Disclaimer:

Carol Peletier, Sophia Peletier, King Ezekiel, Henry, Jerry, Shiva, and any other recognizable character or plot of The Walking Dead belong to AMC Network and Skybound Entertainment, Image Comics and Robert Kirkman.

In no way is the author claiming ownage of any of the characters nor is there any economic/monetary gain at any time. The author is extremely respectful of the original creators and is willing to take down this work of fiction if requested.

No copyright infringement intended.

Original characters are the property of the author.

Chapter 20: Sharing Love

Even though Sophia's room had been furnished and painted for over a week, the door to it had remained shut so that the eager toddler wouldn't see it before the big reveal. Every day Sophia would ask about it and every day Ezekiel would remind her that patience had to be had if something was to be perfect.

On the eighth day of consecutive asking, and having prepared herself for the denial she'd been receiving, Sophia lets out a squeal so loud upon hearing that reveal day is finally here, that even Carol is surprised to hear it.

"It's today! It's today!" Her daughter exclaims as she dances in front of the still-closed door. "Zekey! Open! Open!"

"Not so fast, little one." With a swoop, Carol picks up the dancing girl, securing her against her hip. "First we must have breakfast."

"But I not hungry." Sophia declares. Not a second later, the loud rumbling of her belly alerts her to the contrary. "Otay, maybe some nanas." She concedes.

"And eggs." Ezekiel has finally moved away from the door to guide them towards the breakfast table where he's laid out a feast.

"Woooooow!" Sophia's surprised expression makes Ezekiel grin with pride. "For us?"

Ezekiel gives her daughter a nod before waving his hand toward the chairs around the table. "Where do my Queen and Princess wish to sit?"

She watches as her daughter's eyes sweep once again over the spread before zeroing in on the bananas. "Me there!" She decides with a point of her finger.

From the corner of her vision, Carol can see Ezekiel moving the high chair to the spot her daughter has pointed to. "Where will I sit, Soph?" She asks.

Sophia doesn't take as long to decide this time and quickly points to the chair to the left of the high chair. "Zekey there!" Her little one declares before they can even ask. Ezekiel waits for Soph to be secured to the highchair and for Carol to be sitting before he moves to the right of Sophia and seats in his assigned seat.

Once she and Zeke are sitting, Sophia grabs the bananas, manages to break one-off, and hands it upside down to Ezekiel. "Help, open?"

"Of course, Princess." With Ezekiel's help, Sophia can open the banana and happily munches on it by the time Carol has served her a small plate of eggs. "Now eat all your bags and then you can go open your room."

Sophia eats with a speed Carol can't help but fret over. Bananas are mushed and inhaled. Eggs disappear from the plate at a rate that has Carol constantly checking to see if her daughter isn't sneaking bits of them to an eager Shiva. The tiger, however, is contently sleeping and completely unbothered by the flurry of activity from her toddler companion.

Once done, Sophia proudly exclaims. "I done! I done! See, Mama?" She shows her empty plate and the banana peel to her mother.

"Good job, Sophia." She can't help but praise her, giving her daughter a smile which Sophia quickly returns.

Carol knows her daughter will immediately want to go check the room but she makes no move to get up. Today's lesson of patience isn't quite over yet so she wants to reinforce what Ezekiel is teaching.

Carol senses her daughter's intense gaze but waits for Sophia to say something. Instead, Sophia turns to look at her mother's plate, then at Ezekiels, before turning to look back at her mother. "Mama?"

Swallowing the mouthful of eggs, Carol gives her an encouraging nod. "Yes, baby?"

"You eat." Sophia's tone of voice is one of assurance. It is as if her baby is giving her permission not to rush on her behalf. "Zekey too."

"Will you be able to wait?" Ezekiel asks.

Sophia scrunches up her nose in thought then nods. "Yes, daddy. I wait."

Though she's been expecting Sophia to break from her sudden bout of patience, her daughter holds steady. She entertains herself by playing with Shiva, with the tiger trying to reach the napkin her daughter keeps dangling over the edge of her feeding tray. Sophia even waits for the breakfast table to be cleared, the dishes washed and her face wiped clean. However, the moment her sock-covered feet touches the kitchen floor, Sophia's patience is over and she rushes toward her room.

"She's getting faster." Ezekiel teases.

