There was an unbreakable wall looming before her.
It was made of red bricks—the color had turned dull since its creation—and went as high and as far as one could see. She created it herself; spent the first three years after she turned eight slowly stacking up the stones until the blinding rays couldn't touch her anymore. The wall served as her own type of protection from the chaotic whirlpool of colors from the other side.
She learned at an early age that there's no one that could truly protect her but herself.
Colors were dangerous. They were like blazing flames that were beautiful but wouldn't hesitate to engulf a person the closer they get; like the sun that melted Icarus' wings when he got closer.
They weren't like her beloved monotone that cradled her lovingly in its arms, with its comfort highly comparable to that of a mother's touch, or a lullaby she always sings to lull her child to sleep.
They were chaotic and loud. They were always screaming, growing, always enticing before dragging their victim in a pit of hopelessness after the high was over. Nothing good was ever going to come out of growing that type of chaos within one's heart.
Maybe these words were nothing but an underachiever's rambling but to her defense, she had deep reasons to have this type of outlook in life. She didn't need to look further because she saw it at first hand and even without that experience, the television news don't tell a different story from the one she'd encountered. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd seen a story feature someone who'd dream too big only for it to be crushed mercilessly.
A heterochromatic world might be beautiful but it came with a pain that was more often too much to handle.
She don't want that.
If staying in her monochromatic world meant that she wouldn't end up like Icarus then so be it. She'd rather lock herself in a dark cave where no colors could reach her and her wings, where she would forever sleep and be safe from the harshness of the outside world. Prevention was better than cure, after all. The pain she had tasted that came along that whirlwind of colors was more than enough. The colors didn't even directly came from her yet it still broke her to the point she started to create that unbreakable and impenetrable wall.
She had her out most confidence in that wall, of course. It's been proven (and tested) to withstand any attack from the ever so colorful people who for some strange reason decided to surround her. No amount of chaotic hues could graze its surface, she was sure of it.
But why does she feel so unsure as gaped at the boy before her.
"Do you like volleyball?" Was the question that came out of his mouth.
It caught her off guard, of course. By the way he walked, with all that confidence and determination flashing through his eyes, one would think he'd attempt to scream that out of the world confession again. It didn't even registered that he was talking to her until an uncomfortable silence passes by and Seiko nudged her on the arm.
She blinked a couple of times before finally opening her mouth. "I'm sorry," she apologized; twice now to the same person when she thought about it. "I don't really care about sports."
The way Seiko slammed her face on her desk told her she shouldn't have said that. She could already see her friend nagging her ears off when this boy leaves.
Surprisingly, although the shock was very clear on his face he didn't look to be put off by her words. Instead the fire in his eyes seemed to burn stronger. What was with this boy? She thought.
"What?!" He exclaimed and slammed his hands on her desk, successfully making Seiko squeak and slink into her seat. "Listen here, sports is great. Especially volleyball, okay?!" The boy continued and leaned in closer. Too close in fact that she could almost count the tiny blemishes on his face and feel his breath fan over hers.
"Noya!" His friend hissed behind him and she was now wholly aware of the attention they're slowly garnering. If he noticed it, he didn't show. Instead he leaned back grabbed a nearby empty chair. Nishinoya placed it directly in front of her and unceremoniously took a seat.
"It's all about the thrill of things!" He exclaimed excitedly with his hands flying all over the place. "When you're playing in a court and the ball stays in the air, you feel your heart leap through your chest. You get what I'm saying? It's when the excitement courses through your veins, with your heart beating hard and there's unity in your team! That's what makes Volleyball great!"
And then time seemed to stop and the world erupted with what she could only describe as two stars colliding and creating a galaxy.
It's the way he smiled, his cheeks bunching up and eyes crinkling, that made her recoil in her seat. Not in disgust. No, far from it. His smile was fiery and blinding and that was the reason she's suddenly enveloped by the extreme feeling of wariness.
Nishinoya Yū was dangerous.
People tended to glow in their own special way.
