Burning The Midnight Oil
Chapter 26
Instincts
~Nino~
A funny thing happens when something 'coming soon' finally arrives. A kind of tension like a finger on a harp string ready to pluck builds inside your chest, and there it lingers. And when the day finally arrives and all your anticipation should sing like Beethoven's Ninth, the finger is still tugging the string. It's as if the mind looks at the calendar and decides that can't possibly be right, so it buries itself in a hole and sings la la la la la, nothing to see here!
Nino checked her phone again and saw the date, then sighed and set it down. April fourteenth. The mock exams were here. So why did it feel like she still had time left? Her body felt numb, like it knew that if it felt anything it would be dread, and so it determined to feel nothing at all. She checked her phone again. It was four thirty-two. She'd been up since the top of the hour.
She knew she wasn't falling back asleep. They'd stayed up until eleven with last minute prep, and then Futaro had insisted they go straight to bed. He said something about needing at least seven hours of sleep to solidify neural connections and actually remember what they learned. She hoped the thought counted for something. She hated waiting for what wouldn't come, so she sneaked past her slumbering siblings and went to the kitchen.
Pans and mixers were already prepped to go. She'd planned on making a killer breakfast to start the day right. At least now she wouldn't have to rush. She sent Futaro a quick text for when he woke up letting him know she was gonna be ready.
She jumped when her phone buzzed a moment later.
What the hell are you doing up?
Nino texted back, Did I wake you?
No! But what woke you up?
She grinned, So you can't sleep either?
No. I got two hours, at least.
She checked the door for her sisters' light snoring, before texting, Wanna call?
Good idea, we can get some last minute study in.
No no no no no! Just talk, okay?
Alright I guess. One sec.
She went to the bathroom and shut the door behind her, sitting on the toilet lid as Futaro's face lit up her display. It was a picture she'd taken the night he bought her earrings. The night he called her his girlfriend.
She said, "Hey there, sleepyhead."
"Likewise. How long've you been up for?"
"Since before four, so better than you."
"Nervous?"
"Kinda. Not really feeling it. It's like, where did all the time go?"
"Do you really need to ask that?"
"Not really. Now I know how Umi feels like. Oh! You never met Umi, she was in our last school. She started dating this guy Hizura, really good swimmer, and class rep to boot. She was so stoked when he asked her out, like-"
"Nino, does this have a point?"
"I'm getting to it! Patience, Futaro! Anyways, where was I?"
"How stoked she was?" he said irritably.
"Right! So we were first years and he was a third, so he was picking from the fresh crop. But she was swooning and happy so it was all roses! Except then, you see before she'd been a stellar student, but right after she started dating, her test scores plummeted! She complained how dating ate into all her time and she couldn't juggle grades and a boyfriend all at once."
Futuro asked, "What happened to them?"
"Hmm, they broke up sometime after midterms. I'm surprised they made it that long, they were total opposites."
"I see."
"And I know what you're thinking, that's totally us. Except, no, definitely not. We're so much better."
"I know you're biased. But yeah."
"Futaro?"
"Hm?"
"Do you wish we would've gotten together later?"
"You mean after the exams, or after graduation?"
"I wouldn't wait that long."
"Didn't think so."
"Like, think back to that night I told you I'd back off until after the exams. If you never heard that, if we just kept things like they were, would it have been better?"
"It might have been easier. I'd have had fewer distractions. But if that's all that mattered, Id've turned all of you down at Christmas and just studied on my own. I'm still here, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but what about us?"
"Nino, you know the answer to that."
Nino gripped her phone, "I still wanna hear you say it?"
Futaro chuckled, he understood. He knew her so well. "And risk any of this? No. I've had a blast."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Nino."
"Nino?"
She heard a door open, Futaro said, "Raiha? Hey, give it back!"
"Nino!" Raiha said, "Hi!"
"Uh, hi, Raiha."
"Is Itsuki up?"
"No."
"What about Yotsuba?"
"No, still sleeping."
"Okay. Bye!"
"Oh. Bye."
She played with the fabric of her pajamas until Futaro came back, "I need to get dad to install a lock on the bathroom."
"Your sister really doesn't like me," she said sadly.
Futaro sighed, "I know. She's just jealous."
"Of what? I'm trying to be close to her, I really am."
"She just needs to get to know you better, I know she'll warm up to you soon."
"Yeah, well she's being really mean about it."
"Reminds me of someone I know watching someone disrupting the family routine, you know. She came around in the end, though."
