino realized this was her game, waiting for her sister to say whatever there was to be said, and be done with it. And Nino realized this was her final chance to win someone over, to make them see her side and bridge this sudden gap. She was desperate to make that connection, it mattered more than anything.

"Just listen, okay. Listen to what I have to say. I, I might have screwed up. No, I didn't mean for things to go this way. You have to believe me, we were going to tell you. I didn't mean to make Futaro and me a secret, I just, had to wait for the right moment. I knew you liked him and I knew Ichika liked him and I wanted us to go on like before, and I thought that breaking the news the right way would let that happen. But it got out and now you know. I...I'm sorry, Miku. I'm so, so sorry if I hurt you. Please, just say something. Say we can go back to normal. Please."

She waited for her answer, her heart was in her throat. But none came. She asked, "Miku?" Nothing. She checked her phone and saw her call log. Miku had hung up ten seconds into the call. She screen shone radiantly with innocent light waiting for her next command. When none came it darkened quietly, thinking its work done.

Weakness was a word rarely used to describe Nino, not even by those who knew her from a glance. But as with Achilles and his infamous heel, Nino had a spot as soft and fragile as rice paper, and when it was punctured, she deflated of all her opulence like a statue crumbling from neglect. It was concealed behind iron gates no one outside could hope to penetrate. But it was always there, open to wounding by those already inside. That small pool, those who had been there since the beginning, were supposed to be her; five sisters, one family. One. And in that emptied room, Nino realized that precious unity was lost, and her sisters were setting those old bridges aflame.

All because she tried to bring someone else in. Because she'd thought that they would value their relationships above everything, like she did. Because she thought that some stupid boy could never get between her and her family, and that they would accept him with her as she certainly would have done for them. But they were too different. How had they become so different? Nino wept as she remembered when they were one, the same girl the gods loved so much they made her again, and again, and again, and again.

She escaped the lonely room to the toilet. Inside she saw herself, a mess from tears and scarred makeup. She took off her ribbons, earrings and contacts and cleaned her face of makeup. She looked back at her face and wondered if this was Miku's face, or Ichika's when she was alone and could drop the act. She wondered how her sisters were feeling, Itsuki was the only one who genuinely expressed anything to her. Ichika and Miku, they were hiding in their own ways. And it hurt, knowing it was from her.

She remembered the first time she saw her mother look at her with ire. They'd just turned seven and Nino had spilled juice onto the carpet. Her mother hadn't screamed, just sighed and started cleaning. And as she bent down, she looked at Nino, and for the first time she showed a hint at regret behind those tired, porcelain eyes that hadn't seen nearly enough years to look so weathered. Her mother blinked and it was gone, but it never left Nino. She hadn't known what it meant then, but knew it was only for her, the smallest slip in a mother's love. Was this the first time she wondered how much simpler her life would be if Nino hadn't followed? Or just the first time Nino noticed? Either way, nothing had been quite the same ever since, that unspoken truth bubbling underneath her feet.

And now it would be the same with her sisters. Her love for them was infinite, she would love them forever no matter what they did. But it only went one way. Her sisters felt no such unconditional love for her. They had their limits, and she'd crossed them in a blink. And now they hid their regret, their anger from her. Just like mother. How long until Yotsuba turned away? How long until she was all alone?

The doorbell chimed. She was set on staying put in the bathroom and letting someone else get it, then felt a fool as she remembered there was no one else. She opened the door. The boy at the center of all this stood unabashedly. He glared, "There you are."

A thought crossed her mind, a revelation. None of this would have happened if not for him. If he'd just kept away. If he'd never gotten involved with their lives, they'd still be here. And she wondered if it was a mistake to let someone else in. She was a fool for thinking she could have it all her way.

"What're you doing here?" she glowered.

"Looking for you. What else? Are they here?"

"Go away, we don't want you here right now," she said.

"What's with you, Nino?"

She didn't want to be Nino, now, she wanted to be one of the quintuplets. She wanted to go back. She didn't want him here right now. So she lied, "Wrong girl, idiot."

Futaro blinked, "Stop joking, Nino. What is it?"

"I said I'm not Nino!"

"Yes you are."

"How would you even know?"

"I know my own girlfriend."

"We're quintuplets!"

Futaro pointed to her face, "Yeah, but I picked up a few hints. Like, you have this thing you do with your lips, ah, a tick, I guess, on the left, I mean my left, right there. It happens when you frown, like that. And you style your eyebrows differently, too. I don't get why girls do that, by the way, but yours taper off at the ends. And then there's," Futaro paused, leering at her and rubbing his face, "Ah, it's hard to describe. But I know it's you. So tell me what's going on, you're acting like a freak."

Nino bit her lip and felt his gaze like a searchlight finding her in the darkness. It found her in all the tiny ways she separated herself from her family. And she remembered that she'd gained something in taking this leap, something she'd thought precious enough to risk their status quo. A different love she hadn't known. One that, she hoped, wouldn't resent her too. She'd taken the step, no going back now. And she didn't want to lose what she'd found.

Futaro asked, "I get it, I messed up. I waited for over half an hour for someone to show up, but it just felt like a waste, so I left and came here. It really thought they'd be there."

Nino nodded, tearing up, "Yeah, me too," she said, and then hugged him, remembering all the reasons she loved him.

Futaro stood stiff, his hands splayed to his side wondering where they should go. "So, we're good?"

"Yeah, sorry about that." She felt his arms test their welcome as he embraced her back.

"It'll be okay," he said.

"I know," she began. Just okay. It was easy to be okay. She wanted to be more than that, with everyone. But right now, it would be enough. "I know."

A/N

A late chapter was inevitable, for one reason or another. It arose when I found myself staring at the blinking spacer on my screen and couldn't find the words to fill in the blanks. So I stepped away until it returned. But what I needed to do was sit down and force the words out, even if it was crap, until I found them beginning to flow once more. And when I did, I managed to finish this piece and break the block. So I present what I was able to complete. I don't think it's my best work, or my worst, but it's an achievement nonetheless.

And I had people in reviews confess that as a result of the delays, they expanded more. But surprisingly someone read those reviews and posted anonymously, asking others to understand the author's delay and have patience for my own pace. I think it's easy to view a story's beginning as a promise for the end, to make it worth engaging with. So it can be frustrating when it doesn't appear to be forthcoming. But I'll say this: writing is hard. Rewarding, but hard. And I struggle sometimes to keep pace. I want to write more, and to finish this. But this is first and foremost a hobby, I will not let it become work. I set two week deadlines for myself as a goal and work to meet them, and if I feel I can't, then I'll delay. But I do want to be regular when I can. So thank you, whoever you are, for understanding, and know that it meant a lot to me that you were willing to post that response.

In this chapter, I wanted to capture Nino's inner conflict regarding her personal view of her family and who her family actually is. I never saw them taking this sort of news well, and I think that turmoil deserves its own interpretation. Things seems to have largely settled between them in the canon, and I think that's a mistake, I think that hurt to pride and ego needs to be addressed, which is why I'm worried the story ends shortly after the eventual bride begins dating him. The manga is built almost like a mystery in that sense, one without clues, and I wonder what will happen when that mystery is done. Will the story still be worth following? I'm not sure, I hope so, the characters are certainly strong enough to stand on their own.

These last few chapters have all taken place in the same 24-hour time span, and we aren't through this harrowing day yet. I'll be back soon with another update, this story will continue. Until then, please review, favorite, and get ready for the next one.

Chapter published September 5th, 2019.