My sudden realization made me revert back to the need to leave. I pushed his arms from my waist and raced past him to nab my things before slipping through the door. I glanced back for a second and saw him still on his knees with his head hung down. I stepped out into the hall and the feeling was like my head breaking through the surface of water. I took several gasping breaths in an attempt to clear my head. I group of students walking past stared at my odd behavior. Thoughts buzzed through my head.

My feet were on autopilot as I tried to convince myself it was not acceptable to fall in love with one's professor. As I tried to come up with more reasons than 'it's just not done' I noticed I was at the greenhouse. Herbology was a bigger mess than ever. I stood beside the strange plant we were given and stared off into space now remembering the very major fact that he was a Death Eater and that is why any of this was an issue and I don't know how I could have forgotten that. Several times Professor Sprout had to hit away the blooms when they latched onto my unmoving hands and wrists. Apparently they drank blood.

For my inattentiveness I was given three feet of parchment to write about the plant. I made a mental note that I should probably find out what it was called since I missed that part of class completely.

Even my time in the library was distracted by thoughts of how crazy I was. I looked down at my parchment containing my Herbology and read it over.

Lamia Flore are most commonly found in the volcanic soils of Iceland. They mostly feed on the blood of animals but are not unknown to drink the blood of humans should the opportunity arise. They are characterized by their black hair, black eyes, he's a professor, a death eater, rude, spiteful…

I let out a frustrated sigh when I realized I had branched off to writing my internal struggle. I took out my bottle of Mrs. Hagstrom's Ink Vanishing Ointment and applied it to the essay.

...characterized by their black petals and scarlet striping. They are generally not deadly but in the event someone or something would unknowingly fall asleep next to a Lamia Flore they have been known to drain their prey of all blood.

I thought about how stupid I was to let myself be distracted around these plants. It was reasonable to believe had Professor Sprout not been paying attention I could have fainted from blood loss. At the thought my mind went to the last time that happened. It was the first night Severus had been anything but horrible to me. A few butterflies floated to life in my belly. I dropped my quill into my bottle of ink and slammed my head on my folded arms on the table top as soon as the memory of how childlike his eyes became when he looked at me panicked before I fell to the floor. My stomach burst with new butterflies at the burned image of his raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and slightly open mouth. I pounded my head on my arms hoping that perhaps all thoughts of him would be jostled from my brain out through my ears.

"There you are." Susan said. "I've been looking for you. Dinner? And then after that I suppose you'll be going to your defense group."

I didn't look up at her but shook my head on top of my arms.

"So no to dinner?" She asked. "Are you sure?"

I lifted my head. "Yes to dinner." I clarified. "No to defense group."

"Oh, do you finally have a night off?" She asked.

I shook my head. "I think I'm done with that. Forever."

"But you loved it." She said taking a seat at the table. "You never missed it. It was really annoying."

"I didn't love it." I said more hostile than I should have. "I mean, I liked it. I really liked it but then it got complex."

"Good." Susan said. "That it was getting complex. You're getting better and you're ready for more difficult spells. Don't quit just because it's getting harder."

"That's not what I mean." I explained. "I just don't like it anymore."

"Are you okay?" Susan asked.

It was such a simple question asked with innocence. Susan wasn't prying she was wondering but those three words snapped the string that was holding me together since before Christmas and was weakened this afternoon. I put my head back on the table to cover the emergence of tears.

"Ruby?" She asked. "I'm sorry. You don't have to explain anything to me. You don't like defense anymore, that's fine. No need to cry."

I lifted my head and wiped my nose on the sleeve of my robes. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I don't know what that was. I think I'm just putting too much pressure on myself for the N.E.W.T's. I could really use a homework free night." I knew Susan would be all too happy to try and distract me.

A smile spread across her face. "I know exactly what we can do! But first dinner."

She tugged at my elbow and I started putting my things away.

Upon entering the Great Hall I refused to look at the staff table. Susan and I spent time reminiscing about times past. We were laughing and I had forgotten about Severus until I thought about how I wasn't thinking about him and then I thought about him again. This was going to be difficult.