"Who's that? Oh, you! It's me, isn't it?"
"Bingo."
"Hmph. Was I worse?"
"Has Raiha drugged you yet?"
"Does melting my taste buds count?"
"No."
"Hmm. Fine, I guess we'll see."
"Why don't we do something together this weekend?"
"The three of us?"
"Sure."
"Won't she get fussy? It'll be like being the third wheel."
"Nah, that's actually how she got close with Itsuki. Remember meeting us that night with the fireworks?"
"Hmm, well, I got nothing to lose. Sure, why not? You really think she'll like me?"
"She likes everyone. She just likes Itsuki and Yotsuba more."
"Than me?"
"Than everyone."
"Oh." Nino kicked her legs and asked, "Hey, you talk with Takeda recently?"
"About what?"
"Ichika and Miku? Are they doing okay?"
"You're the one who asks him that."
"Not about their personal lives, I mean studies. Does he think they'll do okay on the exams?"
Futaro sighed, "I mean, I never ask, but I get a good idea when we work on their study plans. It's hard to tell. He's always complaining about how thick-headed they are, but so was I. But, he's complaining about harder topics, so I guess there's progress."
Nino smiled slightly, "Good, I'm glad they're okay."
"I know."
"You think this changes the bet?"
Futaro paused, "Bet?"
"Yeah, like they're with Takeda now, so does this change the wager?"
"Uh, maybe?"
Nino sat up straight, "Futaro, did you already talk with papa about this?"
"Papa about...the bet! Oh, no! No we haven't!"
Nino laughed, "Oh my gosh you forgot about the bet!"
"I did not!"
"You totally did!"
"Just for a second!"
"This entire month has been all about this bet, was I that distracting?"
"First of all, yes, you were."
"You're welcome," she said with pride.
"Second, I didn't forget, I just haven't slept much and have something else on my mind."
"Like what?" Futaro was quiet for some time, she asked again, "What is it? If it's about what happened yesterday, I'm still pissed off too. But we've got more important things to worry about, don't we?"
He sighed, "It's just, I don't wanna talk about it. That okay?"
"I mean I guess. But if it's important-"
"It is, but, it's like how you didn't want to tell your sisters until the right time. I can't tell you yet."
"Oh. Okay." She said sadly.
"Can you trust me on this?"
"I will. It's just, your family has this 'no secrets' thing, and I kinda want that too."
Futaro breathed harshly, "I know, I don't want to either. But I don't know how to tell you, or, if I even should. Just give me some time to work through this and I'll tell you, okay?"
"Okay. But tell me something else then."
"Sure."
"Do you feel ready? Can you really score in the top ten in the country?"
"I have spent every free hour not with you, my family or yours preparing. I'm as ready as I can be."
"But will it be enough?"
"Can I tell you the truth?"
"I hope so."
"I don't think it matters anymore. If I win, things stay the same. And if I lose, well, I may not be your official tutor anymore, but things won't change much beyond that. I'll still have you, Yotsuba, Itsuki, and Miku, if she wants."
"And Ichika."
Futaro paused, "Right, and Ichika."
"Well, win all the same. I wanna shove it in Papa's face."
"You got it."
"Were you studying when I texted you?"
"I was. I couldn't sleep, so I might as well."
"I figured. You're so predictable." She grinned, then thought it through further and asked, "You're not studying now, though. Right?"
"It's called multitasking."
"I can't, well, okay, I can believe it, but still! You're calling your girlfriend and you have a textbook on your lap!"
"You want me to win, right? You'll have my undivided attention after today."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I'll hold you to it, and let you get back to it."
"How kind. And what'll you do?"
"Gonna make a killer breakfast and text you a pic. You'll be so jealous."
"I'm sure I will."
"But not for long. I've got something big planned for your birthday tomorrow."
"Can't wait, Nino. I'll see you in class."
"We're gonna blow 'em away."
"I love you, Nino."
"Love you too, Futaro. See you soon."
She hung up and left the toilet. A talk with a lover is like a booster in the arm. If Futaro was so unworried about the exams that he could forget his wager with papa, what did she have to worry about? She felt her tension melting like wax in the summer sun.
She checked the time. Just after five. More time than she'd ever need for breakfast, unless she wanted a full continental buffet. Maybe she'd make one when this was over for the five of them. And Futaro too, of course. And papa if he bothered to come home for once. And maybe Takeda too, if he helped her sisters pass this thing.