"Not sure if that's a good thing or not." Honestly, Carol will happily run herself haggard if it means her daughter can simply be a child with the regular reactions of a young human. Seeing Sophia move around the house with zero hesitation or fear proves that every decision she has taken until now has been the correct one. It soothes her soul.

"Mama! Daddy! Hurry!" Sophia's overly excited voice comes from the end of the hallway. Shiva instantly bounces towards her, followed by Ezekiel. "Mama!"

"I'm coming!" She calls out. "I'm coming!"

By the time she reaches the much-guarded door, Ezekiel is urging Sophia to come towards him so he can boost her up to reach the door knob. With no hesitation, Sophia runs to him falling into his arms with a giggle.

Ezekiel boosts her up high enough, then patiently waits for her little hands to wrap around the door's knob and twist. The door is pushed open even as he lowers Sophia.

The gasp Sophia lets out as she walks into her new room does not prepare Carol for what awaits inside. The room has been decked out for a princess; from the child's canopy bead with the soft pink tule wrapped over it, to the castle painted on one of the walls which have all sorts of animals surrounding it, to the moods made out of cotton chunks that hand from the ceiling. The room even has a white dresser flanked by a small vanity with a mirror that is the perfect size for Sophia to grow into. By the window, is a wooden toy box which Carol knows is already filled with toys, and right beside it is a medium-sized bookcase full of the books Ezekiel had previously bought for Sophia.

Carol is stunned into silence.

"Do you like it, Princess?" She hears Ezekiel ask.

Sophia launches herself towards Ezekiel, momentarily forgetting that she'd been tracing the wooden letters at the foot of her bed which Carol had helped paste before she too had been expelled from the room. "I love it!" Sophia exclaims as she wraps her little arms around his legs. "All mine?"

"Every little thing in this room is yours, Sophia."

With a tiny squeal, Sophia turns and continues exploring. Carol remains silent until she feels Ezekiel stand beside her, a hand gently pressing to her lower back. "Carol, are you all right?"

His voice makes her eyes instantly mist over. She nods to answer him but doesn't turn in case her tears will fall. "Ezekiel… this… this is so much more than Sophia could have ever dreamed. You didn't have to do all of this."

She feels his hand slide over her waist until his arm is fully wrapped around her. With a tiny bit of pressure of his fingers on her hip, he guides her until her body is facing his. Her eyes quickly connect to his and she blinks back the tears, hoping he won't see them.

"It is an honor to do this for her," Ezekiel whispers as he slightly crouches to be at her eye level. "It is not too much. It never will be. Sophia is the greatest kid I have ever met and she deserves to have a safe space that reflects her brightness."

"But I can never repay thi-"

"Have I ever requested you to?" He interrupts her. As soon as she shakes her head, Ezekiel grins. "Then vanish that way of thinking. The family we talked about, the one we wish to become, will not be based on repayment or debts, but on love and hope."

He leans forward and gently places a long kiss on her forehead, which she can't help but lean forwards for, his arms naturally wrapping around her.

She would have stayed in his arms much longer had Sophia not chosen that very second to remember her beloved toy. "My dolly!" She exclaims before rushing out of the room towards Ezekiel's bedroom, leaving the adults chuckling in her wait.

"Thank you," Carol whispers to Ezekiel. She goes on tip toes to kiss his lips, a small smile adorning her face. "For this, for everything you do."

She shakes her head when she sees him gearing up to say something. Nimble fingers raise to cover his lips before he can let out a sound. "No, don't deny me that. Accept my gratitude. Family can be grateful for each other."

"Then I am grateful for you and our little Princess." He whispers back to her, his lips caressing her fingers, making a shiver run up her arm. "And for the way you two complete me."

"Found dolly!" Sophie exclaims as she once again unknowingly interrupts them.

She makes a feeling to her bed, which despite the lower size of a toddler bed still proves too hard for her to climb on her own. Even Shiva, who has been trotting along with Sophia, attempts to jump up onto the mattress but misses by a couple of centimeters and rolls back down to the floor. "Silly Shiva."

"Here, I'll help the little princess and her trusty tiger." With Ezekiel's help, both Sophia and Shiva can get on the mattress and under the parted tule.

Sophia instantly places her dolly against the brand new pillow then turns once more towards Zeke and grins. "Look!"

"I can see. She fits quite well if I do say so myself."

"Thank you, daddy." Carol grins at the look that flashes over Ezekiel's face. It's a mixture of amusement and awe. She knows that he's comparing the moment they'd just had with her daughter's heartfelt thank you and realizing just how much Sophia and she are alike.