Kaito was reminiscent of an early morning dew and sunrise due to his ability to warm everyone up but lacked the burning prowess a full afternoon sun has. Usui burned as bright and harsh as a red rose, with her being the exact definition of the 'wild child' who simply wouldn't comply to the rules society had put up for her. And Seiko was akin to that of a sunshine in the midday, always so energetic and bright, her smile painting everyone's dull day with the warm color of yellow.
But this boy? He was entirely different.
He wasn't just a singular color, he was bursting in a million of them. Nishinoya was like an entire galaxy that's what filled with an immeasurable amount of stars, always changing and always burning. He was more than like the sun that melted Icarus' wings or the multi colored rainbow that served as the Gods' bridge to the other side.
The boy was the type to engulf anyone with his scorching flame and that thought alone made her want to runaway. She wanted nothing but to strengthen up her bricked wall in fear of having his flame destroying it.
"Oh, I know!" He exclaimed again and this time he took her hand into his. "You should watch us practice or come to our match! Then you'll see what I'm talking about!"
Ah, even his hand was as hot as his colors. It left her speechless.
"Noya!" His friend screamed and pulled him into a headlock. "Seriously, what are you doing?!" The boy with the buzzcut repeated his earlier question. "I am so sorry about this! He must have hit his head today!"
"Let me go, Ryū! I'm not done yet!" Nishinoya screamed back and squirmed in his grip. There was too much commotion happening and if it continued, she was sure it was going to attract the attention of the teachers. Her classmates and the few students who had gathered by the door seemed to enjoy this though. She could see them excitedly whispering and asking what was going on, no doubt this thing wouldn't die down for weeks.
Although shaken by the sheer character that was Nishinoya Yū, she knew she had to do something.
The girl sighed. "Nishinoya-san," She started, intent on putting this thing to an end that very moment. She already had a lot to worry about with the exams nearing and her trying to balance her part-time work with the things she had to do at home, having this situation hovering over her neck was the last thing that she needed. "I really don't care about volleyball or any other sports and I didn't understand any of the thing you just said." The girl said with the iciest tone she could muster.
Beside her, she heard Seiko exclaim her name; her tone similar to that of a mother scolding her child. The rest of the spectators were not so quietly murmuring to themselves about "wow, was that a direct rejection?" or "that was too cold!". Both of which were true.
Normally, she would try to be nice when dealing with scenarios similar to this—simply to not hurt the other person's feelings that much. She wasn't that horrible—but it has been made clear to her that Nishinoya Yū was someone who needed her words to be upfront.
Yet, as she looked into his eyes, she wondered if was that really enough?
"Not a problem!" he said loudly which earned a bunch of amazed gasp from the crowd. Nishinoya quickly escaped his friend's grip and stood right in front of her. "I just need to make you understand, right? Leave it to me!" Then that blinding and mind numbing grin found itself on his face again, rendering her almost immobile.
"... you." were the first word she managed to say after recovering from her initial shock. "Why are you so insistent about this?" The girl couldn't help but ask while racking her brain for the possible reason that lead to this. Aside from that early morning mishap, nothing came to mind. They've been complete strangers since their first year of high school and wasn't he supposed to be in love with a senior?
None of this made sense.
She, and everyone around them, waited with bated breath for his reply. He appeared to be assessing the question as he blinked multiple times. When he finally did gave her an answer, not only did it didn't gave her any sort of clarification, it made her heart—and the rest of the girls—skip a beat.
"It's because I dreamt of you," was all that he said and Nishinoya Yū looked brighter than the blazing sun above. If that was even possible.
It was quite amazing how he managed to say something so embarrassing without batting an eye but it sure did something. Beside her, she heard Seiko practically squeal and she was sure that the other girls were swooning in their own way. As for her, she could only stare at him with her jaw hanging.
Dreamt of her? That's got to be a pickup line or a joke, right? It's not like she hasn't heard of that line come out of a boy's mouth before. There were plenty of them from the dramas and movies her mother watches (pretty sure some of her suitors has said the same). To have it thrown to her face like she's some heroine of an obscured television show was something, to say the least.