She started with some light yoga to help her body wake up with her mind. She thought about all those knowing grins and subtle laughs at her while she stretched her legs in pigeon pose, and then released both tensions at once. She buried all her stress and humiliation in her joints and just stretched, crushing them, processing them, and then letting them go. Some people ate copious amounts of food. Others sat in a dark room for hours at a time. Nino did yoga. She considered hers the better stress management style. She remembered all those mornings focusing on their annoying, belligerent tutor. Look how well that turned out!
Nino finished with plenty of time for breakfast. A big day called for big preparations! Her paycheck arrived and she'd splurged. Berries? Check! Out of season cherries? Check! Fresh fish? Check! She had organic eggs, vegetables, even miso! This breakfast was gonna be bomb!
It wasn't even six yet when she set the fish in the oven. She used the extra time to arrange a plate of colorful berries into a word. If this were Futaro, she'd have arranged them into 'one hundred percent go!', but she wasn't that ambitious for her sisters. A simple 'pass!' would do nicely.
She had everything set and prepared the table. She took a picture of the completed spread and sent it to Futaro with pride. Then she went to the bedroom and roughly opened the door to announce, "Rise and shine, sleepyheads! Breakfast is served! Get it while it's hot!"
When her sisters didn't rise quickly enough for her liking, she hurried the process along with strong arms and plenty of shoving. She arranged Itsuki and Yotsuba in their seats and showcased her meal with a sweep of her arms, "Doesn't it look delicious?"
"Huh? Itsuki asked.
Nino rolled her eyes. How ungrateful. She pulled out her phone and switched to the front camera. "Come on, smile!"
Yotsuba wined, "No no no, no pictures. My face is all puffy."
"Mine too."
"Too late! Best effort girls!" She made a peace sign under her chin, with Itsuki and Yotsuba blearily tried to copy, and took the picture. "Good enough!"
Itsuki glared, "What're you doing?"
"Sending it to Futaro."
"No! I look like a sleeping pig!"
"Not my fault you slept in!"
"It's six-thirty!"
"Food! Focus on the food!" Nino said as she hit send. She took her seat and carved up the fish. She wondered if this is what being a mother would be like, ungrateful children eating her hard work without comment. She'd make sure her future children would appreciate her sacrifices.
Itsuki retained the structure of play-doh throughout the meal, while Yotsuba perked up with every bite. When she cleared her plate she exclaimed, "Wow, that was incredible! Thank you Nino!"
"No problem, it's my-" Yotsuba was gone. Nino blinked at her empty chair. "Yotsuba?"
Yotsuba peeked out the bathroom door with a toothbrush in one hand and a wash cloth in the other. "Sorry, gotta rush!"
"What for? Are you running today?"
"No, but I gotta get to class early! Class reps gotta help prep the classrooms!" Nino was barely finished with the dishes when Yotsuba sprinted out the door, "See you in class!" Nino blinked and she was gone. Yotsuba was like an electron, you could never be sure exactly where she was or where she was going, you could only make a vague guess that she was somewhere nearby.
"Know why she's in such a hurry?" Itsuki asked.
"No clue. You?"
"No, but I bet it has something to do with Futaro."
"He would've told me," Nino insisted, then recalled how there was something bothering him that he wouldn't share, and wondered.
She finished cleaning and began prepping herself for the day. The mark on her cheek was still there, but fading slowly. It looked more like a paper cut than a pimple, so at least it was getting better. She put on a normal layering of makeup with extra care. She wanted to feel invincible today. Both she and Itsuki finished, Nino grabbed hers and Futaro's lunch boxes and they left together.
"You feeling nervous?" Itsuki asked on the way.
Nino said, "Aren't you?"
"Kinda. I know it's gonna be eating me until we open the test books."
"Yeah, it'll die once the questions are in front of us. Then we just gotta wait until the results come out. When is that again?"
"A few weeks later."
"Weeks!? How are we supposed to wait weeks!?"
Itsuki shrugged, "What else can we do?"
Nino sighed, "I just want this to be over with! Today is supposed to be the day!"
"I mean it's a national exam, we're talking tens of thousands of tests."
"And they never heard of a scantron? It's the digital age, this country needs to get with the times."
"Raiha!"
Nino blinked and looked to Itsuki, "What about her?"
Itsuki pointed towards the school gate. Amid the throngs of parents hugging and cheering their children on before a mock exam, of all things, making Nino wonder how they'd behave during the actual exams, she saw a girl perched on wide shoulders rising like a submarine periscope. Her arms flailed wildly, her tiny hands gripping two silver bundles.