"You are very welcome." He replies after sharing a teasing look with Carol.

Carol finds herself rolling her eyes even as she crosses the space and joins her little family. She wants so much to tease Ezekiel about it being too late to back down and that he is stuck with the both of them, but she stops herself. This new side of their relationship is still too fresh, too young, and could easily be broken, a fact that while her heart knows is not true, her mind begs her to listen to. As always, her mind wins so she reigns in her words back before they can escape.

Instead, she gives both of them a little shrug. "Like mother, like daughter."

Ezekiel flashes her one of those incredible smiles he seems to reserve only for her, before turning his attention back to her daughter and tickling her sides. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

She believes him.

Their day, just like every day they spend together, goes by quickly. After letting Sophia get acquainted with the myriad of new things that now belong to her, they head into the zoo to work on Shiva's rehabilitation. It is there that they spent their time, well into the afternoon, helping Shiva's leg grow strong with swimming. Both Carol and Ezekiel watch proudly as Sophia swims around, cheering her on until it's Shiva's turn. Then they all cheer Shiva as the tiger cub goes back and forth between Carol and Ezekiel, swimming until her little legs tire out.

By the time her rehab routing is over, and she's gone through her weekly checkup, Shiva is exhausted and all but slumped inside of her carrier. Sophie isn't fairing any better. She's held securely in her mother's arms, face hiding against Carol's neck because she's adamant that she's not sleepy, not one bit.

"Are you a hundred percent sure, Princess?" Ezekiel asks her. "You've been swimming all day, stopped only to have some dinner and then you helped with measurements and keeping our little Shiva calm. Even I would be tired."

A half moan, half groan escapes from the confines of Carol's shoulder. "No tired."

"Not even a little?" Carol asks.

Sophie's head moves from side to side, then, with a very heavy sigh, settles on her mother's shoulder again. This time, she's looking toward Ezekiel, her eyes half-closed. "No tired, daddy." She insists. "No tired, Mama. I wanna play at ho-" Her words are interrupted by a sudden yawn that makes her whole body shudder.

Carol waits for Sophia's yawn to pass before she presses a kiss on her daughter's cheek and then lowers her to the car seat. While she secures the drowsy little girl, Ezekiel moves around the car to place Shiva's carrier on the other side, facing Sophia. With both small charges secured, Carol gently closes the door then opens the passenger door and climbs on.

"Still awake back there?" Ezekiel wastes no time turning on the car and starting the ride home.

"Yes, daddy." A quick look at the mirror lets her see Sophia whose eyes are wide open. She knows it will only last a little while before she's struggling to keep them open again. The movement of the car will lull her to sleep even faster than the comfort of being carried.

A slight scratching comes from Shiva's carrier, signaling that the tiger cub has woken. Sophia reacts instantly. Through the mirror, Carol watches as her daughter's head quickly turns towards the sound, an arm extending until her little fingers reach the metal door of the animal carrier. She's about to ask Sophia if Shiva looks sleepy when she sees a tiny paw appear through the holes made by the metal.

"Mama, Shiva is tired." Sophia declares.

"I know, baby. She's had a very busy day.

Sophia's mirror reflections nods but doesn't look away from her furry friend. Instead, Carol can see her daughter patting the paw that Shiva had wedged out.

"She swam." Sophia's words are paused as the car's movements start taking their toll on her. "A lot."

Carol hums in agreement, her eyes moving from her daughter towards the man at the zoo's employee parting entrance. Ezekiel doesn't have to stop the car because he's already rising the plume but he still gives out a little wave, which Carol mimics before they are off on their way.

"Mama?"

Carol's eyes turn towards her daughter once more. She gives a little hum to urge Sophia to continue then waits as her eyes slowly close before slamming open again. "Maybe I tired." Sophia finally admits.

"Are you?" Carol can't help but turn to look at Ezekiel who is simply grinning at her daughter's sleepy declaration, his eyes never straying from the road.

"Just… little."

"You can go to sleep, baby," Carol assures her. She knows how excited Sophia is to go back home and play with her new toys, but she's also not surprised that she won't make it awake. Playing will simply have to wait for another day.

Sophia replies with a hum of her own as her eyes slip close once again. Carol watches carefully to see if she'll wake but Sophia's eyes remain closed. After a couple of minutes of silence, Carol lets out a little sign of tiredness.