After supper we were leaving the Hall. I had turned around and began walking backwards so I could continue my joking with Susan. She started making gestures and had I not been so concerned with my teasing I would have paid attention to what she was saying. Instead my foot made contact with something behind me and I could feel myself lose my balance and tip backwards. Suddenly I was staring up at Severus as his arm caught me from under my back and his other arm steadied me around my hip. The position we were in was much like he dipped him in the middle of a dance. A moment he held me like this before his eyes flashed with realization. His arms left me and I fell the rest of the way to the ground clunking my head on the stone floor. He stepped over my fallen body and walked into the Great Hall.

"What an ass." Susan said standing to my side and reaching her hand down to me. "He caught you he could have at least helped you the rest of the way."

I sat up and rubbed the back of my head as I stared at the doorway through which he disappeared. "He probably just realized it was me."

I grabbed Susan's hand and she helped me up. "Yeah, he does sort of aggressively hate you doesn't he?"

My stomach did a weird twisting movement at the thought of him hating me. "Yeah, he hates me. Now let's go and not do homework."

The rest of the night was spent with Susan in the common room playing games and in the dorm talking before anyone else entered. It had been so long since we had had a night like that and I really enjoyed it. I was sad that I wasn't sure how many more times I'd be able to do this before I left Hogwarts for good. Tomorrow I would certainly have to study. There could be no more than one night of putting it off before things were due.

The next morning I awoke from a dreamless sleep. As soon as my eyes opened my mind flooded with Severus's tear filled eyes. It seemed the only way I was able to escape him was in my sleep.

Susan dragged me downstairs for breakfast after which we walked to Transfiguration. Class passed slowly and all too quickly at the same time. Before I knew Susan was saying goodbye as we parted ways for different classes. I wandered slowly through the halls with a purposeless sway. I found myself at the top of the stairs leading to the dungeons to potions. I looked down. I imagined Severus and the way he made my heart sink and rise easily with the change of a mood. I remembered the day before when he begged me to not leave. I shiver ran down my spine when I remembered him referring to 'losing me'. I spun around and walked quickly from the stairs jostling many students on the way to their classes. I rushed up flights of stairs until I was inside the safety of Ravenclaw tower. Seventh year and I was skipping my first class.

I sat at one of the tables in the strangely quiet and empty common room and began working on my Herbology I had put off last night.

I kept an eye on the time as I penned my assignment and before long it was time to head down to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Like Transfiguration time passed quickly and slowly. I was paranoid about Severus bursting through the doors and scolding me about skipping his class. I was relieved when there was no use of spells during the class. I was far too distracted to be able to do anything but read and pretend to pay attention.

Instead of going to dinner I convinced Susan to go to the kitchens with me and get some food from the house elves. Surprisingly she agreed without too much argument. I took our food up to Ravenclaw and worked on homework in the empty common room while everyone was at supper.

Susan feigned working on her homework but I could see her staring at me every few seconds. Finally I gave in.

"What is it?" I asked putting my quill down.

"Nothing." She answered quickly and looked back down at her book. I started to reach for my quill. "It's just that Penelope Abernathy said that you weren't in potions today. That's crazy right? Because you were in Transfiguration so why wouldn't you have gone to potions?"

I looked down at my paper. "Penelope gossips too much. She must be running out of truths that are interesting." I felt guilty about putting Penelope down like that since she was very nice.

"Besides I'm sure Snape would have your head if he knew you were skipping." She added.

And that was that. No more questions. Susan accepted what I had to say and left it at that.

The rest of the week past much the same way. I went to two out of three classes everyday always skipping potions. I decided to use the time in the Common Room alone to study it so I wouldn't fall behind for the N.E.W.T's.

Susan didn't ask any more questions and no one else asked me about not being there. Maybe this was the easiest way to live out the rest of the year.

On Friday night I spent much of my time catching up on assignments. I had spent most of my week working on the parchment for Herbology and had put other homework off. Susan was somewhere in the castle with Mark on a date. I went to bed before she was back.