Itsuki ran through the crowd, saying, "Mister Uesugi! Raiha! What're you doing here?"
He flashed an infectious grin that Futaro definitely inherited, "Today's a big day, and we're here to make sure you start it right!"
Raiha handed the silver presents to them as Nino approached cautiously, "Here, energy for the exams! I made them myself!"
Nino took it and peeled it open, revealing part of a tortilla, "What is it?"
"Curry-rittos! We made one for Yotsuba too, she got here super early though, so she had to come out and get it. Here, I made yours special, Nino!"
Nino suspected that 'special' was code for extra habaneros.
Itsuki took hers happily, "Thank you Raiha, you're so thoughtful!"
"Anything for you, Itsuki!"
Mister Uesugi put Raiha down and waved Nino over as she chatted with Itsuki, "Nino, got a sec?" Nino stepped closer and he leaned in, covering his mouth, "You doing alright, Nino?"
Nino asked, "With the exams?"
"No."
She sighed, "About yesterday? Did Futaro tell you?"
"I hope that's alright."
Nino didn't want it to be, she didn't want this spreading any further than it already had. Mister Uesugi read her like a newspaper and said, "For whatever it's worth, we're on your side. If there's anything we can do, you can count on us."
She nodded, feeling awkward, "Thanks."
"You know, in our family we've got a thing about no secrets."
"I noticed."
"And I think we can bring you into that. You might like to know that Futaro left early. Very early."
"I know."
"Yeah, but you don't know why. He told me he was gonna sweep the school top to bottom to make sure no one planted anything else overnight."
When anyone asked why she loved Futaro, it wasn't always easy to put into words. But she would say that he was always there, her knight in shining armor, when she needed him. Just like now. Nino felt her cheeks warming, "I should've guessed he'd do something like that."
Mister Uesugi grinned, patting her shoulder, "So go give it your all, no need to worry about anything else. See you later, Nino. Itsuki."
They waved farewell and entered the school against Mister Uesugi's and Raiha's sonorous cheers. Itsuki held up her burrito, "Okay, fair warning, these're gonna be hot."
"Duh. I got a mouthful of proof last week. How did you survive crashing with them for so long?"
"Lots and lots of milk."
"Wanna swing by the vending machine and grab some?"
"Sure."
She should've just gone to class. She should've ignored the staring she knew she'd find. She should have. But she had to get that drink.
She expected the mocking, it was bound to be more blatant than before. But they were so open with their leers it disturbed her. Itsuki held onto her arm like an anchor keeping her feet on the floor.
Then she saw a group of girls staring at an announcement board. One of them pointed to her, whispered something to the others, pointed to a notice pinned on the cork, and they left. Nino couldn't resist peeking at what she'd pointed at.
She saw a picture of a little girl caught unaware. Her mouth was open in surprise, showing braces bound with purple bands, hooks on an ugly retainer connecting to bands gripping her headgear to her face. There was a caption underneath, 'the makings of a slut'. It was the final piece to a puzzle Nino never wanted to solve.
Itsuki squealed and bolted forward, ripping it down with enough force to rattle the entire board. She looked back, but Nino was already storming away. "Nino, wait!"
Nino weaved through the halls like lightning through a starless sky, heading straight for the girl's changing room. She knew it'd be empty, no one was going to the gym today. She pushed through the door like a battering ram with Itsuki fast on her heel. Itsuki breathed, "Nino, stop."
"It was Ichika," Nino said steadily. It had to be, no one besides them knew about the picture, and Miku hadn't the heart, she was sure of that. But now everything was falling into place. She had the clout and the influence to spread whatever illusions she could craft through the entire school.
Itsuki breathed slowly, nodding, "I know."
Nino reached up to her left cheek. The wound didn't sting anymore, but she could still feel it immaterially, like a phantom limb. "All of this, it has to be her."
"I know."
Even as she said it, she didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to accept that one of her own sisters could be so cruel to her, all over, what? A boy? That was it? That's what she was willing to destroy her own blood over? And if this were all she'd seen, she would have found another excuse. But Ichika had been proving to her for over a week how deep her vindictiveness ran like an endless vein of cursed gold. This wasn't Ichika, not as she knew her. She'd changed into someone she didn't know. But it was someone who hated her enough to spread whatever slander would destroy het.
Ichika had changed. She'd broken off too far to come back. Worse, she'd done it willingly. How dare she. How dare she take that precious gift they shared, the gift of their mother, and grind it under her heel? How dare she?