Keeping his voice low, no doubt to prevent waking the sleeping child, Ezekiel takes his turn in questioning. "Are you tired, my Queen?"

"Exhausted." She admits with a tiny chuckle. "It was a full day. A great day."

"It was." He agrees with her. After carefully checking the road around them, Ezekiel lets go of the steering wheel with one hand and quickly latches it to hers, his fingers squeezing around hers. She intervenes them before he can pull away, the warmth of his hand feeling heavenly against hers. "Sophia is becoming quite the accomplished swimmer. She will be swimming laps around us soon."

"I've never seen her more determined to learn something since she learned her ABCs."

Back then Sophia had learned the song from her and had constantly sang her version of it. When she had proudly sang it to Ed, he had snickered and called her a dumb bitch for not being able to say the letters right despite only being a year and a half. Sophia hadn't known the meaning behind his words, but his tone of voice had been enough to scare her, and had spent the afternoon sniffling and clutching her mother close. Afterward, Carol had noticed an insistence to learn the correct phonetical sound of each letter so she had worked with Sophia on them as best as she could until Sophia was able to say them all properly. She'd never sang it again to her father but Carol had heard it more than once when she'd been alone with her daughter.

"Shiva is picking it up as well." She adds.

Carol can't help but lean back against the suddenly very comfortable backrest. Her eyes half-closed, she takes a moment to observe Ezekiel who is agreeing with her.

"She's a marvelous cub who unfortunately didn't get a second chance from her mom." She sometimes forgets how much Ezekiel loves animals. It is plain to see how the tiger's rejection of Shiva hurts him as much as it must have hurt the cub.

"She's lucky to have you," Carol mumbles as her eyes close on their own.

Ezekiel must have turned to look at her because the last thing she hears before darkness takes over is his soft chuckle and his far-away voice "To have all of us."

The Cherokee's engine turning off is what finally wakes her. She blinks sleepily, her eyes trying to focus on the darkness of the car. It isn't until Ezekiel pushes his door open that the light turns on and she's able to see better. The car is almost silent except for a beeping to warn that a door is open. Begin her she can hear the soft snoring of her baby girl and Shiva, both still deep in sleep.

"I fell asleep?" She half whispers before rubbing her eyes.

"Indeed, you did," Zeke replies. She doesn't have to see him to know he is smiling. She can hear it in his voice. "I didn't have the heart to wake you. I even planned to carry you inside."

"No, no, no." Carol quickly changes. She shakes her head and opens the door to slide off the sta. "You'll break your back if you try to pick me up."

"I hardly think I would.'

She knows Ezekiel means well, but she also knows she could stand to lose some weight. How many times had Ed told her so?' How many times had he pinched her belly and demanded she stands on the scale? No matter what she had done, her little mommy belly had refused to go away and Ed had noticed. Ezekiel had said nothing when he'd taken the pictures, but he must have noticed.

"I'm awake, though." She reminds him, desperately wanting to change the subject. "I'll take Soph in, you take care of our cub."

Together they can quickly bring in their charges. Though normally she would make a beeline for the bedroom they'd been occupying, this time Carol moves towards her daughter's new bedroom. The room is dark but she can maneuver thanks to the light from the hallway. With the ease that only a mother can have, she transfers Sophia from her arms to the bed.

She is halfway through covering her up when Sophia opens her eyes sleepily. "Mama?" She mumbles.

"Yes, sweetpea?" Carol replies though she continues tucking her in.

"Home?"

"Yep, we are home." She reassures the little girl.

Sophia yawns and closes her eyes but Carol knows the routine and knows Sophia will wake once more. "Shiv-" Another yawn prevents her from finishing Shiva's name.

"She's with Ezekiel. She's asleep, just like you should be." She sits down on the side of her daughter's bed and works on untying the ponytails Sophia had sported all day. Her daughter's hair will be crazy come morning but she'll deal with it then.

"Sweepy." Sophia mumbles.

Leaning forward, Carol places a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. It seems to be all Sophia needs to fall back to sleep, her little arms wrapping around the doll that had been waiting for her on the bed. "Goodnight, baby." She whispers.

Carol pauses for a moment at the door and turns to look at Sophia again. When her daughter does not move, she closes the door so only a few light streams through in case Sophia wakes up in the middle of the night, and moves towards the living room where Ezekiel too had finished putting Shiva to bed.

"Did she wake up?" He asks as he puts away the carrier.