Was that it? Was this boy simply imitating a scene from a movie he'd seen? If that's the case, why her? Why not do it to the girl he's supposedly head over heels with? None of this was making any sense.
In the end she wasn't able to say anything when a "what's going on here?!" boomed from the front door. There in his fake hair glory stood the vice principal. He roamed his eyes within the classroom and when they finally landed on the duo from the other class, his face contorted into pure anger that made him look like an ogre.
"You again!" He screamed and pointed at Nishinoya. His companion was the one who quickly made a move and practically dragged him out by his collar, screaming something about "Daichi is going to be mad!" and ignored the vice principal who called for them to stop.
There was an uncomfortable silence that stayed in the classroom after the intruders left. All of them werentrying to digest what had just transpired. But that silence was quickly destroyed when everyone erupted into excited chatters. They ranged from "Woah, what the hell was that? That's got to be a skit, right?!" to "I never knew Nishinoya-san could be so romantic!" while she was still glued to her seat.
Of course it didn't took long for her friends and classmates to come to her and bombard her with questions. Seiko was beaming and rambled about how that was so sweet and romantic, Usui was just grinning at her cheekily, Kaito was a blubbering mess and the rest of them were simply squealing and commenting about everything. The girl was suddenly the center of attention.
She on the other hand couldn't share that excitement. The girl felt wary of the attention she was suddenly given. It made her nervous knowing that this had leaned far back from her routine. She gnawed at her lower lip in worry; an act nobody noticed because they were too busy replaying Nishinoya's words and actions.
Suddenly, the heavy feeling in her heart returned and seemed to be heavier than before.
It was no use, she was way too distracted for her own good. She would usually find comfort in the quiet pop music playing from the store's stereo but she found it irritating, especially with how it was singing about love. She'd rarely scowl at things but that wasn't the case that night as she glared at the innocent machine from where she was squatting.
She was given the simple task of restocking the canned tomato soup but even that proved to be difficult when her mind was filled with impromptu confessions and smiles that would put the sun to shame. "This is stupid," she grumbled which earned her a snicker from her only companion inside the store.
It was normal to have the convenience store empty at this time of the night despite it being only eight in the evening. After all, this place wasn't like Tokyo that was bustling with life where every places seemed to be packed with people. There was a reason the closing time was ten pm; a little later in comparison to the ones nearer in the much more rural places thanks to it being near the city proper, but still quite early if you compare it to stores in Tokyo. "Life simply starts early and ends early around here," she remembered her manager saying as he opened a can of beer during a particularly slow night.
"You should see your face right now. It's priceless." Usui commented from her spot near the counter.
It was usual for the girl to bother her during her work hours as she lived nearby but seeing her dressed in her high-waisted jeans, white cropped top and red coat, she knew she wouldn't be staying for too long. The girl, whose natural black hair she dyed in deep auburn red, has a habit of chasing dreams that most adults thought of as stupid. She always talked of leaving this small town and making a name for herself in the field of music, much to her parents' distaste who want her to attend college and be a civil servant.
Maybe that's why she was chasing these unreachable dreams to begin with. To prove that she could do so much more than getting stuck in an office job. But that's exactly why she was so charming and glowed in deep red, the girl thought.
That night particularly she spoke of sneaking in a rave party with her sister and her college friends at a nearby city. Apparently, some producer from Tokyo was attending and she would be "dumb if she let that opportunity pass," as she told her earlier.
"If you got so much time to spare how about helping me here?" She said while giving the other girl a very unamused look. What she in turn got was a very unattractive snort and a roll of her eyes.
"No way, I don't work here." The girl said and made her way to the aisle where she was squatting. Usui randomly picked a canned food and amused herself by reading the ingredients. It was quiet again after that and the girl merely sighed and resumed with her work. That until her friend opened her rouge painted lips and ruined the quiet of the night. "You know volleyball does sound like a fun sport."