Itsuki suddenly grabbed her hand, which Nino had crushed into a fist. "Don't. Don't hurt yourself again."
Nino yanked her arm free, "I'm not stupid." But she might have, she just couldn't admit it. "I never knew she had it in her. She always had to have it her way, everything had to be okay with her before we could do anything. But I never thought she could do this."
Itsuki said softly, "None of us did. I had no idea."
"Futaro did," Nino said.
"You think so?"
"He told me this morning that something was bothering him. This must've been it. That's why he came so early, to make sure she didn't do anything else. But she did it anyways. You know why? Because she doesn't care who knows. She doesn't care that we'd find out she was behind it, hell, she wanted us to know! Even after Futaro and Yotsuba swept the entire fucking school she still managed to set this up! Because she really, really doesn't care about me anymore."
Itsuki held her hand, massaging the back of it, and asked, "So what now, Nino? What're you gonna do? I'm with you, no matter what happens."
Nino breathed sharply. She wasn't crying. She was long past that. "What am I gonna do?" She mused to the empty air. "I'm gonna beat her."
"Nino-"
"I'm not gonna be like her, though. I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna head into that classroom and not give a single, lonely fuck about her. And I'm gonna blow these exams outta the park, I'm gonna crush her score and beat her where it really matters! And then I'm gonna move on, because if she's stopped loving me, then I'm gonna do the same to her! I'm gonna live a better life than her, have better friends than her, and I'm gonna build a better family than her! I'm gonna win by living better than she ever could, and not caring what she thinks of me." Nino shook her head, her voice losing life, "I'm done, Itsuki. I'm just done."
Itsuki held her hand, and Nino felt her own sadness watching her family tear itself apart. Nino wished she could comfort her, she wished she had the strength to say it was going to be okay, that she and Ichika would be able to forgive each other for this. But she couldn't. She finally felt the greatness of their divide, and it was too far to cross again. Some wounds were too deep, even for her to forget.
"So let's do it then," Itsuki smiled sadly. What else could she say?
Nino nodded, "Let's go."
They left the locker room and went straight to class. Nino didn't look for the pictures she knew would be there, she left them behind with the rest of her rage. She narrowed her focus on the only thing that mattered: beating Ichika in the exams and everything after.
She burst into class like a prima donna stealing the stage so that everyone knew she was not abashed. Yotsuba sprang over to them, "About time you two got here! Class is about to start! Where were you?"
"I think you know," Nino said lowly.
"I really don't. Oh! Did you see Uesugi's family outside? They're so thoughtful!"
Itsuki blinked, "Didn't you see the pictures?"
"What pictures?"
Well that answers that, Nino thought. "Where's Futaro?"
"I was hoping he'd be with you. He left ten minutes ago."
Itsuki asked, "And what about Ichika? Or Miku?"
"I haven't seen them yet."
Nino felt her chest shrink as more unwanted pieces formed another unpleasant picture. "Oh no."
~Futaro~
"Come on, it's not that bad." Futaro chided.
Yotsuba was breathing rapidly like a puppy trapped in a baking car. "It burns! It burns so badly!"
Futaro rolled his eyes and took another bite, "You quintuplets just have sensitive taste buds. You're used to wagyu and lobster puffs."
"That's not true! I love Indian food, just not the ones that are on fire!"
"Want me to finish it?" He offered his hand.
But Yotsuba shielded it with her body, "Nuh-uh, this was made special by Raiha just for me."
"Good. So eat it."
"Aww," Yotsuba wined, stuck in a Catch-22 with no emergency exit. She took another bite and chewed against the embers igniting on her taste buds. Futaro grinned and offered her water. He told her it wouldn't help, but it wouldn't kill her placebo effect. Yotsuba drank greedily and cheered, "Ah, much better!"
Futaro leaned back in his chair and said, "So, we're all good. Nothing anywhere in the entire school."
"Mission accomplished, partner!" Yotsuba reached for a high five. Yotsuba laughed when Futaro nearly lost his balance meeting her.
"Anyways," Futaro said as he recovered, "We've got some time to kill, wanna-"
"Talk about the class trip? Hooray!"
"I meant study."
Yotsuba winced, "I know, I just really, really don't wanna."
"We have a whole ten minutes left."
"Futaro, we're about to spend the next eight hours staring at test after test after test! Can we just agree that if I don't know it by now, I don't know it?"
"Alright, fine. But why'd you wanna talk about the class trip anyways?"