"Only for a little bit, then she went right down." She flops down on the nearby sofa and crowns as her back instantly aches. "Today has been a day."

"It has." Ezekiel agrees before joining her on the sofa. "Perhaps we too should turn in. Our little cubs are likely to wake up very early."

Carol playfully groans again, her arms falling slack on each side. She turns her head to look at Ezekiel and finds that he looks as tired as she feels. One of her hands raises of its own volition and she gently caresses his cheek and chin with the back of it. They remain silent as he leans into her touch, tilting his head slightly to kiss her skin.

"If I wasn't so tired, I would kiss you." She mumbles, unable to move more.

Ezekiel chuckles silently. "Come, my love, let's go to bed."

She knows what he means; each of them going to their respective sleeping spots, but somehow the way he says it tugs at her heart. She can't help but wish they would share the bed so that he would wrap his arms around her and lull her to sleep. She wants to feel the protection she has only felt at his side, wants to forget about everything but his warmth, the beating of his heart, and his breath on her neck.

"You should take the bed back." She quickly blurts out in a misguided attempt to stop her daydreaming.

Blushing bright red as Ezekiel raises an eyebrow, Carol quickly tries to explain. "Now that Sophia has her own room and bed, I can take over the couch and you can rest your back on your bed."

"I could not," Ezekiel pauses and corrects. "I would not make you ever sleep on the couch. Leave it to me. I am quite acquainted with it."

"Ezekiel, I know your back has been hurting." She hasn't called him out on it when she'd caught his grimace earlier that day but now it was time to do so. "You've been sleeping on it since we got here, there is no way you would prefer to sleep on this couch when you have a perfectly good bed in your room. Let me sleep here."

"Out of the question."

"Zeke-"

"If Sophia needs you in the middle of the night, you will need to tend to her. The bedroom is far closer and better for that. If she goes looking for you she will get scared if she doesn't find you where you've been sleeping all this time." He reasons. "I shall be fine here."

He is right, she knows it. Sophia will no doubt need her and fear is the last thing she ever wants her baby to go through again. It still doesn't sit right that he has to continue the discomfort of the couch for her benefit.

She watches as Ezekiel gets up, stifling another groan as he does so that she won't hear, then tiredly shuffles over to the mound of blankets and pillows he's been using. The memory of her daydream abruptly pops into her mind. S he could offer for them to share the bed, after all, they are adults and are venturing into a relationship. But what if he thinks she's being wanton? Will he think she's offering more or think less of her?

The words are stuck in her throat to the point that she has to fight for them to come and when they do, they are broken and unsure. She can feel the heat traveling up her chest and landing on her cheekbones even as Ezekiel turns to look. "What… what if we… if we share?" She manages to push out.

"Share?" He looks absolutely cute as he asks her, his head tilting to the side, his eyes wide open. He almost looks like Sophia when she's trying to figure out something. "The couch?"

"No!" Carol can't help but exclaim as her cheeks keep on flailing. "Not… not the couch."

"Because while I'm sure we could try, I don't believe we'd be successful." He continues and Carol finally catches on to the fact that he is teasing her. "Too small."

With sparkling eyes and a boyish grin, Ezekiel moves toward her. The arm that is currently not holding the pile of sheets, slides around her waist. She takes a deep breath of his scent as he pulls her close and presses a kiss on her forehead. Carol leans against him, savoring the tender kiss for as long as it lasts. When he pulls back he only does so to look into her eyes.

"I could never put my comfort over your peace of mind. We do not have to share a bed if it makes you uncomfortable, my love."

Carol shakes her head but makes sure her eyes are centered on his chocolate pools. She wants him to see there is no hesitation or discomfort on her part. "It doesn't… I want to share a bed… our bed."

Ezekiel remains silent for what feels like an eternity. Instead of speaking, he makes intense eye contact as if her eyes would be able to tell him if she's lying. Through her first instinct is to withdraw and hide, Carol slowly relaxes, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Whatever Ezekiel had been searching for, he seems to find.

"If my Queen is absolutely sure, then a bed we shall share." He concludes. "Our bed."

She finds that the chorusing of her words makes the butterflies in her stomach instantly take flight. She feels like a schoolgirl as they make their way from the living room to the bedroom, closing everything on their way. She takes a peek into Sophia's room to find her little girl has turned away from the door but hasn't uncovered herself. Satisfied, Carol turns away towards their bedroom door just in time to see Ezekiel plug in a night light in the outlet in the hallway. "Just in case she wakes up. She'll have the light to guide her through the dark."