I found myself standing in a dark corridor of the school. The torches and candles were unlit and the only light I saw was moonlight pouring in through a window around the corner at the other end of the hall. I was alone and I felt cold. I looked down to my feet for a split second and when I looked back up there was someone standing in the moon light. They wore a long hooded black robe and stared unmoving.

I looked down again hoping when I looked up he would be gone as quickly as he had appeared but this time when I looked up he was right in front of me. Even in the dim light I could see his pale skin. His mouth curled into a demonic smile and two slits where a nose should have been. In my hurry to get away I tripped and fell on my back. He pounced and bared his teeth at me. Before my eyes they changed from human teeth into snake fangs. He opened his mouth wide and I closed my eyes, waiting for the feeling of his teeth to sink into my flesh. But the pain never came.

I opened my eyes again and Severus was sitting next to me. The torches and candles now lit and dancing with an orange glow. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows. He turned his left arm to expose the inside where the dark mark was. It moved on his skin as the snake slithered out of the skull's mouth. The mark made me afraid and my skin leapt to live with goose bumps. He lifted a finger to his lips to quiet my reaction. He looked down at the mark with disdain before moving his right hand to his left arm. He began pealing the mark from his skin like a piece of tape. He threw the mark aside and it burned away with a flash of sparks. He looked back to me and smiled. He lifted the hand that removed the mark and placed it on my cheek.

I sat straight up in bed. It was completely dark in the dorm save for a small bit of light coming in from the window. I looked over at Susan's bed and saw a lump under her covers.

I couldn't shake myself from my dream and I couldn't talk to Susan about it especially right now when I really wanted to talk to someone. There was only one person I could talk to and I was apprehensive about it. The dream had to have meant something and my mind was swimming with different images. The one that kept replaying was Severus pulling the mark from his arm.

I flung my covers off and put my robes on over my pajamas. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I knew where I was going. It was strange walking in darkened, empty hallways in the school. I knew if I was caught I would be in serious trouble for being out of bed this late. I walked quickly and was almost sprinting through the hallways before I reached the door that led down to the dungeon. I slipped inside and carefully took the stairs down unable to see anything in the complete black. I turned at the bottom of the stairs and saw a tiny sliver of golden light escaping from under the potions door.

I opened it quietly and took a step inside. Severus was nowhere to be seen but the door to his office was open. I tip-toed across the floor and stepped inside. He was sitting with a quill in his hand making notes on a sheet of parchment. Butterflies flapped ferociously in my stomach and I replayed the part of my dream when he touched my cheek just before I woke up.

I took a silent deep breath. "You're right, I did say that." I forced myself to say out of context. His head snapped up. "About not being able to just leave someone I considered a friend."

He slowly put the quill down on the desk. "I thought you were done with me. You haven't been in class since I made a complete fool of myself."

"I thought I was done with you too." I admitted. "But I did say that and I am a woman of my word. I'll give you one more chance to prove that you've changed. I owe you that much. You did beg me on your knees after all."

His cheeks blushed the lightest shade of pink. "What made you change your mind?"

"It's embarrassing." Was all I was willing to admit.

"I'm assuming that part of the conditions of me proving that I've changed is being more open with you, is that correct?"

It was a good condition so I nodded my head.

"Then I ask the same courtesy of you." He said smoothly. "What made you change your mind?"

I inhaled and looked down at the floor. "It was a dream. It was stupid but I…I think you saved me from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and then…you peeled off your mark."

There was silence. "I've wanted to remove it so many times, Ruby." He said.

"I believe you." I accepted. "I should probably go though. Filch will probably be down soon and I can only imagine what this would look like." I gestured to my pajamas.

"Can we talk tomorrow?" He asked as I turned to walk. "I'll meet you by the Whomping Willow tomorrow after supper. I know a place we can go."

I looked up at his eyes full of fear that I might say no. His face looked so young when he was scared. I nodded my head and slid out of his office door into the darkness.