"Because it's like right after this and we've never discussed it. We're class reps, we should have a handle on it by now."
"Like all those meetings I never attended?"
"Exactly! We gotta stop slacking!"
"With the exams? Don't make me laugh, nothing's gonna get done until they're off the docket. What's the point, anyways? The teachers are doing all the planning, all we gotta do is work out the groups."
"Exactly! We're supposed to be canvassing everyone and making sure everyone's in a group, but we haven't done it!"
"So you wanna do that now? Right before the mocks?"
"Why not?"
"But you don't wanna study."
"Not at all!"
He rolled his eyes, "Alright then. Let's start with us. That's you, me, Nino and Itsuki. Boom, that's ten percent of the class done in ten seconds. We're on a roll."
Yotsuba blinked, "You don't wanna go alone with Nino? We can go in groups of two, you know."
"Yeah, but it'd be less fun if we split up. Don't you wanna join us? It'd be better if we stuck together."
"You want us there?"
"I mean it'd be great with just the two of us, but I know there'll be some girly thing Nino wants to fawn over with Itsuki, so it works out for everyone. And I kinda wanted to go exploring with you too."
Yotsuba sucked on her lower lip and thought it over, the she grinned like a character on a child's favorite after school show. She threw her arm in the sky and said, "Alright, four down, plenty to go!"
Futaro smiled and checked his phone, "Hey, they texted you yet?"
"No, you got anything?"
"No. It's ten minutes to the bell. I'm gonna go look for them, I won't be long. Text me if they show up, okay?"
"You got it!"
Futaro waved as he left the classroom. He made a short list of likely places he'd find the pair. They'd better be somewhere in the schoolhouse by now. He wondered if Nino was purposefully avoiding the classroom until the last moment, but that didn't sound like jer. She'd make a show of how some petty rumors wouldn't influence her and that she was above even their grimiest gossip. He decided to check the vending machines first, maybe they went for something to fight Raiha's curry-ritto like Yotsuba. Their tastes were too sophisticated to handle a little homecooked spice.
Things had changed for Nino, he was sure. But he was surprised when they'd changed for him as well. Suddenly he wasn't just the top of the scoreboard, he was the guy supposedly banging the slut. But they didn't glare or point like they did with Nino. It was as if the hypothetical discarding of his virginity had made him visible like a known face in the crowds. Worse, he'd seen some guys actually greet him like he was part of some private club. He hated the implication that he may be learning about his schoolmates' sex lives. And worse still, he knew it took two to tango. If these guys were getting lucky they needed a partner, and unless the gay population was more widespread than studies predicted, that meant the girls were at it too. But none of those girls were being shamed like Nino was. This was about more than Nino's supposed sex life, it was malicious. Ichika had set this up to hurt her. The reminder darkened his mood like a thunder warning on a cloudy night.
And then he saw her picture.
It was hard to miss. Whoever printed the thing blew it up to take up as much page as the printer could reach. He recognized her before he read the caption. Here was the picture she'd described for him on that late night stroll after the concert. The one she never wanted anyone to see.
The fight-or-flight response is truly remarkable. At all times that tiny figment of the brain called the pituitary gland is holding a surplus of cortisol and adrenaline to unleash like a flash flood, igniting a cascade in milliseconds that elevates the body into hyper-alertness to either fight, or fly. It is ubiquitous with all animals blessed with an autonomic nervous system. It heightens hearing, sight, reaction times, everything you need. It's basically the best kind of drug high for not dying.
And while the process itself is incredibly complex, the outcome is rather simple: you fight, or you fly. There's no third option. This is all the body is trained to do. And despite the brain having evolved several more respectable systems in the past few millions of years, the fight-or-flight response remains largely unchanged. In fact, it supercedes all higher brain functions like a boss issuing an edict from on high. And even though Futaro thought he could master his mind like a city planner controlling urban chaos, he was still bound by the rules of his anatomy as much as he was to the laws of gravity. Once that chemical cascade began, there was no reasoning. There was no second guessing.
He saw the picture that Nino longed to hide. He then understood why she was late. His mind played a million possibilities of what happened once she saw this picture. They ranged from an impossible shrug of the shoulders to a morbidly less impossible scenario of rooftop swan diving. And his heart screamed that he wasn't with her when it happened this time. And he realized who was responsible. He remembered his ultimatum the night before, and realized he had failed. Then he realized Ichika had put this up as a blatant 'fuck you' to both him and his love. The chemical cascade roared like the Niagara. His fight-or-flight response took control.