How does he think of everything?

How did she get lucky enough to fall in love with a man such as him and have him love her in return?

Letting Zeke fiddle with the nightlight, Carol moves toward the bedroom to start her nightly routine. She first moves to the adjoining restroom and washes her face. The bruise from Ed's last attack has almost completely healed. There is just a tiny bit of greenish hue on her skin that she covers with makeup but it's mostly to reassure herself that no one can see it more than actually covering anything. With that done she quickly pulls her hair up into a ponytail and slips into her comfy pajamas.

It's only when she's bout to turn the knob to open the door that she hesitates.

Ever since she'd escaped the hell she lived with Ed, she hadn't shared a bed with anyone that wasn't a small toddler. With Ed, Carol had always had to be at the ready, waiting for him to fall asleep to avoid waking up with the power of his blows. She had trined herself to remain absolutely still, to keep to the far end of the mattress so as to not invade his precious space. In all the years that she'd been with Ed, she hadn't fully rested at night.

She knows Ezekiel would rather hurt himself than hurt her, but the truth is that she doesn't know how she will react. For all she knows she will spend a normal night, sleeping with the knowledge that she is safe and completely unresponsive to having another body by her side. But she could also react badly. Her body could instantly go back to being on guard or her mind could take the sensations around her and trigger a nightmare.

Deciding that sending a little prayer to a God she hardly spoke to anymore for a calm night couldn't hurt, Carol pauses for a second longer and then exits the restroom.

"My Queen." Ezekiel gives an exaggerated little bow as she passes, a teasing grin on his lips.

"Hardly am queen like right now." She replies with a downward motion of her hands to show him her rather comfortable but definitively not queen-like pajamas.

Ezekiel replies by grinning even bigger. "You are always absolutely breathtaking to me."

He doesn't wait around for her answer and turns towards the bathroom to take on his nighttime routine. Blushing softly, Carol places her hands on her heated cheeks and raises on tiptoes. Hoe he knows what to say to raise her spirits she will never know. Not that she needs to, especially if it makes her feel as if she's floating around.

"Come back to reality." She urges herself under her breath.

Falling back on the balls of her feet, Carol moves towards the bed which remains as neat as she's left it that morning, and pulls back the covers. She slides into bed, pulls the covers up to her chin, and waits.

She can hear Ezekiel moving about in the bathroom, minding his own business, completely oblivious to the sudden nerves she's developing with each passing second. She fidgets with the end of the blanket, her fingers worrying the material rhythmically. When she realizes what she's doing she pulls her hands back and frowns.

Is the blanket too high up?

Worrying he'll come out and see her with the blanket up to her neck and think she's changed her mind, Carol pulls back the blanket, letting it fall up to her waist. It takes her but a second to start rethinking if the blanket's position will make her seem too forward so she pulls it back up until it covers her chest but is still some way away from her neck.

Carol turns to her side, facing away from the bathroom door and giving her back to the spot she knows he used to sleep in. She tries to relax again, to tame the butterflies that seem to excitedly flutter about in her stomach and chest, but her mind will simply not let her. Will Ezekiel think she is mad if she's looking away?

She twists once more, this time facing his side. Again, her mind plays a trick on her, replying one of the many times Ed cruelly told her she was a floozy simply for laying in what he considered to be a provocative position.

"Damn it!" She grumbles and flops back so she's looking up at the ceiling.

"Is something the matter?"

"Oh!" Ezekiel's voice came out of nowhere, making her jump out of her skin. She takes a deep breath, her hand pressing to her chest as she tries to calm down. When had he come out of the bathroom?

"Sorry." He presses a knee to the mattress but doesn't fully climb on. "I swear I didn't mean to scare you. You just looked like you were struggling for a bit."

"I… I was." Carol admits.

Zeke nods but doesn't move out of what she can only assume is an uncomfortable position. "Bad memories or discomfort?"

She sighs. She wants to only admit to the bad memories but she refuses to lie to him. "A little bit of both, if I'm honest."

He nods again and slowly slides his knee off of the bed. "I can still take the couch."

"No! No, that's not what I mean." She swears, her hands already reaching to pull him into the bed. "I don't want you anywhere but here, it's just…"

"Scary?" He guesses. "To share a bed again with a man?"