The glare she gave her could freeze Hell itself. Usui raised both of her hand in surrender but the grin she has said that she's not the littlest bit apologetic.
"I'm glad my misery gives you amusement." she grumbled as she finished stacking the last of the canned soup. The girl stood up and dusted her pants, ready to move on to the next task. Usui of course tailed her even inside the stockroom and watched her fold the carton box to be dispose of later.
"Don't be like that," she said as she leaned on wall. "You've got to admit that Nishinoya have some guts to pull that off. I actually felt my heart skip a beat!" Usui, whose grin seemed to grow wider, exclaimed in mock amazement which in turn doubled her exhaustion. God, she couldn't wait to get home and pretend this was just a bad dream.
"I still don't get it," She replied with a tired sigh. "Why me?"
And without missing a beat Usui said, "It's because he dreamed of you."
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?" The girl asked with a deadpanned look. On most days Usui's presence was nothing but a regular distraction; not unwanted but she also wouldn't brood over not seeing her mug. That night though, she proved to be a pain in her ass and she wished the girl would just leave.
"Sis said they're still waiting for her friend to be done with her class," she replied. "But that's beside the point! In all seriousness, what are you going to do?" Usui finally questioned, pertaining to the obvious problem at hand.
What was she's going to do? Wasn't the answer obvious? There were various ways that she could deal with this if she were to base it on experience. Truth be told Nishinoya wasn't the first person to confess or show interest in her. He was just the first person to do so in such an eccentric way that warranted her in telling her friends about it.
There seemed to be a good amount of them during middle school; when she first transferred into this town with her mother who was hoping for a fresh start. Nobody knew about this of course. She didn't see any reason to tell anyone (not even Seiko) because she know it wouldn't matter either way.
She would reject them but after couple of weeks things would go back to the way it was, with those people moving on to the next girl who caught their attention and her back to her little world. She'd always known that those people had "liked" her for reasons that she wouldn't have accepted. The girl asked one of them once. "Why do you like me?" to which the boy replied something about her being cool and having an aura that wasn't common in the girls in their grade.
It made sense to her then.
People seemed to see her in rose-colored glasses because she was from Tokyo and nothing more. These same people were the type that would immediately turn away the moment they realized how dull she actually was, or how it was almost impossible for her to fit that role of a girlfriend from a big city like the ones they'd seen on televisions. She simply wasn't like that.
She had given up on even thinking of giving any of them chances after that. Opting to just ignore and brush off the glances she'd learn to understand the meaning of, as well as the letters that were put in her shoe locker. They would eventually grow tired of the lack of attention and move on to the real girl who would reciprocate their feelings. They always do.
That's exactly what she was going to do.
"I'll just ignore him," she voiced out. "You said it yourself, he like someone else. If I don't give him the time of the day then he'll eventually grow tired of whatever it is that he's trying to accomplish. Either way," a pause as she walked pass the girl to get back inside the store, having been done with her task. "It's a win-win situation for the both of us." Then an empty hollow smile made its way to her face.
"I wonder about that," Was all that Usui said before following her.
The conversation drifted to something else shortly after that and another half an hour passed by before her sister finally showed her face. Usui bid her good-bye, with her telling the girl to be careful, and boarding the back of small pickup truck brought by one of her sister's friends.
She watched from her place behind the register as the vehicle made a turn until completely disappearing from her sight. Finally she was alone. Yet unlike the previous night shifts she'd handled, the quiet of the night was slowly getting unbearable. Which didn't make sense because she loved these times, when she's left to her own devices and seemed to be alone in her own little world.
But did that little world shrunk to the point that it had started to suffocate her? Or was it something else? Like some unforeseen force trying to claw inside her world and was slowly succeeding? If so was simply ignoring it would fix the problem? She didn't know what to do anymore.
"It's getting harder to breathe..." She murmured to no one and held both her hands near her chest.
i love noya so much. wwwwww