"Okay," he said calmly as he ripped down the picture and left for blood.
~Ichika~
She never meant to ruin Nino's life. She only wanted to teach her a lesson. It was one Ichika felt Nino was long overdue for. She always ended up getting her way. If someone denied her, she was pushy enough to snatch whatever she wanted into her little claws. It didn't matter what damage was done on the way, all that mattered was that she nabbed her prize. But the world doesn't work that way, no one got to get the apple of their eye every time they tried to change how the world turned.
Ichika had thought that Futaro would be the smack in the face she'd needed. Of course he would reject her, after everything she'd done to him, how could he not? He would reject Aphrodite herself if she'd tormented him as Nino had done over and over like a siren singing her song of dejection. And then Nino would finally understand, actions had consequences, and she was no more special than anyone else. And then, just maybe, her little sister would finally grow up.
And then he fell in love with her. It was like watching a fly dance into the spider's web.
So she decided if Futaro wouldn't teach her, the burden would be hers. Her little rumors were nothing more than nuggets of truth. Nino always wore her heart on her sleeve, she shouldn't have a problem with a few tidbits about her romantic history, or whatever you'd call her blatant assaults, making a few rounds in the schoolhouse. And if her classmates took it a bit further, who was she to stop them? And if Nino felt ashamed of what she'd done, well then, maybe it was time for some reflection. And if she hated Ichika spreading pieces of her life after acting the blowhard that she was, well then maybe it was time for her to face her own hypocrisy.
And Futaro? She didn't love him anymore. She was pressed to remember why she'd loved him in the first place. She assumed it was proximity. Wasn't he the only boy her age she worked closely with on a regular basis that didn't have stars in their eyes? And her impressionable mind erased his negatives like stretch marks in photoshop. But he was just another boy after the first pretty girl to bat her eyelashes his way. He may be book smart, but he was as dumb and horny as the rest of these children. He was no one now, just Uesugi, the boy sitting four seats to her right.
"Ichika!"
She had to rise to her tip-toes to see over Mori's massive shoulders, the boy was built like an industrial smelter. She saw Uesugi marching her way like a canoe riding the rapids.
One of the girls at her side leaned over to look, "What's Uesugi want with you?"
She knew. It was obvious he'd find out. She didn't care. He didn't get to intimidate her into silence. She meant to show him how little she cared about both of them. Of course there'd be blowback, but what could he do? He was a scrawny twig careful that even a summer breeze would blow him over. She'd never let him anywhere near her alone again. What could he do?
But when she saw him, she knew that none of that mattered to him. This was the stranger from the night before, but darker, like the shadows swallowed him and painted them in their color. The boy who lorded over her like a titan had structure. Every movement was carefully coordinated and planned. It was Uesugi, in the end. This was different. He was like a dam that broke in an instant and flooded the innocent valley below. Uesugi's ever-present control was shattered, and Ichika knew he was coming for her.
One of the boys saw her face, and she must not have hidden her fear, because he looked to Uesugi and stepped in front of them. When he got too close he blocked Uesugi, pressing his hand into his chest, "Hey man, better just head back-"
Uesugi gripped his wrist, twisted, and threw him aside. He fell with a groan, too stunned to get right back up.
Uesugi stepped closer, he roared like a wild beast breaking through the valley, "Ichika, come here. Now."
Ichika stepped away as her fear gripped her neck. She bumped into someone behind her as he reached out his hand.
Mori the giant wound his fist and hurled it into Uesugi's belly, nearly lifting him off his feet. Uesugi's eyes bulged, he coughed and fell to his knees, cradling his gut with both arms. He wheezed to regain his breath.
Mori looked from Uesugi to her. His eyes were frightened and his breathing wild, like he'd just sprinted from on end of the city to the other. He cursed to himself, then he took her wrist and said, "Nakano, we should leave."
Ichika gasped for breath she didn't know she needed. Mori took her away like a child pulling a wagon. She stepped wide of Uesugi who was still on the floor, moaning and clenching his stomach.
"Ichika," he sneered, looking over his shoulder as she was dragged away. "I will get you for this. I will. I swear." He clenched his eyes in pain and bowed forward like a monk in prayer.
Ichika held her own stomach and felt something gripping inside, as if his hand had reached her and wouldn't let go.