He knows. She doesn't know how he knows but she does. He seems to understand her better than she understands herself. "Yeah, a little. The last time I was with Ed… well you know how that ended."

"Carol, I'm not Ed.'

"Oh, I know!" Carol assures him as she deflates against the bed. "Believe me, I know. I just… my mind gets the best of me."

Ezekiel seems to understand, at least he nods to her words even as he's turning around to angle his body towards sitting on the bed. It's only once he's fully seated down with his back to the headboard that he turns to look at her again. "I know sometimes I can be a little pushy to get you or Sophia to try new things, but please know that here, in our bedroom, I will never push you into doing something you do not wish for."

"Oh Zeke, that isn't what I was thinking."

"I know, I know." He promises. "I just want you to know that. We go at your pace for however long it takes. If sleeping side by side, like tonight, is all we ever feel comfortable doing, then that is all we will ever do."

She frowns. "But that's not-"

He interrupts her, his voice soft and calm. "Fair?" It's not until she nods that he slides down until he's lying beside her, his hand reaching for hers.

Carol turns on the bed, laying on her side again so that she can face him. Her hand finds his, grabbing three of his fingers and holding on tightly. Instinctively, his thumb caresses her hand in back and forth motions. She hums softly at the sensation and inches their hands closer to her.

"My love," he whispers. "I know that you've faced a horrible life with Ed. I know he hurt you. I know he abused you. I know that those horrors still rear their ugliness even now and will probably continue to do so for years to come. I know it has made intimacy a challenge, in every possible way. I hope now that you are away from him you can start healing and feeling what love truly is."

She can't help it. Even though she hates the fact that her eyes instantly mist over and her nose quickly closes up, the term seems to be unstoppable. She sniffles and holds on tighter to his hand, waiting for him to continue.

"Love isn't demanding of your partner more than they are willing to give. Love isn't forcing or cajoling the other person to give in. It's definitively not holding on to them when they desire to go." She knows that what he's saying makes sense, deep in her mind, but she also can't help but realize that everything he has described is the only type of love she knows.

"Love…" Zeke pauses for a second, his eyes dancing around slightly as he tries to find the proper words. "Love is aching for a person's company but also respecting boundaries that person places. Love is waking up hoping not to have an amazing day but for your loved one to have so. Love is putting that person's well-being first even above your desires. It's being happy for the other person's milestone, respecting their decisions, and sharing in their grief to help them survive. It's patience and kindness and support. It's so much more than having sex and an orgasmic rush. Love is falling asleep beside the person you can't live without and knowing you'll be happy to wake up the next day in their arms. It's rushing back home to share your day and listen to theirs. It's knowing that no matter where the cards fall in the relationship, you will always have each other's back. I'm not interested in having a good pleasurable time if none of the other things are fulfilled."

Though she doesn't want to let go of his hand, Carol releases his fingers when she feels him pull back. Surprisingly, he only lifts his hand to her face to brush away her tears.

"I will always love you, Carol. No matter if we go into a physical relationship or not."

Though her first instinct is to not believe him, to remind him that a man has needs as Ed had always reminded her, she can't help but believe him. She sees it in his eyes, plain as day, feels it in the way he brushes her tears away, and even hears it in his words so softly spoken. She believes him so much that her heart feels like it will beat out of her chest with the power of her joy.

Gathering all of her courage, Carol closes the distance between them by leaning in for a kiss. It's only the pressing of her lips against his once, then a second time, before she pulls back again, but it's heartfelt and the only way she can say that she loves him back without bursting into tears.

She doesn't move back though, keeping a little closer than she was before. Her hand twitches against the mattress as it tries to find his, inching a little closer to him with every twitch. Ezekiel takes her hand and pulls it just enough for her to know that he wants her closer.

"Just sleep." He reminds her teasingly, which only makes her giggle.

Eventually, she ends up with her head on his chest, his arm around her, holding her hip but not pulling or trapping her against him. Her hand rests beside her face, right over his heart which steadily beats, unbothered and calm. His other hand raises to cover hers but slowly slides off as his body relaxes in sleep. Not ready to let go of the warmth of it, Carol manages to hook her pinky finger to his, earning herself a gentle squeeze in reply. With the last of her consciousness, before sleep finally claims her, Carol smiles and burrows against him.

Perhaps she hadn't known what true love between a couple could be, but she knows she will enjoy finding out with Ezekiel by her side.