~Miku~
There's something to be said about being a wallflower. You can walk anywhere like shadows on footsteps and no one bothers to notice. Of course, she made every effort to remain unaware of the world around her in return. Her headphones looped through her infinite playlist and she wandered the halls drinking her tea, delaying the beginning of the exams. She didn't care how well she might do, she'd studied as she was supposed to and was ready for whatever might happen to finally happen.
She wasn't ready to round the corner and watch a tower of a man hit Futaro in the stomach. Nor for when the crowd, including Ichika being pulled like an unwilling farm animal, left him curled on the ground.
Miku hid behind the corner, peeking out as far as she dared to not get caught. She watched him steady his breathing and massage his stomach like he was a double agent checking for his wire.
She could have run to help him. A part of her even wanted to. But she was seized by the same indecisiveness that stopped her the day before. She wasn't the one he wanted. She would only get in the way. She wanted to walk away and take the long route to class. He didn't need her there.
Futaro let out a harsh breath and tried to stand. He got to one leg, then groaned as he tumbled over, falling on his side. He cried as he hit the floor. His cry was like a summoning spell that woke something inside her she didn't know was there. Her legs started moving on their own, and before she knew what she was doing, she was kneeling next to Futaro.
"Hey, Futaro? Futaro, can you look at me?" she asked quietly.
Futaro opened one eye, "Miku."
"Yeah, it's me."
"Help me up. Please."
Miku took his arm and helped him sit up, setting his back against the wall. She asked, "What's wrong?"
"I dunno."
"I saw him hit you, is that it? Did he break something?"
"I don't think so. It's something else. It's been bothering me all week, I think that made it worse." She watched him gripping his stomach like he was holding pressure on an open wound.
Miku pulled out her phone, "I'll call an ambulance, hold-"
He covered her phone with his hand, "Don't."
"Futaro, you need help."
"Not that."
Miku put her hand on his over her phone. She tried peeling it away. "Futaro, you're hurt. You need to see a doctor."
"I can't do that, Miku."
"Why not?"
Futaro leaned his head against the wall, thinking through his answer. His voice went quiet, ragged with distance, "Please don't do it. If I go," he paused, "it'll just be another burden on my dad."
Miku gripped his hand, "So what do you want me to do?"
"Get me to the nurse. I'll call my dad, he'll come get me."
Miku wanted to insist. She almost stepped back and called the emergency number against his wishes, but he held her hand and said, "Please, Miku." And she couldn't deny him.
But how could she get him up? He might be lighter than most boys, but he was still much too heavy for her to lift alone, she thought. But the sight of him holding his stomach, knowing something was wrong, she had to try.
She grasped him around his chest and said, "Let's get you up. Ready?"
"Ready."
She squatted and pushed up with her knees, groaning as they slowly began to rise. He did what he could to help, but she could see every muscle he used was another blow to his gut. She had to do this on her own. And just when her muscles felt they were going to fail, she saw a tear trickling from his eye and knew the pain was severe. She wanted to help him. She still loved him. She wasn't going to leave him here. So she lifted through her own pain and got him to his feet. She wrapped his arm over her shoulder and held him up, she could hardly believe she did it. Here she was carrying his weight and hers, and somehow she stood tall.
She said, "Come on, let's go. I got you." Futaro grunted and leaned on her as they slowly moved down the hall.
A/N
One of you caught the reference to the picture. That really made my day to see that commented on. I've been trickling little pieces of foreshadowing here and there in places I didn't think would be obvious, and I'm glad that someone picked up on that. I referenced Futaro's pain for the last few chapters as well in a more obvious way, and there's more that I've sprinkled here and there that will come up again. I prefer writing with most of the structure already in place, only changing things as they come. This style of writing helps me keep the flow over a long, long story.
Most comments have been dedicated to Ichika and her behavior, and I've enjoyed reading all the responses her actions are garnering. So many people are viewing her behavior through different lenses and sometimes those contrasts are striking. But many of you believe that her actions are irredeemable. It'll be interesting to see how you think of her character later on once her arc reaches its conclusion. Remember how Nino started out as a vindictive obstacle, and often a villain to Futaro. If you're enjoying this story, I imagine you came around to her. Give Ichika time and you'll see where her journey goes.
I have the next chapter already in the works, I'm trying to write ahead if I can to give myself more time in the editing stages. A chapter I draft looks a lot different after I've gone through it two or three times with a red pen, and more time to let it bake will let me shape them even better.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it is always a pleasure to receive your feedback and your thoughts. I hope you will please continue to review, and I'll be back in two weeks for the next chapter.
Chapter published: July 30th, 2020.